Session 201306041

Blood Pressure and Sensitivity


“Blood Pressure and Sensitivity”
“Allowing Genuine Emotional Expressions”
“Noticing the Hesitation”

Tuesday, June 4, 2013 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Nuno (Lystell)

ELIAS: Good morning!

NUNO: Good morning.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) And what have you been accomplishing?

NUNO: Ah! What have I been accomplishing? I’ve been trying to do better at paying attention, trying to… I came to a realization, I think, about my relationship with my body consciousness, which I didn’t realize before, perhaps.

ELIAS: Excellent! And what was your realization?

NUNO: That it is just part of me (Elias laughs), and that I should avoid discounting myself. And I learned that lesson kind of hard.

ELIAS: Ah! Do tell.

NUNO: Well, I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I was very preoccupied with why the body consciousness was creating these blood pressure manifestations. I started having a monologue about it, and I became very angry at it and upset and whatever, and it didn’t end up too well that way. So…

ELIAS: Interesting. But in that, did this realization allow you to be more relaxed with your body consciousness, or be more accepting of it?

NUNO: Yes, definitely. I mean, I understand that better now, I think.

ELIAS: Rather than thinking that it is an enemy or that it is generating actions against you.

NUNO: Yes. That was the whole point. And I realize now that the actions are mine.

ELIAS: Ah! Congratulations! And, what have you been generating since that realization? Any differences?

NUNO: It’s better. I mean, I’ve had a couple of unusual, or not so much unusual but a couple of difficult times that I don’t quite understand how it is that I created them. But other than that it’s been better, yes.

ELIAS: How so?

NUNO: How so better?

ELIAS: In relation to the unusual.

NUNO: Well, I guess… It’s kind of a very trivial story, but there was… Actually, what it is, is I realized that very often the blood pressure manifestation is just a result of me paying attention to it, and me initiating it because I start to think about it and I start to focus on it. And then I start thinking, “Oh, is it going to start now?” and of course that does start it, so that’s, I think, what happens often.

ELIAS: Did you notice in that what prompts you to start thinking about it?

NUNO: I’m not sure.

ELIAS: And what have you recognized as some examples that prompt you to start thinking about it?

NUNO: Well, there was the one thing that I was going to talk about. There was a fire in the house, not a very serious fire. My wife discovered it and it wasn’t very serious, but I immediately jumped up and addressed to it, to stop it. And I noticed afterwards that I was very tense about it, of course, because it was a very serious situation potentially. It could have been a very serious situation. And then I noticed, wow, my blood pressure seems to be kind of creeping up, and I’m wondering if that was a result of that. I think the result was more because I paid attention to it.

ELIAS: That is a part of it. But let me also express to you that generally speaking blood pressure, and the elevation of blood pressure, generally is a manifestation or a symptom that occurs with individuals that are generally considerably sensitive but that generally attempt or learn how to somewhat stifle that sensitivity, and in doing so, the body consciousness reacts.

And in that, this is the reason that, generally speaking, in relation to individuals that manifest blood pressure situations or manifestations, they usually create their blood pressure becoming elevated in time frameworks in which there is some type of emotional situation. And the automatic action is to somewhat quell the emotional expression, and what occurs is that it becomes expressed in a physical manner rather than in what the individual may think of as an extreme in an emotional capacity.

Now in actuality, their emotional response would not necessarily be actually an extreme, but for most individuals that develop this type of physical manifestation, they generate a perception that most emotional expressions that they would generate, if they allowed themselves to do so, would be an extreme.

In this, the actual issue is allowing yourself to become more familiar with your natural sensitivity and becoming more comfortable with the expressions of that – which can be challenging. For, as I expressed, most individuals that generate this type of physical manifestation have learned throughout their lifetime not to be expressing in their own natural capacity. Therefore, you develop what you think of as your natural expression of sensitivity or emotional expression, which is blocked or is expressed in almost a more neutral manner that is not actually natural for you, but it is what you are familiar with.

Therefore, any situation that prompts those types of responses also incorporates the tendency, as it is a trigger, to elevate the blood pressure.

Now, what would your assessment be in relation to that sensitivity? What would be a beneficial avenue for you to explore?

NUNO: Well, I certainly recognize I’m a sensitive person and that I can be very emotional, and especially in situations involving others I do try and contain that. I’m not sure what I do with this other than express it in some way.

ELIAS: Correct. But I would express that the first aspect is to allow yourself to evaluate what do you think would occur if you allowed yourself to express yourself genuinely in that sensitivity. For this may seem to be a simple question, and it may seem very simplistic in some capacities, but in actuality, if you are not accustomed to allowing yourself to express the genuine sensitivity and your genuine emotional expressions, it is very likely that you have not actually objectively considered what may be the consequence – which is not unusual. Many individuals generate associations with consequences and do not even know what those consequences may be.

Therefore, if you were allowing yourself to consider that, what would you express would possibly be a consequence of allowing yourself to express yourself?

NUNO: It depends very much on the situation, but very often it’s because of all those other individuals, and I would perceive myself as discounting myself because I would perceive myself as opening myself to vulnerability, or I would think that perhaps they think that I am too sensitive or too emotional, that kind of thing.

ELIAS: Therefore, not strong enough.

NUNO: Yeah. Of course. It feeds back into the whole self-worth issue.

ELIAS: I would agree. Now, conversely, if you encounter an individual that is considerably sensitive, do you automatically also evaluate them to be weak?

NUNO: No. Not at all.

ELIAS: Which is an excellent point, for if you do not consider ANOTHER individual that is considerably sensitive to be weak, then why would you consider that in yourself?

NUNO: Well, I don’t, consciously. I just think that that’s probably one of the main factors that holds back the expression.

ELIAS: I agree. And perhaps it may be beneficial to you to practice allowing yourself to express yourself in the moment in a genuine manner. And in that, your very first indicator in the moment is if you hesitate, if you are beginning to express yourself and you stop, or you hesitate – and it requires no thinking in those hesitations, for it is so familiar that it is automatic. But – if you are paying attention, you will notice the hesitation, and that is all that is required. For when you notice the hesitation, or the stop point, in that moment you can objectively choose different. You can choose to allow yourself to express what you feel – (with emphasis) however you feel it – without conditions.

NUNO: Okay.

ELIAS: Very well!

NUNO: (Pause) Do you have anything else? Or shall we continue?

ELIAS: You may continue.

NUNO: Okay. I wasn’t actually going to ask anything specific of you today. I was just going to ask you to talk to me and discuss with me anything that you feel would be helpful to me in overcoming my challenges and in making this focus more satisfying to me. And I just wanted to add that there’s really no subject that is too sensitive for you to talk about.

ELIAS: Very well. I would express that this present subject is an excellent subject for you, for it is a subject that you involve yourself with often – often to the point of a daily basis, in which it is affecting of you, for it involves this physical manifestation of your blood pressure. And in that, that is a continuous, ongoing manifestation and experience that you are engaging.

In this, in daily activity – and this is important, for it is not only in situations that seem to be more extreme, such as a fire or another individual and their emotional expression, or some scenario that seems more extreme; it is not necessarily extreme situations. This is an action that you have learned to be expressing in EVERY situation, regardless of what it is, evaluating within a moment what is appropriate or inappropriate expressions; therefore, continuously projecting your attention to gauge yourself against what other individuals are expressing, or what they might express in any given situation. Which extends in relation to family, friends, work – it matters not.

What would you express if you were to identify some examples of gauging your expression by other individuals?

NUNO: I’m not sure I have any example in mind right now, but I know it happens quite frequently. It happens VERY frequently.

ELIAS: Yes, for you are very accustomed to this. And in this, it could be as simple as having a conversation with your partner or one of your children, or it could be involving some type of confrontation with an individual at your work. Or, it could be a situation in which you may disagree with some expression that another individual is engaging. They may generate a statement that you disagree with.

It is not always necessary to engage other individuals if you disagree with them. That is not actually the point. The point is not stifling yourself, which, when you ARE comfortable with yourself, your motivation in whether you respond or not will be very different. There may be times in which you may disagree with another individual, and you may choose not to engage them and not to express that. But your reason for not expressing will be different than it is now.

NUNO: I understand this. Yes.

ELIAS: In this, THAT is the most significant point, is allowing yourself – in steps – to begin to practice noticing in any scenario: What are you doing? What is your response? Even if your response is a non-response. Why? In this, evaluating the difference between what you do express and what would be a genuine expression.

That may be an excellent avenue to begin with: not to expect yourself to actually be expressing differently than you are presently but merely allowing yourself to notice what those differences are. Notice the moment that you hesitate, and then allow yourself to pay attention: What is the actual feeling that is occurring presently? For I would express that in many situations – not all, but many – you do not even recognize that you ARE feeling, for it has become so usual and you have become so accustomed to not allowing yourself to express genuinely and rather channel that energy into a physical manifestation, that you may not even recognize the feeling when it is occurring. Therefore, that in itself can be another challenge to pay attention to: identifying what IS the feeling that is occurring and define it.

In this, the factor of evaluating what the message is, I would express, would not necessarily be that difficult for you. I would express that it would be more difficult for you to define and to allow than it would be for you to evaluate what is the message that is being expressed in relation to that signal of a feeling. For, I would express that you are relatively successful at evaluating, and therefore that aspect of the process would not be considerably difficult for you individually – perhaps for other individuals, but not yourself. It is more a matter of allowance with yourself, and the recognition that you can do that.

And it may initially be slightly surprising to other individuals around you, merely that they are unaccustomed to it, but I would also express to you that they would adjust to that and accept it rather quickly. For, I would express that most individuals that you surround yourself with are already aware that you naturally express that sensitivity; they are merely not accustomed to you expressing it. (Pause)

What would you evaluate as the most challenging factor for you in this regard?

NUNO: When interacting with others?

ELIAS: And expressing yourself and expressing your sensitivity and allowing your feelings in a genuine capacity, in defining what those feelings are, noticing that there is a feeling present and defining what it is – all of these factors. What would you express you would evaluate as the most challenging aspect of that process?

NUNO: I’d have to say it’s likely the noticing that I’m either expressing in a way that I don’t feel is natural or that I am inhibiting myself in some way. I tend to get captured by the moment in what’s going on, and I stop noticing and I don’t pause to evaluate.

ELIAS: Which is understandable. Now in this, remember what I expressed to you: A simple and easy manner in which you can identify or you can allow yourself to be paying attention is, while you are engaged in any scenario with any other individual – even in becoming, in your terms, caught up in the situation or, in my terms, holding your attention upon the outside source – even in that, you can be quite focused upon the scenario or what is being engaged, and you will feel that momentary hesitation. In a manner of speaking, it is… a hitch in your energy. And, it will actually change your breathing momentarily.

That hesitation will create a moment of a feeling. You may not necessarily objectively identify the feeling in that moment, for it may be very quick. But – with the hesitation, if you are merely creating the suggestion to yourself and repeating that suggestion to yourself several times within your day, even in a scenario in which your attention is very concentrated on an outside source, or caught in the moment, you will begin to notice that moment of hesitation. Your breathing changes. It becomes more shallow. It may not remain shallow, but for a period, for a moment, it WILL become shallow, and you will actually generate a physical sensation in your throat. It is very brief, but it does occur. For, the first energy center to react will be the blue, that energy center of communication, and you will actually feel a moment in your throat in which your breathing is shallow and your actual trachea begins to constrict. It does not last; it may occur for a second, maybe two seconds. Therefore, it is very quick.

But, as I expressed, if periodically throughout your day you are merely offering yourself the suggestion, “Pay attention to hesitations,” in reminding yourself of that suggestion, you are also communicating to the body consciousness, “Pay attention when I hesitate.” Your attention will more likely – briefly, but it will – move to that hesitation. It is astounding how effective suggestion is.

NUNO: Okay.

ELIAS: You could express a suggestion to yourself to notice the scent of rose, and even if you do not present yourself with a flower, there may be moments within your day that you will smell rose, for you have planted the suggestion that you will.

Your body consciousness, as you realize, is a part of you. It is not merely a vessel, and it is definitely not independent of you. It is instructed by you. It does not generate any action independently of you.

Therefore, when you generate a suggestion, it will respond. It already DOES respond, but you can direct how it is responding also. And therefore, in expressing the suggestion to yourself to be aware of a hesitation, or any hesitations, you alert the body consciousness, in a manner of speaking, to almost exaggerate hesitations, and therefore you WILL notice.

It is not as complicated or difficult as you think it is. You can be generating an interaction with another individual, or even a scenario in which another individual may not be involved. You may be engaging a book or some project, or you may be driving your car, or you may be generating some action in the garden. It matters not, for it is not a requirement that another individual be present interacting with you to trigger you in relation to what is appropriate and what is not appropriate.

As a hypothetical example, you could be engaging an action alone, outside. Let us say hypothetically that you are tending to a lawn in a yard, and at some point in that mundane action, one of your senses inputs some information that triggers a memory or an association. And you may not be thinking, and therefore you may not actually recall the memory, and you may not incorporate any thought in relation to the association. But in a moment, in what appears to be no rational reason, you experience an uncomfortable feeling and immediately dismiss it. Or, you notice the hesitation when that feeling occurs, and you notice the change in one second of breathing, and you stop, and you pay attention to what THAT is, rather than automatically immediately dismissing it and not feeling it.

That immediate dismissal is you automatically expressing that communication, “This is inappropriate. There is no reason for me to feel this in this moment.”

And let me express to you, my friend, those types of feelings can be very beneficial to pay attention to, for they can offer you significant information that you can be more self-directing with. Such as, there may be a feeling generated that seems irrational and that there is no reason for, and in actuality perhaps that feeling is occurring to alert you that there is overstimulation occurring around you that you are not comfortable with, and that this particular overstimulation actually occurs repeatedly in patterns. But you are not aware of it, for each time that feeling occurs which seems to be irrational and for no reason, you immediately dismiss it. And subsequently, you engage in an action that IS overwhelming or overstimulating to you, and you create a reaction physically to it.

A hypothetical example again, and this occurs with many individuals: Individuals incorporate different responses to different seasons. Most individuals incorporate responses to winter and summer the most obviously. Individuals become more active in summer, less active in winter. Some individuals become more reclusive in the winter. These are more obvious expressions that occur with most individuals. But – let us say that an individual hypothetically incorporates a repeated pattern within the beginning of spring every year in which they become agitated or unmotivated and feel that they want to be more reclusive, and they express the question to themself, “Why am I feeling this? There is no reason. The weather is becoming warmer, the sun is shining, it is spring – I should be more motivated, and I find myself to be LESS motivated.” This is a hypothetical example.

And in that, the individual may be responding to the change in the season that it is overstimulating to them. They have been accustomed to being quieter or less active within the winter, and in the spring it seems to abruptly change, and for some individuals, that may be overstimulating. And what the individual does in response to that is become unmotivated and want to retreat.

Those feelings can be very beneficial to be aware of, regardless that it SEEMS that there is no reason for them. There is NEVER no reason for feelings. And, no feelings are inappropriate. They may not all be valid, but they are never inappropriate.

I would express that the only feelings that it is beneficial to pay less attention to are repeat feelings. Those are indicators of “then” feelings. It is important to pay attention to them to the point that you understand what they are; it is not important to pay attention to them to the exclusion of what they mean, but that would hold consistently with any feelings. It is merely that “then” feelings are easier to pay attention to, for they are ongoing.

In this, I would express that in this time framework, what will be most beneficial to you is to notice the hesitations and to merely allow yourself to evaluate what would you have expressed without the hesitation, merely to entertain the identification of what you would express without the hesitation.

NUNO: Okay. I find with myself that often, in retrospect when I think about these situations that you see, what it is that I find lacking was not what I did not express; it was what I DID express, and I would rather have not expressed something.


NUNO: Because it was not an expression… It was not a true expression. It was not an expression that was really reflecting what I would like to have said.

ELIAS: Which is the same. It is the same. For, that is merely a different manifestation of the same issue, not allowing yourself to express yourself genuinely.

When you express in manners that you wished you did not, that is the same as not expressing at all, for the issue is not allowing yourself to be genuine.

NUNO: Yes. And the main reason I don’t express in a genuine manner, usually it’s because I lack confidence or I’m feeling insecure or I’m feeling fearful or something like that.

ELIAS: Correct. That is the reason that I expressed to you to allow yourself to play with the evaluation of what is the consequence, for generally, you do not even know what the consequence is.

NUNO: Okay. The thing is that often I express defensively. That’s really my biggest problem, is expressing defensively. It’s not so much that I’m holding back on expression; it’s just that I automatically express defensively.

ELIAS: Which, once again I will express a reiteration: That is the same. It is the same. It is motivated from the same source. Whether you are expressing in defense, and therefore expressing what you do not want to express, or whether you are not expressing at all, it matters not. It is the same source.

Therefore, what I am expressing to you holds in either situation. If you are expressing in defense, you are not expressing yourself genuinely. And if you are not expressing yourself genuinely, for YOU the reason is that your sensitivity is not acceptable. But it is.

[The timer for the session rings]

You react in defense as an expression of protection: protecting yourself against what you perceive as a possible consequence if you DO express yourself. But you do not even know what the consequence is!

Therefore, the first step is to notice that hesitation – for there will be a hesitation, whether you are stopping yourself or whether you are automatically jumping in defense. There is a moment in which you alter, to stop yourself from expressing genuinely.

Therefore, that is what I am expressing to you to pay attention to and to notice, those moments of that hesitation that changes your perception and changes your action from allowing to defending.

And if you will, if you move in the direction of defending, allow yourself a moment to evaluate: What motivated that defense? What was threatening to you? What was the threat that motivated that defense? In many, many, many situations, when you can identify what you perceive is the threat, it dissipates. And in the next encounter, that defense is not so automatic.

NUNO: Okay. Thank you. I’m always at my best when I’m expressing naturally, and those situations occur when I am feeling most confident and well with myself.

ELIAS: Very well. And I shall be offering my energy to you in encouragement and supportiveness, to be helpful in nurturing that genuineness and reminding you that it is not necessary for you to defend.

NUNO: Okay. (Elias laughs) Merci beaucoup.

ELIAS: I shall be anticipating our next meeting and a response to that initial question of what are you accomplishing. (Laughs)

NUNO: (Chuckles) Okay. I guess I didn’t answer that properly. (Both laugh)

ELIAS: In tremendous affection to you, my friend, and in great encouragement, until our next meeting, au revoir.

NUNO: Au revoir.

(Elias departs after 1 hour 3 minutes)

Copyright 2013 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.