Friday, May 18, 2007 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anon

“Following your intuition, and genuinely listening to yourself allows you to be projecting an energy of allowance, which creates more of what you want, rather than forcing and creating an opposing energy, and generating obstacles.”

ELIAS: Good morning!

ANON: Good morning, Elias. Thanks for talking to me.

ELIAS: (Laughs) You are very welcome.

ANON: I've been in some emotional turmoil, lately. And I'm having some trouble figuring it all out. I'm not sure why I'm having so much turmoil, exactly. Part of it is my disgust, thinking about getting this new job. I have a lot of fears about it, you know. One of my fears is I won't have any friends anymore, because when I'm a supervisor I can't really be friends with the staff I'm supervising. And –

ELIAS: Why?

ANON: What? Why?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I don't know. I guess it's… Is it harder to be the supervisor of people in that case?

ELIAS: Not necessarily. You can allow yourself to connect with individuals and also be directive. It is merely a matter of generating a balance. And in that, addressing to what you are directing, and not incorporating the element of personalizing.

ANON: Okay. But it would be really hard if I was friends with someone and they really needed a lot of discipline. Or possibly even being let go, or fired. That would be pretty hard for me.

ELIAS: I am understanding, but I would express to you, first of all, that it is unnecessary, and distracting, and creating anxiety – to be projecting futurely in relation to POSSIBLE scenarios that have not occurred yet.

ANON: Okay. I feel a lot of positive things about this possible job. And is this a good time for me to apply? I feel like I need to wait a little bit longer.

ELIAS: I would express the suggestion to you, to follow your intuition.

ANON: Okay. But it will still be there for me? I don't need to feel rushed?

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: Okay.

ELIAS: Following your intuition, and genuinely listening to yourself allows you to be projecting an energy of allowance, which creates more of what you want, rather than forcing and creating an opposing energy, and generating obstacles.

ANON: Right. And I think because I took this little personality test yesterday at work and I said I'm a promoter. So I get more… I think I create a pushing energy more than I'm aware of. Is this correct?

ELIAS: At times.

ANON: But this isn't a significant factor?

ELIAS: No. I would express to you that the expression of anticipating futurely, can be a significant factor.

ANON: Okay. Well, I think part of my anxiety is also that I'm not really… I'm somewhat projecting futurely, but I'm also doing it less in some ways. And that actually makes me feel anxious, too. (Elias laughs) But, I mean, I guess then I can trust that. I'm not projecting futurely, so…

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay. Is there any other issues about this position, or preparing myself, that I need to address?

ELIAS: Allow yourself to relax. Do not doubt yourself.

ANON: Okay. And would you say that this Pete, working with this one in tarot, would help me to build on my confidence, reduce my self-doubt, and be more grounded? Or not necessary?

ELIAS: It can, yes.

ANON: But not really necessary?

ELIAS: It is dependent upon you, my friend, in what you allow yourself and how you engage the situation. Or how you engage the other individual. If you are engaging the other individual in the position of gleaning from the other individual what may be beneficial for you, and allowing yourself to be offering yourself more information that will be helpful to you, then yes, it can be beneficial.

ANON: Okay. I'm thinking more that, would working with Herb or maybe working with Barbara — are they both equally effective for me?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay. Because one of them would be a lot easier to work with. Barbara is right here in Colorado. I'm thinking it would maybe help me access an emotional state of confidence, or groundedness, that I'm not accessing currently. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay. And I have this other issue about getting a partner, or a boyfriend, or a husband, or something where I just feel, somehow… I have this fixation that I need a particular man, in order to feel a partnership and to feel intimacy. I have this craving for intimacy that is unmet. And it's very difficult for me to tolerate it. Do you have any comments on this?

ELIAS: We have discussed this previously, and –

ANON: I'm wondering if it's like, a sort of an illusion of what these kind of relationships can provide. In other words, I'm under an illusion that it provides something that it doesn't. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Somewhat. For, yes, the illusion is that the relationship itself provides some acquisition of some expression that you view yourself to be lacking. In actuality, in a significant relationship with another individual what occurs is, if the relationship is successful, the other individual is merely enhancing what you yourself are expressing, or what you, yourself, is allowing. For in that, what is actually occurring is you are generating the reflection of yourself, just as you do with any individual, but in a more concentrated form.

ANON: All right. Well, would it be a benefit for me to date several men just so I can learn what I like, or gain confidence with it? So that I'm not dictated to?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay.

ELIAS: I would also express to you, to be aware of yourself and what you are doing, and how you are responding to other individuals.

ANON: How I'm responding. What are you referring to with that?

ELIAS: When you interact with another individual, as example, if you are engaging dating another individual, pay attention to how you respond and how you react with the other individual. And in this, you will become more aware of your own expectations. Your expectations of yourself and your expectations of the other individual.

ANON: Okay. I feel pretty anxious about this process. Do you have any suggestions about how to lower that anxiety?

ELIAS: The suggestion that I would express to you, is to allow yourself to stop dwelling upon this subject.

ANON: The subject of dating?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Or the subject of expectation for…

ELIAS: All of it. For what you doing is dwelling upon this subject of a relationship, as a GOAL.

ANON: Oh, I see. Okay.

ELIAS: And in that, you are generating this anxiety, for every moment that the GOAL is not materialized, you become more anxious.

ANON: Oh, I see. Okay.

ELIAS: Allow yourself to be present, and stop projecting futurely.

ANON: Okay. And then I wanted to check out some things about Steve. First of all, he asked me to inquire as to how aggressively he should expand his business.

ELIAS: (Pause) In what manner?

ANON: Well, he wants to hire a third person. That's what he said.

ELIAS: That would be his choice. And I would express, in that choice, as he presents potential individuals for the position, that it would be beneficial to him to genuinely listen to his intuition in relation to the other individual. And to pay attention to the energy of the other individual to evaluate the compatibility.

ANON: Okay. All right.

And then, for some reason, he just completely changed, about three weeks ago, into just not wanting anything sexual. And what's going on with that?

ELIAS: THAT is evidence of YOUR energy.

ANON: What do you mean?

ELIAS: YOU have been moving in the direction of wanting to create a friendship, but not necessarily engaging a romantic relationship with this individual. And you have been moving in the direction of paying more attention to yourself, and paying more attention to your preferences and allowing yourself to express your preferences. And in that, you are projecting a different type of energy. And therefore, you create more of what you want without sacrificing, or without eliminating, certain elements in your interactions and your environment. You do not want to sacrifice your friendship. You do not want to move into the black or white, either/or – either we are engaging a romantic relationship, or we are not engaging at all. You want to be engaging and continue to incorporate your friendship, but in a different manner. And you are accomplishing that.

ANON: Okay. Well, I felt like he was possibly involved in some sort of relationship with his roommate Lisa?

ELIAS: Not necessarily.

ANON: Well, what do you mean, not necessarily?

ELIAS: Not in this moment. There is that potential of –

ANON: Well, I felt like there was some sort of relationship between them that was romantic.

ELIAS: I would express that, once again, there is a potential for that.

ANON: Okay. Why did he take her flying and then tell me about it? I mean, I appreciate his honesty, but is that part of our being a friendship, or was that to make me angry? I'm not sure why that happened.

ELIAS: Do you not share your experiences with friends?

ANON: Okay. Well, I just… He's been very secretive with me in the past, and so this would be a change.

ELIAS: I am aware. But this is in accordance with YOUR energy changing.

ANON: Okay, so he feels free to be more honest with me because I don't have an expectation on him.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: Okay.

ELIAS: And therefore, there is no threat. And therefore, the other individual feels more freedom to be sharing with you, and engaging your friendship. I would express to you an acknowledgement for your accomplishment.

ANON: Oh, okay. Thank you. Yes, it's been quite difficult for me to accomplish it, so pretty amazing, actually, that I have. (Elias chuckles).

Now, she was asking us (if there was) a problem with our relationship. She asked me that three times. Why did she do that? Has he been talking to her about us?

ELIAS: I would express that it is more of a misunderstanding in relation to her – a misunderstanding on her part, of the nature of your relationship.

ANON: What's the misunderstanding?

ELIAS: The misunderstanding of your friendship.

ANON: So she thinks that we're friends, or she thinks that I'm his girlfriend.

ELIAS: She is aware that you are friends and is not quite understanding of that friendship.

ANON: Okay. Well, I got the impression… Okay. She seems too involved in his life, that's why I was kind of worried, and jealous and thinking that they were conferring quite a bit.

ELIAS: Why shall you move into the direction of jealously, when you are creating precisely what you want. You are creating –

ANON: That's because I want to keep his friendship, but I also… I don't know.

You just told me that he was camouflaging and I thought that maybe that was with her. So… But I don't know. If he was telling me that somebody had told him that he was seeming really on edge over the past few weeks. And I figured it was either her or his friend Rebecca, one of those two people, because he wouldn't tell me. He said he forgot who it was.

ELIAS: And what is the significance of this?

ANON: Just that he's not telling me who it is, and so then that makes me wonder who it is. And why he's not telling me.

ELIAS: And once again, what is the significance of this to you?

ANON: Um… (pause)

ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend –

ANON: I fear if this is taking away my relationship with him.

ELIAS: How so? You continue to interact with him.

ANON: I know.

ELIAS: You continue to generate your friendship. He continues to interact with you.

ANON: I guess I just feel hurt that he's not being open with me.

ELIAS: Do you share every aspect of yourself with other individuals that you deem to be friends?

ANON: No.

ELIAS: Correct. In this, you want to be generating a friendship with this individual, without generating expectations of them. But you continue to hold to some elements of a different type of relationship.

ANON: Okay. Well, okay.

ELIAS: If you are genuinely friends with another individual and you are allowing yourself to share that type of relationship, whether the other individual engages other relationships or not, will not be threatening. For that does not discount your friendship.

ANON: Okay.

I noticed that he created some more male energy in his life. Like with this new male assistant, and sharing this room with this man in Seattle. And my impression was that he's testing out his feelings for men. Is this correct?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. Not necessarily sexually, but in relation to how he can connect.

ANON: Yeah. Okay. And is he becoming more consciously at ease with his sexuality and his preferences.

ELIAS: Not necessarily.

ANON: Okay. So that's what the camouflaging was?

ELIAS: Yes. There is continuing to be a considerable confusion and denial.

ANON: Okay. Well, I thought that was actually part of his not wanting to be sexual with me. Because that brought up those feelings.

ELIAS: No.

ANON: Is that not correct?

ELIAS: No. That would not be correct. This is YOU generating assumptions.

ANON: Okay. Well, then his camouflage, was that due to him dating other women, or going out with other women, or communicating with Rebecca, or something?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay. Has he had sex with someone else?

ELIAS: And how is this significant to you?

ANON: Okay, okay.

ELIAS: If you are genuinely engaging a friendship, whether he engages that type of action or not, matters not. For it does not affect you.

ANON: I guess I just feel the loss of our sex life. That feels like a loss for me. Because that's the loss of a sex life for me, too.

ELIAS: I would suggest that you allow yourself a time framework to genuinely reevaluate what you want. For you are successfully creating what you expressed that you wanted.

ANON: Right.

ELIAS: And NOW you are expressing a discomfort with that.

ANON: Right. Because I've lost a sex partner and I'm really afraid to find a new sex partner.

ELIAS: And this would be associated with that element of not dwelling upon the GOAL. And allowing yourself to become comfortable within yourself, and that will allow you to naturally draw to yourself another individual that you CAN express a different type of relationship with.

ANON: All right. I don't know. I just feel so anxious all the time and I have so much trouble just being in the moment and not projecting. It's just so difficult for me.

Okay. Would you tell me if Steve does feel like a genuine, strong friendship with me?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: And true caring for me, as a person.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay. It feels, actually, stronger now than it's ever been, in some ways.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ANON: Would you agree with that?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Now that we don't have that expectation.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: (Pause) All right.

Well, can you tell me why he keeps saying I'm his girlfriend and he's my boyfriend, if he doesn't feel that way anymore?

ELIAS: It is playful.

ANON: Oh, okay. I'm just afraid of losing him to somebody else. Anyways.

All right, let me ask you about this. I had a dream of a whale, and it was really a joyful feeling, to experience the whale. But there was also a dead baby whale and I'm wondering what that was.

ELIAS: And your impression?

ANON: Well, was it the old, the death of the old? It didn't seem negative.

ELIAS: It is more associated with acceptance.

ANON: Acceptance?

ELIAS: Yes. That experiences are generated within your life that at times may seem uncomfortable, but in generating acceptance of what you are creating, it generates more of an allowance, which allows you to be comfortable.

ANON: All right.

And then the big whale that I saw, I felt like that was part of my essence.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay.

And I wanted to ask for my son: is there any activity that he can do for his headaches?

ELIAS: (Pause) You can express to him that he can generate a relaxation exercise in which he relaxes every area of his body. Moving from the top of his head, to the bottom of his feet. Visualizing the energy, as he relaxes, forming a silver cord that moves downward through his body, pulling with it any element of tension and releasing that through his feet, into the ground.

ANON: Okay.

And I've noticed that I've been really emotionally flat and depressed and lacking joy. I'm not sure why that is.

ELIAS: That is, once again, associated with projecting.

ANON: What am I projecting that's causing that?

ELIAS: You are projecting in relation to the future. Anticipating, in all directions: in association with other individuals, in association with yourself, in association with your employment, with relationships. Regardless of the subject, you are projecting futurely, anticipating. And in that, you are generating anxiety. And the anxiety is dampening the motivation.

ANON: Okay. All righty.

I wanted to ask about Steve's health. He gets so tired and what is that from? Is that just some sort of a disease?

ELIAS: No.

ANON: What is it from?

ELIAS: Tension and pressure.

ANON: Okay. Regarding his business?

ELIAS: In relation to many elements.

ANON: Is it his sexuality? Is that a big part of it?

ELIAS: There are many factors.

ANON: Oh, are there any that you can tell me about?

ELIAS: And how is this of benefit to you?

ANON: Just, I guess out of friendship and wanting to be supportive.

ELIAS: You can be supportive without being instructional. And myself offering you information in relation to these types of questions, encourages you to be instructional.

ANON: Okay. All right.

Well, is there anything else I need to know at this time?

ELIAS: My suggestion, my dear friend, is to genuinely allow yourself to relax, stop projecting, be present. There is enough to occupy you in the now, in the present. And there's enough to explore and discover.

ANON: Okay.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) I would also suggest that you allow yourself to incorporate more fun.

ANON: I don't really have any friends. Should I just invite people I work with, out to do things?

ELIAS: If you are so choosing. And allow yourself to explore what you enjoy. Explore what you generate IN fun.

ANON: Yeah. Okay.

ELIAS: Allow yourself to explore how you even define fun. And engage it.

ANON: How I define fun?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I think fun is creativity.

ELIAS: I would express the suggestion that you allow yourself to actively evaluate and explore precisely what actions you can engage that allow you to express fun.

ANON: Okay.

ELIAS: (Laughs) This may be a significant exercise.

ANON: Okay. Thanks.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

ANON: Am I still going to see vistas?

ELIAS: I would express, yes.

ANON: All right. Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting.

ANON: Okay. Thanks, bye.

ELIAS: And I shall be offering my energy to you, in great encouragement.

To you, as always, in tremendous appreciation and in dear lovingness, my friend. Au revoir.

ANON: All right.


(Elias departs after 40 minutes)

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Copyright 2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.