Session 20200812

“Exercise: Not Following Feelings”
“It’s Time for You to Move into the Present”
“The Thunderstorm Analogy”
“Revel in This”
“What Not Following the Feeling Means”

Wednesday, August 12, 2020 (Private/In person)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Lynda (Ruther)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

LYNDA: Good afternoon! (Elias chuckles) I have a question from Jean before we get crack-a-lackin’: “Would you ask Elias if the probability is high that New York City will significantly experience the civil war? There is a reason I ask, since my husband has business there. It may influence our decisions.”

I am guessing “soon” would be the addendum to that, or…

ELIAS: It depends on what she is concerned about or what she is identifying as affecting. As I expressed, this is not necessarily a civil war that will be fought with guns.

LYNDA: Right.

ELIAS: Therefore, everywhere will be affected. Will New York City or New York State be affected more than other places? Not necessarily.

LYNDA: Okay. Thank you.

(Sighs) I’m pretty good, thanks. I have good news.

ELIAS: What?

LYNDA: The first part of the week, I was hot and heavy into throwing quarters in jars [1] and waking up in the night, (laughs) even waking up in the night and throwing a quarter in the jar. I didn’t sleep very well the first four nights after our last session. I just kept doing it in faith with no feelings, and every day at work, I’d say “Who do I want to be right now?” And I’ve been practicing with the “enthusiastic” word, and every time I practiced with “calm, enthusiastic and centered,” I had bigwigs compliment me and I had people say, “You’re really good at this. Thank you for manning this COVID desk,” and “I’m going to tell somebody about you.” And I thought, “Mmm, this works no matter what I’m feeling.” Even though I had this gap of still feeling bad, the minute I got the objective feedback, I saw that it worked. So, this was a practice, practice, practice—very good thing.

Then I fell off the turnip truck (laughs)and had a meltdown with Mary, which was great. I had a money fear meltdown with Mary, and we just talked it through. And she goes, “I can tell you’re not listening to me because you’re afraid. I can see it in your eyes.” Then I read her some of my session and how… I’m going to say this and I’m over it and I don’t think this anymore, but I torqued that really understanding that I create my reality, at least on this newer level, is scary.

And I started to trash myself, because I looked at everything that was happening like this is my fault, I’m to blame here, I’m doing this. And I couldn’t stop delaying the money and I’m going to create more havoc, and I stopped and I read the one paragraph on the bottom of our last thing, of that’s the point, that you create with whatever the feelings are - you create new feelings.

And I was explaining to Mary how frozen I felt and not motivated—that was the one thing—and she said to me, “That’s when you act.” And you just said the same thing to Jean the next day. So, I woke up the next morning with this thing in my gut to write my client and ask to borrow money for hearing aids. or if you have work for me that would great. And it was a good, in-the-moment, genuine…and I sent it with no expectation, and she wrote me almost right back and said, “I don’t like to loan money, but you can work for a couple of months for six weeks and I’ll just send you the money.” And I suggested, “I’m just going to continue doing our blog work.” So I got my hearing aids. It blew me away, Elias, and it broke the freezingness.

So, now I’m ready to publish a book. I’m ready to just look—

ELIAS: Congratulations!

LYNDA: Thank you. And I also felt like, now that the curse… Mary says, “What are you afraid of? Are they going to come after the house? You’re not going to be able to pay bills?” I go, “You know, it’s so nebulous. I’m just threatened and afraid, but probably all those things.” She says, “This COVID thing, no one’s going to do anything.” Not that I don’t want to pay my bills, but it’s out of proportion, the fear, because I’m always about paying bills on time. She understood exactly. And (sighs) it works.

And this is not new. I know you and I have said that it works. But this was a new hard layer for me. This was a big, overwhelming thing. I’m not saying “was,” but I’m saying I faced a big monster and I’m moving through it, and I know I am.

ELIAS: And THAT is the difference.

LYNDA: That’s the difference.

ELIAS: That you see it and you know it.

LYNDA: Right. Right. I have a… Okay. I did something else. I have been stressing about my counselor for a while now, and I have not felt comfortable in our last sessions. I felt like nothing in our last sessions, and I’ve been stressing-stressing. And so the next day I was supposed to have a session. I totally forgot it. I never forget it. SHE may forget it, but I never forget it. And she wrote me like an hour and a half later and said, “You forgot your session.” And I wrote her back the first time, and I said, “Oh my god! I’m so sorry. I was organizing money for my hearing aids and I got all caught up in that.” And she goes, “Well, that’s very important. I can’t see you until dah-dah-dah-dah-dah.”

And then I talked to Mary again. She goes, “Just be real with her. Tell her how you really feel.” I wrote her back and I said, “You know there are no coincidences. I don’t ever forget my time with you, and I forgot. And that tells me this, my friend, that I am going to cancel our sessions, because with COVID I need to watch my pennies. You’ve been a wonderful person to talk to since February. You have taken me through a very, very, very difficult time, and I am very grateful to you. And I am going to move on now. And thank you for all you’ve done, and good-bye. Lynda.” And I said to Mary, “When I did it I felt kind of guilty, like I wanted her to write me back – or I was afraid she was going to write me back and say, “No, you’re too crazy. You shouldn’t.” Anyway, I have not heard back from her.

And I thought well, what would Elias say? Elias has been encouraging me all along to talk to her. And I thought to myself, “Elias HAS encouraged me to talk to her, and Elias is not going to tell me not to talk to her. This is my choice. And I think Elias is going to say congratulations, because you didn’t want to talk to her anymore and you had to be the one that acted.” Is that pretty much the story?

ELIAS: What I would say is that was courageous.

LYNDA: Thank you. It was very courageous. Between you and her and the difficulty I’ve had, I thought, “I tried the EMDR. I tried. I explored this option. But what Elias and I are doing right now, I’m ready for Elias and I think you’re waiting—“

ELIAS: And I agree with you that that particular method of therapy is not…in your terms, isn’t what you need.

LYNDA: Right.

ELIAS: And in that, it has been important for you to identify certain subjects, certain memories. It’s been important to connect certain memories with certain feelings and behaviors.

LYNDA: Yes. Mostly behaviors.

ELIAS: Yes.

LYNDA: Yeah.

ELIAS: But you don’t incorporate the type of trauma in your life that that type of therapy would be successful with.

Now, I did definitely recognize the value of engaging that at the same time as you were engaging with myself—for a time.

LYNDA: Right.

ELIAS: But actually, I would agree with you at this point because, as I expressed to you in our previous two conversations, it’s time for you to move into the present.

LYNDA: Yes, it is.

ELIAS: And stop repeating past.

LYNDA: And this is good news, because there’s a lot of wonderful information about the present, and from you, from… I’ll talk about Eckhart Tolle in a minute, but… And I used to think that the reason I wasn’t quite ready for it for a lot of years was because I knew I was skipping shells. And I didn’t want to skip shells, and I’ve been diligent not to skip shells. And now I’m ready to have some genuine “What do I want to be right now? Who do I want to be right now?” and watch it unfold.

ELIAS: And it IS.

LYNDA: And it is. Glory, glory, glory halleluiah.

ELIAS: So, express to myself, when you were in the midst of that most terrible – because remember, I told you, you were on the brink.

LYNDA: Yep.

ELIAS: That was the breakpoint.

LYNDA: Oh god, Elias.

ELIAS: In the midst of that terrible—

LYNDA: Frozen, terrible.

ELIAS: — how long did that take to stop?

LYNDA: Not long. Relatively speaking, the intensity of it, between the session before last and this session. This session, this week is when I turned it. Gosh. It turned in a moment. That’s the weird thing.

ELIAS: Precisely. I want you to think about that. I want you to remember that.

LYNDA: Right. It turned in a moment. It didn’t take long. It turned in a moment. I thought I had to labor and suffer in it.

ELIAS: As intense and awful and terrible as it was, and then it broke.

LYNDA: And then it broke. Because I took an action.

ELIAS: What I would say to you is, think about a tremendous storm.

LYNDA: Right.

ELIAS: A tremendous thunderstorm. A thunderstorm isn’t the same as a simple rainstorm. A simple rainstorm can go on and on and on for days and days and days, even weeks.

LYNDA: Right. Right.

ELIAS: But a thunderstorm comes on very quickly and disappears very quickly, but it is tremendously intense while it is happening.

LYNDA: Yes.

ELIAS: But when it stops, it stops and it’s gone.

LYNDA: It is gone. And this is exactly what happened. I’m kind of blown away.

So I met Leonore downstairs, our new friend—is she emotionally focused?

ELIAS: Yes.

LYNDA: I told her I would ask. I knew she was. Anyway, the first thing she said when she saw me? “Oh, you are so alive looking! And I love your white hair. It’s grey and white and you’re so alive!” And I thought, “Okay! (Laughs) I’m so alive!”

And I’m more comfortable back on the Elias list, and….I don’t know, Elias. Just very grateful that (sighs) it seems like the worst is over. Anything could happen. Anything could happen.

ELIAS: Revel in this.

LYNDA: Yes. Revel in “anything could happen.”

ELIAS: And in this new expression, the lack of the fear.

LYNDA: Yeah.

ELIAS: The lack of the storm.

LYNDA: The lack of the lack. The lack of the fear. Boy. I always wondered what it would be like to live with that—now I know. I’m going to definitely… Trust me, I’m revelling.

ELIAS: Excellent. Excellent.

LYNDA: Thank you. You know, it’s funny, I… All right. I want to bring up the eating, because it’s a thing, but it’s not… Something’s happening with the eating, because I (sighs)… I don’t keep a lot of food in the house, but I keep good food in the house. I’m a little at sea about it still, and I’m paying attention to how to break the concentration on it. Because I’ve been paying attention to how to break the concentration on the money and the lack, and I have a feeling that the principles are the same.

ELIAS: They are.

LYNDA: And I thought rather than make a big deal out of it, I’m just going to not go on a diet and relax and eat. I’m just not going to make myself crazy. That’s all I’m going to do right now. I would like to just be balanced and not go on a diet and disappoint myself. I think diets are not right. I think that diets are a disappointment, because I’ve been on so many, and I have to trust my desire that if I want to be more comfortable in my clothes it’s going to happen, not because I diet but because I trust myself and I relax. And I don’t know what that means exactly, but Eckhart Tolle says to be comfortable in the not knowing. He’s a funny little guy! So, that’s the direction I’m going in. I just got that. I’m starting to wear tighter clothes, even though I feel a little thicker around here. I’m alive! (Laughs)

ELIAS: You are.

LYNDA: And I feel actually okay, and I’m walking and jogging more. I may start running. You know, I’m not afraid to run. I’ve used the excuse that I’m too old long enough, and I think maybe if I start jogging more and running it’ll balance everything out. And I felt you smiling at me a couple of days ago, and I thought, “Maybe I’ll start running,” and I felt this little like, “Why don’t you do that?” (Both laugh) So, kudos. It’s all good. Everything’s okay.

ELIAS: Congratulations.

LYNDA: Thank you. Finally. Finally.

ELIAS: And you can breathe.

LYNDA: I can breathe. What a concept!

ELIAS: And you can be.

LYNDA: And I can be. And anything could happen.

Oh, I sent this on to the list recently from my session with you from 2017: “Your desires are going to manifest, whether they’re in the midst of constructs and pain or not.”

ELIAS: Correct.

LYNDA: And I want my desires to manifest with as much ease as possible, because I trust that all the little minutiae things are going to figure themselves out between genuine desire and want, and I’m going to delight and surprise myself.

ELIAS: And that is it.

LYNDA: That’s it. And I’m really going to be here for people that go through this, because it’s gnarly, dude.

ELIAS: And that also will be…It already is a gift that you can give.

LYNDA: Yes. And I will, freely. Nobody… I get it. This whole being human thing right now? I was talking to Jasper in my head. I said, “What? You were born with no fear? What was that like? Who…? I don’t get what’s happening in the Shift. You don’t even have any idea what this is like.” And he’s saying, “I know. It’s fascinating. You’re our hero from another time zone.” And I’m like, “Okay. You and Seth say stuff like that to us, but it’s really hard for us to realize that right now.” (Elias chuckles) So I’m saying, “Boy, you’ve got to be able to do it and go through it.” And I’m spending overmuch time in the analyzing, and the thing is there’s got to come a point where we don’t do that anymore and we step out. I’m not saying to skip shells, but somewhere between not skipping shells and taking an honest look at behaviors that do need to change, and making that process a little faster, because we have inspirations around us that have done it that know you can do it.

ELIAS: Precisely. And the biggest part of that is that simple statement: not following the feelings.

LYNDA: Not following the feelings AND, even if the feeling is bad, doing it ANYWAY.

ELIAS: Yes. That—

LYNDA: That was what turned it.

ELIAS: That is not following the feeling.

LYNDA: Yeah, but that… That is turning in the midst of having opposite feelings and making a different declaration.

ELIAS: Yes.

LYNDA: And it’s genuine.

ELIAS: Yes.

LYNDA: Because you’re choosing it.

ELIAS: Yes.

LYNDA: I’m choosing it, and I’m genuine.

ELIAS: You’ve got it.

LYNDA: Thank you. (Sighs)

ELIAS: You’ve got it.

LYNDA: Thank you.

ELIAS: That is it.

LYNDA: Yeah. Thank you.

ELIAS: THAT is the difficulty.

Now; think about that, because that is how you can help other people, is that that is the difficulty. They don’t make that connection. They don’t get it, that that is what not following the feeling means, actually understanding that whatever you are intentionally choosing is genuine; it doesn’t have to have a feeling.

LYNDA: Right. And if you wait for the feeling, it ain’t going to ever happen.

ELIAS: Correct. It isn’t about waiting for a feeling to happen. It isn’t about it is ingenuine because there isn’t a feeling accompanying a choice; it is about actually knowing you HAVE these feelings. Not following them means DO SOMETHING that is different, that is perhaps opposite to that, regardless that you are feeling it.

LYNDA: Right.

ELIAS: In the midst of feeling it.

LYNDA: And my example to me is sitting at the desk at Walmart and saying to myself, “Who do I want to be right now? Calm and enthusiastic.” When you said “enthusiastic,” I went, “Okay, I’m going to try that, because that’s a big challenge, enthusiastic.” And people walked in and I said, “Hi, how are you?” and I meant it, and that’s when I garnered all this attention from the bigwigs. I thought, “Oh my god. That IS my natural flow, is to schmooze with people.” And I was myself and I had fun, and I felt a part of everybody because I was enthusiastic and I chose to be. Actually the negative feeling went away pretty fast, once I stepped into the enthusiasm. It does work. I just want you to know that. This stuff works. Thank you very much.

ELIAS: You are welcome.

LYNDA: (Sighs) Yeah. That’s the secret. That’s the ticket. Golly.

ELIAS: It is successful.

LYNDA: I might release this session, for goodness’ sake. I think I’m going to. Why not? It’s the first session I’ve released since the Lord left Chicago. And it’s a good one.

ELIAS: Congratulations.

LYNDA: Thank you very much. It’s nice talking to you.

ELIAS: This is a lot of accomplishments.

LYNDA: Thank you very much. Thank you very much. It was nice—

ELIAS: And it is a tremendous step out of what was into what is.

LYNDA: Yes. Exactly.

Oh! I want to say… Oh boy, I do want to say this. This is not a discounting of our friend ET—it’s just a difference. I want to start enjoying my life and enjoying being human and enjoying creating fun things and enjoying being present. It’s true: the possessions and the house and all that, it would be great if we could paint the house. It would be great if all these things that I want…I DO want to experience good things. I don’t want to just sit on a cushion and ponder my navel and talk to plants that much—although I’m open to that. But I mean I want to be ACTIVELY present. I want to be human.

ELIAS: Yes.

LYNDA: I think if I’m going to be human, I don’t want to try to not be human. When I die I can be not human. Right now I want to enjoy my life. As much of my life as I have left, I want to be in it.

That’s all I have to say. All right. Nice chatting with you.

ELIAS: And you. Fantastic!

[The timer for the end of the session rings]

LYNDA: Thank you. I love you.

ELIAS: Very well. And in that, perhaps you will be this enthusiastic at our next conversation also. That you will continue it—

LYNDA: Yes. I can plan on being this enthusiastic in twenty minutes.

ELIAS: Excellent.

LYNDA: Thank you very much. (Elias chuckles) I love you. Say hi to everybody, wherever they are. You know me. Hello to the troops.

ELIAS: And I love you.

LYNDA: I love you, too.

ELIAS: Until our next meeting, au revoir.

LYNDA: Au revoir.

(Elias departs after 30 minutes)

©2020 Mary Ennis. All Rights Reserved.

[1] The Not Following Feelings Exercise:

ELIAS: That’s what happens when you follow the feeling: you make it happen. When you worry about money, you make the worry real. Therefore, you want an exercise about money? Very well, today trade $20 for quarters. Place a jar on your table in your living room. Every time you feel worried or distressed or afraid or anxious about money you stop, you tell yourself, “That’s what I’m going to create if I keep doing this,” and you put a quarter in your jar. Every time, put a quarter in your jar and tell yourself in a stern manner—not in a wishy-washy fashion, in a stern manner tell yourself, “Every time I do this I’m moving in a direction to create that. I’m making it happen. I’m making this happen every time I worry, because I’m following the feelings.” Then put the quarter in the jar and remind yourself that you choose what you feel because you choose what you pay attention to.

Therefore, you can choose to feel something else by paying attention to something else. It doesn’t matter what it is that you pay attention to, but pay attention to something else that creates a different feeling. That will distract you.

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Copyright 2020 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.