Yes, No, and Love
“The Most Affecting Terms in Your Language: ‘Love,’ ‘Yes,’ and ‘No’”
“Echoing: Giving Away Your Power and Not Intentionally Creating Your Reality”
“Now Is the Time to Simplify and Act”
Saturday, October 25, 2014 (Group/Brattleboro, Vermont)
PARTICIPANTS: Mary (Michael), Adam (Avril), Ann (Vivette), Berni (Flora), Brighter, Brigitt (Camile), Carole (Aileen), Daniel (Zynn), Anon, Debbie (Tamarra), Denise (Azura), Frank (X-tian), Jean (Lyla), Jean-Francois (Samta), John (Lon), John (Rrussell), Kathy, Ken (Oba), Lynda (Ruther), Marcos (Marta), Margarete, Natasha (Nichole), Patricia (Treice), Peter (Magnus), Phillip, Rodney (Zacharie), Sandra (Atafah), Val (Atticus)
(Elias’ arrival time is 20 seconds)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
GROUP: Good afternoon, Elias!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! And shall I surprise you with our subject matter? (Laughter)
ANN: You’re going to talk about “maybe,” right?
ELIAS: (Chuckles) I am aware that all of you have been anxiously anticipating this interaction and this subject matter of the most affecting terms in your language, the three words that incorporate the greatest constructs of any words of your language.
Now; in this, I will engage you slightly differently in this interaction. I shall offer the subject, which you already know. The three words are “love,” “yes,” “no.”
Now; in this, I will engage all of you and offer you the opportunity to express examples of any of these words that are confusing to you, to offer questions in relation to constructs, what the constructs are and how they are expressed, and to engage an active interaction between us all – including yourselves with each other in this conversation. This, rather than being merely what you would term to be a lecture by myself, will be more effective and more efficient if you each are participating in this subject. This is a complicated subject, and it is confusing. Therefore, in that, I will be engaging with each of you to discuss this concept and these words and how affecting they are.
We will begin in relation to mundane actions, and from that we can expand into other subjects that you may deem to be more important. Once again, I will reiterate: all choices are choices. One choice is not more important than any other choice, but I am understanding that you deem certain choices as more important than other choices or larger than other choices.
In that, as we begin with simple mundane actions and choices, we can develop that into more complicated choices or those choices that you deem to be more important and more affecting of your life, so to speak, which would include jobs, relationships, money, choices of directions, what you do with your life, your interests, your curiosities, even sexuality. Those are subjects that you deem to be more significant or important, but it is also important for you to understand that you are generating these choices in every moment of every day within your life.
From the moment you rise in the morning until the moment that you retire to bed at night, you are generating choices every moment, and in every choice that you express, you are expressing yes and no. You are expressing yes to one expression and no to another, and there are reasons that you do that. And this is important, for what is the objective, or what is one of the most important objectives in this shift, is that you are intentionally creating your reality.
You are always creating every aspect of your reality, but you are not always intentionally creating your reality. This is the reason that you create many situations and expressions in your reality that you do not like or that you do not want or that you do understand. When you are intentionally creating your reality by knowing what every one of your choices is and why you are choosing it, you have the ability and the power to create your reality intentionally.
When you actually assimilate this aspect of information in relation to these three words, when you genuinely assimilate it and can apply it, you will have moved forward in such a tremendous capacity in your own individual shifting that you will be almost complete. That is how important these three words are and how affecting these three words are.
Now; before we begin the discussion, let me reiterate the definition of love. Love is not limited to people; it is not limited even to living things. Love can be expressed in association with objects, with concepts, with philosophies, with ideas, with expressions such as art or music. Love can be expressed in many, many, many different manners in relation to many, many, many different manifestations, for the actual definition of love is knowing and appreciation. What does that mean? Knowing is not necessarily understanding; understanding is not a requirement for knowing. Knowing is an inward expression that you generate in relation to any other expression of consciousness, whether it be a manifestation or not, and in that, you resonate with it to an extent that you are merged with it.
Now; this is not a physical action. This is an energetic action, and when you are merged with another expression, you know it. Even if you do not understand it, you know it; you can feel it.
Now; this feeling is different from emotional feelings. Emotional feelings are signals. Love is not a feeling, but it does generate an inward feeling of wholeness, that you are not separate from what you know. If you gaze at a painting and you know that art – regardless of the artist, regardless of the medium, regardless of the strokes, you gaze at a painting and you connect with it – in that, you generate a feeling within you that is different from emotional feelings. You feel it, in your terms, in your gut and it pulls you. You can feel an actual energy pull. You are merged with that expression. The energy of the expression is meeting your energy, and you are merging with it. When you listen to music or when you play music and you feel in your gut that pull towards the music, you know it. You are merged with it. In that, in that mergence, in that knowing, it creates a genuine appreciation, and you genuinely are consumed with that knowing, that pull and that appreciation.
This is not an emotional feeling. Affection is an emotional feeling that many if not most individuals confuse with love when they assign it that word, but it is not love. It is affection, and you can express affection with many, many, many expressions and manifestations, and not love. You can express love without affection. You do not necessarily express affection for a composition of music or a painting or a sculpture or a car – one moment – but you can express love for those manifestations.
Love can be expressed to manifestations that are not living. You can love an expression of architecture, you can love a fabric, you can love a design of fashion – for it is not an emotional expression, it is a knowing and an appreciation. In that appreciation, there is what you would term to be complete acceptance, and that is also what you feel. You feel within you, within your body consciousness, a freedom of that complete acceptance.
Now; this is the reason that I have expressed repeatedly that there are many individuals within your world that have not experienced love, not genuinely, for they have not allowed themself that genuine expression of mergence in which they genuinely incorporate that knowing and that appreciation and that complete acceptance.
You can do this with other individuals and not do it always. You can express genuine love in relation to another individual and not be expressing that consistently or constantly, for you may not be focused upon that mergence with the other individual. You may not understand the other individual’s expression, but you can express that love for them, regardless. Therefore, this is an illustration: understanding is not a requirement to be expressing love.
Now; that being expressed, the other factor that I will preface our discussion with is in relation to the yes and no. Yes and no are much less absolute than you think they are. In many situations, yes can mean no, and no can mean yes. The fact that you are expressing yes or no does not mean that you are absolutely expressing what that word means, for they are interchangeable. They are definitely not absolute. They are the two words in your language, even regardless of your dictionaries, that are interchangeable. One can mean the other dependent upon the situation, dependent upon the subject, dependent upon what you are engaging. Therefore, it can be confusing in what you may be expressing yes and no to, for they are interchangeable. They may as well be one word, a yes/no word, which is only one word rather than two words.
In that, as I expressed previously, every choice that you generate involves both of these words, every choice. You never generate a choice without involving both of these words.
RODNEY: You and I have discussed the feeling of connectedness like I have with a horse or a bear, and I’m wondering, your description of this knowing seems to be incorporated in that connectedness.
RODNEY: Would you affirm that?
ELIAS: Yes, yes.
RODNEY: Thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are very welcome. (Laughs)
Now; we will begin our discussion. In this, as I am so very familiar with your reluctance to participate voluntarily, I will be engaging you to prompt you to be engaging in the conversation and the discussion. But yes?
ANON: How do essences say yes or no, or do they say yes or no?
ELIAS: Excellent question. No, they do not.
ANON: So they say maybe all the time?
ELIAS: What I would express to you is this is an expression that you generate within physical reality. It is associated with your beliefs, which dictate to you what is good, bad, right and wrong. There is no good, bad, right or wrong within consciousness. There is no emotional expression within consciousness. There are no feelings. Therefore, the concept of yes or no is irrelevant and unnecessary.
In this, you function with a system of beliefs, which is a part of your blueprint in your reality, and that is interplayed in everything you do. It generates a guideline in which you express assessments of every expression within your world. Every expression within your universe you filter through the lens of your belief systems. In that, you are always generating evaluations, and in that, this is not the duplicity of your reality but the duality of your reality. Your reality does incorporate a duality. It is a part also of your blueprint. In this, in all of your philosophies, in all of your religions, there is the duality, the good and the bad.
ANON: So by engaging one thing and by saying yes, aren’t you then also experiencing the no?
ELIAS: Yes, precisely, yes, and that is what I am expressing. Every choice involves both. Every choice involves a yes and a no simultaneously. Whatever you choose to express no to, you are also expressing yes in some capacity. Whatever you choose to express yes to, you are also expressing no in some capacity. That is the duality of your reality, and that is where your power lies, in knowing that and being aware of what you are choosing and why and what is influencing that.
In this, as I have expressed previously in relation to different expressions of attachments, I have expressed that you may be aware of attachments and you may actually choose them. You may agree with them or certain aspects of them. In a similar manner, you may agree with certain aspects of constructs, and therefore, you may actually choose to be expressing them, regardless. The difference is that you know you are choosing them. You are not choosing them automatically or by rote. You are choosing them intentionally, and you know why you are choosing them intentionally. In this also, expressing that constructs are not necessarily bad or another expression that you should be eliminating, it is important to understand that you accept many, many, many constructs without being objectively aware of it, and therefore, you merely express actions and choices automatically by rote. In this, that is not empowering; that is not directing.
Now; also, as we recently expressed in an individual session, for centuries upon centuries upon centuries as humans you have become very accustomed to being led and not generating your own choices but following the dictates and the directions of a few, and accepting that. Your structures in your societies, developed through the structures of your families, encouraged this. You do what you are told by your parents or by individuals that are authorities or older than yourselves, for this is what you are taught from very young ages, in actuality from birth. Individuals are very accustomed to not generating their own choices in relation to their own preferences. This also very much involves your own individual guidelines.
Therefore, this is a considerably complex subject, for each of you incorporates your individual guidelines, your individual personalities, your individual flow of energy, and this yes/no is involved with all of that and is influencing, and vice versa. Your guidelines are influencing in how you express that yes/no. Therefore, this is a significant subject.
I am acknowledging that most of you are not necessarily thrilled with this subject, but you will be when you are tremendously more empowered than you are now and you are consistently creating what you want to be creating in your reality – and not merely what you think you want but what you genuinely want, and know it.
PHILLIP: It seems to me we were indoctrinated into all kinds of systems that we don’t even think about from birth on. This is the time when we need to start reevaluating all of those systems, those automatic indoctrinations that we have taken on, and start questioning where that came from and if it’s really serving us. That’s where the yes/no comes in, and being aware in each moment and making a solid conscious choice.
ELIAS: Precisely. Who would comment on that statement? Do you agree?
VAL: It has a lot to do with the government and the way it’s set up, saying yes and no.
ELIAS: That is a factor. I would express that there are many individuals that offer much more power to the idea of government than it deserves or than it actually expresses, for you automatically generate a subservient role to an idea. Are your politicians residing in your home? No. Have you met your politicians? Have any of you met your politicians?
ANN: Do I know who they are?
ELIAS: Precisely. (Laughter) But you offer tremendous power to individuals that you do not know, that you have not objectively met, that you have not physically engaged.
This is a significant point, for this point – moving back to the mundane and the not as big choices – most of you, if not all of you in varying degrees, generate the action of involving yourselves in expressions that do not involve you. That is investing yourself in expressions or individuals that do not involve you and giving that power to those expressions or individuals that you are not even engaging.
How many times can you be engaging a conversation with another individual, a friend, that expresses a severe irritation in relation to an experience that they engaged earlier in their day, and they are so irritated that they had an encounter with another individual that was so rude and so obnoxious, and you listen and you begin to echo: ”I know what you mean. I hate that when the individual expresses that way.” In that, what are you doing? You are involving yourself in a situation that does not involve you. You were not engaging the individual that was rude. You may not even know the individual that was rude, but you are echoing, and you are giving your power to the individual that you are engaging conversation with. You no longer are expressing your power. You handed it to the individual that is angry, and you are echoing them. And what is that? You are following. You are no longer generating your choice. Do you even concern yourself with that individual that was rude that you do not know and you were not in that particular situation? Is it important to you? Likely not.
ANN: But some people would say – and I agree with you – but that you’re expressing compassion in this echo to this other person, supporting them, which you are not. I can see where it’s harmful or not beneficial but...
ELIAS: It is not necessarily harmful, but this is the point: to pause and to genuinely evaluate what would be an actual supportive or compassionate expression other than echoing, which is not supportive and is not compassionate, either.
In this, you can hear the individual, and you can express an acknowledgment to them: ”You are very angry.” You can acknowledge what they are expressing. You can be supportive in listening and allowing the other individual to express that energy rather than hold it. But that automatic reaction is another mundane action that you do very frequently, that you are acting by rote. You are not intentionally creating your reality.
PHILLIP: So does this go to the idea of primary and secondary experience as self-expressed, where your primary experience is your immediate surroundings? Really, you have to have that awareness. If you are expressing secondarily, reacting to things that don’t involve you, now you have kind of lost your focus in the present moment, and now you can’t make conscious choices that are going to carry you forward.
ELIAS: Precisely, yes, I would very much agree.
ANN: Can you play that on? Because this always comes up – tagging off him – people say if you don’t involve yourself in secondary experiences then the Nazis would have taken over, or we wouldn’t have involved ourselves to stop this atrocity.
PHILLIP: Well, we’re in a different framework today. This is a different framework than we were operating in before.
ELIAS: I would very much disagree!
ANN: Can you talk to that, then, about the secondary, involving yourself in that?
Now; this moves us to the expression of responsibility. When you are being responsible to you, you are aware of you. Automatically by extension, the automatic by-product of being responsible to you is that you will be being responsible with everyone and everything around you. That is an automatic by-product. The difficulty or the challenge is most individuals do not understand what that means to be responsible to yourself.
This is another aspect of the yes and no. It is a matter of being aware of yourself: who you are, what are your guidelines, what are your core truths – your own – what is your natural flow of energy, meaning what do you naturally generate. This moves us to the mundane again. What do you do in each day? What is the structure of your daily activities that does not necessarily involve other individuals? What are your preferences, and in that, being aware of your preferences, expressing them, being aware of your guidelines, what your core truth is, not expressing that and holding other individuals to that guideline, but expressing it yourself and expressing that acceptance of self, which is exceptionally important.
For let me express to you, whenever an individual expresses a judgment of blame in any capacity to another individual, that is a direct reflection of their own lack of acceptance within themself. Blame in any capacity is always an expression of the individual’s own lack of acceptance. Accusation of any form – it matters not that you may agree or disagree with the expression of another individual – when an individual accuses or blames, you are expressing a lack of acceptance of self and a lack of responsibility to self. When you find fault in another individual – not a disagreement – when you find fault in another individual, that is a reflection of some aspect of yourself that you are not being responsible to yourself with, or you are not being accepting within yourself, which is another factor in relation to this yes/no.
When you are expressing accusation or blame, when anyone expresses accusations or blame, you are expressing no to the other individual. You think you are right by saying no and that you are expressing yes or honoring yourself. You are expressing yes to yourself: you are expressing yes to hiding; you are expressing yes to shielding. “I will shield, and no, I will not accept you.” That is what you are expressing. This occurs in every action, in every day, in every moment – not blame, but that yes and no in what you are choosing that you are not even aware of.
Now; in relation to situations such as what you term to be a secondary expression – which is humorous, for there is no secondary; you are all interconnected – what you do with yourself is extended in your world. What is that that you express, the butterfly effect? It is very real. In that, what you express yourself is affecting on the other side of your world. You are all interconnected. In this, an individual that chooses to turn their head, they are creating that reality. They see what is in their reality. If they choose to deny it, what are they doing? What are they saying yes to and what are they saying no to?
ANN: They’re saying yes to hiding, right?
ELIAS: They are saying yes to hiding, and they are saying no to being connected.
ANN: How do you figure out… Obviously, if I saw something like a murder, let’s say, I might judge... Or someone bullying, maybe a child bullying another child, I might judge that. So, I’m judging myself?
ELIAS: Not necessarily; it is not a mirror.
Now; in this, remember, you all generate judgments. You always do. You do in every moment, or there would be no yes and no. It is part of your reality: you always generate judgments. It is judgments that you generate in relation to your guidelines and how you are expressing them.
ANN: Well, I just want to back up. I actually phrased that question wrong, then, or not what I meant. Not judging myself but accepting myself is what you said. So, if I’m looking at something and not accepting myself, how do I realize what it is about myself that I’m not accepting? How do I understand that or bring it to light?
ELIAS: Now; you are incorporating an example of observing a bully, and you are expressing a judgment about the bullying, and you are expressing that you assess that to be a non-acceptance of yourself. It may not be.
ANN: Well, then, I misunderstood what you said earlier, because I thought you said that... What did you say?
ELIAS: Accusation and blame...
ANN: Accusation and blame means you’re not... Oh, when you say it’s someone else’s fault...
ELIAS: Yes, yes.
ANN: ...you are not accepting yourself.
ELIAS: You express many directions and subjects that you may not agree with. It is not necessary for you to agree with every action that occurs. You may witness another individual expressing bullying, and you may not agree with that, and it may be very contrary to your guidelines.
Now; in that, you may express your disagreement. You are not necessarily expressing that the other individual is worthless or unimportant or not valuable, but that you disagree with the action that the other individual is engaging.
Now; in that, in being responsible to you, in saying yes to your own responsibility and saying no to a lack of acceptance, you can engage that individual in the capacity of honoring their value. For if the other individual is bullying, what are they doing? Blaming and accusing, that is what bullies do. They blame another individual for what they feel or what they think, and therefore, they bully them to convolutedly build themself momentarily. That individual is moving from a framework of discounting. They already are expressing a worthlessness within themselves or they would not be generating that action.
When you value yourself, when you genuinely recognize your deservingness, when you genuinely see your own worth, it is not necessary for you to express elevating yourself in relation to any other individual. For the other individual, regardless of what they express, does not threaten you, for you are comfortable in that expression of satisfaction and acceptance within yourself. You are being responsible to yourself, and it is not necessary or even considered to elevate yourself above another individual or any other expression, for you already know your connection to it. Therefore, it does not even occur to you to be expressing in that manner.
Now; also, an individual that is expressing an action such as bullying or violence, that individual is expressing an action of what? Aggression. What is the only expression in your reality that entirely, completely, creates a disconnect? Aggression. Aggression is the one expression that you are capable of that severs all connection. It isolates you immediately. This is the reason, which I have expressed previously, that soldiers in wars bond so strongly together. It is an expression, in your terms, of compensating for that surrounding expression of aggression, in which they are aware and feel that severing of connection, which is entirely unnatural. It is an unnatural state in consciousness, and the only area in which it can be expressed is within physical manifestation, for it is such a natural expression.
In that, this is the direction that many, many, many individuals move into when they are expressing an extreme of devaluing of themself, when they are expressing an entire lack of deservingness and they view no worth or value to themself, which is what? Not being responsible to yourself, and in that, it is a denial of self. Therefore, what do they do? They express no, no, no, no, no to me, and yes, yes, yes to disconnect. No, no, no, no, and I will express more, more, more aggression, disconnect more, more and more, for I do not deserve to be connected.
Therefore, in any situation such as this, you may not necessarily be not accepting of yourself or discounting yourself. You may present those types of situations to yourself for the opportunity to evaluate. Will you react or will you respond? Will you move by rote or will you evaluate? What is my guideline? What do I want to say yes to and no to? What is my greatest benefit and what is important, which we have discussed previously. In that, how are you responding?
ANON: In this moment, for example, we are all are saying yes or no to so many things, so it is very hard to innumerate all of them. That’s where it gets confusing in your head. So, my question is, I guess I’m looking for some homework. What aspects do you recommend that we focus on when we are looking at this yes and no? Because I guess the theme is the powerlessness of empowerment, but I want to section it off, I guess, or focus on some element...
ANN: Practice, you want to practice.
ANN: Well, let’s practice with you.
ELIAS: Very well.
ANON: I’m saying yes to exploration. That’s general. I’m comfortable, so I’m saying yes to comfortableness. Attention, yes to attention? Huh, guys?
ELIAS: What are you saying no to? You are saying no to shielding. You are saying yes to participating. You are saying no to isolating, which you could do very easily.
ANON: Well, then, that’s nice and all, but what’s...
BRIGITT: What’s the benefit?
ANON: Yeah, like it’s not...
LYNDA: It’s not exciting. (Laughter)
ANON: It’s not enough. I don’t know why. I just feel, okay, so what, at this point. Because there’s so many things I can say yes and no to, I can’t be going through with this... Maybe perhaps “annoying” would be the word.
ELIAS: I would express that in this moment you are expressing yes to an openness and to exploring and receiving information that will benefit you, that you can assimilate and that you expect will benefit you in other directions, in other areas. Therefore, you are listening and participating. You are also expressing no to being cautious, no to not involving yourself, and in that, you are expressing no to what might be expected of you by the other individuals.
You are participating in a group situation. In many, many situations with many, many, many individuals in groups, which occurs frequently in our group, individuals are hesitant to participate or share, and in that, they may not objectively know why. The why is saying no to exposure, no to that vulnerability, for there is a concern or an apprehensiveness as to what will the other individuals think, how will they perceive me. What if I express myself in a stupid manner? What if I ask a ridiculous question? I would express that no question is ridiculous, but these are the feelings that many individuals express in this now. Therefore, you are saying no to all of that, all of those constructs: if I express myself, if I participate, there is the construct of what other individuals think and how they will assess me and how they will perceive me. In that, that can be very influencing, and in this present moment you are expressing yes to allowing, no to the expectations.
SANDRA: I just wanted to say a little more on that point. So, I am looking at a situation, and I realize I want to be shy or move in because I want to defend or hide something. Then I suddenly remember what you are saying. I evaluate this in this moment: is this a yes or a no? I am aware I am hiding or shielding now. The next thing is not only the choice about what to do with it, but I become aware of a lot of baggage or associations or a story that comes into play. I remember once talking about this pyramid that opens, and then I see that there’s so much more, and it becomes almost massive. Now I’m aware I have a memory of a teacher who insulted me in front of the class when I went to express. It could even be bleed-through activity that’s coming in as internal kinds of impressions. Could you address that?
ELIAS: This is an excellent point, for we have spoken considerably about now-feelings and then-feelings and associations, and this can be confusing for many individuals. For you do incorporate memory and you do incorporate recall of that memory, which is beneficial for it allows you to evaluate. In that, it does influence choices in many situations, and you can be engaging – as you expressed in your example – it can trigger a memory, and you recall that memory of some uncomfortable experience that you may have engaged previously.
Now; in that, in the moment, that gives you the opportunity to generate, in basics, three actions. You can either react to that recall, focus upon the feeling that you are recalling, and then you create that circle of a then-feeling, in which that is what you are concentrating on. Or you can allow it to be affecting of you, not necessarily concentrate upon the feeling, not be in that loop of a then-feeling, but allow that recall to influence your choice and to influence you to express no, I will not participate; it is too frightening. Or you can view that as a memory and evaluate in the moment is this a threatening situation: This is now, this is a different situation; this is not that situation. Is this threatening to me now? Do I perceive any threatening energy now? And then generate a choice.
Now; you may choose to remain quiet, for you may not necessarily have a contribution to the conversation, and you may choose to observe and that may be comfortable for you. It is not that when you are aware of some influence that potentially could block you that you automatically do the opposite. It is not a matter of that. It is a matter of recognizing, very well, this is real, this is an experience, this is a memory, it is affecting. I see it, but it is not now. What am I actually doing now? Is there any threatening energy that I perceive now? Do I want to participate or do I not? Do I want to observe, or do I want to engage in the situation? But in that, you are intentionally choosing rather than being immobilized or rather than automatically shielding.
SANDRA: Which is a repetitive, habitual, automatic response, which is not beneficial, ultimately.
SANDRA: So, it’s almost like, in the situation, I’m like a penny that spins. I put a yes, a heads face, or a no face. As that penny is spinning, there’s the coin-ness that I am, and the more I can evaluate which face I present to myself, I become more of my penny-ness, somehow. That’s empowering for me.
ELIAS: Yes, rather than the face.
ELIAS: I agree.
SANDRA: So, it’s like a collapsing down into the essential, genuine self.
SANDRA: It’s a beautiful process, and I’m hoping it’s going to get more spontaneous and easy, because the way you describe it, it’s so... it’s big. It has a bigness, a daunting kind of quality.
ELIAS: I agree.
CAROLE: Thank you. Hi, I’m Carole from Connecticut. I sort of want to go in two different directions.
ELIAS: Very well.
CAROLE: The first direction I want to tell you about is something that I’ve done recently. When I was a kid, I was in foster homes and an orphanage, and it was a long period of time when I didn’t really know who I was. So, I called the Department of Children’s Welfare, and I said please give me some information so I would know where I was when I was little, and I got all of that information. The interesting thing is, for me – because I sort of wanted to see who I was, because I repressed a lot and didn’t remember – there were stories about when I first went in the orphanage, and they had actual statements that I made. I guess I saw a lot of psychiatrists, and my statements were in quotation marks. One of the things that they said several different times, well, they gave me compliments: she’s smart and she’s pretty. That was there right from the start. The second thing they said was either she doesn’t want to play with the other kids or pay attention to the adults, or when she does, she participates but she has to be the one in command; if she’s not in command, she gets peeved. I’m talking six to seven years old, so this goes way back.
One of the things you said, Elias, was talking about aggression, and I just told my husband not that long ago that I have to try and not to be so aggressive. He said yeah, I know you drive like a maniac. That was the first thing he thought of, but of course it’s deeper than that. It’s a confidence of being that I can do this; I know I can. It’s almost a form of aggression, and I understand that. I also understand that it’s also a way to isolate yourself and protect yourself. That’s one direction.
The other direction is this whole yes/no thing. A long time ago, Elias, we talked about that I would come awake in the dream state and I would be doing something that I would make a judgment on, like maybe finding money and putting it in my pocket; I think that’s what we talked about. It’s almost 20 years ago, 18 years ago. You said you’re taking your everyday life here with the belief systems into the dream state and having a judgment; you don’t steal in this reality. In the dream state, I’m essence. I’m in the dream state, I’m traveling in some other reality; however, that comes in and it has an effect on me. I am finding now that almost constantly I wake up in the dream state. It’s like this is a dream, wake up, Carole, this isn’t really happening, it’s in the dream state, it’s not physical. Whatever is probably challenging or threatening in my body can’t be happening because my body is on the bed. And I actually say that in the dream, “Your body’s on the bed, Carole.” However, last night, I wasn’t even sure if I was going to come here today because of other situations, but I had two things where there was a yes/no in there.
First thing, I moved somewhere in this dream, and people from the neighborhood came and started planting these beautiful, beautiful trees on my property. I looked out and I thought, they’re digging holes, they’re planting these trees, and they think they are doing something good so how can I get mad at them? They think they’re doing something good but I don’t want those trees, so I’m going to have to deal with this. Right in there is this big fat yes/no. Then later on, at my table at my new house, I’m eating chicken. Okay, I haven’t eaten meat for probably almost four years now. In the dream, it was tasting good, and then all of a sudden it tasted horrible and the texture of it was... I wanted to regurgitate it. I woke up again in the dream and said you don’t eat meat, what are you doing eating chicken? Then I said well, this is a dream, stupid. There again is the yes/no. It’s like in the dream for that second I wanted to and then I didn’t.
I do this with my paintings all the time. I’ll stick it somewhere in my house – and I know there’s a bunch of artists here – where I don’t know when I’m going to come across it. There’s that one second before the mind comes in and starts making all of these evaluations and judgments, and in that one second, I see it clearly. I know that painting and I’ll have that connection, and then the mind starts coming in and starts oh, what did you do, I can’t believe you did that, and that sucks. All artists do that to themselves. They say oh, it sucks, and then other times, oh, that’s not so bad, that’s pretty good. So, we do that back and forth once again, the yes/no, the yes/no, the yes/no.
But I don’t want to necessarily get stuck on the manifestations of the yes and no. I just want to live in that place. One of the things that bothers me about me is that it’s easier for me to do that if I don’t interact with other people. I can really isolate myself, because then I don’t have to do that. I don’t have to listen to other people and all of their beliefs and their carrying on: this one is rude, that one did that, my husband did that, my kids are brats, you know. Why are you wasting time on that? That’s really how I feel, and I don’t want to make them feel like I’m judging them.
I just went to an art workshop, and a woman was talking about how she thought that this woman was too close to her kids and her daughter called her four times a day. I couldn’t help it, I said, ”Well, you know, you’re not respecting their choices. If you respect their choices, you’ll see there’s no good, bad, right or wrong. Respect your choices; respect their choices.” Then I get these blank looks like where’s this woman from, some other planet, because of what I said. However, sometimes I know that it might make a movement in consciousness, but when you are out there in the regular world, not at gatherings like this, if you say something like that you get a look like you’re from another planet.
ELIAS: But why would you say it?
CAROLE: At that point in time I said it because I felt as though I was couching it in words that wouldn’t sound too metaphysical or airy-fairy.
ELIAS: But why would you say it at all?
CAROLE: Why would I say it at all? That’s a good question. See, but that’s why I think to myself I’m better all alone. I don’t see situations and I don’t want to say it. I’m happy in my art room.
ELIAS: I am understanding. This is an interesting situation. For now, in this, I would express that almost all of you in this room, while you were speaking, had moments of fidgeting, and almost all of you in this room presently, while you were speaking, had moments of “enough!” (Laughter)
CAROLE: Shut up, Carole! (Laughter)
ELIAS: Perhaps not that harsh, but this is a significant point. These are reactions. What did I express when we began? That I was engaging all of you in a discussion and that I was inviting all of you to participate with each other, not only myself. And what did you do in this moment? While you were speaking and offering your story – which is significant, for this is also what you did with other individuals that you were speaking about – in that, all of you reflected what she was speaking about. She was offering an expression of exposure. Exposing herself, being vulnerable, sharing in relation to her own judgments of other individuals and how she expressed that and the discomfort in that and also the discomfort in being in the company of other individuals. All of you reflected that, and you all did it automatically. None of you thought about it. None of you stopped, none of you paused, none of you evaluated: What am I doing? What am I feeling, why? How am I responding, why, and what am I expressing yes and no to in this moment? This is an excellent example of your statement.
Now; what is occurring now in this situation, in this room, with these individuals now? That is what you were doing now. What were you expressing yes to, and what were you expressing no to? Can any of you identify what you expressed yes to and what you expressed no to?
MALE: Yes to shielding.
KEN: I was expressing yes to feeling my scattered energy in the moment.
ELIAS: Very well, what were you expressing no?
KEN: I was expressing no to feeling like I wanted to be a little bit more calm, not much more but a little bit, but I was saying no to achieving that, I suppose.
ELIAS: I would express that all of you were expressing no to listening. What is the genuine art of listening? Listening is the action of being attentive to some outside source and not thinking, focusing on what is being expressed and not thinking. If you are thinking, you are not listening. None of you were listening. You were hearing, but you were not listening; you were fidgeting. Why? What was so uncomfortable?
ANN: It felt like a blast of energy. I was thinking she’s probably... Are you intermediate or soft?
CAROLE: I’m soft.
ANN: That’s all right, because I was thinking, I was comparing like sometimes I can get intense, and there was an intensity. I know when I do judge myself for that intensity because I’ve gotten reflections, and therefore, Ann, calm down, Ann, calm down.
ELIAS: What do you automatically do?
ANN: I felt like I was shielding.
ELIAS: Yes. You automatically push away. That is an automatic action. Then what are you doing? Yes to shielding; no, push away. What was so uncomfortable for the rest of you?
NATASHA: It was exposure, and exposure scares.
ELIAS: Ah! Frightened by an exposure.
BRIGHTER: I think it was contextual a little bit for me. You expressed that there’s a lot for you to share with us, and there’s a lot that you were sharing with us, but my expectations were to have my attention more focused with what you offered to us today. I feel like I was thinking about it, and I was thinking of how ironic it was that I was giving you the same energy that you were talking about, as to not wanting to (inaudible).
ELIAS: Ah, excellent! That is an example of an expectation. Which, I expressed the guidelines in the beginning of the conversation, but the expectation remained that I would direct and that you would ask questions and I will answer them. That is not the guideline that I set, but that is the automatic expectation.
This is also an interesting and important factor in relation to what you hear. This is a very important factor, for in that, each individual hears what they expect, and you continue to move in that direction. You set your thought process in a direction of your expectation, and then it colors what you hear, and you may hear entirely different than what is actually being expressed – which you generated and demonstrated an example of in this forum. I did not express that; you expected it.
This is all important information for you to assimilate and for you to apply, that in this, when another individual is expressing themself and you have agreed to participate with them – and you did, you all agreed to participate with all of you, not only myself, or you would be engaging a private conversation with myself, and this is not; therefore, you agreed to participate with each other, and therefore, you are by extension agreeing to listen and to exchange with each other – but then you do not, you hear what you want to hear and what you expect to hear. And when an individual expresses in a vulnerability, everyone becomes uncomfortable, and how you express that discomfort is to push away, and your body consciousness begins to react to the discomfort that you are expressing. Your eyes begin to wander, you begin to move your bodies, your head droops, it may lean back, but you are not focused upon the exchange that is occurring that you agreed to.
Thank you for sharing your story. In that, I would express that yes, it can be challenging at times when you have a particular awareness and you are privy to – but once again, may not be involved with – outside sources that may be expressing differently.
But once again, this is a matter of being responsible to you, that when you are accepting with you and you are comfortable within you, you can disagree with the other individual that is distressed or their feelings are hurt for their daughter is not interacting with them but with another individual. You can be privy to this conversation, but it is a matter of recognizing “I am not involved with that conversation or that situation. Is it actually important to me in this moment what these individuals are doing or what they are discussing or what their opinion is? Is it actually affecting of me? And is it actually important to me?” That is the expression of being responsible to you. It is pulling your attention back to you and what are you doing and what is important to you and how are you expressing.
Your job is not to instruct other individuals in what they are doing right or wrong or indifferent. It matters not. In this, whatever the other individual is doing, if it does not directly involve you or affect you, you can generate your opinion in relation to what is being expressed in action or in words, but that is not to say that that opinion is necessary to be shared. For what are you accomplishing? What do you want to gain by expressing yourself? There are time frameworks in which expressing your opinion does benefit you and is a valuable action to engage. There are other times in which the situation may be that expressing your opinion does not benefit you in any actual, real capacity. It is merely an expression to push away the other individuals. You are already feeling uncomfortable, and this is another aspect of being responsible to you, is knowing yourself, knowing your energy, being aware.
This is the key: awareness, self-awareness, being aware of what you are expressing, what are you feeling, Even if you are not generating an emotional feeling, what are you physically feeling in the moment? Are you comfortable? Are you relaxed? Are your muscles flexible? Are you tense? Are you uncomfortable? Do you not want to be where you are? In that, that is very influencing in relation to those yes/no choices that you engage: I am already uncomfortable, I am tense, and I am not feeling quite a fit in this situation; that sound in this area is bothersome to me – and that sound may be the voices of other individuals. Perhaps the sound of the voices of those individuals complaining, the a pitch and the tone of those voices, is bothersome. That is another aspect that is generating an uncomfortableness for me in this moment.
But not being aware of all of those actions that you are already engaging, it prompts you to express yes to shielding and no to you: therefore, I will express my opinion and tell you, and that will influence you to go away, for you are bothersome to me. That sound is bothering me, and if I express myself in a manner that you do not understand or that confuses you or that you perceive me as crazy, you will move away from me, and I will accomplish what I want. I will be more comfortable.
These are the yes’s and no’s that you do not think about, that you are not aware of that do accomplish what you want. But are you creating your reality intentionally? Are you comfortable with that? No.
CAROLE: I felt better when she shut up. (Laughter)
ELIAS: I imagine you did, and I do not question that, but the point is what you feel and what you are doing. And I thank you for sharing that vulnerability.
CAROLE: Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: And we shall engage a break, and perhaps when we return, all of you will be bright and chipper and engaging. (Laughter) We shall return momentarily.
(Elias departs after 1 hour, 31 minutes.)
(Elias’ arrival time is 10 seconds.)
ELIAS: Continuing! (Laughs) Are we all participating now? (Laughter) Are we all more comfortable now?
ELIAS: Excellent! Now continue. Yes?
JOHN: So, I had a question I was thinking about. My question, I should pose it to the group, right? And you’re part of the group, so I can pose it to everybody. The situation would be like any given situation. There’s things that I want to do, right, and then I can assess what’s blocking me, what’s keeping me from doing that, whether it’s an externality – and you’re probably even smart enough not to think about it in terms of an externality, but what am I doing, what am I... When you start talking about yes and no, that’s what I’ve always been doing, and I think that’s what most of us do, right? So, when you start talking about yes and no or a yes/no analysis, to me that’s not functionally different from what I’ve been doing. It’s almost just a different angle on the same thing. That’s one of the questions. I don’t see it as functionally different, but if you’re talking about it, it must be pedagogically important.
JOHN: That’s what I’m trying to figure out.
ELIAS: You think you are aware of it, and at times you are, but more times you are not. At times yes, you are aware of what you are expressing yes and no to, to a degree. You make choices. You evaluate what is to your greatest benefit at times, not always, dependent upon the situation.
Generally, if you are dissatisfied with some action or some expression or situation, you will be more likely to be prompted to ask yourself questions as you posed. What am I blocking? Am I restricting myself? That is not necessarily the same as asking yourself yes and no. For in that, you are, in a manner of speaking, skipping steps. You are looking at a situation and attempting to evaluate before you even have answered what the yes and no is. Therefore, in that skipping of steps, you are also skipping reasons or motivations. For in that, yes, you view a situation, you think about what you want or what you want to do, and you evaluate the situation. If it is a situation in which you are experiencing difficulty or you cannot seem to assess how to accomplish what you want to accomplish, your thinking immediately moves into evaluation and analyzation of the situation. You are problem solving. You are not answering a yes or no question. You are not asking the question “what am I saying yes to and what am I saying no to?” What am I saying no to that is creating this situation in which I am restricted or I am uncomfortable, and in that, perhaps blocking myself? But what is the motivation? What am I saying no to, and why? Why am I doing that?
In this, you are correct, the yes and no question is fundamentally more important. For this is a significant challenge and problem for most individuals in many, many situations, is that you pose a situation to yourself or a direction, and you evaluate what that situation is or what that direction is. You evaluate what you think you want – and I emphasize that, for in many situations what you think you want may not be what you actually want. You think you want it, for it is rational or it is what you should want or it is connected with what you feel – and what you feel is not always an indicator of what you genuinely want, either. Therefore, your feelings can cloud the situation and your direction, especially feelings of discounting, frustration, irritation, anxiety. These types of feelings are very distracting.
But if you are asking those yes and no questions, then you begin to evaluate what you are feeling and why. What motivates that? And it leads you more accurately in the direction of your evaluation that you skipped ahead to. Which, in many situations – many, perhaps not most with some individuals, but definitely many situations – when you skip ahead to the evaluation, you are missing information in that, and that creates confusion, and it creates frustration, for in that, you do not give yourselves accurate answers and you do not know what to listen to.
JOHN: It’s like a total process check.
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.
JOHN: It becomes objective rather than looking at the whatever it is, a wall, and then trying to... Right?
ELIAS: Yes, and in that, it allows you to assess what your feelings are, move around your feelings and evaluate the situation or the direction more clearly and not be, either, stuck with the feelings, which very rapidly in many situations move into then-feelings, as I have expressed to all of you. A then-feeling is not only a feeling that you experienced ten years ago. A then-feeling could be from five minutes ago that you are dwelling on and repeating and continuing.
Feelings are signals. They do not endure unless they are a then-feeling. They change the instant that your attention moves. It matters not the intensity of a feeling. You could be sobbing and tremendously distraught, sad, and the moment that your attention moves in a different direction, you stop. You can be furious, lividly irritated. I will not express “angry,” for we are aware that anger is different. But in that, you could be livid and expressing the intensity of that feeling, and the moment your attention moves, it stops.
Now; you can continue it by thinking, and the thinking triggers the feeling again, and that creates a loop with the then-feelings, and it is very easy to do that.
In this, this is another reason that this question of “what am I expressing yes and what am I expressing no to” can be very instrumental in relation to your feelings and identifying them, what they actually are. An individual may express that they are anxious, and in actuality, they may be embarrassed. An individual may express that they are sad, and in actuality, they may be restless. An individual may express that they are happy, and in actuality, they may be excited momentarily.
There are many, many situations and time frameworks in which you are not even accurately identifying what you yourself are feeling. The yes and no can aid you, can help you in defining what your feeling actually is, and it can help you to discern whether this is a now-feeling or a then-feeling. Beyond that, it helps you to identify why. What is motivating this expression in me? That allows you the freedom to choose objectively what you want to express – what you actually want to express.
Using your example, you may be uncomfortable in a situation and another individual may be irritating to you. It may not be that the individual themself is irritating you. The sound or the energy that that individual is expressing is exacerbating a feeling you are already generating.
Now; in that, if you are identifying to yourself what am I expressing, what am I doing, what am I expressing yes to and what am I expressing no to, I am expressing yes to continuing to be uncomfortable, and I am expressing no to myself. I am denying myself the freedom to be me and to be comfortable, and I am holding myself in a position and saying yes to this position that is uncomfortable. Why am I doing that? What prompts me? What motivates me to do that? That it is expected, that it is polite, that it is acceptable behavior, that it is what other individuals want me to do, but I do not actually want to do it? What is my motivation for being in the position that I am in now? When you can answer those yes and no questions, it leads you into identifying the motivation. Why are you doing what you are doing? You did not objectively choose that. You did it; you chose it but not intentionally. You were not aware of what you were choosing, and that is the point. That is what you are moving into, and I will express to all of you, you are ready to move into that.
This is not to say that it requires that you be tremendously evaluating every action that you do and expressing to yourself I just incorporated a cup of coffee this morning, why did I do that? I visited the loo this morning, why did I do that?! (Laughter) It is not a matter of generating an analyzation of every action that you generate. But as I expressed, generally you will question what you do if you are uncomfortable, but you skip ahead to the evaluation, which leads you in directions of no answers.
In this also, there are many situations and time frameworks in which you may be engaging an action that you yourself think you are comfortable with. You do it automatically. It is a part of your routine, and you engage automatically whatever the action or the choice is, and it is not necessarily bothersome to you. It does not bother you. Therefore, you assess that you like it. Liking is very different from not being bothered. In that, that choice may be an automatic choice that you are not necessarily bothered by, but it is not necessarily to your greatest benefit.
Individuals very frequently generate automatic actions and express “that is just me.” (Laughter) That is what I do, and it is just me. But is it? Not necessarily. It may be merely what is automatic and what you have learned, and therefore, you have accepted that, and therefore, you do it. But it is not necessarily just you or who you are. It is an action that you have accepted and learned, and it is not bothersome to you.
PHILLIP: There is an idea about what’s in your highest benefit, and then, how, where is the distinction made when you find you’re settling for something rather than going to your highest service? But if you don’t know there’s something more, sometimes we get stuck in the circle of doing what we’re settling for, not understanding that if we shoot the moon it’s always going to be that or better, that or better, that or better, because we are being guided from what we’re creating in nonphysical and bring forth.
ELIAS: Most definitely, and that is the aspect of deserving. When you genuinely know that you are valuable and you are ultimately deserving, you are always moving for the best, the highest, the greatest, the most.
PHILLIP: Does authenticity not bring, automatically, integrity, as well? When you’re acting in your genuine highest service, are you not more or less bringing integrity through, as well? I know a lot of people say oh, well, when I’m going to express myself, I’m afraid of what the other people are going to say about me: I’m selfish, I’m this, I’m that. But really, you’re honoring yourself in doing so, in making the choices for yourself to what you know is your highest service.
ELIAS: Yes, and in that, once again, that moves back to the subject of responsibility to self. When you are being responsible to self, when you are expressing yourself genuinely, yes, you are expressing that integrity automatically, that genuineness. And in that, it matters not what other individuals think or how they perceive.
Now; I pose the question to each and every one of you. What is your perception of yourself? Momentarily, think: how do you perceive yourself? Do you perceive yourself to be a good individual, a considerate individual? Do you perceive yourself to be intelligent? Do you perceive yourself to be giving? Do you perceive yourself to be ambitious? Do you perceive yourself to be competitive? How do you perceive yourself? What would you classify yourself as a type of person, and how do you see you?
Now; if I express to you – to you – I very much dislike your hair, does that change your perception of you?
PHILLIP: Uh, no.
ELIAS: No. If I express to you, you continue to step in my way; stop doing that! Is your perception of you different?
ELIAS: No. You may question an action; your perception of yourself is not different. Your perception of yourself does not change because of an expression or an action or an opinion of another individual. You express this foundationless fear or anxiety about yourselves that somehow, if other individuals perceive you differently than you perceive yourself, it will change how you perceive yourself. It will not. Another individual can express in whatever manner they choose. You may question what they express, but it will not change your perception of you.
Now; another experiment. You (indicating Ann), express what your perception is of you (indicating Natasha). What is your perception?
ANN: Loving, affectionate; I don’t know. I just see a fun person exploring life and embracing life, and I just I like it!
ELIAS: Very well. Excellent, excellent. And your perception of you (indicating Natasha) is what?
NATASHA: Not that! (Laughter)
ELIAS: Now; in that, this is an example that other individuals always perceive you different than you perceive yourself. Regardless of how you perceive yourself, other individuals will always perceive you differently, for they are perceiving you through their lens and through what is important to them. Therefore, what they do, what you all do, when you encounter another individual – and very quickly; it is astounding how fast all of this information processes, faster than any computer that you can devise – you assess, when you encounter another individual, first what you like. You immediately evaluate first what is attractive to you, therefore what is important to you, what you value and what you perceive as important. You will immediately look for those qualities and those expressions in another individual, regardless of who they are or whether you know them at all. They may be an entire stranger. That is your first assessment.
From that, if you have little criteria of what you like about the other individual or what is attractive, for it is important to you in your experience and in your genuineness, you will begin assessing what you do not like about them. Generally, you will offer yourself one or two points, and that is enough. With one or two points of dislike of anything, it matters not – I do not like their clothing; I do not like their shoes; I do not like their hair; it matters not what it is – beyond the second point of anything that you dislike about another individual, you will stop paying attention to them. They will become unimportant, and you will either avoid them or you will intentionally move away or generate some action to push them away. But they have become unimportant to you, and what is unimportant you do not pay attention to. You only pay attention to what is important to you. It does not matter if it is good or bad, it only matters if it is important.
In this, it is not necessarily a matter of first impressions, for you may meet the same individual and in one encounter you may assess that you dislike one or two points about them and you will ignore them, and you may encounter them again and you may experience very differently. You may discover one or two points that you like. Then they become important, and then you are willing to engage.
Now; this is another point of the yes and no in relation to interactions with other individuals and relationships. It is exceptionally common for individuals to generate the idea that if they engage a relationship with another individual of any type that they must maintain it, that this is your responsibility if you are a good person, if you are a caring person. This comes back to what your perception is of yourself. If you are a compassionate person, if you are an accepting person – (humorously) that is the greatest, the accepting person! – and if you are any of these, you definitely must maintain relationships. Relationships are never temporary. They are always ongoing forever and ever and beyond. No, they are not. Most individuals that you will encounter in your lifetime will be temporary, most of them. Occasionally you will encounter another individual that you will generate a relationship with that will be ongoing. Most are not.
In that, it is once again a matter of being aware – what am I drawing to myself at this moment, for what purpose – and also the yes and no questions with the constructs, which we have not even discussed the constructs yet: a relationship or not, and if you have a relationship how is it expressed and all of the constructs with that; and if you choose not to have a relationship, all of the constructs with that: why not and what is wrong with you and everyone should be expressing a relationship with another individual, at least one.
In this, the manner in which it is expressed, how to do it, what you do, how you express, what you should do, what you should not do, what to pay attention to, what not to pay attention to, what to feel, what to not feel, and on and on and on and on, construct after construct after construct. All of this generally, in your terms, has nothing to do with love and has not much to do with your greatest benefit. It is all the shoulds and the should-nots and the supposed to’s and the have to’s, and on and on and on, which complicates every subject. It matters not what subject you choose, with the yes and no there is construct after construct after construct that is involved. If I express yes to this, what does that mean? Why and why and why and why?
That is what I was expressing in the yes and no: it is not necessary for you to analyze all of your yes and no answers. When you analyze, you are analyzing the constructs. You are not analyzing the yes and no. The yes and no is simple. It is either to your greatest benefit or it is not. You are either moving in a direction that is genuine or you are not. In that, it is a simple evaluation. When you are jumping ahead to the analyzation, you are analyzing the constructs, not the yes and no.
JOHN: Is it me or does anybody else get like slightly dizzy or seasick when you start thinking about yes and no? (Laughter)
ELIAS: And the reason for that is that it is entirely unfamiliar to you. It is such a foreign concept to all of you in being definitely, entirely self-directing in choosing.
LYNDA: I choose to make a comment.
ELIAS: Very well.
LYNDA: When I first, and it’s just recently, began to realize how unfamiliar this is and how for my entire – of course, I’m just going to speak for me – but for my entire life on this planet I’ve done it a very different way. At first, it started to liberate me, because I realized there was a reason I wasn’t getting it, quote-unquote, and it was okay that I wasn’t getting it. I just started to say no to feelings of fear that come up automatically in my life. They’re debilitating, and they’re shameful, and I should be so wide by now after years of this shit! (Laughter) I started to – I am starting – just scratching the surface to say no, and it’s like talking to myself, like no, no, no. This comes up, that comes up, whatever comes up, I’m like no, no, no. And nothing happens, and I end up getting a little bit more depressed, and I’m falling into my usual, you know. Then I just recently said no and I snapped into the day. It’s a big piece for me, snapping into the day. I may not be able to do the moment, but today I can just be in today, and all the boogiemen went away. I’m not saying I’m not going to fall on my ass tomorrow, but a secret is genuinely saying no in a whirlwind and then staying in the day. I guess my desire is so strong to do that, I honored me and I showed through. I did it and amen!
ELIAS: Yes, you did.
LYNDA: One of my good things is I’m brave, and bravery in the midst of fear, to quote Elias, is a big key. It’s not fear of a tsunami; it’s fear of the shit inside of me and just standing and liking me and trusting me.
ELIAS: And how many of you can associate with that and the difficulty in trusting yourself, the difficulty in not continuously questioning yourself and expressing fear spontaneously and not even being aware at times of what the fear is but feeling the intensity of it?
This is the power of those two words. For in that, it is not a matter of analyzing. It is not a matter of moving through all of the constructs and pulling them apart and understanding every mechanism. It is merely a matter of recognizing “I have been saying yes to this expression, and I do not want it, and I am expressing no. Yes to me, no to whatever is not my greatest benefit – and fear is never my greatest benefit. Yes to me.” When you do that, you automatically honor everything around you, for your perception changes, and your perception is very flexible. It can change in an instant, and it does when you are honoring yourself. One step can be tremendous and can lead you into tremendous freedom.
Let me also express to you, as you were expressing honoring yourself and your authenticity and being genuine, when you are expressing yes to your genuineness and your life – YOUR life, it is yours, it belongs to you – when you express yes to your life, you empower yourself, and that one step will begin to inspire you.
You can think and think and think and think, but when you do not engage a step, thinking, thinking, thinking will bring you nowhere. You engage one step and inspiration begins, for you open that door. One step to express yes to my life: my life is important and valuable, and I deserve – and you do.
I am aware that none of you present at this point yet genuinely, experientially understand or recognize your genuine deservingness, but you are so close, and in that, I am so encouraging to all of you to take that step. You deserve it. In that, you will begin to recognize your own deservingness. It matters not, you can generate a lifetime of horrendous experiences, horrible fears, a lifetime of violence and aggression and fear and discounting, and you can turn that, regardless of how much there is of those experiences, you can turn that in one step – one step, one expression of no more, no. Even physical infirmities you can change.
In that expressing no, I will not accept what is not genuine – I say yes to me and no to whatever is not to my greatest benefit in every moment, in every situation, in every direction – in that, you may genuinely surprise yourselves at how attractive you become to everyone around you, for you begin to glow. Genuinely, literally, you begin to glow, and other individuals see that glow and are attracted to it and want to emulate it. That is how you shift and change a world.
NATASHA: How do I know what is beneficial to me in the moment? Sometimes I cannot decide. Is this beneficial or these are beneficial? How do I decide?
ELIAS: Offer a hypothetical example.
NATASHA: Okay. I’m invited to a trip, and I know it’s going to be fun. I may get invited to a trip that generally I would consider to be fun and interesting, but along the way there could maybe be some down moments. To avoid these down moments and to pay for this trip later, I will probably not regret it, it’s easier not to go on this trip at all and just avoid it completely. So how do I decide to what is my greatest benefit?
ELIAS: Now; in that scenario, what do you notice? What is being expressed?
ANN: She wants to go on a trip.
SANDRA: Some doubt.
ELIAS: What is the focus of attention?
SANDRA: The negativity?
ANN: Personal invalidation?
MALE: Not trusting yourself?
ELIAS: Not necessarily.
DANIEL: Future projection?
ELIAS: Partially, but what is the main expression in that scenario?
ELIAS: You are considering everything outside of you: the place, the people, the actions, all of the surrounding components. This is the same as engaging all the constructs. In this, you are viewing the scenario, you are viewing the choice in relation to an event or in relation to what you may have to insert yourself into. What is not a component in that is what do you want to do? If you were engaging this trip, if, let us say in your example, the choice is about will I engage this trip or will I not, what will you be doing on this trip and do you want to? Do you enjoy doing what you will be doing on this trip and is that satisfying to you?
In that, it is not a matter of all the outside situations or other individuals or circumstances or even environment. It is a matter of what are you engaging, and in this plan of a choice of whether to engage this trip or not, what will you do on this trip? Will you enjoy doing that? Do you want to do that or do you not? Even if it is an action that you do enjoy or that you occasionally enjoy or that you sometimes enjoy doing, in the present now do you want to do that? In this now, do I want to do that?
Using yourself as an example, you play the guitar, you enjoy playing the guitar, you enjoy sharing your music, and you enjoy engaging your music, but not every moment. There are time frameworks that you enjoy other activities. You do not want to play your guitar while you are kiting. You want to be kiting.
ELIAS: Therefore, if you are in a direction of being interested in kiting, and you are invited for a trip to play your guitar and you are not focused upon your guitar in that moment and that is not interesting you in that moment, you do not want to do it. It is a matter of assessing. Pay attention to you. What do you want to do? And in that, what is your motivation?
Now; if you are considering this trip and a significant factor is that you are considering what other individuals will be doing and the difficulties or the conflict or the challenges that will arise in that – for you have engaged these types of experiences previously and now you are anticipating that type of action – you have already decided you do not want to do it. You are already uncomfortable. You have already given yourself your yes and no answer. Without all the constructs, without all of the outside sources and all of the considerations, you are not comfortable already. That influences you to focus upon the aspects of the trip that you do not like or that you want to avoid. Yes, you can express to yourself “but if I do it, I will likely have fun once I engage it.” That is forcing. You are forcing yourself into a situation. And you may be partially correct: you may force yourself to enjoy yourself, to ignore what may be bothersome to you.
But in that, what are you actually doing and what type of energy are you projecting? One, you already did not want to engage the trip. You were already moving yourself in a direction of avoidance, and in that, you convince yourself to engage the trip anyway. And when you do, you practice the avoidance. You begin expressing the avoidance in actions. Any individual that you perceive potentially could be conflicting or annoying, you avoid them, and you isolate more, perhaps not entirely, but you will to a degree. You will begin to engage actions yourself without the other individuals. Or if you have to engage the other individuals, you will engage them with a smile and you will not be present.
Therefore, how are you benefiting yourself or the other individuals? You are not. Are you benefiting other individuals by being physically in their presence and you are not present? Are you benefiting them in contributing to them in any manner? No. You are setting into motion potentials to be irritated or disappointed or anxious. You are creating potentials of what you do not want by forcing yourself in a direction to accommodate.
That is the yes and no. If I am expressing yes to this but I am feeling this discomfort, why am I expressing yes?
SANDRA: For instance, if it’s six months hence, you’re having the experience now – no – and you’re doing all these things. As you approach something, you’re in a whole completely different state, and it’s a yes. So you miss the boat somehow because it’s required preparation. You had to get a ticket ahead of time, for instance, a flight. Do you see what I’m saying?
ELIAS: I am understanding. You never have a missed opportunity.
SANDRA: Okay, so you could create the opening to be present a week before something? If the desire and the choice to say yes to the experience was so powerful you just allow yourself to flow into it fully?
ELIAS: Yes, you could. But what I would express to you is likely that would not occur. Your intuition is constantly functioning. You may not be listening to it, but your intuition is constantly functioning.
Whenever you express a question – whether you are thinking of a question or not; it does not require thinking of a question to have a question – your intuition functions in one direction only, to answer questions. That is all your intuition does; it answers questions. In that, when you are posed with a situation such as this, a trip or an engagement, it may be an engagement of not necessarily a trip, perhaps it is a party or perhaps it is a wedding or some other event, and you express within yourself a hesitation immediately, there is a reason. It matters not whether that event will occur tomorrow or a year from now, if you are expressing that hesitation or that discomfort, there is a reason. Your intuition has already sought out the answer, and it is already expressing it to you. You may not be objectively interpreting what the answer is or even know what the question was, but you feel uncomfortable. You can force yourself to ignore that, but that energy will be expressed, and you will engage whatever the event, whatever the activity is, not fully...
SANDRA: ...present. But also, you know, this is what we’re taught to do.
SANDRA: From the moment I’m watching my daughter take care of a baby – I don’t mean to segue out of this – but this is a one year old, and I’m watching the insistence that this child conform from its natural condition. It screams, it yells, it throws food, but it’s this manipulation into these feelings, and I’m watching it happen. I don’t even know how to put it. I don’t say a word. It’s interesting.
ELIAS: Now; this is another example in conjunction with what was expressed previously of another individual generating an expression that you disagree with. Now...
SANDRA: I didn’t even know that. I just was watching it.
ELIAS: Precisely, but the factor that you expressed it in the manner of the child is being confined, that is your disagreement with what is occurring. But in that, there is another factor different from the other example, in which you were bothered and you wanted to push away and you did. In this, you are bothered but you want to change it to allow. But the child creates its own reality also, and that child of one year has been born into the objective expression of this shift. That will not continue for a considerably long time framework; that child will not accept those constraints for long.
SANDRA: But also there was a part of me that did the process you just described; I didn’t say anything. In the past it would have been “Stephanie, let the kid be.” But now it was like one face I looked at, the other face that the kid has the right to create her reality, so did my daughter in that moment...
SANDRA: ...so I just dropped it. There was nothing to...
ELIAS: But acknowledge yourself. That is the aspect that you forget. Acknowledge that is your feeling and that is your guideline and that is what is important to you. That is to be acknowledged, not to be pushed away or not to be ignored, but that is important also.
SANDRA: But the saying, the expressing of it is not the requirement...
SANDRA: ...which used to be like my mom job, mom role, get out there and tell your kids what to do. That’s an automatic response...
SANDRA: ...butt in, intrude. Okay, thanks.
ANN: Can I ask one part real quick? I might have heard wrong, but I thought at the beginning of Natasha that you were saying that considering going to this party that she, and maybe I misheard her, had an association of another party that she did not like, and when she’s deciding to go to this party… This isn’t what you said. Let’s make this up. Let’s say you are deciding to go to a party, and you are remembering this past party you went to and you didn’t like it. That’s the reason you’re not wanting to go to this party, because of that association. So, what’s the difference between the association and the intuition, the intuition that I’m really not going to enjoy this party or like a kid scared to jump off a high dive? Once he jumps, he’s scared, but once he does, oh man, this is fun. What’s the difference between the fear...
ELIAS: Excellent question.
ANN: ...and the intuition?
ELIAS: That is an excellent question.
Now; what the difference is, I was expressing you may have experiences that are influencing your assessment, and in that, you are expressing in your thinking the recall of a previous experience, and you are projecting it to a possible future experience, and you justify that by expressing you know these individuals, you know the situation, you know what will occur. In that, the assessment is not your intuition. That is recall and an evaluation. But your intuition is then generating; you are already thinking. Therefore, your intuition chooses to be expressed through the feeling. Remember, your intuition can be expressed through a thought or a sensing or through a feeling. In this, your thinking is already occupied. Therefore, your intuition will not engage your thinking, for you are already occupied with that. It will engage your feeling.
Now; in that, you generate this uncomfortable feeling, which validates the previous experience also, for likely you did not want to engage that either, but you did, and your experience was not enjoyable or was less than you wanted it to be. Your intuition is validating that and reminding you and expressing ”You already did not want to do this. Will you do it again? Will you repeat this?” And you feel uncomfortable, and the closer in time you move to the event, the more intense the feeling becomes. The more resistant you become. The feeling does not necessarily dissipate, for that communication is continuing to express louder and louder and louder. Therefore, you become more and more and more uncomfortable and more anxious as the event approaches. In that, yes, you can deny that, you can turn off the feeling. You cannot change it unless you create a new feeling. You cannot change the existing feeling, but you can turn it off, and you can ignore it, and you can force through it and generate the action anyway. But in doing so, you, not likely, you will generate experiences that you are not comfortable with and you are not satisfied with, for you have already set that in motion in the energy that you are expressing.
The intuition aspect is, in those situations, not the thinking. When intuition is expressed in your thinking, it will appear to you to be a random thought that may move in conjunction with previous thoughts but not what you are thinking in the moment, such as the ball games and who will win. In this, when you engage your intuition and your thinking is not engaged or your thinking is not engaged about the subject that you are questioning – your thinking may be engaged, but not about the subject that you are questioning – in that, it appears to be a random thought that you engaged unprompted; it merely appeared.
Your feeling in relation to intuition generally will be expressed when your thinking is engaged about the question or about the subject in question, for in that, your intuition cannot be expressed through the thinking accurately. It will not accurately offer you the message or the answer. Therefore, you create a feeling. And if you ignore the feeling, it will increase; it will get louder.
DANIEL: I still have a question. I want to really get it.
DANIEL: I have very similar question as Ann and Sandra are centering on. Sometimes Natasha invites me to go out and exercise, skate, whatever. I would feel initial hesitation as if that were akin to maybe that fear at the end of the diving board or something. Once, as you told me, I pushed it aside, and boom, I actually enjoyed myself. So how do I differentiate between that hesitation and genuine hesitation?
ELIAS: What is your greatest benefit?
DANIEL: What is my greatest benefit? Okay, so in this instance when she invites me to go out and exercise, I kind of feel or think that moving around will be my greatest benefit. But hesitation is there. Part of me is lazy; part of me doesn’t want to go, right?
ELIAS: I am understanding. But what is your greatest benefit?
DANIEL: I kind of know that going would be.
ELIAS: Precisely, yes. That would be a different scenario than this with the trip. This is a different scenario, a different type of action and evaluation.
When you are expressing the yes and no in relation to that action, if you express yes to joining her and engaging the exercise, you already know in relation to your beliefs and your evaluation that that is a greater benefit to you. Therefore, you also know that if you expressed no, what you are actually expressing no to is you, not her, and you know that.
In this situation, she is not viewing herself. That is what I expressed: what do YOU want to do in that trip? If you engage the trip, will you be engaging an action that you want to do, that you enjoy doing? If so, then it is a matter of recognizing what am I saying yes to, what am I saying no to and why. Am I saying no because of outside sources, or am I saying no to me? Am I saying yes to myself, or am I saying yes to the outside sources and acquiescing? That is the point: what are you saying yes and no to? That answers why: what is your motivation, what do you gain.
In your scenario, that is simple. You know you will gain, regardless of whether you are being lazy and you are hesitant to engage the action. You also know this is a benefit, and in that, you do not question that. In other situations that involve other individuals, it can become more confusing, for you are, once again, skipping ahead and you are evaluating the situation rather than the simplicity of the yes and no that only is to do with you, not any other individual, not any other situation, only you. What am I saying yes and no to with me? How is it MY greatest benefit?
DANIEL: Okay, so let’s complicate it a little bit. Now we want to go on vacation. We are considering going on vacation where she will be kiting at least half of the day, and I have no clue yet what I will be doing. To me, it’s hard to answer yes or no, because I’m thinking should I just jump and see what happens? Is that also an acceptable attitude, where I don’t know what will happen but let’s see what I can create?
NATASHA: He doesn’t know if it’s going to be beneficial for him or not. Neither do I. (Laughter)
ELIAS: But then you incorporate the expression of faith.
ELIAS: Which is what? Trust in what is unknown and unseen, which is trusting yourself. In that, it is not necessary that you have a plan or that you know what all of the components are. It remains the same question. You do know if it is not a benefit to you. Whether you can express to yourself the knowing that it is of benefit to you, you do know one or the other. You may not know both the yes and the no, but you will know one or the other, and the other will become apparent to you.
It is not always necessary to know I am saying yes to this, therefore I am saying no to that, and to know what both of those are. That, once again, is complicating and is moving you in the direction of I must be evaluating and analyzing this situation in every moment. I brushed my teeth, was that a yes or no question? (Laughter)
In this, in any situation, in any action, you will generate the ability to answer at least one, a yes or a no. If you can do that, you can move forward from there. In that, it may be “is this an action that I genuinely do not want to do?” No? Very well, I do not necessarily know how it will benefit me yet, but I am moving in a direction trusting that it will, that it already is. It already is benefiting you. Anytime you trust yourself, you already are benefiting yourself.
SANDRA: The whole purpose of this today is to intentionally create what we wish, so...
SANDRA: No? (Laughter) To be aware of what we’re creating, right?
ELIAS: To intentionally create your reality. I did not express “what you wish.”
SANDRA: So, it’s to intentionally create your reality…
SANDRA: ...and that would mean that, say, Daniel wanted to go with Natasha, could he intentionally create a very expanded experience…
SANDRA: …just because he would like that?
SANDRA: Great. Thank you. Done! (Laughter)
ANN: Two questions hopefully to simplify: One is are most things that you want to do to your benefit?
ELIAS: No, not necessarily. There are many times in which individuals may want to engage a direction, an action, an expression that may not be to their greatest benefit, no.
PHILLIP: How can that be if he trusted himself?
FEMALE: I was going to say a good example would be the bully that we had been talking about. He wants to be bullying, but it’s not to his best intentions.
ELIAS: Yes, I would agree.
ANON: I’ve got a quick one. If your feelings and your thinking are occupied, where does intuition go next, or does it?
ELIAS: You can either express that through a sensing, or it will engage your thoughts or your feeling in a different capacity. What I expressed is if your thinking is considerably occupied by the question itself already or the scenario that involves the question, you generally will not generate your intuitional answer through your thoughts, for they are already considerably engaged.
Feelings are a very effective method for your intuition, for they can change very quickly. Therefore, you can be expressing a feeling or engaging a feeling, an emotional signal, and you can also generate an intuitional feeling, which will be entirely different. And are you entirely confused now?
ANN: Yes! (Laughter) Well, just circling it back around to say I want to go on a trip or I don’t want to go on a trip… I’m too confused to talk!
NATASHA: Okay, let’s talk about parties. Imagine a party and think about a party. You want to go to a party or not?
ANN: Let’s say I’m having a hesitancy that says I don’t want to go to the party. I’m hesitating going to the party. So obviously, if everything that I want to do isn’t for my greatest benefit, that would adversely mean or by contrast mean that some things that I don’t want to do would be for my greatest benefit.
ANN: So I hesitate, I don’t want to go to this party. How do I know that it’s not to my greatest benefit to go to this party, then? That’s my confusion.
ELIAS: Precisely what I expressed with these individuals. You ask...
ANN: You ask yourself is it to my greatest benefit.
ELIAS: First ask yourself, what am I expressing yes to or no to, and why? Then you can assess what your greatest benefit is. What is your motivation? Why are you hesitating? What are you expressing no to? What do you not want to do? That is the point of not skipping ahead to the analyzing and allowing yourself to simplify.
You are incorporating this idea that this subject of yes and no is so complicated and so difficult and will require so much energy and concentration to engage it and to figure it out. In actuality, what I am expressing to you is that it simplifies for you. You are already complicating by skipping ahead to the analyzation. You move immediately to the constructs rather than simply asking yourself what am I expressing yes to or what am I expressing no to? As I expressed, it is not even important that you know both, but merely to ask yourself that question in the moment: what am I expressing yes or no to and why? What is motivating that?
CAROLE: Isn’t it also what are my expectations?
ELIAS: At this point, not necessarily. We have discussed expectations; you know what they are, you know how they are expressed. We have expressed and discussed constructs, and you know what they are, and we have discussed your beliefs. We have discussed all of these concepts, and you already have that information.
At this point in your movement in shifting, you have all of this information, and now is the time to simplify and act. You already have analyzed and evaluated and assimilated and have viewed every angle of every concept to understand it and to practice it and to express it in every manner possible. In that, with all that information, now is the time to simplify and apply it. Do it, rather than thinking about it and analyzing it and talking about it. Now is the time to engage a step and to merely ask the simple questions. Allow yourself to empower yourself in a simple concise manner that allows you to take a step immediately without hesitation, without the analyzation, without all the complications, but to merely express. You already have expanded yourselves tremendously with all of the information that you have assimilated. It is time to act.
DANIEL: To get back to my example of the trip, seeing the yes side and no side does not mean I will put all options on the table? I will think what hasn’t changed on there, what will happen if I stay home, none of that, right? It’s just something came into our lives, some possibility for a trip, and do I feel like yes or do I feel like no. If I say yes, why; if I say no, why. This kind of simplifies this.
NATASHA: So, no logic, no analysis in this case.
ELIAS: Yes. (Laughter) Precisely, precisely! With that, my friends, I would express that that is enough for you to assimilate, and that perhaps you got it.
JOHN: The dizziness will go away eventually! (Laughter)
ELIAS: I would express you got it. (Chuckles)
I shall greatly be anticipating our next meeting and all of your open, smiling faces and your interactive energy! Ha ha ha! (Laughter and applause) To all of you in dear and genuine lovingness, I express wondrously to you each, au revoir.
GROUP: Au revoir, Elias.
Copyright 2014 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.