Session 20200517
“Entanglements and Attachments”
“Trauma and Non-Trauma Entanglements”
“Trauma versus Difficult Experiences”
“Happiness and Contentment Definitions”
“Skin Problems as Protection”
“Playing the Victim Card”

Sunday, May 17, 2020 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anon

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

ANON: Hi, Elias!

ELIAS: (Laughs) And we meet again, my friend.

ANON: Yes. And it is time for the entanglement session. You know, people have actually collected money to get to know a little bit more about this very interesting topic.

ELIAS: Excellent.

ANON: And you know, when you first mentioned attachments, I was imagining them as exactly that: attachments to my identity like a sticker, and once you identify a sticker, it is then simply a matter of choosing to remove it. But later, I saw that this image was quite incorrect. And I saw a ball of wool, and the attachments are seen as small objects with several long threads that are entangled with the core identity, which would be the core ball of wool. And that picture makes it more tangible that it is not simply a matter of identifying the attachment, since then it is still entangled with the identity and several other expressions. And if you randomly pull at one of the threads you do not untangle it but generate more tension in one spot. So, it is not a matter of identifying it and then simply dropping it, but it is like addressing to different layers of the attachment [different threads], and some might not even be visible at the beginning. And then at one point you have untangled it and are free to choose whether you want to continue to express that energy or aspects from it, but it is unlikely that you will be able to remove that energy in one single action, even if that is possible and is what I do with my own attachments, but it is likely not what the masses are doing.

So, the question that we can start with is, How do you identify a core attachment and how to start addressing it? And in my opinion, also knowing that one does not discount oneself, as that is a rather arduous action that might not be accomplished as quickly as many would like to see it.

ELIAS: I would very much agree. And I would also agree with your assessment of them and your analogy with it. I would agree with all of that and express that this is something that is considerable and can be considerably challenging to actually address to.

What I would say is, definitely first of all it isn’t a situation that can generally simply be addressed once and then it is done. It is a process, and in that process, it depends on the severity of what you are terming to be an entanglement—which I would actually express that that is an excellent word for this—and with that, depending upon the severity and the strength of it, and whether it includes any trauma or not, because that is also a considerable factor, because some of these attachments do include trauma.

When you attach something to your identity, you do that through experience. It isn’t simply a matter of a construct that you hold very strongly. This is different, because when you move in a direction in which you have begun to attach something to your identity, that means you have taken in some association so strongly, and you believe it so strongly that you believe it to be a part of your being and who you are. And that can be challenging to undo that. And with some of those attachments, they have been expressed in relation to experiences of trauma that people have.

Now, not all of them are; some attachments can be very entangled and can be very strong and not have any basis in trauma and not have any trauma associated with them.

But I would say that the first direction to be identifying or to attempt to find, let us say, or discover or uncover, these types of attachments that are entangled with the individual’s identity, is to begin looking at expressions that have been very strong and very consistent in the individual’s life, stemming back, generally speaking, from the time that they were a child.

Now, that means that from the time the individual was a child, they began expressing ideas in relation to who they are, and therefore it is very easy for a child to begin generating these types of attachments based on their experiences. But some people actually develop these types of entanglements with their identity as an adult, but generally speaking it would be as a young adult, and that would include also some severe experiences—not always traumatic, but definitely severe. In that, something strong enough that it would affect the individual’s perception of their own identity and perhaps even change their perception of their own identity.

Now, in this, as I began, the first step is to begin looking at what are the most consistent and the strongest influences in the individual’s life. Therefore, that would begin with parents, because they are the strongest and the most ongoing influence in an individual’s life.

It is very important that individuals, when they are beginning this process and they are looking back at these strong influences in their lives, that they don’t automatically search for trauma, because that can be very confusing. If the individual doesn’t have any trauma, they will be looking for something such as that, not finding it, and then automatically assuming that they have covered it in some manner, and that may not be the case. And in that, they may simply be spinning in circles and wasting their energy looking for something that isn’t there.

Therefore, I would say that even if the individual does incorporate some experience of trauma that they will find it if they do. You don’t require looking specifically for trauma; you will find it if you actually do have trauma experiences.

In this, what I would say is, it is a matter of first evaluating what types of experiences have individuals had beginning as a child, and what was their perception of themself? And then, if they incorporate the answer that their perception of themself was fairly positive or that it was not necessarily entangled with attachments yet, then it is a matter of moving forward and discovering when did that change, when did they begin viewing themselves differently and changing their perception of themself. And in that, it may require several revisitings of memories—but sometimes an individual can’t recall a memory. Therefore, then it is a matter of engaging a different process and a method of using other expressions such as [inaudible] and feelings and engaging senses, to pull back that memory and be able to access it in recall.

Using one’s senses can be very instrumental and beneficial. Therefore, it is a matter of generating a type of method in which you engage with a facilitator—such as yourself—in helping the other individuals. And in that, the facilitator would then be guiding the individual in a direction of thinking about feelings that the individual has about themself now, and moving back in increments in time to be identifying how that perception, which is being expressed in relation to a feeling, was developed and what attachment it is that is creating that perception, and doing that by not simply moving back in time with the individual but also engaging their senses—therefore, stopping periodically at a particular time. As a hypothetical example, if the individual is in their decade of their 30s, let us say, the facilitator would move them back into their middle 20s and be expressing, “Do you have this feeling? Do you have this perception at that age?”

Now, allow yourself to visualize yourself at that age. And what are your senses telling you? What is the most prominent smell? What is the most prominent taste at that age? What is the most prominent touch? And what do those things mean to you at that age? And then repeating that process, moving back farther and farther in time until the individual can reach a point in which they can identify a change in their perception that they no longer have that feeling, they no longer have that perception of themself, their perception is different.

Then the facilitator can begin to move in a direction of asking questions and defining, What were the factors in that time framework? What was the individual experiencing in that time framework that was influencing them in such a manner that they changed their perception of their identity?

Therefore, that is how you begin. And it can be a significant process, doing this, because it is something that is once again so obvious that the person can’t see it, because they are expressing it every day, constantly. And in that, when you are expressing something so continuously and you have such a long, ongoing perception that this is part of who you are, you don’t question it; it isn’t what you do, it is who you are – but that isn’t necessarily true.

And how you see yourself, how you perceive yourself in relation to who you perceive yourself to be, who you are, is very important because it influences everything you do. It influences everything you engage, everything you do, every moment of every day, because that is how you are expressing yourself, because that is what you believe is you.

ANON: I do understand that. And maybe, Elias, many people may be not clear what is actually the difference between an attachment that is formed by a trauma and one that is acquired later without a trauma. Is there a distinct difference?

ELIAS: Actually, there is. And the trauma can be expressed at any time. It isn’t necessarily that individuals that have trauma have had that only as a child. Some people actually do generate these trauma experiences as an adult—but generally speaking as a young adult, not older.

But in that, yes, there is a difference in relation to the addition of trauma, because when an individual experiences trauma in their life, it not only creates some of that attachment in relation to their identity, but it also has an effect of fracturing them, in a manner of speaking. It fractures a part of their being, and because of that, then in addition to the attachment there is almost the opposite effect occurring at the same time. Meaning, an attachment is an addition to your identity, something you add to what you perceive to be your identity, but when the individual incorporates trauma, it not only creates an adding to, but it also creates a taking away.

ANON: Ah!

ELIAS: Therefore, there is a piece of their identity that is taken away and hidden, and that is the fracturing element of the trauma effect. In this, that can be more challenging to untangle, because in addition to identifying and discovering the attachment, you also have to discover what was fractured and then hidden and taken away. Therefore, that can be considerably challenging, and generally it requires more time, because it requires more time for the individual to actually connect with all of that and then undo the fracturing, therefore piecing back together the identity and re-establishing it.

Therefore, yes, there is a significant difference between trauma and non-trauma entanglement.

ANON: And you know, my friend, many people—and I guess somehow the Elias people are even more so—are moving in a direction of thinking that they have to do it alone. I mean, it is interesting for me. They would not come to the conclusion to repair their car if it is broken, but if it comes to something that they perceive is going on in their energy, they think they can do it alone. They do not need help and it is even more beneficial to do it alone, even if they express yes, we are interconnected [and the other is me in concept]. And in my opinion, they are actually not moving to their greatest benefit. What is your take on that, Elias?

ELIAS: I would agree, but I would express a step further also, because I would say to you, very realistically, in relation to this type of expression in which individuals incorporate attachments to their identity, I would say that the idea of undoing that or untangling that alone is unrealistic, that it would be exceptionally difficult for an individual to do that. And even if they did, it would require not only intensive action and involvement and work for the individual alone, but it would also require much, much, much more time. I would say that, is it possible? Yes, it is. There are individuals that have done it, and it has taken them years and years and years to do it.

Whereas, if you are allowing yourself to be engaging with the help of a facilitator in some capacity, you can actually realistically move through, and address to, these attachments and untangle them, in your terminology, in any time framework in relation to—depending on the severity—perhaps a couple of months to a year. Dependent on the severity, because generally speaking, individuals that have trauma as children—and I am definitely speaking only of trauma—individuals that have trauma as children don’t generally only have one.

ANON: Yes.

ELIAS: They generally have several. And therefore, that may require more time, because it isn’t only one expression that they would be untangling.

Now, I would express that it is perhaps also important to define trauma.

ANON: Yes.

ELIAS: Because people can have severe experiences that are very influencing and affecting but not necessarily traumatic. In that, what I would say is that there are two manners in which you can generate the distinction of significantly difficult and affecting experiences and traumatic experiences. Trauma generally—genuine trauma—involves the perception of the individual that they are either being threatened with the possibility of death—therefore the threat of the trauma is so great that it involves a very real possibility of death or a life-threatening situation—or that it is the presentment of life threatening or death in relation to witnessing death.

ANON: Oh! That is interesting. So, if you witness such a situation as a young kid, you can also be traumatized?

ELIAS: Definitely. Definitely.

And now, that can happen as an adult also, obviously, but as a child, generally speaking, if they incorporate trauma they incorporate more than one. Because if a child is in a situation that actually presents trauma, they generally—there are a few exceptions—but they generally are in some type of situation that is ongoing, and that trauma will be repeated. And as I said, there are exceptions to that. A child could be in a position in which they could be in a collision in a vehicle, and individuals in their vehicle or in another vehicle could die and they could witness that. And that would be an exception, because that would be a likely one-time experience. But generally speaking, children that experience trauma generally do experience that on an ongoing basis, and therefore it is more than one trauma that influences them and that attaches to their identity.

ANON: [Observes that even in people with long lives it might be difficult to get rid of those attachments.]

ELIAS: I understand. And that is another significant point, my friend.

The factor that an individual may have trauma in their experience or may have significant attachments to their identity doesn’t mean that they can’t be successful individuals—they can. What it DOES mean is that regardless of how successful they are, there will always be, in a manner of speaking, a shadow attached to them, that there will always be something looming over them that prevents them from being genuinely happy and content with their life—but they definitely can be successful.

ANON: Which is very important, because I mean, I see that many people have attachments to their identity, and they would express if you would ask them that they have a happy, successful life. And so they might think that they do not have attachments to their identity, but they do have, so…

ELIAS: Correct. Correct. And I would also say that the idea of being happy…mm… is…something that is very similar to the expression for most people of love. And I have discussed this previously, in which I have identified that most people—I would say that this has changed recently for many individuals that engage this information, but prior to that—most people actually hadn’t genuinely experienced love. But they think they have, and they mistake affection for love. And in that, they may express to themselves and to other people that they know what love is and that they love different people or beings and that it is genuine, and they actually don’t know what the actual experience of love is.

In relation to happiness, many people consider themselves to be happy if they aren’t consistently uncomfortable. They will say that sometimes they might be uncomfortable but that is normal, and I would agree with that also. But they would say that they generally are happy individuals because there isn’t anything in their life that is necessarily making them UNhappy. But they don’t actually realize what the genuine expression of being happy is, and in that, they don’t necessarily genuinely know what the experience of being content is.

AND many people misinterpret and mis-define the term of contentment and think that being content is not something that they necessarily want to be in their life, because that means they would be unmotivated and they wouldn’t have anything to look forward to in their life, which is entirely incorrect. Being content in your life is generating a genuine satisfaction in yourself, in what you do, in your environment, in how you interact and what you express with other individuals, that your life on a daily basis is something that you welcome, that you invite, that you are grateful for and that you are expressing that you genuinely enjoy.

I would say that there are many individuals in this forum that would not necessarily say that about their life. And in that, there are many individuals that actually don’t express that and will actually generate the excuse that they don’t express that because they are a final focus (Anon laughs) and they are tired of this reality. That is ludicrous.

ANON: (Laughs) I know. I am also a final focus, and I can say I am quite satisfied and content for a very long time now.

ELIAS: I understand. And in that, it is a matter of actually expressing that simplicity of “everything is enough.” And when you do that, you are free to be generating more and more and more and more.

ANON: Yes.

ELIAS: But in that, I would say that this also is a significant piece in relation to how an individual can begin to see that perhaps there is some attachment, perhaps there is some type of entanglement that would be worth of their addressing to, if they can’t actually say that that is their experience in life, that they aren’t actually genuinely content with their life.

ANON: You know, Elias, maybe it is also helpful to give a number, because many people have actually no idea how many attachments a normal person has to their identity. I mean, I am aware that we have several attachments that are necessary to fit into this dimension, and most people will actually never touch them. But let’s say that you are identifying the attachments that are in some way hindering people to be happy. What would you say? Do they have one, or two, or how many would be an average? So that people would have an idea and think oh, they have identified one and they are done for the rest of their lives, so to speak.

ELIAS: Very well. I will express two responses to that.

The first response would be, regardless of whether an individual has only one attachment or many, it isn’t a matter of “I have addressed this and now ever after I am free.” In one capacity, yes, but in another capacity it is also important to recognize that nothing that you do in your physical experience is once and done; it is a matter of maintaining that on a daily basis. Therefore, that would be the first response.

The second response would be, in relation to most individuals I would say the types of attachments that are hindering you, I would say between two and…between two and six for most individuals. I would say for individuals that incorporate significant trauma, they may have about the same number of attachments but they may also have several branches of each one. Therefore, there may be several tentacles, in a manner of speaking, that are added to each one in relation to influences. But generally speaking, I would say that that would be the situation for most people, between two and six.

ANON: Okay. That is helpful, because sometimes people question what would be the average number. And you know, [name] also contributed to this session, and he would like you to offer information specifically related to attachment to our physical bodies, like if we have had a condition or chronic illness for years that eventually we believe it’s part of our identity. When it feels so much a part of who we are, it can be consuming. So, he has a running theme of skin problems his entire life, and could you use that as an example, how to start addressing it? And what would be the difference in it, maybe?

ELIAS: Very well. I would say first of all, once again, move in the direction of identifying when that began, and in that, what was occurring in the individual’s life when that began.

Let me give a hypothetical scenario as an example, that a condition such as this may have been developed as a young individual, as a child, and perhaps the individual developed this type of physical manifestation as a combination of a reaction and, in a manner of speaking, a protection—that the reactive part is that the individual may have experienced threatening situations that were definitely distressing and created significant anxiety as a reaction. Which, very often the body consciousness will move in a direction of an initial physical manifestation in relation to skin: rashes, irritations, drying out the skin, creating different types of physical manifestations with the skin, because that is your largest organ, in a manner of speaking.

Now, in that, that would be the first part, which is the distressing reaction part—which, the individual can develop the attachment to their identity that they are defective, in a manner of speaking; not necessarily automatically bad, but that they are somehow not good enough, that they are somehow defective in their personality, that they are broken. And therefore, this skin reaction is part of their evidence that they are broken.

But they also USE that as a protection expression, and they use that in two capacities. One is that if they are generating this obvious display of being broken with this condition, it changes how the individuals around them are responsive to them. It at times influences the individuals around them to be less threatening and to be paying attention to them differently. But it also simultaneously holds individuals at bay—in a manner of speaking, in some manners it pushes them away. Therefore, that protects the individual from whatever is threatening them in relation to other individuals, because they are broken and they are, in a manner of speaking, displaying an appearance that is undesirable and that is off-putting to other people. And therefore, it pushes them away, and it holds them at a safe distance.

Therefore, this can be generated as an attachment to the individual’s identity, actually, in that they were born broken and that they were, in a manner of speaking, born with this developing experience and expression of their appearance that is not normal—therefore THEY aren’t normal—and that actually in some capacities makes them less than human.

ANON: Oh.

ELIAS: Therefore, in that, that is a strong attachment to an individual’s identity and would be very affecting and influencing of all of their experiences. It would be affecting them in association with relationships and how they function, what they do in their daily life, their daily experience in relation to comfort and discomfort, and all of this is because they are broken and they are somewhat less than human.

ANON: So, quite tricky to address that.

ELIAS: I agree. And I would say that this is an example of how it would be important to be moving backward in identifying the experiences, the ongoing reinforced experiences that the individual incorporated as they were developing that would be influencing this and that would be reinforcing this over and over again to the point that the individual would be expressing this definite attachment.

ANON: Thank you, my friend. There is another one. [Name] thinks one of her biggest entanglements to her identity is actually playing the victim card, which is directly blocking her own power and success, which keeps her from feeling deserving. What is your take on that?

ELIAS: I would agree, and I would be acknowledging and congratulating that she has actually defined that and uncovered that. And that is difficult for many individuals to actually admit. They don’t want to express that word. That is weak and very bad to be a victim. I would be actually—

ANON: Especially in the Elias forum, Elias. (Laughs)

ELIAS: Once again, it can be very efficient, and it can change the type of interactions that you have with other individuals. It changes how they interact with you. Unfortunately, in repeatedly expressing oneself as a victim, in a manner of speaking, in your terms it backfires on most individuals, in which it creates a horrific circle in which the individual is expressing themself as a victim and that actually influences the people around them to victimize them more, which is a very unfortunate circle. It also creates an attachment to the person’s identity that they are incapable—that once again, not that they are necessarily broken, but they are [inaudible] as a personality and that they actually aren’t capable of certain actions and expressions; that they aren’t able to succeed in many directions, because they simply don’t have the ability to do what they want to or to accomplish.

[The timer for the end of the session rings]

In that, they can even extend that into physical expressions and be limiting themselves by perceiving that they are physically incapable of certain actions or certain movements: that they can’t do this action because they aren’t strong enough, or they can’t move in a particular direction because they don’t have enough endurance. They can’t go on a walk with another individual, or a hike, because they don’t have the physical ability to do that.

Therefore, they can genuinely limit themselves tremendously, not only emotionally and mentally but even physically. And in that, once again, the tremendously unfortunate aspect of viewing yourself as a constant victim is that you attach to your identity that you actually intrinsically have no power. Therefore, how can you accomplish, how can you be successful, how can you engage almost anything if you have no power? You have nothing to draw on.

ANON: And Elias, in my opinion this attachment is actually more common than most people think, and it is actually one that is very likely well hidden in people. And they would express, “I do not have this attachment,” but they do have it. What is your take on that?

ELIAS: I definitely agree. I definitely, definitely agree. I would express that this is evidenced very frequently in how much of a lack of trust people have in themselves, and in that, how much they actually believe they aren’t capable of certain expressions and how they are so entirely undeserving.

ANON: Mm-hm.

One last question. [Name] would like to know, were we successful in starting to untangle his head clamps? In my opinion, he was quite compliant and he is actually changing, so we were successful to make a first step. What is your take on that?

ELIAS: I would agree. I would express that this is one of those attachments that will require time and an ongoing interaction, but I would definitely say that you have begun, and you have made a first step and you have been successful in that. I would say congratulations. I know this is a situation that has been tremendously bothersome to him for many, many, many years.

ANON: And I was not quite sure if he would be compliant, you know, Elias?

ELIAS: I understand. I would say that his desire is strong, and I know that he genuinely wants to move in a successful direction. I would say that this also would be another example of expressing being a victim, in that he has been expressing being a victim to this for many years. And in that, that creates a situation in which it is difficult to address it. It is difficult to move in a direction of letting it go when you don’t perceive that you have the ability to do so, or the power to do so. Therefore, that can be significantly challenging. But I definitely would encourage and applaud his determination and his desire to address this and to actually move forward.

ANON: Thank you. And last one, I mean [name’s] mother died. Do you have some words for her? She was asking me to ask you.

ELIAS: I would say to her two expressions. One is a tremendous acknowledgement in encouraging her to let herself grieve. And the other is a tremendous, tremendous acknowledgement of her in being able to breathe, and experiencing and allowing herself to experience without judgment a genuine relief and release and breathing. And perhaps now she can actually genuinely move in the direction that she genuinely wants.

ANON: Thank you, my friend.

Our time is over. I really acknowledge this information. I think it will help many people to get more clear about attachments to their core identity, you know, Elias? So thank you.

ELIAS: I very much agree. And I express a tremendous encouragement to you and all the individuals that you are engaging with in this direction. I would express to all of you that you can be successful, and that in doing so you can actually move in a direction of being content.

I express to you, my dear friend, and all of your participants with you, exceptional love and great support in what you are doing. I shall greatly be anticipating our next interactions. In tremendous love, au revoir.

ANON: Au revoir, Elias.

(Elias departs after 1 hour 8 minutes)

©2020 Mary Ennis. All Rights Reserved.

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Copyright 2020 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.