Want and Desire; Following Feelings; Complements
Topics:
“Following Feelings”
“Want and Desire”
“From Surviving to Thriving”
“Are You Listening?”
“A Matter of Habit”
“Focus Types and Differing Awareness of Feelings”
“Complements”
“Being Drawn to Dysfunction”
Saturday, October 22, 2022 (Group/Hinsdale, New Hampshire)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Aaron (Todd), Ann (Vivette), Bonnie (Lyla), Chris (Luthra), Chris (Xavier), Debbie (Tamarra), Denise (Azura), Hazra (Lettecia), John (Lonn), John (Rrussell), Karen (Turell), Lea (Myha), Lynda (Ruther), Mark (Liam), Melissa (Leah), Peter (Stefan) and Yvonne (Zarla)
“The more content, the more satisfied, the happier you are, the more you create more of everything you want. That’s how consciousness works.”
ELIAS: Good day!
GROUP: Good day, Elias!
ELIAS: (Chuckles) This day I will open the floor to all of you, but before I do that what I would express to all of you to bear in mind for your subjects are two subjects: one, complements. The reason that subject is important is because it doesn’t only encompass romantic relationships. It’s also important for friendships and therefore, that’s a significant subject. And what do you know about complements? What is it that makes up a complement, as an individual? Can you define that? Do you know what to look for? Do you know what it is in yourself that would BE complemented by someone else, and how? The other subject is one of your long-held favorites.
GROUP: Following feelings!
ELIAS: What a lovely chorus! (Group laughter) I know that’s your favorite subject. (Group laughter) I would say that it’s likely as much of a favorite subject as mathematics when you’re in school, or history. Mathematics and history are usually the subjects that everyone hates. Isn’t that correct? And following feelings is the adult version of that. (Laughs) But with this, what I’d like you to think about is, what does it mean? What does it mean to you? Can you actually define not what IS following a feeling but what ISN’T?
ANN: I’m so confused on following feelings. I will listen to you today.
LYNDA: Me too.
JOHN (LONN): What does that even mean, what isn’t?
MELISSA: Intentional. Intentional is not following. Being intentional is not following.
ELIAS: That depends.
PETER: You first have to be aware you’ve had a feeling.
ELIAS: Yes. That’s very important. But some people, especially emotionally-focused people, are aware of having the feelings. They’re not always very accomplished at distinguishing what isn’t a feeling, and therefore recognizing what is following a feeling and what isn’t following a feeling. Because it’s a matter of defining what the feelings are and what the feelings aren’t.
And for thought-focused individuals, it can be a situation in which they may not necessarily recognize a feeling. They may not notice a feeling. And therefore they’re not also noticing if they’re following a feeling, because they’re not recognizing what the feeling is.
MARK: How about if you’re not reacting but responding?
ELIAS: And that’s part of it, because if you’re not reacting then you’re likely not following a feeling.
MARK: That’s my point.
ELIAS: Likely.
LYNDA: Always a hook!
ELIAS: Correct.
ANN: Can you tell us how—
MARK: Define that likely then.
ELIAS: Because—
MARK: Give an example.
ELIAS: You could be—
MARK: So I’m just frozen, is that what you’re saying?
ELIAS: No. You could be responding to a feeling, but if you aren’t actually moving through the steps, if you haven’t moved through the step of identifying what your statement is, what you’re doing and what the statement is, if you skipped that step and you aren’t recognizing what that is, you might not necessarily be reacting to a feeling. You might be responding, but you still could be following a feeling. Because if you haven’t engaged that next step of, “What is the statement? What am I doing?” if you haven’t actually identified that, then likely what will happen is you’ll keep thinking about it. That’s the point with following feelings.
Following feelings isn’t necessarily that you’re dwelling on the feeling itself or continuing to express the feeling itself. What you mostly do is you start thinking. You start thinking about the feeling and what caused it, and then you start moving on tangents and past experiences and you start thinking and thinking and thinking about this experience and that experience, and what this means and what that means, and you move through all of these tangents and you keep perpetuating the feeling. Therefore, when you stop thinking, you feel it again and you think more. And that is the following feelings. And what that does is, that influences your choices. It influences your attitude. It influences your perception, which is of ultimate importance, and it influences what you do, what your choices are.
You likely, in relation to any feeling, think about when you have a good feeling and you say you’re in a good mood. And you’re likely going to be more generous, more grateful, more thankful, more fun. You’re going to move in those choices because you feel good.
When you don’t feel good, when something is happening that you have a signal of something uncomfortable, but you’re not actually identifying “What am I doing and what is that statement?” when you don’t know what that is, then you’re in a bad mood. And if you’re in a bad mood, that’s going to influence your choices in what you think of as a negative capacity.
The reason this is so important is because it affects so much of your life, and because it is a very important part of self-awareness.
Yes?
MARK: I just wanted to ask you a question in regards to following feelings. What if, and obviously you’ll correct me, what if…? I’ll give you an example. I’m in a situation. I start having a feeling. The feeling comes to me and I’m asking myself, “What am I doing?” I look at my immediate environment and I find nothing to attach the feeling to. In my case, it’s typically somebody that’s not in my immediate environment. Would you agree with that statement?
ELIAS: When you are picking up a feeling from someone else?
MARK: That’s correct. It’s still a feeling.
ELIAS: It IS still a feeling.
MARK: I can follow it and it can be very bothersome.
ELIAS: Correct.
MARK: I mean to the point of annoying, emotional… I mean, I’ll give you an example.
ELIAS: Correct.
MARK: I’ll give you an example. I’m in a situation, this may sound kind of screwy but somebody died. Normal people’s behavior is they’re sad, they’re potentially crying. But in this instance I’m crying, I’m sad, but not from what I’m doing in the moment. It was actually from someone else. And that can be very confusing.
ELIAS: Now stop!
MARK: Yeah?
ELIAS: Yes, it can be very confusing. But let me also express to you, your feelings are your feelings. Your body—
MARK: I’m getting those.
ELIAS: Yes, your body creates those.
MARK: I’m doing all of that, I’m interpreting it, I’m making it happen, I’m doing it to myself?
ELIAS: Yes.
MARK: It’s my, it’s the way I interpret it?
ELIAS: Yes.
MARK: So I, whatever I, and I had realize this, 100%, it’s all me.
ELIAS: Then that is—
MARK: 100%.
ELIAS: Then that is the point. If you know that that’s what you’re doing, that’s—
MARK: So you’ve got to catch yourself. That’s my point. You know?
ELIAS: That’s the statement. Yes. That’s the statement: “I’m tapping into someone else’s energy.” Not someone else’s feeling.
MARK: No, my own feeling.
ELIAS: Yes.
MARK: Their energy.
ELIAS: You’re tapping into someone else’s energy and you’re interpreting that. And you know that. Therefore, it’s a matter of you stopping and expressing that. It’s no different than any other feeling at any other time with any other subject. It’s the same.
It’s still catching yourself when it’s happening. And when you catch yourself and you KNOW, “This has to do with someone else and what I’m picking up of their energy,” then if you still are moving in a direction of being responsive to that—
MARK: Or reactive.
ELIAS: Or reactive, which that IS reactive.
MARK: Yeah.
ELIAS: Then you’re not paying attention to you.
MARK: No. But the point was, is this is easy to get lost (inaudible), because you’re not looking in your immediate environment.
ELIAS: And that’s the point.
MARK: Yes.
ELIAS: That is the point for any of these feelings. Any feeling, whether it’s yours or whether you’re picking up someone else’s energy, it doesn’t matter. It’s all—
MARK: (Inaudible) explain it like that.
ELIAS: It’s all the same. It’s all a matter of the first action that you do is to stop and ask yourself: “What is the statement?” And how do you know what the statement is? “What am I doing in this moment?” Many, many, many times what you’re doing is first, not being present. That’s the first piece of what you’re usually doing. You’re either paying attention to something past or you’re anticipating something future or you’re paying attention to something outside of you, some other person, some situation. You’re not being present and therefore that distracts you and it takes away your choices.
You can’t make choices correctly or efficiently if you’re not paying attention to you. If you’re being reactive to some outside source, then you’re going to be less able to generate a choice for you that is to your greatest benefit, because you’re distracted.
MARK: So if you’re being present, you’re not following feelings? It’s kind of like you’re throwing that in there, but I’m not buying that.
ANN: But do we know when we’re present all the time?
ELIAS: If you are being present and aware—
ANN: Truly present.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANN: Yes.
ELIAS: Then you would know.
ANN: Right.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANN: Sometime we give ourselves (inaudible).
LYNDA: Say that one more time.
ANN: Yes.
MARK: Say that again.
ELIAS: If you are genuinely being present—
MARK: Genuinely.
ELIAS: — then you ARE being self-aware in that moment and yes, that would create a tremendous difference because then you know what you’re doing. That’s the point of expanding your awareness. That’s the point of becoming more self-aware. The point of all of it is precisely what all of you want to do: you want to be self-directing. You want to make choices that you’re aware that you’re making choices. It’s not that something’s happening to you but you know you’re making these choices. And you want to make choices that are to your greatest benefit and know that they’re to your greatest benefit.
Sometimes there are things that you want that might not be to your greatest benefit at that time. And in that, there is a difference between what you want and what is your desire. And your desire is what always moves to your greatest benefit, but it doesn’t always move to your greatest benefit in a comfortable manner. But it moves in a more comfortable manner if you are self-aware.
If you are present, if you are self-aware, then you’re directing. Then you know what choices you’re making. Then you know what your desire is and you know what is to your greatest benefit and what isn’t at any particular moment. And as we’ve discussed – which I am aware that most of you don’t actually understand yet, but you will – when you are self-aware and present, you have foresight, not only hindsight. You can see ahead of you, rather than only seeing behind you. And that gives you much greater power because in that, then you are doing what? Living life intentionally.
And that’s what all of you want to do, live your lives intentionally. You don’t want to be uncomfortable. You don’t want to move in habits that are not benefitting you. You don’t want to be victims. You don’t want to be subject to outside sources. You want to be self-directing. You want to be living life intentionally, in which you WILL create what you want – but what you genuinely want, not simply what you think you want at any given point.
And wanting things is very natural. The more content, the more satisfied, the happier you are, the more you create more of everything you want. That’s how consciousness works. That’s natural. And when you are less self-aware, when you don’t know what you’re doing, when you’re not being present, likely the more you move in directions in which you want many things, or you think you want things that you think are going to make you happy or you think are going to make your life easier.
MARK: How do you determine the difference between a genuine want and a thinking want?
ELIAS: Only wants, not desire, correct?
MARK: You said that—
ELIAS: I know, but I’m asking you. Are you expressing the question in relation to only wants and not desire?
MARK: Um, now that you’re elaborating (group laughter), I don’t know the answer to that. Honestly, I…
YVONNE: What is the difference between want and desire?
ELIAS: Desire is, once again, the engine that drives you. Desire is, in a manner of speaking, you as essence driving you. Therefore—
MARK: So is that the difference?
ELIAS: — you as essence… (To Mark) No. But YOU do. YOU make a distinction. YOU see a difference, because you separate.
You as essence don’t think. You don’t use your thought mechanism as essence. You act. Therefore, as essence, your desire is the genuine expression and energy of you in a particular focus, in any given focus. That’s the part of you that is naturally the essence of you. And that part of you doesn’t think, it drives you. It’s your engine. It drives you all the time. But that part of you doesn’t distinguish between comfortable or uncomfortable. It doesn’t distinguish between good or bad. As essence, you don’t distinguish between good or bad, not even right or wrong.
As an individual, you likely think that lying is wrong. As essence, it doesn’t matter. If lying will move you in a direction that is genuinely to your greatest benefit, then you’ll do it, because there’s no right or wrong about it in relation to you as essence and that desire.
Therefore, let us say that your desire is to be expressing your independent freedom. And let us say that you are involved in a family or a relationship that stifles you and that not only doesn’t encourage you in your independent freedom, but that hinders that. And at some point, you might express to your partner or to your family, “I’ve decided to go away to another state to engage a specialty school that interests me.”
Now; that might be what you would consider an absolute lie, that you have no intention of going to any school and that you don’t even know of any school that you would go to, and that you don’t have any idea where you’re going to go. You simply are expressing in a manner that will give you an excuse to move in a direction that you want to move in, and move away from what you feel stuck in.
As essence, it doesn’t matter. That is giving you an avenue in which you can move in a direction that you can begin to express your freedom. How you get there doesn’t matter. The fact that you get there is what matters.
Therefore, the difference between a want, a want is something that you think of that either is something that you don’t have and it’s springing from the perception of not enough, either that or if you are content and happy and satisfied in your life, a want can be something that’s more of what you already enjoy, or something that is more of what you already have but that expands you.
ANN: Can a want ever go against our desire? Or be opposite of our desire?
ELIAS: Very much so. Yes. Often.
DENISE: Why didn’t you channel (inaudible)
ELIAS: Often wants can be contrary to your desire, and that’s usually the reason that you don’t materialize them.
ANN: Oh, interesting.
PETER: So if desire’s intent is the engine, desire’s the engine as he’s expressing, is intent the direction?
ELIAS: That is an excellent description because yes, they move as hand-in-glove. Therefore it’s important that people do define what their intent is in a particular focus because their desire is going to very closely move with that. They don’t generally move in opposition to each other.
But in that also, if you are aware of your intent, then you can more clearly see what your desire is, what that engine is that’s driving you. You can see different directions that you move in. You can look at your life and see different times in your life that may have been difficult, may have been very uncomfortable, may have been very challenging, but at some point you can look at that and you can see how it moved you in a different direction to accomplish something.
Now; the more self-aware you become, you don’t have to simply look back at your life and your experiences to find what your desire has moved you through or in, but you can look at now and you can look forward and you can see how your desire is influencing you and moving you in a direction that is to your greatest benefit.
And in that, let me also say to you that when you ARE being present and you ARE being self-directing, then you can see how your desire doesn’t only move you in a direction of what you need. It moves you in directions that are fun and that you want, because your wants change to more match your desire. Your wants begin to move in a direction in which they are expanding what you already have, what you already know, but moving in greater directions of expanding what you know, expanding your awareness, expanding everything about you AND moving in fun directions. Things that are exciting. Things that are interesting. Things that are fun. Things that you share.
This all changes your life from surviving to thriving. From moving in what you have to do to moving into what you love to do. From moving in what is expected to what is exciting. It changes your direction tremendously. And this is what you all want to do anyway. This is what you speak about. This is what you want, is to be more intentional, is to create what you want.
There are countless individuals that engage conversations with myself and have for years and years and years, about wanting more money. This is one of the—
ANN: Big ones.
ELIAS: — most common subjects. Wanting more money. Wanting windfalls. Wanting, yes, explosions of money.
DENISE: Winning lotteries!
ELIAS: Winning lottery tickets. Wanting to be wealthy.
Now; if individuals would stop and think about why do you want that, what is it that’s driving you in that direction? Why are you compelled in that direction? What is it that you, what you want? What is your desire?
DENISE: What are you going to do with the money?
ELIAS: Yes. What WILL you do with it?
ANN: Oh, I have lots of plans. (Laughs)
ELIAS: What will you do with it that you can’t do now?
DENISE: Start a magic school.
ELIAS: Why can’t you do that now?
DENISE: Money.
ELIAS: Why?
DENISE: (Laughs) You asked.
ELIAS: And you didn’t answer.
ANN: You could do it now.
JOHN: Yeah, you could.
ANN: We could do it. If we just moved forward towards whatever, the money comes.
LYNDA: It’s called Z-O-O-M.
ANN: I know.
DENISE: What?
LYNDA: Zoom.
ANN: If it matches your desire, now I’m figuring out. If it doesn’t match your desire, you may go broke. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Actually, what I would say is that that’s an excellent question: what would you do with the money if you had it? If you HAD the windfall, if you WON the lottery, if you HAD an inheritance from some unknown relative and they’ve left you millions of dollars, what would you do with that money? And you can generate a long list of what you think you could do with that money. And why would that make you happy? And what is it—
ANN: Because you think it’s giving you freedom, is what you think.
ELIAS: You THINK (inaudible).
ANN: I know. I know.
ELIAS: And in that, put yourself in that position. Create an experiential visualization. Put yourself in that position. Genuinely attempt to do that. And then express, “If I’m experiencing this, what is it that is so compelling to me?” (To John/Lonn) “I want a boat,” but did you—
ANN: (To John) You can’t relate, can you?
ELIAS: But in that, you want a boat. And I’m not expressing that the boat hasn’t been fulfilling to you in some capacities. But did you anticipate the conflict that you would have with the boat? Did you anticipate—
DENISE: Oh, I thought he was going to say “Ann.” (Laughs)
ANN: We have no conflict over the boat, do we Baby?
MARK: What about all the stress and heart attacks that come with that?
ANN: Woah.
ELIAS: And all—
ANN: And stress.
ELIAS: But this is simply one example. There are many people that have boats that don’t have any conflict with it, but there are, this is an example of “I want this” and not necessarily anticipating what is going to come along with that choice: “I made this choice to acquire this boat, and now I have this boat and it is costing me a lot of money and it’s also costing me a lot of friction between myself and my partner.”
ANN: What? (Elias laughs) (To John) I swear to God I did not pay Elias off. (Group laughter and chatter)
ELIAS: This is one example. There are many, many, many, many examples in which a person may want something and they don’t actually realize how that thing that they may get, that they may give themself, they don’t actually realize what is going to come with that, because they are not forward viewing. You’re not looking at the situation with foresight, because you don’t have that self-awareness yet. But if you did, you would have that foresight and therefore you wouldn’t have the conflict because – that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t get the boat. It simply means you might get the boat and get a different boat, and you might engage with the boat differently than you did. And in that, then that may have quelled the conflict and the dissonance that ensued with that subject.
It doesn’t mean that you would necessarily entirely alter the choice that you make, that if you want something, that you can’t have it. No. It doesn’t mean that at all, but that when you are more self-aware, and you are more aware of your intent and your desire, then you are making choices in a different capacity. And in that, you can see how to maneuver yourself in those choices, to be more comfortable and to be more content. Because the point is, when you are more self-aware, you are more satisfied and content and therefore you will create more of that. You will be more content and more satisfied, make more money, have more things that you want. And those things that you want, it won’t matter how much money they cost because you will be moving in those directions of making more, because that’s what you do.
Yes?
JOHN: I have a quick – well, it’s sort of a personal question, but I think it’s going to apply to a lot of people.
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: I mean, I walk around most days relatively self-satisfied. I mean it’s… and I feel like, you know… It’s maybe what I do is identify areas I can optimize or whatever.
ELIAS: Precisely.
JOHN: And I feel like I’m… I don’t know. I’m listening to all of this. I mean, I was not present in the very beginning. There’s a ton of people and now I’m acclimated. Now I’m present. I don’t know. I’m listening to all of this and I feel like am I missing something? Am I—
ELIAS: No! You’re doing some of it. You’re doing a lot of it. What I would say to you, my friend—
JOHN: I’m sure I’m missing something.
ELIAS: No. You aren’t.
DENISE: Don’t doubt yourself.
JOHN: Okay.
ELIAS: You are doing a lot more of it. I would say to you very genuinely, two years ago, two and a half years ago, think about your job. This is a big piece with you. Before you engaged your present job, you and I had many conversations about it not working, about you wanting a particular type of job that would be engaging, that would pay you well, that there was room for expansion—
JOHN: I’ve gone in different sort of career directions over the past… well, somewhat different, over the past many years. And I left what I had been doing and then—
ELIAS: And—
JOHN: — talking to Elias about what next.
ELIAS: Yes. And kept engaging resumes and kept engaging different jobs, applying for different jobs, not getting those different jobs, being frustrated. And then something changed, and you began to understand how to be more directing.
DENISE: What changed?
JOHN: Well, I was going to ask him that.
ELIAS: You became more self-directing. You listened. I kept expressing, “You be the interviewer. You now move in the direction.”
JOHN: There was that and then there’s, you know, well technically… I do biweekly sessions, right? And you’ve become sort of my coach for a lot of different… So there’s a wide variety of topics, but one thing you told me that I find has resonated a lot is, you said this to me years ago, “But did you actually go back and listen to the recording?” And I actually listened. But I find that when I listen to it, I get more and more and more layers out of it. And even maybe a couple of months into the future, you’re referring to something that I understand now that I didn’t understand then.
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: You’re even using specific words that make total sense—
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: — and that fit exactly. And yeah. (Inaudible)
ELIAS: That is also a significant piece, is are you listening? And that is definitely a significant piece, because many, many, many individuals engage conversation with myself and they’re thinking while I’m speaking. They’re not listening. They think they’re listening. Once again, the difference between what you’re actually doing and what you think you’re doing. They think they’re listening, but then they would be hard-pressed to actually express what I was talking to them about after our conversation, unless they listen to it again. In that, they’re busy in their head while they’re supposedly listening to what I’m saying, and—
JOHN: Now to put subtlety on that, you have instructed me even as recently as our last session to think while I listen. Right? Remember?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes. (Group laughter) And that is an excellent point.
JOHN: I’m not trying to… Yeah.
ELIAS: I know. I know. (Group laughter and chatter)
I understand. Because in that, there’s a difference. There’s a difference between thinking and being scattered. Thinking about what you’re going to do after our conversation or thinking about what happened yesterday or thinking about what this other individual said in a meeting. There’s a difference between that type of thinking and being scattered and not paying attention, and paying attention but then not evaluating, not using your thought mechanism to process that new information and to actually understand and to use your intellect that you have. In that, that’s a different type of thinking. And in that, yes, for a significant time I was encouraging you to stop thinking about everything else, pay attention to what we were discussing. And now, there are times that you have a tendency to discount yourself and you be— you move into this loop, discounting yourself and it isn’t always reasonable, and if you stop and allow yourself to think about what you’re saying or what you’re questioning, you’d stop. You would realize simply by stopping yourself, “Oh, this isn’t true. Oh, that doesn’t matter.”
JOHN: There is a… You know, as a musician or if you’re teaching other people, there’s a certain… There’s a certain point at which people who are learning to play whatever it is, whether they’re playing guitar or piano or name the instrument, where they start to hear themselves as they play.
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: I think that’s probably something like what you’re talking about.
ELIAS: Yes. Yes.
JOHN: Okay. Yeah.
ELIAS: That is all – that’s an excellent example also, because that’s an excellent example of an analogy of being more self-aware. That you’re—
DENISE: You’re not thinking about the next note.
ELIAS: No.
DENISE: The next line. You are—
ELIAS: You are paying attention to what you’re doing in the moment and being present, but you’re also being very aware of what you’re doing and what you’re creating.
JOHN: And you have the foresight to turn the page, because—
ELIAS: Yes. And it becomes very easy and automatic. You don’t have to move in a direction of analyzing it. It flows.
ANN: If you’re using your imagination, can you do that and be present?
ELIAS: Yes. Imagination is—
ANN: So what if you’re imagining creating something in the future? Is that being present still?
ELIAS: It can be.
ANN: Okay.
ELIAS: It can be. It may not always be. But—
YVONNE: Not when you’re talking to Elias.
ELIAS: Yes. (Group laughter) It can be, if it has to do with being present and if it’s following your desire, because then you ARE moving in a direction of more, of what you don’t necessarily have yet but you’re moving in that direction. But there’s a difference between that and not enough.
ANN: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And can you tell the difference sometimes by how you feel? Ah! Speaking of following feelings, I know, what you— Okay, so sometimes like I will imagine, like if I want, I will imagine something to create the feeling. Like I just want to feel relaxed—
ELIAS: Ah. That’s (inaudible)
ANN: (Inaudible) in the ocean.
ELIAS: I have expressed that as being intentional and that’s—
ANN: Because I am using my feeling, I’m using imagination to create a feeling.
ELIAS: To create the feeling. Yes.
ANN: Yeah.
ELIAS: Yes.
MARK: I’d like to go back on my original question. My question was: how do you determine the difference between a genuine want and what I think I want? I’m going to make a statement. I just want to, agree with me or disagree, an elaboration on desire is not a player (inaudible). Correct?
ELIAS: Repeat.
MARK: You asked me about desire when I asked that question. Then you went on to a whole thing about desire, so I’m taking desire out of it.
ELIAS: Very well.
MARK: All right? So I’m saying for me, personally, how to determine the difference between a genuine want, what I think I want, what I think I’m hearing from you—
ELIAS: But you can’t. You can’t divorce desire entirely from that.
MARK: Okay. All right. That’s fine. That’s fine.
ELIAS: Because—
MARK: I understand.
ELIAS: — a genuine want—
MARK: Has got desire in it.
ELIAS: — is going to be connected with your desire.
MARK: So what I’m hearing from you is, is that potentially the answer is if you get to a level of awareness and you have foresight and you can determine specifically the difference between what I think I want and what is… what I genuinely want, because I can actually see the potential outcome and the benefit to myself.
ELIAS: Yes.
MARK: And that comes with self-awareness.
ELIAS: Yes.
PETER: Don’t you just get a different feeling?
ELIAS: Definitely. No, no, no, no. And that’s what you were about to say. No. A feeling is a signal. I cannot emphasize that strongly enough. A feeling is a signal. It doesn’t matter what the feeling is, it’s a signal. And the reason, the reason that you have that signal, that feeling, is because there’s something that you’re doing that you’re not entirely aware of.
ANN: So then when I was talking about relaxing, if I want to relax, that’s an emotion, not a signal? Because if I’m aware of it…
ELIAS: You can intentionally create a feeling.
DENISE: But it’s still telling you what you’re doing.
ELIAS: That… It is. It’s still a signal about what you’re doing.
Now; in that, you CAN create intentionally a feeling.
Now; that’s different from: wouldn’t a feeling tell you the difference between a want and a genuine want? No. Because automatically a feeling is alerting you to something that you’re not entirely aware of.
Now; if you are creating a feeling intentionally, that’s different. But you wouldn’t be creating a feeling intentionally in that scenario, because you wouldn’t know what feeling to create in that scenario. Therefore in that, no, a feeling would not be something that would be alerting you to the difference between a genuine want and something you think you want. And that actually can be also very misleading, because feelings generally do move into play in relation to something that you think you want.
Sometimes they move into play with something that you genuinely want, but you’ll know the difference with those feelings because the feeling in relation to something that is related to your desire is an expansion and therefore you will likely feel comfortable or you might feel giddy.
Now; with a feeling that is associated with something that you think you want – and let me qualify here. Something that you think you want, as you become more self-aware, it may still be something that you want. That’s what I was expressing previously, that sometimes what you want, you’re still going to make that choice when you ARE self-aware. It’s simply that how you make that choice will likely be different, but not what you’re choosing. You still might want the boat, but how you move in the direction of it may be different, and how you engage it may be different.
But in that, the feeling that generally accompanies something that you think you want is going to be more intense. You’re going to feel it stronger because you don’t have it. Therefore, it’s something that you’re trying to grasp, you’re trying to pull to you, and therefore the intensity of the want will be much stronger. And in that, it’ll be a different type of intensity. It won’t be a giddiness. It won’t be something that’s light and comfortable. It will be something more heavy. That “I have to have this. I need this.” And it’s being driven by not enough, what you don’t have and what you can’t grasp yet. And therefore, it’s very similar to being on a carrousel and riding around in the circle over and over and over again, attempting to grab that brass ring, and you pass it every time. And each time you pass it, you’re more desperate to grab it. That’s the difference.
In this, when you are more self-aware, you can be on that same carrousel and you will go around once and you’ll grab that ring.
PETER: So I don’t generally want things, but I do want more money because, and I know it’s because of fear. It’s fear of not enough. It’s all of this. But it’s there and I can work on it. I work on it but it’s there and it is deep and—
ELIAS: And in that deepness, what drives it? What is, what are you afraid of?
PETER: Fear of not enough.
ELIAS: And what will happen?
PETER: Fear of lack.
ELIAS: But what will happen? What does it mean?
PETER: Well, part of it is, it’s my beliefs about responsibility, especially responsibility. I’m responsible for my children and my wife and all that sort of stuff. Part of it is the mindset of expressional beliefs about what I think is my role and all those sorts of things. I mean, it’s I guess more like responsibility. (Inaudible)
ELIAS: But let me say to you first of all, this is part of it, is how you’re expressing all of this. “I see the fear of responsibility, that is associated with responsibility and taking care of my wife and my children” and bla-bla-bla-bla-bla. All that bla-bla-bla-bla-bla is all part of it. Looking at each one of those statements and evaluating: what isn’t enough about that now? What am I doing that isn’t enough in my responsibility now? How am not being responsible enough now?
PETER: See, that’s the thing. I’ll go through that (inaudible).
ELIAS: And then it’s a matter of habit. Then it’s a matter of going through that, almost on a daily basis or perhaps two or three times a day, and reminding yourself, “This is a habit that I have become very accustomed to. It’s not true.” And reminding yourself over and over. The reason being, you’ve repeated that to make that habit countless times. How you undo that is you start repeatedly expressing the opposite and reminding yourself, “This isn’t true.”
The more you keep moving in the direction of the bla-bla-bla, “I know what it is, bla-bla-bla,” what you’re doing is reinforcing it. You are reinforcing all of those expressions that you’re telling yourself. “I know this is not true. I know this is incorrect,” but you’re telling yourself with the bla-bla-bla, “Yes, it is.”
JOHN: Translate “bla-bla-bla.”
ELIAS: It is the “I’m responsible for my wife. I’m responsible for my children. I’m not going to have enough. I’m going to be destitute,” and so on and so forth. And simply expressing that to yourself but not telling yourself it’s not true and moving in that direction, to reinforce that you believe that that’s not true, it simply reinforces the other, that yes, it is true. And you keep feeling that.
The feeling is signaling you. Every time you have the feeling, that’s the moment that you can express to yourself, “No, that’s not true. I don’t believe that any longer. It’s not true.” But to also reinforce that to yourself several times a day, until you move to the point in which you believe it’s not true. Because right now you believe it is true, and that’s why you keep having the feeling. But the feeling will eventually go away when you eventually do believe that it isn’t true. And the only thing that makes something true or not true in those, in these, all these situations, is how much you reinforce it to yourself. That’s what makes you believe it.
You only believe certain things because you’ve heard it so many times, or you’ve told yourself that so many times. And in that, it doesn’t matter. You likely didn’t believe that to begin with, when you were younger, but then you’ve had that reinforced so many times that now you do believe it. That’s how you change it, by reinforcing the opposite so many times.
It genuinely is that simple, because that’s what habits are. They’re simply things that you do repeatedly, that you’ve done so many times repeatedly that it becomes automatic, and that you don’t think about it any longer. You simply do it.
Yes?
CHRIS (XAVIER): In our discussion today, you’ve kind of been intimating the intensity of feeling, right? So and that’s in desire and want. What about when you move to the stage of what you’re manifesting and you know, “That is what I want”? Then we as our current state, then transition into a timeframe, right? So how is that in relation to feeling of its conversion from that energetic existence to its physical existence?
ELIAS: If you ARE aware, if it IS moving in relation to your desire, you likely won’t have a feeling because you already know. Therefore, you don’t need a feeling. You don’t need a signal to alert you to something that you’re not aware of. Therefore, you likely won’t have one.
As to the time element, everything has an element of timing. As to what would be the time differential between the want and the materialization of the want, the energetic expression and then it manifesting in your reality, that would depend on the situation, because it depends on a timing factor. Now you’re moving in the direction of your desire manifesting. And in relation to timing, that essential part of you, that essence part of you, will determine all the factors involved. This is the piece about being more aware in foresight.
Now; in that, you may not see everything. You may not have the foresight to see everything involved in a particular choice, but you can see enough. But that essence part of you does see all of the implications of this choice, and therefore also sees what the optimal timing would be.
Now; in that, what you will know objectively is you’ll have an awareness that this choice will either manifest relatively quickly, meaning within a few days, let us say, or you will have an awareness that this choice is not necessarily going to manifest right now but it will manifest and you have no doubt about it, and it will relatively quickly. Which might mean a week, a month, two months, but relatively quickly. And you’ll have no doubts about that and you’ll be comfortable with it. Therefore it’s not something that you’ll feel you have to push with. And in that, once again, you’ll likely not have a feeling in relation to it, because it’s not necessary.
ANN: You had said earlier with thought people, they’re not even sure if they’re having a feeling.
ELIAS: Sometimes.
ANN: Sometimes. And emotionals? What did you say? Not sure when they’re following a feeling. So what about religious and political? What are their challenges with feelings?
ELIAS: Religious would be very similar to emotional.
ANN: Not sure when they’re following a feeling?
ELIAS: Correct.
Now; with politically-focused individuals, that adds another layer (group laughter), because they are including everything in their environment and everything around them and the people around them. And therefore that adds another component in relation to the people that are around them, what’s happening in their world at the time, what’s happening in their immediate environment. They’re not – when I say what’s happening in their world, I don’t mean the entire world, I mean what’s happening in their world.
And in that, it’s still a matter of being present and being self-aware, and therefore paying attention to you and knowing what you’re doing. They do process in relation to their environment, but that’s also part of what is a benefit to them, is part of their environment. Therefore they would have more of an ability to see through their environment and what’s happening around them. Not that they can anticipate what other people will do or what their choices will be, because that’s a matter of whatever other people choose. But that they can sense, let us say, the atmosphere around them. They can generate a general sense of what that atmosphere is and they, being the center of it, being the most important part of it. And therefore, looking at that in a capacity of being aware that whatever they’re doing is going to be influencing everything around them.
A thought-focused individual is not likely to be thinking about everything around them. An emotionally-focused individual also isn’t tremendously likely to be thinking about that either. They’re going to be thinking about themselves and what they’re feeling.
But a politically-focused individual is going to think about everything around them. And therefore the more self-aware they are, the more they become aware that whatever they are doing is affecting everything around them. That holds true for all of you, but you’ll do it in different manners. You each do it in your own direction in relation to how you process information.
ANN: Do politically-focused people have a hard time knowing when they’re having a feeling?
ELIAS: No. Generally not.
MARK: (Laughs) Absolutely not.
ANN: But thoughts? Sometimes.
ELIAS: Thought individuals sometimes do, yes.
ANN: All right.
ELIAS: We shall break.
GROUP: Thank you, Elias. Thank you.
[Break occurs after 1 hour 14 minutes]
ELIAS: Continuing.
Yes?
JOHN (RRUSSELL): All right. Complements, because I know we were going to talk about complements.
ELIAS: Yes, complements.
JOHN (RRUSSELL): So I know that John in Oregon, John/Arry, I’ve been liking his sessions a lot and predominately lately, and I think there’s a couple of others too that talk about complements in their sessions. And so the way I would describe a complement, and it’s not necessarily like you said in the beginning, a romantic complement, it’s you know your flow and the complement enhances your flow, and then on a day-to-day “this is what I do during the day” level. And it’s almost like there is this spectrum of somebody who’s going to be super-complementary in certain ways, and that might be like a partnership or like a romantic partnership. And then you have different aspects of your lives, maybe it’s a good complement who is a colleague, right, or something else that you do. That might be specific to an occasion or something you do. (Inaudible)
ELIAS: Yes. I would agree. Yes. With friendships, most of the time the friendships that you develop that are more intimate, closer, are with people that generate a significant complement to you, generally that you have something significant in common with. But then, you’re correct, you have gradations of that, of differences in relation to the complements with different types of relationships. Work relationships, you might have a complement with people in a certain capacity. Just as with friendships you might have a friend that you know is a good listener. Therefore when you require someone to listen to you, that you want to vent to or you want to process something with, you choose that friend because they listen well. You may have another friend that doesn’t listen well, but they are fun. And therefore if you want to simply have fun, you go to them.
Therefore in that, you’re somewhat, in a manner of speaking, compartmentalizing with different relationships, but that’s actually very advantageous because that is healthy. When you move in a direction of attempting to find all of the different expressions that you require or that you value in another individual, when you’re trying to fit that into one person, you’re going to be very disappointed because no one person can fulfill all of things that are important to you. Therefore if you have different friends that have different complementary expressions to yourself, that’s healthy because then you can fulfill all of your expressed needs, so to speak, with different individuals. And that allows you to express yourself in many different capacities and be satisfied with how you are expressing yourself.
Now; that also I will say is a component that will significantly affect whether an individual feels lonely. You likely won’t feel lonely if you do have many different friends that you can engage at different times in different capacities. Therefore when you feel alone, if you are evaluating how you feel alone or why you feel alone, you can engage a particular individual that has a complementary energy to you in a certain manner that will fulfill that want, let us say, or you might think of it as a need, that is allowing you to not feel alone and to not feel lonely.
Now; there are – alone and lonely are two different expressions. And in that, alone is what you feel when you feel more isolated, that you, you’re experiencing something that you automatically are thinking that you’re the only person that’s experiencing this. No one else would understand and this is something very personal to you and therefore you might feel alone in your experience. And this is something that I would say to all of you again, that you’re never alone, ever. That you’re always surrounded by other people, by other essences. You’re never alone. And in that, when you feel alone, that is an excellent time for you to reach out to your network of friends because they can reinforce you and be very complementary and helpful to you, to not feel alone.
Now; lonely is different. This comes from again, not enough. This comes from the perception that you don’t have something that you need, that you don’t have something that is going to fulfill you. And that is definitely something that comes from that perception of not enough, which is the same as lack.
In this, this expression of not enough is sometimes very overt, sometimes very insidious. And that sometimes people don’t actually recognize that this is a part of not enough or that what they’re experiencing may be not enough, and they’re not thinking in those terms. Just as in relation to following feelings, sometimes people don’t recognize that they’re following feelings because they’re not recognizing that, how they’re addressing to a particular feeling is with another feeling. Or how they’re thinking about a feeling is with another feeling, and therefore they’re not actually out of that direction.
DENISE: How do you think about a feeling with a feeling?
ELIAS: When you have a feeling and you think you’re moving in the direction of identifying what the statement is or what you’re doing, but you’re actually explaining the feeling, you’re addressing the feeling with another feeling.
ANN: Like when you’re making excuses, that would be a clue that—
ELIAS: That would be, but it isn’t necessarily even making excuses. That’s more obvious. Sometimes the person is explaining the feeling and they’re including other feelings in the explanation. What is important to remember is the statement about what you’re doing in the moment is a statement. It’s not an explanation. It’s a very concise, short statement: “I’m not being present,” “I’m personalizing.” It… They are very short, concise statements about what you’re doing in the moment. It’s not an explanation. It’s not going to be, “Well, I’m doing this because of this and this, and then this happened and then this came into play, and then that’s when I went in this direction.” This is all explaining the initial feeling, but then the person is including many other feelings also that are attempting to explain the initial feeling, which all that’s doing is moving in more feelings and more feelings and following all the feelings.
In this, I would say that that is very similar to moving in directions in which people are expressing that they are feeling lonely, and then they are thinking of what will fix that, what will move in a direction in which that will be satisfied and they won’t be feeling lonely. But that’s very vague, because usually it’s that the person is thinking about that and thinking about a criteria list of someone else. But they don’t know that person. They’re simply thinking of a criteria list of another person, that that will fulfill what they’re lacking, what is not enough in their lives already. And in that, that will fix it and make them feel better, and make them feel different and then they won’t feel lonely any longer. But that’s, as I expressed, it’s very vague because even if you have a criteria list, you don’t have the person that fits that criteria list and therefore you don’t actually have a solution. You simply have a vague idea that if I have another person in my life I won’t feel lonely, but that’s not necessarily true.
Yes?
DENISE: And the criteria list is things we… Like oh, I wish I knew someone who would do this thing with me that I like. And what you’re going to tell us is how the complements aren’t going to be what you like. They’re similar to you?
ELIAS: They might be, some. Some may be. Usually there are some expressions that are similar to you, but many expressions of the other person that is a complement to you are not necessarily the same as you, and may not be even similar. They’re different and that’s how it complements you, because it enhances you, (to John/Rrussell) as you said. In that, whatever it is that you’re doing or that is important to you, the other individual adds a richness to that. They add a flow to that that allows you to flow and allows them to flow with you, and vice-versa. That you also must be a complement to them. It can’t function properly if it’s only one direction. It’s a matter of both moving in those directions of being complements to each other.
And in that, as I expressed, if something is important to you and you’re moving in a certain direction, then the other individual might think of things you don’t think of, might add to whatever you’re doing in suggestions that make whatever you’re doing better or easier. They enhance what you are doing.
I’ve given the example many times of an individual that may be a complement to someone that’s very different. That perhaps one individual enjoys dancing and they very much want to be moving and dancing frequently, and they like to go outside the home and be in a public arena in which they’re dancing and they like to dance with different partners. And a complement to that individual may not necessarily be someone who likes to dance. It may be someone who likes to watch dancing, but doesn’t want to do it. And therefore they can go with the individual, be satisfied and happy to be observing and watching the partner dancing with many different people. And the individual that’s dancing can come and meet their partner at their table and they can exchange a few expressions about the dancing, and perhaps the individual that is watching might say, “If you do this, it will be more effective.”
In this, it can be that complements can almost be opposites. And in that, let me express that genuinely and for the most part, most people may have complementary relationships with each other that may be opposites in a few capacities, or even one or two. Generally, they don’t express a complement if many things or everything is an opposite. That’s very rare, that individuals will draw themselves to each other if they’re very opposite. Because you – in like manner to all creatures, that’s something you also share – you gather together in like kind.
ANN: Birds of a feather.
ELIAS: Yes, very much so, that you do seek out and draw yourselves to other individuals that are similar to yourselves, therefore that have significant similarities and move in significant similar directions, and have similar importances, you generally don’t engage with individuals that are complete opposites to yourselves.
But in that, such as the adage of “A bird can love a fish, but where will they make a home?” (Group laughter) And in that, I would say that what is very important about complements is that – this is also something that’s very important to most of you – you have relationships or you want a relationship and you want a relationship that’s going to be enduring. You don’t want a relationship that’s going to be fleeting. Therefore, that’s the reason that this subject is very important, because this is what creates a lasting, enduring relationship between individuals. If you don’t engage a complement, then you’re not likely to express a lasting relationship. Which is also the reason that so many individuals in your present time framework don’t engage lasting relationships. They change partners frequently, or they stop changing partners because they lose faith, in a manner of speaking, in their ability to draw to themselves a suitable partner that will be in an enduring relationship.
Now; the other part of that is recognizing that a complement to you is, for many, many, many of you – not everyone, but I would say most individuals – are reflections of your parents. These are NOT complements to you. Most individuals, as I have expressed in our trauma sessions, in the time framework since your second world war, many, many, many, many individuals throughout the world, not only in your country, have varying degrees of trauma in their lives.
Now; this doesn’t apply to everyone, because not everyone has trauma in their life, but many individuals do. And what they do is they automatically seek out or are drawn to other individuals that will reflect something in their parents. Because your parents are the most influential people in your lives, from the moment you are born until the moment you die. They are the most constant and the most influential, regardless of whether you have a relationship with them. Because some people don’t, but it doesn’t matter. Or regardless of whether they’re still alive, because some of them might not be. They may be dead. They may have died when you were young. It doesn’t matter. They’re still going to be the most influential individuals in your lives.
Let me express to you very genuinely – and I have expressed this previously, and it is very definite – even an individual that is adopted at birth, they have traits and mannerisms and influences from their biological parents, whether they’ve ever met them or not. Therefore, in that—
ANN: Is that their DNA?
ELIAS: No. It’s energy.
ANN: Oh, energy.
ELIAS: And what I would say is that those individuals have two sets of parents that are influencing of them very strongly.
Now; in that, you may have parents that are loving and giving and that have been nurturing and that you don’t necessarily have any expression of trauma in your life. And in that, it still may be challenging to find another individual that is a complement to you, because you’re not accustomed to doing that. You’re accustomed to having a criteria list of all the things you want the other person to be. But there are many people – you’re not “lucky” – that you automatically draw to you another individual who is a complement. And the reason being that you don’t necessarily have trauma in your life to a significant degree and therefore you may have already addressed to whatever issues you may have carried with you, and eventually you may actually automatically move in a direction of drawing a partner to yourself that is a complement, and you don’t have to think about it and you don’t have to be thinking about complements or what is not a criteria list. It will automatically happen.
And there are some examples of that, but I would say that for most individuals it is something that is significant to consider. And there is another complement in this company. And I would say that what is significant first of all is to evaluate. Some people don’t have trauma from childhood. Some people have trauma later. But if you have trauma, what is important is to look at the source of that trauma and not to draw yourself to the same type of individuals. Which can be somewhat tricky, because it’s something you don’t think about. It’s something that happens automatically.
What I would say to most of you is: don’t look for fireworks. Everyone looks for fireworks. Everyone wants those explosions, that love at first sight that creates that romantic explosion of fireworks. Don’t look for that. That may happen later. You may have that explosion of fireworks and that tremendous romance later, but you might not have it immediately or initially. And if you do, if you have any trauma in your life, run away. (Group laughter)
LYNDA: Run like a bunny.
ELIAS: Because you’re automatically being drawn to individuals that are not complements to you and that are generally going to move in directions in which you are simply going to emulate your parents or other individuals that have been significant in your life that have moved in directions that are not a complement to you and not a benefit to you. And in that, you suffer for it.
Therefore, this is the reason that complements are so important, that you understand what they are, that you understand that you draw to yourself a complement or you put yourself in the path of a complement when you are paying more attention to you. When you’re so busy looking outside of yourself, you won’t draw that to yourself.
Yes?
YVONNE: I was going to ask in relation to trauma, so if it’s trauma that is eventually addressed—
ELIAS: Yes.
YVONNE: Is that something that one still needs to think about with the fireworks, for example? Or would that, you would just be in that case more likely to encounter an individual without thinking about it that’s a complement?
ELIAS: If you’ve genuinely addressed to any trauma that you have had, you might, if you have genuinely addressed that and moved in a direction that that’s not an issue any longer. You might actually draw someone that is fireworks, or you might not draw the fireworks but you might automatically without thinking about it place yourself in the path of a complement, and not even be addressing to that or thinking about it or evaluating anything about it. It simply will happen. And, AND it’s generally something you’re not thinking about, something you’re not looking for.
That’s the reason that you might hear that phrase very frequently of “You’ll find someone when you are not looking for them.” That actually holds true more than you realize, because when you’re not looking for a partner is when you ARE paying attention to you and you will draw that person to yourself. And you will automatically move in that direction.
And it depends on the individual. It depends on the familiarity of the individual. Sometimes you move in a very unfamiliar direction with a new individual and you might not have the fireworks because it’s new and different and unusual to what you are accustomed to, but you’ll have a strong draw and you’ll be comfortable. And you won’t have to try. And what’s even more important, you won’t be thinking about what the other individual needs to do to be different in anything. They don’t need to do anything different. They simply need to be themselves and you’re satisfied with that.
I would say to you that I have engaged individuals that have actually encountered genuine complements that have expressed actions as significant as smoking with a non-smoker, and the non-smoker isn’t bothered and it doesn’t even matter to them. Because the complement overrides anything that is a difference that might be a significant difference in someone else, but if the two are genuinely complementary to each other, even something that severe – which for most people, that is something that it would be a severe thing, and they may say that would be, in your terminology, a deal-breaker. But it might not be and it might not even be important, if they’re genuinely complements in most everything else.
DENISE: So you would overlook that, having that as a criteria, deal-breaking on your criteria list?
ELIAS: On your criteria list, yes. But if was actually a complement, it might not bother you and it might become something that is entirely insignificant. And you think to yourself, “How could that possibly be so?” but everything is a matter of perception. And your perception operates in severity or in strength in relation to anything you make important. Therefore if you don’t make something important, if something isn’t important any longer to you, even if it WAS important to you before, your perception will change.
And understand: this is so specific in relation to complements, that let us use that example of smoking and in that, the individual may be repelled by anyone else that is a smoker, but not their partner. It’s that specific. (Group chatter)
Yes?
JOHN (RRUSSELL): How often do people meet a strong complement and don’t recognize it and don’t pursue anything?
ELIAS: That actually happens frequently, because—
KAREN: What did you say again?
JOHN: Oh sorry. So I asked how often do… How did I ask again?
DENISE: How often do people meet a complement and not—
JOHN: And not sort of, yeah, exactly.
ELIAS: It actually happens considerably frequently.
JOHN: Interesting.
ELIAS: Because—
DENISE: You write them off because of your criteria list.
ELIAS: Yes. And also because of what you know and what you’re automatically drawn to. Therefore if you don’t address to a trauma and you have trauma, or if you have issues and you haven’t addressed to them, and you draw yourself to an actual complement, you likely won’t notice them. You won’t be drawn to them because you’re looking for and you’re drawn to dysfunction.
ANN: So, I have a question. When you said – it’s just a curiousity question – that even if kids were adopted, at birth, their parents can influence them and it’s an energetic connection. What’s the difference between the energy of let’s say a parent or let’s say the energy of an aunt or uncle or a good friend? Why is the parent energy more influencing, even if somebody else has spent more time around them? Is it a belief, because of a belief we have about that connection?
ELIAS: It’s not necessarily that they’re more influencing in those situations, but they are equally as influencing.
ANN: So an aunt or uncle could also be influencing?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes, if they are a predominant factor in the individual’s life.
ANN: And so the predominance in an adopted parent would be they gave birth to them? That’s the predominance? Or why? Or just because they spent nine months in the belly or…?
ELIAS: Your biological parents are going to be an influence regardless of whether you have any physical contact with them.
ANN: That’s what I’m curious about, is why. I know it’s energetic, but don’t we have an energetic connection with everybody?
ELIAS: You do, in being interconnected. But then before you manifest, you choose your parents. You choose the parents that you will be born to.
Now; if they choose to send you away and have you be adopted to other individuals who will become your physical parents in your life, you’re still connected in a very strong energetic manner to your biological parents because you chose them.
MARK: You’re not defining what kind of influence. You’re only stating that they’re influential.
ELIAS: Repeat.
MARK: I said you’re not defining what kind of influence your biological parents have on you. You’re—
ELIAS: Yes, I did. Which would be that if you were to meet them, let us say that you were adopted at birth and then as an adult you meet your biological parents. You will discover that you think very similar to them, you have physical mannerisms that are very similar to them, that many things that are important to you are very similar to them. You may be a very emotional and affectionate individual and your adoptive parents may be very stoic and not very affectionate, and you will be an individual that is constantly trying to receive that from the adoptive parents who can’t naturally give it to you, because that’s something that came from your biological parents. It’s something that is that energetic connection. It’s not simply an energetic connection in some cosmic expression. This is very practical, physical manners that you will be emulating your biological parents and not even be aware of it.
MARK: Is there any exceptions to this rule? You say there’s no absolutes.
DENISE: There has to be, because there’s no absolutes. (Group laughter)
ELIAS: There can be. There can be. It’s unlikely, but yes there can be.
AARON: Kyla just discovered her father, her actual father, and they are so alike and they’ll hang out all the time and they’re like best buddies.
ELIAS: Precisely. This is not unusual.
Yes?
CHRIS (XAVIER): How is that affected by choice in focuses that you have relationships with, intimate, previous husband, wife, whatever?
MARK: That’s a good question. That’s a complicated one as well.
ELIAS: It can be complicated, because many times individuals that have incorporated many focuses, many lifetimes together, many relationships together in intimate relationships, they carry with them a familiarity that they can recognize in most focuses. Not always. Sometimes an individual doesn’t recognize it, or many times one individual does recognize it and the other one doesn’t. That occurs frequently. But that all is dependent upon the awareness of the individuals and the sensitivity of them.
Now; in that, how that can complicate the situation is that the familiarity that you have with an individual, the number of focuses that you have with them, whether you’re soulmates or not, doesn’t mean that in every focus you will have a complementary relationship with each other. That you will likely meet and know that individual, because you all manifest in groups. Therefore, in one focus you will know the same individuals as in most of your focuses. Therefore when you meet and develop a knowing and a relationship of an individual, you might have that familiarity but that doesn’t necessarily guarantee that you will be a complement in a particular focus. It’s a matter of paying attention, noticing whether you flow with the individual, and recognizing that once again, love is not enough to hold a relationship. It simply isn’t. It is a significant component. It’s something that is romantic, but realistically, you can love someone very deeply and not be able to maintain a romantic relationship with them or a partnership with them, because you aren’t complements.
DENISE: And if Elias asks you in a session to look at how you’re complements with someone, then you’re probably not. (Group laughter)
ELIAS: Yes?
JOHN (RRUSSELL): I have a question. So I know that… so interconnection’s important and this is a topic within, right, this—
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: — umbrella thing of interconnection. And I know that as we become more interconnected, then we’ll be able to not only understand and see but better organize and plan ourselves as a civilization, right?
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: How we propagate, how we organize, how we do that sort of thing.
ELIAS: Most definitely.
JOHN: All of that sort of stuff, and it starts with all the things that go under interconnection and solving for them and making them out, right? Like identifying your own complements and things like that. What else is there in that umbrella?
ELIAS: Actually, the base of it all is self-awareness, is being aware of you and being self-directing. That’s the base of everything. And the more self-aware you are, the more all these other things fall into place and that you recognize them and know them and understand them.
YVONNE: So if everyone in the world were self-aware and self-directing and moving in the best directions for themselves, it would be fun and surprising but things would theoretically work very well?
ELIAS: They would work very well.
DENISE: Where does being present fall into that?
ELIAS: The more self-aware you are, the more present you’re going to be.
DENISE: That’s a byproduct?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes. It’s automatic.
DENISE: Okay. I mean, you’ve been saying pay attention to what you’re doing, so—
ELIAS: Because—
DENISE: That leads to self-awareness. Self-awareness leads to that. They are hand—
ELIAS: They are. Yes. They are very much interlaced with each other. And if you do one, you’re likely to be doing the other. I emphasize paying attention to yourselves because it’s so automatic for you to be looking at everything else except yourselves.
DENISE: Well, political. Hello! (Laughs) I’m kidding.
ELIAS: Which is supposed to be in ADDITION to. (Group laughter and chatter)
DENISE: All right. High five. (Gestures) You got me on that one.
ELIAS: And?
DENISE: Fist bump? High five?
ELIAS: Which means? (Group laughter)
DENISE: Put your hand up. (High fives Elias’ hand) He got me. (Group laughter, cheering and chatter) We’ve done this before.
ELIAS: Ah! Yes. (Group laughter) But it is difficult to maneuver the physical in an intentional action. (Laughs)
KAREN: You did well, Elias. (Group laughter and chatter)
LYNDA: You can say that again.
KAREN: Congratulations. (Group laughter)
ELIAS: Very well. (Laughs) And I shall incorporate two more questions.
Yes?
LYNDA: I would like to shorten. Well I know you’re going to say practice. (Elias chuckles) I would like to shorten. I don’t quite understand the gap I make between asking myself what the statement is and then paying attention to what I’m doing, and in the middle I’m plowing through a lot of feelings which seem to distract me and overcomplicate what I’m… the simplicity of what you’re saying.
ELIAS: Because you’re thinking too much.
LYNDA: And that’s what that is? And so the step—
ELIAS: Is to stop thinking.
LYNDA: Stop thinking, even though I’m still feeling, and not worry how long the feelings are going to go on.
ELIAS: Correct. Because the less you think, the more quickly the feelings dissipate.
LYNDA: High five. (Does a high five action by herself) (Group laughter)
DENISE: She air-fived you. (Group laughter)
ELIAS: Yes?
KAREN: I was going to ask a question from in the first part. But I have a counterpart that I’ve known for many years, and this is around money generation. And I have noticed for as long as I’ve known this person, she has the Midas touch and whatever she touches makes a ton of money. And it used to irritate me (group laughter) but now it’s just like I’m fascinated by it. Is it the fact that her wants and her desires are just completely in concert? Is that what’s going on for this particular person? Or is it the fact that she has no beliefs that run counter to her ability to manifest money extremely easily?
ELIAS: First of all, it’s not about beliefs. Everything is beliefs. It’s about what you believe, which is very different.
Now; I understand what you’re expressing, and that’s automatic, that most people think in those terms but it’s not that black and white. What I would say is, there are many different variables in relation to different people. Some people seem to have that Midas touch because they collect money, in the manner that other people collect things. How you collect things, if you’re a collector of things, of certain things, let us say you collect teacups, you look for teacups. Everywhere you go, you look for teacups and in that, you collect them. You purchase them. You find them. You display them and you are focused on those teacups, and therefore you will draw yourself to all of those teacups and you’ll collect them and you’ll have them. And you don’t necessarily do anything with them. You’re not trading them. You’re not giving them away. You collect them.
Some people collect money in the same manner. And in that, just as easily as you find teacups, they find money. And they do things that create money, because they collect it. And they don’t necessarily have to do anything with it. It’s not that they want to necessarily do anything with it, although they may. They are people that are somewhat opposite of most people.
Most people want something and then they have to manifest the money, or they want something and then they express to themselves, “Now I have to create the money to get this thing that I want.” People that collect money, they have it and then they might want something that they can use the money with, but they simply are as interested in how to collect the money as an individual is in how to collect the teacups.
KAREN: That’s it. Thank you. (Group chatter)
YVONNE: It’s all about the process.
ELIAS: It IS about the process. Not the outcome.
YVONNE: Of how to collect it and not the money itself.
ELIAS: Yes. Yes. Yes. It’s not the outcome. It’s not the money itself. That is not important. What’s important is how to create it, or what to do. And yes, it IS the process. How to find it. And in that, it’s not necessarily about how to use it, it’s about how to have it. That’s a very different mindset than many individuals have. But just as any collector, it’s not difficult for them to collect whatever they choose to collect. It’s something that they see everywhere and that they’re looking for everywhere, and it’s easy for them to collect it. And for an individual that collects money, it’s the same thing. It’s easy for them to generate it and to create it and to find it, anywhere and anyhow, because that’s what they collect. Therefore that would be some individuals, many individuals that you think of that have the Midas touch.
ANN: Like Warren Buffet. He said making money, he said he didn’t want to make money but it’s just a byproduct of what he liked doing.
ELIAS: Very well. I shall—
JOHN (RRUSSELL): When’s the science wave going to be over? (Group chatter)
ELIAS: When— I will express very simply when the science wave will be finished. Very simple. Yes. When science recognizes and acknowledges that perception is key to everything.
JOHN: So will that mean like some obscure science journal or do you mean like (group chatter)?
ELIAS: When science in general accepts that. (Group chatter)
JOHN: Another few decades then. (Group chatter)
ELIAS: It could happen tomorrow or it could happen ten years from now.
DEBBIE: And what could we do to encourage them?
ELIAS: Pay attention to perception and how important it is, and recognizing yourselves that perception creates everything. Everything. That it is ultimately the most important part of your reality, because it creates every miniscule amount of your reality and every moment of it. Therefore, that being ultimately important, I would say that that’s the most important factor in relation to any physical reality, is perception. It’s the base of everything. Therefore, when science recognizes that, then your science wave will be over.
ANN: So is there…? You know how like Adam had just said that he’s seeing, realizing how that the world of the dead really is like the inside-out of us or something? Is that still physical? So would they still have perception, the dead?
ELIAS: They do have perception, to a point, until they move into non-physical transition.
JOHN: Like that movie, right?
ELIAS: But before they move into non-physical transition, yes they do have perception because they’re still creating physical imagery.
ANN: To create any physical reality –
ELIAS: You have to have perception.
ANN: Even like dreamwalkers? Do they have perception?
ELIAS: Yes.
ANN: Because even though it’s wispy, it’s still reality.
JOHN: It’s like that What Dreams May Come movie, right? Have you seen that? (Group chatter)
PETER: You use a term, a very specific term. It’s a mechanism. This is not some—
ELIAS: Oh no.
PETER: It’s a mechanism.
ELIAS: Yes, it is.
PETER: It’s a mechanism that is a projection.
ELIAS: Yes.
PETER: It is not a receptive interpretation thing. It’s a mechanism.
ELIAS: Yes.
PETER: It’s a projection.
ELIAS: Yes.
PETER: And is an action.
ELIAS: Yes.
PETER: Of consciousness.
ELIAS: Yes. Yes. You are correct.
ANN: And we still don’t understand it.
ELIAS: Correct. (Group laughter and chatter)
PETER: Does that mechanism have a physically-expressed correlate of our identity? At a quantum level?
ELIAS: You can’t quantify it.
PETER: No, no, not quantify it but—
ELIAS: At a quantum level, yes. Yes.
PETER: We’ll talk more about that tomorrow.
ELIAS: Very well. (Group chatter) Very well. (Group chatter and laughter) (To Peter) You may have visitors. (Group chatter and laughter)
Very well, my dear friends, I shall greatly be anticipating our next meeting. And I express tremendous, tremendous love, affection, friendship and tremendous support to each and every one of you. Au revoir.
GROUP: Au revoir. Bye Elias.
Copyright 2022 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.