Differences, Relationships, Not Following Feelings and Healing
Topics:
“Differences: Engage with Them Differently”
“Not Following the Feeling in Interactions”
"New Directions"
"Maintaining a Healthy Relationship"
“Healing: Looking at the Whole”
“Tea vs. Water”
“Stop Expressing Not Enough”
Session 20200301
“Differences: Engage with Them Differently”
“Not Following the Feeling in Interactions”
"New Directions"
"Maintaining a Healthy Relationship"
“Healing: Looking at the Whole”
“Tea vs. Water”
“Stop Expressing Not Enough”
Sunday, March 1, 2010 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Steph H. (Rachel)
"Once you take a step in a new direction, it becomes easier and easier to move forward. Because once you take a step, you change your energy, and therefore when you change your energy, everything around you begins to change."
ELIAS: Good evening!
STEPH: Hi Elias! It’s so good to speak with you. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And welcome back. (Chuckles)
STEPH: Thank you. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you. (Both laugh) I’m so glad we could connect. It was funny the way that it all came together today, and as you probably are aware, I had a moment when Mary initially emailed me back saying, “What about Sunday, this time?” and I had this like intense feeling where intuitively I was like something doesn’t feel right. And then I just sort of stuck with it for a few moments and it all just felt like it fell back into place. Yeah, that was an interesting occurrence. But anyway, I’m really glad that it worked out.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And here you are.
STEPH: Yes. (Elias chuckles) Now do you mind if I fire away with some sort of shorter questions to begin with?
ELIAS: I would express that it is entirely your show. (Both laugh)
STEPH: All right. So, first of all, I wanted to ask about some shared focuses, so like with a few people the number of shared focuses and also whether I have, I guess, what you might call a soulmate or a very close bond with these people. So, the first one is actually Jean-François from the Elias Forum. How many focuses, and are we quite close energetically?
ELIAS: And your impression?
STEPH: Shared focuses: it feels too high, but I keep going to say like 900 and something. And I do feel like we have a close energy.
ELIAS: I would say that you are correct in both.
STEPH: Oh, really?
ELIAS: And I would say that in that, yes, that you have shared counterpart actions many, many, many times and that you have many, many focuses together. And would that be a designation of a soulmate? Yes.
STEPH: Mm. Wow. Okay. That’s cool. Is his…? His energy is similar to my friend Owen’s energy, yeah?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Yep. Hm. Interesting. But I’m actually less close with Owen?
ELIAS: Correct.
STEPH: Hm. Which is interesting to me, because yeah, I’d always picked up on the similarity and… well, anyway, that’s a whole other story (laughs) for another time.
What about with my friend Emma? I feel like… I feel like I’m going to say 800 and something with her, 847? (Laughs)
ELIAS: Congratulations! Yes.
STEPH: Oh my god! That’s amazing. And in all of those focuses, have we been quite close?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Been sisters more than anything else? (Pause) No?
ELIAS: I would say family members—
STEPH: Okay.
ELIAS: — more than other relationships. Not always sisters.
STEPH: Mm. Interesting. And what’s her essence name, please?
ELIAS: One moment. (Pause) Essence name: Dextra [DEX-trah], D-E-X-T-R-A.
STEPH : Thank you. Was that D for Delta that that started with?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Yep.
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Okay. And how many focuses at this present time has she had?
ELIAS: (Pause) Numbering of focuses presently: 4,451.
STEPH: Okay. Cool. Now with Barb from the Forum, essence name Lemure– I’m not saying that right maybe, but (laughs) how many focuses have her and I shared?
ELIAS: Your impression?
STEPH: I keep going to say 500 and something, but I kind of want it to be higher. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: And I would say that you can always increase that, but yes, you are correct.
STEPH: Hm.
ELIAS: And remember: focuses aren’t static. Therefore, they don’t remain the same.
STEPH: Yeah. True. True. Yeah, because I felt quite a strong connection with her, talking with her, which was nice.
Robin Lane and I, now (laughs): it’s a funny topic because I’ve always felt some conflict with him, but I kind of view him like a little brother, like I get a strong little brother energy. And it’s not that I dislike him; I just… I’ve kind of often felt rubbed the wrong way by interacting with him. Which, I don’t mean that to sound mean, but anyway. (Laughs) Why do we have such a conflicting energy? And… well, yeah.
ELIAS: Differences. [Inaudible] a different energy and it, because of that difference, can be somewhat abrasive or creating friction or agitation – not necessarily that the other individual does anything wrong—
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: — or that you don’t like them. And I agree with you and I acknowledge that, but that doesn’t necessarily matter, that you don’t dislike someone. Differences can create situations in which it can be difficult to interact with another individual, regardless of whether you like them or not and whether you appreciate them or not.
This is what I have been expressing recently considerably, because at this point now, there are situations occurring that either individuals are recognizing these differences now and it explains to them why they have challenges with certain people. Even though they have relationships with them, even though they might like them or even though they might care about them, they have these challenges between them. But in addition to that, it doesn’t necessarily make it easier.
STEPH: Yeah. (Elias chuckles) Does he—
ELIAS: In fact [inaudible], but I would say that this is a significant point, is that even in our group interaction yesterday this subject was one of the subjects that I addressed to, in that it is an opportunity for all of you to look at these differences and engage with them differently.
STEPH: Hm.
ELIAS: Rather than engaging with them in the manner that you are accustomed to, which is usually somewhat inwardly conflicting—not necessarily that you make it conflicting outwardly, but to feel conflicted inwardly, and it is difficult. And another very important piece with that subject is, once again, the feeling piece, in two different capacities that are very important in relation to differences and interacting differently. One is that most people that are interacting with another individual that is different and that they have difficulty in interacting with them, they many times feel that they are being ingenuine.
STEPH: Mm. Yep. Yep.
ELIAS: Because they are being nice, but they are also simultaneously either annoyed or irritated or frustrated, and therefore they feel that their expression or their interaction with the other person is always somewhat ingenuine.
Now; that is incorrect, because this is actually an example of intentionally choosing something regardless of a feeling. And when you are intentionally choosing something, you aren’t being ingenuine; you are simply accustomed to gauging your genuineness on feelings, which is incorrect.
And the other piece that is considerably important about that is that in those interactions that you might feel you are being ingenuine because you don’t necessarily feel the same as you are—
STEPH: Expressing.
ELIAS: — expressing, this is an example of also not following the feeling.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: That you HAVE a feeling, but you are doing something different. That you choose to be, let us say in a hypothetical situation, acknowledging someone when what you are actually feeling is annoyed because this individual is being very elementary and juvenile. But you are acknowledging them anyway, even though you have somewhat of [inaudible] feelings. And in that, you are generating an intentional choice, therefore you are being self-directing, and you aren’t following a feeling. You aren’t letting a feeling dictate to you, which also is significant and an accomplishment. And I definitely want to acknowledge that with you and with other individuals that I understand and acknowledge the challenge in relation to differences, and it doesn’t matter that objectively you may not have a reason to be put off by someone else. Your energy alone is enough, that the differences in your energies is enough to put you off, and then you will look for reasons that the other individual annoys you or is agitating to you or abrasive to you in some manner.
And in that, all of those reasons that you find are not necessarily (chuckles) actually valid, because someone else may be expressing in the identical same manner and you wouldn’t be annoyed with them.
STEPH: Yeah. So, it’s just basically finding external things to reinforce or to back up what we’re just feeling internally, subjectively.
ELIAS: Precisely. Precisely. Yes. And what I would say in that is that when you recognize that, and when you understand that you may be expressing a very different energy than another individual and that that doesn’t quite move you in sync with the other individual, and therefore it is more challenging to engage with them, it doesn’t mean you can’t engage with them, but it IS more challenging.
And in that, I would say that the more you can acknowledge what you are actually doing rather than what you are feeling about it—because in these situations, the feelings are generally repeat feelings, and if you acknowledge them they will come less loud. Not that you won’t feel them at all, but that you can remind yourself, “I already know that we are different.”
STEPH: They’ll have less dominance.
ELIAS: “I already know that this energy is different and that it isn’t quite in sync with my own. I don’t need that constant signal to remind me of what I am doing. I already know.”
STEPH: Mm. Okay. I’m going to nip that one in the bud there. That’s a big topic, I guess. But thank you. That lends a lot… One thing I was going to say actually, in addition to that, just in brief, does that tie in with…? Because I was going to ask you a question in terms of with my job stuff or my career stuff or where I’m sort of going in that direction.
As you know, I’ve studied a lot of therapy in the past, and one thing that’s been – and there’ve been a lot of reasons why I haven’t pursued that – but one thing that’s been distracting me lately is that I’ve been feeling annoyed with people in general. (Laughs) A lot more than I ever used to be. And I was like, how can I be a good therapist if I’m worried that I won’t like my clients?
So, I know you don’t always have to like your clients (Elias laughs), but I was like, if I’m annoyed with people in general, surely that’s going to bother me. And of course, part of me knows as well I probably won’t be annoyed with them for long, because once I get to know stuff about people I usually like them to some degree. But is part of my reluctance around therapy at the moment, has that been tied in with listening to my feelings too much and not just realizing…? You know, because when you were saying that, I realized whoa, yeah, it’s not about how I feel; it’s am I making the choice to listen to my client and respect them and acknowledge them and be with them. It doesn’t really matter what my feeling is so much. Like I can acknowledge that, but that doesn’t have to be the dominant thing. So, that topic kind of ties in together, right?
ELIAS: I agree. Yes. I agree. Yes.
STEPH: Hm. That’s big.
ELIAS: And I would also express to you that in relation to that subject, it is also a matter of moving yourself into a consistent, centered and balanced direction and position. Because I would say that it is definitely a matter of acknowledging to yourself that if you are choosing to listen to other individuals and what is bothersome or distressing to them, it is important that you are providing a safe environment for them. And in order for you to do that, it is important that you yourself are consistently centered and balanced, and that will allow you [inaudible] direction more successfully, if you are so choosing.
STEPH: Do you say that – not necessarily as counseling, but as I’ve been quite passionate with hypnotherapy and art therapy—do you see that as being a strong…? And I know that, you know, as you were saying probabilities at the moment are especially unpredictable – but in terms of what I intended for this lifetime, this focus and what I may shift myself towards, do you see that as being a strong probability of a path that I might make my… one of my dominant focuses in this lifetime?
ELIAS: I would say (pause)…Now, I acknowledge what you were expressing about everything being very changeable presently, but I would also say that you do definitely have strong potential in that direction to combine both. And in combining both, I would say that yes, that is a very strong potential, and you have a strong capacity to engage those directions together and to be successful with that.
STEPH: Mm. Is that what when people have said to me in the past that they sense I’m going to be successful with stuff – and this has happened when I’ve been interested in energy work and healing work, so to speak, whatever – is that kind of what they’re tuning into? Like you’re sort of saying there is a natural proclivity towards those kind of things, more than I credit myself for, by and large?
ELIAS: Yes. I definitely would agree.
STEPH: Hm. Because sometimes I feel I can be a bit self- centered around these things, and like whenever I feel like I acknowledge yeah, there’s a natural inclination there, but on another level I… I don’t know. I have fears and doubts and confidence stuff. But I think that’s a bit more complex. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: And once again, this is a matter of recognizing that all of it is about choices. And in that, it is a matter of acknowledging those feelings but then also generating intentional choices.
STEPH: Mm. Can I ask you a quick question with regards to feeling? The online diploma I’ve been studying, the business administration, I can’t decide if my desire to quit that is following feelings in terms of feeling scared of how big it is or following feelings because I know it’s not the right choice for me. And I’m curious which one you think it is. Like I feel like I’m making the right choice to let it go, but then I’m doubting myself. But I don’t know if following my feelings is that I’m... should be listening to my heart or listening to my head. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: I understand. I understand. And I would say it isn’t necessarily about following your heart or your head, but more following your passion. And in that, I would say that your passion lies not necessarily in extreme feeling but in what is genuinely fulfilling. For what I would say in relation to this subject is that following the feeling in this situation would be remaining in the position that you are because you are afraid [inaudible] direction—that would be following the feeling. NOT following the feeling would be taking a step in a different direction, even though it [inaudible].
STEPH: Sorry, I think I’m creating some interference here. Is it because I’m not relaxed enough? (Both laugh)
ELIAS: I would agree.
STEPH: Okay. I’ll try and relax.
ELIAS: What I expressed was that following the feeling would be remaining in the position that you are because you are afraid to do something different.
STEPH: Yep.
ELIAS: NOT following the feeling would be allowing yourself to take a step in a different direction, even if it is scary.
STEPH: Yep.
ELIAS: And what I would say is an acknowledgment that the first step is always the most scary.
STEPH: Yep. Yes.
ELIAS: That once you take a step in a new direction, it becomes easier and easier to move forward. Because once you take a step, you change your energy, and therefore when you change your energy, everything around you begins to change. Therefore, not only your direction changes, but everything around you in relation to that direction begins to change and become easier. That doesn’t mean that it is entirely easy immediately, but it becomes easier and easier.
STEPH: Mm. Can I interrupt there for a moment and ask, Is it more beneficial for me to stay in Sydney or go back to Melbourne? Because I feel like I’ve been staying in Sydney because I’m like I should be helping Mom out, I should be… you know, I can save money up here, blah blah blah. But then I’m like if I go back to Melbourne, I can look for certain jobs that are more stable that I actually want to be in long term, even though it—excuse my swearing, but it scares the shit out of me. (Laughs) Because then I’m like I need money and all of that stuff, and maybe I’m not trusting that I can generate that fairly easily. And I know there’s a much bigger, loaded topic there, but yeah.
ELIAS: And what I would say to you, my friend, is you already know the answer to that. You already know that the latter [inaudible], but I will validate it (Steph laughs) to help you validate it to yourself and to trust yourself. But I would say that that is definitely more [inaudible] what you want to do. And also, what I would say to you in relation to your mother and family, everything isn’t black and white, that you can choose to move, and you can express the suggestion that she move also.
STEPH: Yeah. But I mean, she’ll move… she’ll move elsewhere. (Laughs) I think she—
ELIAS: I understand. Yes. I understand.
STEPH: It’s just I feel like I have to help her—not necessarily help her move, but get rid of all of the stuff. But maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself, and maybe that’s also something I can do much faster than I’m anticipating.
ELIAS: And also it is a matter of recognizing that that piece [inaudible].
STEPH: Sorry. I think I just generated interference again. You said recognizing that that piece…?
ELIAS: Isn’t your responsibility.
STEPH: Mm. (Sighs) That’s a big lesson, Elias. (Both laugh) I know it intellectually, but Jesus, I’ve chosen to create some obstacles there for myself. (Sighs)
ELIAS: (Laughs) I understand, and I would express that you definitely aren’t alone in that boat. (Laughs)
STEPH: Yes. That is true. Now there’s a lot more in that that we could talk about, but I’m going to move it on for a second. James, my friend James in the States, he and I seem to be quite significant soulmates. Is that correct?
ELIAS: Correct.
STEPH: (Sighs) I’ve been questioning whether I’ve been making the right decisions. That’s a kind of complex issue. I don’t know. (Sighs) Did he and I…? And again, I know plans change, but did he and I intend for this lifetime just to be kind of that… we didn’t intend to be in a relationship, like the way it’s all unfolding is right, so to speak? Is that accurate enough? I know it’s more complex than that.
ELIAS: (Pause) I understand. I understand what you are saying, and I would agree with you.
STEPH: Okay. Thank you. Sorry, that’s a much bigger topic. (Both laugh) Yeah. I’ve been feeling a bit of sadness or pain around that, and it’s hard because there’s such an intensity there. It’s not something I really want to talk about a whole lot right now, just because of time, but yeah. There’s an intensity there. What’s his essence name, please?
ELIAS: One moment. (Pause) Essence name: Xyloh [ZY-low], X-Y-L-O-H.
STEPH: Hm. That’s cute. That suits him. Has… Have he and I shared most of our—not just most of our focuses, but like the majority of our focuses overlap? We’ve shared a majority of focuses?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Yep. Is he like one of the top, say, three essences that I’m quite close to?
ELIAS: (Pause) In a manner of speaking.
STEPH: Am I closer with him than I am with Marty, my boyfriend?
ELIAS: In relation to [inaudible]—
STEPH: Essences.
ELIAS: --and other focuses, yes, but are you closer to him in this focus? Not necessarily.
STEPH: Yeah. No, no, I definitely don’t feel that for this focus, so that’s good. What’s Marty’s essence name, please?
ELIAS: One moment. (Pause) Essence name: Jamie (Steph laughs), J-A-M-I-E.
STEPH: That’s, that’s pretty funny in the context, but okay. (Both laugh) At this present time, how many focuses has Marty had, or Jamie had?
ELIAS: With you?
STEPH: In general and with me.
ELIAS: Ah. Very well. And your impression with you?
STEPH: I’m going to say 834. Is that the number I used with someone else earlier? Did I say? I think I said 847 earlier for maybe… Was it Emma? Anyway, yeah, 834?
ELIAS: Correct.
STEPH: Mm.
ELIAS: And…
STEPH: All up is he had about 3000 and something?
ELIAS: I would say numbering of focuses presently: 4,012.
STEPH: Hm. But he and I are very close, aren’t we?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Energetically. Yep. Did we intend – and again, I know linear time, blah, blah, blah – but did we intend to be together in this lifetime quite strongly? (Pause) Or was it more of a choice—
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: — that we—
ELIAS: Yes. There was a strong potential in that.
STEPH: Okay.
ELIAS: And I would say that yes, it also was a factor for each of you in your pool of probabilities that you brought into this particular focus. Therefore, yes.
STEPH: Okay. Thank you. Is his essence animal a lion?
ELIAS: (Pause) Yes.
STEPH: Wow. He’ll like that. His focus animal, is it some kind of snake?
ELIAS: (Pause) Correct. Anaconda.
STEPH: Ah, well! (Laughs) That’s cool. He’s common?
ELIAS: Correct.
STEPH: Political? Or I couldn’t decide if he was political, thought or emotional. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Political. Correct.
STEPH: Okay. Is he Ilda alignment?
ELIAS: Correct.
STEPH: I don’t know if I’m saying this right. Gramada or Gramada essence?
ELIAS: Correct.
STEPH: Is he a final?
ELIAS: No.
STEPH: Cool. So, he’s continuing?
ELIAS: Correct.
STEPH: Good. What’s…? Sorry, there’s a few different ways I could go there. Is there anything…In a short answer, is there anything that I should or could do to ensure that he and I remain quite healthy together? Or are we more or less on the right track, even though there are some bumps or frustrations?
ELIAS: I would say other than maintaining and moving in a direction of becoming more and more self-aware and evolving yourself, paying attention to a relationship also and maintaining it and moving in a direction of encouraging the relationship itself to evolve also and change. Because if you don’t allow the relationship to change, it stagnates, and therefore that is a very important point. In that, maintaining the relationship in a healthy direction, which also will [inaudible] or more easily allow it to change, is to be intentionally frequently sharing. That doesn’t only mean talking. I know that in your present time framework there is a tremendous emphasis on talking with each other.
STEPH: (Laughs) Yep.
ELIAS: I would say that it is much more than that. It is a matter of sharing, that you share activities together, that you share your importances with each other, that you engage each other in physical activity. And that is very important in relation to maintaining a healthy relationship.
STEPH: Mm. Yep. There are some physical activities that scare me, but he’s a bit more adventurous than me. (Laughs) Are you talking about things like that or just other things?
ELIAS: I am merely expressing in general that it is important to share physical activities with each other. And in that, it is important to be engaging with each other, therefore not only doing what you do and he doing what he does, but that you also do together intentionally, that you make time for each other.
STEPH: Mm. Yep. No, I hear you. Again, there’s much more we could speak about there, but I’m going to cap that for now. Oh, just quickly though, is there anything else that I can do, maybe like one little thing that I can do that he won’t tell me that would actually make him feel more special or secure or loved or appreciated, that I could do?
ELIAS: (Pause) I would say pay attention and acknowledge.
STEPH: Mm-hm. Yeah. (Laughs) I do have to work on that. And I hate that like I’m so [inaudible] at times with him (Elias chuckles), but I feel like I’m slowly getting better.
ELIAS: I would say that you are and you are learning, and it is a learning process. And I would say to you that it doesn’t serve you to dwell on what you AREN’T doing, but rather begin to concentrate on what you CAN do.
STEPH: Yeah. He does still obviously love and accept me, regardless of those kind of areas of improvement, though, right? Like he… I kind of get the sense sometimes he looks at me a bit like a parent would look at a child and laugh about their little faux pas.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I would definitely acknowledge that (both laugh) because he does love you, and I would express that [inaudible]…
STEPH: I think that cut out a little bit.
ELIAS: I would acknowledge yes, he does at times look at you in that manner.
STEPH: Yeah. (Laughs) No, I feel it quite strongly. All right. I’m going to move on for a second. What’s my intent? I think I’ve asked you this before, but it might have been a session that didn’t record. It’s something about connecting with people, and I feel like there’s some of that intimacy there, but that kind of shifts for me, because obviously especially with my relationship I’m not going to have the same kind of intimacy with other people in the same kind of way. Are you able to just elaborate on my intent for me, please?
ELIAS: I would say that you are correct, but that it IS an exploration of intimacy, and that there are many different forms of intimacy. Which, I would say that this is part of what you were expressing in wondering about your exploration in relation to perhaps counseling with other individuals. Intimacy is not necessarily only expressed with people that you have significant relationships with...
STEPH: Yep.
ELIAS: …or that you are expressing a partnership with or a friendship or a family relationship with. Intimacy can be expressed in many different manners, and it is expressed in openness.
STEPH: Mm. Okay. So, I would like to talk more about that, too, but I’m not going to right now. Again, I think I’ve asked you this next question before, too, but I’m just double-checking. Did Mary—as in Michael—and I have a focus together as eastern European circus clowns in about the 1800s?
ELIAS: (Pause) Yes!
STEPH: Yep. Yeah, I think that’s why I got sad at the clown jewellery box that Mom got me, isn’t it?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Yep. It still makes me really emotional right now, but anyway. Is it accurate that Melissa from the Forum—as in Leah—and I were twin sisters in about also probably about the 1700s in, say, Poland, where she got married to Togi but the three of us kind of had a bit of a relationship living together?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Yeah, that one’s [inaudible] (laughs). But anyway. Thanks. With my hand—and again I’ll keep this sort of shorter—with my hand is there a significant probability that I will heal it to more or less hopefully the same ability and same way it was before the complication with the healing of my fracture?
ELIAS: There is a considerable potential in that direction, yes.
STEPH: Will seeing Carmel Bell, the medical intuitive—will that help me, given my trust in her?
ELIAS: (Pause) Explain.
STEPH: Sorry, that cut out a bit there.
ELIAS: Explain.
STEPH: Carmel Bell, the medical intuitive that I was going to have a session with, will she be able to help me fix—and I don’t know whether that’s the best word, but fix or address or heal the core issue behind my hand so that I can get it back to a good ability? Or…?.
ELIAS: (Pause) I would say that depends. It depends on how open you are in relation to your interpretation of interactions. Meaning, if you engage with that individual, that if you are not being literal, if you allow yourself to be interpretive, then it is a strong potential that yes, it could be considerably helpful.
STEPH: I guess I just—
ELIAS: If you move in a literal direction, I would say that it is likely it won’t incorporate much effect.
STEPH: Okay. Because my issue with it at the moment—and again I don’t really want to get into it too much because I’m a bit concerned with time—but my issue at the moment is I feel stuck, and maybe that’s the key to it as well. But I feel stuck because I feel like I’m not trusting myself. I feel like I don’t want to do my hand exercises because they hurt. I feel frustrated that this has happened in the first place, and I don’t get how my body is restricting me so much when that’s really not what my injury was. And I don’t really know what to do next. And maybe I do know on some level, but I think I’m scared that if I don’t do something like right now—you know, in the next couple of months—whether it’s hand exercises, whether it’s whatever, but hand exercises are quite painful at the moment—I feel like if I don’t do something now, then I’m going to get stuck. But maybe I need to let go of that sort of mainstream belief, too, and trust that I can fix it with time. I don’t know.
ELIAS: I would definitely express to you that that is part of it. It is you are fighting with yourself. And in that, having that perception of being stuck is part of it. And in that, I would say that it is a matter of allowing your body, rather than fighting with it. And you have been fighting with it.
STEPH: Mm. What’s the best thing that I can do right now? For my hand?
ELIAS: I would say the first thing, which would be the best thing, is to genuinely look at that and stop that fight, that idea that this shouldn’t be happening or why is your body doing this or your body isn’t cooperating and it is in opposition to you and it doesn’t matter what you do, it doesn’t respond. All of that is fighting. You are fighting with it. It isn’t doing what you want it to do, and you are looking at it as if you are two separate entities.
STEPH: Yep.
ELIAS: And you aren’t. In that, it isn’t even a matter of YOU aren’t doing what you want you to do; it isn’t even a matter of that. It is a matter of stopping that fight, stopping that perception that your body is separate from you and that it is doing something independent of you and that you have to do something to change it. But rather, stop the fight and begin expressing that gentleness, that nurturing capacity with yourself—not with a piece of your body, but with yourself as a whole.
STEPH: Mm.
ELIAS: Because this piece of your body is reflecting that expression of stubbornness with you.
STEPH: (Laughs) It just feels so overwhelming, like I get really caught up in it. And again, I know it’s a huge topic, like I feel there’s a lot we could look at with it, but is it beneficial for me to be doing my exercises to the point of it hurting, or should I just relax on that for a while and kind of let go of that feeling of I should be doing X,Y,Z.
ELIAS: What I would say is some of the exercise, but only to the point that it isn’t hurting.
STEPH: Okay.
ELIAS: Not to the point that it hurts. Therefore, once again, being gentle with yourself and nurturing. And in that, yes, being active, expressing the exercises, but only to the point that it doesn’t hurt.
STEPH: Mm. I’m guessing then also—and I mean this kind of sounds like a stupid question, because I know of course this is the case; it’s the case with anything in life—but I could heal this kind of without exclusively focusing on my hand. Like of course, I could do exercises on my hand for gentleness and ease and just encouraging playful movement, but realistically if I address the other stuff and even do other physical exercise like walking and freeing myself and letting go of that fear, that would be quite beneficial for my hand, yeah?
ELIAS: Most definitely. Yes.
STEPH: Mm. That’s a big thing.
ELIAS: Yes. Because it is, once again, a matter of balance. And in that, it is a matter of looking at the whole, not simply one part.
STEPH: Yeah. That is a big topic, Elias. That ties in. I had a whole bunch of health questions I wanted to ask you, but obviously they all tie together, don’t they? I mean, I know they do.
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Not even—
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct. I would say most definitely. It is all interconnected.
STEPH: Yeah.
Is the peppermint tea good for me, the way I’m drinking it? Or if I increase that?
ELIAS: Yes. I would say it isn’t necessary to increase it, but if you want to, you can.
STEPH: Is it more or less as good for me in… because I really don’t like the tap water up here, and so it’s easy for me to drink the tea. Is that okay? Am I still…? I know it affects the water a bit, but am I still getting like kind of enough water for myself doing that?
ELIAS: (Pause) What I would say to that is it is better than not at all, but I would—
STEPH: Yeah. Exactly. (Laughs)
ELIAS: But I would definitely encourage you in a direction to discover some type of water that is simply water that is agreeable to you.
STEPH: Yeah. Well, that’s another benefit of moving back to Melbourne—I like the water there much better. (Both laugh)
Is there, in a few words—and again I know I’m sort of limiting what you’re going to say to me if I say can you answer it quickly or in a few words—but is there something I can do to ensure that I am increasing or expanding my monetary abundance so that I have a good income?
ELIAS: There is. Very simply, yes. In a very simple manner and answer: Pay attention to everything in your life that you do and how much of it you automatically express isn’t enough.
STEPH: That I automatically express isn’t enough? Was that what you said?
ELIAS: Correct. Correct.
STEPH: So, basically me telling myself that I should be doing this or I’m being harsh on myself around XYZ, that’s kind of part of the problem? (Laughs)
ELIAS: Very much so. Anything and everything that isn’t enough is contributing to that subject.
STEPH: Yeah. Obviously, there are a lot of practices I can do with myself around that. Is there anything that you would… I know there’s heaps of stuff I could do, but again that’s an expression of not enough, because I’m like, “There’s so much more I could be doing.” Should I just…? You know, is it better for me just to relax enough, or should I pick one kind of thing about focusing on myself? Like Debbie was saying the other day in a message that we had, she was saying about what am I doing in this moment, or something along those lines. You know, something that you’ve said before. Is that kind of… the kind of thing I should be paying attention to?
ELIAS: I would say stop complicating it. Stop thinking and start doing.
STEPH: Okay.
ELIAS: And in that, pay attention to anything and everything that you are doing, and whenever you are doing anything that is not enough, stop it.
STEPH: (Laughs) As in stop judging it as not enough? Or stop the thing?
ELIAS: All of it. All of it.
STEPH: Hm. Okay.
ELIAS: Stop doing it, stop judging it, and what I would say and reiterate is stop thinking and start doing.
STEPH: Yeah. That’s a big one. That’s a big one. I’ve been realizing how much I feel like I’m being dictated by my fear, which again a much bigger topic as well, which is also a judgment of not enough because I’m like, “Oh, it’s too much to go anyway!” (Laughs) These are the circles I paint myself into.
ELIAS: I would express that throughout this entire conversation you have been doing that.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: And that is what I am saying to you: stop thinking, start doing, and anything that you are expressing not enough in, which you have been expressing throughout this entire conversation: not enough time, not enough time, not enough time, not enough time. (Steph laughs) And therefore in that, whenever you are expressing not enough, stop it. You don’t have to replace it with something else, not yet; just simply stop it.
STEPH: Mm. I feel like that’s going take a little while to sink in. (Both laugh)
Can I just be really cheeky and ask one more thing? With regards to my fear of driving and my reluctance and resistance to driving, does that just mean that I shouldn’t drive? Or is that again another thing that I’m allowing my feelings and stuff? I mean obviously, like you said, stop thinking and start doing, so I could take that as just start practicing driving and stop thinking about whether or not it’s going eventuate into anything, just try it where I feel safe and see how I go. But like is my fear about driving kind of—
ELIAS: And there you have your answer.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: You have answered your question.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: And I agree with your answer to your question.
STEPH: All right. (Both laugh) Well, Elias, I do love you, and I’m really glad that we had the chance to reconnect. I look forward to next time. I will definitely practice my stuff around doing. That is a very, very, very big puzzle piece you’ve illuminated for me there. But yeah, you know it’s a rich one for me, so I appreciate that. (Both laugh)
Anyway, thank you so much. I really appreciate it, and I look forward to whenever we rendezvous.
ELIAS: Very well. And so shall I. And I express tremendous, tremendous encouragement to you, my friend.
STEPH: Thank you.
ELIAS: And great love to you always. Until our next meeting, in exceptional support, au revoir.
STEPH: 'Bye now.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 2 minutes)
©2020 Mary Ennis. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright 2020 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.