Being Present, Flowing and Trusting
Topics:
"Being Present, Flowing and Trusting"
"Acknowledge What You Are Feeling"
"What Are You Paying Attention To, and How Are You Paying Attention to It?"
"Wants and Desires"
Session 20160415
"Being Present, Flowing and Trusting"
"Acknowledge What You Are Feeling"
"What Are You Paying Attention To, and How Are You Paying Attention to It?"
"Wants and Desires"
Friday, April 15, 2016 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and JASON (Spensar)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
JASON: Hi, Elias.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And what shall we discuss?
JASON: Let’s see… Well, let’s see. Where do I want to start?
ELIAS: Deep contemplation! (Laughs)
JASON: I am discovering the many ways I trip myself up—my pitfalls, per se.
ELIAS: Interesting.
JASON: Which I would define as the way that I take myself out of the state of everything being easy and working.
ELIAS: What do you notice in how you do that?
JASON: Well, it frequently involves anticipation, expectations. For example, I was working with the question “Where am I?” quite a bit this week.
ELIAS: Yes?
JASON: And I created some very interesting experiences and really pleasant experiences. Then I found myself trying to force certain states and experiences.
ELIAS: Ah, and in that, what would you say, or what would your assessment be of what types of experiences you are attempting to force and when?
JASON: Twofold, a couple of things. One is I have worked with “Where am I?” previously a little bit, but this was the first time I’ve actually spent most of every day for almost a week spending quite a bit of time on it, sometimes using it as sort of a meditation, at least for me. Previously I tried it, and it didn’t seem that I was, I don’t know, able to appreciate it, or it didn’t attract that much. When I put, let’s say, more of a continuous focus on it, I did notice that it changed, for example, my relationship to time.
An example would be you are doing something on the treadmill or going for a walk. The treadmill is good because it’s kind of monotonous, and you are kind of watching the clock to spend 30 minutes or whatever on the treadmill or something like that. In practicing that “Where am I?” question, I noticed that I didn’t really care about the time, that I was more in the present. I had no interest in looking down at the clock or very little interest, that type of experience of being less bothered, less...
ELIAS: Less tethered.
JASON: Tethered. Separately, another issue, which is a general comfortableness, that when you can really get into the present your physical tension kind of melts away. This was a day after a long day of meetings with clients. I’d kind of gotten absorbed or lost into that and was ending the day. I had quite a bit of tension that I was dealing with, and I was trying to get back to that pleasant, light state again, and it just wasn’t working.
ELIAS: Now, this in actuality is quite common and an illustration of the attraction of feelings, and it gives you the opportunity to observe how feelings are affecting and influencing of you and what you do and your motivation. For in this, when you experience in a manner that feels good, you want to maintain that. You want to recreate it if you slip out of it. That is what creates that influence of pushing, for you are not actually being present, in which you would feel comfortable and you likely would feel good naturally. You are moving out of being present and out of the now. You are concentrating on what was and attempting to force it to be what is. In that, what generally occurs is the reverse, that you become uncomfortable.
This is also an example of what I have expressed previously in relation to extremes. In many situations, individuals do not necessarily identify or define some extremes as being extreme, but they are in relation to this very subject, in which the individual is thinking about an experience and a feeling that they had, likely when they were being more present or being more now, and in that wanting to what they think of as maintaining it – which is not actually maintaining it; it is recreating it – and in that, then they begin thinking about what they can do to recapture that feeling and that experience.
An individual is, let us say, engaging a task that might actually involve work but they are enjoying it, and while they are enjoying it they are not noticing the passage of time. They are not concerned with that. They are genuinely feeling good while they are generating this task. In that, when the task is completed, subsequently the individual begins thinking about what they were feeling and what they were experiencing while they were engaging in that task. Then what they do is they attempt to do another action that is similar to it: If I was enjoying myself doing this, if I do something similar I will enjoy myself doing that also. But then they do not, necessarily, and it is not necessarily comfortable. That is the expression of pushing to an extreme.
Now, the individual does not think about it as being an extreme. They think they are merely engaging another action, that…
JASON: Subsequently, I noticed it was an extreme.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Which is excellent! For most…
JASON: I created the feedback, too, the reflection.
ELIAS: Yes, yes.
JASON: And the subsequent uncomfortable experience.
ELIAS: Yes, and in many situations when you are attempting to recreate that feeling and that experience, other individuals do become involved, for other individuals notice for they are around you, and they generally will be reflecting to you in an uncomfortable manner because you are pushing.
JASON: That morning, before that uncomfortable experience, I had a really positive experience where basically I had achieved almost a magnetic state where I felt very present, very light, floating, and it was very easy to find what I needed. I was traveling for work, so getting off into the airport and just simply wandering off in a certain direction and very easily coming upon what I wanted. The next thought was that “I need to go here.” I could trust myself walking off in the next direction, and where I needed to be showed up very easily. At the same time I’m getting the other feedback, which is lots and lots of eye contact that goes on with that state.
ELIAS: Yes, and the reason for that is, figuratively speaking, when you are in that state you are glowing, figuratively speaking. But energetically it is, in actuality, almost literal, for individuals definitely notice your energy. They may not be objectively aware of what they are noticing, but they notice you, for your energy becomes more extended, and in a manner of speaking it glows. They are attracted to it, and they notice it, and in that, they pay attention. As I expressed, they may not know what they are paying attention to or why, but they are attracted—very similar to the moths.
JASON: That in itself is very interesting, because I don’t notice a change in my physical surroundings or if I’m sitting in my office, but it’s also very easy to... Which leads to, actually, another question I had, which is when I am present, if I try to be present, I find that it’s very similar to the experience I would create if I said, “Let me practice trusting myself.”
ELIAS: Yes, for that is what you are doing.
JASON: It’s the same thing?
ELIAS: Yes. Therefore, it is very similar, for that is what you are doing—you are trusting yourself.
JASON: That’s why it’s very easy to find whatever you’re looking for.
ELIAS: And you are flowing. That is a very significant factor, that flow. I express information and conversations about flowing very frequently. Individuals do not quite yet understand what that means or what the appearance of that is, what they are doing when they are flowing.
When you are flowing, it is not necessary for you to be thinking; you merely do. In that, the trust aspect is involved in that not thinking. You merely know. You are not questioning, you are not wondering, “Where should I go; what direction should I proceed in?” You merely do it.
JASON: Okay, interesting. So, I had stopped using that question the last couple of days. I’d been more focusing on, more recently, on acceptance and satisfaction just to counteract the discounting that can occur when things don’t work out the way you expected. I was, again, practicing being present, but I was using more of the idea of experiencing my presence or my existence kind of in a gentle way, not using... When you use the thought, like the question and the thinking, it can be tricky.
ELIAS: Yes, I would very much agree.
JASON: Do you think, at some point, it’s worth just dropping the... Or am I jumping the gun here and going too early, dropping the questions or dropping that technique, or should I still be using that technique?
ELIAS: No, I would express that it is beneficial, that it is a beneficial practice. What I would express to you is that it is merely a matter of catching yourself with the thinking, and reminding yourself what the function of thinking is. That can be a valuable tool, to remind yourself.
What is thinking? What is the function of thinking? For you rely on thinking for so many different expressions that thinking is not actually for, that is not its function. Thinking is translating. Thinking is used to translate any avenue of communication. It identifies and translates. Therefore, your senses are communication avenues: your impressions, your emotions, your body.
JASON: I hear what you’re saying, but it’s also that we’re coming from the perspective of already being entangled in thoughts. I can drop the thinking when I have achieved a certain level of presence, but up until that point it’s...
ELIAS: I am aware; I am understanding. In that, it is a matter of catching yourself when you are thinking, thinking, thinking. It is a matter of that question, “What am I doing?” In that is also that “Where am I?” question. For in that “Where am I?”, I am in my head.
JASON: Yeah. That’s hard from my point of view, to make that distinction. If I’m in my head, I’m not...
ELIAS: Aware that you are in your head. (Laughs) I am very much understanding, and I acknowledge that. That is the point of being more present, to be aware when you are in your head.
In that, I would also express that this is another excellent reason that it is important to be aware of what you are feeling. For thinking definitely does affect or influence what you feel. It affects what you feel physically, and it affects what you feel emotionally. Therefore, in that, even if you cannot catch yourself in the thinking, thinking, thinking, if you can be more aware of what you are feeling, that can be an excellent trigger. For if you are thinking and you can be aware of what you are feeling, that can help you to catch yourself in that.
JASON: I think along those lines, what I’m trying to do in that circumstance where it’s not working is I’m trying to use that question to drive away the bad feelings or the uncomfortable feelings. I think keeping that in mind, and then also the idea of acceptance to take a more gentle approach with it.
ELIAS: Definitely, but I would also express that this is the point of being aware of feelings and being aware whenever you are attempting to push them away and reminding yourself feelings are signals. They are important, and it is important to acknowledge them.
JASON: I understand what you’re saying. I definitely have made big improvements over the last year, but I still am a beginner at the feeling aspect.
ELIAS: Let me express to you in this manner: If you cannot remember that, what you might remember is whatever you are feeling, if you are trying to push it away or trying to ignore it, you will feel it more later.
JASON: In that circumstance, where I was a little tense and had been rushed around and had been in meetings all day long and I had some uncomfortable tension and feelings, is there something to address that, or is it just to acknowledge it and accept it?
ELIAS: You can address to it. The first piece is to acknowledge it. Acknowledge what you are feeling. That is the first, most important piece. The reason that is so important is that in itself that breaks the energy. When you stop for that second and you acknowledge that feeling, up until that moment the reason that you are experiencing that tension is that you are fighting with the feeling. You are fighting with it and attempting to push it away, and that is the reason that you notice and you feel the build of that tension and that energy, or you feel restless. This is the reason. In that, when you acknowledge what you are feeling, it breaks that action of fighting with it. Therefore that, in itself, changes a part of it immediately.
Now, it may not dissipate the feeling itself, that signal itself, entirely or completely, but it will diminish it to a degree, for it allows you to breathe and it allows you to relax. You stop fighting. Then, once you stop fighting, it is much easier to remember those other factors: if I push this away, it will only return stronger later. It will. Or if I push this away, I am not benefiting myself; I am holding energy. Every time I push this away, there moves that energy into that container again, and I am setting myself in a direction to blow up, and you will, in some form. You will create some situation, some experience that will match that held energy, and it will be more extreme.
JASON: Can you talk about the “Where am I?” question as the progression of using that? The way I currently use it is, in the beginning, if I haven’t been present or paying attention, I will repeat the question more frequently. But over time, as I can feel I’m kind of moving into the senses and there’s more of a sense of myself, then gradually the timing of the questions will get fewer and fewer, at least for that session. Does that sound about right?
ELIAS: Clarify that.
JASON: Well, if I ask myself the “Where am I?” question, and I say, “Okay, I’m sitting in my office,” I pause after I answer that, and I experience.
ELIAS: Very well.
JASON: But very quickly, thoughts come back. The more that I’ve been asking the question, the longer it is between... I wouldn’t say thoughts, but when I’m caught in thoughts.
ELIAS: I would express that it may be a matter of expanding that. When you ask yourself that question, expand it to include more than your environment. I would express that initially that is enough, and it is an excellent method to pull you into the now; but if you expand it, it will also aid you in being more present, for it is not only a matter of where are you physically. Where are you in relation to what you are paying attention to? Where is your attention? You may be physically in your office, and asking yourself that question in a physical capacity is a tremendous benefit, for it is the beginning and it does allow you to, first of all, be more in the now—but being in the now is not being present.
Therefore if you are engaging that question a step further in relation to what are you paying attention to, what is consuming your attention in that now? Where was your attention being directed when you asked the question “Where am I?” In that, it allows you to be more aware. Are you projecting? Is your attention in the past? Is your attention in the future? Are you anticipating? Is your attention in the now but in some other location? Thinking about what someone else is doing or what is happening in some other area that you are not in? Therefore, it is a matter of expanding that question to include more than your physical surroundings, but to include what you are doing, which includes what you are paying attention to.
Ultimately, that becomes the most important factor, and I cannot emphasize that strongly enough. Ultimately, the most important factor is where your attention is being directed, what you are paying attention to, and as you have expressed, how you are paying attention to it.
JASON: Should I just be asking myself “What am I paying attention to?”, or is that perhaps too direct?
ELIAS: No, it is not too direct. I would express that if you can ask yourself those questions, and remember to ask yourself those questions, that would be excellent, for that will be your greatest tool in being more present.
JASON: Yeah. I can definitely do that. I also set reminders for myself. I’ll use my phone and set a recording that will go every minute or so to remind me of the question.
ELIAS: Excellent: “What are you paying attention to?”
JASON: It’s tricky. It’s quick.
ELIAS: In that, that is the most important, for that is the most significant element that influences your perception, and that affects everything. It affects your physical reality; it affects your mood; it affects your energy; it affects what you feel physically and emotionally. It affects everything. How you interact, what you interact with, what your choices are, everything is affected by what you pay attention to and how you are paying attention to it.
JASON: Along that line, I’ve been exploring a lot of different aspects with these types of questions, and what I’ve found, to give an example, with studying the influence of beliefs, is that at first I have no idea where to look, what to look for, but then you start to get some glimpses and all of a sudden it becomes really easy, as long as you’re clear and present. Is it a similar process?
ELIAS: Yes, yes. I would very much agree. This is what I have been expressing to all of you, for I would express that most of you separate this idea that being present is so difficult or requires so much energy. It is precisely the reverse. It is not difficult, and it requires so much less energy than you are expressing with everything else. It requires a considerable amount of energy for you to be concentrating in repeat thinking or to be thinking about how to maintain being comfortable. Everything you do in which you are not being present and therefore not flowing requires so much more energy, for it requires concentration. Being present does not require concentration—it merely is being.
JASON: It can be so pleasant. That’s all I want.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I would agree. What is another important factor about that is that no, you are not creating utopia, but even in situations in which you may disagree or there may be some uncomfortable factors in what you are experiencing, you will very quickly notice that it has a very different quality to it, that even something that could be occurring that is uncomfortable is not uncomfortable to the degree that it is otherwise, and it has a different quality to it in which you are not necessarily labeling it automatically as bad. It has a quality to it of interest, which is very different from most of what you identify as uncomfortable. For most of what you identify as uncomfortable, you dislike and you want to push away and are not interested in it. If you are interested in something, it changes the quality of it.
JASON: Interesting. Obviously, you’ve changed what you’re paying attention to…
ELIAS: Precisely. I would express that physical expressions are an excellent example of that. Individuals, if they are experiencing an uncomfortable physical feeling that you could even identify as painful, if you are paying attention to it in the manner – or how you are paying attention to it – in the manner that you are automatically judging it as bad, you don’t like it and you want it to go away. You could generate the identical same feeling, and if how you are paying attention to it is interesting, the entire dynamic changes. It does not mean that that feeling is automatically comfortable—it may not be. But how you are paying attention to it in that different capacity changes the entire dynamic of it.
It changes your perception of it, which is the point, which is what we began with in relation to your attention is the single most affecting factor in relation to your perception. What you pay attention to is what influences your perception. Your perception creates all of your reality. Therefore, if your perception is that something is bad, then yes, you want to push it away. You want it to stop. If your expression is that you are paying attention to an experience and you are being present, then whatever that experience is begins to incorporate a factor of interest. It does not mean that you may be fascinated with it, but a factor of interest becomes included with it, and that changes it entirely.
JASON: I guess you could apply that to looking at any aspect of your life.
ELIAS: Definitely. Everything, anything.
JASON: Interesting. Okay. The next thing I wanted to ask you through these type of questions, either the “Where am I?” or focusing on what I’m paying attention to, there’s a number of people that have recommended the question “What am I?”
ELIAS: Ah, yes, that is the age-old question.
JASON: They recommend that as an accepted way to whatever experience, to develop interesting experiences or spiritual fulfillment.
ELIAS: Perhaps, but what I would express to you is that can be somewhat tricky. The reason that I speak to all of you in the manner that I do is because in many, many capacities how I speak to you is unfamiliar. Therefore, in many capacities you are not generating automatic associations. If what you are expressing to yourself is worded differently, you are more likely to consider it or to pay attention to it or to contemplate. That question “What am I?” or even “Who am I?”—those questions are, literally, the age-old questions. They are so familiar that...
JASON: I can understand that there’s a huge resistance. I’ve known about that question my entire life. I don’t ever practiced it because...
ELIAS: Precisely. One of the reasons that you don’t do it is that there is an automatic association that you don’t think about, that this is an unanswerable question. Therefore, you don’t even attempt to pursue it. Therefore, I would express that if you are altering your perception somewhat, you could use that question. The reason that I express the question differently, in relation to where are you and what are you paying attention to, is that those are not familiar questions. You don’t already have an automatic association with those questions.
JASON: Is that similar to…I think you used to talk a lot more about acceptance, where nowadays you seem to talk more about satisfaction.
ELIAS: Yes. For at this point, I have been engaging conversations with all of you for, in your terms, a considerable amount of time. You all have incorporated a considerable amount of time to become very familiar with certain terminology. In that, you have developed your own definitions of said terminology. Individuals use that word of "acceptance" in very different capacities than what I have expressed it to be. But it has become very commonplace. Individuals no longer are thinking about it or associating with it in the same manner. It has become a common word to them. Therefore…
JASON: And everyone practices it all the time anyway now, so... (Laughs)
ELIAS: (Laughs) Absolutely! I would express that I am aware when words are becoming too familiar. In that, then I change them again and incorporate different words and different concepts to continue to encourage all of you to continue to evaluate and pay attention.
JASON: Another question, and this goes back to something Lester Levenson had said, which was that if you were in the state of beingness, whatever you want would basically come to you, even if you had locked yourself in a room—that there would be no way to stop what you wanted to come to you, or something similar to that. Clearly you can’t do it intentionally to avoid it, because then you would have changed your intention.
ELIAS: Correct, correct. But I would express that if you were in a state of acceptance, I would agree. You would not be able to avoid drawing to you what I would say is what you desire. For, there are automatic associations with the ideas of wants, that wants are always expressed in some positive terms.
JASON: I’ve heard, I think, your definitions, but can you provide maybe an example of a want and maybe a desire that encompasses that want but is a bit larger than the want?
ELIAS: Yes. First of all, wants are specific in one direction, one expression, one concept, and they are always about what you perceive you don’t have. You want whatever you do not already have. Therefore, you want to acquire.
Desires can include wants, but they are broader than wants, for wants are expressed in a direction of what you think is to your benefit. You want something or you want an expression because you think that will benefit you. You think that it will be an expression of more, but wants are connected to whatever your awareness is at the time. Therefore, they are limited. They move in singular directions, and therefore, also, they are limited. They do not allow for a broader spectrum of how an expression could be accomplished.
In this, the desire is always to your greatest benefit, always moving in the direction of your greatest satisfaction and your greatest comfort. But that can be accomplished through a direction that may not necessarily be what you think you want.
Let me offer an example. Let me express that, let us say, you are very uncomfortable with certain individuals in your family, in your extended family, or let us say with your in-laws. Let us say that they irritate you, they are very judgmental, and that you are very uncomfortable with them. But because of your immediate family, your partner and your children, you do not see objectively any choice that you could engage that would stop including them in your experience.
Now, let us say you want to not have to interact with them any longer. Now, the desire may include that want. Let us say that your desire is to be comfortable with the individuals that you interact with and to include in your interactions only individuals that genuinely honor you.
JASON: Okay. The desire is the way you want to live your life, in a manner of speaking?
ELIAS: It can be, yes, but it is more inclusive to your whole being.
Now, in that, let us say that in relation to your desire and in association with what your awareness is at the time – for remember, wants are limited to what your awareness is at the time – at the time, your awareness is you cannot see any choice that would allow you to move forward and not include these individuals in your experience. In that, let us say you begin expressing or displaying behaviors that are very irritating to those individuals, and they become very judgmental about them. They may even be irritating to you, but you continue to do them. You may not even know why you are doing them. Let us say that you are continuously instigating arguments or conflicts with these individuals, and let us say that you are demonstrating being as judgmental towards them as you perceive that they are towards you. All the while you are noticing your own behavior and not necessarily liking it, but you continue to do it. Within, let us say, not a long time framework, these individuals become so irritated with you and so judgmental of you that now they refuse to interact with you at all. Whenever there is a family dinner or a holiday, they refuse to interact with you.
Therefore, the family may connect with each other without you with that aspect of the family, and then your immediate family will include you in a different expression with these gatherings or holidays. Let us say that once that begins, after an initial uncomfortable time period, it becomes routine. Everyone in your immediate family accepts that and is not necessarily bothered by it any longer, and it merely becomes what you do. Now, in that, your desire aided you, with the awareness that you had at the time, to create what you want but not necessarily in the manner that you expected. Therefore, you created what you wanted, but you may not see that because it will not be accomplished in the manner that you expected or in a manner that you would have planned. But it accomplished, regardless, for the desire is broader than the want, but it can include the want.
JASON: Would it be fair to say that as you’re expanding your awareness, you are more capable of including the wants?
ELIAS: Yes. In that, beyond being more capable of including the want, you are more open to recognizing that your want can be accomplished in many more directions than only one plan. There are more answers; there are more directions than either/or.
JASON: If I could just ask one quick question; I know the time. I haven’t asked you this directly, but obviously important to me from a perspective of addressing my discounting or devaluing, am I making progress in that? Because I went through a period where, I mean, I feel great now and everything, but I go through ups and downs like everyone.
ELIAS: I would express that you have generated considerable progress in that direction and have been considerably successful.
JASON: Okay. Maybe next time, the next session, we’ll spend some time on specific pockets. In the meantime, I’ll work on what I’m paying attention to and how.
ELIAS: Excellent! And I shall be offering my energy to you in encouragement and support in that.
JASON: Thank you very much, Elias. This is a lot of fun, very exciting.
ELIAS: Wondrous lovingness to you, my dear friend, as always. Au revoir.
JASON: Bye.
(Elias departs after 1 hour.)
©2016 Mary Ennis. All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2016 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.