Dealing with Cervical Cancer
Topics:
Session 200704262 (#2256)
“Dealing with Cervical Cancer”
“Seeing Energy Fields”
“Drawing an Individual into a Dream”
“Projecting into the Future”
Thursday, April 26, 2007 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Victoria E. (Marlies)
ELIAS: Good morning!
VICTORIA: Hi, Elias. How are you?
ELIAS: (Laughs) As always. And yourself?
VICTORIA: Oh, I’m doing well. I could say I’m doing pretty well, considering what’s going on in my life right now, which is going to be a big topic for us today. It’s been about a year since I’ve talked with you, and I’m going through health problems and I just wanted to kind of touch upon that, basically, and some other things as well. But I’m going to kind of… I have a list of questions, but I’m not really stuck on them. I would love really to hear mostly from you what you can offer me today, and I’m really open to advice. I know you don’t like to give it, but maybe this will be a good time [inaudible] (laughs) if you would be willing. (Elias chuckles) I just basically want to kind of get some affirmations.
You know I’ve been diagnosed with cervical cancer, and I remember the last session we had, we kind of left it with we were talking about my physical problems in relationship to what I deal with psychologically in my life. And I remember we were talking about taking small steps. And I remember thinking after that conversation, I’d been having problems with my right leg and then it occurred to me, Ah, small steps. My strong side, the dominant side, is weak, and that really kind of gelled for me, the understanding of trusting myself. And it seems that a lot of this illness that I’m dealing with is teaching me a lot about learning to trust myself. Would you agree with that assessment?
ELIAS: Yes, and what are you observing in yourself that you are trusting more?
VICTORIA: Well, my own instincts of what I should do, my own decisions, my own choices, making my own choices really from a really strong place. From the beginning, when I was just diagnosed with this cancer I was with my friend and we were driving home, and at first I kind of took the scenario of the cancer and the possibility of disengagement and thinking, “Hm, maybe it’s not such a bad idea. Maybe I can go that route. Maybe fifty years is enough. Maybe that’s okay.” I make it sound as if I’m being light about it, but I wasn’t at the time. And of course, my friend and I, we were feeling… I mean, as I’m speaking this, talking this talk, I felt the dark hole. And then when we went home to her house we started talking about alternative treatments, because I knew I would never go the conventional method. And then something switched in me. I really turned my focus, my direction away from that scenario, and from that point on I was so certain about wanting to go this alternative route that I’ve never looked back. And I’ve always felt very confident in my choice, but of course there’s times of fear and doubt coming in, but I never get stuck on that. I feel that it’s changed me a lot, and—
ELIAS: In what capacity?
VICTORIA: Because for the first time in my life I really feel that I trust myself. I don’t know, just also dealing with what other people want me to do and not necessarily… I don’t really argue with them too much. I listen to them, but I kind of stick to my conviction and I silently go on my way, understanding that it’s coming from their fears, too, and they view this as unusual. Most people just kind of go with what they’re told, and I just can’t do that.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
VICTORIA: And I guess what I want to get from you is, I’ve made a lot of decisions on a pragmatic level about remedies, and compared to what I was, let's say, nearly four months ago, my state of health has improved a lot, but I’m still dealing with the cancer. I haven’t really gone to a specialist. And I’m just kind of wondering from your perspective what you see happening with me. Is there movement, you know, the stuck energy? And I understand when I sit with myself and I mostly meditate on the healing process and trying to unblock the energy that’s been so stuck in me that I can feel it in my body, and I’ve become sort of sensitive to it. Is there movement? Am I making the right choices with my method of healing? Do you see that I’m moving in the right direction? Do you have any recommendations or any place you can steer me towards? You know, that kind of thing. Basically, if you could give me what your ideas are on that. So, I’ll leave it up to you now, and I’ll hand the floor to you.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I would express a validation that you are generating some affectingness, and I would also offer an encouragement in what you are doing, for you are allowing yourself to be much more directing of yourself and incorporating more confidence in that.
I would also express to you a suggestion. For in situations such as this, and many other types of situations, individuals tend to move in the direction of what WILL be. That is a familiar approach to certain types of situations, especially situations that may be somewhat ongoing and involve a process of actions. And in that, the individual generally thinks that they are moving in a positive or a productive direction, when in actuality they may be creating some obstacles for themself.
In this, what I would present to you as a suggestion is that you have already set what your intention is in what you want. Now, move your attention to creating that experience in the present and generating an energy of “This is now,” not “This will be different futurely.” For although that may be what you term to be a positive statement-- “This will be altered”—it also creates an energy in which you are placing what you want in the future. And therefore, it becomes held in the future rather than allowing that to become inserted in the present.
And although you recognize that you continue to incorporate this manifestation now, you can begin now with experiencing yourself as altering that physical manifestation.
Also, remember: all that you do and all that you incorporate is interconnected. Therefore, what affects in one direction also affects in other directions. Therefore, if you are genuinely allowing yourself to experience perhaps what you may term to be wholeness in other expressions, that will allow you to alter the energy that you are expressing now, and that will also be affecting in generating a wholeness within your body consciousness. In this, that experience of wholeness can be generated in relation to your friendships, your self, your awareness, your trust, and even in your environment, recognizing what you have created in your environment and the wholeness of that and how it flows together. These expressions, allowing yourself to experience them, not merely think of them, allows you to be generating an energy that in your terms corrects what you do not want.
It is also significant that you be aware of what you are concentrating upon and what you are generating in relation to importance. Not creating an opposing energy, not generating importance in relation to what you do NOT want or you do NOT like, but rather generating the importance of what you DO want. This can be somewhat tricky, for you are addressing to dis-ease. Therefore, it is very easy to move in the direction that you do not want the dis-ease. You want the dis-ease to be altered. You want that to be corrected. But the trickiness in this is that all of these expressions continue to concentrate upon the dis-ease rather than generating the concentration upon the perfection of the wholeness and the allowance of yourself to experience yourself without the dis-ease. And as it is present, that can be somewhat challenging, for I am aware that it is difficult to not pay attention to a dis-ease if you have created one.
And it is not quite a matter of not paying attention to it, but lessening your attention and changing how you are paying attention, in a manner of allowing yourself to relax and accept that you have created this and therefore not oppose it, but also allow yourself to engage new choices.
VICTORIA: So, when you say new choices, just to really break it down, what you’re explaining to me, because there’s a part of me that’s saying to myself, “Well, I thought I was kind of doing that,” but what you would say is not enough? Or I’m just off track of that?
ELIAS: No.
VICTORIA: I mean, my thought was “Okay, so here I have this disease. Don’t think about the disease. Don’t focus on your disease. Focus on the healing process.” But that still is not… That’s still kind of drawing me in with the dynamic of the disease, I guess?
ELIAS: Somewhat. Yes. THAT is more what I am expressing. Not that you are, as you have expressed, off track; you are not, but that you can refine that more.
VICTORIA: I see.
ELIAS: In that, rather than concentrating as strongly upon HEALING, move your attention more in the direction of experiencing yourself BEING healed.
VICTORIA: Yeah. I feel sometimes I do. Like when I’m able to, I have the energy and I go out and I visit a friend and we take a walk or I go to a yoga class, let’s say. The times where I feel healed, I feel like my old self. I feel energy. (Laughs) Which is a big… I mean—
ELIAS: THAT—
VICTORIA: [Inaudible] more like dealing with feeling very tired often, and I do have this ongoing pain, which perhaps we can talk about as well, but I mean the pain is always drawing my attention to it. And I understand the pain is because of resistance and my focus is on “Relax. Let go. Release. Don’t worry. Let them take care of you. Let your family, let your friends, let them take care of you, Victoria. Don’t worry. Just let them take care of you and just be well.” And I mean, maybe just to say it to myself and to really act on it is two different things. You know, I feel like it takes practice, just like anything, and—
ELIAS: Yes, I am understanding. I am understanding, and this is what I am expressing to you. It is a situation of practicing allowing yourself to experience that.
And let me also express to you, even in time frameworks in which you perhaps are not actually experiencing these moments of being whole or sound in the moment, you can engage pretending. In actuality, this can be a very useful avenue and very beneficial. You can engage your imagination, and in that, you can pretend that you are well. That also changes your energy, and it moves it way from the concentration upon the dis-ease.
In this, I may also express to you, you can engage a game with yourself in relation to the pain. And in this game – although I understand that it can be challenging – but in this game, you can attempt to move the pain to a different location. In a manner of speaking, you can play with your energy and how you are manipulating it, and envision your own energy as a spoon that is spooning up that pain and pouring it into a different area. Which in actuality may initially appear to you in thinking that this type of action would be somewhat ludicrous, but in actuality it is helpful to break your concentration upon the feeling of the pain.
And in that, when you move it, it feels different, and that also interrupts your concentration upon it. It also reinforces your recognition of your abilities and what you can do and the strength that you incorporate. It is not necessary to push yourself or to force yourself. I am greatly acknowledging of you in your choice to be allowing of yourself and to be, in your terms, letting go. This is very significant, for when you stop holding to certain expressions, you actually allow yourself much more freedom and you allow your energy to flow much more easily, and that can be very helpful in accomplishing what you want in relation to dissipating this dis-ease.
Hold to these experiences when you actually are feeling yourself and experiencing yourself as being well. For the more you engage those experiences, the more you affect the dissipation of the dis-ease.
VICTORIA: It’s like moving into a different self, by simply focus… I mean, I understand focusing my attention on wellness. So, whenever I feel slightly more energetic, or… just hold onto that experience and build on that.
ELIAS: Yes.
VICTORIA: I just wanted to ask you, do you feel from my energy as you read it, do you feel that there’s still a lot of blockages? Or am I opening up now? And I feel like I’m a different person than I was before I knew about this disease. I feel like I’ve kind of moved into a gentler, more open part of myself. My relations with people are kind of changing in ways. I notice I’m finding more confidence and just drawing people into my life. The two words that come to mind the most that somehow… are trusting for sure, and also connection with people. I think this disease is teaching me so much about learning to connect, which is something we’ve talked about in the past. And it seems like I’m kind of using this experience to learn to connect, to allow myself, you know. Do you find that I’m creating movement in that direction?
ELIAS: Quite so. Yes. I would definitely agree. Which also provides you with another valuable factor in that you can actually, in some respects, appreciate the creation of this dis-ease, for it has allowed you an avenue in which you can accomplish many other expressions that are valuable to you and that you wanted that you incorporated difficulty with previously, and allowing yourself to become much more open.
Can you view your energy field?
VICTORIA: I can when I get into a very relaxed state when I’m in a restorative posture and I’m closing my eyes, and I see pulsing colors.
ELIAS: Can you—
VICTORIA: I seem to pick up lots of colors. Sometimes they’re just flashes, and sometimes they last longer.
ELIAS: What I am inquiring is, can you visually see your energy field?
VICTORIA: If I look down at my… like keep my eyes open, like right now as we speak?
ELIAS: Yes.
VICTORIA: No.
ELIAS: Very well. I will offer you a very simple exercise which you can begin to practice with and actually be visually seeing your actual energy field. And in this, that may be another avenue in which you can be affecting. But also, do not force. Allow yourself to be patient and practice. Actually, visually seeing your energy field—or any energy field—is quite easy; it is merely a matter of practice.
In this, in this now, hold your hands in front of you.
VICTORIA: Okay.
ELIAS: Hold your hands in front of you, facing you.
Now; do not look directly at your hand, but look to the edge of your hand and relax your vision. Within a short time framework you shall begin to view either a white or a silver halo extending from your hand. It may appear very thin initially, and it may incorporate several minutes before you actually see it, but as you continue to relax your eyes and to gaze at the edge of your hand, this silver or white glow will begin to appear.
Once you are beginning to view that glow that surrounds your hand, you can actually look directly at it. As you practice with this, you can move your two index fingers towards each other, almost touching but not quite, and you will begin to view this white or silver glow between them. And you can move your fingers very slowly apart, and you will see that strand stretch between them. It may even become somewhat wavy.
As you practice viewing the actual energy field that surrounds your body, you will notice that it will become more expansive. It will not be that thin strand that surrounds your form; it will become more expansive, perhaps three to four inches wide. And as you continue to practice, you will begin to actually see colors moving. The white or the silver will be replaced with actual colors. Initially they may appear somewhat pale, but they will become more vivid as you practice, and they will continuously be in motion.
As you practice with this exercise and you become more familiar with it and you become more proficient with it, you can focus your vision upon the area of the dis-ease. It will appear in your energy field. In that area surrounding your physical body, you will notice that your energy field will indent somewhat and the colors in that area will be darker.
In this, you can incorporate another exercise in disassociating the dis-ease from your body and viewing it in your energy field. This offers you another method to be affecting of it, for you can actually remove parts of it from your energy field, for you can incorporate your extremities with your energy field just as you do within any of your actions. Therefore, you can use your hand, and you can place your hand close to that area of your energy field and watch how the energy from your hand extends outward and connects with the energy of THAT area of your body. And you can contact that area and move your hand slowly away and draw out that indentation, and draw out some of the darker colors. And in that, you can be generating an actual, physical manipulation of energy that you can actually see.
And with this exercise, the fun in this is that you can practice with many different manifestations, not merely yourself. Which, it can be fun to practice with yourself also, but you can practice in viewing the energy field surrounding plants. You can practice viewing the energy field around other individuals, around creatures.
Now; I will express to you that there is a difference in the energy fields of creatures and plants from humans. Generally speaking, plants incorporate a very even energy field, and it is generally white or silver. Occasionally, but not frequently, it may incorporate a soft yellow color, but for the most part plants generally incorporate a white or silver energy field. Creatures generally generate a pink energy field that appears to be also quite even and consistent. But the similarity with creatures is that if they are creating some dis-ease or dysfunction, their energy field will also indent in that area and will also appear darker, which is similar to humans.
The significant difference with humans is that you generate many colors within your energy field and they fluctuate. Dependent upon what type of energy you are projecting or engaging and what you are doing, the colors fluctuate in your energy field. But it may be fun for you to incorporate practicing viewing energy fields with many different manifestations, and I will express that in actuality, every object incorporates an energy field, but they may be more difficult to see, for they—
VICTORIA: That's odd, because actually that’s the one time I think I do, is oftentimes when I'm in a relaxed state kind of meditating, I see that silver energy field around objects.
ELIAS: (Laughs heartily) Well! I may express a tremendous encouragement to you, for if you can easily see the energy field around objects – and they generally do not incorporate color; that will be a neutral white or silver energy field—
VICTORIA: Yeah. That’s what I see. Why is it easy for me to see that and not with animals or people?
ELIAS: For you are not viewing them the same. When you do that, you are relaxing your vision and almost engaging the action of staring—not quite, but almost. And in that, you are allowing yourself to relax and to relax your vision. Which, this is what I expressed. Viewing energy fields is very easy. It is merely a matter of allowing yourself and relaxing your vision and knowing what to look for and how to begin and how to practice. It is more difficult to look at an energy field of an individual or a creature if you are looking directly at the individual or the creature, for your vision generates automatic associations, and therefore it will automatically focus specifically upon certain areas of the individual or the creature. Whereas, with objects you may not necessarily focus as strongly upon the object itself.
When you are engaging an individual, you are concentrating upon their presence and what you are engaging, such as conversation. And your vision is focusing upon certain elements of the individual: their eyes, or their mouth, or perhaps their teeth, or their hair, or their clothing. You are generating a connection with the physical individual, and you do the same, generally speaking, with creatures. But if you are allowing yourself to relax, not gaze directly at the individual or the creature but slightly upon the edge of them, and begin in one section, so to speak, for once that silver or white glow appears, it will immediately surround them.
VICTORIA: Well, that’s [inaudible]. I will definitely practice that. That’s a good one.
ELIAS: You can even practice this with other individuals and watch how the energies of each of you intersect.
VICTORIA: Like how the colors mix and match?
ELIAS: And how they draw towards each other and penetrate each other.
VICTORIA: Wow.
Well, we only have about a little over ten minutes, and there’s some other things I wanted to ask you. I’m just going to run something by you.
ELIAS: Very well.
VICTORIA: I was offered a book by this woman who I did a session with. She works with energy and we seem to connect, this woman, Claire. She gave me this book by a man called – I don’t know if I’m pronouncing it right – Hazrat Inayat Khan? Do I have a connection with this individual in some manner? Did I perhaps know him or work with him musically maybe, in the time of his life?
ELIAS: You incorporate several focuses with this individual, and you also incorporate a counterpart action with this individual. Therefore, I would express I would imagine that you also recognize some familiarity.
VICTORIA: Did I play music with him?
ELIAS: Briefly.
VICTORIA: Ah. Because his teachings somewhat remind me of a lot of what you talk about.
I also wanted to know about Rumi. One time I extrapolated a few paragraphs out of some of his writings and I put it to music, and then I… It occurred to me that maybe I had some kind of connection to him as well, that perhaps I was a follower or a student of his or I knew of him during his time. Is that possible?
ELIAS: A student.
VICTORIA: (Pause) Elias, are you there?
ELIAS: Yes. I expressed: a student.
VICTORIA: Ah. So, I was a student of Rumi?
ELIAS: Yes.
VICTORIA: And I’m just curious about a few things. I had a dream almost nearly a year ago. It was kind of a funny dream in a way. I was dreaming that I was levitating and there were many people observing me, as I often do in my dreams, and I think I’ve described this to you, kind of teaching them how to levitate in dreams and how to become lucid. And I was doing this, and at one point when I was levitating pretty far above the ground above them, somewhere on the same level I ran into another individual who was also obviously in a dream body, levitating. And I bumped into him, and I even remember he was wearing like this blue, powder blue knitted sweater, and I immediately said to him, “Oh my god! A kindred individual! Do you realize we’re in a dream together and you’re levitating? Look at you. You’re levitating.” And the look on his face was one of like, “Oh my god! Who are you? Get away from me,” and like I shocked him or I was coming on too strong. And then somehow I managed to get a name out of him, and he told me his name, Richard Zane, or I don’t know how I got that name, really. And I just wonder what kind of connection. I went online to look to see about Richard Zane, if there were Richard Zanes [inaudible] I did find two. But I’m just kind of curious about that, if you would have anything to tell me about Richard Zane?
ELIAS: In actuality, what you did was quite literal in how you expressed this, that you bumped into this individual. Let me express to you, individuals can connect with other individuals within dreams, and you can actually insert yourself or draw another individual’s imagery from THEIR dream into YOUR dream.
VICTORIA: That’s what I did with him? I drew him into mine?
ELIAS: Yes.
VICTORIA: Well, it sure gave him a shock. (Elias laughs) I don’t think he liked it. (Elias laughs)
Also, I wanted to ask you, it’s not specifically a dream, but about certain kinds of dreams that I have where I find myself in maybe like a city or a town. The props, meaning the streets and the buildings, are really unusual-looking to me. They’re something similar to what we see today but different, and it’s kind of disorienting to me. And often I’m dropping in people’s homes uninvited and I suddenly feel really self-conscious like, “What did I just do? I mean, why did I just walk into this person’s house?” And it almost feels like I should leave because I was never invited, you know. I almost got the feeling one day that maybe this was a scenario where I’m visiting perhaps future focuses or future scenarios and that’s why that unfamiliarity of the props and also just kind of coming in uninvited. Like I almost feel these people are looking at me like, “Who are YOU?” and “Where did YOU come from?” and “You don’t belong here.” (Elias laughs) So, is that a correct assessment?
ELIAS: Yes. You are quite correct. And you are visiting. (Laughs)
VICTORIA: Yeah. And I almost have this feeling of like, “I wasn’t invited here. I’m not ready for this. Maybe I should leave.”
ELIAS: (Laughs) In actuality, the individuals that you encounter when you do this are not as surprised as you think they are.
VICTORIA: So it’s just me projecting my surprise and going, “Oh! How did I get here? Oh geez!”
ELIAS: (Laughs) Yes. That would be more accurate.
VICTORIA: So, all right, we only have about six minutes. Just going back to what we were talking about before, about my health and my path on it, and like right now as I speak I feel pretty good. You know, I feel pretty energetic. So, I just… What I guess I need to hear from you, I just want to know, am I on the path of healing? I know it’s a very simplistic question and you probably can’t answer it so simply, but I just kind of want to know from you, have I been making the right decisions? Am I on the path? Besides talking about refining them as you said, my decision was to go with my alternative therapy. Is that a…? Am I on the path? Because I really do want to become well again. And I know I have to think in the now. I am well now. (Elias laughs) Just, I guess, to hear from you that I am taking the right path, or… I don’t know. Really what I’m trying to get from you, I guess, is just some kind of like pat on the back, “Yes, Victoria,” but in all honesty, honestly what do you feel that you can tell me in five minutes?
ELIAS: (Laughs) I can express to you in less than five of your minutes, yes. Be encouraged. Yes, you are engaging your path and you are doing what is beneficial for you. I may not express that to another individual, and I may engage an entirely different direction with another individual, but I am addressing to you, and I am very encouraging of you. And yes, you are generating affectingness, and you are moving in the direction that you can accomplish in.
VICTORIA: Also, just in the last few minutes here, I remember we talked the last time about me stepping into a different probable reality and I’m just wondering, is this what I meant? Because this is not really what I wanted, but I… And then you acknowledged, you said, “Yes, I do see that you are moving into that direction.” Is this what that was? Because in a sense I look at this experience as before-Victoria/after-Victoria, kind of deconstructing who I was and starting almost reconstructing who I am. It’s almost kind of like this wiping the slate clean, and even my body has changed enormously in kind of starting me over again. It feels kind of like that to me. Like when I look back on who I was before the diagnosis and who I am now, it feels like a million miles, a million years ago.
ELIAS: I am understanding. I would not express to you that at that time you were preparing to incorporate this type of manifestation—you were not. But I would express that the movement that you have been generating IS what we were discussing previously. You had not chosen yet in that time framework how you would initiate it, but I would express that you have offered yourself a significant avenue to allow yourself considerable information in a short time framework. (Pause) I am tremendously acknowledging of you.
VICTORIA: We still have thirty seconds. What can you tell me… I read this—you actually offered this information to another person in their transcripts and they asked you, “What do you appreciate about me?” And in just a few seconds, what do you most appreciate about me?
ELIAS: What do I appreciate in relation to you? Your determination and your willingness to genuinely explore, even if the exploration moves you into uncertain or uncomfortable situations. That is quite an admirable quality. And your perseverance in your determination is a tremendous strength. That would be what I view in appreciation in relation to you.
VICTORIA: Ah. I can tell you so much about what I appreciate with you. (Elias laughs) But you already know. (Elias laughs) I guess I have to get off the phone. I have a feeling I’ll be speaking to you soon again.
ELIAS: Very well.
VICTORIA: Thank you so much for your help this session. I will definitely put to practice that energy field little exercise, and hopefully I’ll have some good news to report back to you—
ELIAS: Very well.
VICTORIA: — when I accomplish it.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well, my friend. And I shall be continuing to offer my energy to you continuously in supportiveness and in encouragement.
VICTORIA: Please do. Please surprise me with your energy. Give me little signs of your presence.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well.
VICTORIA: Well, I guess until next time.
ELIAS: Very well, my friend. In tremendous appreciation and as always, in great lovingness and dear friendship, au revoir.
VICTORIA: Bye.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 3 minutes)
Copyright 2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.