Thursday, March 17, 2005 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and KC (Nanaiis)

(Elias’ arrival time is 16 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

KC: Good afternoon, Elias! I wasn’t sure you were going to show up. My energy is doing something very peculiar today, but after I had a wonderful talk with Mary, I feel a little bit better. This winter has been kind of hectic and overwhelming to me. I don’t know quite where to start.

We had a session in November, and I felt really good then. I had a bunch of company for Christmas, and I was really in the Christmas spirit. I read your Christmas sessions, and I felt pretty good. After the first of the year, I think it wasn’t until February sometime, I started to feel put out, like I was letting other people dictate certain things to me.

I had rented a condo in Florida, because my Aunt Jean was pretty close to death; we thought maybe she would live six months. She’s the mother of my cousin Bobbie. So I was going to go down once a month for the winter. I went down once in December, and then she died before Christmas. So now I’m still going down once a month, but it’s like too much, and I’m really kinda sorry that I made those arrangements. I made a plan, when you’ve been telling us that we didn’t need to make a plan.

Then I got sick. I got a cold, and then I got another cold, and I got another cold. I still have a cough I can’t get rid of. Then three days ago, I started to get dizzy and experience nausea and my heart was pounding. The vibrations I associate with you got real strong, and I thought you know, this could only be one thing. I must be really forcing my energy, and I must be totally not relaxing. I must be totally not allowing anything! I felt like I was just blocking energy and forcing energy. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

KC: There’s another thing. With the cold and the cough and the aging beliefs and the achy feelings and vitamin beliefs and nutrition beliefs, I’ve been taking some vitamins and some calcium and things like that. That was all fine for a while. I could take a multi-vitamin, I could take a calcium at night before I went to bed and not think about it. But when I got the cold, I added echinacea and zinc, and pretty soon I added anti-inflammatories for the joints. Then you have to add histamine blockers, because you take one pill to counteract the other pill, and it goes on and on and on. The other day I was looking at these pills in this seven-day container, thinking this is totally out of control. Some of these pills are gonna have to go! And right now I am in the perfect mood to have them all go! Every single one of them. (Both laugh) So, I think that’s exactly what I’ll do. In fact, I’ve done this before, haven’t I?

ELIAS: (Laughs) Yes. You move yourself...

KC: I take them because I’m not feeling good, and instead of looking for the message, I take a pill and I ignore the message and I ignore the signals.

ELIAS: Until you move to the point of overwhelming yourself. That motivates you to evaluate what you are doing, what type of energy you are expressing, and to examine what you actually prefer, and thusly, you alter what you are doing.

Now; in all of this, what are you doing that you do not naturally incorporate?

KC: Well, I’m being much more active this winter than I usually am. And I am also not expressing myself. I am holding myself back from expressing myself about what I want to do.

ELIAS: And what is generating that?

KC: My beliefs that I should be like other people, that what they are doing is the correct thing to do, and that I am lazy and I don’t want to do anything.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Perhaps it is not a matter of laziness, but perhaps it is merely a matter of preferences and doing what you want to do, rather than what you perceive to be expected.

KC: I have had little, tiny, very small hints of that, where I will do what I want and it won’t interfere with what other people are doing. They’ll do what they want, and everything will be fine, and there will be an understanding there, the cooperation. That’s happened a little bit.

ELIAS: And that is the point. Generating the cooperation but also paying attention to you and what you are communicating to yourself, paying attention to your preferences and allowing yourself to express that.

KC: Well, I still have a little bit of winter coming up. I know I get in my own way with this business of activities, because I’ve always been the kind of person who can do a lot of things in one place. I don’t have to get in the car and go somewhere to have things to do. I can draw; I can play the piano; I can read a book; I can garden; I can needlepoint; I can make a quilt. I’m busy. I don’t want to be walking around too much.

Anyway, I’ve another trip coming up to my cousin’s house, Bobbie, for a week at the end of May, and I’m just going to try to be gentle with myself.

ELIAS: In this, what are you doing NOW — other than anticipating this trip, which is not occurring for a time framework.

KC: Yes, yes, yes. That was what I was thinking about when I said I get in my own way. Instead of staying in the now and listening to myself and what I want in this moment, I’m fretting over a moment that doesn’t even exist yet for me.

ELIAS: Correct, and that is the point. You are generating projecting your attention futurely, and you are not paying attention and being present with yourself in this day.

KC: Yes, that is correct. I have been noticing that. A lot of times I will notice that the most when I go to bed at night. I will be thinking an automatic thought that I hope tomorrow will be better than today was, along those lines. Then I’ll remember the quote — and I don’t remember whose quote it is, but I believe it’s Abraham’s quote. He was asked how to have a good day tomorrow, and he said the first thing I would do if I wanted to have a good day tomorrow, I would appreciate my bed tonight!

ELIAS: Yes! Sound advice! Precisely. In this, it is a matter of appreciating what you are doing now — paying attention and being present with yourself in the present.

KC: It seems like I was really doing that well after my bee-sting session, my emergency bee-sting session. I listened to that and adsorbed everything that we talked about in that, and paid attention to what energy that I was projecting and stayed in the now much more than previously...

ELIAS: Yes.

KC: ...and paid attention to myself a little bit more also. Then everything just went down the tubes in February! But I know I have this drawing to February. I hate February. February is a nasty, wicked, evil month. (Elias laughs) Don’t expect anything nice to happen in February. That’s part of it.

ELIAS: Which you share that perception with several other individuals also. (Laughs) But even in that, my friend, you can appreciate your allowance of yourself to relax and dislike that particular time framework.

KC: Yes. I was reminding myself that I did that one year. I got a job in the winter, and I had to drive half an hour to work and half an hour back. I went out every day, all winter long, singing the song “I hate winter; I love to hate winter!” (Both laugh) I had the best time hating winter. I was in a wonderful mood. It was still winter, but it was a matters-not issue.

ELIAS: Yes.

KC: I also reminded myself that in our last session we talked about experiencing the concepts. Every now and then, when I get lost in the old familiar of blame and sulk and worry and fret, and I notice what I’m doing, I think this is one of the ways that you actually do move. It might look like you are going backwards a little bit, but you are constantly noticing, identifying, addressing to. You don’t have to compartmentalize it.

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: I’m thinking that when I really feel wicked and awful and icky, that I’m still doing something beneficial, that I might not understand it right now but at least I can trust that I will understand it.

ELIAS: Correct. Value is not always experienced in comfort.

KC: I know. But that sounds much better when you are comfortable than when you are uncomfortable. (Elias laughs) It doesn’t comfort you very much when you are uncomfortable and you say this is okay. Then you go, well, I know, but I’d rather be comfortable, and yet I know that I don’t want static comfort for the rest of my reality.

ELIAS: But the point in this, my friend, is the automatic response of opposing the discomfort, which moves you into a different direction. Once you are engaging opposing the discomfort, you begin projecting your attention futurely, and you compound the discomfort. You also generate a much stronger concentration upon the continuation of that discomfort, for you are consuming yourself with fighting with it.

KC: Yes, that’s precisely what I was doing, and I knew I was doing it, too. There can’t be any discomfort without your attention on the discomfort. I just started altering this yesterday. I mean, I’ve been wallowing. I guess I’d have to admit I have been wallowing for at least a month and a half, and yesterday I thought now I’m bored, let’s have some fun for a change. I started just to be gentle with myself and relax and just breathe. I didn’t do the white energy center exercise, but that’s another one that relaxes me very well. I decided to just relax and be gentle with myself and try to keep my attention on myself — even if I wasn’t doing a very good job with staying in the now, which I wasn’t. So I started on that, and then I thought now I missed all the signals, the aches and pains, the colds, the outside imagery of taking the pills, the aging beliefs and things. I tried to get the messages, but really the only message I got was that I was forcing energy. I knew that was correct and I was not relaxing. I was not allowing.

ELIAS: Correct. In this, it maybe helpful for you to stop and merely evaluate where your attention is and what you are actually doing. For once you are aware of what you are actually doing in the moment, you allow yourself to express your own power.

Altering perception is not actually a difficult action. It is, in actuality, quite simple. It is merely a matter of knowing where you are holding your attention and paying attention to what you are actually doing. If you are generating anxiety, what is motivating that anxiety? If you are expressing restlessness, what is generating that restlessness? If you are, in your terms, feeling “icky,” what is motivating that signal?

As you allow yourself to stop in the moment and genuinely pay attention to what that signal is and evaluate it rather than what you think you are doing — as you have stated, you cannot not pay attention to discomfort if you are uncomfortable, but that is not entirely true — for in actually turning your attention to the signal, which you are not actually doing in the moments that you are experiencing this discomfort or restlessness or anxiety — you are merely noticing the feeling, but you are also automatically opposing it or fighting with it — therefore, you are not actually paying attention to what you are actually doing, what you are actually signaling yourself with and what you are communicating to yourself. You are merely paying attention to the manifestation and how you feel in relation to the manifestation, whatever it may be, and identifying that it is generating discomfort. In that, you automatically begin to push energy in opposition to the feeling, and that concentrates your attention upon perpetuating it. Therefore, it continues, and you feel stuck.

But if you actually stop in the moment, move your attention to the signal, identify what the signal is — anxiety, restlessness — and you allow yourself a moment to evaluate what is generating that signal, what you are actually DOING or what you are not doing in that moment and what type of energy you are expressing in that moment, that action in itself is enough to distract you in a manner that shall dissipate the signal.

In that, this is your point of power, to be recognizing what you are actually doing. If you are not aware of what you are actually doing or what you are not doing, you shall also not offer yourself any information to alter what you are generating. You merely continue in the circle of questioning yourself, which generates the “why” circle. Why am I feeling this? Why am I experiencing this? Why am I creating this? That merely moves you in the circle, and you do not offer yourself an answer.

KC: Well, that is exactly what I did. I focused on the signal and then I pushed against the signal.

ELIAS: Yes.

KC: And that’s all that I did for about a month and a half.

ELIAS: That is an automatic response. This is the reason that I continue to express to you that it is important to be noticing what your automatic responses are, for they are limiting and they are familiar. In your terms, in association with how you process information, this generates a perception of being out of control.

KC: Yes. That’s exactly right. That was the imagery of the accumulating pills being totally out of control.

ELIAS: Correct. For you merely continue to compound what you are doing in association with automatic responses, and you are not actually paying attention to what you are actually doing or what you are not doing.

What you are not doing is expressing your energy in the manner that is a natural free flow of your energy. What you are not doing is you are not allowing yourself to express your preferences. And what you are not doing influences what you ARE doing.

KC: Yes. It’s interesting, my motivations for things, because for the most part I am a very low-key person, and I’m just happy sitting in the park talking to somebody or having lunch and not doing too much of anything. However, I do like to go sightseeing and get in the water and go boating and do a lot of other activities. But now I’ve noticed that I am gritting my teeth when it comes to doing anything, and my motivation is just for the heck of it. It’s almost like it’s counterproductive.

ELIAS: Correct. Offer an example of what you are doing that is forcing energy.

KC: When I’m on a vacation with my husband and my cousin Bobbie and her husband, John, there will be an arrangement, say we’re all going out to dinner at 7:00 on Saturday night, and I really won’t want to go. I mean, these are people I really don’t know, and Bobbie doesn’t really know them very well, either. We don’t the restaurant, it’s too late to eat, and I’d just as soon be sitting here having a cup of coffee at seven o’clock. But I don’t say anything, you know? And I’ll get dressed and I’ll go.

ELIAS: And in that action, do you recognize that you are projecting an energy that you do not like?

KC: Yes. I recognize it.

ELIAS: And you do not accomplish generating a genuine connection in interaction with the other individuals, for you are projecting an opposing energy. Therefore, what is the point?

KC: You’re right. I know that this is what you’ve been saying from the beginning, to allow yourself your preferences. I know I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and do it.

ELIAS: The obstacle is that of obligation. You incorporate a strong belief of obligation, which influences you to express shoulds and should-nots with yourself. You SHOULD be accommodating, and you should not disappoint other individuals or inconvenience other individuals, and you SHOULD merely acquiesce, for that is what is expressed in good behavior. What you lose sight of is the energy that you are projecting. And you are correct, it is counterproductive.

KC: Well, okay then, I can see how all of this has added up to all these physical symptoms. I’ve just added one thing to another to another since the middle of January or February.

ELIAS: Correct, for you continue to be moving in the same direction, and you continue to be opposing your own energy and generating expectations of yourself and fighting with your own natural flow. In response to that, you are generating communications to yourself in physical manifestations, and you continue and continue and continue. In manner of speaking, figuratively, you have generated this circle so strongly that your signals are almost screaming at you.

KC: Yes. They were pretty much screaming at me yesterday and today.

ELIAS: Now; recall, what did you do yesterday?

KC: Yesterday was Wednesday, and I spent a lot of time on the computer, and I watched some television, and I did a few chores around the house, not very many, but ones with regard to the pets which I like to do every day. I might have emptied the dishwasher, cleaned up the kitchen a little, and that was it.

ELIAS: And what do you feel?

KC: I can’t say that I was bored, but I had a very unsettling feeling that I was really not doing what I wanted to do. I really didn’t necessarily want to stay at home all day. In fact, I had made a little list of things I wanted to go out and do.

ELIAS: And what prevented you from accomplishing that?

KC: Not staying in the now?

ELIAS: Therefore, what were you doing?

KC: Forcing energy?

ELIAS: If you were not in the now, what were you doing?

KC: I was projecting futurely and pastly.

ELIAS: In association with what?

KC: With forthcoming expectations of my obligations and not disappointing people.

ELIAS: Ah ha! And that generates an overwhelming-ness. As you consume your time with doing that, you do not incorporate the time or the motivation to accomplish what you want to do, and at the close of the day, what are you experiencing? That you did not accomplish what you wanted, you were not productive. Therefore, you generate discounting yourself, which compounds the restlessness and the anxiety of what you are not doing.

KC: So all of this is from not paying attention to myself in the now?

ELIAS: And not being present with yourself in that day, in THIS day, and not allowing yourself an expression of appreciation of yourself in that present.

In this, in actuality it would matter not if you actually incorporated the activities that were incorporated upon your list. If you were allowing yourself to be present with yourself in that day, you may have allowed yourself to appreciate the mundane activities that you engaged and experience a satisfaction with what you did, rather than generating a self-comparison concerning what is productive or what you HAVE to do or MUST do or what you are anticipating doing. Your attention is projected to the exclusion of now.

I am not expressing to you that you never incorporate projecting your attention futurely or pastly. That also is a natural action. But what becomes conflicting or uncomfortable is projecting your attention to the exclusion of paying attention to what you are doing now. That is what generates your balance, your center. And remember, all that you may anticipate futurely or all that you may be recalling of past is all being generated now. Therefore, what you perceive as “shall be” is dependent upon what you are doing now.

KC: I guess it’s because of the truth wave, and I want to experience these things because I really had a hard time appreciating anything this past month. I would lay in bed and try to appreciate my bed and I’m thinking that’s so boring, I’ve done that before. Then I’m wondering why on earth I wasn’t able to do that. So I don’t know. One of the reasons I set up a schedule of conversations with you is because it brings my attention back to where I want it.

ELIAS: I am understanding, and this is your creation.

KC: Yes. Anyway, I’m going to try to stop the momentum of that cycle that I built up...

ELIAS: No TRYING!

KC: No trying! I shall appreciate what I can appreciate today, and I simply shall! I can and I shall.

ELIAS: Very well. In that, if you choose to interact with your creatures, appreciate the satisfaction that you generate in that interaction and connection. If you choose to be engaging your dishes, appreciate that you are engaging a mundane activity that requires little effort and little energy, and that you are doing it now. And do not distract yourself in the action of the dishes in thinking about your trip. Your trip is not today.

KC: I think I’ve already started to forget about the trip, because your statement took me totally by surprise! I said, “What trip?” (Elias laughs)

So, in speaking about my creatures, I wanted to ask you exactly what I did with my new cat. Axel asked you in his session if my new cat Snow Bitty had a fleck of Kadisha, and you said yes and that it was an example of the allowance of ourselves reconfiguring familiar energy.

ELIAS: Yes.

KC: So is that the same thing as making an apple in our hand?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. It is a reconfigurement of energy in which you have presented to yourself this creature that incorporates a type of personality that shall challenge you in association with this truth wave and allow you to examine your own absolutes.

KC: This is a very interesting creature, that’s for sure. (Elias chuckles) I don’t know about that laugh of yours, Elias, because you know we’ve had this conversation about me not wanting more pets and how I wasn’t going to replace my pets.

ELIAS: I am aware.

KC: So in the middle of winter with two feet of snow on the ground, here comes a little starving cat to my door. She’s living happily ever after, it looks like to me.

ELIAS: And presenting challenges to you!

KC: A few challenges, a few challenges. She reminds me of some of the cats that I used to have, and that age belief is in here, but when I was younger, I had cats like this cat, very playful, wanting a lot of attention, wanting to distract you a lot, being with you all the time, sleeping in your bed, waking you up in the morning or sooner! So I love it, but I’m not used to it. I’ve been thinking about that a lot, my responses to this cat.

ELIAS: It is significant that you pay attention to this presentment, for you have drawn this to yourself in association with this wave addressing to truth as an avenue to examine your absolutes and your preferences.

KC: I just read that. So all right, I will pay attention. I already figured that’s what that relationship was. Why is Polly barking? (Mary’s dog Polly began barking when there was a knock on the door, and continues to bark loudly in the background) So I guess we’ll have to figure out what that relationship is. Polly, Polly! Well, I think she’s barking at me. What did I do? It’s my energy.

ELIAS: Partially, but it is also another individual and their energy.

KC: Ah. So all right, then. I have another critter question. Remember when I told you there was a lot of twin imagery and I had two birds that were the same? Now I have two cats that have kind of the same color. We talked about harmony and complements and duality.

ELIAS: Yes.

KC: I don’t know what question to ask, but my birds do not evidence very much harmony, as far as I can see. I know I will have to redefine that a bit. The only thing I have noticed is that one bird likes all of the red bird food and one bird likes all of the green bird food. So when you put their little cups of food in their cages, you wait until they are finished, then all you have to do is switch the cups to the other cage and all the food gets eaten, which is actually kind of significant with birds, because they are very dirty and they throw a lot of food around. To have all the food eaten is a nice evidence of harmony, I would think.

ELIAS: Yes.

KC: But that’s the only action of harmony I’ve noticed with the birds. How could they represent harmony? I mean, I don’t understand where the harmony is in this.

ELIAS: But that is dependent upon you.

KC: Okay, now I know. My belief is that cats know what they are doing and all you have to do is leave them alone and they’ll figure it out, and so my cats are the best of friends. Then with the birds, I thought that birds don’t know what they are doing. I didn’t know this in English, I hadn’t translated this into thought, but my belief was and is that birds don’t know what they are doing, they can really hurt each other, and you have to keep them apart and hope for the best.

ELIAS: Yes, and therefore, you do not generate the harmony, for YOU generate the energy of separation and protection. Therefore, you generate an energy that they reflect in competition.

KC: But the reason cats don’t do that is directly because of the belief that I used in my relationship with them.

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: What a contrast!

ELIAS: Now; in this also, you view the birds differently from the felines. The felines, although they are incorporated as pets, you continue to perceive as felines and that they are capable of directing themselves as they would were they wild. But you view birds in captivity to be very different from birds in the wild, which they are not.

KC: Yes, you are right. I think of them more as babies. They’re very dependent. If they got out, they wouldn’t know what to eat or where to go or how to do anything. That’s what I think about birds, and I know that is not a truth.

ELIAS: Correct, but you are very absolute with that, and that is one of your truths. Were those birds to be in the wild, they would naturally cooperate with each other and would not necessarily generate competition.

KC: Ooo, Elias! This could be a project. (Both laugh) Here, I’m letting one of my cats in now.

ELIAS: Now; remember, you are not eliminating your truths, but you are recognizing them and experiencing them, and in a manner of speaking, somewhat relaxing them, for you recognize that although they may be absolute with you for they are your guidelines of how you express yourself and behave, they are not actually true.

Any truth, being a belief that you have generated into an absolute, in like manner to any other belief incorporates many, many, many influences. Therefore, it is merely a matter of not changing the belief but choosing different influences.

KC: I don’t have an inkling right now of how I could re-associate with that belief that birds are totally dependent.

ELIAS: Ah, now; let me offer one small example in relation to what you have expressed. You expressed the absoluteness that birds are entirely dependent and do not incorporate the ability to care for themselves or to direct themselves. But to the contrary, you express your own evidence that if you offer these birds food, each specifically chooses its preferred food in its preferred color. That IS directing itself. That is not helpless.

KC: No, and now that you say it, I can think of several other examples. In fact, with a bird, they can practically talk to you. You really don’t even need to know much about birds to know what the bird wants. If the bird wants a bath and you turn the faucet on, it’s going to be right down your arm under the water. It does almost precisely what it wants all the time.

ELIAS: Correct. And therefore...

KC: It knows when it wants to take a bath, it knows where to sit, what to eat, what not to eat, doesn’t eat the newspaper in the bottom of the cage.

ELIAS: Correct, and it is quite efficient at directing itself. It is not helpless, and it is not entirely dependent anymore so than the felines. But you perceive them to be in this manner, for you perceive them to be small and delicate, and you incorporate a different type of affection for the birds than you do with the felines.

KC: That’s true.

ELIAS: Therefore, YOU project an energy through your perception of the helplessness of the birds, for this is what you prefer. But if the birds are helpless and dependent, they must be dependent upon you, and each of them must be solely dependent upon you. Therefore, they must not be cooperating with each other. For if they are cooperating with each other, they incorporate less need of you within your perception. Therefore, you project the energy that they shall incorporate harmony in some manners, but they shall also express competition, for that allows you to remain the focal point of each of them.

KC: Yes. Well, thank you. I had thought of that in much more ethereal terms. I think I might have reached that conclusion eventually, because it was dawning on me when I got the cats in here. I know what my beliefs are about cats, and they became very delightful little friends in three days. Which is another belief of mine, that it takes three days, that’s all it takes, and you don’t have to do anything. I recognized right away what I had done with the birds and how my beliefs entered into that. (Elias chuckles) And one acknowledgment for me for noticing!

ELIAS: Yes!

KC: What time is it? Oh my goodness, we only have about five minutes left. I didn’t really have any real, real questions this time. But I’m wondering if my twins... And I’ve learned a lot in our conversation today about my relationship with the twins also. Thank you.

ELIAS: (Laughs) You are welcome. I am acknowledging of you for noticing.

KC: I wondered if my one little twin grandson Danny has 803.

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: And if David has 1200?

ELIAS: Twelve hundred one.

KC: I still can’t get over how we do this! (Elias laughs) I just said how many focuses does he have, and I wrote down 8-0-3, because that’s the number that came to me. This is where we go right back to I make everything difficult and then I prove to myself how easy it is.

ELIAS: (Laughs) As a reminder.

KC: Yes. Is David Gramada aligned?

ELIAS: Yes.

KC: Oh! You see, I didn’t know if that was an impression or a wish. (Elias laughs)

Oh! I have another critter question. After I let this little kitty in in December, actually I don’t know the timeframe, but since then, another gray cat has been coming to my front door and sitting there and looking in, and my cats sit inside and look out and just look at each other through the door. Sometimes my cats will go out, and they’re getting along with this gray cat. Sometimes I put food out in the garage for him, and that would be fine because I don’t mind a bunch of yard cats. Then another cat came by and then another cat came by, and that’s one, two, three, four, five. That’s five cats, and I just thought it was a kind of playful thing. I hope was just a playful thing, Elias. Tell me it is.

ELIAS: Yes. And what is your concern?

KC: I guess my concern was that I simply would not know what I was creating without asking you, that was my concern! (Elias laughs) I think I decided it was just a playful thing. I just want to make sure I don’t forget that I have a relationship with a kitty now to help me examine my absolutes and my preferences.

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: Excellent. Elias, thank you so much. I will absorb all of this over the next few days, and I’m going to see you in New Orleans.

ELIAS: Very well!

KC: I’ll see you then. I guess we’ll get back to talk to Mary now.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend. As always, I express great affection to you and tremendous lovingness. In friendship, I express to you au revoir.

KC: Au revoir, Elias. Thank you.

Elias departs after 56 minutes.

©2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.