Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Alicia (Tisara)

Elias’ arrival time is two seconds.

ELIAS: Good morning!

ALICIA: Good morning, how are you?

ELIAS: As always and yourself?

ALICIA: (Laughs) It’s so funny, I was saying to myself, you know, the one thing I’m not going to do when I get on the phone with Elias, I’m not going to say how’re you doing? (Laughs and Elias cracks up) Because of course, I knew what the answer’s going to be, but I did that anyway. (Elias cracks up) I do want to say that I’ve missed talking with you objectively, I’m so happy to be interacting with you, right now. (Elias chuckles) Before we begin, I had a quick question from Opan, and he wants basically, a yes or no because he’s sweet enough to say he doesn’t want to interfere with my time, and he said, anything else, you know, about it you guys can talk about it in Vermont.

ELIAS: Very well.

ALICIA: Okay, so his question is, are his impressions correct about Jessanna’s health conditions not being cancer or anything leading toward her disengagement, but it’s imagery of irritation within the restrictions that they are placing upon the expression of their underlying desires.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay and, this is a tool that they’re both using in moving through their issues and the fears that they addressed to in their last session.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Plus it’s a tool for bringing more clarity to those desires to be strengthening their movements.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay, he was pretty sure but he wanted your verification. All right, well, he’ll be happy about that. Now, I’m sitting here and I’ve got like four pages of notes, (Laughs) so if I don’t get to something I’ll just know that I’ll make another appointment with Mary. But what I want to do I think, is start out with asking a few quick questions that might require a simple yes or no response from you, and then when that’s all done with, we can get into a more meaty dialogue, all right? (Elias cracks up)

ELIAS: Very well!

ALICIA: Okay, first question is, was that you lending me energy or cooperative energy between the two of us when I was on my computer talking to Opan about the series of workshops that we’re trying to coordinate, and I suddenly got an instant e-mail that said ”Reckon message from Elias”.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Was that you being cooperative with ME, or you just lending me energy?

ELIAS: Offering energy.

ALICIA: Okay, and was that you also lending me energy last Spring when I dreamt that I was watching this guy who was supposed to be my boyfriend on TV, and in the dream his name was Wyatt Cooper, but he looked like Wyatt’s son Anderson Cooper who is a CNN anchorman, and he was providing a public media test, the French language and when he left the studio and he was wearing his blue shoes with upturned toes?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Good, well I appreciate that because I was very depressed then I remember. Now I was MIGHTY upset, which was an interesting thing for me to observe about myself that I got my focus wrong about being St. Theresa of Avila and I felt so certain and then of course I felt like I was wrong, but I got over it and as I continue our game of finding our 16th century Spanish focus I’m picking myself up and I’m ready to begin anew, BUT, since I struck out three times, I need some help in varying my search, therefore I want to know is this focus male?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Is this famous 16th century Spanish focus involved in the field of architecture or a humanitarian who worked with the Indians?

ELIAS: Architecture.

ALICIA: Architecture, was he a close associate of King Philip the II?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And is he readily located on the internet?

ELIAS: Most likely, yes.

ALICIA: Okay, so can I take a stab? I feel like I’m playing ”What’s my Secret”. (Elias cracks up) I’m gonna be Kitty Carlisle. (Laughs) How about Juan de Herrera?

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: Ahhh! (Elias cracks up) Okay, I got it, I got it! All right, now, next question, regarding my future focus, which we have talked about who I can access to be helpful in my current movement, last time we spoke, you explained to me that she was from another planet, but in this dimension, so is she in this galaxy or another one? (Pause)

ELIAS: This galaxy.

ALICIA: This galaxy, okay, and was that her in this dream I had not too long ago where this woman who looked older than me, had black hair in a tight little bun, and she was being a supervisor of an insurance company trying to help unconfuse me, but she could only form her words in communication with me by sucking on this electrical extension cord.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And was there some meaning behind this imagery in terms of her true physicality? Because what I translated to myself was that she had to do this because of weak muscles in her jaw or something.

ELIAS: Different mode of communication.

ALICIA: That requires an extension cord? (Laughs)

ELIAS: No, this is a translation.

ALICIA: Right, that’s why I’m laughing.

ELIAS: For, this mode of communication is more electrical.

ALICIA: Okay, that they do with each other or that she provides when talking to me?

ELIAS: No; that they engage in communication with each other.

ALICIA: Okay, and I’m assuming, since I translated it incorrectly, she looked pretty humanoid in the dream, is her appearance humanoid?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay, is her name Embrulina?

ELIAS: Yes. (Alicia squeals)

ALICIA: Does she have an expertise or a talent on her planet?

ELIAS: It would be associated with a type of engineering.

ALICIA: Ah, okay. Does she know of me or is aware of me pretty distinctly, or is her experience of me more like my experience of her which is more, vague?

ELIAS: She incorporates more clarity in association with you.

ALICIA: So why is she drawn to me in terms of being helpful?

ELIAS: An interest in the history of the movement of the Shift and connecting with another focus that is open to allowing that engaging.

ALICIA: You know, this is so funny to me because it just goes to show how I just caught myself because that was my first reaction, way back this summer, and I thought, ‘No!’, (Elias cracks up) you’re confirming it so, shut my mouth! (Elias laughs) Now she also has said she has a connection with you, and I’ll tell you what my translation was of it, and again it’s, like ’No’, so I’m just going to say it’s a translation and I’ll be open to complete distortion; but what I pictured is she’s like a teaching assistant.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.

ALICIA: Is it close enough for jam?

ELIAS: Yes. (Alicia laughs)

ALICIA: Is her connection with you, in a way of speaking, that’ll teach me something, that was your actual essence in terms of how I interact with a teaching assistant, or is it a more physical one with another focus of yours possibly?

ELIAS: More associated with a physical focus.

ALICIA: Okay. So that’s one of the focuses that we share that I asked you before on and you said something like twelve?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Now, all right now, the other question I have, do I have some kind of connection with this person named Rachel Dratch of Saturday Night Live?

ELIAS: Counterpart.

ALICIA: And recently, as in last weekend, I had a strange but almost indescribable moment after I was meditating, in the afternoon when I came downstairs to play with my daughter, and as we were playing and I was enjoying my interactions with Connie Rachel, I had this sharp reaction or noticing of this woman named Gretchen who had died recently, and I wasn’t exactly thinking about her, but I don’t know what I was doing or experiencing specifically, but it felt like, I don’t know, it was a feeling I actually can’t describe; which is why I’m talking to you about this, it was sort of like an altered state, but not exactly, and I’m sitting there thinking this is coming from a woman who last time talked with you and claimed that she wasn’t capable of altered states or making perceptual shifts, (Elias cracks up) Here it is; in April or March and I’m asking about this, can you shed some light on this?

ELIAS: (Chuckles) and do you incorporate any impressions?

ALICIA: Well the first thing I was wondering is what was … I know about energy deposits, it doesn’t seem like it would be an energy deposit, because she’s never been in my house from back in childhood. And I almost felt like I was back in this house where I took piano lessons, and how I knew her was, the piano teacher’s son was her boyfriend at the time and she was oftentimes over there. But again, it didn’t really feel like I was remembering or had a memory; it was really kind of a ‘Whoooo!’ (Laughs)

ELIAS: This is associated with your allowance in openness, in which you can experience other energies as they pass through layers of consciousness. And it is more easily accessed in association with individuals that you objectively know in some capacity. Eventually you may be allowing yourself to experience the movement of energy of individuals that you do not objectively know as an acquaintance but that you can distinguish the difference of the energy from your own, and different types of movement from the energy; especially that movement of energy through layers of consciousness.

ALICIA: Okay and that would be my consciousness when you’re talking about layers, or in general?

ELIAS: In general.

ALICIA: So, it wasn’t that she was necessarily interacting with me in her energy, but I was just picking up on it?

ELIAS: Yes, and the movement of it.

ALICIA: And the movement, and when you say the movement of it; it was moving, just moving (pause) you know, after disengagement?

ELIAS: That is the movement that you experienced.

ALICIA: It was the …

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, that movement is a type of thrust of energy.

ALICIA: Oh, okay.

ELIAS: For it is moving through layers of consciousness, from one layer through other layers.

ALICIA: Oh, okay.

ELIAS: And in that it creates a type of thrust of energy, therefore, in a manner of speaking it could be likened to standing, and experiencing a thrust of energy from a jet engine.

ALICIA: Right, okay, that makes perfect sense to me. Thank you.

ELIAS: You are welcome.

ALICIA: Now I have some yes or no questions regarding my essence Tisara. Does she have, or he, I’m not sure which it is, have a preference in this dimension of creating soft focuses?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: More female than male?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And residing in Japan, India and England?

ELIAS: Many.

ALICIA: Many in Japan, India and England?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And does my essence like the combination of Tumold and Sumafi? Although obviously there have been choices of other families, for variety, but that’s kind of a preference?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: I know that Tisara is a translation of tone, but I found that name on the internet, because you know I love to go searching on the internet to get all my research, and I found the name Tisara associated with the three refuges in the three jewels in Buddhism, so I’m wondering if that has some significance in the connections to the energy of Tisara.

ELIAS: A similar energy.

ALICIA: In what way is it similar?

ELIAS: Similar to the energy of the jewels.

ALICIA: And is there a description of the energy of the jewels?

ELIAS: It would be somewhat difficult to actually define in language, but you can offer yourself information in engaging your inner sense of conceptualization.

ALICIA: Okay, so in other words, I can probably pretty much focus on this and figure this out myself. (Elias cracks up) It would be worth it, somewhat similar.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay, which is something I’ve kinda been doing, and I know that the three jewels, or not the three jewels but the three refuges have to do with the Buddha, the community of Buddhists and the knowledge; and I sort of feel like it’s something that I’m involving myself in at this moment.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: In terms of the knowledge which is the information that you’re sharing with so many people and sort of passing it on in terms of my intent of wanting to be more visible in helping other people.

ELIAS: I am understanding that the combination of these expressions generates a certain quality of the energy; that is what is a similarity.

ALICIA: Okay, and speaking of; what I was wondering, if you could give me a brief description of my natural energy flow? And the reason I’m asking that is because one of the things that I’ve been focusing on is observing myself when I’m not agitated, when I’m really content and happy, and then I’m noticing when I become defensive or when I become agitated. So I was just thinking maybe …

ELIAS: And what is your assessment?

ALICIA: Ah, my assessment! Well, my assessment is, and I hate using this word, but somebody, Awan said this, and I thought yeah there’s like a sweetness, but that kind of implies affection and I know that that’s not necessarily a true description, but there is something, I want to say (Whispers) kind.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Very kind, in my interactions.

ELIAS: Yes, and caring.

ALICIA: And caring, yes.

ELIAS: But those also at times create an instigating of the reverse.

ALICIA: (Cracks up) Yeah, you could say that.

ELIAS: For at times you discount your own kindness or caring, or you express it in a manner in which you perceive to be overly so, and that generates a discounting of yourself also.

ALICIA: Right, how I express it to myself is that I kind of am so kinda sweet, that I feel like people are taking advantage of me, then I just kind of go in reverse, and sort of shut down, and I’m not kind but maybe a little critical and bitter.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ALICIA: Is that similar to what you’re saying?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay.

ELIAS: For you may allow yourself to express kindness and caring in whatever measure you choose and that does not necessarily generate the response of other individuals taking advantage of …

ALICIA: Right, that’s my own creation.

ELIAS: That occurs for you are generating an association with personal responsibility, and also you generate an association that too much kindness or caring is not good, it is excessive.

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: And in that, you open yourself to the reflection of taking advantage.

ALICIA: Mhm. Okay. So, talking about my energy is there any other, is there a description of my energy that I am not paying attention to that if you gave me some words it would help me be more aware of other parts of myself that are maybe less expressing themselves, but lying in wait?

ELIAS: Not actually, for whatever may be ’lying in wait’, in your terms is expressed in that manner for a reason. For it is, you may not be ready to address to certain elements or you may not be ready to be challenging yourself with certain directions or addressing to certain elements of yourself. In this, it is more a matter of paying attention to what you are engaging now, and what information you are offering to yourself now, for that is what you can assimilate.

ALICIA: All right, that makes perfect sense to me. You’re talking about …

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay, I grasp that. Currently, just how strong is the probability of success within my efforts to create workshops with people; the Elias material that I have introduced myself to this past year?

ELIAS: A very strong potential.

ALICIA: What I see even now is incredible potential personally.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And it’s going to really create imagery that’s going to help me address some issues that I’m wanting to address.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And that will be very beneficial, what about professionally as well?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Well that’s cool, I like that! Kill two birds with one stone as they say. (Both laugh)

ALICIA: Okay, oh, I have one other quick question before we ‘move to the meat’, which is last year, this is almost a year anniversary of last year, the first time I spoke to you was March 19th, no March 15th, and last March the thing that I presented to you about, was this relationship that I was interested in pursuing. There was friendliness but I wanted something more and you had discussed with me expectations and pushing and finding my balance and everything and I think that I grasped all that; so I just got involved with other things and realized that I really need to have a relationship with myself, and had actually, I think, engaged in this with a lot of affection, and feeling like I’m not necessarily selling myself short by not having a relationship with anybody else. However, periodically, this person keeps entering my dreams and I’m not even thinking about them during the day, and I pretty much dismiss them as being a part of my life. Until, then I have a dream about them or we’ve connected in some way. So I guess I’m trying to figure out why I’m creating these dreams, if I think that this is over and done with and I’ve accepted this choice of not becoming involved.

ELIAS: It is merely imagery to provide you with a sense of satisfaction so to speak. For this is also a probable reality that you have created and in that you allow yourself to generate the imagery concerning the probable reality which offers you a satisfaction in recognition that you have generated two choices simultaneously and are comfortable with both.

ALICIA: Wow that is cool! (Elias chuckles) So, what, it’s like there’s the probability and then there’s the choice of inserting it into this reality and just because, if I choose not to insert it into this reality doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: And I suppose whether or not I decide to insert it is up to me, that’s my choice.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: But isn’t it also the choice of the other person?

ELIAS: That probable reality continues whether you choose to move in that direction also or not.

ALICIA: Okay. Now, I guess what I want to mull over with you is, since the last time we spoke, I feel like I’ve sort of picked up the pace in my movement, and I want to give you my impressions, and then see if you have any additional comments. The Chicago Group Session was a really intense turning point for me and my shifting, I think, to the point that I almost want to call my life in 2005 PC and AC, prior to Chicago and after Chicago, (Elias cracks up) I feel quite a bit more confident and not so agitated. I feel like in terms of my allowance and my acceptance of things, although I’m not perfect in them are much more there, have increased, and I also think that understanding, and I’m paying attention to myself more in terms of my beliefs more than I have ever done before.

ELIAS: I would agree.

ALICIA: And so I think being more adept in noticing certain things about me, one of the things that I noticed is that I have touched an extreme where I feel really stable and content, and then I feel incredibly uncomfortably intense and kind of stressed out or feeling under pressure. And I don’t know if you have anything to say about that, but what I did with that when I noticed that is I’ve also been using my dreams a lot, and have been using that experience I was just telling you about with some dream imagery that I’ve had recently and these are the conclusions that I’ve come up with, so far: is that it dawned on me that up to this point I really overemphasized my thinking to the point where I’ve sort of twisted the concept of what thoughts are and have been using them up to this point, up until this realization, more as an avenue of communication rather than a translator.

But then I feel more balanced when I just allow myself to do, without necessarily combining it with this excessive chatter of constant and opinionated, running commentary.

Last night I was thinking about this and I came up with the term diarrhea of the mind, which is better than the mouth. (Elias cracks up). People would say you talk too much you have diarrhea of the mouth. I’ve always noticed that up until this point I’ve noticed I’ve had this running commentary about when I’m thinking about my actions and this became so clear to me, I had a very interesting dream, that involved Jim Carey where I was involved in improv and there were two distinct scenes and it almost seemed like they were choices because there was, even though there were two distinct scenes, I was doing the same thing, I was wearing the same clothes etc. In the first one I was being very, just participating, just doing the improv and I was having great success and to the point where Mel Brooks came backstage and said ‘Will you come to New York and become a member of my comedy troupe because you’ve not had any training yet seem such a natural?’

And then I went back and I had an ex-boyfriend in the second scene where he was standing either backstage or in the audience, and I was being aware of his thoughts and so I was responding to his thoughts which were probably my thoughts. Thinking ‘Oh, I’m not doing this right, I can’t seem to do this’. And I noticed that when I was doing that, all of a sudden I was less effective or efficient then actually performing and doing, so, what I try to do now at work is just do whatever I choose to do, and just get into the action of it rather than always analyzing it.

ELIAS: I may express a tremendous acknowledgment to you. For you have offered yourself considerable information, and quite accurately and you are now moving in the direction that I have been expressing for quite some time framework. Paying attention to what you are doing.

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: And that it is not necessary and many times is not efficient to be generating analyzation of all that you are doing. And becoming SO attentive to THOUGHT that you are not paying attention to what you are actually doing. And therefore you are also not paying attention to how you are directing yourself.

ALICIA: Right, right.

ELIAS: Which does not allow you to intentionally direct yourself for you are continuously distracted in paying attention to thought. Which does not change what you are doing, for thought does not create your reality.

ALICIA: I’ll still be doing what I’m doing, but it will be, I almost want to say it would be less of an experience, I’ll be moving more in thickness, I feel like when I’ve allowed myself to do that, where I’ve just been doing and not considered analyzing whatever, I feel so much more heightened.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And more joyous.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: More buoyant, I have more energy.

ELIAS: AND more empowered

ALICIA: I am more empowered, exactly, that is why I feel more joyous.

ELIAS: Yes!

ALICIA: And so I guess that’s the efficiency.

ELIAS: Yes, for in that, you ARE paying attention to directing yourself. You are not distracting yourself with endless thought that creates more of a difficulty in doing, for in generating that, although many individuals express the association that if they are thinking continuously, they are generating more clarity, not necessarily.

ALICIA: Right, oh that was my belief.

ELIAS: For in generating excessive thought, you actually create a type of fog.

ALICIA: Mhm, that’s so true, when you say fog that …

ELIAS: That generates more difficulty in you expressing the ability to actually SEE what you are doing, for you are clouded.

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: Whereas, if you are incorporating thought as the mechanism that is, merely as a translator or an interpreter, this allows you to generate more balance, in which you can incorporate thought as a clarifying glass rather than a foggy glass.

ALICIA: Right. So like what happens to my glasses when I go from a really humid outdoor and into air conditioning or whatever it is, they fog up.

ELIAS: Correct, for you are moving from one extreme to another.

ALICIA: Ahhh! Very good! All right. The other thing that became a moment of noticing is one day I was really overcome with how scattered that I feel and how I feel like when it happens I’m under tremendous pressure and I get stressed out, and I feel totally disorganized. And so I was trying to get a handle on that and it was actually while I was preparing for this session. Suddenly I had this thought that I wasn’t sure if that was me or if it was you lending, I guess some support and energy, or whatever but it became such a clear sentence suddenly that said that my ‘scattered experience is a signal that I need to be more now focused rather than future focused’.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: And that’s the message behind the doorbell ringing, and I keep feeling the scattered pressure, stress, whatever about not finishing things, not getting enough accomplished, because I’m just up until this point, I’m just listening to the doorbell, and I haven’t heard the message that says ‘This is to help you move to now’.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: So these I think are two of my most common automatic responses that I’ve had, so I think my new buzz phrases these days are (1) experience nothing, and (2) take a break and be in the now.

So that when worries come up or I feel disorganized and scattered what I, and I sort of stumbled upon this, it felt like one weekend where I will try to plan some playtime with my kids, playing video games or board games or card games or whatever because I can do that without thinking and also it helps restore me so much; I feel the now.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And it’s almost like a stop point for me to regroup.

ELIAS: And be present.

ALICIA: And be present and then move on as opposed to just getting caught up and spinning my wheels.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: All right, the other thing I’ve been focused on is really is this idea of belief, and I’m at a point now where I think, where I’ve turned a corner, you said something about doing the appreciation exercise, and I asked you but what’s going on now in my life, you know, what are my beliefs that make me feel so oppositional and so full of conflict, whatever and you had said ‘age and accomplishment’ are two beliefs and we were going to talk about it later, and I sort of feel like I’m ready to talk about them now, so that means I’ve turned a corner.
The only thing is that I think the thing that frustrates me is that I always feel like when I get a belief I’m not very specific, and I’ll give you an example:

One of the things that dawned on me, and I call a spade a spade, as my mother used to say, where I realize now that I still believe that people create my reality, and I actually do not believe yet, in the concept. Well, I mean I believe it as a concept but it has not become really officially a part of me yet.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ALICIA: And that this makes me uncertain about my strength and my power to influence my want. Now I don’t know if that’s specific enough or being too general when you try to identify your beliefs.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ALICIA: I thought I would raise that, is that, do I need to become more specific with that?

ELIAS: Not necessarily, but you notice the influences of that, to notice how many directions and expressions that influences within your experiences. For it does not allow you to fully empower yourself and experience your own freedom in knowing that you ARE directing and that you ARE creating ALL of your reality EVERY MOMENT, every other individual, every encounter, whatever occurs within your reality you have created.

Now this is not to say that you do not participate with other individuals, for you do, but you participate with their energy. And how you participate and what you actually GENERATE physically is your choice.

Individuals become confused for they concern themselves with the question ‘what about the other individual?’ Are they not also creating? Yes, they are.

The point is that you are so perfectly, so precisely creating your reality, that every other individual that you interact with, you have specifically drawn to you rather than any other individual that you could have drawn to you, you have drawn each individual in each moment specifically, for they shall reflect you the most precisely.

ALICIA: All right, let me give you an example that if I understand this maybe it will help me accept this as less than a theory and more of this is how it really goes.

I have noticed over the last few years that I find a perfect job and then the director leaves. I had this job where I loved; I thought it was perfect. It was at another alternative school and this person that was the director, I felt incredibly connected to and it was just a joy to come to work every day. She left and then we kept having a series of new directors and then eventually that program folded.

Now I’m in a setting where it’s still an alternative school but the director is incredibly controlling, incredibly doubtful and always has to be kind of micro-managing and checking up on me and I think to myself it feels; and for a flash, like it’s something being done and to me but again I know intellectually that I’m creating this and so I’m not sure why that is; except to offer me information about how, through challenge, I can empower myself which is my desire.

ELIAS: And to be directing of yourself. In these two scenarios what you are presenting to yourself are avenues in different capacities, to be directing of yourself and the empowerment of that in the first scenario, you draw to yourself an individual that is inspiring.

ALICIA: Right, and trusting of me.

ELIAS: I’m understanding, but rather than taking the example that you have specifically drawn to yourself, and incorporating that within yourself, in reinforcing your own direction of yourself, directing yourself in your own movement…

ALICIA: Mhm.

ELIAS: You present another scenario to yourself in which you present an individual almost in the reverse.

(Alicia tries to interject but Elias continues)

But the presentment is associated with the same subject; in a manner of speaking there two sides of the same coin.

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: For it is being presented in different manners but associated with the same subject matter of you directing you. Not either of the other individuals directing you but you directing you.

ALICIA: I guess I’m trying to understand; is the second scenario a way to get me to directing myself because I keep experiencing unpleasantness at being directed by somebody else?

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: So it’s like a challenge.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.

ALICIA: And the other thing that I wondered about was you know, everybody loved the first director, nobody can stand the second director, and I’m wondering again if I put myself and created both these scenarios to get the point that you’re more effective when you direct yourself than when you direct other people.

ELIAS: Correct and also to not be focusing your attention and concerning yourself with the other individual.

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: You incorporate a considerable volume of time focusing upon the other individual and what the other individual is doing and how they are expressing and how they are behaving.

ALICIA: In terms of my feeling irritated at them?

ELIAS: Yes!

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: Rather than paying attention to what YOU are doing and how you are directing yourself, or how you are not, how you are allowing the influence of the other individual to be affecting of what you are expressing.

ALICIA: Aha! So I think about the situation where I’m caught up in the irritation and I’m not willing to go beyond the irritation to get the message.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: And so, hopefully if I get that message, the doorbell will stop ringing a little bit? (Elias laughs)

ELIAS: The message is concerning directing.

ALICIA: You know I had an interesting experience with her where last year I was completely acquiescing and you know, doing my own thing, but then when she would come and quake in reaction.

A few weeks ago she came out and was telling me what I need to do, and saying I need you to come and bla bla bla, I stood up and I said, ‘You know, this is what I think I want to do, I want to see the Mom and the kid without you because there’s some things that I want to talk to them about privately, and then when we’re done you can come in’.

And she said ‘Okay’ (Elias chuckles) and I was like, ‘Wow I guess I can do that! (Elias cracks up) I don’t have to be as scared!

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: To say something, if they were going to fire me because …

ELIAS: It is a matter of YOU directing YOU rather than concerning yourself with the other individual and focusing your attention in a concentrated manner upon the other individual, and how they express, and how they behave and the choices they engage; it matters not. What matters are your choices, and what YOU are doing …

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: And remember, acquiescing is another expression of opposition.

ALICIA: Yeah, right, Michael and I had an interesting conversation about that before I was talking with you just now. So, actually my choice, what I’m getting a sense of is as we’re talking, is that my choice, as opposed to saying I’m a victim where these wonderful jobs have ‘left’ me, I’ve actually chosen to move, to harbor because what that experience is doing is anchoring for me this concept which is sort of pivotal to the shift. And if I’m choosing to be a major player in the shift, then this is where I need to be.

ELIAS: Correct. For this is important that this is NOT merely concept but reality, that you ARE directing and dependent upon how you direct, creates an outcome that is favorable or an outcome that is not.

ALICIA: Right and I suppose the same thing is involved when I realize I have a belief that in terms of why I hesitate with putting the flyers out for this workshop or whatever where I feel responsible for other people’s experiences whether they are satisfied with the workshop will be my fault bla, bla, bla … and that kind of not looking to create my own reality but if I’m responsible for other people then again that’s kind of antithetical to that.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And so those two things are going unnoticed and at the same times those two things are pretty similar.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Now the other thing I’m noticing, and again, I think this seems to be a thing that happens to be the most affecting emotionally. This thing I have with money feeling always like I’m going to go into poverty and having checks bounce etc, etc, so I start thinking about I must have some really strong beliefs about money and what eventually dawned on me was that for me, money means freedom.

ELIAS: Many individuals generate this type of an association, which freedom is not expressed with money or without money.

ALICIA: Actually it’s just a piece of paper.

ELIAS: Correct. And what is more to the point is not necessarily associated with money but the association of lack.

ALICIA: What influences the associations with lack?

ELIAS: Lack IS the influence.

ALICIA: But why would I choose to express that? The only think I can think of is that it’s somehow connected with the idea that other people create my reality.

ELIAS: Partially, but it is also partially an automatic familiar expression, not merely with money, with time…

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: …with cooperation, with relationships there is an underlying theme of ‘LACK’ PERIOD.


ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: Therefore, generally speaking, the most obvious area in which individuals express lack,that they can obviously view is in association with money. But if you are genuinely evaluating, you shall recognize that it is not merely associated with money, it is an expression of lack in general.

ALICIA: Right.

ELIAS: And you create what you concentrate upon, therefore if your concentration is seated in lack,that is what you shall create. This is the reason that I have expressed the importance of acknowledging what you have and what you ARE doing.

Acknowledging your accomplishments, your success and generating an expression of genuine appreciation of self. For THESE expressions interrupt that concentration upon lack, for you are acknowledging and valuing what you ARE creating, what you DO have. Which allows you, in becoming familiar with that, to move into more of an ease and allows you to genuinely see that freedom is not associated with money.

ALICIA: You know, when you said that I want to tell you that I was giving myself a pat on the back because one of the things I get about it is how can I get away from this association because it’s driving me, and as long as I get caught up in this loop, you know, I need something to kind of free me from this rigid money equals freedom so I said to myself I’m going to go on the internet again (laughs) and look up some famous quotations about freedom as a way of trying to redirect my definition, and what I came up with from reading all of these famous quotations is ‘Freedom is about allowance’.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: ‘Freedom is in knowing who I am at any given time’.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: ‘Freedom is not holding expectations of myself or others’.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: ‘Freedom is in understanding me and what motivates me’.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: ‘Freedom is experiencing fun and that occurs when I just express myself without analyzing me during the expression’.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: So if I just try to focus on that instead of the money, then I’ll see that I do have more freedom.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: So would you acknowledge that as an okay direction for me to move in?

ELIAS: Yes!

ALICIA: And that I need to acknowledge, like for example, when I do allow something, to think of it like me spending money, when I feel free, I can go get a book, or I can go traveling and feel free about this, well, I’m still expressing freedom.

ELIAS: Yes!

ALICIA: I’m not being trapped.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: If I do that will this whole money thing eventually work its way out?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay! Gadz! (Elias chuckles) Well you know I could talk to you for another whole hour, but I think I’m running over my time.

ELIAS: Very well.

ALICIA: But I just want to say that I so appreciate you, I probably say this every time we talk. But the information you’ve given me, I really feel has changed my life for the better so much that I’m so pleased to have the chance to interact with you. (Elias chuckles) And um, that I hopefully will see you in Vermont, I’m working that out.

ELIAS: Very well!

ALICIA: And that I look forward to talking with you again.

ELIAS: And I with you also. And perhaps that depth of appreciation that you express for myself shall eventually be translated into how much you express it with yourself.

ALICIA: (Laughs) I knew you were going to say that! (Elias cracks up) Okay well I’m there, I know what you’re saying, it’s why I was thinking that myself. (Elias laughs) I’m not there yet. (Both laugh) All right, thanks so much Elias!

ELIAS: You are very welcome my dear friend, I express great lovingness to you.

ALICIA: Thank you, same here.

ELIAS: In tremendous affection, in friendship, au revoir.
Session ends after 1:03:35

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Copyright 2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.