Session 200703041 (2213)
“Exploring Disenfranchisement and Connecting”
“Apprehension Causing Physical Symptoms In the Process of Self Discovery”
“Importance Influences Energy”
“Expressing Regret is Ludicrous”
“Projecting Yourself Into Another Experience”
“Presenting Yourself with Another Aspect of Yourself”
“An Explanation of an Emily Dickenson Poem”
“Finding Pennies: Imagery for Appreciating Small Expressions”

Sunday, March 4, 2007 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anon

ELIAS: Good morning!

ANON: Hello! (Both laugh)

ELIAS: And what shall we discuss?

ANON: Oh, my magnificent disincarnate, talk to me. Well, I have tons of questions. Let’s start with some short ones.

ELIAS: Very well.

[Questions concerning the participant’s and others’ essence and focus stats are removed]

ANON: Is my orientation common?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay. My tone?

ELIAS: And your impression?

ANON: Tone is something I’m not too familiar with. I think in my head that I hear more than I see. And I don’t know much about music, so identifying the tone is really difficult for me.

ELIAS: Musical tone, D flat.

ANON: D flat. Okay. Essence and focus color. Impressions, (Elias laughs) burgundy and olive green.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: Really! So, the focus is burgundy and the essence color is olive green?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Well! I’m getting better at this. (Elias laughs) Am I thought or political based?

ELIAS: Political.

ANON: Both?

ELIAS: Political.

ANON: Political. All right. How many focuses are observing me now?

ELIAS: Presently, 281.

ANON: 221?

ELIAS: 81.

ANON: Wow! Any I should be communicating with?

ELIAS: (Laughs) You ARE.

ANON: I guess. (Both laugh) How many current focuses does my essence have?

ELIAS: In this present time framework, six.

ANON: Okay. Do I have a Dreamwalker aspect?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Now, I was told a long time ago that I had a mage, Mericulous or Miraculous or something of that nature. Is that actually the Dreamwalker aspect?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: And how is his name spelled?

ELIAS: M-E-Q-U-E-L-N.

ANON: And how do you say that?

ELIAS: Mi-KWEN.

ANON: Mi-KWEN?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: What family is he from?

ELIAS: Sumari.

ANON: Sumari.

In dreams, are trains, old houses, cars and cats, are they dream triggers for me?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Really? And as a symbol, is a cat a symbol of secrets?

ELIAS: At times.

ANON: Now; I’m thinking about past or other focuses, not really past. I know they’re still happening. Was I Jeanne de la Motte de Valois in the French Revolution?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Was this direct or observing?

ELIAS: Directing.

ANON: Directing. And was this a chapter focus?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay. I see the pattern. Was my niece Marie Antoinette?

ELIAS: Observing.

ANON: Aha! Okay. Was I Bertrand Marty?

ELIAS: Also observing.

ANON: Observing. Was this a chapter focus?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Was I Simon Magnus?

ELIAS: No, but an individual close to that individual.

ANON: Okay. And what about John Milton?

ELIAS: A family member.

ANON: Something just hit me about Simon Magnus. Was I Helen, who was his girlfriend? His significant other?

ELIAS: That would be a counterpart action, yes, but you do incorporate a focus as a family member.

ANON: Of Simon Magnus?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I don’t know how to say this name: Athanasius Kircher?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I was? Observing or directing?

ELIAS: Directing.

ANON: Thomas Hobbes?

ELIAS: A friend.

ANON: A friend? Oh good! I didn’t write “Life is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.” I’m so glad. (Elias laughs)

I know that there was a powerful influence of a young boy that was abandoned. He had a very wealthy father who more or less abandoned the boy because his girlfriend didn’t want the child around, so the boy was more or less kicked out. Can you tell me more about this? I can’t figure out his name. I think it was in Europe. I think it was like Austria, Germany, someplace like that, 1800s.

ELIAS: Correct. Would be in the area of Germany. And I would encourage you to continue investigating.

ANON: Is that a chapter focus?

ELIAS: No.

ANON: Okay. From a couple of these focuses I’m getting the idea that there is an intent to explore disenfranchisement and defiance of redemption. I think I’ve deliberately denied myself some power which is mine by right. Am I on the right track or not?

ELIAS: I would agree.

ANON: (Laughs) Okay.

ELIAS: I would express—

ANON: Is this the intent of my life?

ELIAS: I would express that it is an element of your intent, not the entirety of it. It is an aspect of the theme in that exploration of the experiences of disenfranchising but also generating the exploration of what that generates and how to be expressing in manners of connection also.

ANON: In manners of connection?

ELIAS: Yes, for in generating the experiences of disenfranchising, it also offers you information in your exploration of what is somewhat necessary to be connecting, or what is significant in relation to the subject of connecting.

ANON: We’re talking about connecting to other people?

ELIAS: Yes. And how that can be generated in many different manners, not necessarily in association with the established rules, so to speak.

ANON: Hm. This is going to take more thought.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Such as, the example of this one focus that you have presented to yourself with the boy. For in that, you are offering yourself an example of how the individual can be disconnected from individuals in one manner but may be connecting in another manner which may be unconventional.

ANON: (Laughs) Oh my! (Both laugh) You’re going to leave me with interesting things to think about, aren’t you?

You have talked to another person, Darryl, frequently about subjects that seem to be so germane to me, and I thank Darryl for bringing them up because his transcripts are really good. I don’t know, is a Darryl a boy or a girl? But it doesn’t matter. For me too, it’s never been a matter of self-worth. It’s always been, “I’m not supposed to be here.” Just by existing I’m defying “them,” whoever “they” are. Can you talk some more about that?

ELIAS: I am understanding your feeling, which also is associated with your intent, but I would express to you that it is not actually a matter of “supposed to be here” or “not supposed to be here,” for you are. And as you are, you have generated that choice to be participating within this reality, in this particular manifestation in this particular focus.

But, in association with a choice of certain intents, it can generate a feeling within an individual of being somewhat out of place. For the individual is generating an exploration that does not move smoothly in relation to the established rules, so to speak – the rules of your community or the rules of your society, which there are many of, in conjunction with how to behave, how to interact, what roles to express. And if an individual chooses an intent that does not necessarily conform to those rules, they can feel displaced or that they do not fit or that they were not meant to be here, so to speak.

This can also be emphasized and enhanced, which it is in association with you individually, if the individual incorporates many, many, many focuses in other realities, for that can generate a contribution to that feeling of displacement. For the familiarity of this reality may be somewhat less than it is with other realities, and that can add to that feeling of not fitting or that perhaps you were not meant to be here. But in actuality, this is a choice, and it is dependent upon the individual how they proceed with their choice to be continuing within this reality or not to be continuing within this reality. In this, --

ANON: I have other focuses in other realities?

ELIAS: Many, yes.

ANON: Many. Can you put a number on them?

ELIAS: No. That, as I have expressed to other individuals, would not be numberable.

ANON: Okay. But are you saying that there are more of me in other realities than there are in this one?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: And this makes this reality less familiar to me and less comfortable.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay, thank you.

I was exploring some things in the transcripts a couple weeks ago and I got up and I walked away, and suddenly I heard in my head a very loud voice that said, “Would you rather not get it directly than have to search the Elias pages?” Is that…? Can I channel?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay. How can I do that?

ELIAS: (Laughs) There are many different methods in which you can incorporate that action, and the most important factor is that you allow yourself to relax and an openness to receive information and not to discount it as imagined.

ANON: Right. I used to do it on the computer, typing what I heard, and I think that at some point, I thought, “Well, this is too fantastic. It can’t be real.” I’m doing it?

ELIAS: (Laughs) This is quite commonly expressed when individuals move in that direction of generating that allowance for that openness and subsequently they deny that avenue, for they generate the association that it is not real, or that it is imagined, or that it is not possible. But it is quite possible. (Laughs) You are engaging conversation with myself; therefore, that should be your evidence that it IS possible.

ANON: It’s definitely possible.

I have a pain in my lower abdomen, possibly intestines. Can you give me some insight?

ELIAS: And your impression?

ANON: Some sort of a blocking of energy, I would assume. I mean, that’s usually what I’m doing.

ELIAS: And what would your assessment be of blocking energy?

ANON: Holding on to it?

ELIAS: In what capacity?

ANON: Well, that’s difficult to define. That’s why I need some help. I mean, I’ve got the overall impression but I can’t get the particulars, if you know what I mean.

ELIAS: I am aware.

Now; in this, let us explore momentarily. When did you notice this pain beginning?

ANON: Well, I’ve noticed it for a while. I’m more acutely aware since I’ve actually been reading your pages and trying to be aware of my body and what it might be telling me. The last couple weeks more acutely, I think.

ELIAS: And in this past time framework, what have you been doing?

ANON: The last couple weeks?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I’ve been putting together my questions for you today. I’ve been reading the Elias materials. I’ve been having some phenomenal success. Perhaps this is getting off the subject, but let me go into something else that I was going to mention to you because it might be related: I began doing the exercise that you assigned to someone, to find three things you appreciate about yourself each day.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: And about the fourth day I had a dream about a man that I had loved about fifteen years ago. Back then there was a strong mutual attraction, but he was married so nothing became of it because I didn’t allow it. It ended badly, but over the years I have had so many dreams of him, and all of them have been about betrayal and rejection. I more or less determined that I never wanted to see him ever again and I would go my way to a nunnery and would have nothing more to do with any man ever.

But after your exercise I had a dream where this man and I consummated our love. Since then, my energy has been vastly different. There’ve been all kinds of raging hormones. I had to cause the hot water in the apartment building to go out so that I’d have to take a cold shower. (Elias laughs) So that dream experience is having a profound effect on my waking life.

ELIAS: And it IS interrelated.

ANON: Is it?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Okay.

ELIAS: Now; in this, you are generating a process of becoming more aware of you and of moving into a position in which you will allow yourself much more freedom and allow yourself to express yourself much more freely. But this is a process, and it is a process of discovery.

Now; in this process of discovery you are offering yourself information, and your desire is to continue to present information to yourself to become more aware, which will allow you more freedom, but in expressing that desire in objective terms and in waking imagery and in doing, there are elements that you are uncovering – not that they have been hidden, but that you have covered.

And now you are beginning to uncover certain elements within yourself and allow yourself to genuinely examine yourself and your experience and your choices. In that type of process, what occurs initially is somewhat of a hesitation.

Now; this is not to say that you do not continue to move in your process and that you do not continue to unfold yourself and expand, for you do. But, there are underlying hesitations, for there is an apprehension of what MIGHT be discovered, what MAY be lurking within you that you may view as uncomfortable or distasteful. This in actuality is quite common, and generally speaking, as you continue within your process of unfolding, you do discover many different elements concerning yourself that perhaps previously you would have reacted to negatively but when you actually unfold them, they are not in actuality viewed as negatively as you may have previously.

Therefore, what is significant is the apprehension, not what you may actually discover. It is not the discovery itself, it is the apprehension connected to the discovery that generates the hesitation. And in that, you continue to move and generate information, but you incorporate this underlying apprehension which, figuratively speaking, is a type of holding to energy. And in that, you can generate physical symptoms and manifestations of that type of holding to energy.

In a manner of speaking, it is very similar to the automatic action that occurs when you become tense or when you become anxious. Your physical body will respond, and your breathing will change – it will become more shallow. And if there is an INTENSITY of anxiety, your breathing may even be momentarily interrupted. You may even gasp, or you may stop your breathing momentarily, in what you term to be holding your breath. This is a very similar action that occurs within the physical body consciousness when you generate underlying apprehensions. Your body consciousness creates a similar action of holding your breath by holding energy in specific areas of your body.

In this, when you notice that you are holding your breath and that you are anxious, you will incorporate some action to alleviate that tension. If you are aware that your body consciousness is generating a very similar action which is an automatic response to the apprehension that you are expressing, even if you are not FEELING apprehensive, that is not to say that you may not be expressing that energy anyway. The indicator of the energy that you are expressing is what you are actually DOING, and doing is the physical and also the inner doing. And in that, the body consciousness responds and will be holding energy in a similar manner to you holding your breath.

Now; the paying attention to the doing is significant, for individuals become confused in relation to their energy and what is occurring and how it is being manipulated and whether they are holding energy and how. For generally the first elements that you pay attention to are what you are feeling and what you are thinking, but what you are feeling and what you are thinking are not necessarily indicators of what your energy is doing.

What YOU are doing is a strong indicator of what energy you are expressing and whether you are holding energy or are whether you are pushing energy or whether you are allowing a free flow, and how you recognize that is by recognizing what you are physically doing. Once you identify what you are physically doing, move your attention to what you are inwardly doing. For you may be feeling neutral, and you may be thinking in one direction in relation to any particular subject, but inwardly what you may be doing is worrying or expressing a harshness with yourself or generating expectations in relation to “shoulds” and “should nots.” And in those doings, you may not be thinking that this is what you are doing, but inwardly you are. This is the reason that it is important to recognize and to pay attention to what you are actually doing.

It is also important to recognize importance, what you generate as important. For that also incorporates a strong influence upon the energy that you are expressing. And importance is not directly associated with good or bad; importance can move in either direction, for you can be generating an importance in relation to some expression that you dislike, and the dislike becomes important. And the more important some expression is, the more you pay attention to it. And the more you pay attention to it, the more energy you offer it. And therefore you also concentrate on it more, and when you concentrate upon an expression more, you create it more.

As an example, if you incorporate some action that you view to be an annoyance: let us express an example of a dog barking. Hypothetically, we present a scenario in which there is a dog near to your home that incessantly is barking – constantly, constantly barking – and this creates an annoyance. And the more the dog creates this action of barking, the more annoyed you become.

Now; the barking itself incorporates less importance in your association than the annoyance. The annoyance becomes the important. And therefore, you begin to pay more and more attention to how annoyed you are. And the more you pay attention to the annoyance – for it is important now – the more you concentrate upon the barking. And the more you concentrate upon the barking, the more you create it. And all the while you may be thinking, “I’m attempting to relax. I am attempting to ignore this sound,” but the barking continues. And you may be feeling, “I am calm. I am not generating excitement. I am attempting to distract myself,” but you are not, for your concentration is held upon the action.

Now; it is not merely the action, for all of these factors have branches to them. For the barking itself is not the annoyance; it is the belief associated with it, which may be that it is inconsiderate for another individual to allow their creature to be engaging this action, which is annoying to other individuals. But you may not necessarily incorporate any thoughts concerning the individual associated with the creature; you may merely generate the attention to the creature itself and the action that it is incorporating. But beneath that is the belief associated with behaviors and associated with other individuals, and associated with yourself and your own guidelines. You would not allow this behavior from a creature, for this would be your guideline; therefore, automatically there is an association that other individuals should not allow this either and should be generating consideration for their neighbors.

ANON: Right. Okay.

ELIAS: This is an example in which, if you are not actually paying attention to what you are actually doing inwardly also, not merely physically, you may not be aware of what you are generating, and you may create a headache, and you will question why you are incorporating this headache. There appears to be no reason that you are developing this headache, but in actuality there IS a reason. For in generating the concentration upon the belief of consideration and it being violated, in your perception, you hold your attention to the action that is occurring and you hold your attention with the importance of the dislike and the annoyance. And you continue to generate tension, and as you continue that concentration and that attention and you continue the same actions, you increase the tension. And as you increase –

ANON: I see what you’re saying.

ELIAS: As you do that, you hold energy.

ANON: Yeah, okay. I’m going to have to give this more attention. (Both laugh)

I’d like to ask you about something that happened in September of last year in the car. I was thinking about something, and I know thinking about something is communication, but what happened was I was thinking about if I had done something differently in the past, and suddenly I had a mild headache and then there was a rush of energy that came through me. I think it came through my head and went down through my stomach. And suddenly I was extraordinarily happy. I wanted to get out and dance in the cornfield. Of course, you know, the police would not look favorably upon that, but it was just such a sudden rush of joy. What happened?

ELIAS: That was you connecting with your energy as essence, interrupting a discounting of yourself and offering you an experience to appreciate, one that you can draw upon in moments in which you notice yourself moving in the direction of regret. You can remind yourself of that experience and allow yourself to remember that it is unnecessary to move in the expression of regret.

For, as I have expressed many times, whatever you are generating in any time framework is perfectly expressed, for it is expressed in conjunction with the information that you incorporate in that time framework. Therefore, recalling an experience and expressing regret, and expressing from the vantage point of the present that you could have generated a different choice which would have been better, is ludicrous. For in the moment, you generate the choices that you are equipped to generate objectively, and therefore they are all perfect in relation to their time framework.

ANON: I’m beginning to find that out, you know, working through it. (Elias laughs)

I did the energy deposit thing that you had talked about in your transcripts. I intended to put energy of time travel into my closet, so I sat down in the closet and I got a familiar picture that I’ve had many times. I have this vision of myself on a mountain in southern France on a very sunny day, looking down on a valley below and being overwhelmed with some sense of ending. But this time I was Bertrand Marty, the Cathar priest at Montségur, and that was when it fell, in 1244. And I was very aware of myself at that time as Bertrand Marty of myself now. Was that time travel? Is that what that’s like?

ELIAS: It is a form, yes. It is a form of time traveling, for it is an actual projection of yourself. And in that, it is beyond the projection in which you are observing another time framework and you are watching what is occurring, but this type of projection is one in which you allow yourself to actually BE and experience.

Therefore, were you to figuratively visualize the difference between these types of projections, one would figuratively be likened to watching a film of another time and another place, and the other would be jumping INTO the film and being in the other time and the other place, and even being the other individual.

ANON: Okay. So, a number of years ago I had an experience where I woke up in the middle of the night to a presence in the room. And I was aware of a Cathar; I was reading about the Cathars at the time, and now I think it was Bertrand Marty. And he wanted to go through the mirror that’s on the dresser back to that time of the Cathars and find out what it was really like. The atmosphere in the room at that time was of being more real than what it is right now at this very moment.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ANON: What is that?

ELIAS: For in that, what you are doing is presenting yourself with another aspect of yourself. Therefore, you are generating more than one presence of your energy – two individuals, but all your energy. And therefore, the more energies you actually physically experience in one time framework that are your energies, the more vivid your reality becomes.

ANON: Hm. Cool!

ELIAS: For the more powerful the expression of your energy is, and therefore the more present.

ANON: This is something that happens a great deal with me when I read about the Cathars. There’s some kind of strong connection there. Were the Cathars Dreamwalkers? Were they fully manifest? I know they were mystical, but were they actually there?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Yes, they were actually there.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: They were actual people that were fully manifest.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: And why is this life so profoundly affecting THIS life, the lives of the Cathars?

ELIAS: For you are generating similar explorations. You –

ANON: So I’m to be burned at the stake?

ELIAS: No. You are shifting and widening your awareness, and those individuals were exploring the expansion of self.

ANON: I see.

ELIAS: Therefore, the directions are very similar: the discovery of your abilities, the discovery of what you actually are and what you can do.

ANON: Okay. I could see that.

You told me last time that I was an observing presence in Emily Dickenson’s life. There’s a poem that she wrote, and the first time that I read this, I knew she was talking to me. It goes:

“I shall not murmur if at last
The ones I loved below
Permission have to understand
For what I shunned them so —
Divulging it would rest my Heart
But it would ravage theirs —
Why, Katie, Treason has a Voice —
And mine — dispels — in Tears.”

What’s the treason?

ELIAS: And what is your impression in relation to what is being expressed?

ANON: I’m not sure, now that you’ve put it that way. Was she speaking to me first of all? The treason… The treason… Well, I don’t know. Sometimes people just aren’t ready to hear this kind of thing.

ELIAS: Correct. And also, it would be associated with individuals’ perception of betrayal and the voice that that incorporates.

ANON: Okay.

ELIAS: The recognition.

ANON: Betrayal?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Rather than treason?

ELIAS: Which –

ANON: “Has a voice and mine dispels in tears.” Was this meant for me?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.

ANON: Okay.

I have one more weird question. (Elias laughs) Well, I’ll come up with another weird question. I find pennies. What am I trying to tell myself when I find pennies? I mean, I want to tell myself that I’m finding money, but if I’m going to find money I’d rather have more than pennies.

ELIAS: (Laughs) I would express to you that this imagery is a presentment to you to be accepting and appreciating of what you deem to be the small expressions.

ANON: Ah!

ELIAS: For the small expressions generate a contribution, and collectively they become important. Therefore, it is an encouragement in imagery to be acknowledging and appreciating the small expressions that you engage.

ANON: I see. Okay.

All right. Let me see if there’s something else that I had. If I pursue looking up this man that I used to know, as you’ve said many times, the relationship is not co-created, it’s MY creation.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: And if I want it to go well, I have to appreciate myself.

ELIAS: Correct. Yes.

ANON: So, I concentrate on appreciating me.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: Not on him.

ELIAS: Correct. And allowing your own expression rather than waiting and depending upon the other individual’s expression for permission for you to express.

ANON: (Laughs) Okay. Not sure exactly what that means. You’re saying don’t hold back?

ELIAS: What I am expressing is individuals, in relation to each other, generally hesitate and generate a very strong association that they themselves cannot express what they want until another individual expresses in a manner that indicates permission for you to express in the manner that you want. Therefore, an individual may, as an example, express a genuine love for another individual but may deny themselves and not allow themself to express if they do not perceive that the other individual is willing to receive before they express. Therefore, the expression of their love is dependent upon the permission of the other individual. And if that –

ANON: It’s saying, “You go first.”

ELIAS: Correct. And if that does not occur, then the individual denies themself and will not allow their own expression. For there is also an expectation that “If I express, you should express also in like kind.” But in actuality, what genuinely wants to be expressed is merely yourself. Regardless of whether another individual reciprocates or not, ultimately it is the freedom of allowing yourself to express in your own genuineness that is fulfilling and satisfying regardless of what the other individual expresses – for the denial of self is what generates the tremendous hurt and dissatisfaction.

ANON: Okay, so that’s what I have been expressing all of these years, is the denial of myself-

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Because I didn’t allow it to happen.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I see. You’re wonderful! (Elias laughs) Magnificent disincarnate!

We will talk again.

ELIAS: Very well.

ANON: Thank you so much.

ELIAS: You are very welcome.

ANON: I’ve got so much to work on. It’s going to be wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

ELIAS: (Laughs) You’re very welcome, my dear friend. And I express to you genuine appreciation and great lovingness.

To you, in tremendous encouragement and support, au revoir.

ANON: Thank you. Au revoir.

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Copyright 2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.