Session 1749

Gender, Sexual Preference and Orientation


“Gender, Sexual Preference and Orientation”
“Changing Primary Aspects in Childhood”
“Changing a Threatening Energy”

Saturday, April 9, 2005 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Claire (Hilary)

(Elias’ arrival time is 19 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

CLAIRE: Good morning! I finally get to talk to you in the objective! (Elias laughs) And that’s kinda odd. I don’t usually ask people a lot of questions; I like to figure out my questions on my own. But I do want to try this. I’ve never tried this before.

I guess one of the things I want to talk about, and I might as well just get to it, is a situation at work. I have a co-worker who some gossip came out about him in the course of the last week. It was something I pretty much suspected, I already knew, but then it came out in the course of conversation with somebody else and other people got involved. I’m wondering if it’s triggering some issues I had a few years back in a similar situation, and I’m wondering if the two situations are tied energetically. Does that make sense?

ELIAS: Yes. Somewhat, for you are presenting yourself with similar imagery. That is a presentment to you to be paying attention and to be aware of your energy and what type of energy you are projecting and what you are participating with.

CLAIRE: I felt like one of the two options I have is to tell this person what’s been said, but if I did that, I would probably be escalating things and lending energy to a situation I didn’t want to see propagated in my work place. Is that correct?


CLAIRE: The other issue I have is I do feel a connection with this other person at work in terms of he reminds me of a prior co-worker that I fell in love with. I feel that deep connection with this other person. Are the two men related energetically?

ELIAS: They incorporate similar energy to each other. What you are noticing in familiarity is that you have shared many focuses with each of these individuals.

CLAIRE: I’m aware of that. They’re not aware of that, but I’m aware of that.

ELIAS: Yes, which is not uncommon. Many times an individual may recognize a strong familiarity with another individual, and may know that they share many focuses together and that they have generated many experiences together, and the other individual may not objectively incorporate a remembrance of that; but it does not invalidate the individual that does recognize the familiarity.

CLAIRE: It’s a little difficult for me because I don’t want to pry into their privacy, because they’re not objectively aware of the things that I’m more aware of in terms of the connection there. I do have a great deal of affection for both of them, but if I express that, sometimes it’s seen as inappropriate, I think.

ELIAS: It may be dependent upon how you express that. For you may allow yourself to express yourself, and if you are not projecting any expectation in association with how you express yourself, it is received by the other individual with no threat and therefore may be more acceptable.

If you are projecting your energy and expressions of yourself and you ARE generating expectation in relation to the other individual, that alters the energy. That may be received as a threat and therefore viewed as unacceptable or inappropriate.

CLAIRE: Right, but that’s sort of a high-level concept, generating behaviors without expectations. I’m still working on that. (Elias laughs with Claire) The question I have is... I guess there’s no right or wrong on that. I’m not even going to ask about that.

The other question is about some obstacles that I’ve been generating. Like the last time I tried to schedule a session with Mary, that’s a very good example of what I’m doing. I want something, I go for it, and then I block myself. I block the creation at the very last minute. Is that a question of expectations again?

ELIAS: Partially, but partially not. It is partially expectations that you incorporate with yourself, not necessarily with other individuals, but it is also partially associated with discounting yourself and doubting your ability to actually accomplish.

CLAIRE: The thing is, in the past I have been able to go forward, at least I view, in much more of a free flow in my finances, in my job. Now my belief systems have changed significantly, and for some reason that makes me doubt myself.

ELIAS: What has occurred is you are choosing different influences of the same beliefs, and that alters your reality, for it alters your perception, and your perception creates your reality.

In this, what you are experiencing is also not uncommon. For many times individuals shall allow themselves a time framework in which they are choosing influences of their beliefs that are more in keeping with their preferences, and therefore, they generate much more of an ease in their movement and much more of an ease in creating what they want objectively.

But periodically, you may choose what you would term to be old familiar influences of certain beliefs, and that alters what you are creating. Thusly, you may begin creating what you do not want, and I am understanding that that generates an easy direction for doubt. But what is significant in these types of examples is to be paying attention to what you are actually doing and what type of energy you are projecting, allowing yourself to identify what the influences are that you are choosing now and how they are different from what you were choosing previously.

CLAIRE: What do you mean by “influences”? Beliefs?

ELIAS: Every belief incorporates many, many, many influences. This is wherein your freedom lies. For it is not a situation in which one belief incorporates one influence and you are locked to that one influence. In that situation, it would be feasible to be changing beliefs.

As I have expressed many times previously, you are not changing beliefs and you are not eliminating your beliefs, but you are becoming more aware of your beliefs and now are beginning to recognize that each belief incorporates many different influences. You can choose which influence is more in keeping with your preferences, which therefore allows you to objectively intentionally create what you want.

CLAIRE: So for example, in the book I’m writing about money, you’re influencing me with that book, is that correct?

ELIAS: I am offering energy in helpfulness.

CLAIRE: I think I’m being a little bit linear about the whole thing. I was beginning to see that there are a lot of things that I may not have a grasp on, a lot of influences maybe.


CLAIRE: They are very vague to me right now. So as I’m writing this, I’m thinking it’s not as straightforward as I think. You identify a belief, say in terms of the male/female beliefs, how males desire status and females desire intimacy. That’s a belief system, right?


CLAIRE: And that has different influences. But then there’s intermediates and commons and softs, and depending on what you are, you may have a different view of that belief system. Is that what you’re saying about influences?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. There are many influences that may be expressed in many different manners. If you are exploring the belief of gender, and you are more specifically examining male gender or female gender, there are many different expressions that are attributed to each gender; there are many qualities that are attributed to each gender. But those qualities or those expressions are influences of the belief of the male gender or the female gender. Any of those qualities may be attributed to either gender and are not innate qualities to either gender, but that is not to say that they are not very real. They are very real, for they are expressed beliefs. They are influences of those expressed beliefs that you align with, and therefore, they influence your perception to generate that reality.

Those influences of the belief generate an effect in association with perception, and thusly, perception creates that actual reality and it is quite real. It is not true and it is not absolute, but this is a sufficient example of a truth, which is what you are all addressing to now in association with this wave in consciousness.

This would be an example of one of your truths, which would be the association of genders, male and female, and what qualities are attributed to them. This is actually what you would term to be a good example of a truth, for this offers you an example of how absolute you are concerning certain qualities or certain expressions attributed to either gender, and how those absolutes are unquestioned. You perceive them to be factual and that they merely are what they are, and therefore, they are absolutes and are not questioned.

In this, it offers you the opportunity to genuinely examine how strong those absolutes are and also to recognize that in actuality they are not absolute. They may be...

CLAIRE: I could be saying they’re not absolute, but the person next to me could be saying they are absolute...

ELIAS: Correct!

CLAIRE: ...then that makes a big conflict, because that person is shouting, “I don’t like this, this person is this way, that person is that way,” and then the gossip starts. It creates conflict. It does!

ELIAS: It can, and that is what you are all addressing to now, differences and the absoluteness of differences and how easily it is expressed to not be accepting of differences, but also offering yourselves information in relation to how to not be threatened by differences, how to incorporate an allowance within your perception by expanding your awareness, and offering yourselves more information to recognize that your truths are your guidelines.

Your truths are, even recognized, somewhat continuing to be absolute to you, but you also begin to recognize that that does not apply to other individuals, for their truths may be different and they are equally as absolute to them as yours are to you.

But the point of your truths is not necessarily to compare or that there are any one set of right truths, but to be recognizing that these are your individual guidelines for how you shall behave and what is valuable and important to you and how you shall generate your directions and what you prefer and what you do not prefer — but that does not necessarily apply to other individuals.

Now; the reason that it may become a conflict in association with differences is that one individual may be attempting to convince another individual that their truth is the singular right truth, or it may also be generated into a conflict if individuals are expressing defensiveness, which the convincing is also another expression for defense.

CLAIRE: You’re lending energy in opposition.

ELIAS: Correct.

CLAIRE: The confusing thing is we want to seek a solution — or at least I want to seek a solution — but when I seek a solution, I set an expectation that there is a solution.

ELIAS: I am understanding. And also, how do you define seeking a solution? What is your concept of seeking a solution? A compromise?

CLAIRE: I don’t think there can be, if one person is trying to convince you that their absolute truth is true and yours isn’t.

ELIAS: Correct. It is not a matter of comprise. It is also not a matter of acquiescing. It is a matter of recognizing that there are differences, and also expressing that acceptance and trust of yourself to which it is unnecessary to defend your truths.

CLAIRE: I wanted to get to some other things. There’s a woman I used to meet a lot in my astral projections or dreams, who I nicknamed Nina. Are you aware of her?


CLAIRE: What is her relationship to me? Is she a future aspect?

ELIAS: Future focus, yes.

CLAIRE: Is she a part of the Alterversity?


CLAIRE: She doesn’t meet with me that much anymore. Is it that she is not meeting with me, or that I am not aware that she is meeting with me?

ELIAS: Somewhat both.

CLAIRE: Is there a reason why we would want to continue meeting with each other?

ELIAS: That would be a choice, for it has been generated previously as a curiosity, and continued for a time framework in relation to that curiosity of each of you and somewhat of a playful adventure. But it would be your choice as to whether you want to continue or to alter the reason of your interaction.

CLAIRE: We had sort of a merging in a couple of instances, where I was asleep and I would wake up and be both her and me. What is that? Is that like a medium-ship thing?

ELIAS: Not actually. That is precisely what you have expressed. It is a mergence of two focuses. In that, what you are doing is you are suspending temporarily that separation and allowing yourself to experience an expanded you.

CLAIRE: What does she get out of it?

ELIAS: Similar.

CLAIRE: Really? She finds my view expanded? (Laughs) I know that’s discounting, but that’s funny!

ELIAS: It is not a matter of the individual viewpoint; it is more a matter of experiencing more of an expansiveness of self by recognizing that you are the other individuals also. Although they incorporate their own unique personality and choices, you are also that other individual, and that other individual is also you. In this type of experience, you suspend that separation temporarily and allow yourself to actually experience that expanded you.

CLAIRE: I kind of liked it! I thought it was kind of nice. I liked her view, because she had such a sense of connectedness with everything. Objective imagery wasn’t objective imagery to her. It was part of her.


CLAIRE: Am I a final focus?


CLAIRE: No?! I was so sure I was! (Elias laughs) Am I dispersed?


CLAIRE: I am! I was sure I wasn’t! (Elias laughs) Am I an emotional focus?


CLAIRE: My ex-husband, what’s his family and alignment?

ELIAS: And your impression?

CLAIRE: I didn’t think about it, but it’s probably Zuli. I don’t know what else it could be.

ELIAS: Family Zuli, alignment Vold.

CLAIRE: Vold — that explains so much! Is he common?


CLAIRE: My teacher in Australia, what is his family and alignment?

ELIAS: And your impression?

CLAIRE: He’s intermediate, but his family, I haven’t really thought of that, either. Sumari?


CLAIRE: Is that his alignment or his belonging?

ELIAS: Belonging.

CLAIRE: Could his alignment be Ilda?


CLAIRE: My daughter, her family, alignment and orientation?

ELIAS: And your impression?

CLAIRE: Intermediate, Borledim/Sumari.

ELIAS: Correct.

CLAIRE: How do I know these things?

ELIAS: They are impressions! (Laughs)

CLAIRE: But it was my impression I was a final focus! I was so sure about that, and I wasn’t sure about the dispersed. But that explains why I have the natural ability to project, right?


CLAIRE: I haven’t been projecting lately. Why is that?

ELIAS: That is merely a choice, and it is dependent upon how you are focusing your attention and what is holding your attention more strongly in any particular time framework.

CLAIRE: Right now I have a lot of things in the physical that are holding my attention.

ELIAS: Correct. You are incorporating holding your attention objectively within your physical reality quite strongly in this time framework.

CLAIRE: It’s not very pleasant right now for me! (Laughs)

ELIAS: Perhaps I may suggest to you that you incorporate somewhat more of a playfulness, and that may be more pleasant.

CLAIRE: I tried to incorporate playfulness with my co-worker, and he kind of told me to quit it! (Elias laughs) Playfulness with myself is what you’re saying, not with other people.

ELIAS: Both!

CLAIRE: Some people just don’t like it!

Did you dump the mirror off my daughter’s wall? Was that you? Or was it the butterfly painting? Was that you?

ELIAS: Partially, but also partially her energy.

CLAIRE: Oh! That was something I hadn’t thought about. What about the ball of lightening she saw at school? Was that you?

ELIAS: That was her translation of me.

CLAIRE: Other people saw it too. I thought that was odd.

ELIAS: Not necessarily. (Chuckles)

CLAIRE: What relation do you have to other people in my life, like my teacher in Australia?

ELIAS: I have been interactive in energy with many of the individuals that you interact with.

CLAIRE: But he is aware of you, isn’t he?

ELIAS: Somewhat, yes.

CLAIRE: Do you work with him in the soul rescue?

ELIAS: Somewhat.

CLAIRE: Somewhat? You’re being kind of secretive there.

ELIAS: (Laughs) It is not as overt as it may appear.

CLAIRE: You have sort of a British accent.

ELIAS: At times! (Laughs)

CLAIRE: So you’re saying I’m interpreting that as a British accent?


CLAIRE: When was the first time you and I were introduced, that we met each other in this focus?

ELIAS: As a child.

CLAIRE: Do I remember it?

ELIAS: I may venture to say to you that if you are allowing yourself to play with your recall of childhood, you shall incorporate a memory.

CLAIRE: What age?


CLAIRE: I don’t have any memories before the age of six! (Elias chuckles) Oh, you are terrible!

ELIAS: I would express to you an earlier age, but I am aware that you would be incorporating considerable strain to be remembering of that. Ha ha ha!

CLAIRE: Was I not in my body before the age of six? What’s the deal with that?

ELIAS: I may express to you, you were very much within your body. But this is also not unusual. Many individuals within the time framework that you would classify as early childhood may be expressing one primary aspect of themselves and at some point within early childhood may choose a different primary aspect to be expressed. In that difference, the individual may choose an aspect that is quite different from the one that was being expressed previously. As I have explained, in generating that type of alteration of primary aspects of self, generally speaking the individual does not incorporate an objective recall or memory of the experiences of the previous primary aspect.

Some aspects may change, and there shall be a continuation of the objective memory of experiences. There may be some noticings of some different qualities expressed within the individual, but they continue to not interrupt their objective memory of previous experiences. But if you engage a primary aspect that incorporates a significant difference from the previous one, the objective memory is interrupted, and it appears to you as though several of your years never occurred.

CLAIRE: Is there a way to bridge that?

ELIAS: Yes, you can. You can engage the other aspect of yourself and pull the memory to the new aspect or to the present primary aspect through meditation, through visualizations, through projections. Actually, meditation would be the most efficient method to be engaging that type of action.

CLAIRE: Right now, is my throat chakra clear or is it blocked? I don’t seem to have much expression there.

ELIAS: It is somewhat restricted.

CLAIRE: How can I open that up a bit more?

ELIAS: Allowing yourself to relax and also allowing yourself to notice and be aware of your hesitations.

CLAIRE: That have to do with self-expression?


CLAIRE: In terms of personal or intimate relationships, would another intermediate... You know the gender beliefs we were talking about?


CLAIRE: It seems like intermediates are really influenced by them.

ELIAS: In what manner?

CLAIRE: In terms if you’re a female in a male body, it seems like the sexuality might be influenced. Does that make sense?

ELIAS: Yes. In this, how are you associating that with orientation?

CLAIRE: In terms of if I’m a female and an intermediate, which is what you stated to somebody else before, I align a lot with the feminine and I’m attracted to males. For instance, if I was an intermediate and I have a female orientation and I have a male body, does that make me more likely to be attracted to males?

ELIAS: The orientations are not associated with preferences; they are not associated with sexual preferences. That is entirely different, and that may be associated to any orientation. What you are confusing is my initial introduction of the orientations and identifying them with genders.

Now; subsequently, I altered that and assigned different terms to each of these orientations, which you are aware of: intermediate, common and soft.

Now; in this, what may be associated in relation to gender with the orientations is the association of a type of energy. You associate in your physical reality all of the manifestations in your physical reality with gender. This is an element of the duality of your particular physical reality, which is not bad; it is an element of the blueprint of this reality. In that, you associate a particular type of energy with these genders. You associate the intuitive with female and the intellectual with male. In relation to orientations, the common would be more associated with the male, but merely as an expression of the intellectual. The intermediate would be more associated with the female, but merely in relation to the intuitive. The soft incorporates both.

Now; in this, any other association with gender or the beliefs associated with gender or preferences associated with gender are not associated with orientation. It matters not what orientation you incorporate. You could be expressing a male energy and incorporate a female body type. You could be expressing a female energy and female qualities and have chosen a male body type. You can...

CLAIRE: Would our belief systems about how women and men are expected to act influence how a person chooses their sexuality, their preference?


CLAIRE: We could all be both, right?

ELIAS: Correct.

CLAIRE: But because of our belief systems, social expectations and our orientation all combined together, we may choose to align with one gender rather than the other, even though we’re all both, right?

ELIAS: Correct. You associate with one gender and the qualities that are assigned to that one gender, but that also is associated with your beliefs and your preferences.

CLAIRE: Going back to my co-worker... (Claire’s phone cuts off. The telephone connection is reestablished, and the session continues.)

ELIAS: Continuing.

CLAIRE: My co-worker, the one I’ve had many focuses with that I’m aware of and he’s not, he finds my energy threatening, doesn’t he?

ELIAS: At times.

CLAIRE: How can I not have any expectations of the situation? How can I best relate or communicate with him so I’m not threatening to him, or he doesn’t perceive it as threatening?

ELIAS: By allowing yourself to be expressing your own genuineness and your own gentleness. The reason that this individual at times perceives your energy as a threat is that he is receiving that energy of expectation from you, but also that he is receiving an energy that you are projecting which incorporates somewhat of a forcefulness with yourself. You are not expressing that gentleness with yourself, and that projects outward more of a forceful energy, which is perceived by the other individual as uncomfortable.

CLAIRE: At one point, he got very upset with me — he says he didn’t — but I received his energy as being upset and it’s been matching it. I told him I was very hurt by it, which is something that’s not my preferred pattern, but I opened myself up in vulnerability and it generated a dialogue between us. Is that the gentleness you’re talking about?

ELIAS: Somewhat, somewhat. Not in necessarily an expression of hurt, per se, but allowing yourself an openness and a gentleness with yourself. That projects a very different type of energy.

CLAIRE: I know you don’t like methods, but what’s a good method for this?

ELIAS: First of all, I may express to you that methods are not bad, and they are quite effective with most individuals.

In this, first of all, my suggestion to you is to notice your own hesitancies. They occur somewhat subtly but they occur frequently, in which you may not necessarily incorporate what you would perceive to be a large twinge of hesitation, but you do frequently signal yourself with hesitation. Those are moments that are valuable to pay attention to, for those are moments in which you are restricting your energy, and those are moments in which you begin to project a more forceful energy. For what you are doing is underlyingly questioning yourself and doubting yourself, and therefore, you attempt to override that doubt with a forceful energy, which defeats the point.

In those moments in which you are noticing your own hesitation, allow yourself momentarily to stop, notice that — do not push! — but acknowledge that you are experiencing a moment of hesitation, and allow yourself to appreciate some aspect of yourself. It matters not what it is. It matters not how insignificant it may appear to you in the moment. It genuinely matters not what you choose to appreciate, for the mere act of incorporating ANY expression of appreciation interrupts that automatic response and changes the energy that you are projecting.

CLAIRE: So if I start feeling hesitant... Like this Friday, I felt hesitant about going to pick up something near his area. I decided not to, because I get the impression that he’s threatened by me and I don’t like it, so I didn’t go.

ELIAS: Now stop. In that energy, that is an example of what type of energy you are projecting. You are generating an expectation and an anticipation of the other individual and their behavior and their energy. In that moment, you alter the energy that you are projecting and you begin to project a more forceful energy, and therefore incorporate a likelihood that you shall actually create that type of responsiveness from the other individual, for you shall be reflecting to yourself what you are projecting. However the other individual responds to you is a reflection of what your energy is generating within you.

CLAIRE: But it’s a careless energy; it’s something that’s automatic, like you say.

ELIAS: Correct. It is an automatic response. This is the reason that the incorporation of generating the action of appreciating is powerful, for it interrupts that automatic response.

CLAIRE: So if I get my nails done and I say I really like my nails, that’s an action of appreciating myself?

ELIAS: Yes. It matters not what the expression of appreciation is, it is the act of incorporating it that is powerful and significant. For that is what alters your energy and allows you to interrupt that automatic response, and therefore also allows you to more easily relax and notice the type of energy that you were beginning to project. That allows you to become more aware objectively of you and what you are actually doing and what type of energy you are projecting, and allows you to direct it more efficiently and intentionally objectively.

CLAIRE: I had it a little backwards. I was trying to appreciate others. You’re saying to appreciate myself.


CLAIRE: But I was close! (Elias laughs) I think I’m done; I think I’ve gotten to everything that I wanted to get to. I appreciate you meeting with me in the objective. I think I’d like to do this again sometime.

ELIAS: Ha ha! Very well! I shall be anticipating our next meeting!

CLAIRE: And we’ll continue to meet subjectively, too, right?

ELIAS: Yes! And I shall be reminding you of your own playfulness.

CLAIRE: (Laughs) Okay, I guess I’d better appreciate myself! Thank you so much. I guess I just get off and wait for Mary?

ELIAS: Very well. I shall express to you my great affection, and in new objective friendship, I offer my appreciation to you. In great fondness, my friend, au revoir.

Elias departs after 1 hour.

©2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.