Moving Into Allowance By Making Situations Less Important
Topics:
“Moving Into Allowance By Making Situations Less Important”
“Acceptance Doesn’t Require Agreement”
“Giving and Receiving”
“All Receiving Includes Doing”
“Expressing ‘Enough’”
“Children Learn By Example”
Monday, November 28, 2016 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Jason (Spensar)
ELIAS: Good morning!
JASON: Hello, Elias.
ELIAS: How are you proceeding?
JASON: Things are going great now , but I did go through a somewhat slightly rough period a few days ago, which is one of the topics I want to touch base on, which is: At that timeframe – and this was over the Thanksgiving holidays and I ended up spending a long period of time with family and the in-laws, which generally I like everyone quite a bit, it's just a long time to spend the whole day with some people. I usually prefer my alone time after some point.
But at the time, I was attempting to focus on what I liked. I was continuously getting overwhelmed with what was irritating and what was unsatisfying, and then I was waiting for this and waiting for that. And then that continued the next day, and I was in a slight period of disappointment. It was funny because I was noticing how I just kept re-creating all these little small disappointments throughout the day, just sort of mimicking my energy. Then at some point I just realized I couldn't turn the tide, I couldn't force my attention to what I wanted, and so instead I just went to allowance and acceptance, and I was amazed to how quickly it cleared all that up. Since then I've been concentrating or focusing on allowance, and it's been awesome. (Laughs)
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Understandably. This, in actuality, is a significant point, for what you were describing is the direction that so many individuals move in when they are creating situations that they are uncomfortable with, they don't like, they are frustrated. And in that, the automatic direction for most individuals is they automatically think, "Move my attention. Move my attention." And when they think about moving their attention, the first direction that they begin to think about is attempting to find something that they want, or something that is more comfortable, which is not the point.
When I express to all of you, “Move your attention,” it is not “Replace it with attempting to think about something that you want,” for that is merely pushing away what your concentration was on, which is on what you don't want, and it merely exacerbates the situation.
And it IS very difficult to alter that concentration, but when you relax… When I express, "Move your attention," what I am expressing in that is to lessen the importance of whatever it is that you dislike or that you are uncomfortable with, for that is what is generating the discomfort, is that whatever it is you don't like has become important, and that is the reason that your concentration remains on it and that your attention continues to refocus on it. But when you lessen the importance of it, then you can move your attention in other directions; and in that, lessening your attention in some capacities – in many capacities – is a matter of allowing and appreciating.
JASON: Okay. That's very helpful. What was interesting is that in a state of allowing... like, if I think about my present awareness and if I have a concentration and I'm concentrating on a certain direction, if I move into what I consider a state of allowance, that concentration appears to largely disappear.
ELIAS: Correct. For when you are allowing, you are also accepting. This is a significant point, for regardless of how many times I have expressed that you can be accepting and not like whatever it is that you are accepting and not agree, that agreement – or your liking or approval of something – is not a requirement for acceptance. And most individuals struggle with that, even at this point, for they automatically equate acceptance with that they miraculously now agree with whatever is occurring or whatever is being expressed, or that it is not bothersome to them any longer for now they like it or they embrace it.
Ugh, that word of “embracing.” And in this, that is not the point at all. You don't have to like something, you don't have to be in agreement with something to accept it. And when you move in that direction of allowance, then you ARE expressing that acceptance, and you can continue with your own opinion as to your preferences and what you like and dislike and what you don't agree with, but it matters not. It removes that significance, it removes that importance, and it removes that piece of wanting to or feeling that you need to or should change it – that the only manner in which you are being satisfied or pleased with the situation is if you change it, which is not actually correct. You can be not bothered and feel comfortable and still not agree with an expression or an action and have it not be bothersome to you. Acceptance is a POWERFUL tool.
JASON: Yes. And I realize now that you're saying this, that at the same time I was moving into what I call this allowance or acceptance, I was also reminding myself that someone else's choices doesn't impact what I want to create –
ELIAS: Correct.
JASON: – when that's the lessening of importance.
ELIAS: Correct.
JASON: It's as simple as just reminding yourself?
ELIAS: That, in many situations, is enough. This is what I have expressed repeatedly. You don't always have to know the mechanics of everything you are doing, and you don't always have to know what the root of some expression is or why you feel whatever you are feeling. All that is important in a moment is to recognize first of all acknowledging WHAT you feel, and then moving your attention in a different direction that allows you to accept, or allow, however you choose to express to yourself what you are doing.
In many situations, it is difficult for an individual to think about the word “appreciate,” especially if they are uncomfortable or if they genuinely don't like a situation or an action and if they don't agree with something. It is many times difficult for the individual to move in a direction of appreciation, but allowance you can, and that automatically generates that expression of acceptance. When you can realize that whatever any other individual is doing or expressing or engaging, it doesn't dictate your choices, and it cannot affect you unless you allow it to – regardless of what it is.
JASON: That's great. In spending the weekend continuously reminding myself on this allowance factor, besides feeling really good I felt a lot more energy, a lot more productive just flowing from task to task, things getting done around the house that at the end of the day I was quite surprised how much had been done (laughs), but also even the reactivity is dramatically reduced. Maybe I'm confusing the language here with presence and allowance, but allowance is the way I've been conceptualizing it to myself.
ELIAS: That is excellent!
JASON: The reactivity: again, there may be a reaction, but it immediately goes away, or if I may raise my voice, then I immediately feel fine right after.
ELIAS: The difference is genuinely astounding, and the empowerment of yourself that you actually are directing, and how quickly you can change what is occurring in your reality in relation to what choices you generate, is genuinely amazing at times.
JASON: And separately, I've noticed that – and we've talked about this related to presence, that when you're in that state of allowance or presence, you automatically start appreciating all the small things and you start appreciating the things throughout your day. I always wondered why, when I have so much to be thankful for or good things in my life that I spend so much time focusing on a few things (laughs) that are negative or that are not the way I want, but when you're in that state it shifts your focus in that you can actually feel that appreciation.
ELIAS: Yes. And it is an example of this principle that you always create more; it is merely a matter of what you are paying attention to as to the determination of what you create more of. In that, when you are moving in that direction of allowance or acceptance, and you are shifting your attention in an appreciation, you are correct, it becomes easier and easier and you do it automatically. You notice many, many, many different expressions TO appreciate or that you DO appreciate. You always create more. It is in your nature. It is in the nature of consciousness to always be creating more.
That can be very empowering also, for once you move your attention in a different direction, you begin to see how easily you do create more of what is satisfying or what is comfortable or what you do appreciate in your experiences. It moves just as easily and just as quickly as focusing your attention on anything negative, and then you begin automatically creating one after another after another after another negative expression.
JASON: Right. And learning how to recognize when you are doing that negative and I guess, like you said, lessening the importance and being able to make that shift is the critical part.
ELIAS: I agree.
JASON: Okay, a couple of different things which will tie in, but in our last session, or maybe it was two sessions ago, we were talking about what you are doing and how that can be an expression of receiving. It was at the end of the session, and that doing may be in many situations an expression of receiving, and I was hopeful if you could expand upon that.
ELIAS: I can, but in your contemplation of that, what have you presented to yourself, or what have you assessed?
JASON: I guess the immediate insight that comes is that allowing is an expression of receiving. (Laughs)
ELIAS: In some forms, yes, I would agree.
JASON: Again, this may be an area that maybe I'm complicating, but I didn't know if there was something specific that you meant by that versus other than being open to accepting gifts.
ELIAS: Think about… very well, a situation in which you are giving a gift, or you are doing some action that you would define as giving to someone else or doing for someone else. You automatically are in that position of receiving, and in that, it feels good. It is not as much the giving that creates that good feeling, so to speak; it is what you receive in response that creates that good feeling. When you know that another individual is happy and you contributed to that by some action, you feel good and you like that feeling.
It also allows you to feel some aspect of accomplishment. But in this, it does not only have to be another individual, that it is a matter of allowing yourself to express that openness to receiving.
Receiving can be generated in many different manners. You can be engaging actions, let us say, in relation to something that you want, and you are moving in a direction of accomplishing what you want or acquiring what you want. And then it seems to you that some glitch occurs and diverts you, and you are no longer clear in how you can create that expression of what you want. And then surprisingly, somehow you receive what you want and you perceive that you didn't do it – something or someone else provided it. Your doing was not diverted; it is merely that your reception of what you wanted may be coming from an unexpected direction.
Receiving is always a matter of you also doing. Remember what we were discussing in our previous conversation in relation to generating what you want and not merely thinking about it but engaging action, therefore doing in relation to what you want, and you were using your example of your vacation.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: And in that, we used that as an example of you set your sights in a direction of what you want, you don't question it, and then you engage actions to accomplish it.
JASON: Mm-hm.
ELIAS: Every aspect of receiving includes doing also. Whenever you are receiving, you have been generating actions doing to present that to yourself and to accomplish that. You don't receive without any action. You don't merely think about what you want and then receive it with no action.
JASON: Right. That makes sense. It wasn't something I have considered, but it certainly makes sense.
ELIAS: Therefore, this is another point in relation to what we were discussing and creating what you want intentionally: there is always that factor of doing in relation to it. Now, what becomes a difficult piece or aspect for many individuals is that they are doing, they are moving in a direction and then they create the presentment of what they want but not in the manner that they expected, or not what they themselves define as them doing it themself, for whenever you receive from someone else or some other source that you don't perceive you earned, you automatically move in this separation of “I didn't create that.”
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: “The other individual did, or the other situation did – they created that. Some outside source created it, I didn't do it,” for you didn't work for it or you didn't earn it. If someone, or even your company that you work for, at some point chooses to give you a plane ticket and a paid hotel stay for no reason – or for no reason that you see – you automatically incorporate that idea that you didn't earn that. And therefore, the automatic reaction to that in many situations is to shy away, to express, "No thank you," or to wonder what is attached to that.
JASON: And then the actual action of doing that creates that opportunity to receive. Is that ... ?
ELIAS: Precisely. Precisely. You were already doing, and that is what presented that opportunity to receive. And what occurs is, dependent on what you are being presented to receive, many individuals incorporate difficulty in accepting that and allowing themselves to receive it, for you automatically attach an obligation to it.
JASON: Okay, but the actual action that you were doing that generated that receiving of that gift – we could call it a gift – was it that you were giving something to yourself already and it generated a reflection?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes, for remember what I expressed to you: Any time YOU give, you are also receiving. Therefore, you could have been giving to yourself in appreciation of yourself, you could have been giving to other individuals, and in that you also are giving to yourself and that would create that reflection. In this, there can be many different directions that you could have been expressing. Perhaps you may have been in a direction of appreciating yourself and moving in expressions of empowering yourself and you may give yourself a gift in that, but all receiving does include that aspect of doing and giving in some capacity.
It is very similar to the principle of that subject of yes and no. It is never yes or no; it is always yes AND no. Whenever you express no you are also expressing yes to something, and whenever you express yes, you are also expressing no to something. In this situation, whenever you are giving, you are also receiving. Whenever you are receiving, you are also giving – for when you DON'T receive, you rob something else of giving.
JASON: Okay, that makes sense.
Okay, question: I was speaking recently with Ayla, and one of the things that she mentioned was that no matter what you think you want, what you really want is to relax your energy in the moment. And I may be paraphrasing her, but I believe that's what she said, that you want to be comfortable and content and satisfied at the moment, and then what we think we want is generated as, obviously, the reflection of that.
So, a question about this relaxing of energy in the moment, and I know that in the past when you've talked about trust and you've talked about allowance, very frequently you talk about that as a relaxing of your energy is involved with that. What I'm getting at here is that when I think about relaxing my energy, I notice if I just say, "Pay attention to the present moment for a moment," that my energy relaxes automatically but then very quickly gets involved again. Does this, first of all, sound right to you or correct, what I've said so far?
ELIAS: For the most part, yes. I would express that it is dependent upon the moment and what you are engaging, and I would express that there's a difference between relaxing and allowing, for at times you are choosing or want to be more choosing, and I would express that there is a difference between relaxing and allowing, for at times [audio cut off], in a manner of speaking. Dependent on what you are doing and what the situation is, excitement generates tension; therefore, there may be situations that you intentionally want to be generating different expressions of tension for a specific purpose. Therefore, what I would say is that the use of the word “relaxing,” if it is being used in a capacity of being interchangeable with allowing, I would agree.
JASON: Okay, so that they're not interchangeable, right?
ELIAS: I would express that another essence may use those words as being interchangeable. I would not, necessarily, but that is because I am aware that individuals become confused easily in relation to how words are used.
JASON: Okay. She didn't mention it in conjunction with allowance. I'm simply noticing that this relaxation comes up a lot. (Laughs)
ELIAS: I would express that when you are allowing, your energy does automatically relax in a certain capacity.
JASON: Again, this is in conjunction with my intent. Not everyone may have the same intent. If I think about my intent, it's to be more comfortable, to be less reactive to outside sources, to use my attention or awareness intentionally in the way that I want. I was just thinking, if there is... You know what? Never mind. (Both laugh) I don't think I really had a question there, or if it's just an observation.
ELIAS: Which can be helpful at times.
JASON: I think about it as I, let's not say struggle with old habits but choose –
ELIAS: But are aware of them.
JASON: – new habits, there's this continuous movement of tension and relaxation with my energy.
ELIAS: Yes, which is understandable.
JASON: And moving into the present is more of a relaxation of that energy.
ELIAS: I would agree.
JASON: And that allows that flow.
ELIAS: I would agree with that also, and I would express that for the most part – unless you are intentionally moving in a direction in which you want to be expressing certain types of tension for certain purposes – for the most part, moving into allowance and acceptance and being more present does generate a relaxing aspect with your energy and allows you to be more comfortable. Generally, you are more comfortable in any situation the more relaxed you are.
JASON: Mm-hm. You used to use a term more often than you do now, which was “patience,” but I think patience... You use flow more often now, but is that basically the same thing, and that we’re using those terms interchangeably?
ELIAS: No. Patience is allowance, but many individuals automatically interpret or define patience as waiting, and that also becomes confusing to many individuals. I would express that patience and allowance are synonymous. They are interchangeable.
JASON: Okay. You've talked about patience obviously being a direct action in alignment with your chosen probabilities, I believe, is the way you described it – your intention.
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: So this is the whole idea that you trust yourself that you want to create something, that you can create it, then you allow that to unfold.
ELIAS: Yes, but also including action.
JASON: Right, and the way I think about it is more that I'll have the opportunity to do what I want, to accomplish what I want – in other words, if I'm sitting here and I'm thinking that I want to generate a project at work but I don't know what to do (laughs).
ELIAS: That is excellent example. You are correct, that if you are allowing, if you are expressing that patience, you will inspire yourself. You will give yourself information. You will give yourself ideas. It is when you are pushing that you block those ideas from being expressed, and you also block everything around you.
Ideas do not only spark from your imagination. Many times they spark from your environment, what is around you, and in that, in a moment you can be listening to something or looking at something or engaging something and you perceive it differently for a moment, and that sparks an idea or an inspiration. But when you are not allowing, you block that ability to see what those inspirations, what those ideas are.
JASON: Can you confirm that right now my energy is in an allowing mode or expression?
ELIAS: Yes. I would agree.
JASON: And I believe what frequently interrupts that state of allowing is often distraction (laughs), but I guess it's not as easy to say distraction. What happens is I have an impulse or a memory or something, or an “I need” or an “I should” impulse.
ELIAS: Ah, yes. And in that, I would express that this is the reason that this one word of “enough” can be so powerful, because it moves you away from those “shoulds” or “have-tos.” If you can remind yourself of that one word in a moment, “It is enough” or “I am enough.” In that, it alters the urgency and the importance of the “shoulds” and “have-tos.”
JASON: And simply reminding myself of that ...? Like I'm playing with that right now, and I could feel the energy change a little bit.
ELIAS: Yes, it can generate a significant difference in relation to any subject. It matters not what it is. It can be ...
JASON: So I can apply this to everything?
ELIAS: EVERYTHING!
JASON: Because “enough” is satisfied, being satisfied.
ELIAS: Yes. And in that, it matters not what it is.
JASON: The automatic association that comes up is that if I do that, then I'm accepting that this is good to stay this way (laugh), which you're saying that not the case.
ELIAS: That, I will express, is not correct. Remember the principle: You always create more. Therefore, that idea that if you are satisfied with what is, and if you are expressing that what is is enough, that you will stagnate, that you will merely express that and you will never move forward or you will never generate more, which is incorrect. You always generate more; therefore, in that, it is a matter of recognizing that the more satisfied you are, the more satisfied you will become. The more you are expressing to yourself that you are enough and every situation or expression is enough, the more satisfaction you will create.
JASON: Just to clear up, I did say that it's enough to remind myself, but at the same time, thought doesn't create or thought doesn't change my energy.
ELIAS: Correct. But, once again, it is enough to move it.
JASON: Okay, to change the aspects.
ELIAS: Yes. Because, in that, that one word reminds you, and through that reminder, your attention automatically moves, and therefore your energy automatically changes. Even merely expressing that one word, you might notice in a moment that your energy relaxes. It may be even a SLIGHT relaxation, but it does generate an immediate change.
JASON: I love it. (Laughs) I mean, the allowance has been good enough, but this is really great. (Both laugh)
So for subjects where I still have habitual reactions of worry and doubt, it seems to me that it would just be a matter of training to replace that with “enough.”
ELIAS: It is a matter of practice. As I have expressed many times previously, that is the key. How do you change something that you don't believe into something that you do believe? Practice; repetition – that is what does it.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: Just as I have expressed previously, anything that you perceive at this point in your life as an issue or a problem or an old repetitive expression that is bothersome to you or that isn't comfortable for you, ANYTHING in that direction you learned, and you learned it through repetition. You didn't begin believing it; you learned to believe it by repetition.
JASON: It strikes me that this state of allowing, this expression of “enough,” combined with what I know about intentions, is leading me in the direction which I want to go, which is in following the path or the example of our friend Lester [Levenson, who developed the “Release Technique”].
ELIAS: Yes. Yes, I would agree.
JASON: That's great. (Laughs)
Separate issue, with the last few minutes remaining, is I've begun ... in very small ways, but I intend to do more so, is to present information, in particular to my children, that is empowering for them. So I've started with a couple of examples, like even the idea – this is a funny example – where my son had thrown a temper tantrum after he was playing video games and he was asked to do a chore, and I was explaining to him later on, after he had calmed down, that when you're intentionally focused on something and concentrating, particularly on electronics or something like that, that you can react to an interruption way out of proportion; it's not something you would normally want to behave in that way, but it's tied to being focused and attending to that. He replied right away with an example where I had done the same thing when I was interrupted at the computer. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Which is a validation.
JASON: Right. So the question would be just more on what do you think maybe are some of the easier topics or ways to share this information? And maybe I don't need specifics, maybe it's just go with the flow.
ELIAS: I would definitely express that, for that is the greatest example, and I would express that you all learn by example more than any other method. That is the most powerful expression. And children are almost input machines (laughs). They are absorbing information every moment, including when they are sleeping. This is their primary function, is to be absorbing information, and they do it very well. And in that, example is the most powerful expression that they absorb, much more so than words. Actions: they watch, they observe. Even when it seems that they are not paying attention, they are paying attention, they are absorbing. And in that, what I would express to you is, if you are allowing yourself to move in that natural direction of your flow, and you are empowering yourself – AND if you are not being reactive, –
JASON: Mm-hm, that's a huge one.
ELIAS: [Audio cut off], and they learn through that example. And in that, if they don't understand how you do whatever it is that you are doing, they will ask.
JASON: Okay. So it sounds like this is tied to if I'm pursuing my own being of greatest benefit to myself, I'm being of greatest benefit to them as well.
ELIAS: Definitely. I cannot emphasize that strongly enough. It is an automatic byproduct. And in that, you are teaching them the importance of placing themselves in that primary position, that their greatest benefit, and everyone around them, is that they perceive themselves in that primary position. When they are being responsible to themself, they are being responsible to everyone and everything.
In that, I would express that it's also a matter or reinforcing that concept of interconnectedness, for that is how you are responsible to self. It is recognition of that factor of interconnectedness. You are not alone, you are not an island to yourselves, but that you are interconnected with everything. And therefore, everything you do to yourself, you do to everything around you. Everything you do to whatever is around you, you do to yourself; it moves in both directions.
JASON: Excellent! Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
Another stimulating conversation! (Laughs) I express tremendous encouragement to you, my friend, and a tremendous acknowledgement of all that you are accomplishing. Well done! (Chuckles)
JASON: Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: Until our next meeting, in wondrous lovingness to you as always, and in dear friendship, au revoir.
JASON: Goodbye.
(Elias departs after 59 minutes)
©2016 Mary Ennis. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright 2016 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.