Generating Images of Ideal Parents to Translate into Aspects of You
Topics:
“Generating Images of Ideal Parents to Translate into Aspects of You”
“Choosing a Gem as a Symbol of You”
Tuesday, December 3, 2013 (Private/In Person)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Jennifer (Liva)
ELIAS: Continuing again!
TERRI: I wonder. (Elias laughs) Oh…
ELIAS: The next phase. (Both laugh)
TERRI: Okay. So, this imagery the facilitator has spoken about a lot, it seems to be something that he believes in. The suggestion is “an ideal parent.” You enter into past scenes; an example would be a situation where I was expressing an emotion and met with unresponsive parenting, crying, needing a sympathetic listener but not receiving. The attentive presence of the ideal parent is imagined: one who is empathetic, tuned in and loving, to fill some of these unmet needs. So that’s what he does, generally.
So again, it’s open to tweaking and to finessing this for me. Would it be more beneficial for me to specify and create a male and a female to address both sides of the parent coin in the ideal parent imagery? It can be fictional. Or I can imagine instead, as another possibility, empowering feelings welling up from within. What do you think is the most beneficial?
ELIAS: (Pause) Very well. To begin with, I would express that generating a male and a female image would be beneficial. In that manner you are addressing to each dynamic, not parenting as one entity, but addressing to the symbol of each individual.
I am understanding of the dynamic in this method. Ultimately, I would express that it would be the most benefit to you if eventually you would translate those images from the images of the ideal parents – in the male and the female – into aspects of your own energy that are being expressed and replacing what was lacked.
For most individuals it is easier, initially, if you generate another image first. Such as when I express creating an image of fear and generating a form to it but creating that image of fear in a form and adding to it an element that is humorous. For, addressing only to energy is difficult for most individuals, for you cannot see energy. Therefore, it is easier to create a form to represent an expression, and in that, you can more easily interact and relate to that image. From that, when you become comfortable with the image and the idea of that image being a symbol, and relating to that image, you can begin to transform that or reconfigure it and, in a manner of speaking, claim it as your own. For it is a method to move you into a position of expressing that caring, that nurturing, that comforting for yourself. But initially that is considerably difficult for most individuals, for they do not understand how to express that with themself. You do it with other individuals, but to do it with yourself it becomes confusing, and it seems very abstract.
And in that, you have no image of yourself to interact with yourself with – there is one of you, not two of you. Therefore, your idea of interaction requires two entities, and therefore it becomes difficult to realistically generate the action of expression in relation to nurturing, or caring, or supportiveness, or any of these actions that you might do with another individual. It becomes confusing and difficult to understand how to do that with yourself, for you are one entity. Therefore, creating images for the expressions is very helpful and a useful tool.
You are not replacing your mother or your father; you are imaging them as they are and the experience as it was, or as it is, but you are creating another image that would provide, or will provide, what their images are not providing. Ultimately, what is BEING provided is YOU providing to you. It is YOUR energy that you are giving to you, and therefore you are supplying what is being lacked in what they are expressing, and you fill that gap.
But merely expressing to another individual, “Replace what your mother did not offer to you with your own expression of compassion to yourself,” that seems very abstract, and it is difficult for most individuals to understand how to do that. But if you have an image, the image does it. You are actually doing it, for the image is yours, but it is not difficult and it does not require thinking about it when you incorporate an image to do it for you.
Therefore, in that, I would agree that this is an effective method to use. I would also express that your interaction with each of your parents is different. Your perception of each of them is different, and what you received or what you lacked receiving from each of them has been different. For that reason, I would suggest that you incorporate separate images of male and female.
Another reason that I would suggest that is that one of the influences of negative associations of experiences with parents is that it colors your perception of all male and female individuals as adults. Your parents automatically are formed in your perception – a child’s perception – as models. They are the models of adulthood. And in that, if the individuals that are the parents are perceived as conflicting, weak, unsafe, threatening, not encouraging, or if they are perceived as not valuing, that sets a model for all adults, and how you perceive other adults is viewed through that lens. Therefore, there is a colored film that you view through when you are viewing other adults. Not only as a child, but as you become an adult yourself you continue to view other individuals that are now your peers through that same lens.
Therefore, all female individuals are viewed through that lens of the model of the mother; all male individuals are seen through that lens of the model of the father. And in that, there are aspects of influences that are automatic, that require no thinking, and generally you do not notice: how you interact, how you express yourself, how you respond, what you think, how you feel when you are in the presence of other individuals in different capacities.
As a hypothetical example: All female adults may become suspicious; therefore, when you interact with female individuals, you may be inclined to be more skeptical initially, that it may require you to interact with them more, a few more times, to trust them.
TERRI: Yeah, is that hypothetical? It doesn’t sound like it. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Or with male individuals, you may – without thinking – automatically be more drawn to them and less skeptical, it may not require as much time for you to be comfortable with them, but you may also incorporate an un-thought-of perception that they require being pushed, that they are not initiators on their own, that in order for them to act they must be prodded.
TERRI: Again, not hypothetical.
ELIAS: These are very insidious expressions and influences that are held in relation to those associations that are generated through the perception of a child, and they are held ever after until you become aware of them – and some individuals in one particular lifetime may never become aware of them. Until you become aware of them they are always held, and they are always influencing. In this, regardless of how intellectual or rational you may be, or how much you may admire different individuals, those insidious influences are always in play.
Also, another insidious influence is that you may, in your terms, try harder with female individuals than you will with males. Although you hold them at bay, and it may incorporate more time to allow yourself to trust them, you are more drawn to them and are more focused in wanting to be interactive with them, therefore the females become very important. “It is important to be surrounded by female energy. It is important to be surrounded with women. It is important to interact with women.” And that one gender becomes more important than the other gender.
The reason is, there is that underlying influence of proving: wanting approval and proving yourself: “I AM important, I AM worthy, I AM valuable, and I want you to see it.”
In this, this is the reason that it would be significant, yes, to incorporate a gender with each of your images, for there are different influences of each of those genders that are involved and that have been being expressed throughout this lifetime in different capacities.
TERRI: Okay. So then… I can do this. I’m proud of myself. And let’s do father and mother qualities.
ELIAS: Very well.
TERRI: And with your – it’s not a bird’s eye view, but whatever this view is that you have (laughs), magical view, omnipotence – anyway. (Elias chuckles) So for father, I’m not going to imagine my actual dad.
ELIAS: Correct.
TERRI: What type of…?
ELIAS: What would be your ideal of a father?
TERRI: Oh. I would make him handsome, tall, dark-haired, big shoulders, beautiful clothes, smells good, all of that.
ELIAS: Now; before you move on, allow yourself to evaluate: What does each of those expressions mean to you? Tall, handsome, broad shoulders…
TERRI: Strength.
ELIAS: Protective. Strong, well dressed, therefore…
TERRI: Worldly power.
ELIAS: Beyond that, security. And the forthrightness to express himself and to generate what he wants. Therefore, there are qualities incorporated in even what you view as surface attractions.
TERRI: And being, like, bold enough. There’s a strength that’s required to display those things.
ELIAS: Yes. Yes.
TERRI: Like a security.
ELIAS: Confidence. Yes. And what else would you want this ideal father to express?
TERRI: (Laughs) I’m just going to say it. I think it’s strength: big hands.
ELIAS: Ah! Big hands. That is significant, for that is not only strength, but that is also safety. Big hands are an image that can hold you, that can be protective, that can create anything and that can hold at bay anything – therefore, can be protective. No threat can pass those big hands, and you can feel safe in them. Very understandable.
And what else would you express that this image of the ideal father should be? What should he do? What would an ideal father do?
TERRI: He would have regular hours, and he would be present at dinner.
ELIAS: Be predictable. Be present.
TERRI: Yes. And be… Like when he would come in the door, the first thing I think of is like he would open his arms, like a dog would run to him.
ELIAS: Be welcoming.
TERRI: And dinner would be, like, ceremonious.
ELIAS: Be including; therefore, paying attention. He would be attentive.
TERRI: (Emotionally) The idea of dinner makes me want to cry.
ELIAS: Which is understandable. This is traditionally, in many cultures, the meal of sharing. This is the time in which the family gathers together and shares, and acknowledges, and expresses their interest, and therefore is also expressing outwardly their value of each other. Therefore, it is quite understandable that this is a symbol of connectedness and value.
And would you want him – this ideal father – to be the listener or the player? Or would you rather that the ideal mother be the listener?
TERRI: Oh, the mother. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Therefore, would the ideal father be the player? The individual to incorporate fun with, and play with, and be encouraged by in a fun and confident manner?
TERRI: Well…
ELIAS: Or would those traits not be important for the father image? Remember, he is your ideal father, therefore he can be whatever you choose.
TERRI: I would like him to be more connecting to me emotionally, and have insight and depth and be available on that level.
ELIAS: Therefore, the guider and the wisdom.
TERRI: Yes.
ELIAS: Very well. And what would your image of the ideal mother be?
TERRI: Beautiful. She’d be tall, graceful. For some reason I think reddish hair or lighter hair, not blonde but lighter. And have a soft, feminine body but be elegant and be graceful. Beautiful clothes – feminine clothing for some reason is important to me. Not too utilitarian but more refined, less useful but just beautiful.
ELIAS: For the beauty and the elegance is the image of also confidence but expressed in softness. Therefore, even the image suggests nurturing in confidence and in flow.
TERRI: That’s right, fluid clothing, yeah.
ELIAS: That there is the encouragement of flowing.
TERRI: And I think of jewelry too, like sparkling jewelry.
ELIAS: Which also, adornment is another expression of value, that this is highly prized; that flowing, that nurturing. Remember, what is nurturing? Nurturing is very simple: the encouragement to grow. Nurturing is expressed in that continuous encouragement of growth in EVERY sense, in EVERY capacity, and VALUING what is growing. And in that, expressing the preciousness of the child. As the mother in that flowing elegance, you are imaging the individual that is expressing that nurturing and truly values WHAT they are nurturing, that what they are nurturing is not only valuable, not only important, but is precious. (Pause)
And?
TERRI: And with her, I want to be able to relax and feel safe in her presence, that she is trustworthy, that she is honoring me, that she is patient with me, that she seeks to build a connection with me and is on my side?
ELIAS: Very much so. And then she would be the image of the reflection of what you are and what you can be, and she is the example of what YOU can be: all the potential, all the grace, all the elegance, all the value, all the preciousness, all the importance of what you are, expressed in its most grand form. And in that, always being that reflection, always being that example of your ultimate and highest self.
TERRI: With her, it’s interesting. As you say that, the idea of there being all these accomplishments or worldly things, I feel this contrast to the elegance or the grace (emotionally) when I hold that image together. It strikes me, like I have never put those two together, like I’ve excluded that from my own concept of potential.
ELIAS: But if you ARE genuinely confident, and valuing, and elegant, and expressing that grace, you WOULD be worldly, in your terms, for you would always be genuine, you would never be “above.” You could not be genuine and express that type of grace, and that type of elegance, if you were set apart, or if you were set above, for there would be no connecting if you were set above. Therefore, the connecting aspect IS the worldly aspect. Valuing all of it –
TERRI: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re right! That’s –
ELIAS: – to take it all in as yours.
TERRI: That’s really big. There’s a part of it that you say about “set above” where I feel like that is what I do, like to my idea of value. Wherever I got that from, I don’t know, it’s just the best I could do. (Emotionally) Understand? So what else can I add in to that? Is there anything? Because that seems big.
ELIAS: It is.
I would express that this individual, the IMAGE of this individual in its ideal, would always be welcoming and including. (Pause)
TERRI: It’s like I can hear a distant noise of that, and I know it’s connected, it’s hitting me that way, and I know there’s a lot more to that. It’s so present that I don’t see it.
ELIAS: But you will. You are embarking upon a new journey, and this is a new method. And in that, you are beginning the new method by exploring what your image – your ideal image – of these individuals would be, and some of that in those images you have not known.
TERRI: Right, yeah!
ELIAS: Therefore, they are concepts that you are reaching towards and barely touching, for they are not in your experience. You have not known them, but you can.
TERRI: My mind first went to “She asks me what I need, does what she can to help me in my life, asks me, ‘Are you okay?’ and ‘Let’s talk about your day.’” That seems the same.
ELIAS: That is the expression of welcoming and including.
TERRI: Okay. Right. I didn’t think about that, but…
ELIAS: Always welcoming and always including. You are always included, and you are always welcomed.
TERRI: Is that enough for her?
ELIAS: This is the ideal mother that you are creating. It’s not about her.
TERRI: Right. (Elias chuckles) Oh no, I can’t say right. I don’t understand.
ELIAS: Remember: Ultimately, your ideal construct of each of these individuals is you.
TERRI: As far as what she does, because with the father you asked me what he does – should we do that for her?
ELIAS: Very well. And what would you express?
TERRI: (Laughs) The first thing that’s a thought that just popped in was gardening.
ELIAS: Which is also what? Nurturing; encouraging to grow. And beauty is the expression of excellence – value.
I would express that what she does is what you expressed: She is welcoming, she is interested, she wants to share with you, she wants to hear what you have to express, she wants to be involved and invest in you, and she wants to express that role of encouragement and help by mentoring, being the example.
TERRI: Okay.
Now; let’s say she has a job; let’s say she has a passion. I like the idea of her having a passion and having a job but also being this nurturing person, this elegant person. Sometimes when you see fancy wives and fancy ladies on TV, they’ll have high-flying jobs or whatever and they have the softest voices, and they’re so calm, and they’re not menacing at all. And the notion of putting those two things together...
ELIAS: They are empowered. When you are empowered, it is not necessary to be forceful. When you know your own power, when you express your own confidence, it is not necessary for you to be forceful – you ARE. There is no thing to prove, and therefore, you can be genuinely you. You can be soft, gentle and quiet, and not push and not force, for you have already expressed your own confidence and it is unshakeable.
TERRI: Yet she would be accomplished, like have achievements.
ELIAS: Yes. Which would also be a part of that confidence: the power of the self, the knowing that you can generate and achieve anything you choose, and that there is no obstacle that can prevent you from whatever you choose to do, for you incorporate the strength, the power, the determination, the will, and the confidence to do it.
TERRI: And yet still gentle and still open to…
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: That is radical. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Let me express to you, have you ever incorporated a moment – even if it is merely a moment – in which you were interacting with another individual in which the other individual may express a very different point of view from yourself, and perhaps a very different opinion from yourself, but in that moment you also recognize that it is not a matter of a right or a wrong but that you genuinely express different perceptions about a particular subject, and in that moment feel calm and no necessity to express your opinion to the other individual? Have you ever incorporated even a moment of that?
TERRI: Sure.
ELIAS: In genuineness – not that you are not expressing your opinion for you do not want to engage a conflict, or not that you are viewing the other individual’s difference and expressing to yourself, “It is pointless to express myself for they will not hear me.”
TERRI: Well, yes, with clothing or something.
ELIAS: Very well, yes. In which you genuinely recognize the difference, and it is not threatening, and in that, you are confident enough in your own expression that it is not necessary for you to express your opinion. It matters not. And the other individual may express whatever they choose, and you are comfortable not expressing any different.
That is a moment that illustrates the WHOLE of what you are describing: an individual that is confident, values themself, expresses their own power and accomplishments or achievements, and is comfortable in that consistently, always, in which it is not necessary for them to be forceful or for them to be pushing, for they are already expressing themself genuinely, (with emphasis) and there is no threat.
TERRI: I’m close, you know? Yeah.
ELIAS: I am aware, or we would not be engaging this conversation.
TERRI: (Laughs) Yeah.
ELIAS: When you value yourself genuinely, when you recognize your deservingness genuinely, when you express confidence in yourself, you express the freedom to BE gentle and it is not at odds with strength, for no outside source is a threat.
TERRI: Let’s move this to… It’s open to me, so I can create any imagery. So for value and me specifically, I mean it can be anything. I can have colors. I can have scenarios. What do you think would be the most beneficial?
ELIAS: As an image of yourself?
TERRI: For me to move into, you know, within hypnosis.
ELIAS: What I am inquiring is, as an image of value is this a symbolic image that you attach to other images to express the presence of value? Or are you designing an image for yourself that represents you as your value? Which?
TERRI: The second one sounds more potent. I want whichever one’s going to be more effective for me.
ELIAS: You can use the second one in both scenarios if you are so choosing, therefore it would be powerful. In that, what I would suggest, in keeping with your image of the ideal mother as a female individual and yourself being a female individual, I would suggest that you choose what is the most pleasing and attention-holding gem as your image of your value. Which gem would you choose?
TERRI: (27-second pause) I can think of a few. I think of opals as intriguing, fascinating. I think of peridot for the color. I like amber-colored but clear, whatever that is. I like sometimes sapphires – I’m not familiar with them but it’s unusual, interesting.
ELIAS: A gem is an excellent representation, for it is a symbol of value that you can incorporate a color. Therefore, it includes the color and it is an expression of brightness; therefore, brilliance.
Now; the sapphire is blue. When I express to you “Choose a gem,” include the color. What color, and therefore what stone, is most attractive to you?
TERRI: (Pause) So opal goes out.
ELIAS: No, you could incorporate the opal, and I will express why; but first, let us remain with the subject of which you will choose.
TERRI: (21-second pause) I think of sapphire because it’s exotic that a stone can have that color, and there’s a foreign exoticism to that. Peridot is that familiar green, but that might be too much something I have already defined in myself, so I can see it being advantageous to have something a little bit more exotic to be, like, representative of the new.
ELIAS: Then I would suggest the opal.
TERRI: Okay.
ELIAS: A fire opal. And it incorporates all the colors.
TERRI: Okay.
ELIAS: That is the reason that I reserved that.
A fire opal is a precious stone; it is also a soft stone. (Terri laughs) And a fire opal is a BRILLIANT soft stone. What is meant by a soft stone is that soft stones require care, and attention, for they are easily damaged; they are not hard and resilient as some other precious gems may be. In this, they are vulnerable to damage and require being paid attention to, and being careful with – which, I would express, is perfect for you.
[The timer for the session rings]
For you are vulnerable, you are soft, and in that, you ARE precious and deserve to be paid attention to and not be damaged.
Therefore, I would suggest that you incorporate the fire opal as your symbol of you, of your value and how important it is. In that, you can image it yourself, to yourself as yourself. You can also image it when you are generating these expressions of imagery and when you are visualizing – not your ideal parents [but] when you are visualizing your actual parents, visualize the brilliance of that fire opal in front of them: an immense, brilliant stone.
TERRI: I should make it large?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Should it be faceted?
ELIAS: No. I would express a rounded stone, which will allow for no sharp edges, which allows a flow and allows all of the colors of the fire opal to be displayed in their brilliance without angles.
TERRI: So that rather than scenarios that I might actually live?
ELIAS: You could. You can incorporate that also.
TERRI: Maybe in time?
ELIAS: Yes. But perhaps temporarily, the brilliance of the stone will be more powerful.
TERRI: Okay.
ELIAS: For you can use that in many expressions.
TERRI: Mm-hm. So… (Elias chuckles) I’ve never been here before. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: And I would express that that is excellent! (Chuckles)
TERRI: (Laughs) Yeah.
ELIAS: Genuine movement, genuine forward motion.
TERRI: (Laughs) Yeah. Wow!
ELIAS: Congratulations. This is some accomplishment. Well done. (Chuckles)
TERRI: I don’t have anything else to say right now.
ELIAS: Very well. We shall discontinue, and you have much to assimilate.
TERRI: I do.
ELIAS: And remember, my energy is always present with you – always. I shall be anticipating our next meeting gleefully. (Both laugh)
In tremendous affection to you, my dear friend, and in glorious lovingness, acknowledging your brilliance, to you, my dear one, au revoir.
TERRI: Good-bye.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 3 minutes)
Copyright 2013 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.