Monday, April 4, 2005 (Private/In Person)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Jennifer (Margarite)

(Elias’ arrival time is 18 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

JEN: Good afternoon!

ELIAS: And what shall we discuss?

JEN: I don’t know — what do you want to discuss?

ELIAS: It is your choice.

JEN: I thought you might have some things you want to discuss. (Elias shakes his head) Okay. Well, let’s go through the list. Physical things, like why are my eyes bugging me? Why do I have congestion in my chest? Why do I recreate these viral things that Jared and I seem to share?

I’ll give you my impressions. Eyes, from not wearing my contacts, my eyes are burning. It might have to do with seeing, not the future but seeing where I want to go and seeing, being open to whatever that path might be. The burning, it feels like it limits me; my eyes feel tired. Maybe that’s metaphorical for feeling tired about the journey sometimes.

ELIAS: That would be more accurate.

JEN: Anything else you want to add?

ELIAS: Allowing yourself more of your own freedom.

JEN: In what capacity?

ELIAS: In all capacities.

JEN: I feel like I’ve given myself a fair amount of freedom, no?

ELIAS: Yes, you have, and you have altered your reality considerably.

JEN: Yes, we’re having a session in New Orleans! Pretty good, huh? (Elias laughs) But you’re saying there’s more freedom that I can allow myself. Would that be similar to the amount of freedom that I’ve given myself moving from Vermont to New Orleans?

ELIAS: Yes.

JEN: That’s a lot. Would that be leaving New Orleans, then?

ELIAS: Not necessarily. Not necessarily in altering your location, but in allowing yourself to be more expressive with yourself and allowing somewhat more of a playful energy with you.

JEN: Less serious.

ELIAS: Yes.

JEN: Can you give me an example? More playful energy with self?

ELIAS: Yes.

JEN: Laughing more...? I feel like I’ve become more playful.

ELIAS: You have. But you do incorporate somewhat of a rigidness with yourself — much less than you were previously. Allow yourself and your energy to flow as easily as you instruct others.

JEN: Were you with me this morning? (Elias chuckles) Always.

ELIAS: Always.

JEN: I try to focus on my breathing. I try to relax my face and my throat and my mouth. Chest congestion, all this phlegm that keeps coming up, is that similar to restrictedness?

ELIAS: What is your impression?

JEN: It seems like it’s restrictive in nature, because it gets in the way of being able to breathe fully. It feels like it’s a limitation, in a way, that I placed... It feels like it’s gotten better. I know it’s not because of a thing, like the incense that I use in class. I believe it’s more of a communication, but I haven’t always been able to alter it even if I feel like I know what it might be. Even if I feel relative certainty when I get that impression, it doesn’t mean it alters, either. That’s been frustrating, because it’s been going on since October.

ELIAS: Offer an example.

JEN: Of the sensation?

ELIAS: Of your noticing and your knowing of what you are doing and your inability to alter.

JEN: It could be the chest thing or it could be the illness that Jared and I share, sort of noticing it and then getting the communication that maybe it’s getting in the way of being expansive or some sort of limitation. So I turn my attention to self and I feel as though I’m noticing it, trying to notice also outside triggers.

ELIAS: Such as?

JEN: Well, maybe the kids, anxiety about the kids or anxiety about money or feeling like I’m not doing enough, usually self-beratement. I try to ease off that. Just by virtue of noticing, that in itself is a huge key to lessen the chest congestion. But it doesn’t seem like just by noticing you’re able to disengage whatever that trigger is.

ELIAS: Yes, for once you become familiar with a manifestation that you create, noticing of it is no longer a challenge. Noticing is almost as automatic as the creation of the manifestation itself.

JEN: So you move beyond noticing; you check that off the list. But now noticing is no longer as effective as it used to be.

ELIAS: Not in manifestations that you repeat and that you become familiar with.

JEN: So what’s the next step, then? To notice outside triggers?

ELIAS: That also, and what are you communicating to yourself, identifying. Remember? Noticing, identifying, addressing to.

JEN: Sometimes it comes up when I’m teaching. Sometimes I think maybe I’m getting tired of teaching. You’re losing your voice, and this sensation of drowning with this fluid often comes when I’m teaching.

ELIAS: But you are viewing that in black and white terms, of this is occurring, you notice that you are generating it, you notice the association with your class, but you move to the black and white of the manner in which you correct the unwanted manifestation is to discontinue your class. That is ONE choice.

JEN: Or teach less.

ELIAS: Or perhaps alter your method. Rather than engaging your class less often or not at all, perhaps engage the class in a different manner that is not generating friction with you. Allow yourself and afford yourself the same flow of energy and ease in energy that you are instructing to your class. Share the experience.

JEN: You mean just physically, without vocalizing?

ELIAS: You may choose what to be verbalizing. You may incorporate perhaps more action and less verbalization, sharing the experience rather than instructing the experience, being the example rather than teaching.

JEN: So just practicing myself.

ELIAS: Be the example. That is your form of instruction.

JEN: I can try that. I do a little of that now.

ELIAS: In association with the children, what do you notice?

JEN: Usually around Thursday of the week that they’re coming I notice a tightness in my body, definitely a restriction. I would call it fear and/or anxiety. Perhaps there’s some anger mixed in there, too. I feel like I don’t have choices. They’re coming, and sometimes I don’t want them to come. I would rather just have my relationship without the children of others.

I see all that and I know all that, and I try in the moment that it comes just to be with it and not to diminish it, because it is powerful. But I do wonder about that communication to myself. Am I telling myself that I don’t want to be in this situation with these kids, even though I’ve made a lot of progress in understanding why I feel certain ways and how they impact me and trying to take steps to make the situation less dramatic, traumatic, with the mothers and everything? But there’s also the knowingness that it’s kind of this life-long aspect of this relationship.

ELIAS: But you have choices.

JEN: I have choices; I see that. I’ll go away some weekends; I go out with friends some nights. And usually when I’m in the situation with the kids, it’s not usually that bad. I’m very appreciative that Jared’s made steps to make it easier to be a stepmom. But mostly I’ve taken those steps and I’m really proud of myself for doing that and not bailing, because I was going to.

I’m questioning that the intensity of the physical signal before they come is quite strong, and how much do you pay attention to that? If I was truly paying attention to the physical communication, I might be walking from this relationship, because it might be too much. Again, that might be black and white, leaving the relationship or not...

ELIAS: Yes.

JEN: ...or going away when the kids come or not. But I tried that, I tried leaving when the kids came or doing my own thing, but that didn’t work because I felt like I missed Jared and I missed the opportunity of being in this role, I guess.

ELIAS: The question is what do you want. Do you want to engage this role?

JEN: I guess I must, otherwise I wouldn’t have created it.

ELIAS: Not necessarily.

JEN: I don’t really know that I really want it. When I’m in it, it’s fine and I enjoy them. I can plan things for them and have fun with them. I can generally have fun with them. Do I really want it? No, because I perceive it as limiting my choices. It really hasn’t, but it’s more fear of my choices being limited futurely, because what if, God forbid, they want to live with us or something like that that more drastically alters my freedom.

ELIAS: First of all, one element in this is your lack of holding your attention in the now.

JEN: That’s what the fear is. The fear is definitely a future projection, because they’re not here in the now and the fear comes up and I know that. That usually helps me bring myself back in: what are you doing now?

ELIAS: Yes. That is one significant element in becoming more familiar with being present with yourself in the now and not projecting your attention futurely and not anticipating, for the anticipation is what generates the anxiety. Without the anticipation, the anxiety is neutralized.

In this, you also incorporate other choices. What is significant is that you allow yourself to genuinely evaluate what you ARE doing, not future. Generate the future to disappear.

JEN: Which is bring yourself into the now.

ELIAS: Yes. There is no future. And in that direction, allow yourself to evaluate genuinely what you actually want. What you are doing is questioning yourself. You are questioning what you want, and you are presenting to yourself different elements, different scenarios, but they are hypothetical, and you are questioning whether you want these hypothetical directions.

Within the time framework of two of your weeks, I suggest to you that you hold your attention each day being present in that day with yourself, and to be noticing not merely what you are doing — although that is quite significant — but also in each day within this two weeks, notice the moments in which you are restricting yourself, notice the moments in which you are generating anxiety. Evaluate what is generating that anxiety or that restriction, note your motivation, and question yourself as to what you want.

JEN: In that now?

ELIAS: Yes.

Now; within the time framework of your two weeks, in each day there shall be differences of what you are doing, and there shall be the intersection with you and these children, and there shall be a significant intersection with you and your partner.

Now; in being in each day, that allows you to more clearly evaluate what your preferences are, which shall offer you information in more clarity as to what you actually want. This is the beginning point, for you are bouncing between questions of what you should do, what you should not do, what do you want, what do you not want. But in all of those questions, you are offering yourself black and white choices. You are not allowing yourself to view other choices, other manners in which you may generate a cooperation with yourself and other individuals and satisfy your preferences, but not comply or compromise with yourself in your preferences.

There are many other choices that you are not offering to yourself yet, but the key in recognizing what any of your choices are is to identify what your preferences are first, what you actually want, and not to be black and white in your assessments concerning what you are doing. For expressing to yourself that you must want to be in a particular role or you would not have created that is not necessarily accurate.

You all create situations, scenarios, experiences that you do not necessarily want. But you are not aware of what beliefs are being expressed or what influences of those beliefs are being chosen, and you are not entirely accurately or clearly translating to yourself in thought what you actually prefer or what you actually want. For you are not paying attention to those beliefs or those influences of beliefs, and therefore, you are not offering accurate or enough information to your thought process to accurately translate what you actually want.

Now; there may be some elements of what you are doing that you do want. Your thought process is accurately translating that, but it might not be FULLY translating. There may be other aspects.

JEN: I do with the information that comes that I don’t want to be around the kids that much or be a stepmom.

ELIAS: If that is genuinely your preference and that is what you want, that also is not a black and white situation. That does not automatically suggest that you cannot incorporate the relationship with your partner. They are all separate individuals. They are not one...

JEN: I understand that, but there are a lot of beliefs behind it, too. But the fact is, as you’ve said a thousand times, we don’t get away from beliefs. It’s not like they get eliminated. The best you can do is neutralize them, to understand them, to see how they impact you and make choices accordingly.

ELIAS: And choose what choices are more in keeping with your preferences and that do not express conflict.

JEN: Yes. It’s a tough role, because belief systems around parenting are right up there with money and religion. Relationships are so strong.

ELIAS: But the point is, what you are expecting of yourself?

JEN: At this point, I’m just trying to expect for me to have fun. I would like that to be my expectation for myself, versus going in the direction of trying to be a good stepmom. I don’t give a shit, really. I can’t talk to the kids about this or that, because their mothers will get upset. That is a definite limitation on one’s choices. Of course, I have choices as to whether I listen and accept those as my own or not, but if not, there’s going to be certain potential ramifications that occur, and you know that.

Sometimes I find that I just get very tired. It’s not just the kid thing; it’s just life. It’s boring sometimes. Even though I have a great life, sometimes I just get, like I was telling my sister, sometimes I feel like I just get a little bit bored. I don’t know whether I’m looking for more excitement, or I’m just tired of the struggle that we all go through of accepting difference and getting to know self, accepting difference among other people and being okay with those differences. It just seems like we’ve got a long way to go on this planet before that’s going to happen. Sometimes I just get tired of it.

I read a really interesting article today that was in alignment with my beliefs, recognizing that those were my beliefs but recognizing that there was a whole plethora of other beliefs that would be in direct contradiction to mine, and trying to be okay with that because I know I can’t really change it all that much. All I can do is change me. That gets me in the direction of writing this book I’ve been thinking about writing, and I see no point in writing the book. For what?

ELIAS: For you.

JEN: But the book goes in a direction of attempting to change other people, and I don’t see the point.

ELIAS: And what is your motivation to change other individuals?

JEN: I would just like there to be a little more peace on this planet. I guess that would be my motivation, more of a genuine ease. But that’s my choice.

ELIAS: Precisely.

JEN: A lot of other people are not choosing that and that’s fine, that’s their choice. So there it is again. Why write a book about an idealistic world from my perspective?

ELIAS: Why indeed, if your intention and your motivation is to change other individuals.

JEN: And I know that’s not possible. I haven’t really done anything with the book lately because I felt a little bit like... I am still fascinated by commonalities amongst people, and I think there are a tremendous amount of commonalities. But I don’t know; the excitement behind it has waned a bit.

ELIAS: Your attention is considerably outside of yourself, is it not?

JEN: With the book?

ELIAS: With your world.

JEN: I guess so, but I feel like my attention has come more into me than it was two or three years ago.

ELIAS: You are quite correct, and I am greatly acknowledging of that. But you do concern yourself with the choices and the behaviors and the actions of other individuals quite strongly and that that continues to limit your choices, and it continues to be associated with creating part of your world.

JEN: Here’s an example. If I wanted to go somewhere and it doesn’t work out for other people to come along, gets too complicated, I just go. That seems like I’m taking care of myself. Even though I might feel bad if other people perceive it to be negative or whatever, ultimately I feel like I’m trying to recognize what my desires and needs are and then do them.

ELIAS: This is not what I am speaking of.

JEN: You are speaking that I am holding my attention outside of self.

ELIAS: In a considerable degree.

JEN: That is frustrating to hear!

ELIAS: Listen to what you have been expressing to myself. Yourself...

JEN: I’ve talked about my eyes, my chest — those are me.

ELIAS: No. You are speaking to myself of your relationship, your world, your environment, your lack of motivation, how you perceive your reality, how you are uninspired by your reality. You are expressing a considerable hopelessness and helplessness — your inability to change your environment or change your world, and therefore, what is the point.

JEN: But what is the point of writing a book?

ELIAS: What is the point of any of the actions that you are incorporating is the larger question. That is the energy that you are projecting, regardless of what you are saying.

JEN: Well, then maybe the point is not to focus in on any of that, and just try and have fun.

ELIAS: And to focus upon what YOU want and what YOU want to create. Let me express to you, there are individuals now that are beginning to recognize how they actually do create their reality in every aspect of it. In their world, in their reality, in their perception many of the actions and expressions and behaviors and issues that you view within your reality do not exist. They move about in their community quite physically just as do you, but what they perceive is very different, for they are not concerning themselves with what other individuals do or how other individuals express or what other individual’s behaviors are or philosophies are or beliefs are, and they are equally as physical as you.

The manner in which they generate this action is to not concern themselves with those elements of reality that they have concerned themselves with previously that are outside of themselves. This is not to say that these individuals function in utopia. They incorporate their challenges and their disappointments and their struggles just as you all do but in a very different perception, which allows for that inspiration and motivation. You continue to seek some utopia that is outside of yourself that you shall not find.

JEN: I feel like I have found more of a utopia...

ELIAS: You have...

JEN: ...where I live and how I spend my time and all that...

ELIAS: But you continue to be...

JEN: ...and you’re saying that I haven’t.

ELIAS: No, I am not expressing that to you. I have already several times acknowledged you in this conversation.

JEN: Right, but that is not enough.

ELIAS: But you are not satisfied yet.

JEN: Maybe I just should be satisfied.

ELIAS: Oh, you “SHOULD” be satisfied.

JEN: All right, forget the should.

ELIAS: But you are not, and that is the point. It is not a matter of whether you should be satisfied or not. You are continuing to discount yourself, for you HAVE generated such incredible alterations of your reality. This is the point, Margarite, is that you do credit yourself with the accomplishments that you have generated. They are considerable, and you have considerably successfully generated paying attention to yourself, allowing yourself to risk your own freedom and create that, and allow yourself permission to create what you want. But within you and within your energy, you are not satisfied yet.

JEN: Well, maybe I never will be. Maybe that’s an aspect of my energy. I’m just curious.

ELIAS: That would be a choice also. And you are comfortable with that choice?

JEN: Of course not.

ELIAS: Of course not — that is the point.

JEN: So you’re telling me that I need to be aware of the restrictions that I place on self.

ELIAS: Yes. When you hesitate, when you swallow your energy to appease, when you compromise.

JEN: It seems like in accepting differences amongst us all that that’s a part of it.

ELIAS: No, it is not.

JEN: Compromise is not a part of accepting differences?

ELIAS: No, compromise is an automatic discounting of yourself.

JEN: If you have differences amongst people and you want to be working towards a common goal, how could you not have compromise to get to that common goal?

ELIAS: You do not compromise.

JEN: So you don’t get to a common goal.

ELIAS: You may.

JEN: You may not.

ELIAS: It is dependent upon whether you cooperate.

JEN: Oh, so you’re calling it cooperation.

ELIAS: Cooperation is not compromise. It is not the sacrifice of one expression or one direction to accommodate another.

JEN: So did I compromise a lot this weekend?

ELIAS: And what is your impression and assessment?

JEN: To some degree. But I also felt like I enjoyed myself.

ELIAS: You did offer yourself considerable freedom, and you did allow yourself a considerable and fairly consistent expression of moving in your preferences and allowing yourself that.

JEN: So there’s some light at the end of my long tunnel. I would like to be done, cooked, finished, move on.

ELIAS: There is a considerable light in your tunnel!

JEN: Let’s talk for a second about this book, this book that I have been somewhat encouraged by you to endeavor into should mostly be — “should,” take that word lightly — about my vision, my little utopia, Jen’s little artwork. Right? That’s pretty much it — don’t get hung up on what other people think and whether people will agree and so forth.

ELIAS: It is YOUR creative expression. It is your contribution. There are other individuals that share similarities and that shall resonate with the energy and the information of your creative endeavor.

JEN: Seems like there’s a lot of books on the market, a lot.

ELIAS: And generally individuals enjoy books.

JEN: Not all individuals.

ELIAS: Not all. Do you wish to be incorporating your book with ALL individuals?

JEN: Yes!

ELIAS: Ah, for what purpose?

JEN: My ego.

ELIAS: Ah!

JEN: A lot of times I think about not writing this book because of my ego.

ELIAS: And why shall you deny yourself?

JEN: Because I go in the direction of grandiose ego-related thoughts regarding my book, and that doesn’t seem like the right reason to write a book.

ELIAS: It is an expression of you.

JEN: Do you know what I’m saying about the ego — and I’m not going into the Freud or Jungian direction here with identifying or defining ego — but that it too is outside of self, in a way.

ELIAS: In some manners, but it is...

JEN: It’s like the fast track to outside of self. Get on that ego train and the next thing you know you’re at outside of self station.

ELIAS: Perhaps or perhaps not. Perhaps you can incorporate that acknowledgment of what you term to be ego and appreciate your own greatness.

JEN: That gets a little heady, but I could try that.

ELIAS: It is an acknowledgment of yourself. You do incorporate greatness.

JEN: Don’t we all?

ELIAS: Yes. Why should you not acknowledge yours?

JEN: Because there’s an expectation with it.

ELIAS: Of what?

JEN: Actualizing the greatness.

ELIAS: Why should you not actualize the greatness?

JEN: Because I haven’t thus far. It seems like a lot of pressure.

ELIAS: Ah! Pressure of what?

JEN: To actualize the greatness.

ELIAS: Or perhaps it is not quite acceptable behavior to actualize the greatness.

JEN: It may not be acceptable; I have to mull that one over a little bit. But it’s almost like I feel the energy associated with it and how tremendously strong... It feels like it’s there, I’m here, and for me to get there, to actualize it, it feels very daunting.

ELIAS: I am understanding the association that you are generating.

JEN: It feels like it’s really far away, and I guess it feels a little scary.

ELIAS: But that is also a familiar action of projecting. Whereas, if you are incorporating the writing of your book and you are present in the day in your writing of it, generating that action as a fun creative activity rather than focusing upon the outcome and what may or may not occur in relation to the outcome but appreciating the process, in the appreciation of that process you actualize the outcome much more efficiently and effectively and much more successfully. The outcome becomes the beginning rather than the end, and that which you have described as being here and you are here (demonstrates by placing his hands far apart), now is here (brings hands together), and your end point of here is now the beginning point. Your outcome becomes your beginning to express your greatness.

JEN: Sounds fun; sounds easier. A big challenge about this book is about differences. Listening to what you had to say on Saturday and just recognizing it and watching people and seeing the differences, and I guess I had always thought that the angle of this book was to go after similarities. I think we all have them.

ELIAS: Yes.

JEN: It’s a slippery slope when you go in that direction of differences. You have to be really conscious that you’re not asking people to change or to align with a certain belief or that there is no God. I mean you might as well kiss the thought of publishing that book goodbye. I guess I have to consider who I’m writing the book for. I guess I really should just be thinking of writing for me.

ELIAS: Not necessarily, for an element in your motivation is to be sharing, is to be sharing information and experiences with other individuals, and the energy that you express in this book, in this writing, is specific to attract similarities. Therefore, that is the accomplishment that you are seeking, and that is what you shall generate, those individuals that do incorporate similarities, or those individuals that perhaps previously were more focused upon differences than similarities and shall be sparked to notice that there are similarities regardless of the differences.

JEN: So are you saying that the real estate and doing that is kind of a distraction from writing this book? Is that part of what you’re saying about not allowing my freedom?

ELIAS: No, I am not expressing that as a negative. That is another avenue that you are exploring and that may be somewhat satisfying to you. I may express that in being aware of your energy now that it may be a temporary exploration, not necessarily an ongoing lengthy exploration. For in the energy that you are expressing now, there is a strong potential that you shall become bored with that also.

JEN: Oh, I’m already bored with it. I knew I’d be bored with it. I did it because I wanted to make a little extra money which I did, which is great, and kind of have fun with it, you know?

ELIAS: Precisely. It has been another avenue of exploration, to experience differences.

JEN: It’s not, in your opinion, getting off the track. There is no track.

Sometimes I’m in my day — and I know my attention falls out of self to an extreme — and for instance, my mind will wander and I think about Jared and think about what if something happened and he cheated on me or something intense, or I’ll think about my sister and her flight home — is she going to be safe, is her plane going to stay in the air, very life/death major fears. I try to see them, notice them, and I realize they’re old patterns that I’ve done a lot. They’re a lot less now than they used to be. It’s usually fear created or anxiety, and then I bring myself back to what are you doing, and that’s how I try to minimize that. But I’d be open to other suggestions on how to further minimize that and maybe diminish them altogether.

ELIAS: Very well. You generate these types of extremes and speculations in relation to other individuals that you perceive to be close to in relationship but also in relation to how you perceive them. With individuals that you perceive to be more willing to automatically express risk...

JEN: Like intimacy type risk?

ELIAS: Any type of risk. With those individuals that you express a closeness with, they are expressing elements in their reality that you are attracted to but do not necessarily allow yourself to express.

Now; this is neither good or bad, and it is not an avocation that you be evaluating that and generating more risks with your own experiences. But there is an automatic association that you generate, that within your perception there are elements of those individuals that appear to you to be freer. They are not, but there is an underlying expression within you that perceives them to be somewhat freer or less restricted, and if they are less restricted or freer, there is a suspicion generated there.

The suspicion in itself is not of wrong with these individuals but of concern, that in that freedom that they shall wield it irresponsibly and therefore generate some event that you would perceive as hurtful. There is also an element in this of individuals that you express a closeness with of a fear of loss. The loss is associated with the perception that these individuals are somewhat less responsible with creating their reality.

JEN: Gosh, I don’t find myself thinking that. I feel like I just don’t want them to be gone.

ELIAS: But they incorporate in your association more of a potential.

JEN: Because I perceive them as not being responsible with their energy?

ELIAS: Not AS responsible, not that they are irresponsible.

JEN: That they are not as restricted as me.

ELIAS: Yes. And in that, you may perceive them to be less careful. That generates the fear that creates the potential or more of a potential of them generating some action or event which would remove them from your reality.

JEN: I guess I could choose to look at those fears when they arrive as a signal to me that I’m being too restrictive.

ELIAS: Partially.

JEN: And then also realize that people are creating their own reality, and then just let that go.

ELIAS: Which may be somewhat challenging, for you do incorporate tremendous affection and love for these individuals, and the potential for loss is quite real and would be uncomfortable.

JEN: But it’s not actual, it’s not actualized, so why project that and get upset?

ELIAS: Correct. That is another example of projecting, and that, as we have been discussing, is the base of what generates your anxiety and your distress in all of these situations.

JEN: Projecting, not being in the now.

ELIAS: Correct.

JEN: Even though sometimes the now can be very boring. Sometimes I just feel bored, and I just want to sleep. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. Maybe it’s a final focus thing.

ELIAS: Not necessarily.

JEN: Right, because final focuses can also show tremendous enthusiasm and excitement!

ELIAS: Correct, but each individual is unique, and how you perceive it is how YOU perceive it. But you perceive a significant amount of your focus to be boring, and this is the reason that you seek new adventures. For you engage one new adventure and you tire of it quickly, and therefore, you seek another adventure, and you become bored, and you seek another adventure.

JEN: I guess I’m wondering if it’s because I’m holding my attention more outside of self than in self.

ELIAS: Partially. Partially, there is another element in which that partially is a natural flow of energy with you. You restrict it...

JEN: Wait, what is the natural flow of energy?

ELIAS: This continuous seeking of new adventures, new explorations.

JEN: So part of that is just part of my energy...

ELIAS: Yes.

JEN: ...my essence energy. The other part of it is projecting outside of self.

ELIAS: Yes.

JEN: So somewhere along the line, there is a reconciliation of the two.

ELIAS: A balance, yes. An element of it is a natural flow of you, what you naturally do.

JEN: That’s what we’re all striving for, right?

ELIAS: Yes. Therefore, that may be acknowledged, that it is not bad that you tire of different adventures and seek new ones. It is a natural flow, but you also do incorporate an element in that that you do project your attention considerably. That also influences that movement. At times, not always but at times, that natural energy of continuously seeking new input, new explorations, new adventures, as it can create boredom as motivation, at times you also express some of these exaggerations of ideas in the intensity of the feelings as a break in the boredom to interject an element of excitement.

JEN: Even though it’s kind of cynical.

ELIAS: That is the point, is that you are not balancing and you are not channeling that energy into some expression that is actually more in keeping with your preferences. At times, you create speculations within yourself and agitate your own energy to interrupt the boredom, but it is somewhat random.

JEN: I’m not sure what to do with that, but I guess I’ll just notice it. (Elias chuckles)

What are the chances that Mary and I are going to live near one another? We have such a good time spending time together, and it feels like there’s just a greater and greater ease being with one another and sharing energy. It seems very expansive, I guess.

ELIAS: I shall offer you two answers. One is that there is a potential for that to occur and that it is a choice, and two, that within this present time framework in physical proximity to each other the potential is less likely.

JEN: You just contradicted the two.

ELIAS: No.

JEN: Well, one is that there is a potential...

ELIAS: Yes.

JEN: ...and two is that the potential now is not so great.

ELIAS: But that is not to say within...

JEN: Futurely?

ELIAS: Yes, there is both potentials. The first potential is dependent upon your mutual choices. The second potential is more immediate that you shall not be, but that may not be viewed as permanent.

JEN: Okay, got it. The last question is I’m wondering if you have an inside input for Jared. I know he’s struggling with feeling like he’s not making enough money.

ELIAS: Perhaps an encouragement in relation to his creativity and to trust his ability and to perhaps generate his own new adventure in expanding his creativity and trusting his ability in that also, and appreciating his abilities, appreciating his abilities and expressing them and generating those as his priority rather than other expressions or rather than obligations.

JEN: I feel like in our relationship I’ve been pretty successful in holding my attention to me. I know I’ve gone in the direction of wanting to try to change him in certain areas, but I feel in this relationship that we’re both very much individuals on our own journey, and happily, we get to journey together.

ELIAS: And I am acknowledging of you, and I am acknowledging of your success also.

JEN: I guess I feel like I have a hell of a lot more to go than I thought. I didn’t realize I was being so restrictive.

ELIAS: You do not necessarily have farther to go than you thought.

JEN: I’ll try not to feel discouraged.

ELIAS: Acknowledge yourself of how far you have accomplished.

JEN: I do! I’m living in New Orleans!

ELIAS: And if you can accomplish what you have — and you have — you can accomplish whatever you choose.

JEN: Then I have, haven’t I?

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Do not discount yourself, my friend.

JEN: Thank you. I will try to notice my discounting of self and try to let that roll away.

ELIAS: You have widened your awareness considerably, and you have much to contribute.

JEN: Thank you.

ELIAS: You are very welcome. I greatly acknowledge you.

JEN: And you as well!

ELIAS: I shall be anticipating our next discussion.

JEN: I don’t know if it will be objective, but okay.

ELIAS: Very well. It matters not. I express my tremendous love for you, my dear friend.

JEN: Thank you. Namaste.

ELIAS: And I am always with you in energy and encouragement. To you in fondness, au revoir.

JEN: Au revoir.

Elias departs after 1 hour, 8 minutes.

©2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.