Friday, March 31, 2006

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Terri (Uliva)

ELIAS: Good afternoon.

TERRI: Good afternoon. Well, I didn’t make my reams of notes like I usually do today, remembering what you said last time about maybe we could relax and talk more as friends. I thought I’d try that this time and see how that goes.

ELIAS: Very well.

TERRI: So, today was a big day. It was the ninetieth day of our yoga challenge, and that was pretty cool, being able to complete that and seeing how much I’d changed over the ninety days. I think it’s been a real learning experience, too, as far as learning about me. I’d go to my class, and I’m trying real hard, and I want a compliment, and I notice I’m forcing my energy trying to get it. Then I’d switch it and concentrate more on just the pose and what I’m doing, and then the compliment comes. I was kind of thinking that was a good way to play with being able to identify what’s forcing and what’s not. So, that was really cool.

ELIAS: I am acknowledging.

TERRI: It’s really taught me a lot, not just stretching, but it’s really taught me a lot about me and how distracted I get during class and try to bring the focus back to me.

ELIAS: Paying attention.

TERRI: Paying attention, which – I must not have been paying attention yesterday – I was trying to figure out why my phone dropped, and when it did, why it just shattered like that. So, the phone being a tool of communication, was I trying to... Am I not paying attention to communication, or was I trying to cut off the communication from Virginia, from everything back there?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: Because I was feeling so overwhelmed.

ELIAS: It is another example of you generating an action to move yourself and focus in the present, to focus upon what you are doing and your movement and your direction and to allow yourself to not be concentrating upon what other individuals are doing.

TERRI: It’s more like all of the deals that I had going on back there, that became quite a mess with the closings and worrying about the closings and so it was kind of like just leave it back there and focus on here.

ELIAS: This is what you are doing. That is not what you are doing now.

TERRI: Right now?

ELIAS: Correct. You are not in that location now; you are not engaging that action now; you are not moving in that direction now. You are engaging a different direction, and it is not necessary to divide your attention and to project yourself to be in two places at once. That creates distraction and scatteredness, and the point that you are seeking is to be focused. Therefore, you generate this manifestation to push yourself into being focused, once again with your dramatic surprises and creating somewhat of extremes, to offer yourself a message: This is what you are doing now, and this is where your focus is now, until you return.

TERRI: That’s cool. Speaking of dramatic extremes, what is going on with my T-bird in the last couple of weeks? Locking my keys in it, and then creating somebody who’s pulling up in the middle of the night and throwing a rock at it and damaging it, and then me driving over the median and stranding it. What is going on with my car? Initially I was thinking it’s because I’m putting too much attention towards keeping the car perfect. But then I was reading Dale’s blog about her Joe-Jack experiences, and I thought well, maybe it’s a message. The car is me, and I’m feeling attacked or vulnerable or something like that?

ELIAS: It is not actually concerning the car. It is more related to your associations. And what are your associations in relation to the vehicle?

TERRI: That it’s a status symbol, and it means a lot to me as far as the connection with my father. It makes me feel really good when I drive it because I feel special when I drive it. I feel like I’m the center of attention with the top being able to go down. Is that what you’re talking about?

ELIAS: Partially. These are associations. And how do you view that this may be associated with a truth?

TERRI: With a truth that I perceive? The first thing that flashed into my mind when you said that was the image of it, and I have a truth that if it’s damaged then it’s not perfect anymore. Along that line?

ELIAS: What is your truth that you image in relation to the vehicle?

TERRI: As far as the car makes me better? I don’t know. (Laughs)

ELIAS: Image – how you image yourself.

TERRI: That I have a better image driving the car?

ELIAS: No. It is not necessarily better or worse image. It is merely a truth of image, and there are many, many influences in association with image: how you image yourself, what you do, how you express. Your vehicle is an avenue of that, also.

TERRI: Like an extension of me?

ELIAS: Truths are expressed in many, many, many different avenues, and this is the reason that I have expressed that they are difficult to identify. For they are very obvious, and they are unquestioned, and they are exhibited in most of what you do, in any action within your day.

You can, if you are identifying a truth, begin to see many actions that you incorporate are influenced or associated with the truth in some capacity: your class, how you move, what you consume, how you incorporate exercise, how you drive, what you drive, your bicycle, your home, your clothing. Many, many, many, many different expressions that you engage each day are associated with this truth of image.

TERRI: Well, I like my image! (Laughs)

ELIAS: This is the point. Truths are not your enemy; they are not bad. They are your guidelines.

TERRI: So, what am I trying to tell myself?

ELIAS: You have been presenting different expressions to yourself, in a manner of speaking, to lead you to an identification of a truth.

TERRI: But I haven’t got it yet.

ELIAS: I have offered it to you.

TERRI: Image?

ELIAS: Yes. That you incorporate a truth of image, and that is important to you, and therefore, it influences you in most of what you do in each day.

TERRI: I just bought a whole new wardrobe, and the clothes that I picked, I try to only buy things that I think I look really good in and that I like and that I think promote my image.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: And my car promotes my image.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: But why did I damage my car?

ELIAS: To discover this truth.

TERRI: How important my image is to me?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: To relax it some, or just...?

ELIAS: No, but to identify it. For in identifying it, you also can now recognize how influencing it is. If your vehicle is damaged, it affects your image. If another individual is interactive with you and spills pomegranate juice upon your dress, that shall affect your image and you shall react.

This is the reason that it is so significant to identify truths. For once you can identify it, you can begin to view how influencing it is and not to be discounting of it and not to be opposing it, to be appreciating this is your truth, this is your guideline. Therefore, in association with you, it is also associated with your preferences, and it is good.

But in some situations, it can also be limiting, or it can be influencing of conflict in reacting in automatic responses. It can be limiting, for there are many automatic responses associated with truths. In recognizing the influences of a truth, you also begin to view other choices.

TERRI: Which I’ve been trying to do, so this is like another step, then.

ELIAS: Yes, yes.

TERRI: I did a partner’s class with (inaudible), and I just felt so turned off by him, and I was trying to figure out why. One thing came to me is that the more he talked about the different things that were injured, that I perceived him as broken and not perfect. Is this another aspect of that?

ELIAS: This is significant, for your truths also influence how you perceive other individuals or how you perceive what other individuals do. In this, they can be influencing in a conflicting manner. For, truths are so absolute and so unquestioned that individuals generate an automatic association that all other individuals within your reality perceive in the same manner. That is an automatic association. When you present another individual to yourself that does not express in the same manner, it becomes confusing. You notice the difference, and you become repelled.

In not identifying and recognizing the influences of your truths, you block your ability to accept difference, and in different situations, you can also block your ability to cooperate. For your attention automatically moves to the other individual, and you generate assessments and judgments in relation to the other individual’s differences, and you associate them directly with yourself, with your own guidelines, which is automatic. In generating that, what you do that you do not recognize is you generate expectations of the other individual to express differently, and you generate personalization within yourself. Whatever the other individual is expressing or doing becomes not merely repelling but almost an affront to you, for it is not complying with your guidelines.

But if you are aware of what your truth is and you begin to allow yourself to recognize how that influences you, you can also begin to recognize that how the other individual is expressing or what they are doing, yes, may be different, but it may not be what you are translating it to be, which allows you automatically, without effort, to remove the other individual from your perception and not be distressed with their behavior.

TERRI: Like with Caroline, when she was saying that she was going to ask for extra time to complete the challenge. To me, it was like you didn’t do it because you would have done it in the right amount of days, and you took time to go to the concert, and that was your choice. I was trying to practice with that, saying that’s my guideline, that’s the way I would do it, it’s her own challenge and she’s okay with that. It’s different, but it’s not anything to be upset about.

ELIAS: Correct. But you recognized the comparison.

TERRI: Yes. I think that a big part of the people at the yoga studio – and Caroline especially, because she seems to draw so many different types of people as she kind of comes in and out of my life. I think that may be that’s what she’s here for. I guess I’m working on trying to accept difference more, and just herself, she’s very different. But the people she draws to her that have become our friends are all very different. So, that’s part of me trying to work on acceptance?

ELIAS: The manner in which you accept the difference is to recognize your own truths, acknowledge them, but also recognize how they influence you and how they influence you in association with other individuals and their differences, and generating choices that allow you to cooperate with you. In cooperating with you, it matters not what the other individuals are doing.

TERRI: Right. I noticed I put a lot of attention on that lately, so these are just all things helping me work through the whole thing.

ELIAS: Yes, and providing you with many avenues of imagery associated with your truth in relation to image.

TERRI: Okay, cool! (Both laugh) I wanted to ask you, I was in a restaurant a couple of weeks ago with the owner of my company, and I was getting a soda and somebody started stroking my hair. I was concentrating on filling my soda, and I’m like, “I can’t believe that would be John doing that.” I turned around, and it was this man saying, “Your hair was just so pretty, I had to touch it.” He looked at me and said, “And you’re pretty, too!” like he was surprised. I went back to get my soda, and when I turned around he was nowhere. I was wondering if maybe that was my imagery of you? Okay, because that was really cool. It was a neat feeling, because it wasn’t like a stranger. But I couldn’t make it be the owner, so I’m like, well, it’s got to be somebody else! That’s a lot of what’s been going on.

As far as work, I’m trying to keep in mind that I don’t need to worry about what the company’s doing or what John’s doing, but I just don’t feel the movement that I want to in that area. I was reading some of the transcripts, and one person asked if they should keep what they were doing as a job, and you said, “You have a natural ability to be doing that.” I’m wondering if this is a natural ability for me, or if maybe I need to look at something else that would be easier. I don’t know. I feel like I’m at a point where it just doesn’t seem to be going in the direction I want it to go in.

ELIAS: Allow yourself to explore.

TERRI: I’ve been trying to do that, I think. Like when I was driving up here, I was trying to imagine living in a different place, because I’ve never lived anywhere else. I’ve never known anybody or had a relationship where they were going to get transferred, where I’d have to think about living somewhere else. Is there a reason why that’s never come into my life? I like Virginia, because it seems like it’s the center of everywhere, but it’s just never... I don’t think I’m afraid to live somewhere else. I just wouldn’t know where to go. (Laughs)

ELIAS: (Chuckles) You are embarking upon new adventures and allowing yourself now to experiment with your own freedom. Experiment with allowing yourself permission to express more of your own freedom and to explore.

TERRI: And to remember that I have choices.

ELIAS: Yes. And...

TERRI: It’s hard to do! (Laughs)

ELIAS: You are not bound, and that you are also not bound by family.

TERRI: I keep thinking that I am. I keep thinking that I can’t do this “until.”

ELIAS: Correct.

TERRI: I know that’s through everything.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: So how do I...? I try to remind myself that you have choices. Is there something else I can do to help me realize that more or try to open that up more?

ELIAS: Engage that imagination more and allow yourself to experiment. Create a treasure hunt in fun. Perhaps incorporate your computer and merely...

TERRI: Well, if I could stop breaking it, I’ll be able to do that! (Laughing)

ELIAS: And merely explore different locations, or perhaps also allow yourself periodically to incorporate a trip to a new area.

TERRI: I’m going to Colorado next week, so that’s going to be exciting.

ELIAS: When you incorporate these trips, pay attention to how you feel. Pay attention to your energy and the energy of the location.

TERRI: I feel a huge change in my energy up here. It’s so much more open, and I don’t feel threatened. Like at home, the traffic’s so bullish. I feel like there’s threat coming from all different directions.

ELIAS: And you incorporate much more tension, for you incorporate considerable expectations of yourself.

TERRI: I come up here, and I really do feel that it’s like coming home. Sometimes lately I just feel bored. I’m just getting bored with the same thing – not that things would necessarily change if I lived somewhere else, unless I move across the seas. It’s just the same Christmas that comes every year, it’s the same holidays that come every year, and the whole routine of it is just boring. Which made me think maybe I was a final focus. Would that be?

ELIAS: That is not necessarily an indicator of a final focus. That is a misunderstanding.
There are many individuals that are a final focus that incorporate that type of expression, but that is associated with their beliefs. That is associated with beliefs concerning reincarnation, that if they are the final focus, they have repeated over and over and now they are fatigued. They have not repeated over and over. You each incorporate one focus of attention in this physical dimension, and once disengaging, you move to other expressions. But I would express that your boredom is more associated with familiarity and being upon this threshold of new challenges, new adventures and new explorations, and generating in increments but nevertheless generating more and more curiosity concerning new movements.

TERRI: And other possibilities.

ELIAS: Correct.

TERRI: It’s almost like the boredom is giving me permission.

ELIAS: And motivating.

TERRI: That’s kind of cool.

I guess I’ve had several men going out of my life lately, which I’ve been perfectly happy with. I think I like my individuality too much. (Elias laughs) I really enjoyed being with Jeff, and when I was driving up here I remembered spending time with him, but I like driving by myself. I like somebody making a comment about my car and saying, “It’s all mine. I did it by myself.” I’m wondering if maybe that’s like battling against wanting somebody.

ELIAS: No. This is also associated with image. It is not necessarily that you do not want to engage a relationship, but you want to engage a relationship and also engage yourself, which...

TERRI: (Laughs) Yes, but is that possible?

ELIAS: Yes! It is possible.

TERRI: I felt it worked that way with Jeff, but almost that he was too much that way also, so we couldn’t quite make it work. I need somebody that’s not so much the same as me, like they give a little and let me be. But I can feel lately that I like being able to go when I want to go and not feel like the lady who is not going on the ski trip with us now because of her husband’s birthday. When something like that happens, I can feel it inside of me going how dare he keep her from being who she is! So, I know that that’s my truth.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: If she really wanted to go, she would have gone. But I could feel that, so I was wondering if maybe these feelings were preventing me from attracting somebody.

ELIAS: No. They are somewhat preventing you from drawing to you an individual that would, in your perception, incorporate too much demanding.

TERRI: Right. Which is good, because I don’t want that. (Laughs)

ELIAS: Correct.

TERRI: Then with Francisco, I think we have this game going on. It’s interesting, because I did this to another guy who would be like, “Well, I’ll call you later,” and if they don’t call, then I would just cut him off. That other guy said, “That wasn’t my perception of it at all. Sorry you see it that way.” So with Francisco, I was looking at it and I was like whoa, why am I doing that? I looked at it as practice, because we keep this thing going but we haven’t gotten back together again. I think part of it’s because I don’t really want to see him unless we’re going to have sex, so I’ve kind of kept the conversation going until he’s done with his 40 day challenge of his own. (Laughs) When everything gets back to so-called normal, I’ll create seeing him again. I think it’s interesting that I’ve kept this going so long, because it’s taken a lot of being aware of my truths to even keep him calling. So, that’s been kind of cool. Am I on the right track?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: Yes. I’m trying to have fun with it and look at it as practice and playing with different ways. Even in yoga class today when she kept picking on me, it was starting to irritate me and I thought maybe she’s doing it because I’m new and she thinks that I’ll listen to her. Maybe her students weren’t as open to comments. Then I thought I’d like a comment, and I could feel myself starting to force it. I started concentrating on the pose, and then I got the comment. So, I’ve been trying to take these different situations and play with them more and have more fun with them. It’s so hard! (Laughs)

ELIAS: But you are accomplishing, and you are generating significant movement, and I am acknowledging.

TERRI: Of course the other thing, the other part that I always have a problem with is money. I’m creating so much trouble trying to get my taxes done. I’ve never had such a problem making myself sit down. I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like all this information is in so many different places that I can’t get it together. I’m trying to concentrate more on generating than acquiring, and it’s going better, because I have a lot of stuff happening. But I can also feel my own fear of I’ve got these listings but what if I can’t sell them. I’m thinking it’s like all kind of battling each other.

ELIAS: And interconnected.

TERRI: Right, which made me glad my phone broke when I came up here so I wouldn’t get any calls.

ELIAS: Yes, precisely. And notice the concentration upon lack: interrupt it. Incorporate an action to interrupt it, not merely thinking.

TERRI: What would be a good action? Spending more money? (Laughs)

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Generate an action that is fun. Playing with your creature, incorporate a walk – a physical action that distracts your attention from lack.

TERRI: I did it so well with my body. I’m so happy now with my figure and my weight. It’s perfect. I keep trying to go back to how did I make that happen, because I can’t seem to translate how I made that happen with my body to money. Part of the problem is I think the money’s not in my control and I think that my body is in my control. That’s part of it. How do I translate how I did that to over here? I know how easy it can be, and it’s like I can’t get it over here.

ELIAS: Interrupt the concentration upon lack and acquiring.

I would also express a suggestion in association with you not to be moving in the expression of spending more. That may be a successful avenue for some individuals in interrupting their concentration upon lack and encouraging themselves to concentrate upon what they have, but in relation to you, that emphasizes the lack. For what you incorporate in association, if you generate that action, is discounting yourself: I already lack and now I am generating myself in more lack and not being responsible. Therefore, you merely perpetuate discounting yourself, and it does not accomplish the desired effect.

TERRI: So what will?

ELIAS: Generating other actions that are not associated with money, distracting yourself with other actions that are not associated with money.

TERRI: It’s hard, because I have to think about acquiring, the way I’m looking at it, acquiring with my business. I have to get listings to create the commissions, and I’m wondering if that’s interfering with trying to generate...

ELIAS: Pay attention to the process that you engage in your business in each step, and do not concentrate upon the outcome. You have already set the outcome. It is not necessary to concentrate upon that. You already know what you want. Pay attention to what you are doing, and pay attention to the process.

TERRI: And whether the steps are making me feel like I’m following my process or not?

ELIAS: Yes. Pay attention to what you are doing in your process and how much time you incorporate dwelling upon the outcome while you are engaging the process, for that creates hindrance. You create obstacles for yourself by concentrating upon the outcome.

TERRI: Like what I can sell or not sell.

ELIAS: Correct, rather than paying attention to what you are doing in your process and what type of energy you are projecting. If you are doubting and questioning and worrying or anticipating and projecting futurely, you can be, many times, generating an opposing energy, which hinders your movement and creates obstacles in relation to the success.

TERRI: Like when I concentrate on networking events. Part of my process, I think, is getting in front of people and trusting that if I get in front of people I will meet the right people, which will generate the right opportunities. I remember being in that frame of mind before. So more along that line?

ELIAS: Yes, and remember this is associated with image also.

TERRI: Right, because I need to be doing certain things and looking a certain way. A lot of times I’ll tell people that mostly I work from bed, which is true, but I think that I’m probably discounting myself at the same time, thinking that that’s not what I should be doing. I probably should stop saying that. In recognizing my truths to get the success that I want, I probably also need to operate more within them. I know saying that is going against my truth, saying that out loud. Like it might be true, but I don’t need to portray that to everybody else.

ELIAS: Working within the framework of your truths is.

TERRI: But saying that I work from bed, that’s not working with them.

ELIAS: Correct. That would be an expression of opposing yourself and discounting yourself, for you are projecting an opposing energy of devaluing image.

TERRI: Okay, I’ve got that.

As far as my kids, I’m trying to let Curtis go. I’ve realized recently that paying all his bills and doing all these things, that I’m holding on to him. His parking pass is expiring, and I keep wanting to buy another one. I realize that that’s a choice, but to me it’s also a way of holding on to him, and I need to let him go. The other one’s got a job now, finally. I thought it was interesting that all of his stuff was gone, his birth certificate, his social security card. He called the state and says the state has no record of him. Is that imagery of trying to create that he doesn’t exist? Or what was I doing there?

ELIAS: Impressions?

TERRI: Well, I think that I probably should’ve just had one kid, because two is way overwhelming! I perceive him as making my life a pain in the ass at home and wishing he wasn’t there – not that he was dead or something, but not in the house.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

TERRI: Losing his birth certificate and his social security card was imagery to me of my wish of him not being there.

ELIAS: Correct. And do not discount yourself. This is your perception, and this is also associated with this truth of image. Although it may be an expression that you do not necessarily like, it is not for you to devalue yourself or discount yourself, that you are bad that you express this wish.

TERRI: (Emotionally) Talking about what we were talking about before, recognizing that family is stopping me from my choices, I just don’t know how to get past that, because I just hate going home.

ELIAS: (Quietly) This is your new adventure.

TERRI: Figuring that out?

ELIAS: To explore your own choices. As I have expressed to you, it is not your obligation or responsibility, and that family is not a snare. It is not binding you.

TERRI: Because society...

ELIAS: But it is not. You generate harshness with yourself in carrying such obligation. Perhaps generating gentleness with yourself in listening to you and what you want and offering yourself the permission to explore, that may be much more beneficial and satisfying.

TERRI: I think I’ve started going that direction.

ELIAS: Yes, and I am greatly acknowledging.

TERRI: So, just keep going that on path?

ELIAS: Release obligation, release regret, release guilt. These members of your household within you are crowding you. Therefore, this member of obligation and this member of regret and this member of guilt, perhaps it is necessary to serve eviction. (Chuckles)

TERRI: I agree. That would be nice. I’m still working on that. (Both laugh) I did want to get their names, their essence names and their orientation.

ELIAS: And what are your impressions?

TERRI: Curtis, I’m thinking maybe he’s intermediate or soft, because he seems to keep everything inside.

ELIAS: Intermediate.

TERRI: I don’t really have an impression of his name.

ELIAS: (Pause) Essence name, Delphaine, D-E-L-P-H-A-I-N-E (DELL fane).

TERRI: Then Alan. I think he’s probably common.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: And I don’t really have an impression of his name, either.

ELIAS: (Pause) Essence name, Marrchi, M-A-R-R-C-H-I (MARCH ee).

TERRI: I was thinking of other names, and I came up with the name Stella Kane. I was kind of using it as an image thing and thinking what was she doing. I was wondering, is that another focus of mine? Or is this just something that I came up with?

ELIAS: Yes, another focus.

TERRI: I read a transcript and somebody asked you if there was another focus that they could ask for help, and then this name came to me. Would this be a focus that can help me?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: How? Do you do this more in the dream state?

ELIAS: You can, and you can also incorporate visualization, but in visualizations do not manipulate. Allow what you receive, and do not discount what you receive as imagined.

TERRI: Is this a focus that’s in this time period?

ELIAS: This would be a future focus.

TERRI: Oh! Have we known each other before?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: Shall I investigate myself? (Laughs)

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: How did I know you were going to say that! (Both laugh) Can you sense that my energy is calmer this time?

ELIAS: Yes, and more confident and somewhat more allowing.

TERRI: Good. (Both laugh) I hear you in my head all day long, but I figure all we have is every moment to practice in, so why not? People that I talk to, we were talking about something, not judging or something, and they said, “It’s so hard.” It’s like all you have is every minute to practice, so why not at least try? I think people make so many things seem impossible. We get so caught up in that.

ELIAS: Or overwhelming.

TERRI: I definitely do that. (Both laugh) As usual, it’s a pleasure. I’m glad I did it this way, without all the notes and just letting it flow.

ELIAS: And being more relaxed and spontaneous.

TERRI: Yes! (Elias laughs) We will see you tomorrow.

ELIAS: And so we shall.

TERRI: Thank you very much.

ELIAS: You are very welcome. In great friendship and tremendous appreciation of you, au revoir.

TERRI: Au revoir.

(Elias departs after 57 minutes.)

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Copyright 2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.