Tuesday, January 31, 2006 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Frank (Ulra)

(Elias’ arrival time is unavailable.)

ELIAS: Good morning.

FRANK: Good morning. Well, nice to talk to you again.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) And how is your...

FRANK: [inaudible]...my time.

ELIAS: How is your adventure proceeding?

FRANK: Well, things are better, thanks to Dr. Elias. (Elias laughs) I think things are better, but we’ll talk about that. And how are things in the ether?

ELIAS: As always. (Laughs)

FRANK: Okay. That sounds dull, the way you say it.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Never dull. (Laughs)

FRANK: Well, good. Let me start by asking you about a dream. I actually remembered a dream since we last talked. Let me think about this dream. What happened was that—I don’t remember all the details—but I did something that I wanted to do that I knew somebody wouldn’t want me to do. And then the next thing I know, I was sitting in the living room with a gangster from a TV show, an evil person, so to speak. And he called me in and was sort of putting pressure on me to do what he wanted, so I said I would go along with what he wanted, and I was very afraid of him and that sort of thing.

ELIAS: And your impression?

FRANK: I guess I’m trying to tell myself to not be ruled by my fears, just a lot of what we talked about last time, I’m guessing.

ELIAS: Partially, and also, partially it is imagery that concerns pushing the limits and in doing so, in certain situations, you can overwhelm yourself and reinforce fears.

FRANK: Which is probably a lot of what’s going on now. (Elias laughs) Hmm. Can you maybe elaborate on that a little bit?

ELIAS: And what do you view that you are pushing of limits presently and reinforcing the fear?

FRANK: Well, I’m pushing myself pretty hard with respect to my new company and so that’s the pushing part, right?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRANK: Okay. And, obviously, I’ve been very fearful lately, although I think it’s been better since we talked.

ELIAS: Very well. But you are noticing more.

FRANK: Yeah, well, I was going to talk to you about that. It’s part of what’s on my list as well. I don’t know if I’m noticing more or expressing the fear less or maybe it’s a little bit of both. I don’t know. What do you think?

ELIAS: I would express both.

FRANK: Let’s put it this way—and probably one is the result of the other, but I probably am not noticing; how should I put this?—as well as I could. (Elias laughs) But the very fact that I feel better tells me that things have definitely changed in a positive way since we last talked.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRANK: And I’m happier, so that’s like a good barometer on what’s going on.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRANK: And again, that was part of what I was going to talk to you about is that I think I am focusing less on the future and trying to be more in the now and more trusting of myself. But I still have these relapses, generally when I look at the bank account and see all the cash that I’m spending. (Elias chuckles) It’s like an auto-trigger for me.

ELIAS: (Laughs) And perhaps it is a test.

FRANK: What’s that?

ELIAS: Perhaps it is a test.

FRANK: Ah, okay. So I should try looking at the bank account and staying strong.

ELIAS: Yes, and trusting yourself and not generating the automatic response of apprehension and nervousness.

FRANK: Uh-huh. Be fearless. (Elias chuckles) Well, it’s interesting because I have people that have invested in my company and, as well as, a friend who’s sort of a mentor. He’s my objective world mentor; you’re the subjective. (Elias laughs)

Anyway, and in talking to these people, by and large they’ve advised me, don’t worry about this.

ELIAS: But you continue to do so.

FRANK: Yeah, I know. Why do I do that?

ELIAS: (Chuckles) For you are not trusting yourself and you are viewing situations in absolutes and inevitabilities.

FRANK: You’ll have to explain that because that doesn’t seem right to me. I mean, I don’t know that I feel like anything is inevitable. I have fear of what could happen, but I really think deep down, I’m pretty convinced this is going to work.

ELIAS: I am aware.

FRANK: But what do you mean by inevitability?

ELIAS: But, in that, there are familiar associations. Remember, you are not eliminating your beliefs, and therefore, at times, certain beliefs that you may have been choosing different influences with may be triggered in another time framework in one of the old familiar influences. And in that, if finances are depleting, there becomes this inevitability underlying that that creates a strong potential that you may not incorporate the ability to accomplish. Regardless that you continue to express a strong association with your trust that you shall accomplish, there becomes a conflicting element in that, for you are allowing yourself to concern yourself with certain factors, rather than entirely focusing upon the process and genuinely expressing a trust without doubting yourself. That triggers a familiarity in the inevitability of potentials that may create significant obstacles to prevent you from succeeding. You are stronger in the expression of trusting that you shall succeed, but that is not to say that some of these familiar influences that you have not engaged for a time framework may not surface, for you are generating doubt, and you are distracting yourself and not focusing entirely with the process.

I am acknowledging of you that you are generating more effectively than you were as we spoke in our previous conversation, but as you are aware, you do generate these slips, so to speak, in which you begin to generate that apprehension once again. And in generating that, it allows a window to open in which old familiar associations can somewhat surface. That is not to say that they shall override your trust that you shall accomplish, for that is strong enough that it is not being overridden, but these familiar influences incorporate enough strength to generate somewhat of a confusion and somewhat of a doubt of yourself, which generates an uncomfortableness. It is not preventing you from accomplishing; it is merely generating a thicker energy.

FRANK: Okay, so things are improving, but I still need to improve more.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Pay attention and notice in the moments that you are generating that apprehension and what you are actually doing. And in the moment, noticing what you are actually doing, and what communications you are offering to yourself, allow yourself to stop, and redirect yourself and refocus.

FRANK: Right, which is what you told me last time.

ELIAS: Correct.

FRANK: Well, normally what I’m doing is looking at my bank account.

ELIAS: (Both laugh) Perhaps you may choose to disengage that action temporarily. (Chuckles)

FRANK: Well, or maybe the other way. Maybe I’ll do it and practice not worrying about it.

ELIAS: Yes, being the fearless gladiator, knowing that you shall accomplish (Chuckles) and slay the mad opponent of the finances and the apprehension.

FRANK: Okay. Well, maybe we’ll try that. I’ll try and look at the bank account a few times a day and not be afraid. (Elias chuckles)

Next what I wanted to talk to you about was just general issues that I’m having with employees, and I had talked about the one person last time we spoke. But I have this other employee where I’m having problems, and I had a conversation with her, and there was a lot of disappointment on my part because I really had higher expectations of this person than what was developing.

ELIAS: Which is quite inevitable—you generate the expectations and you set the potential for disappointment.

FRANK: Okay, but let me say that I’d have been disappointed even if I had normal expectations.

ELIAS: The expectations themselves are what create the disappointment, regardless of whether they are more intense expectations or less intense expectations, it matters not. It merely generates different degrees of your disappointment. It is a matter of perceiving in a different manner and generating a cooperation rather than an opposing energy, and expectations are always opposing energies.

I am understanding that in many situations this is a difficult concept for individuals to genuinely understand, for you view in certain situations that expectations are normal and that if you do not incorporate them, how can you accomplish? But you can accomplish more effectively and more efficiently, and with less obstacles and less conflict and less confusion if you are not generating expectations, but rather you are focused upon yourself and allowing yourself to generate cooperation.

This is significant, especially in situations in which you are engaging an employer and an employee in any capacity, for the general expression and the accepted mass association is that an employer incorporates an employee, and automatically generates an expectation of the employee that they shall generate certain tasks in a particular manner and this is the reason that they have been employed.

FRANK: Right.

ELIAS: Therefore, it is quite easy to express that type of association and that type of interaction and not realize that in doing so you are projecting an energy of opposition, and that creates friction, and it creates the set-into-motion for disappointment and for defense and for reflecting opposition, which, as I have expressed previously, that can be expressed in many, many, many forms. And some of which are surfacely camouflaged to the point that you do not even recognize them as being opposing energies.

In certain situations, you do recognize and identify how expectations can be opposing, and you accept that and you pay attention to it. But in other situations, you do not recognize how they are opposing, and they are what may be viewed as truths. They are absolutes. They are not questioned. An employer employs an individual to generate certain tasks and that is the reason that they have been employed, and the employer expects the employee to generate those tasks, and in a particular fashion.

The employee also incorporates expectations that they shall incorporate their tasks, and they shall receive payment. But this does not always create an efficient situation between the individuals, for in not recognizing that the expectations are being expressed and generating them in certain capacities, at times more strongly than others, this sets the potential for the inevitable disappointment, and for other forms or expressions of opposition to be being projected.

The opposition in some situations may be slight enough that the individuals shall allow themselves to comply or compromise, which, as I have stated, that is another form of opposition. But at times, in certain situations, that is less of a conflicting type of opposition than other types of opposition, and although neither individual shall be entirely comfortable with the situation, they shall accept that situation, for although it creates somewhat of a thickness, they are continuing to accomplish. But in other situations, the expectations or the opposition energy may be being projected more strongly. And in that, it creates a larger opportunity for other expressions of opposition and for disappointment. Whereas, if you are altering your perception, and you are engaging the situation in a different manner, and you are generating a cooperative environment, that alters the energy and it becomes a non-threatening environment and, therefore, it is unnecessary for defense or cautiousness with any of the individuals that participate with each other.

But in concentrating your attention upon what the other individual is doing wrong or is not doing well enough, or should—and we are aware that all shoulds are expectations—should be generating more efficiently, more effectively, or better, you are not focusing your attention upon you and how you can creatively generate a cooperative atmosphere and environment with the other individual. You are focusing upon the other individual and what they are doing or not doing. And what is the automatic response to that perception and that type of attention? To move in the direction of instructing or demanding that the other individual change what they are doing or how they are expressing. You can effect changes in what another individual is actually physically doing by altering what you are doing, by altering what you are choosing.

What are you engaging with this other individual that has generated this disappointment?

FRANK: Well, it’s just a case of this person is spending a lot of time on personal issues during work, not being present when they should be, and things like that.

ELIAS: And what are you providing to be motivating? Remember, this business is you. Remember, this company is you. It is a projection of you. Therefore, what you want to accomplish with this business in relation to how you interact with the other individuals that you employ must be translated in a manner in which the other individual is participating with you as being the business. And therefore, you being the business, if the other individual wants to engage this business and participate in it, what is the business—you—offering as motivation for the individual to accomplish in a cooperative manner what you want? If you as the business are not providing the stimulus and the inspiration and the motivation for the individual that you employ, they shall not be focused either.

FRANK: Okay, now let’s stop there. What I’ve always tried to do is to motivate people by largely offering them a lot of autonomy over...trying to put them in positions they’re suited for and offering them a fair amount of autonomy over what they do. A lot of that is, I think, in line with my preferences, which maybe that’s the wrong way to do it, but it’s what I feel most people react best to, is put them in an environment where they’ve got interesting work that they have control over, and don’t have somebody always looking over their shoulder and telling them what to do.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

FRANK: In addition to money, obviously.

ELIAS: I am understanding. And let me express to you that money is not necessarily a motivating factor. It may motivate the individual to physically appear, but it is not necessarily a motivating factor in HOW they accomplish their tasks.

FRANK: I understand that.

ELIAS: And in this, I am understanding and recognizing your association with allowing the other individuals the freedom to engage their tasks in the manner that they wish, but in that also you create an atmosphere in which you are not entirely satisfied. You are expressing to them, here is your area, here is your task, you incorporate the freedom to accomplish that in the manner that is best suited to you, but you also subsequently are disappointed in the manner in which they perform.

Let me express to you, my friend, most individuals—not all—but most individuals incorporate the IDEA that they want to incorporate freedom in a particular manner. Their association with that is that they shall be expressing themselves in whatever manner they want. But most individuals, contrary to that idea, actually function more efficiently and effectively in more of an expression of structure.

FRANK: So you’re saying I don’t give enough structure?

ELIAS: At times, structure, dependent upon the manner in which you express it, allows the other individual to direct themself, as is your preference, but also it generates more of a motivation, for it incorporates less scatteredness.

FRANK: And is that the case with this particular person, that I haven’t provided enough structure?

ELIAS: Partially. And also that structure can be expressed in generating not necessarily rules, but inspirations and motivations.

FRANK: Uh-huh. And I suppose a lot of this is tied up with the other things we’ve talked about today, my other issues.

ELIAS: Yes, for recognize that as you are scattered at times and projecting in concern in different directions and not focusing yourself, you being the business reflect that in what the business is doing.

FRANK: Okay, actually that’s interesting, because I can see how that applies to many other people in the company.

ELIAS: If you are generating a significant time framework in each day addressing to, in your terms, personal issues, what shall be occurring in your business, as it is you, and, therefore, there shall be reflections?

FRANK: Uh-huh. So, my employees are reflecting what I am doing.

ELIAS: Correct. And, therefore, if you alter your perception, focus yourself, and generate an environment of cooperation, and you provide inspiration and motivation, and you are focused, the other individuals shall incorporate more focus also.

FRANK: Okay. It would probably solve a lot of my other problems. (Elias laughs) Okay. All right, well, we will try that. You always come up with something I don’t expect.

ELIAS: (Both laugh) But is this not the reason that you incorporate conversation with myself—to inspire yourself in different directions? (Laughs)

FRANK: That’s right, and you’re doing a good job of it here. (Elias laughs)

Okay, last time we talked, you talked about how I was opposing familiar expressions, and I’m just looking through my notes here and I wanted to ask you about that and see if you could talk a little bit more about that. You talked about how I want to move in new directions, but I’m opposing familiar expressions. What did you mean by that? Did you mean that with, for example, the fears about financial things, like that, I’m trying to move in the direction of not being concerned with those things, and so I’m opposing those as opposed to accepting those—is that what you were trying to say?

ELIAS: Partially, yes.

FRANK: And what else.

ELIAS: And familiar manners in which you interact with other individuals, familiar expressions within yourself that, as you stand upon the threshold of new adventures and creating new directions—new vistas—at times, those familiarities become an irritant, and they interrupt. Whereas, if you allow yourself to acknowledge, you interrupt the concentration with them and you stop opposing them. Just as in your example with the finances. Concerning yourself with that is a familiarity. You have not generated that in a considerable time framework, but recently you are again. That is a familiarity. But you also generate this opposition with that familiarity, and that creates more of a concentration with it, and it reinforces the fear. Rather than acknowledging this is a familiarity, this is a familiar influence, but it is also not preventing myself from accomplishing. But it is creating an irritant, and it is creating a thickness, which is slowing your movement and creates less of an ease.

In acknowledging some of these old familiarities of influences of beliefs, rather than opposing them, you allow yourself to incorporate both—the old and the new—and you allow yourself to move more efficiently into your new discoveries, your new creations.

FRANK: Uh-huh. Okay, I’m going to ask you about two things, then. Number one, I’m wondering if you can give some examples of other...finances—that’s a pretty obvious one to me—are there others that you can name, other of these familiar expressions that you can name?

ELIAS: How you interact with other individuals.

FRANK: Hmm. Okay, you’ve got to tell me more about that because I’m not sure what you mean by that.

ELIAS: What we have been discussing. What is familiar is to be generating an allowance for a lack of guidelines, but then also generating a familiar disappointment. Rather than acknowledging that and interrupting that concentration in which you become stuck, and moving your attention in a different direction to allow yourself the acknowledgement of that and that in some manners that is efficient, but in some manners it is not. Very well, allow yourself to acknowledge, incorporate the manners that you view that are beneficial in association with your direction, but to engage your creativity to create a different new expression of cooperation in association with how you are generating now.

It is not a matter of viewing the manner in which you interact with an individual, and how you have created a particular environment pastly, and how you have associated with other individuals and eliminating that, and expressing to yourself in a blanket statement: “This is inefficient.” No, there are certain elements that are efficient and that are effective. The allowance of the other individual to be expressing their autonomy can be an effective and an efficient expression to engage, but in a different manner than you have previously. Therefore, acknowledging and incorporating the old, but also incorporating a movement into the new.

FRANK: Okay, now I don’t want to beat a dead horse here, but could you give me another example of some familiar expression? I’m just wondering how much of this is going on.

ELIAS: Your daughter.

FRANK: Okay. Lizella?

ELIAS: Familiarities that you incorporate in automatic responses with her and opposing your own familiarities, for you do not want to continue to be expressing in a particular manner. You do not want to be incorporating personal responsibility or continuously moving in the direction of reinforcing her payoffs, but rather than acknowledging yourself that this is familiar and that, at times, you actually may want to incorporate some helpfulness, in your perception, with her, but not necessarily in the capacity that you have many times. And in that, it becomes an either/or situation. I either do not incorporate what I perceive to be helpfulness at all, or I continue to be generating helpfulness and incorporate some conflict, for I’m aware that I am also moving into personal responsibility.

But it is not a matter of black and white, either/or. It is a matter of recognizing your associations with your role as the parent, as the father, and choosing which influences are not conflicting to you, and acknowledging that you do incorporate certain associations and beliefs, and that is acceptable. And you can also choose and move into new expressions in addition to some of the old expressions—not moving in a direction of opposing yourself in expressing to yourself, ”What I am doing, what I have been doing in these types of situations is bad, and I must stop.” Rather allowing yourself the flexibility and the freedom to incorporate an evaluation of each situation, not a blanket statement, and recognizing that in some situations you may actually choose to align with some old familiar associations, and in other situations you may not. But it is not a matter of opposing what you HAVE done or what you HAVE created or what you HAVE engaged previously, but acknowledging the elements in that that are in keeping with your preferences, therefore generating a cooperation with yourself rather than generating an opposition to old familiarities.

FRANK: Okay, I understand what you’re saying. (Elias chuckles) Okay, the second thing I wanted to ask you about—this is probably about a week ago or so, or maybe less than that, but I think what it was—I woke up and had some of these fears on my mind, and as you had recommended, I kind of stopped and got control of myself, and just—I don’t know quite how to express this—but just sort of decided that I’m going to make this turn around now, or it will turn around, or whatever. And all of a sudden I get to work and find there’s a new client that’s going to give us some money real quickly, and just a few things happened and, I mean, was it as simple as that? It seemed like it was as simple as I just decided that day, things will be different, and all of a sudden, they showed signs they were different.

ELIAS: How unbelievable. (Ironically—then laughs)

FRANK: (Laughs) Well, it is and it isn’t, you know what I mean.

ELIAS: In the time framework in which you allow yourself to let go and relax, you generate quite easily.

FRANK: It was really kind of amazing, but not.

ELIAS: I am aware. (Laugh) And yes, it is that simple, but also that difficult.

FRANK: Yeah, because what happens is what—that I forget or I get distracted and then I start choosing the old way?

ELIAS: You are not paying attention. That is what is occurring. In the moment...

FRANK: When I get focused and say, “Hey, I don’t like the way this is and I want it to be different.”

ELIAS: Yes.

FRANK: Then I’m focused and paying attention, but then what happens is...

ELIAS: You lose your focus.

FRANK: Things distract me.

ELIAS: Yes. And you become unfocused.

FRANK: It’s so hard to not be distracted.

ELIAS: And in the moment in which you become unfocused, you open that window to move in directions in which you are generating more of a thickness in energy. You begin to generate more tension...

FRANK: Yeah, and this is all due...and then the auto-responses take over.

ELIAS: Correct. Whereas, if you are focused, you allow yourself to relax and you move in much more of an ease, and you accomplish quickly.

FRANK: Yeah. I thought that was pretty interesting.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Offering yourself an example that you can recall in moments in which you notice yourself distracting yourself and becoming unfocused.

FRANK: Right. Well, it’s like you say, it’s that simple and that hard. It’s an amazing thing.

ELIAS: Correct.

FRANK: Okay, last week my father got sick and actually was in the hospital for a few days, but then it turned out to be really nothing. I’m just curious, what was his motivation for that?

ELIAS: Allowing himself to slow his movement and also allowing himself to generate a particular type of attention.

FRANK: When you say a particular type, what type?

ELIAS: More of an expression of attention in association with a type of energy of concern and nurturing.

FRANK: Okay.

ELIAS: Allowing himself to generate that payoff of receiving this type of energy, and allowing himself to actually receive it.

FRANK: Oh, okay—which he often doesn’t do.

ELIAS: Correct. But generating a manifestation in which he created allowing himself to be expressing more vulnerability and, therefore, more openness, in which that allowed him to actually receive the type of energy that he was seeking.

FRANK: And why is he suddenly wanting to receive this? Is there a particular reason?

ELIAS: Partially a recognition—not an entire recognition—but partially a recognition of his lack of allowance to receive this type of energy and how that creates somewhat of a barrier between himself and other individuals, and not being entirely comfortable with that barrier now.

FRANK: Okay. Two last things I have for you: number one, how can I make my baseball glove reappear?

ELIAS: Stop concentrating upon it.

FRANK: Okay. (Elias chuckles) That’s it?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRANK: Oh, boy—that’s like saying don’t think about a pink elephant.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) The more you concentrate upon it, the more you continue to reinforce its disappearance.

FRANK: Okay. Well, we’ll see if that works.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Very well.

FRANK: I mean, I just have this feeling that whenever it does pop up, I’m going to be like, I can’t believe it, that I didn’t know where it was. (Elias laughs)

The last question I have for you is this: we’ve talked in the past how I have this medical problem, it has to do with reflux disease, and one of the ways it manifests in me is with alcohol. If I drink alcohol, it makes me sick. Sometimes just a very small amount, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, I think, medically. But why have I chosen that expression? I mean, I could have this problem without having that expression to alcohol.

ELIAS: Correct.

FRANK: So why have I chosen it?

ELIAS: It is associated with beliefs that alcohol generates certain physical affectingnesses, and therefore, in that automatic association, you also automatically create it.

FRANK: What—that I think it’s bad for me or something?

ELIAS: Not necessarily that it is bad for you, but you generate an association that it creates physical affectingnesses in different capacities, and that any incorporation of it shall create certain physical responses, and therefore, you automatically create that. And in this, if you already incorporate some physical manifestation, as you generate the association that alcohol does affect physically, you shall, automatically, incorporate an affectingness of some physical manifestation that you have already created. If it is physically affecting of you, and you have no other physical manifestations that you have created, if you include a physical manifestation, it shall also be affecting of that.

FRANK: It seems like kind of a strange belief.

ELIAS: It is quite common.

FRANK: Oh, really.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRANK: I mean it’s kind of strange—I guess I don’t really miss it, but there’s times when I wish I could.

ELIAS: And that is dependent upon you. You can. It is merely a matter of addressing to your belief in association with the substance and in association with the physical manifestation. If you are continuing to be protective of the physical manifestation, you can generate many different types of expressions that shall be affecting of it.

FRANK: Right. Okay, I think if I understand what you’re saying is that I believe that liquor has an affect on these things in my body, and so I create this reaction through this acid reflux problem.

ELIAS: Correct. For you...

FRANK: To keep me from doing this so it won’t affect the other problems.

ELIAS: Correct, for you guard that manifestation.

FRANK: Man, how did I come up with that?

ELIAS: You protect it and, therefore, you create a situation in which it is less bothersome to you. And in protecting it, you also limit what you can do, for it may be affecting of that manifestation. Therefore, you are careful, and in being careful, you continue to guard the manifestation and that creates limitations. Which has been somewhat effective in generating that, but it is a matter of what you choose to be limiting yourself with.

FRANK: Right. Well, it’s useful but unnecessary, I guess. (Elias chuckles)

All right, well, thank you, as always. It’s been a pleasure.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting and your report as to how successful you are becoming in cooperating and being inspiring.

FRANK: Yeah, okay. That’ll be my homework.

ELIAS: (Laughs) And perhaps replace your anxiety or worrying or fear with your imagery of being the gladiator and incorporating more fun.

FRANK: Okay. (Elias laughs) I’m always in favor of more fun. (Elias laughs)

ELIAS: Very well, my friend. As always, I express great appreciation and affection to you.

FRANK: Thank you.

ELIAS: In lovingness, au revoir.

FRANK: Goodbye.

(Elias departs after 1 hour, 2 minutes.)

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Copyright 2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.