Changing Perception to Create a Satisfying Business
Topics:
“Dream Imagery”
“Listen to Your Body”
“The Problem Is Perception”
“Comparing Is Always Destructive”
Thursday, December 28, 2023 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Linda (Ruthanna)
ELIAS: Good morning!
LINDA: Good morning, Elias! (Elias chuckles) Happy December!
ELIAS: And how shall we begin?
LINDA: Oh, that's a good question. (Laughs) I'm not very, not very prepared today. It's been a busy eight or so days. My son and his wife, Summer, came for a long visit. It's the longest time we've had with them in a long time. And this is the first day I'm kind of back alone and trying to get my head sorted. (Elias chuckles)
Maybe, let's talk about… I had a weird dream. It was actually a series of dreams, the next to last night they were here, and one dream beforehand. I've always felt this connection to Jimin, who's one of the BTS members. And it's always a little bit embarrassing to talk about that, as a 68-year-old groupie (both laugh) and trying not to be a voyeur.
But he… I was looking at… My mom was showing some old pictures of Adam when he was a child. And in those images, I kept seeing Jimin. It was just like, oh my god, that looks like him, not Adam. And that night, I had a dream about Jimin and there was just this really deep connection that felt very nice. It was one of those feelings you want to follow. I got up and came back to bed and fell asleep. And then the dreams started intermingling. It would be Adam, and then it would be Jimin. And it was just this deep connection that when I woke up, I couldn't explain it. I couldn't remember a lot of the details of the dream, even though it was quite vivid at the time. And the feeling lasted for like twenty-four hours, and then it just dissipated completely.
And I was wondering what that connection or what the dream was?
ELIAS: It’s symbolic imagery for you about these individuals and their connection to each other, which is strong. That in that, these two individuals are counterparts and they have engaged many, many, focuses together.
LINDA: Okay. Is there a number, just like for an idea, ballpark?
ELIAS: One moment. (Pause) Numbering three hundred forty-nine.
LINDA: Okay. And so do they have any objective awareness of each other?
ELIAS: Not necessarily.
LINDA: Okay.
ELIAS: In this focus.
LINDA: Okay. And so was there any intent for me, or it was just recognizing that connection?
ELIAS: Yes, recognizing the connection between them.
LINDA: Okay. Okay. And do I have any connection with Jimin?
ELIAS: You have incorporated many focuses with this individual also. I would say that that is likely what has drawn you to this individual, is that combination of the counterpart action with your son and also your connections with the individual in your focuses together.
LNDA: And I guess it's their counterpart that made them almost interchangeable in my dream?
ELIAS: Yes.
LINDA: Okay, that makes sense. Okay, cool. I have had a sense that John Krasinski is also a focus of Jos?
ELIAS: (Pause) Observing.
LINDA: Observing. Okay. All right. Well, that's kind of (laughs) fun. Okay, now I've stalled. (Laughs) I have to move on.
In wanting to do sort of a regeneration check-in, and as part of that, I've had some experience with flow and movement, and I'm not sure I can articulate it. Maybe you can help me draw it out. I had set an intent at some point in this year in regard to movement, wanting to increase my ability to move comfortably, wanting to have more flexibility in my body. I feel like I've developed strength in my body, but I wanted to have more suppleness, flexibility, and also more freedom and playfulness in my movement, especially dancing. And I've found that when I dance—when I'm dancing alone (laughs) by myself—I have a lot of fun. And I started noticing that wow, I'm having more and more movement. My knee doesn't hurt. Or if I feel any soreness, it dissipates within a day.
And gradually it’s kind of moved into high-impact movement while dancing, which is good because I haven't been able to get really nice cardio, and I can just kind of go in the zone or the flow while I'm doing that. I haven't run seven or eight years since I injured my knee, I think, running with running trails with Calvin. And it just came to me at Farrington, I just had this impulse or urge to run. I just wanted to see what it felt like. And I didn't have on appropriate shoes, so I didn't push it but I would run like a circuit, maybe a block, and then I'd walk twice that far, and then I would run. And I did that maybe for a total of two miles, but over a long period of time, and then just wanted to see, well how does it feel? Can I actually run? And my knees were quite sore for a couple of days and I stopped. I didn't do it again. I wanted to talk to you. But then I started doing some trail hiking with Brenda and Caleb, no more than two miles. And I found that I can do some incline now, not a huge one.
And it just feels like my knee is healing more and more, and I’m getting more and more flexibility and suppleness. But I don't know what the limits are. I've been very reluctant to run again. And so, I wanted to know if you could give me a sense of that.
ELIAS: I’d say continue with the walking for a time, because that gives you that strengthening aspect. And in that, I would express also in addition to inclines with the walking, practice walking briskly. And in that, you don't have to do that every time but I would encourage you to move in that direction to be strength-building with your knees.
LINDA: Okay. I've been doing Qigong for flexibility and suppleness. I have exercises for strength building. Some of the positions have felt a bit uncomfortable. It might have been me being overly cautious. Is there some benefit to adding the strength component into my Qigong?
ELIAS: Yes.
LINDA: Okay. And when my dance turns aerobic and more high-impact, is that okay for now?
ELIAS: Yes.
LINDA: Okay. Very good.
One of the things that I've noticed in my walking. I do, I have a walking meditation and it actually becomes quite brisk. And in it, you set intents, and I've set intents in regard to movement obviously. But I've also set intents in regard to Lockhart, me both as an artisan and a businesswoman. And we've been struggling with canceled markets, struggling with markets. I've shared this with you, of which we don't make any money. And it was continuing into the year, and I had been feeling frustrated with it, and things of us placing things at stores hadn't come through.
And I decided to go for a walk. And it was actually the day I decided to stretch a bit and do the combination of running and brisk walking. And when I got back home, I had a text from a woman in Pittsboro that I had made initial contact with several months ago. And she was reaching out and making contact with us about actually putting stuff in her shop, which we are now doing. And I was wondering if that flow in walking with those intents, if it's beginning to flow over into other areas of my life?
ELIAS: Yes.
LINDA: And is it because of the intent? Or is it because of being able to be in that flow or the meditations?
ELIAS: It's not, it’s not simply the intention. It’s changing your energy. That is what is allowing you to see a difference in relation to whatever intention you are setting. But in that, I would say that this is an excellent direction for changing your energy. And that is significant.
LINDA: And is it changing my energy when I'm walking and when I'm doing movements? Or is it other places?
ELIAS: I would say that definitely walking is being very helpful in changing the energy, because it changes what you're paying attention to.
LINDA: And I have noticed, like when I'm walking really briskly and I'm doing it to music, that it feels very different.
ELIAS: I would agree.
LINDA: Okay, very good. So, hold off on the running for a while.
ELIAS: For now.
LINDA: For now, okay. Like I said, I just had an impulse (laughs) and then I had another impulse. Like, yeah, don't do this. Don't do this again. (Both laugh) Okay, so my knee is continuing to heal?
ELIAS: Yes.
LINDA: Okay. And I assume along with it, because just using pain as an indicator, I don't have the hip pain anymore.
ELIAS: Which yes, that is definitely an indicator of the healing aspect. And if it wasn't healing, that you would have, that pain.
LINDA: Yes. (Laughs) I have very strong recall of that pain. Okay. All right.
ELIAS: And that is part of the reason that I would say I would encourage you to be simply concentrating on walking, because you have a strong association and it's a matter of changing that.
LINDA: Okay. I have a strong association with the knee injury?
ELIAS: Yes.
LINDA: You know, it's curious, I’ve never asked—I don't know why – never asked what the energetic imagery was in my knee injury.
ELIAS: And your assessment?
LINDA: I know I was being really hard on myself about my practice, having doubts about my healing practice, but they kind of seemed to snowball together. So I have a hard time separating out what would have been the initial underlying imagery. I know I was questioning myself quitting my nicely-paying job and giving up being a professor. That's what comes to me, but it's kind of convoluted.
ELIAS: I would say that it was actually a matter of paying attention to what you were doing and taking your time in paying attention to whatever decisions you were engaging, whatever choices you were making. And in that, listening to yourself: listening to your intuition, listening to your body, because your body is also involved in your decision-making because in that, if you are generating choices that you're comfortable with, when you say you feel good about something, your body actually feels good. When you don't feel good about something, your body doesn't feel good about it either.
LINDA: Yeah, and I guess it works in two directions. Because I think I was making some choices that were actually beneficial for me, but I was uncomfortable because I was questioning them as being responsible or irresponsible. But I also think I was making choices like staying in a relationship with Odie that was not comfortable or satisfactory at that time. Maybe something like that?
ELIAS: I would definitely agree. It's a matter of not one thing, but more a matter of paying attention to what your body is expressing in relation to the choices that you're making, and knowing that sometimes it can be challenging or difficult to know what your intuition is saying to you but it can be a lot easier paying attention to your body, because your body moves in more of a less complicated direction: it feels good, or it doesn't feel good. And even neutral is actually on the side of feeling good.
LINDA: Yes, okay. I get that.
ELIAS: Therefore in that, when you're making choices, when you're moving in a direction of different decisions, different choices that you're making, if you are paying attention to how your body feels, that can be very helpful in reinforcing to you in relation to your intuition. It's not a matter of feelings that are emotional feelings. It's a matter of paying attention to what your body feels.
LINDA: Okay. Cool, that makes sense. One of the things this time of the year, my body has felt out of sorts a bit because of not having time to walk, not eating the way that has felt so good this year, and making the transition back to those practices after a couple of weeks of playtime. (Both laugh) I’ll rationalize. I'm assuming that my body can recalibrate and return to that path fairly easily?
ELIAS: Definitely, yes.
LINDA: Okay. (Laughs) I know that will feel good and I’ll have more regeneration questions in the new year.
One of the things I just wanted to check in, my cardiologist assessed that my heart was fine. I've also been doing the food plan and some new supplements as well for cholesterol. And I wanted to see if you had any advice, because I don't want to do damage to my heart or circulatory system. And I can't remember if I've ever talked to you about cholesterol.
ELIAS: And what are you doing?
LINDA: Right now I'm taking—it's not a statin, but it's a small dosage of a prescription. I'm working with the doctor though. I'm taking red yeast rice, or red rice yeast, whichever direction. I'm taking plant sterols, including one that is aged garlic by itself, and then another that's plant sterol. Trying to go back on the anti-inflammatory eating plan, more specifically, that I had done throughout the year last year. But it had not, doing that by itself had not lowered my cholesterol.
ELIAS: Very well. Therefore this is a different regiment that you have engaged. And how long have you been doing this?
LINDA: I've been doing the plant sterols probably six months. I just started the red yeast rice. My doctor wanted to give me six months on it and then retest it and he increased, he doubled the dosage of what I had been taking.
ELIAS: Very well. And what do you feel about that?
LINDA: It feels… I enjoy experimenting with supplements, and it feels good. I was happy that I had a doctor that automatically knew about those supplements and was willing to work with me. And I feel comfortable about doing it. I don’t know how… I haven’t had any… I didn't have any sense of it within my body. I take my supplements and they feel good. I feel good doing it. But internally I don't have a sense other than it's just fun to experiment with.
ELIAS: I would say that's good, and I would encourage you. And in that, this is part of it, that you feel good doing it. That it’s not simply something that you're doing as a chore, but that you actually feel good doing it.
LINDA: That's good to note. Because I think Odie struggles with it. I think he feels good when he's doing things, but positive things like supplements and stuff that sometimes he thinks… I feel that he thinks it's more of a crutch or a chore. But that will be an interesting perspective to share with him.
ELIAS: Yes.
LINDA: Cool. Okay.
ELIAS: I would definitely express that supplements are definitely not a crutch.
LINDA: Okay. Okay. And it's just there's so many different ways to experiment with them right now that it's exciting that you have those options and to have that availability that's not financially onerous, I think. Cool.
ELIAS: I very much agree, and I would be very encouraging of you.
LINDA: Thank you. Well, we will continue to play with them. (Elias laughs)
Let's see. (Both laugh) Like I say, I'm a little bit scattered today. I think I'll come back to Lockhart for a minute. We're excited that… We’re excited to have space in downtown Pittsboro and we're working on a display. The woman's rather unorganized. (Laughs) I have no idea of what the shop is going to actually turn out to be, but it's an exciting step that we will have a spot in Pittsboro with our stuff in it and we don't have the responsibility ourselves for a brick-and-mortar place. We have another opportunity in one of the bigger suburbs as well, and it hasn't come through. We've been accepted. We're just waiting. And I had kind of set the intention to spread them out so we could enjoy doing it, and it seems like we're on the path to get our stuff into retail spaces and not do markets as much.
But one of the questions that I had wondered about, Odie and I have this imagination or dreaming—I'm not sure it’s an intent exactly—of having a furniture shop, maybe a cabinet shop, and our own retail space within that, and eventually hiring young apprentices that want to become artisans and business people. And we talk about it and it's exciting, but I'm wondering if there's some internal hesitation or fear that that would disrupt the balance of our life between work and play, that it's not just a lack of capital or a lack of trusting ourself in creating a new business.
ELIAS: (Pause) I’d say that you're somewhat overthinking it.
LINDA: (Laughs) Okay.
ELIAS: I would express to you that it's more simply a matter of: what do you want to do? Do you want to expand? Do you want to incorporate apprentices? That can be very fun and exciting and fulfilling. And I would express that it's simply a matter of looking at what you're doing, not thinking about it from a perspective of money but more in relation to what interests you creatively.
LINDA: Yeah, and I think in part that's the rub for me. It's a very different thing to create and sell at markets or at the retail level that we're expanding into, than shifting out of being the artisan to being a businessperson and a manager of people. But I don’t… I've not experienced that. Odie has, and he thinks he grew his business too big and it became onerous. But I don't know how I know it without experiencing it to some level.
(Pause) I guess I don’t want… It seems like there's a difference between an escape fantasy and between going down a deliberate path with awareness.
ELIAS: I would also say that it's a matter of looking at the situation from the perspective of you don't have to move in a direction of creating something large. That when you're moving in a direction of entertaining a business, it's more important that you're doing that in relation to your creativity and what you enjoy, rather than volume.
LINDA: Okay. Yeah, there feels a relief when you say that, when you say it that way.
ELIAS: (Laughs) It's significant that you can move in a direction of engaging teaching apprentices, and you can move in directions of your creativity. And in that, you can even move in the direction of creating a significant business but one that you enjoy, not simply one that is making a considerable amount of money or that is a large business, so to speak. I would say to you that that can become very overwhelming and you would likely express much more enjoyment if you are incorporating a smaller business and continuing to express in a manner that you genuinely enjoy.
LINDA: It feels like I have the luxury to pursue that direction. Odie seems to have more pressure because of his back. And he does a lot of really hard work, work that's hard with his back injury. And for him, I think he feels pressured to do, have a bigger, it's a conflicting pressure to have a bigger business, that making furniture is easier on his back than making and delivering huge cabinets and doing bathrooms and so forth. So for him, I think he feels the pressure to shift into something that's smaller and easier on his life in the sense of his body, but he needs a replacement income. And yet he has experienced that overwhelm in having a business that is too big and too demanding. Would you have any insights for him in making a transition of some sort?
ELIAS: Let me express to you: the problem is perception. And in that, THAT is the hardest thing to shift, is to move in a direction in which the, you can recognize that your perception is the thing that is in the way. Because in that, if you have this perception that you HAVE to do something and that you have a particular expression or idea of what it is that you have to do, in that, then that influences everything that you ARE doing. And when you are expressing that you HAVE to incorporate a certain amount of income, and therefore you have to do a certain amount of work and you have to generate a certain amount of productivity, all of these have to’s create a tremendous amount of pressure. And in that, you can't think and engage other directions or other possibilities, because those pressures are too much in the way.
And in that, that's, as I said, the hardest piece to change and shift is that when you are moving in a direction of what you enjoy and what you love and not being concerned with all those pressures, you will create what you require and more.
I have expressed this many times and I will express to you that this is actually how everything functions. As I've expressed over and over and over again: you always, ALWAYS, create more of what you're paying attention to. Therefore, if you're paying attention to how much you enjoy something, how much you love doing something, how satisfying it is, you'll create more of it. If you're paying attention to how rewarding that is, you'll create more of that. And if you're paying attention to how hard you have to work at something and how difficult it is and how much you have to do, to actually make ends meet, then you're going to create more of that.
And in that, I cannot express to you strongly enough: when you can relax and trust yourselves and move in a direction of genuinely enjoying what you do and sharing that with other people, you won't have to concern yourself with the monetary aspect because it will take care of itself.
LINDA: Thank you, that’s (inaudible), a good reminder and I will share it with Odie as well.
ELIAS: I will say that I do acknowledge that that is a difficult transition to make. When an individual has been expressing in that direction for a considerable amount of time in relation to what you have to do, it’s difficult to move in the other direction. It feels as if you're risking.
LINDA: Right. And I think the pain, the pain and the restrictions in his body feel like a constant reminder of the importance of making this the “thing you think you have to do,” that it adds to the pressure in a nonproductive way.
ELIAS: This is the same as what I was expressing to you: that your body is going to reinforce what your intuition is expressing. Therefore, if you are not accustomed to listening to your intuition, if you don't know how to pay attention to your intuition, you're definitely not doomed. You can pay attention to your body. And your body is louder.
LINDA: And is his body expressing, communicating that pressure he's putting on himself?
ELIAS: Absolutely.
LINDA: All right. I know we've had this conversation before. I mean déjà vu! (Both laugh) Okay. But it helps. It helps when you're sharing information with other people. And I believe he is genuinely much more receptive to these messages than before.
ELIAS: I would say that that's understandable. I would express that people in general become more receptive the more uncomfortable they are.
LINDA: (Laughs) Oh, yeah. Okay. Yes. (Laughs) Well, I will be excited to share that with him.
Probably the next topic – thank you. Probably the next topic will be one that Brenda and I may continue in January. It's interesting and annoying, this tension that seems to come up between doing what's “financially responsible” — and I'm using that in scare quotes—and living a life in which you believe in the reality of regeneration, in longevity, and a healthy lifespan. And we’ve both been nudged into writing wills. My mother gave us money to do it a year ago, which I resented. (Laughs) I didn't want to write a will. Odie had a friend that just fell over dead last week, and had maybe been dead for three or four days when they found his body. And so we’ve both been talking with our sons and trying to figure out writing the whole will thing, and it's really uncomfortable. (Laughs) And I don't know, it's one of those things, like how do we walk that line of being responsible, and being true to our intent and our perception of regeneration and a healthy, long lifespan?
ELIAS: And why would these things be at odds?
LINDA: I think because it's preparing for the possibility that I'm going to fall over dead and leave things untended. And yet, I don't think I'm just going to fall over dead one, someday.
ELIAS: That’s one manner of perception, but I would say that moving in a direction of generating a will is not necessarily preparing yourself for falling over dead. I would say that it’s – or it can be –an act in which you are simply designating what you want to give to other people. And in that it's not actually, or it doesn't have to be actually, a matter of preparing for your death. But eventually, inevitably, you will die. And in that, having a will doesn't designate when that will happen. It's simply an expression of your choice of what you want to give to other people. Therefore, in a manner of speaking, it's simply another expression of a gift. And in that, I would say that it's not something that has to be at odds with regeneration or longevity.
LINDA: I think a piece of it is that it also exposes to my son that (laughs) his mother is not as responsible or as prepared for old age as his father is. And I think it's having to share that I've made choices that to him appear would appear to be not responsible.
ELIAS: That's his perception.
LINDA: Yeah.
ELIAS: And you have no control over other people's perceptions. AND comparing is always destructive. Therefore (Linda laughs) I would say that there is no point in comparing yourself with his father.
LINDA: That's a timely reminder. Thank you. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And I would say that it's also important that you recognize that it doesn't matter whether HE compares you to his father or not. That's not your expression. It's not your responsibility. It doesn't matter. It’s his choice to move in that direction or not. And it that, it doesn't change anything, does it?
LINDA: No. And I may be projecting that on him as well.
ELIAS: But I would say that even if you're not, it doesn't matter. I would say that what is important is what YOU do and your motivation and in that, knowing that longevity and regeneration is not at odds with doing something such as generating a will.
LINDA: Well, your framing makes it, your framing makes it fit very, very well.
ELIAS: It’s simply a gift that you are giving to another individual. And in that, what I would say to you, my friend, is think about it in that capacity. That if you move in a direction of comparing your gift with someone else's gift, what does that do? It simply diminishes what you're doing and what you are giving. And in that, your gift is no less valuable than someone else's gift. And what is important is that it's from you.
LINDA: Well, that makes… That makes sense. It’s very, very helpful insight. Thank you.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) You are welcome.
LINDA: Well, the next time we talk it will be 2024. I think Brenda and I'll talk to you in January. As it stands right now our mother appears to be moving back in with us. (Laughs) And—
ELIAS: Ah! Again.
LINDA: Ah yeah, just when we had figured out how we were going to fit in a remodel for building me my master bedroom. So we will have an interesting year ahead and we'll see what happens. But I suspect we will begin a conversation with you in January. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Ah, very well.
LINDA: Yeah.
ELIAS: And how are you feeling about that?
LINDA: I feel comfortable that we're doing what's right for her. It feels, it feels disappointing. We thought she loves where she is. We're annoyed with my sister for bailing. So kind of mixed, mixed feelings, but the four of us—Brenda, Robert and Odie and I— are committed to having her here until she can find her next step. So I think we're okay. We haven't dealt with the actual dynamics yet. (Laughs) So…
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
ELIAS: Very well.
LINDA: So we'll, we’ll see. Well, I don't want to engage a new direction, but send us energy! (Laughs)
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Very well. I will be expressing my energy with all of you in tremendous support.
LINDA: Thank you.
ELIAS: And no more comparing.
LINDA: Yes, sir. I got that one! (Both laugh) I got that one. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Excellent. (Chuckles)
LINDA: All righty. (Laughs) Thank you very much.
ELIAS: I express tremendous, tremendous love to you and great encouragement in everything that you're doing.
LINDA: Thank you. I appreciate it.
ELIAS: Until our next meeting, in dear friendship as always. Au revoir.
LINDA : Au revoir.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 1minute)
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