Friday, December 2, 2005 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Alicia (Tisara)

(Elias’s arrival time was not available.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

ALICIA: Hello!

ELIAS: And what shall we discuss and how is your progress proceeding?

ALICIA: I could say, and I will say, that I think it’s progressing just fine, but you know, there’s a part of me that feels like I’d like to hear from you how you think I’m doing, even though I know I’m doing fine.

ELIAS: I will express an acknowledgement to you, and also an encouragement to not be discounting yourself in moments in which you view yourself to be less than perfect.

ALICIA: I know. That’s something that is a long-standing pattern that I see. But I’m getting a little better. I’m not quite as vicious when I’m not perfect, not quite as vicious.

ELIAS: And that is an accomplishment.

ALICIA: Yeah. One thing that I’ve noticed, I’m starting to feel, from July, so much better, and the appreciation and feeling so much more open and allowing, which is not to say that my life is perfect or I don’t have my moments where I slip. I guess one of the things that I’ve been thinking about is that I feel so incredibly close and attached to you. And I notice that there are mornings or days when I’m driving to work in my car, and I’m saying to myself, or maybe I’m not, “Good morning, Elias!” And yet we only have twelve focuses together, so it’s a thing that’s kind of perplexing or confusing or interesting. I’m just wondering why do I have these really strong feelings when we have so few focuses, where I feel it’s almost like I don’t want to go talk to anyone else that channels, because I’m just attached to you. I really feel incredibly close to you.

ELIAS: I am understanding. First of all, let me express to you, the numbering of focuses in actuality many times matters not, for it may be more a matter of the quality of those focuses shared, and the relationships that have been expressed, and the intimacy that has been expressed, and therefore, that generates a familiarity. Also, I may express to you that another element involves not merely that familiarity, but the friendship that you generate now, and the relationship that you generate now, and the trust that you allow yourself to experience, and the type of energy that I project to you, which you accept. That is a significant element of the reason that you feel this familiarity or this closeness, for I project an energy that encourages that, and if you are open to receiving that, it encourages a trust within you, which is a liberating factor, and is recognized in a type of bond between yourself and myself. Therefore, it is quite understandable.

ALICIA: When I do sort of have these moments when I’m just feeling like I want to greet you or just send appreciation or just shout out hello or whatever, do you receive that from me?

ELIAS: Yes. I’m aware.

ALICIA: You are?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And if I feel like you’re in the car with me…

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Or am I just imagining? I know you said imagination is real, but I have a hard time…

ELIAS: You are not imagining. The presence of the energy is very real.

ALICIA: Okay.

ELIAS: As I have expressed previously, I am always with you. I am always present. My energy is always being projected and is present with you.

ALICIA: Right. Here’s the thing, another issue that I wanted to bring up, so it makes a beautiful segue here, is that one of the things that I’m hard on myself about or I’m frustrated about is I feel sort of, I know I’m not supposed to be comparing and I notice that I am doing this, nonetheless, I listen to other people who almost seem to almost have these altered states when they’re in an objective frame of receiving you. And I don’t have that experience. I don’t see blue dots. I don’t feel a little tickling and I don’t have my lights play with me in the house or my horn suddenly beep. So, then I always feel like, I guess, not as accomplished…

ELIAS: Ah!

ALICIA: …able to receive you.

ELIAS: Which that is not true. Let me express to you, my friend, individuals configure my energy in many different manners. I project energy to all of you, and each individual shall configure that energy into imagery that they themselves construct to validate themselves. It IS my energy, but it is their configuration of it. Therefore, many individuals choose to be configuring my energy in some type of physical expression that they can see or hear, or that they can involve their physical senses, their outer senses with, for that offers them a stronger and more real validation, and therefore, in that, they can trust that more.

ALICIA: Right, that’s my problem. It doesn’t feel as real. I just have a feeling of closeness, but I don’t have my horn beeping, therefore, “Elias isn’t really here.”

ELIAS: Ah, but I am.

ALICIA: I know, I know, but I guess it has to do with a perceptual thing in terms of…I want to say that perhaps my configuration of you and experiencing you has to do with an emotional feeling.

ELIAS: Which is quite valid.

ALICIA: And it’s sort of an empathy thing, not empathy for you, but just a…

ELIAS: Empathic. Yes.

ALICIA: Yes, and I was thinking about this the other day, too, because I feel like I really would like to have these altered states experiences, you know, with my outer senses, but I don’t, maybe my energy is the type that is more inner and with the empathy. So, there are times when I have this knowing, I don’t know how I have this knowing…

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ALICIA: I don’t have any signal, and I don’t know…what is that? What inner sense is that when you just have this…and it’s so subtle.

ELIAS: I am understanding. That also is associated with your empathic sense.

ALICIA: The idea that you have a knowing.

ELIAS: Yes. And in this, let me express to you, you configure my energy more in association with your inner senses, which is quite understandable, for that allows you to generate your own expression of intimacy with myself.

ALICIA: How so?

ELIAS: For it is not an expression that can necessarily be shared with another individual.

ALICIA: I see.

ELIAS: It is entirely your intimate expression with myself alone. Whereas, were you to configure my energy in flickering lights, other individuals may view that, and therefore, there may be a participation with other individuals, and in this, you want and appreciate the intimacy of yourself and myself without interruption. Also, another factor is that you engage much of your attention in what is occurring in your focus and in your environment. This is a large aspect of your attention. Therefore, to be generating an expression of intimacy with myself, it is more efficient for you to be generating that alone.

ALICIA: As you were saying that, I was thinking, one of the things that it accomplishes is that feeling, because sometimes it’s hard for me to describe to other people that sense of you, so that it keeps it more intimate between you and I, whereas if it was flickering lights and blue lights, there would be something that I would be able to easily find the words to share with somebody else about it.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: And I do agree, I think that a lot of my attention is on my own focus, which is another thing that I get frustrated about, but as I’m listening to you I’m beginning to think this is just something I need to accept, because this is my intent. I have a much harder time getting a sense of other focuses that are mine.

ELIAS: I’m understanding.

ALICIA: When I want to talk to you, I want to talk about what I’m going through.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: But then I sort of judge myself and compare myself and say, “Is there something the matter with me? Am I being superficial? Am I being narcissistic in that?” Because although it would be great fun to talk to you about aliens and links in consciousness or whatever, I just want to talk about myself and my everyday stuff.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

Now; let me pose an inquiry to you. What is your perception of Michael?

ALICIA: Of Michael?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Well, this is very interesting, because while we were talking, I was thinking about this, and I don’t know if I’m answering the question, but I had a dream about her I wanted to share with you. I feel more and more this incredible connection with her. And I was saying to her before you and I were talking, at her recent talk in Vermont I felt this incredible intimacy with her, because what she was talking about I related exactly with what you and I had talked about last time, with my children, and your exercise that you had given me, which I feel like I failed completely on. Nonetheless, I felt like what was going on with me and my kids is very similar to what’s going on with her and her dog. And the idea of what she was talking about, too, was not liking her daughters boyfriend, but she doesn’t have to like him to cooperate with him. I was sharing with her just exactly what I’m going through right now with sort of rethinking my relationship with my ex-husband. I don’t like him, sometimes. I really don’t like what he does. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t cooperate with him.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: So, I felt this incredible bond with her in that way. And three weeks ago I had this dream where I was visiting Mary in her house in Vermont, and it was like I was visiting it to have some group session, and there were some other people in the living room, and I had my children with me, and I went downstairs to her basement, and I was looking around and I saw these very organized shelves with toys on them. And I went, “Oh my goodness! These are my kids’ old toys. How did they get here?” And then I went, “Wait a minute, maybe this is my house. Maybe this is my basement. Maybe she’s the one that I sold my house to.”

So, I went up the stairs and I said, “Mary, when did you buy this house?” And she said, “Ten years ago.” And I went, “Oh, well, wait a minute.” And then I started getting confused, and I said, “Well, my oldest son is 14—I think I sold this house 14 years ago. So how could it be my house and—wait a minute!—I live in Chicago and she lives in Vermont. How could this house be in Vermont?”

And then I looked out and she had these huge windows that were from the top of the wall to the bottom of the wall, and it was a beautiful scene of the mountains and it was kind of hazy, but there was a lot of purple and green, and then down in the valley was this amusement park with this huge Ferris wheel going. And I said, “This is so cool, I have to move to Vermont.” And then I woke up. And I kept thinking to myself, what does this dream mean to me? And I’m beginning to think that I was communicating to myself that there was something having to do with similarities between her and I that we’re going through now or whatever.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And so, I really identify with her.

ELIAS: Now, in this, as you already have expressed and identified, you generate comparisons considerably. Now, if you must generate comparison, which I discourage, but in this situation I shall present a playful direction to you. If you must be generating comparisons, compare with Michael. Rather than comparing yourself with other individuals, and expressing that you are not accomplishing well enough or that you are not widening your awareness enough for you are not connecting with other focuses of yourself or other dimensional focuses, rather than comparing with individuals that do incorporate that action, perhaps compare yourself with Michael, who also does not.

ALICIA: Right. Well, I felt this incredible…I felt like we share something. It’s like a sisterly feeling, an incredible appreciation and just a familiarity with her that I feel.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ALICIA: And it does sort of make me feel like, well, if there are some similarities between the two of us, then I can’t be all bad, because, you know, for one, she’s the one who is doing the energy exchange with Elias anyway.

ELIAS: Ah, that would be a more beneficial comparison, my dear.

ALICIA: I was thinking that those big windows was a message to me that I am widening my perception…

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Even though I may sometimes think that because I don’t have all the fireworks attached to it, that that doesn’t matter.

ELIAS: And viewing the bigger picture.

ALICIA: Right. And I do really feel like sometimes I get it, and sometimes it’s a thing that makes me feel happy even though I can’t explain it. I know that I get it.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ALICIA: I just can’t find the words, and that’s okay.

ELIAS: Recognize that different individuals incorporate different interests. Some individuals choose to be exploring other focuses for this allows them a method to trust themselves in their impressions. But you may be trusting yourself in your impressions in other manners, also. It is a matter of interest and what sparks your curiosity individually. Some individuals are more curious with regard to elements of reality that they do not see. Some individuals are more curious and more interested in this one focus, and what they are doing and what they are exploring in this focus. One is not better or worse than the other. They are merely different interests and different methods, which does not express a measure upon which is a wider awareness. They are equal in their expansion; they merely choose different methods.

ALICIA: Right. And I think that there’s a part of me that would like to have these sort of altered states, but I also know there’s also part of me that sort of has an expression of appreciation for staying grounded in physical reality.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ALICIA: So, I really need to remember that, that it’s not that I’m failing; it’s actually a choice.

ELIAS: Correct, and it is more of a preference with you, which is another similarity that you incorporate with Michael. It is also Michael’s preference not to be exploring other focuses or other dimensional information, but to focus attention in what is occurring and being created now in these experiences that are being generated in this focus.

ALICIA: Right. I have a question sort of related to this. I had another dream where I was with Michael and I was experiencing what it must feel like for her when she does the energy exchange with you, in that, from what I perceive externally, that there’s kind of this electricity that goes through her. And so in this dream, I was experiencing it and saying, “Oh, gee, so that’s what it feels like.” And I guess I’m wondering, is there a probability or a possibility or is there within my own energy configuration that I have a potential to do an energy exchange with some other essence?

ELIAS: You can. This is choice. Yes, you do incorporate the potential, but it is a choice of whether you choose to engage that action or not. But you can.

ALICIA: Okay, I can?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And if I choose that, is there anything that would help create that effectively or efficiently or whatever?

ELIAS: Generating an openness and a willingness to participate, and not incorporating hesitation. Hesitation is the greatest obstacle.

ALICIA: Right. And I think that’s another thing where I associate somehow an altered state with an energy exchange, so if I’m not able to get into an altered state, then forget that.

ELIAS: It is not a matter of that.

ALICIA: Right. I guess not. My definition…

ELIAS: For it is not necessary to be engaging that action prior to an energy exchange. You shall naturally lend yourself to the exchange if you are generating an openness and a willingness to participate, and not generating hesitation in association with skepticism, or fear that you are engaging it incorrectly, or a hesitation with regard to how other individuals shall perceive you, which is a significant obstacle.

ALICIA: For me personally or for anybody?

ELIAS: In association with most individuals—that one element of generating embarrassment or hesitation in fear of how other individuals shall perceive you, or how they shall receive the energy and the information, and whether it is adequate information. It is a matter of trusting the cooperation that you generate.

ALICIA: And that’s interesting that you say that, because it’s making me think about last time in the weeks since we talked, you said there was a future focus I could connect with…

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: That could help me accomplish what I’m trying to accomplish.

ELIAS: Correct, but you can connect with that future focus in dream imagery.

ALICIA: Which I think I may have. I picture her as having dark hair.

ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.

ALICIA: I pictured her as being a she, having dark hair, having kind of Latin American, South American kind of complexion. I have to say that Baruch said that he was hearing the name of Sahrah and I was wondering if that’s accurate.

ELIAS: That is another focus.

ALICIA: That’s another focus, so…that’s not the focus you’re talking about.

ELIAS: Correct. But what you are describing is accurate thus far.

ALICIA: The wrong name, okay. So, when I sat down and tried to get a sense of her, and even written down what I think was coming to me, is that actually her or is that me distorting as me?

ELIAS: It is a projection of energy from her and it is your translation. And the more that you allow an openness, the more you allow a trust between you, the more accurate it shall become.

ALICIA: Now, I also got a feeling that she had a big connection with you.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay. See, now I have to learn to…

ELIAS: It is merely a matter of trusting your impression.

ALICIA: Right. And that she has something to do with higher learning.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking.

ALICIA: Interesting. I feel like I’m playing “What’s My Line?”

ELIAS: (Laughs)

ALICIA: I suppose that you wouldn’t give me any more clues and hints, would you? That would be cheating, wouldn’t it?

ELIAS: Not necessarily cheating, but I would be encouraging of you to continue to in your investigation, and listening to your impressions and trusting them. This is a practice. It is an avenue in which you can practice trusting your impressions.

ALICIA: Okay. I guess that she’s real far in the future.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And that when I asked her where she hailed from, and she said, again the translation that I felt, because I don’t hear anything, is that she wouldn’t really be able to tell me because lands have shifted so much that whatever we would call it isn’t what it’s being called then, so it wouldn’t make any difference.

ELIAS: Correct, and also does not actually occupy this particular planet.

ALICIA: Ooh, on another planet! Well, that explains…I also thought she said something about how there’s a lot of projecting in terms of…like she can create the world whatever color and the furniture just by projecting.

ELIAS: Yes. This is not another dimensional focus. It is one within your physical dimension and reality. It merely does not reside upon your planet.

ALICIA: Now this brings to mind a dream I had a long time ago that I’ve always wanted to ask you, but I haven’t had the time or we’ve been on to other subjects. But it was such a powerful dream experience, where I was in space, and it looked like a Ferris wheel, but it was the other direction, so it was like in a circle. And I was docking into another space ship because I was sort of lost in space. And even though I could get off of this thing, I was afraid if I let go I would fall. So, then I went into this spaceship, at which point, once we docked, I was able to let go of it. And then I was like some kind of princess of some leader of a planet, and they were at war with another planet, and it was incredibly peaceful. I think there was so much peace that they had to create some kind of war to create some kind of energy. And they were called the Rogerians and the Prosthesians. And the person who let me in was a female who was like my father’s second wife. And then I ended up in some kind of shopping mall, and got kind of confused, and then I woke up. But it really felt like I was tuning into something having to do with another planet or outer space. It definitely had a sci-fi feeling to it.

ELIAS: I am understanding. And also is an example of what I was expressing to you, that an easy manner in which you can connect with other focuses of yourself, if you are so choosing, is within dream state. For this is another focus.

ALICIA: But it’s not the focus that we’re talking about.

ELIAS: No.

ALICIA: So, this is another outer space focus.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: The Prosthesians are what?

ELIAS: That is your translation. That is your translation to offer yourself an identification of these two cultures.

ALICIA: Well, where would I come up with that name? The Rogerians I could see that I could translate that has to do with Carl Rogers and therapy, but this isn’t a name or a word that I don’t even think exists.

ELIAS: I am understanding. It is one that you have created in association with the energy that you experienced.

ALICIA: Ah, so, it’s a tone of the energy.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: I have to say that most of my focuses that I do feel are focuses of mine, that I bring to you and you say yes to, have to do with dreams.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: So, I’m beginning to feel like that’s where I get a lot of my information. I’ve been trying to keep track of my dreams and remember my dreams more, and using them, not just for trying to figure out other focuses, but what is this saying to me? Because I really feel sometimes like I’m communicating with my essence with these dreams.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And that’s why I was saying to Alon one day that often times my mornings are the best times for me in terms of how I feel, because I feel like I’ve just had a reconnection, like I’ve docked and refueled, and sent me on my way. So, speaking of future focuses, you had also asked me…you’ve given me a clue of fifteenth century or sixteenth century Spain?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And I thought Cervantes. Then I was running it by Baruch, and he said King Phillip II. Are either one of us close?

ELIAS: Those would both be observing essence roles.

ALICIA: Ah, so there still is another one.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay. Would you like to give me another clue? Would this fifteenth or sixteenth century Spanish focus have anything to do with the arts?

ELIAS: Somewhat.

ALICIA: Somewhat, okay. The other sense that I got about another focus was, am I a focus of Julia Ward Howe?

ELIAS: Counterpart.

ALICIA: Boy, I’m not very good at this.

ELIAS: Ah, do not be discounting yourself!

ALICIA: I caught it as soon as it came out of my mouth. I seem to be—and I don’t know what this is about—but I seem to be able to tune into counterparts more than…

ELIAS: You are recognizing connections.

ALICIA: What about Rebecca Nurse?

ELIAS: Observing.

ALICIA: I think you said that I have a focus that’s involved with the Salem witch trails.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Thelma Todd, the actress.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Ah, she is? Okay, interesting. So, that’s why I was keyed in, last time we spoke, with Harpo Marx, Marx brothers.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: But she seems so different from me, which is interesting.

ELIAS: Many focuses are different.

ALICIA: I had a dream where I was the babysitter-best friend of Gwyneth Paltrow. I was wondering if there’s any connection there.

ELIAS: That would also be observing and counterpart.

ALICIA: And there are times when I feel like, and people have told me that I remind them of Robin Williams, the comedian.

ELIAS: That is a similarity in energy.

ALICIA: Okay. And what about Sancia of Aragon?

ELIAS: No.

ALICIA: Okay. I didn’t think so either. Clara Barton.

ELIAS: Counterpart.

ALICIA: Leonard Bernstein.

ELIAS: Also counterpart.

ALICIA: I feel like I have a focus in vaudeville.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Is it a well known focus or someone more on the fringes?

ELIAS: Not well known.

ALICIA: Not well known, so I wouldn’t be able to look that person up on the internet. Darn.

I have a lot of dreams having to do with being in an improvisational acting group. Is that something where I’m giving myself information saying that this is something that I should explore in this focus or is this something that is communicating to me that I have a past focus, I shouldn’t say past focus, or I have another focus in improvisational comedy or counterpart?

ELIAS: Yes, you do incorporate another focus that engages that. If you are so choosing, you can draw upon that energy in encouragement to yourself in your own direction with that type of action. That would be a choice.

ALICIA: There’s a part of me that sort of feels that I’m very interested, and I’d like to do that, and I think it would be a lot of fun. And people have said that I have—and I sort of think that I do have—ability to use humor. But I tried it one year and I was abysmal in it, but I think it was also because I was depressed, which inhibited me.

ELIAS: And perhaps you may experiment again.

ALICIA: All right. I suppose it wouldn’t be for you to say whether or not that would be something you would recommend.

ELIAS: I may express that there may be many different elements of benefit to that action.

ALICIA: Right. And one of the things I wanted to talk about today, which I am and we’re kind of talking around it, is observing my energy expression, being able to understand what it actually is. And I feel like I have this very loving energy, but a very playful energy that enjoys humorous expressions and saying funny things, but I also feel that I have this sometimes thudding energy, sort of heavy, clunky energy, and…am I accurate on any of these?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: So, when you had said that—and again, I don’t even know if this is a valuable thing to do, but I’m curious, when you had said that I had fragmented from Twyla, Lazlo, and Actel, and I know Twyla…that would make sense as far as my focus today being in psychotherapy as a profession. But Lazlo and Actel, I’m curious about. Does any of my energy that I mentioned to you just now come from either Lazlo or Actel?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Okay. The lightness, humorous one—is that from Actel?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And Lazlo’s the heavier one.

ELIAS: Yes, which provides contrast.

ALICIA: Right, which is interesting because of my intent of balance.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: So they come from the balance, and the intensity part must come from Twyla?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: Because I’m exploring intensity with balance. Very interesting.

Is there anything else you can tell me about Lazlo and Actel in terms of…if Twyla is connected with the healing piece, what would Lazlo and Actel be connected to in terms of the nine families?

ELIAS: Let me express to you, these essences that are placed within the game, are representatives of these different families. They are all belonging to the Sumafi family. Therefore, they are merely serving as a representative.

ALICIA: That I know, but I was just wondering in terms of…are you saying that also Lazlo and Actel would be Sumafi? Or do they have no attachment to the nine families at all?

ELIAS: They are not necessarily Sumafi, but it matters not, for these are energies that you have chosen as essence, not all of which filters through this focus. This is the reason that you may notice some focuses which appear to you to be very different from yourself, for they express different qualities. All of these qualities are available to you, but may be latent. It is your choice as the individual as to your own exploration, and how that shall be accomplished, and what qualities you shall engage and express, and what directions you shall engage.

ALICIA: Okay. Do either one of them have…because it’s interesting being Sumafi belonging Tumold aligned, and yet I feel this incredible passion for the arts, with my writing and with improvisation stuff…

ELIAS: I am understanding, but what is the basic quality of the Tumold family is to return to natural state. That may be accomplished in many manners. It may be accomplished in what you term to be healing in association with physicians and medical practices in whatever expression is chosen, or it may be chosen in other manners and expressed. Music can be healing. Art can be healing. Dance can be healing. Humor can be healing.

ALICIA: Okay, that makes sense. Now, I also feel like—and again I want your input in this—writing is such an incredible passion, and yet it’s not my profession. And I’m sitting here thinking, okay some of that is probably because I’ve discounted that as a talent, and yet people have told me that I have a talent in it. Over this past summer, or maybe it was early fall, I had this idea of this short story. Someone was saying I should turn it into a novella. And it was about a teen girl, and I’m thinking, there’s an interest in my taking this… and I do put it into a novel, a novella, having it be part of sort of the Shift work, sort of therapeutically in terms of helping, and I’m having a hard time articulating this, involving the whole stuff that we’re learning in our groups in terms of the Shift? So, what do you think? Is that something that I’m moving towards, or was I just distracting myself?

ELIAS: I would express to you that this is not a distraction; it is an inspiration.

ALICIA: And is it something that I have the ability to accomplish?

ELIAS: Yes. And I would be encouraging of you to be expressing your creativity, which would also be another practice in trusting yourself, trusting what you can accomplish and experimenting.

ALICIA: And is it something that I could accomplish that would be publishable?

ELIAS: It is.

ALICIA: So, I should trust that talent?

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: All right. Two other questions I have. I have much more, but I’ll have to wait till next time, but there are two that are really important to me, which is I feel like I’m doing much better at helping my adolescents at Harbor, where I work, than I was last year. And I wondered if you would agree with that.

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: And what I feel that I’m accomplishing is being less instructional and more sharing of information, although sometimes I notice that I slip, but that I’m being more helpful in just being real and less sort of instructional or making them feel like they need to be fixed.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: And that’s making them drawn to me more. However, I feel like I probably could improve on that, and I’m wondering if you could give me any direction with that.

ELIAS: Be aware of cooperation.

ALICIA: And that’s one of the things that I do talk a lot about, and I also have been noticing myself when I feel like I’m getting in conflict with them.

ELIAS: And remember that cooperation is not compromise. It is not complying and it is not compromise.

ALICIA: Right. But as I recall you saying, it has to do with appreciating the differences and accepting them.

ELIAS: Correct, and not generating expectations.

ALICIA: So, would you say in terms of watching when I generate an expectation of them or when they generate an expectation of the school or of me or the teachers?

ELIAS: Both.

ALICIA: Both. Okay. The other thing is one of the things that I notice…I’ve been trying to notice my beliefs, and I’ve been doing that through my dreams. And what I do is when I have a dream and I remember, I write it down and then I try to figure out what belief it may be showing me. Is that something that is a good thing to do?

ELIAS: Yes, it is beneficial.

ALICIA: One of the beliefs that I’m beginning to realize that I have is a lot about money, and when I really fell apart over this summer, and was really feeling like I wasn’t deserving and all that other stuff, I was in what I perceived as being great throes of poverty. And I’m on the fence right now in terms of I refinanced my house, and I have this huge mortgage now, and I want to get it down, but my credit report has really been trashed. And so, I’m still sort of on the fence regarding possibly having to sell my house, which I don’t really want to do. But I’m thinking, what I’m creating with money and my house and the credit report and everything else is something really important that I need to pay attention to. And I guess I’m sort of panicked that I’m going to, although I feel like I’ve gotten better, that somehow it’s going to return.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ALICIA: And I’m wondering if you could speak to that.

ELIAS: In this, continue to acknowledge what you ARE accomplishing, rather than distracting yourself with the anticipation that you will not accomplish, or the recall of what you view in negative terms in association with past experiences. Hold your attention in the now. Be present in the now and acknowledge what you ARE accomplishing. In moments in which you experience yourself generating anxiety in association with anticipating future, intentionally distract yourself. Do not discount yourself. Acknowledge what you are experiencing. Acknowledge that anxiety, but return your attention to the now, and acknowledge what you are accomplishing now. Reinforce your trust.

ALICIA: What just happened to me is, I have a creditor on the phone, and it throws me into a panic to realize that I’m creating that.

ELIAS: Yes, and that you are addressing to it.

ALICIA: I’m addressing to it. And what belief am I addressing to? Is it that I am unsafe or that I don’t have the power to…?

ELIAS: You are addressing to the belief of lack.

ALICIA: And that there is such a thing as lack.

ELIAS: It is real, for you create it to be real.

ALICIA: Right. So I believe that there is a thing called “lack of.”

ELIAS: Yes.

ALICIA: As opposed to abundance, and the belief that you can have as much abundance as you want. It’s your choice.

ELIAS: You also incorporate that belief, but you express the other.

ALICIA: Yes. That’s true. Why do I do that? Because I don’t trust the one?

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: Okay. So, let’s say I have a creditor on the phone, to realize that I’m turning my attention to that belief of lack and…

ELIAS: And you are addressing to it.

ALICIA: And I’m addressing to it. So, don’t try to go deeper into it, but distract myself.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: Or I keep saying, but you know what, I have such a wonderful group of kids as my children that I love, that I think we have a great family, blah, blah, blah, and I’m going to focus on that feeling of appreciating them and having fun with them. Is that example of intentionally distracting in an appropriate way?

ELIAS: Yes. In the now.

ALICIA: The other question is regarding my son Daniel/Arnett? I realize that I have all kinds of beliefs that are probably negatively impacting him. He seems like such a different child, and I really feel like there’s a part of him that’s one of these shifty kids. Would you agree with that?

ELIAS: I may express to you in your colorful terms, all of these young ones are shifty kids.

ALICIA: But still, I feel like there are times when he’ll walk around feeling like he doesn’t need to have clothes, or he’ll say to me, “Why do we even need to have money?” The stuff that sort of…I feel like his peers are not at the same place that he is. And he gets really horribly picked on and doesn’t have any friends, and people think he’s weird in school, and he just recently experienced this bullying thing. I feel very protective of him, and it really hurts me. He’s also incredibly forgetful, disorganized, and I know I push him, and I’m probably having a negative impact on him because I so fear that he’s not going to be successful, he’s going to drop out of school, etcetera, etcetera, even though…

ELIAS: Which, what are you doing once again?

ALICIA: What am I doing?

ELIAS: This is a very familiar action for you, my friend.

ALICIA: Oh, the discounting?

ELIAS: Not merely discounting. What are you doing? It is important that you recognize this.

ALICIA: Okay, especially because it’s something that I do a lot.

ELIAS: Correct. What are you doing?

ALICIA: I’m saying that I’m probably negatively impacting him because of my beliefs, that if he doesn’t… I’m projecting.

ELIAS: Correct.

ALICIA: Oh, my god!

ELIAS: You are projecting. You are not paying attention to the now. You are not acknowledging the now. You are projecting in anticipation of future.

ALICIA: Right. But you know I get such help on that, because I get notes from his teachers. Panic, panic, panic, panic, panic!

ELIAS: But you are creating this. You create that output of energy, and subsequently you generate a reflection to yourself. The reflection is the response; it is not the initiating action. You are creating the initiating action in the ongoing energy that you are projecting outwardly, which is discounting of the other individual. They are not accomplishing now, therefore, they shall be unsuccessful and shall not accomplish futurely. And that generates worry and protectiveness. And the more you generate worry and protectiveness, the more you reinforce the encouragement of the other individual to continue to express and behave and create in the manner in which they are. You are encouraging that.

ALICIA: Right. So my question was actually, how do I resolve my worries? Because I do know that I’m worried about him, and that’s not helping. But I also know my worries are hinged on certain beliefs that are both my own personal and they’re also societal.

ELIAS: Remind yourself that your worry is actually creating precisely what you do not want, and your worry is actually reinforcing and encouraging his expression of victim. You are not offering an energy of supportiveness or empowering. (Recording ends.)

(Recording ends after 1 hour, 2 minutes.)

© 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.