Tuesday, April 10, 2007 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Kevin (Conrad)

ELIAS: Good day!

KEVIN: Hello?

ELIAS: (Laughs) And how shall we proceed?

KEVIN: Hi, Elias!

ELIAS: Welcome.

KEVIN: It’s good to talk to you again.

ELIAS: And you also.

KEVIN: So, kind of a few things I want to talk to you about today. I guess we’ll just start right in with the first one.

I’ve been experiencing some anxiety since about January, kind of off and on a bit, but there also seems to be like this constant underlying anxiety, and along with it some physical expressions, physical affectingness, centered around my stomach area. I was wondering… I feel like this has to do with control issues. I also feel it has something to do with my physical expression as far as weight goes. But I wondered if you could give me some specific insights into this, perhaps?

ELIAS: And what is your association with weight?

KEVIN: Ah, well the fact that I want to lose weight, the fact that I’m not exactly comfortable with my physical expression at this point. I have actually lost some weight, about thirty pounds since Christmas. And this actually, the first anxiety attack that I had was the day before I was supposed to start a new diet, which is part of the reason that I associate it with the weight issue and physical expression issues. But I’m also aware that we don’t generally do things for a singular reason, and like I said, I think it has something to do with control as well.

ELIAS: Very well. Let us engage an experiment.

KEVIN: All right.

ELIAS: Close your eyes.

KEVIN: Mm-hm.

ELIAS: Allow yourself to breathe in slowly, breathe out, breathe in again, breathe out. Open your eyes quickly.

What did you experience?

KEVIN: Nothing definable.

ELIAS: Was your vision clear, or was it somewhat fuzzy initially?

KEVIN: It seemed clear.

ELIAS: Did you experience any slight disorientation?

KEVIN: Slightly. Yeah.

ELIAS: Very well. Did you open your eyes quickly, as I instructed?

KEVIN: I believe I did.

ELIAS: Very well. Very well.

Let me express to you, at times an individual may generate an experience within their focus that is disconcerting or creates a significant discomfort, and the individual will generate a particular association with the experience.

Now; subsequent to the experience, the individual will attempt to push that experience away. And in that, figuratively speaking, what you do is you place it in a figurative closet and you do not allow yourself to think of it. You continue with your routine and you move forward and you continue with life, so to speak, and although there may be occasional moments in which you generate a memory, you quickly stop that thinking.

Now; this is what I have identified with other individuals as a shrine.

KEVIN: Okay. I’ve heard about shrines.

ELIAS: What occurs with shrines is that the individual begins to generate patterns and experiences that trigger that same association that they generated in some experience that occurred pastly. This is not psychology. This is an action that many individuals actually generate.

In this, they begin through time to generate what they view as unusual responses that are unwarranted or unfounded. They become agitated in excess and do not view any viable reason that would warrant this type of a response. But it is not necessarily entirely what you are generating now that triggers this association—and these associations can be triggered very easily.

KEVIN: Okay.

ELIAS: They can be triggered by a thought. They can be triggered by a smell. They can be triggered by a word or an encounter with another individual and a tone. They can be triggered by an action as simple as receiving a card, or they can be triggered even by such a simple action as entering a room in a particular manner that automatically generates that association.

And what occurs is that the individual will immediately be transported, in a manner of speaking, to that previous experience. You will not think of it, but you will feel it. You will experience in the same manner.

KEVIN: So, what you’re offering here basically is that from looking at my first experience of this, in my view which is in January, that chances are good that this is actually associated with something that’s been with me for quite some time?

ELIAS: Yes. Which, I would agree that it would be associated with body consciousness and appearance, and that also includes an involvement with control.

KEVIN: Okay.

ELIAS: For it is an element of an association of a lack of control of what your body consciousness does or how it appears.

KEVIN: Okay.

ELIAS: In this, with that association of a lack of control, there can be many different types of triggers that can create that same association. And in that, you begin to feel out of control—

KEVIN: Right.

ELIAS: — and that creates the anxiety. This is significant, for these types of actions associated with shrines can be very powerful and very confusing, and they can be very disempowering. For each time you generate one of those automatic associations in which you are actually not present with yourself in the moment, that anxiety is being produced by old associations. And in that, what actually occurs is that you are actually not present any longer. You are actually generating the same feelings, the same perception as you did in a previous experience. And in that, it creates difficulty in stopping the action.

KEVIN: Right.

ELIAS: For it becomes overwhelming and it becomes very powerful, and it appears to you that regardless of what you do, it will not stop. Which perpetuates the experience itself, for now you are once again being in that situation of being out of control, --

KEVIN: Right.

ELIAS: --that you are powerless to alter this within yourself. Your body consciousness is now dictating to you, rather than you dictating to it. In actuality that is not what is occurring, but that is the association that you generate.

KEVIN: Right. That’s what it seems like.

ELIAS: Yes. In this, I would express to you a manner in which you can be affecting of that experience, that anxiety, is first of all to generate the action that you engaged with myself. When you begin to feel that anxiety, close your eyes, breathe in and out several times slowly, open your eyes quickly and fix them on one object.

KEVIN: Okay.

ELIAS: This will break your concentration in the anxiety—

KEVIN: Okay.

ELIAS: — and allow you to become more calm. Once you have fixed your attention upon an object for approximately a minute, allow yourself to engage some type of distraction. Remove yourself from the actual, physical environment that you are in, temporarily.

KEVIN: Yeah, that’s one thing that I have been doing, because a lot of times it comes to me when I lay down to sleep at night. And it’s interesting, because I have noticed that if I lay down for a nap in the afternoon, generally speaking it doesn’t happen or it’s not as bad. But at night when I lay down to go to sleep is when it comes on strongest. And the anxiety also seems to be associated… I mean, I generate along with it, it feels like my heart’s being squeezed.

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: And like it’s skipping a beat.

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: And that kind of intensifies the anxiety. But yeah, one thing that I definitely do, I mean I get up sometimes. One night I got up and I went and played darts for a while, just to kind of let go of it and focus on something else. But at the same time, I’m kind of… I want to get at the association as well.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

KEVIN: If you get my meaning.

ELIAS: Yes. I am understanding. In this, let me also express to you, as I have expressed previously, what becomes important to you, you move your attention to more strongly.

KEVIN: Right.

ELIAS: When you can lessen the importance of some expressions, you can allow yourself to relax, and you will accomplish what you want much more effectively. When you generate an association with your body consciousness and you dislike what you are expressing, you dislike your appearance, that becomes important.

KEVIN: Right.

ELIAS: The dislike of it becomes more important than the alteration of it, and what occurs is you begin to generate more struggle with yourself than is necessary.

Now; this is not to say that you should or must move in the direction of expressing, “Oh, I DO like my form. I DO like my appearance. I genuinely appreciate that.” No.

KEVIN: Right, because that would be denying my preferences then.

ELIAS: Correct, and it also would be camouflaging and attempting to fool yourself.

KEVIN: Right.

ELIAS: It is not a matter that you must change the like or the dislike, but not to feed the dislike energy by concentrating upon it. In this, it is a matter of altering your perception. And the manner in which you do that is you begin to allow yourself to experience yourself with a different perception, with a different body consciousness.

In this, in a manner of speaking, it could be likened to daydreaming.

KEVIN: Visualizing myself in the form that I want?

ELIAS: Playfully. Allowing yourself to pretend, just as you would in a daydream, allowing yourself to experience yourself in the form that you want. You are familiar with playing. You are familiar with acting, correct?

KEVIN: Correct.

ELIAS: In this, it is a very similar action. If you understand how to act and be another character, you can do the same with yourself. And as you practice in that, you gain that sense of control, which is actually directedness, and you reinforce empowering yourself that you actually CAN accomplish, rather than continuing to add jewels to your shrine in generating automatic associations and anxiety.

KEVIN: Right. Now, I am correct then in the fact that… I mean, because it’s been different, the way it’s come. I mean, the very first time I felt it, there was no real physical discomfort. It was just this… I did have some dizziness, but most of it was just the anxiety itself, the feeling of adrenalin rush and almost like excitement, only it felt more negative (laughs) to me than excitement generally does. It was a scary feeling.

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: But since then, I’ve had other episodes of it where I actually feel discomfort in my stomach, and like I said, my heart feels like it’s being squeezed. So, there’s actually physical symptoms, more than just the anxiety. And it seems to actually bring the anxiety on.

ELIAS: Yes. I am understanding.

KEVIN: So, this is all part of the same…?

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: Okay.

ELIAS: And I would also express a suggestion to you, to genuinely practice with relaxation. In this, I am not expressing a relaxation such as a meditation. I would suggest that you allow yourself, perhaps for a temporary time framework once within your day, to immerse yourself in a tub, which will be helpful in the relaxation of your muscles. And in that, as you relax within the tub, allow yourself to quiet your thinking. Allow yourself to move your attention merely to your physical senses and your physical sensations that are occurring in relation to the water. That will allow you to quiet your thinking. In that, you will merely be thinking of what you are experiencing in sensations and in physical senses’ input.

Once you incorporate a brief time framework, a few of your minutes, engaging that action, and you can actually experience yourself genuinely relaxing, I would suggest that you engage allowing yourself a visualization.

But with the visualization, merely initiate it. Once it is initiated, allow it to form itself. As an example, you may be visualizing a night sky, but once you initiate—

KEVIN: Once I start it, let it kind of go.

ELIAS: Yes. And allow that to form in whatever manner it will. That will also encourage you to be thinking less.

KEVIN: Understood. I’ve got another question about this—

ELIAS: For the thinking—

KEVIN: My wife is actually reflecting some of this back to me. She’s been having some experiences of her own that she kind of likens to mine. There are some differences, obviously, but she has had her own feelings of anxiety or dread. Less towards the dread, actually; hers is more like an excitement, like something is coming, an anticipatory feeling. Sometimes the negative, but mostly it’s just kind of neutral for her. And I was wondering if this is in any way associated with what I’m going through, and if she’s generating something similar?

ELIAS: Partially. Partially, you are reflecting. And in that, you share energy. Therefore, what one is doing can be reinforcing of the other to be creating in somewhat of a similar manner.

Now; her expression is not associated with the same subject, but yes, I would express that there is some shared energy in this.

KEVIN: Okay.

ELIAS: And I would—

KEVIN: Is hers specifically about… for her?

ELIAS: I would suggest that you ask her. (Chuckles)

KEVIN: Oh, well I have, and she’s not sure. That’s why she wanted me to ask you.

ELIAS: Ah! (Laughs) I would express that partially her expression reflects yours in IMAGE, not necessarily as much appearance but more in image: how she is perceived.

KEVIN: Ah. So not as much as… She’s not as worried about how she perceives herself, which is more my angle, I guess, but more about how others perceive her?

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: Okay. All right. I’ll chew on that, talk to her about it a little bit.

Another question I had, and I think this is kind of related to some of the anxiety as well somehow. I’m not really positive as to how. One of the things we spoke about in my first session was the intensity of energy that I have and the intensity of energy that I tend to draw to myself from other focuses.

A quick question, by the way: number of focuses this dimension? I had an impression at one point that it was 1445. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: Really?

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: Hm. Has that altered since I had that impression?

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: More?

ELIAS: Yes. Increase 93.

KEVIN: Wow. So, I really like this physical dimension.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Or you are generating considerable explorations. (Laughs)

KEVIN: Am I a final focus?

ELIAS: No.

KEVIN: No. Continuing?

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: Okay. Interesting. One of the things that I wanted to ask about specifically was in that intensity of energy, I’ve always had, since I was very young, this feeling of responsibility. And it gets reflected to me from many others. Many people I get to know at some point start talking about how special I am. And I wondered about that, especially in regards to my intent, reconciliation. That intent seems to have a lot to do with this shift.

ELIAS: Yes. I would agree.

KEVIN: And I wondered with the… One of the things that you said in my first session as well is that I - and you specifically said “unlike many others” – have a tendency to discount myself so readily and so quickly, and it’s so well camouflaged that I don’t even notice it. And I think that I’ve done a lot in noticing more how I discount myself in how many ways.

But I was kind of curious as to the… I mean, this seems to be like some kind of martyr complex almost, and I realize that’s Psychology 101, but (Elias laughs) basically it generates in me… I almost have a fear of being put on a pedestal, number one. At the same time, I feel like I have a lot of potential that I allow myself. This isn’t to say that everyone doesn’t have the potential, but it seems like I have a pool of probabilities in which I could generate a lot more than some people allow themselves. And the fact that I discount myself, unlike many others do, is kind of a… I want to say an offset to that.

ELIAS: I would agree. And I would express to you in this, I am quite understanding why you generate this association of almost a fear of being elevated, for that is quite understandable. For you incorporate the knowing within you of your abilities and your potentials, but you also generate an association that perhaps you should not allow yourself to express that and you should not be receiving, for that automatically elevates you. In actuality, it does not.

KEVIN: Right. Right. Right.

ELIAS: In actuality—

KEVIN: I had the feeling that this has to do with issues about equality.

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: And that… I mean, one of the things I’m trying to allow myself more now is the realization that just because I allow myself more potential than the average person, so to speak, that it is a matter of form, not content, so to speak. That we’re all of the same substance, we just choose to express that in different ways.

ELIAS: Correct. And you choose to express different potentials in association with your preferences. One individual may choose to be extremely successful and generate great wealth and perhaps notoriety or fame. Another individual may choose to be continuing to generate a home and not engage great wealth or fame or notoriety. But it matters not, for that may be associated with that individual’s intent, and they may be very satisfied and comfortable and content with what they are generating. And another individual may be satisfied and content with generating great wealth and fame.

KEVIN: Right.

ELIAS: It is not that every individual does not incorporate the same potentials.

KEVIN: It’s probabilities.

ELIAS: It is a matter of the individual’s personality, their intent, their preferences, what they want, and what generates that contentment and that comfort and that satisfaction within their individual life.

KEVIN: So… But you would agree basically that I’ve allowed myself a huge pool of probabilities in regards to this shift?

ELIAS: Yes, I would. And you incorporate the abilities to generate success in many different directions. It is merely a matter of allowing yourself, rather than struggling with yourself.

KEVIN: Right.

ELIAS: Rather than fighting with yourself, allow yourself to merely DO. Not to contemplate, not to be caught in thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking (Kevin laughs), but merely DO.

KEVIN: Yeah. Well, fear of my own power has been an issue for a long time.

ELIAS: I may assure you, my friend, were you to allow yourself to genuinely express and experience that, you would discover that there is no reason to be afraid, for you do not incorporate the type of personality that would wield that in a manner to be discounting of other individuals.

KEVIN: Well, I thank you for that, Elias. (Elias chuckles) Well, so I’d better let you go so Mary can come back.

ELIAS: Very well. I offer to you tremendous encouragement and a reminder that I am always present. (Chuckles)

KEVIN: Oh, I know. I talk to you a lot.

ELIAS: (Laughs) I am aware. (Laughs)

KEVIN: So, I’ll be talking to you again real soon.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend. I express tremendous appreciation to you—

KEVIN: I appreciate you too.

ELIAS: — and dear friendship. Au revoir.

(Elias departs after 37 minutes)

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Copyright 2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.