Saturday, May 21, 2005 (Private)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Kevin (Conrad) and Kathleen (Tina)
(Elias’ arrival time is 23 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
KEVIN: Hi, Elias.
ELIAS: Welcome! How shall we proceed?
KEVIN: First of all, I think we have been interacting some, recently. I had some interesting dreams yesterday that I can’t really remember, yesterday morning. Were we interacting there?
KEVIN: Much to do about acceptance, there, it seemed. (Elias chuckles)
ELIAS: A personal favorite topic.
KEVIN: Yes, I kind of gathered that. I’ve been reading the information for about the last three months. As I was telling Mary, it seems like something that I’ve been engaged in for a very long time, the action of acceptance. I feel like I’ve been accomplishing in some ways, and sometimes I feel like I’m going backwards. But I would like to start with my essence name.
ELIAS: Essence name, Conrad.
KEVIN: The common spelling?
KEVIN: Essence family?
ELIAS: And your impression?
KEVIN: Oh, interesting. How about orientation?
KEVIN: And element — thought focus?
KEVIN: I’ve been doing a lot of thought recently on intent, really trying to understand the concept of intent. I was reading the other day where an individual was talking to you about intent, and thought that his intent had to do with a lot with processes. I’m thinking that my intent has more to do with the overriding concepts, that I seem to have issues with details. The little details kind of irritate me. I like the big picture. I was wondering if you could talk to me a bit about that, about if that is the case as far as my intent goes and basically how I can align with that better.
ELIAS: First of all, I may express to you it is unnecessary to attempt to align with your intent better, for you are already aligning with your intent quite adequately, and have been, which also generates your value fulfillment.
Now; in this, yes, that is an element of your intent, and that element is a fascination in regard to your intent. More specifically, it may be defined as the exploration of concepts and philosophies and how that creates a big picture.
KEVIN: The big picture of reality, so to speak?
ELIAS: In any big picture, how the concepts and philosophies and actions and behaviors in individuals or in scenarios create an overview of any situation or reality or an individual and different scenarios. This allows you to explore more expanded views of scenarios, situations, individuals and yourself.
KEVIN: Which is why I’ve always identified myself as a people watcher, why I’ve been interested in role-playing? (Elias nods) Okay.
ELIAS: These are all different avenues in which you generate that exploration in association with your intent.
KEVIN: Another interesting question, and this has to do with other focuses. I was wondering if one of my focuses is Jack the Ripper or another serial killer like Jack the Ripper?
ELIAS: Similar. Not that individual, but yes.
KEVIN: And would this individual exist in about the same timeframe as Jack the Ripper?
ELIAS: Slightly earlier.
KEVIN: Slightly earlier but pretty much the same cultural idea, the same modes of dress and such?
KEVIN: Western Europe?
KEVIN: When I was a child, I was engaged in a game with friends with the Ouija board, and I played with that concept then, believing that I was scaring my friends with the idea of Jack the Ripper was communicating with them through the Ouija board. I’ve had other experiences in my life that keep bringing me back to the idea of Jack again and again. I’ve had many dreams where I interacted with a living individual — who, in my dreams, was Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lector — but I felt that he was representative of this individual, this focus of mine.
KEVIN: That’s rather dark from our view of things.
ELIAS: Perhaps from your point of view now, but not necessarily from the point of view of the other individual. In this, let me express to you, this is one reason that at times it is valuable for individuals to be investigating other focuses, especially if a particular focus is bleeding through to your awareness in a frequent manner or repeatedly.
For as you allow yourself to investigate the other focus and recognize that this is another focus of you and that individual is generating the experiences, not you, that creates a type of helpfulness within yourself to not confuse your individual identity with the other individual. Although you are the other individual, you each incorporate your own unique identity and experiences.
But it is also useful, for the reason that other focuses bleed through into a particular focus is that you, as this focus, are drawing that energy to you. You are drawing that energy to you to enhance some experience or exploration that you are generating in this focus. At times, that may appear confusing if it appears to be conflicting, but it is purposeful, for it allows you to reinforce certain expressions and energies that you, yourself, generate in this focus. Not necessarily that you are implementing similar actions or similar experiences, but there is an intensity of energy in that individual. There is also a reveling in accomplishment in that individual. The perception of that individual is not unlike your own. It is merely expressed in different types of experiences which are not viewed by that individual as bad but as accomplishments, and actually, in some manners, as politic or artistic accomplishments.
KEVIN: A form of creativity.
ELIAS: Yes. And therefore, there is an appreciation of the experiences. It is also a fascination and a curiosity which generates a considerable intensity in energy. That is what you are drawing to yourself, a reinforcement of your own passion and your own intensity of energy.
KEVIN: Sometimes I feel like that intensity of energy almost has a backlash effect in my life. I feel very sedentary, very unaccomplishing in material areas as far as financially, as far as what people would generally look at in your life and say he doesn’t seem to be producing much. It’s almost like there is an intensity of thought or emotion that doesn’t find expression, for lack of a better term, almost like I’m blocking it.
ELIAS: It is not necessarily a situation in which you are blocking. It is more that you have not allowed yourself to become intimately familiar with yourself to the point in which you may efficiently channel that energy in manners that you want.
In this, as you continue to explore yourself and become more familiar with your preferences and with what are not your preferences, this shall allow you more clarity as to what you want more specifically. In that, you shall allow yourself more of an ease of directing your energy in a more focused manner in association with what you want and what you prefer, and that shall be motivating for you in accomplishment.
But what is familiar to you is to be somewhat scattered. Your energy is somewhat scattered, and that influences your thought process, which is a translating mechanism. You fascinate yourself with this translating mechanism, and therefore, you offer considerable attention to it — but that is not what creates your reality. In that, you allow your energy to become scattered, paying attention to thought and playing with that mechanism of thought, but in many different directions simultaneously. Which is not bad, but it also does not offer you much clarity as to your preferences and as to what you genuinely want or what you want to accomplish. Accomplishment may be expressed in many different manners, not necessarily in the production of some manifestation.
But the point is that in this scatteredness, your attention focuses so strongly upon the games of the thought mechanism that you do not allow yourself to move your attention to different areas of yourself and communications of yourself. Therefore, you do not incorporate a clear awareness of what you actually want and what you actually prefer.
I may express to you an exercise that you may incorporate for two of your days. It is not necessary to engage it longer than that time framework, for I may assure you, it shall be challenging enough in merely two days. (Chuckles)
In this, in your two days, from the moment you awaken until the moment that you retire, notice all that you do and how you are doing it, regardless of how mundane or how insignificant the action appears to you to be — incorporating your clothes, your shoes, brushing your teeth, combing your hair, consuming your meals, opening and closing doors or windows, how you move in and out of your vehicle. These are all significant actions that are automatic actions that generally you do not pay attention to, but they incorporate significant information.
As an example, do you wake and brush your teeth within your morning time, and if so, how do you brush your teeth?
KEVIN: I don’t, generally, in the morning.
ELIAS: Do you comb your hair?
ELIAS: What is your first action?
KEVIN: Well, if I need to go to the bathroom, I usually do that first. Then I make coffee, and then I flip the computer on.
ELIAS: And how do you incorporate making coffee?
KEVIN: Without much thought.
ELIAS: And how do you engage your bathroom?
KEVIN: Automatically. I mean, I just go in, sit and do it and go.
ELIAS: In a matter-of-fact manner.
ELIAS: And in generating your coffee, are you expressing that action in a mechanical manner?
ELIAS: Rather than actually paying attention to what you are doing and absorbing the aroma of the coffee or noticing the position of the pot or noticing the room in which the pot exists, or even within your bathroom, noticing whether the floor is warm or cold, or whether the room is bright or dark, whether it is pleasing or not. All of these actions that you engage offer you valuable information concerning your preferences or what your preferences are not.
Subsequently, you move to your computer, and what do you do?
KEVIN: Usually it’s on by this point, because a lot of times I turn it on before I go and make the coffee, so that it’s on when I get in the room. I check the day’s news or go to one of the message boards that I visit or go to the Elias material and punch in a gem. Generally, that’s how I start my day.
ELIAS: And what have you appreciated?
KEVIN: Nothing. Basically, I go though it like an automaton, like a machine, with my mind on something else.
ELIAS: And where is your thought process?
KEVIN: Probably already in the room with the computer or thinking about what I’m going to do for the day. Of course, when she’s going to work, a lot of times I’ll get up and fix her breakfast or lunch or whatever, but again, I do it all automatically, thinking about what’s going to happen later on.
ELIAS: In which you are not present with yourself in the now. You are projecting your attention outside of the now and not offering yourself the opportunity to listen to your own communications and to be aware of you and of your preferences, or not allowing yourself the opportunity to be appreciating of what you are already creating in each movement or what you have already created in your dwelling, in your environment, in your relationship, in yourself.
Moving through your day in a harried manner and continuously projecting your attention futurely scatters your energy. It does not allow you to focus your attention. In scattering your energy, time escapes you. In one moment, the entire day stands before you. In the next moment, it is gone. That sets into motion a cycle and a pattern of discounting yourself, for now the day is gone and you have not accomplished what you should accomplish. You continue to perpetuate this pattern, which continues to discount yourself.
Conversely, I may express to you, in incorporating this exercise for merely two of your days, you may be quite surprised at all of the automatic actions that you generate throughout your day and how your day appears to escape you. It shall also emphasize more clearly to you how often and how frequently you discount yourself, for it is merely not at the end of your day that discounting begins. That is occurring throughout your day in different moments, moments in which momentarily you are aware that a significant volume of minutes or hours has passed and you have not accomplished. But you are unaware of what you should be accomplishing, for you are unaware of what your preferences are and what you want to do. How may you accomplish if you are unaware of what you want? This shall offer you an interruption of that discounting.
Let me express to you, you, unlike many other individuals, generate a consistent discounting of yourself but it is so very camouflaged that you do not notice it, for the most part. This exercise shall emphasize that to you. Individuals at times become so very familiar with discounting themselves and holding to their energy that they do not even notice that they are generating that action. But you shall allow yourself freedom in noticing how often you actually generate that discounting of yourself, which is not creating a block. It is a lack of awareness, and it is a lack of directedness with your attention, allowing your attention to be quite scattered rather than focused in association with you and what you want.
As to the element of finances, as I have expressed to other individuals many times previously, contrary to what you think, money is one of the easiest manifestations that you create. You all create it, and you all create it consistently. Many of you express to yourselves that you believe you do not incorporate enough, but generally speaking, that is that you are not actually acknowledging what you ARE creating or what you DO have. You are focusing your attention upon lack and what you perceive that you do not have, rather than acknowledging and appreciating what you do have and what you do accomplish. The more that you acknowledge and appreciate what you have and what you have already created, the more you allow yourself to create more abundantly. It naturally flows, for you are not concerning yourself any longer with what you do not have.
In this, as I have stated, actual money is one of the easiest manifestations that you all create. Not every individual incorporates a vehicle; every individual incorporates some type of money. Whether they deem it to be enough or not enough, they do incorporate manifesting it. You manifest money as easily, as effortlessly, as you manifest your air. It does not require thought; you merely manifest it. Even in the perception that you must work and incorporate a job, you are engaging an activity and you create money. You may engage any activity and create money. It matters not what the action is.
You can generate money, for this is what you create. Therefore, the money is not the obstacle or the challenge. It is the DOING that is the challenge — the discovery of what you want and what you want to do and what generates satisfaction within you. The challenge also is, once again, not the money but the perception, whether the perception is concentrated in lack or whether it is concentrated in acknowledgment and appreciation.
KEVIN: One of the other things I wanted to talk about today was when I was a child, my mother and grandmother and I were playing a game and a red marble fell on the floor and seemed to vanish. We searched high and low for that marble. I don’t know for how long, months literally. I don’t remember exactly what it was that happened, but we were playing another game there, sometime later, and I had a die in my hand and I was playing with it. For some reason, I tossed it up in the air thinking that I would find the red marble. When the die landed on the floor, I looked and the marble was touching the die. It was right there. We had vacuumed, walked back and forth. It was right in front of the front door. Where’d the marble go?
ELIAS: It did not GO anywhere. It merely ceased to exist.
KEVIN: Why did I generate that experience?
ELIAS: To offer yourself an experience of impossible actions that are possible, and that there is more to your reality than your sciences explain, and that all of your reality is not necessarily logical. It is ordered, but it is not necessarily logical. Logic would express to you that the marble disappeared but was somewhere. Even if it had moved to a parallel reality, it continues to exist somewhere, for it is an object. It incorporates mass; it is matter. Therefore, once it exists, it always exists. Not true. An object exists for you generate it to exist. Your perception creates it. If you choose to not create it, it may no longer exist. It did not move to another location, it merely ceased to exist for a time framework, until, in your curiosity, you choose to create it again.
KEVIN: Very interesting. Basically, that marble did become symbolic in the household for anything can happen. I wondered if it was basically a starting place for my questioning of reality and the way it works, my fascination with that.
ELIAS: Somewhat. In this, you offered yourself an example, a physical example of unexplained phenomenon, and also the example of how automatically individuals desperately attempt to explain unexplained phenomenon. There must be an explanation.
KEVIN: A rational explanation...
ELIAS: Correct, and there is not always a rational or logical explanation other than you merely chose not to disappear the object, but not to create it any longer and therefore end its existence — which you may do more often than you pay attention to, and is merely the reverse principle of materializing an apple within your hand.
As much as you believe that you cannot materialize an apple from nothing within your hand, you also, in logic, express that you do not disintegrate an object and it becomes thin air or nothing from something. What is, is, and shall be. What is not, is not, and shall not be. But in actuality, your reality is not that black and white. (Chuckles)
KEVIN: About ten years ago now, I had quite the experience, what I often relate as my pivotal experience, where I had a sudden awareness of the inherent perfection of everything, is the only way I can truly explain it. It was persistent. For about two or three weeks I had the feeling. There was an actual objective validation in it that the people close to me would say that I glowed virtually with the experience. I take it this was a glimpse I allowed myself basically of our reality, for lack of a better term, of us, that we are in our own perfection, as it were.
ELIAS: And an experience of acceptance in a bold sense, not merely in relation to one subject, and also an experience that allowed you some evidence of the lack of separation and how interconnected all of you are, or all of consciousness is, and that in that interconnectedness, you are all generating experiences, and all of those experiences, regardless of what they are, regardless of whether they are comfortable or uncomfortable or whether they are deemed to be good or bad, they are all experiences that generate value fulfillment. They are all experiences that expand consciousness, for they are all an exploration.
It is also an example to you, temporarily, of what I have been discussing with individuals recently, of recognizing your own truths, your own beliefs, knowing that they are your own guidelines. Therefore, in a manner of speaking they are right for you, but they do not necessarily apply to other individuals, and what their right guidelines are for them may be quite wrong for you. But in this, there is a knowing and a recognition that regardless of whether another individual’s beliefs and truths are wrong for you, they are not actually wrong, for they are their guidelines. Your guidelines are perhaps wrong to them, but they are not wrong to you, for they are YOUR guidelines.
This allows you to be more aware of you, that whether you agree with the other individual’s guidelines or not, you are holding to yours. Whether another individual generates an action that you disagree with or that you deem to be wrong, you are not generating the action. You are holding to your guidelines. It is not your responsibility to instruct the other individual in how they should experience within their focus. What is your responsibility is that you pay attention to you and allow yourself your greatest freedom and that you hold to your guidelines and know that whatever action or choice the other individual is engaging matters not, for you are not what is engaging it.
KEVIN: I became so desperate after that feeling faded from my awareness to try and regain it, to try and live in that understanding, for lack of a better term. That’s basically been a ten-year quest for me that I have not yet realized.
ELIAS: But you can. In this, the manner in which you accomplish that is in increments, in the moment, in each moment in whatever choices are being expressed in every scenario in association with yourself and with other individuals. How can you accomplish that type of awareness and that experience again if your energy is scattered, and if you are unaware of yourself and what YOUR freedoms are and what YOUR guidelines are? The reason that you allowed yourself to generate that experience and accomplished that was not merely in perceiving outside of yourself but also being aware of yourself as part of that.
KEVIN: Part of the perfection?
KEVIN: That was the biggest thing that I missed after the feeling faded, just the sense of... I mean, it was a joy, which doesn’t approach the correct wording for it, of course. It’s a joy without the need for joy is the best way I can say it, because it just was.
ELIAS: A genuine expression of appreciation.
KEVIN: For everything.
ELIAS: Appreciation is not necessarily a feeling. It is a knowing. In that, you may couple a feeling with that of joy, but the appreciation itself is not actually a feeling.
KEVIN: One thing that I have been toying with recently is automatic writing. I was wondering if you have been engaged with me in this at all. There was a couple of times a few months ago where I was sitting there and just trying to relax and not really think and just let the words come through me, for lack of a better term. A couple of times it felt like reading the information that’s been presented through the Elias forum.
ELIAS: My energy has been present but merely in supportiveness and encouragement with you. What you are allowing is information from your own essence, which is you. You incorporate equal information as do I, and you are equally as magnificent.
KEVIN: Before my mother died, she was expressing to me that she was having trouble distinguishing the point when she would lose awareness when going sleep. She couldn’t any longer find the boundary between being awake, being in that hypnogogic state, as we represent it, and being actually asleep. Everything seemed to run together to the point where she would be having dream-like experiences. She’d be talking to her boyfriend and identifying him as somebody else, somebody in her dream. It was like the objective and subjective boundary had gone for her, at that point. I wondered if that was part of her transition before she was disengaging, or if that was actually just part of the Shift that we’re going through now.
ELIAS: That is an element of this shift. In becoming more aware and in balancing the objective and the subjective and being more aware of their harmony and interconnectedness, your dream imagery is equally as real as your waking imagery. They are both objective expressions. They are both objective awarenesses and translations.
objective imagery is abstract. You notice the abstractness within dreams more so, for the manner in which you perceive your waking imagery appears to you to be more solid and less flexible. But they are equally real, and may be interchangeable. Many times, individuals generate experiences within dream states to allow them to not generate it within waking state. They generate choices within the dream state that they would not necessarily engage within waking state, but create both experiences, and those experiences within the dream imagery are as real as that within waking imagery. You merely incorporate the idea that your dream imagery is imaginary. But it is not and can be moved with the waking imagery and incorporated with the waking imagery to a point where they may be somewhat indistinguishable, for they are both elements of your reality.
In this, allow yourself to recognize how often individuals express their desire to be engaging dream imagery and recalling dream imagery. What is the reason? For they view this to be much more imaginative and therefore fun, and also view that there is information which is expressed within dream imagery. There is equal information expressed within waking imagery, in all of its abstractness. But you do not look for that.
You also allow yourself much more flexibility within your dream imagery. You do not necessarily create a purple feline in your waking imagery, but the purple feline that you create in your dream imagery is equally as real as a yellow feline within your waking imagery. You also do not necessarily allow yourself to fly in waking imagery, or to levitate, unless you are within a vehicle. Within your dream imagery, once again which is just as real, you do not necessarily need a vehicle.
KEVIN: So, I was recently in my own dream or hypnogogic state, another one of those cases where, for myself, I wasn’t really sure. I had laid down to take a nap, and more and more I’ve been having problems, I wouldn’t call it problem, but an issue identifying... I’ll lay down and think I’ve been sleeping for three hours, but was I actually asleep? Sometimes it doesn’t feel like I slept at all. It feels like I was just laying there thinking the whole time, and yet I feel like I have slept.
One time this happened when I was taking a nap, and I had this experience where I was in a mall with Kat. She had said, “I want to go look in this store over here, in this window.” I wanted to go on up ahead, and I said, “I’m going to go up ahead and look up here instead.” The next thing I know, I’m standing up there, looking at whatever I was looking at in whatever store, and I looked back and I see myself standing next to her. Like I said, this was in a hypnogogic state. I had the sense that here I am, standing here looking in this window, and yet I’m back there, standing next to her. As she and I turned and started walking this way, we merged. I merged with the one walking this way.
ELIAS: Which is imagery that you have presented to yourself concerning the reality that you can and do create more than one reality within any time framework. You can create two, or several, realities simultaneously, and they are all equally as real, which also is associated with what we have been discussing concerning dreams. For, they are both real experiences. Therefore, you are accomplishing in both experiences. They may be quite different, but they are two realities that you allow yourself to create. As you continue widening your awareness and shifting, that veil of defining one as waking and one as dreaming becomes thinner and thinner, and you begin to merge the awarenesses more to the point in which you are objectively aware continuously. In that, you may surprise yourself with what you can generate and how you can be creating more than one reality in the same time framework.
KEVIN: So that is something we do often, then, in our choices?
KEVIN: Often times, when we make a choice, we’ll be actualizing both choices and only be aware of one?
KEVIN: Does it happen often like that, where one catches up with the other? You’ve made a choice and later on down the road, those choices bring you back to a convergence point?
ELIAS: It can, if that is what you choose. It is not an automatic action. It is not an inevitable action. It is not a cause and effect. But it can, if that is what you choose to create.
KEVIN: I wanted to return to the focus for just a moment, the focus that we spoke about earlier. Is this somebody that I can research in history and find?
ELIAS: I may express to you that you may research evidence of the individual but not necessarily the individual himself.
KEVIN: Was he ever caught?
KEVIN: I was telling Mary and Lynda, not long ago I had been reading on a message board where an individual was talking about an experience where they had seen blue dots or blue flashes that you had expressed to them was your interaction with them. That day, I went to lay down for a nap, and as I laid down, I got a blue flash and was like oh, of course, I just read about that, obviously I was making this happen. As soon as I closed my eyes again, it happened again.
ELIAS: Yes. I am not easily dismissed!
KEVIN: No, I guess not. (Laughter) Another experience I had not long ago, I was talking to Kat, and she has a fascination with sayings and where they come from. One she had mentioned was “close but no cigar.” She said, “I wonder where that saying came from, ‘close but no cigar.’” At first, I was like I don’t know. Then, suddenly I had this flash of me with a cigar in my hand, dressed kind of in the same time period as the Jack the Ripper, the 1800s or whatever time period or earlier. I was at a fair, watching the hawkers and people. I suddenly said, “Well, actually, it’s from when you do a thing at the fair, the carnival, and you don’t quite make it. You don’t get the cigar.”
KEVIN: That’s where the reference to the cigar comes from. I’m sitting there going wow, this information and where did it came from? I was wondering if that was a connection with another focus, or was that just a general access of information type of experience?
ELIAS: Both. You are accessing information, but you are also accessing that information through another focus that incorporates the experience of that information. And you are correct, that is how this cliché has been initiated. Cigars previously were a valued prize.
KEVIN: Another thing I want to talk about a little bit was duplicity, the idea of duplicity. In reading about the information that has been presented on belief systems and the action of acceptance as opposed to elimination of belief systems, one point I was reading where you were speaking with an individual — I don’t remember who it was — but you were basically saying you don’t eliminate the belief system, you eliminate the judgment. Rather than applying the judgment, you eliminate the judgment, and that is incorporating acceptance. Wouldn’t duplicity be identified as the judgment, though?
ELIAS: Yes, but as I expressed to individuals that they would be eliminating the judgment previously, that was a figurative expression, which I have clarified, for you are not eliminating duplicity. It is a belief system also, and therefore, you are not eliminating it either, any more so than any other belief system. But what you are incorporating is a modification.
You continue to express your own judgments, for you incorporate your own opinions and your own preferences, and obviously, what your preferences are, you deem to be good. You incorporate your own opinions in which you express your own guidelines of how you express yourself and you present yourself and you express your behavior. Those are what you deem to be good, also. You may continue to be incorporating the judgment that other expressions and behaviors are bad, and therefore, you shall not engage them; but you are modifying that in acceptance, in recognition that they are not absolutely bad, that there is no absolute right and wrong, or good or bad. It is relative to the individual. You may not necessarily agree with certain manifestations or expressions or behaviors, but that is not to say that they are necessarily bad. They may be bad for you, but they are not necessarily bad in general.
Therefore, what you are doing is relaxing that expression of judgment. Yes, you are continuing to express some judgment, but not necessarily in an absolute manner. You begin to relax that in recognition that there are no absolutes and that your right is not absolutely right and that another individual’s wrong is not absolutely wrong. Even your terms are not absolute. Even terms that appear quite black and white — yes and no — do not always mean yes and no.
Therefore, in recognizing that there are no absolutes, you incorporate your judgment in association with your own guidelines, but do not necessarily express them in association with other individuals. You recognize that you may be generating cooperation and not necessarily incorporate agreement. Agreement is not a requirement for acceptance or cooperation.
KEVIN: I have one more question and then we’ll give Mary a break here. So, my own duplicity with regard to judging my judgmentalness, is this something that contributes to my scattered nature, the fact that I try not to incorporate judgment, and have, even long before I brought myself to the information that you are putting out? I always thought that being judgmental was bad. Is that something that lends itself to my scattering as well as the...
ELIAS: Somewhat. If all judgment is bad, preferences would be bad, and preferences are not bad — unless they are preferences that you do not like. (Laughter)
KEVIN: Well, thank you very much, Elias.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome. We shall break and continue subsequently.
KEVIN: Thank you.
(BREAK at 1 hour, 5 minutes)
KATHLEEN: With me, this time.
ELIAS: Very well!
KATHLEEN: Just to give you a little bit of background, I haven’t read the forums like Kevin has, so I’m coming to this completely fresh. I would also like to know the things that Kevin asked about at the beginning, such as essence name.
ELIAS: Essence name, Tina. Essence family, Sumari; alignment, Zuli; orientation, common.
KATHLEEN: And element?
KATHLEEN: The first major issue that I would like to ask you about is my physical form, specifically my weight. I’ve always had an issue, a problem with my weight. Before we were married, I was able to lose a lot of weight, but then I put it right back on again. I’m not happy with the way I am. I’ve tried the acceptance route. I’ve tried just accepting the way I am and dealing with it that way, but I don’t find that’s working. I’m wondering if there’s something else I need to be doing to accept myself the way I am, or if I should just go with my belief systems and try and lose the weight in the manner that I know works, and go in that direction.
ELIAS: Very well. This is an interesting subject matter. It is expressed by many individuals, but each of them are unique.
Now; in addressing to this situation with you, individually, the reason that it is unproductive for you to be moving in this concept of acceptance of your physical appearance is that that is precisely what is being expressed, the concept. For genuinely, you are not accepting.
Now; that is not bad. What that generates is an automatic opposition within your energy to yourself. The more you oppose yourself, the more you generate what you do not want and the more you perpetuate that creation, for the more you concentrate upon it. You create what you concentrate upon.
In this situation, let me express to you, the idea of being accepting of your physical form in whatever manner it is manifest is interesting, or what you may term to be nice, but not necessarily realistic. For that negates choice and preference, and also negates a natural flow of energy and generates many judgments and discountings of yourself that are unnecessary, that if you are not accepting of your physical form in whatever it is manifest that you are not as enlightened as other people or you are not as spiritual or not as informed. I may express to you, this is ludicrous.
Every individual within your physical reality incorporates beliefs. You all filter all of your reality through your beliefs. The secret to beliefs is not to oppose them, to acknowledge them and to discover which influences of your beliefs you prefer, and how your energy flows in the most natural manner.
Some individuals incorporate beliefs concerning diet and exercising and what they should or should not consume to maintain what they prefer as what they perceive to be an attractive appearance. This is not shallow. It is a preference, and it is also, with some individuals, a method of incorporating a type of discipline and routine.
Some individuals prefer some element of regiment within their experience, for that generates more of a sense of comfort, routine — elements within your actions that you trust that you need not incorporate much concentration, for you are familiar with different actions, and that generates more of a calm. Regimented activities and some elements of rigidity are not necessarily bad. It is dependent upon the individual and what the individual’s natural flow of energy is.
Expressing that you are attempting to be accepting of a physical presentation of yourself that you do not like may be quite challenging to be actually accepting of, especially if you do not incorporate conflict in altering your behavior to accomplish the form that you do like, and especially if you have presented yourself with evidence that you can accomplish that.
It is not an indicator that your awareness is entirely widening merely that you express that it matters not what your physical presentment is, or that you can express that it matters not what your physical presentment is. That is not a measure of whether you are widening your awareness or not. What IS important is to be aware of not opposing yourself and allowing yourself your own natural flow, acknowledging that you incorporate preferences, and one of your preferences is a particular physical presentment.
Acknowledging that you incorporate this as a preference allows you to move into the next step of incorporating your method to accomplish that. In that, what you generate — rather than opposing yourself and rather than continuously discounting yourself that you are not accomplishing in the physical appearance, but you are also not accomplishing in genuine acceptance, and therefore, you merely discount yourself in any direction — rather than incorporating that hamster wheel, in allowing yourself to move with your natural flow of energy and incorporate more of a regimented routine of your dieting method, that actually reinforces your acknowledgment of yourself and your trust of your ability to accomplish generating what you want.
You ALL incorporate methods. They are not bad. It matters not. You are creating all of your reality. If you incorporate a method to accomplish a particular desired action, it matters not. What is significant is that you allow yourself the freedom to accomplish. The manner in which you accomplish the most significantly and the most effortlessly is to not be opposing yourself, not be opposing your beliefs. Your beliefs are not your enemy, and they incorporate many, many influences. This is wherein your freedom lies, not merely recognizing a belief but recognizing all of the different influences that it incorporates and choosing which influence you more prefer.
Therefore, I would express to you the suggestion that you allow yourself to incorporate your method and acknowledge yourself and appreciate yourself in that method as your natural flow of energy, and acknowledge and appreciate that in generating that natural flow and not opposing yourself, you allow yourself to create a physical manifestation that is not merely pleasing to other individuals but is very pleasing to you, which allows you also to appreciate your own esthetic beauty, which also is associated with your alignment. That is a natural quality that you express, an appreciation of beauty and form. Why should you not appreciate your own beauty and form and acknowledge that?
KATHLEEN: Kind of related to that, recently I’ve experienced something that I like to call distal anxiety. For example, at night when I’m in bed and my feet are at the bottom of the bed, it feels like I want to pull them up. It feels almost like they are vulnerable away from my body, same with my hands. I don’t like dangling my fingers down off the side of the bed. It feels almost like I get anxiety. I get the feeling that something is going to happen, something is going to reach up from under the bed and grab me, or something like that. It seems like this very childish fear that I have. I linked it, in my head, to my weight, in that I want to keep everything to do with my physical form close to myself, somehow. I also linked it to not being able to lose the weight, not being able to let go. I don’t know if that’s a true connection or not, but it was something that just hit me.
ELIAS: I may express to you that your impression concerning your desire to hold your physical body consciousness energy to yourself is correct, but the element of not allowing yourself to let go is a misunderstanding. In this, it would also be associated with your alignment. In that genuine appreciation of physical, there is also an expressed desire to generate that in harmony with you.
Now; what is being confused is that you are separating YOU from your physical body. Therefore, you create a perception in which you are one entity, and your physical body consciousness is another entity. There are two entities within the form. But there are not; it is all one.
This is what generates this anxiety in association with the physical body and appendages of the physical body, for they are extensions and are not viewed as the incorporation of the center element. As extremities or extensions of the center element, there is a slight, not considerable, but a slight association of less control and less balance. You are attempting to generate one center point, similar to a ball. But you are not a ball, and in this, as you allow yourself to relax within your energy and perhaps allow yourself to be present genuinely with yourself in the moment and merely allow yourself to experience the actual physical sensation and feeling of your arms, your hands, your legs, your feet, and the buoyancy of them, recognize that the energy that is within them is flowing within all of you. Therefore, they are not a part of you; they ARE you. You are not sectioned into parts. In this, you may allow yourself perhaps less of an anxiety and more of the connection with all of you rather than sectioning yourself.
Also, allow yourself to incorporate moments periodically in which you visually incorporate your hands and your feet and genuinely allow yourself to appreciate their beauty as en element of your beauty and of your energy. In a manner of speaking, you have translated a particular energy and associated it with your hands and feet. That is an underlying energy that generates a questioning, almost a fear, that this attractive energy that you possess may be taken from you. You transfer that to your actual hands and feet, for they are the elements of your physical body that generate actions of doing. Therefore, they become the object of the questioning and the fear.
Your feet are what allow you to move in association with exercising. Your hands are what allow you to move in association with consumption. Therefore, they also become the center of blame, and that generates suspicion or anxiety, and it generates an association that they are somehow disconnected from you and your desire. But in actuality, they are not the enemy, either. Rather than generating the suspicion, perhaps you may acknowledge these elements of your body, that they are also instrumental in aiding you in accomplishing what you want.
KATHLEEN: My next issue has to do with my work, my job. I began it with a great love for teaching. I’m a teacher. It’s consistently gotten less and less fulfilling for me. My current job is a teaching job, but it is very different than the job I started with about four years ago. I find that I’m having trouble just waking up, just going to the job, and I don’t know why that is. I don’t know why such a change has occurred in my life over only about the four-year period.
ELIAS: What were you doing?
KATHLEEN: When I started? I was teaching science to a classroom, several classes. I was trained in science. Now I’m teaching students one-on-one. I’m teaching students that are deaf or hard of hearing, and it’s not a classroom setting anymore. I’m traveling school to school to school.
ELIAS: And what motivated you to incorporate that choice?
KATHLEEN: It was a permanent job, basically. When I was teaching science, it was a temporary job. So, my choices were basically stay teaching science temporarily with no job security, or go into this role I’m in now with support from my family, and have a permanent job. It has a lot of job security, so that’s the direction I went. Now I’m regretting it.
ELIAS: And what is your actual desire?
KATHLEEN: My desire, it’s come to me very strongly over the last few months, is to be in music and to create. I love writing music; I love singing. As my love of my current job is disappearing, I realized that there are a lot of other things that I’d rather be doing in regard to music and creating. I don’t know if that’s the direction I should be going, because the job security in that direction is pretty much nonexistent. Again, it’s a fear thing. I can’t just quit my job tomorrow because of the whole job security, I believe I need money coming in to live, and all this kind of thing. But at the same time, I want to be doing music. I want to be creating, I want to be performing, that sort of thing.
ELIAS: Very well. Remember, your reality is not black and white, and it is not a situation of either/or. Therefore, in conjunction with your beliefs and your fear, not opposing that but acknowledging that and recognizing that it is quite real, perhaps we may explore other directions or other choices that would not generate an overwhelmingness and trigger that anxiety or fear, for that defeats the purpose.
Individuals generally express an automatic association that strength is expressed in facing the fear and moving beyond it. That may not necessarily be strength; that may be uninformed, and somewhat at times ludicrous, for that is merely an attempt to ignore the fear, which, dependent upon the degree of the fear, it may not necessarily easily be ignored.
Now; I may express to you as I have to your partner, money is easily generated, and you may create it in whatever action you choose. But the difference in how I shall express to you, as conversely to your partner, is that you actually do know what you want and do know what your preferences are, but you also incorporate a fear. Acknowledging the fear and not opposing that is important, for in acknowledging it, that is the beginning step to dissipating it. Fighting with it merely perpetuates it.
But fighting with yourself and opposing yourself in association with your preferences is also accomplishing a similar action. It is choking your motivation, and continuing in that action, it is quite likely that you shall immobilize yourself. Therefore, the point is to be discovering other choices. You appreciate and value and enjoy the role of teaching. You also want to be allowing yourself to express your own creativity. One choice may be to continue temporarily with your current employment but perhaps incorporating less time and allowing yourself to engage your creativity also in association with your appreciation of teaching.
If you overlap both, incorporating your skills and your talents in harmony with each other, that allows you another avenue to reinforce your own trust of your ability to generate what you want without incorporating the dependency upon establishments to provide your sense of security. It allows you to present evidence to yourself that you incorporate the ability to provide that yourself but not overwhelm yourself in the black-and-white: either I stop with my current employment and hurl myself into my creativity and become overwhelmed and generating anxiety, for I am not quite ready to trust my abilities that fully. There is no wrong expression with practice or offering yourself incremental movements.
Perhaps even another avenue may be to reincorporate an employment with a temporary classroom that you enjoy, and also incorporate your creativity, generating your own environment of teaching with your creativity, with your music, allowing yourself a viable avenue to generate income but also generating a creative outlet and an action that is satisfying your preferences and what you want simultaneously — reinforcing your trust of yourself and your ability, allowing you incrementally to relax more and more within yourself, and to more and more realize and know that you actually can accomplish quite successfully in generating your own creativity, doing what you want, doing what you prefer, and satisfying also your want to be generating income.
Be open to choices. You always incorporate many more options than merely two. If you are genuinely paying attention to yourself, you shall present yourself with information in what other choices are possible that you may engage. Remember, no choice is set in stone. No choice is unchangeable. You may incorporate any choice in any moment, and experiment in creating your own treasure hunt of what is your most satisfying expression and your most fulfilling expression. As you experiment, if you engage one direction and you discover that it is not entirely to your preference, it may be altered. You always incorporate choice. You can always change and move in a different direction. The key is listening to yourself and paying attention to the information that you are offering to yourself, which you already are doing, to a point. You are aware. You merely are hesitating in implementing, but the largest challenge has already been accomplished.
You know what you want; you know what your preference is. That is a significant challenge for many individuals. In this, now it is merely a matter of offering yourself permission to implement and actually generate that want and those preferences.
KATHLEEN: Sort of in relation to that, the musical creativity that I’ve had throughout my entire life — my family is very musical — I’ve always had a passion for animals, nature. To me, those two things seem almost at odds with each other. They don’t seem to be related, and yet I was wondering if somehow they are both related to my intent in a way that I’m not seeing.
ELIAS: Partially. This is also associated with your alignment. The Zuli family incorporates a tremendous quality of appreciation for creativity, for beauty in any form and for all physical expression. It is in their qualities — the embodiment of consciousness, the wonderment of translation, of creating things from no-thing. In this, although there is also an element of appreciation of objects, to an extent, the Zuli, as the complement to the Milumet, expresses more attention of their appreciation of physical expression in association with what you term or define to be living manifestations. The Milumet, in its complement to the Zuli, generates a strong attraction to manifestations that may not necessarily be deemed living — stones, gems, pretty things. (Smiles)
Now; in this also, another avenue of your creativity and your preference may be associated with creatures or even vegetation, plants. For, the incorporation of musical sounds are accepted in energy by both, and each are quite responsive. Plants are quite responsive to musical tones, and that can even be incorporated in association with creatures in healing elements.
Once again, there are many avenues and many options that you may explore in your treasure hunt in association with your creativity and your preferences, and they are actually linked. Although surfacely or initially they may not appear to be so, they are, quite, which may be another avenue for exploration in other actions you may incorporate also, not limiting yourself merely to other individuals, but perhaps even incorporate interaction in which you may incorporate your talent, your creativity to be offering some element of connection and an offering of the energy to other manifestations other than individuals.
KATHLEEN: I wanted to ask about the possibility of mentioning you, Elias, if I was to write music. Since meeting Kevin, I have been greatly inspired as to the content of my lyrics in my music and the message. I just wanted to get your permission to potentially use your name in a song.
KATHLEEN: Thank you. I’ll make sure it’s all right with Mary, as well.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well.
KATHLEEN: Probably one of the last things I wanted to ask about was something similar Kevin wanted to ask as well. Both of us seem to have had what we would call a charmed life. Things have come very easily to us, me specifically. My childhood was wonderful, my parents were wonderful, my family very supportive. They still are. I’ve never had any major traumas in my life. I very easily have found work, and it seems like things have just fallen into my lap, almost. I partly think maybe there is some significance to the fact that Kevin and I are together. We both have experienced this type of life. I don’t know if you can give me, us, any insight into that.
ELIAS: This is the reason, one of the reasons, that you have drawn yourselves together with the intention of coupling. You express many similarities, but you also express a complement to each other in each of your natural flows of energy and each of your challenges. Your challenges are different, but they complement each other. Therefore, each lends an energy to the other in each of your challenges, of supportiveness in automatic manner, for it is a natural expression for you, and that generates an encouragement to each of you, which also is helpful in your own acceptance of yourselves, and is helpful in paying attention to yourselves. In moments in which you may lose sight of that direction, you incorporate the other as a reflection to remind you.
KEVIN: So that would go back to the fact that she understands her preferences, whereas I have a hard time seeing my own. This is how we help each other out, so to speak.
ELIAS: Yes, that is a complement energy to your energy, which is helpful to allow you to pay more attention to you and be more aware of your energy and discovering your preferences. You naturally in different expressions in your complement to each other express yourselves as an example to the other in different manners.
Therefore, in different manners, in different scenarios, you each are expressing yourself to the other as the straight little sapling, not attempting to fix or to alter the other sapling. But in the presentment of yourself, you present the example and the encouragement. In what you question within yourself and oppose within yourself, you generate a calm and do not question or oppose. In what you question or discount or scatter within yourself, you present a clarity as an example. Therefore, you generate a complement between the two of you, which is beneficial to you each.
KATHLEEN: Can you give me any insight into any of my other focuses?
ELIAS: Such as?
KATHLEEN: Kevin has an idea or had an idea of what his maybe was, at least one. I have no idea. Besides my love of music and my love of animals and nature, I get no feelings as to what other focuses I might have. I just wondered if you could maybe give me an idea, or is that something that’s left to me?
ELIAS: I may express to you the challenge to investigate. Allow yourself, in a playful manner, either in moments in which you are engaging your music, to generate an openness, and do not discount whatever moves to you. Do not discount it as imagination, but allow whatever impressions shall flow. In generating that action, you create more openness and much more of an ease to allow yourself to accept the impressions that you offer to yourself, which are genuine communications.
Also, perhaps, in different time frameworks, you may incorporate the action of generating a relaxation and a visualization. Do not expect, merely allow, and do not discount but allow yourself to merely accept whatever you present to yourself in the visualization. As you generate that action, you shall create more and more imagery, which shall offer you more and more information.
Remember, this is a choice. It is not necessary to investigate other focuses. You may move throughout this focus not incorporating any objective knowledge of other focuses, and there is no less enlightening information in that. It is merely a preference. Some individuals choose to be investigating other focuses; some do not. I do encourage, for the most part, individuals to be generating some investigation of other focuses merely for the reason that it allows you to genuinely expand your perception of yourself as essence, that you are not merely this one manifestation, that you genuinely are this vast expression that is limitless and boundless. But some individuals allow themselves that experience without investigating other focuses.
I shall express to you that you do incorporate some notable focuses within the expression of music — some musicians, some that sing. You also do incorporate a particular focus that does generate experience throughout the focus with creatures, many creatures. I may express to you, you also engage a counterpart action with the individual that generates a bond and training with tigers. This individual is quite famous in this time framework.
KEVIN: Somebody like Siegfried and Roy?
ELIAS: Yes, that is the individual. You incorporate counterpart action with that individual, which also influences your connection with creatures.
KEVIN: Well, we’ve got a few minutes left. I just wanted to ask very quickly, do Kat and I share quite a few focuses?
KEVIN: I read where you spoke about this shift basically began in our timeframe, around the turn of the last century.
KEVIN: Aleister Crowley, he seemed to believe that he was kind of a messiah for this age, for lack of a better term, obviously an interpretation of his feelings of the beginnings of this shift. Many of the things he speaks about in regards to the true will seem to have, again, an interpreting of what I see as acceptance.
KEVIN: This is something that I’m very fascinated with anyway, is finding the truth that runs through things for myself, whether it be in Christianity or Buddhism or any form of religion or mystical expression, as we would term them. Did Aleister Crowley interact with you?
KEVIN: Is that where he got the name Aiwass? Is that an interpretation of the name Elias?
KEVIN: I thought so. Did I have any interactions with Aleister Crowley?
ELIAS: Partial observing essence.
KEVIN: Interesting. What about Jung?
KEVIN: I very much was interested in his ideas of synchronicity and the collective unconscious, and basically came to the conclusion, myself, where he introduced the idea of meaningful experiences, that that kind of did away with the meaningless experiences, coincidences, that they are all meaningful. It’s just becoming aware of how. I felt very strongly about that.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Quite.
KEVIN: (To Kathleen) Did you have any other questions you wanted to ask, sweetheart?
KEVIN: We have about five minutes left. Is there anything you want to touch on for either one of us that you think would be beneficial for us to investigate or consider or...?
ELIAS: Merely an encouragement to each of you. Allow your freedom, allow yourselves to genuinely express. Do not complicate but allow yourselves to recognize your freedoms. Pay attention to your hesitations. When you hesitate, you are denying yourself. That is your indicator. There is another freedom that can be expressed beyond the hesitation.
KEVIN: They always say he who hesitates is lost!
ELIAS: Perhaps not lost, but...
KEVIN: Well, lost in the moment. (All laugh) You know what I had in mind.
ELIAS: Paying attention and being present in the now is very important. That is the point of your power, and you deny your power in projecting and not paying attention to the now.
And do not misunderstand. Paying attention and being present in the now is not to the exclusion of any other idea or any other time framework. That is a natural action that you all incorporate, somewhat projecting, but if you are projecting to the exclusion of the now, that is worthy of your attention, for that places you as the co-pilot within your plane — but there is no pilot. Therefore, the plane is flying itself. (Chuckles)
KEVIN: Thank you very much, Elias.
KATHLEEN: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my dear friends. I shall be offering my energy to you each...
KEVIN: I’ll try to be open to it.
ELIAS: Remember to be incorporating playfulness!
KEVIN: Oh, I think we do that plenty.
ELIAS: And I shall be offering you encouragement, also. To you each, in anticipation of our next meeting and in acknowledgment and appreciation of our friendship, au revoir.
KATHLEEN: Thank you, Elias.
Elias departs after 1 hour, 3 minutes.
(1) Originally expressed as “But the freedom that you shall allow yourself in noticing how often you actually generate that discounting of yourself, which is not creating a block.”
©2009 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.