Creating an Excuse to Discontinue Interactions and Expectations; Doubting Oneself
Topics:
"Creating an Excuse to Discontinue Interactions and Expectations"
"Doubting Oneself and Questioning Decisions"
"How to Expand Creatively"
"Why Someone Might Go Mad"
"The Factor of Suggestibility"
"The Nature of Prayer"
Session 20060909 (2089)
"Creating an Excuse to Discontinue Interactions and Expectations"
"Doubting Oneself and Questioning Decisions"
"How to Expand Creatively"
"Why Someone Might Go Mad"
"The Factor of Suggestibility"
"The Nature of Prayer"
"Passion and Attraction of Energy Heightens the Awareness of the Body Consciousness"
"Where Am I When I'm Distracted?"
"A Dream About No Separation, and a Reminder to Be Playful"
Saturday, September 9, 2006
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Yinka (Adrianna)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
YINKA: Hello, Elias! (Elias laughs) How have you been?
ELIAS: As always, and yourself?
YINKA: Oh, I’ve been fine. Well, all right, actually, for now. (Elias laughs) I miss you!
ELIAS: (Laughs) But I am always with you.
YINKA: Oh, I know that. Well, hmmm… Anyway, it’s good to talk to you again. And all good friends.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And you also.
YINKA: Can I just quickly ask you first, why did I create an anxiety attack for myself when I was in Nigeria? A panic attack ?
ELIAS: And what is your assessment?
YINKA: Well, I don’t know. I just thought it was a drug that I was taking for malaria or something like that, or was it the expectation I was having concerning my parents?
ELIAS: The latter is a significant factor.
YINKA: Yeah, I know. That’s why I had to leave at some point, you know, because it was too much.
ELIAS: And how WAS your adventure?
YINKA: Oh god, Elias, it was a big... At the beginning, for the first two weeks, I was really on top of things. What I went there to do I got it done, but by the end of that two weeks I lost it somewhere. Every time my mom talked or my dad talked, it was as if they were trying to say something that they probably dreamt, and you know I realized that I had too much expectation of myself. It was just so much that I knew I couldn’t fight it anymore, I just had to leave. And then I thought I had malaria or typhoid, and they said they had typhoid and all that stuff, and then I was having all these panic attacks, and.... Oh god, it was stressful, Elias.
ELIAS: But it also provided you with an excuse to discontinue the interaction.
YINKA: What interaction? What do you mean?
ELIAS: It allowed you an avenue to not be obligated and to return to your dwelling.
YINKA: (Laughs) But then you know I had problems about coming back as well.
ELIAS: And what do you view in this scenario?
YINKA: Well, because I was at home I thought there was going to be one problem or the other. One problem was because I just kind of got the feeling of this duplicity of something bad was going on in my country, people are bad or there's going to be some more horrible things going on or the other. Is that it ?
ELIAS: And also a struggle. The struggle is between what you want, what you expect of yourself, and obligation. Therefore, there is the desire to return to the country in which you dwell now.
YINKA: Yes.
ELIAS: But there is also somewhat of a pull to be within your home country.
YINKA: Wow.
ELIAS: For in that, it is not necessarily that you WANT to be within your home country, but there is a pull in association with obligation and expectations.
YINKA: Hmmm. I wouldn't have thought I had any pull, you know?
ELIAS: That pull is associated with the expectations and obligation, not a want.
YINKA: Hmmm. So if I wasn't there then they wouldn’t expect all this from me?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Oh, right! Wow! Thank you for telling me this. (Elias laughs) Hmm. All right!
ELIAS: But also, creating a physical manifestation provides you with a viable avenue to return to the country that you dwell in now.
YINKA: Wow!
ELIAS: For that provides a viable excuse to not remain within your home country.
YINKA: Yeah. You know I’m a glorious being, aren’t I? (Elias laughs) It’s true! Only a glorious being would do that kind of thing and plan it all in that way and think, "Oh well, I don't know what's happening to me'' and then I’m doing it all anyway.
ELIAS: (Laughs) This, my friend, is actually a fine example of the choosing aspect of an individual in which, as I have stated, the choosing aspect of you does not concern itself with comfort or discomfort; it concerns itself with accomplishing what you want. And in that, it may choose – or YOU may choose – dramatic expressions that you may question, but in actuality they may be the most effective avenue for you to engage to circumvent the expectations that you place upon yourself. In this, if you generate a physical manifestation that is associated with a particular physical location, it provides you with a viable and understandable avenue and reason to leave that physical location.
YINKA: Hmmm. Wow.
ELIAS: Therefore, it is quite effective, and it accomplishes what you want without having to justify yourself.
YINKA: Hmmm. Can I ask, why am I also creating blanks with my phone with Mary? I did it today, and I did it the day before as well, where she couldn’t hear me or I couldn't hear her – or she could hear me or whatever. Something was going on between us.
ELIAS: (Laughs) That is a matter of focusing.
YINKA: Oh, you mean I wasn’t focusing?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: I wasn’t? Where am I then?
ELIAS: That is a matter of being distracted in the moment.
YINKA: Ahhh, I thought so. I thought so.
ELIAS: In which, your attention is drifting in the moment, and that creates an interruption.
YINKA: Hmm. Wow. Yeah, okay, I’ll go on. You know, I’m just going to ask now about my work. I've left a part of my work, or I want to now [inaudible] which I enjoy by expanding it more. Because what happens is I have asked myself to do that, to transform my work, so I’ve left one department in which I work with children to focus more on self-employment for myself. But the problem is, you see, where I am right now in this country that I’m in now, I have to have a work permit and I have to work.
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: And I’m now being questioned concerning the fact that I’m wanting to work in one place and not have a work permit for the other. Now, I’m feeling that all this problem is coming because I have asked, and I think the solution which would help me to obtain what I want and create a balance is being enacted. Is that why all this problem is coming up with my work issue?
ELIAS: And what is the problem?
YINKA: The problem is one, first of all, the rule says I have to have a work permit in order to do any work. I had a work permit from a different school where I no longer work, right?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: And as far as that goes, that’s fine by me. I don’t have to through all the law stuff. But I’m feeling that the law might catch up with me. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Are you required to continue in the previous employment?
YINKA: No, I’m not required, no. But I am required to stay in the place where I have my work permit.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but you are complying with that?
YINKA: No, I’m not. The way I’ve created things now is that it is okay with me and the person I used to work with that I can have my work permit without having to lawfully work with them. I've created that perfectly all right. But it’s just that now it’s being questioned, and I want to keep working the way I’m working right now, just dictating my own time and space and money…
ELIAS: And who is questioning it?
YINKA: Well, I thought it was government, and then somebody was asking me why I was working in a different place other than where my work permit is taken from. So is it me who is questioning me, then?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Oh god almighty! So if I wasn't questioning it I wouldn't have this problem?
ELIAS: If you are generating a confidence and are comfortable in what you are doing, it will not be questioned.
YINKA: Ahhh. All right.
ELIAS: In this, if you are not expressing within yourself apprehension or doubt or an energy that projects suspicion, and if you are not projecting an energy of questioning yourself, you will not generate being questioned either. You have already created a viable situation, correct?
YINKA: Yes.
ELIAS: Therefore, acknowledge that and do not express within yourself that you are generating a suspicious action.
YINKA: Ah, right. Oh god.
ELIAS: For if you generate that, that is what you will draw to yourself.
YINKA: Yeah, you’re right. I know, I know, I know. But then, based on that, this is what's been going on now: I've left my other job, and I don’t have that consistent salary to expect at the end of the month anymore, although I have my other job. What I’m thinking is, you know, my mind keeps going to the fact that I won’t be able to pay my rent, I won’t be able to pay my bills, but I know I can create these things easily for myself.
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: I also think if I don't have this, I don’t have any work I’ve done right now so far, and there's no salary that's going to be paid to me. How do I create money before I then finally get another work to do?
ELIAS: First of all, what is significantly important is to recognize that you are generating this strong association with lack.
YINKA: Lack – okay.
ELIAS: And in that, remember, you create what you concentrate upon. Therefore, if your concentrating is rooted in doubt and you are continuously expressing apprehension in association with not generating enough, that is what you will create.
YINKA: Okay.
ELIAS: Therefore, pay attention and notice when you are moving in that expression of generating the association and apprehension of “not enough,” and allow yourself to move your attention back to the present and engage your process. For, in the expression of “not enough,” you are not being present; you are projecting futurely. And in that projection futurely, you are not focused upon what you are doing now.
YINKA: Okay, okay. I will do that. So it means that I don’t have to worry about the fact that I don't have any work I've done so far yet before I can have money.
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Ah, all right. So, what actually will I do to give me the money?
ELIAS: Engage your creativity, my friend.
YINKA: (Laughs) Oh god, Elias.
ELIAS: And engage your imagination to allow you to expand the opportunities that you have already begun with the other employment. You have already begun; acknowledge that. And rather than anticipating the future in apprehension, engage what you have already begun.
YINKA: Okay. Elias, can I just ask you, how do I expand my thinking right now or my opportunities? You know I used to think about it every day. I know that that's one area I want to go into, just expanding all through. Knowing my situation right now, knowing my energy, what can I expand in my life right now?
ELIAS: What do you actually do, in this –
YINKA: Well, this is what I do. For example, what I went to do in Nigeria, I went to do some research. I picked up a particular cultural thing; for example, I was researching on hunters. Now what I’ve done is, I’ve now gotten some of the information back. What I'm going to now do is sit down and try and formulate a story based on that, then I will present that story to my colleagues, and after it will be turned into a drama workshop for children to explore. And so what happens is schools will buy into this, and so depending on how many schools I get, it gives me the opportunity to go into schools and work with the kids. That’s one thing I do. Another thing I do is I can actually sit down and try and formulate and write stories and all that. Well, those are the things I think I do; what do you think?
ELIAS: In that, what are you engaging presently?
YINKA: Presently?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Presently I’m on the verge of sitting down and creatively picking up an interesting story from the information that I've got now.
ELIAS: And are you writing the story?
YINKA: No, I’m not, but I know I’m going to do it because sometimes I give myself time to motivate myself to do it, but I’ve always done it in the past. Anyway, that's the way I've been working.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but this is the point: paying attention to the present and paying attention to the process and engaging it – not merely engaging thought and projecting futurely, but actually engaging the process and generating the product.
This is how you expand: You begin and allow yourself to engage your creativity and imagination to develop this body of work in an attractive manner, but the manner in which you expand is to be engaging the process somewhat differently. For, as you have expressed, generally you allow yourself a time framework, and subsequently you will engage the writing and present the body of work. But in that, you are generating an association of work or a task. Rather than generating THAT association, you can expand your expression and your offering and your opportunity by engaging the process as a project of fun – not viewing the outcome but engaging the process; actually BEING the project. And in that, what your presentment will be is YOU, not a thing.
YINKA: I don't understand that last part. Me, not a thing?
ELIAS: Correct. Rather than presenting a thing, a written product, you will be presenting you as the product in written form. For your experience, your creativity, your appreciation, your expression will be the embodiment of it.
YINKA: Hmmm. Elias, can I ask you then: You can view my energy, right?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: So, which area is actually a fun area for me to look at right now in my life? 'Cause I don't know.
ELIAS: A fun…?
YINKA: Hello?
ELIAS: Yes. Express to myself, what would be the theme of your story?
YINKA: (Laughs) Elias, the theme of my story is it will be like… There are these hunters who live in traditional ways. I will have this person who does an exploration in which he does what he wasn’t supposed to do, and so because of that he has to go through some struggles and challenges, and those challenges are going to pick up different things that I'm going to put up a challenge in front of him, and then he's going to do all of those things and then he'll go back home.
ELIAS: Ah! Therefore, this IS actually a story that is associated with you.
YINKA: Yes. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Now; in generating the story, and engaging fun, rather than merely sitting at your desk and writing, enact the story. As you write it, enact it.
YINKA: All right! Good!
ELIAS: Actually allow yourself to physically perform it for yourself while you are writing it.
YINKA: (Laughs) All right. Okay, I’ll do that then.
ELIAS: And in that, be creative. For, even within the struggles there can be dramatic movements, and there can be even expressions of dance (Yinka laughs) that you can incorporate in expressing great emoting, or great struggle and suffering and great confusion. And in that also, while you are performing what you are writing, allow yourself to engage your creativity in another fashion and costume yourself.
YINKA: Ah! (Laughs) God, Elias!
ELIAS: Perhaps even create masks.
YINKA: (Laughs) Lord! (Elias laughs) You know, what I think as you're saying all this is that in the midst of it – because I know that in my house I do some funny things as well – so in the midst of it I will think I may be am going mad or I’m just ...
ELIAS: (Laughs) You are not going mad; you are discovering fun and allowing yourself to freely and more greatly express your creativity. In that, you infuse your energy into the body of work, the product itself, and that creates the avenue for expansion.
YINKA: Mmmm, nice! I like that then, and I'll try it.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And I shall be present, observing how you are creating your costuming and your production. (Laughs)
YINKA: I know you are fun. You can brings your friends and be my audience then.
ELIAS: Ah, very well.
YINKA: Good. (Both laugh)
Well, can I ask, based on that, you know a long time ago when I was writing about cockerels, when I was doing it on my computer who placed a cockerel on my computer? Was it you, or who?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Was it? (Laughs) Nice, good.
Let me ask a different question now. You know my painting that I said I’ve been changing?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: The [inaudible] one, the one in which I wrote a letter of love to myself in which I painted myself holding myself close: Why do I look so weird in that one? Is that the way my essence looks?
ELIAS: That is an interpretation.
YINKA: Ahhh. Good god. (Elias laughs) I look very weird but very loving to myself, though, in a loving embrace.
ELIAS: But that is also an expression of passion.
YINKA: Ahhh. Oh, how sweet!
Okay, now let me ask a different question. Why did my father's friend, Oga Otha, why did he go mad? (Long pause) Hello?
ELIAS: I am understanding. And what is the motivation for this question?
YINKA: Well because when I was having panic attacks I kept thinking maybe that's what was happening to me. I kept associating myself with that and kept thinking that maybe this can happen unexpectedly – you know, some of the things we've talked about before – and then I kept thinking maybe he had read too much. I was [inaudible] myself that maybe he overwhelmed himself. Some of those issues I've talked with you before; that’s why I’m asking.
ELIAS: Do not compare yourself.
YINKA: You’re right.
ELIAS: And you are not generating that direction.
YINKA: Um-hm. Can I just ask, why did he go mad then?
ELIAS: (Slowly) It is actually a choice of a different experience that allows this individual an avenue in which he no longer expresses responsibility with himself, in which the individual experienced somewhat of a harshness with himself in association with responsibility, and to quell that responsibility and allow himself to express in a different manner without expectations, he chose to be engaging a different type of expression.
YINKA: All right. I will leave that.
Let's go to a different question then. Do we really create our realities in Nigeria? I mean, there’s so much cultural beliefs that someone can manipulate others' misfortune or, you know, witchcraft. Is this real?
ELIAS: Is it real?
YINKA: The fact that somebody else can manipulate someone else in Nigeria – I’m talking about my country now.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
YINKA: And all this witchcraft stuff where horrible things happen to people: Is this real?
ELIAS: I am understanding. This is somewhat of a tricky question, for your question is, “Is it real?”and I may express to you, “Yes, it is real,” but is it actually that another individual can manipulate an individual’s experiences... ?
YINKA: And create misfortunes for them.
ELIAS: No.
YINKA: No!? So that means that I'll say in Nigeria we create our realities then?
ELIAS: Yes. You all create your reality.
YINKA: But there's a cultural belief that we don’t really, that we're at the mercy of others.
ELIAS: I am understanding, and that is quite real. This is the point: Beliefs are quite real, and beliefs influence perception, and perception creates your actual physical reality. AND in your reality, as human individuals you incorporate a quality of suggestibility. Therefore, in association with beliefs, suggestions can be expressed and the individuals can easily create what is suggested. Just as –
YINKA: Oh wow, wow.
ELIAS: Let me express to you: The reason that I do not express to individuals in our conversations predictions, so to speak, of future events, and the reason that I continuously express to individuals even in discussions concerning potentials that there is always the element of choice, is that I am aware of this factor of suggestibility. And in that, were I to express to an individual some future experience that they will create, it is quite likely that the individual would actually create that. For the suggestion has been offered, and in association with the individual’s beliefs there is a tremendous likelihood that the individual would actually create that – although, were the suggestion NOT offered, the individual may create quite differently.
YINKA: Yeah, you’re right.
ELIAS: For that type of interaction blocks choice in association with the individual’s beliefs.
Now; as to a culture such as what you are describing, it is not that another individual manipulates another’s fortune or misfortune, but that the beliefs are strongly expressed, and the suggestibility is strongly expressed, and in that, individuals will and do create misfortune in association with their superstitions. And that is quite real, for they do not express an objective understanding that they actually create all of their reality; and in that, if they do not create all of their reality, they can easily fall prey to other individuals or become victims of circumstances and other individuals.
YINKA: Yeah. Hmm.
ELIAS: In different areas of your world this may be expressed more strongly than others, but I may also express to you, most individuals within all of your reality do not yet quite objectively understand and accept that they do create every aspect of their reality.
YINKA: Do we have somebody like you or somebody who can communicate with us there?
ELIAS: Similar to myself? No.
YINKA: So are we going to be left behind in the Shift, then, or what?
ELIAS: No. Regardless of whether individuals draw themselves to this information or not, you are all throughout your world shifting. You generate that action in different manners, but you are all shifting. And, just as you who draw yourselves to this information and interact with myself generate experiences initially to emphasize what you are addressing to, such as the presentment of your individual core truths, you may be identifying what your core truths are, but prior to that identification you have generated considerable experiences, and many of them in extreme, to emphasize what those core truths are and how strongly they are affecting and how absolute they are. And in similar manner, other individuals within any culture are presenting themselves with the same, but perhaps in a different manner; but they are presenting themselves with absolutes and how strong they are.
YINKA: You know, how did I call on you? When you first came to sleep on my bed with Patel, did I call you? How did you come to me?
ELIAS: It was not necessarily a calling; it was ...
YINKA: Why did you come to me then?
ELIAS: It was more of an openness, and in that, as I have expressed, I am always with you; it is merely a matter of whether you are generating an openness to notice.
YINKA: So did you know me before, or why?
ELIAS: Yes!
YINKA: Where? Where did I meet you, Elias? Come on! (Elias laughs) Where did we meet? Come on, tell me.
ELIAS: We have shared many focuses together.
YINKA: (Laughs) Good Lord! Have we?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Good god, then I must try and find out then. If it's true, then I must find out.
ELIAS: And that again may be a fun project. (Laughs)
YINKA: You know, it might be. I like to do things that I like. The thing is that I’m just going to allow myself to do all those things. (Elias laughs)
You know, going on what you were talking before and my culture and all that, you know we pray a lot, and we seem to be the one that's carrying all this Christianity or Islamic stuff now. I’m just wondering, where do our prayers go? Do they get answered? Why are we still very poor in Africa?
ELIAS: Do prayers become answered? That is dependent upon the individuals. It is associated with individuals' beliefs.
Where do prayers go? Prayers are an expression of the individual in association with an attempt to connect with what they perceive to be some greater element than themselves – some expression or energy or entity that they perceive to be more powerful than themselves. In this, prayer can be a powerful expression, dependent upon how it is incorporated.
Now; prayer is incorporated in many different manners. It can be incorporated in a manner of worship, which provides an individual with a type of focal point. And in that focal point, it allows the individual a type of empowerment of themself. Their idea or their association that their strength or their conviction is being provided by God, but in actuality that god is merely a focal point for the individual to focus their energy and their attention to accomplish certain actions.
Now; there are other forms of prayer that become somewhat confusing and discouraging to individuals, for those types of prayers are expressed in a form of desperation. When an individual prays in the expression of desperation, it can be tremendously disappointing, for they are attempting to gain or acquire some manifestation outside of themselves, and therefore their prayer is more of a cry of desperation to themself.
All prayer is a form of communication to self, but it can be directed in different manners. It can be directed in a manner that empowers the individual and allows them avenues to create significant or even great experiences and great manifestations, or it can be incorporated in a manner in which it perpetuates the devastation, or it can perpetuate the desperation of an individual and perpetuate the victimhood of an individual. In which, that type of prayer can be somewhat disappointing and discouraging, for the individual generates the association that their prayers fall upon a deaf god and that God does not answer them, or that God is displeased or angry with them. And in that, it continuously perpetuates the discounting of the individual; and the more they discount, the more they create what they do not want.
YINKA: Mm-hm. Can I go to another question?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: You know, when I was at Stonehenge, there was a little stone outside, a little stone I kind of connected with. And I was just wondering, there were these words that kept coming to my mind, which were, "Little Tamarin, what are you doing here?" What does that connote to me?
ELIAS: And what were you feeling?
YINKA: What was I feeling?
ELIAS: I expressed to you previously to pay attention to what you were feeling when you traveled, did I not?
YINKA: You did, but I was happy, I was very happy to be with that stone.
ELIAS: And I was present.
YINKA: Ahh!
ELIAS: And in this, the reason that I expressed to you to pay attention is that you do incorporate a focus with myself in that area. [1]
YINKA: Wow. Wow. So, what did the phrase "Little Tamarin" mean to me then?
ELIAS: It is an association of joy.
YINKA: Ah! Because you know it kept coming and kept saying, "Little Tamarin, what are you doing here?" And I thought, “Oh god, I don’t want to discount myself, because I’m definitely hearing this,” you know.
ELIAS: Yes, yes, for it is an expression of remembrance of joy.
YINKA: Aww. Was I Tamarin?
ELIAS: Yes!
YINKA: Awww. Oh, that's good. So that is a good method to find myself – see, that’s nice! I like that. [Inaudible] That’s great! I told myself that I'm not going to discount myself, this means something to me. (Elias laughs) Good!
Other than that, you know, I felt a bit – you know, I don't think I should be discussing this on the phone like this now. I felt a bit horny on the journey. Why did I feel that?
ELIAS: (Laughs) That is not unusual. For, in the expression of passion coupled with attraction of energy, it can easily trigger that type of physical response. For you are engaging energy and allowing yourself to merge with energy in a type of expression that is appreciated, and there is also an attraction to that energy. And in that, you involve your physical body consciousness, and in the involvement of your physical body consciousness, being present with yourself and being present in what you are doing, that heightens the expressions and awareness of the body consciousness, and that can easily engage that mechanism of the body consciousness.
YINKA: Hmmm. Wow.
Can I ask you my friend Tony’s stats, what is his family and alignment?
ELIAS: And your impression?
YINKA: Oh god. Let’s see - Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony. I think he's Sumafi?
ELIAS: Correct.
YINKA: Aha, good! Sumafi aligned with... Milumet?
ELIAS: Correct.
YINKA: Ah! All right! What is his... Oh god, what’s it called now, focus? Is he emotionally focused?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: He's emotionally focused as well?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Oh god. What is his... political... Oh god, I don’t know how to ask that.
ELIAS: The orientation?
YINKA: The orientation. What's his orientation?
ELIAS: And your impression?
YINKA: Common.
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: He’s like me then. Why am I so attracted to him?
ELIAS: Commonalities – and also a familiarity, for you do share other focuses.
YINKA: I thought so. I told him I was his wife.
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: (Laughs) See? Oh god, I should trust myself more, shouldn’t I? (Elias laughs) I know I should. [Inaudible]
Can I ask mother’s then?
ELIAS: And your impression?
YINKA: I think she’s Tumold.
ELIAS: Correct.
YINKA: Ah, fantastic. Tumold; I think she’s also… I don’t know, Elias.
ELIAS: Vold.
YINKA: Vold. I was going to say – why didn't I just say it out? (Elias laughs) I should trust myself more, shouldn't I?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Vold – yes! And uh, let’s see. She’s emotional focused?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Yeah, I know. And she’s common like me?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Okay, thank you very much. So now, can I ask you another question before you go?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Oh god. Hold on, hold on. Well, I think... Wait! Can you see my friend Kachallah in transition?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Why did he disengage?
ELIAS: It is a choice, my friend.
YINKA: (Sighs) Yeah... yeah. Can you say hello to him for me?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Yeah.
ELIAS: And you can also express interaction.
YINKA: I know. Well... You know I had a dream in which myself and my mother, my houses here in England and Africa were beside each other, were in the same place in the same way, but with just a veil separating us and I could see everybody. So it was only now left to me whether I want to remove the veil or not?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Am I trying to express to myself that there's no separation ?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Wow. Is that why…? You know, I've got two nephews, a nephew and a niece, who when they were born they introduced themselves to me, and I didn't even know they were born objectively.
ELIAS: I am understanding, and this also is not an unusual occurrence. For, many times essences may introduce themselves to individuals prior to birth, or even at the moment of birth, in projecting their energy to other individuals and generating a connection.
YINKA: Hmm. Wow. Are Patsy Baker and Lorraine Hansberry focuses of mine?
ELIAS: Observing.
YINKA: Sorry?
ELIAS: Observing.
YINKA: I'm observing essence of them.
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: Oh, both Lorraine Hansberry and Patsy Baker?
ELIAS: Also.
YINKA: You know, just before I came back from Nigeria, on the evening before I came back I saw a jumping cloud. It kept moving for about 35 minutes up and down, up and down; it kept jumping. What does that mean?
ELIAS: An expression of playful energy to remind you to BE playful.
YINKA: Oh god. So that cloud was for me? I thought I was too insignificant for just a cloud in the sky to be jumping for me.
ELIAS: That was! It is your imagery to remind you to engage your playfulness…
YINKA: God.
ELIAS: ... Which is what we have spoken of in this conversation.
YINKA: You’re right, Elias; you’re very correct. I know I should be!
ELIAS: Now therefore, remember your jumping cloud.
YINKA: Yeah, I will remember it.
My time is up with you for now, and just… Can I just ask you, you know I want to loosen this fear of expression that I have or just allowing myself. What can I do?
ELIAS: Be present.
YINKA: Present?
ELIAS: Yes.
YINKA: My god.
ELIAS: It is –
YINKA: When I'm not present, where do I go then?
ELIAS: You project futurely in anticipation, or you project pastly in generating associations with past experiences or comparisons, and in those actions you are not present, and that generates fear and it restricts your freedom. If you are being present, you are not concerning yourself with those projections and you allow yourself that freedom. Therefore, this production that you will begin engaging presently (laughs) ...
YINKA: Yes?
ELIAS: … will be a significant exercise in being present and allowing yourself to be playful and engage fun in your process of BEING present.
YINKA: Okay. Good. Thank you very much, Elias, I will do just that.
All right then, I think I'm going to say goodbye to you, Elias.
ELIAS: Very well. I shall be anticipating our next meeting, my friend.
YINKA: Yeah. Thank you very much, Elias. I appreciate you.
ELIAS: I express great appreciation to you, my friend, and tremendous lovingness. In great encouragement to you as always, au revoir.
YINKA: Au revoir.
[1] Yinka's note: Later I discovered that the word "Little Tamarin" was a pet name used to call me by my then distant cousin Elias in a focus I shared with him in the Stonehenge area, now Somerset. I was also called so by other relatives around, as I was quite small. In that focus Elias was a few years older than myself. I was about 6 years old, and I also died as a young one in that focus. Elias's reference of joy was said as a remembrance of the joy at seeing me, the child he use to tease, hence the phrase "Little Tamarin, what are you doing here?"
(Elias departs after 1 hour 1 minute)
Copyright 2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.