Saturday, March 5, 2005 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Gail (William)

(Elias’ arrival time is 12 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

GAIL: Good morning, Elias. Nice to hear you!

ELIAS: And you also.

GAIL: I was just talking to Mary a little bit. I’m sure you understand. We were talking about things that don’t appear to be what we think they are, or even experience.

ELIAS: Yes?

GAIL: I’m calling because I have been experiencing extremes in looking at my beliefs, and I think that’s kind of the idea, mostly in relationships. I would like a bigger perspective than I can grasp on what I’m creating here. My commitment and relationship with Danny is something that I’m looking at and trying to grasp and understand. I’m also trying to incorporate the concept of action in this, and it’s kind of mind-boggling.

ELIAS: In what capacity? Explain.

GAIL: Mary and I were talking about action, that action is in the moment and there’s no real sequence of events.

ELIAS: Correct.

GAIL: I was jotting down some notes as I was thinking of it, and I was thinking memories are not connected — well, they are a connection of one action to another action, but each action is its own value or experience. I have so many thoughts in my head. I’m trying to slow down here!

Danny had his hearing, and then came a sequence of events where he went to the parole board and the commissioners passed him, he went to the nine panel and they passed him, and the parole officer came to the house and checked out the house and everything was fine. Then they said to send him his clothes, so I was in the thought process that he was coming home, because that sequence of events usually lead up to another climax, which was that he would come home. Well, the governor said his crime was too serious so he couldn’t come home. It totally blew my mind, needless to say. I’m just really trying to incorporate the outcome and the concept of action and...

ELIAS: And how are you perceiving this situation? What information have you offered to yourself in this scenario?

GAIL: Within our relationship, because he’s there and I’m here, I know that part of the purpose of him being there and me being here is so that I can focus more on myself and learn how to interact with him. At times I want him to come home, and at times I find I don’t want him to come home. Obviously, I didn’t, because I didn’t create him here. There’s a bunch of beliefs within that, because he owns the house and he provides the money to have me be here — not that I couldn’t go off and take care of myself on my own, but I keep finding myself here. (Sighs)

ELIAS: And what in this situation is your dilemma?

GAIL: Part of me really would love him to be here to interact with him, because I love him. I enjoy being with him, and we talk about how we love doing the same things. It would be really nice to be able to be with him and do all the things we enjoy together and find enjoyment in that, experience each other together, which I really thought I was ready for, but I guess I’m not. I’m also realizing it doesn’t have to be him that I necessarily experience that aspect of myself with, but I’m wondering why I would not create it with him and think about creating it with someone else. It’s kind of mind-boggling.

ELIAS: Define “it.”

GAIL: A sexual relationship with him.

ELIAS: Very well. In this, let me express to you that what you think may not necessarily be entirely inaccurate. What you think you want may be somewhat accurate, but also may be incomplete. Remember, thought is a translation and it is...

GAIL: As you know, for the last couple of years I’ve been thinking yes, I want him to be here. Then I panic, and I think about making a relationship with someone else that I can go on a date with, interact with, and go home and think about it. With Danny, he would be right here, right now, and it’s like you’re in each other’s presence all the time and how is it going to work out.

ELIAS: Correct, and in this, what you are exploring are your preferences. You are unfamiliar with many of your preferences. You are generating an exploration of what your preferences are by experiencing them, but another important factor of that is noticing what your preferences are and acknowledging that.

In this, you generate an ideal in what you think would be the ideal relationship with this individual, but that is actually already being expressed. Regardless that you may not actually physically interact with each other in many different manners, be it in activities or in sexual activities or in different actions that you both enjoy and sharing those actions physically, regardless that you are not engaging the physical element of that, you are allowing yourselves to experience those actions in a different manner, not in a physical manner. But in sharing with each other and in mingling your energies, you create that intimacy with each other in a different manner.

GAIL: I can relate to that in that when I’m not talking to him and I’m in my day, paying attention to other things, I feel a certain way, but as soon as I talk to him there’s such a comfort and an understanding that we have between each other that I almost melt!

ELIAS: But you are already creating the relationship that you want. In this, what has become confusing to you is that you continue to project your attention in association with what you think you want and do not have, rather than acknowledging and appreciating what you are creating, what you are doing, and what you already have.

GAIL: Yes, I would agree with that. In the last couple of weeks I think I have shifted my perception a little bit, and I’m starting to appreciate and see what I do have.

ELIAS: In this, it is not that you do not want to incorporate a relationship with this individual, but that you want to continue the relationship as it is already being generated. The dis-want of the actual physical interaction is that you perceive that to incorporate a tremendous potential to change the relationship that you do incorporate with this individual and were you to be interactive with each other in physical proximity continuously in daily activities together, that that would alter the relationship that you incorporate now. You value the relationship that you incorporate now, and you do not...

GAIL: Is that part of my belief that men are dominant over women?

ELIAS: Partially, but it is also partially associated with new movement that you are generating within yourself, allowing yourself to be discovering your preferences and your own freedom, allowing yourself to express yourself more freely in relation to your preferences, and that that would be threatened in generating a different type of relationship, a partnership, so to speak, in which you would occupy the same physical environment and interact with each other in much more volume. With you, that is perceived as a hindrance to your own freedom of your expressions and your preferences and your individual wants, and it also incorporates an automatic response or an automatic association with you of obligation and your role.

As the relationship is expressed now, you have creatively engaged a relationship that avoids your automatic response of obligation and also avoids your automatic response of acquiescing to another individual — for that is familiar in association with your experiences of that type of relationship. Therefore, you have provided yourself with an avenue in which you can express intimacy with another individual, and you can appreciate the relationship that you generate with the other individual, but you are also not expressing obligation, and you are not forcing yourself to be acquiescing and co-piloting and allowing the other individual to dictate your choices.

GAIL: That right there makes me wonder if we’re ever going to be physically together. I want to address those. I think I’ve been heading that way for quite some time.

ELIAS: Yes, but you are also continuing to view that what you are doing is inadequate or not good enough or even bad, that you are not accomplishing — and you ARE accomplishing. That is the point. What you are not allowing yourself to express is the acknowledgment of yourself of the movement that you have accomplished and all that you are doing. You continue to move your attention to lack and what you are not doing.

Allowing yourself to be present with yourself in each of your days and to be aware of you, of your environment, of what you are doing, and to acknowledge yourself and appreciate yourself in all of that, is what is most significant and shall allow you to genuinely recognize what you want in every direction. You shall generate more clarity as to what you are actually creating and what influences what you are actually creating. In that, the idea of whether he disengages his confinement or not matters not, and you begin to recognize that that actually is not the issue and that you are not failing in association with his continuance in confinement.

GAIL: Sometimes it feels that way, that I’m failing to create him home. I view it that way, that if he’s going to be home, it’s me creating him being home.

ELIAS: Correct, but you are not actually allowing yourself to evaluate all of the variables.

GAIL: Because I couldn’t see them. I just didn’t know why I wasn’t creating him home. I had no real idea that I wanted to look at my preferences more and appreciate myself more and look at the beliefs within the sexuality part of it. There’s the obligation; I know I feel the obligation, but I don’t feel it as intensely as I used to.

ELIAS: Correct, but in this time framework, were he not to be in confinement and you placing yourself in that scenario and that environment, you would be expressing that obligation once again, for it is very familiar and you have not incorporated enough allowance and practice with yourself to be incorporating your preferences and to be expressing your own strength and your own power in your expression of your freedom. Therefore, it would be quite easily expressed to be reincorporating those familiar expressions and patterns that you have generated previously.

GAIL: In our linear time, it sure seems to be taking me a hell of a long time to figure that out! But with the, to me, new idea of the action, that’s really interesting to me.

Before we talk more about that, I wanted to address my relationship with Miss Jules/Lanyah. A number of years ago, I guess it was six years ago, I had this vision that she and I would be parting, so to speak, and we were extremely, extremely close. Over the years, it’s been parting, parting, parting, until in October, or even previous to that, we created a scenario of her not being in agreement to my choices with my parents, to the point where she didn’t want to interact with me anymore because I was re-establishing a relationship with my parents. I have to say that I really appreciate who they are and the interaction that we had. Even though to most people it would seem really odd, I really appreciate the experience, and now have created a totally different experience with them that I enjoy. But she doesn’t see it that way, she sees it differently, but we have actually reconnected within the disappointment of Danny not coming home. Is the overall reason for that to have each other not depend on each other so much?

ELIAS: Partially.

GAIL: Could you explain more?

ELIAS: And also is partially associated with what we have been discussing, in allowing yourself — and she also — to be focusing more upon yourselves, and also to be addressing to differences and allowing yourselves to move into an acceptance of difference, and also the acknowledgment of self, that you may incorporate differences and you may incorporate lack of agreement, but you may also express acceptance and therefore generate cooperation.

GAIL: I think we’re to that point. It feels a lot better.

ELIAS: Which that is a valuable experience, for that allows you to acknowledge yourself and your own difference and not generate a comparing or a competition with another individual, but also accepting their difference and knowing within yourself that it is acceptable to continue to express your own preference and not acquiesce to another individual in their difference of preferences, recognizing that you are not wrong and the other individual is also not wrong, and that your beliefs, your truths are quite strong and very real with you, and the other individual incorporates the same with their beliefs and their truths in how real they are.

GAIL: That brings us to the topic of fairness, of I’m right and they’re wrong, or they’re right and I’m wrong, that whole topic, as well, right?

ELIAS: Yes. What is fair? What you...

GAIL: Fairness is just your perception. Neither one is right or wrong. It’s just how you look at things.

ELIAS: Correct.

GAIL: In talking to Drew about the session in Castaic, which I wasn’t there for, which he related to me and I read the transcript, you said love is an innate quality. You also said it was one of the innate qualities, and I was wondering what are the other innate qualities?

ELIAS: Those which have been identified as actual truths.

GAIL: All right, I have a list of those! (Laughs with Elias)

The topic of action, that’s been kind of interesting. Mary and I were talking about it, both of us experiencing that there isn’t a sequence of events. The other day at work, my boss and I were talking, and she took a clip out of her hair and we continued talking and went into another room. She wanted to get her clip, and she came back and we couldn’t find it for nothing! It made me think that one thing doesn’t necessarily follow another.

ELIAS: Correct.

GAIL: Is there anything more that you want to expand on that?

ELIAS: You merely perceive in that manner as you recall, for in recall, that allows you to fit together events to generate the appearance that one action follows another action, which is generally how you perceive your reality. This is not to say that it is not real, for it is very real, but it is not absolute. Therefore, as you generate any action, it may not necessarily follow another action, and it may not necessarily incorporate a logical outcome.

GAIL: I’ve been really thinking about that whole action thing and simultaneous time, because with my multiple personalities, when I was remembering what happened to each of the personalities when they were younger, I had not only a memory recall but a visual recall of all the events. I’m thinking that I’m sitting here and I’m recalling myself at six, seven, eight, nine, ten years old, and seeing and experiencing what they/I experienced, and it was still actually going on while I was sitting there remembering it.

ELIAS: Yes.

GAIL: That’s fascinating, just recalling individual actions that were connected so that I could create a memory of what happened in my childhood. Correct?

ELIAS: Yes, and this is also the creation of it in the now. In actuality, although the perception of linear time is quite real within your physical reality, it is also more than that perception, for all that you create is created in the now. In this, in any moment in memory, you can alter what was created in the past.

GAIL: Have I altered what I created in the past?

ELIAS: Somewhat, yes. You all do this quite frequently. Each time you generate a memory of the past, in some capacity you are changing it. For your memory of the past continuously changes in some aspect, and each time you change a memory, you also actually change the past event.

GAIL: Even the original memory, it still is. Correct?

ELIAS: No, for the original action is generated, but even that does not remain constant. For in each moment subsequent to any action that you generate, if you recall that in memory, you change it.

GAIL: So if I’m thinking of myself at a certain age, and I’m remembering what I saw and experienced in that memory...

ELIAS: That is what becomes the reality. You could — and do — generate an experience in this day and tomorrow you may remember the event, you shall remember it somewhat differently from what you actually did in the moment in the previous day. Therefore, it shall instantly be altered.

This is what I am expressing, as I have expressed to all of you previously that you are continuously altering the past. The past is created in the present. The future is created in the present also. The difference is that you perceive the past to be solid and unchangeable, and you perceive the future to be open and quite changeable. For your perception of it is that it has not occurred yet, but all of your reality is being created in the now.

GAIL: In one simple little action, correct?

ELIAS: Correct, and therefore, regardless of what another individual may recall in an event that perhaps you even share, you may generate two very different versions of that past, for you have created two very different versions.

GAIL: In my head, I go to perception and accepting each other’s perception of what one thought happened to them, but the other person says no, that didn’t happen.

ELIAS: Correct.

GAIL: I think overall, I kind of incorporated that into my relationship with my parents.

ELIAS: Yes.

GAIL: I have a few more questions to ask you about. I view steam at points in time. It looks like steam or real thin clouds in my vision. Is that showing me that the veils are thinning?

ELIAS: Yes.

GAIL: They’re getting pretty darn thin! (Elias laughs) The other one is that when I close my eyes sometimes, I see light patterns in my vision, and sometimes they’re different colors. Recently I saw little pink patterns, shards of light. Was that Rose lending me energy?

ELIAS: Yes.

GAIL: And the blue is you?

ELIAS: Yes.

GAIL: Thank you very much!

ELIAS: You are very welcome.

GAIL: Because at that point in time I was... Well, you know, you were the one who lent me energy! (Elias laughs)

Is there anything you want to convey to me so that I could think about something? Not that I don’t think enough already! (Laughs)

ELIAS: (Laughs) I may express...

GAIL: Shed any light on what I’m dealing with, preferences, choices?

ELIAS: I may express to you a reminder that you incorporate a gentleness with yourself and be aware of expectations that you express of yourself, and allow yourself that gentleness and to be acknowledging of yourself rather than continuing to express this energy and judgment of yourself that you are not accomplishing well enough yet.

It is not a matter of striving, my friend. It is a matter of being and being aware of what you are doing, and allowing yourself to acknowledge that and appreciate what you are already generating, rather than discounting yourself in what you perceive as lack.

GAIL: I think I have had a long-time pattern of that.

ELIAS: I am aware, but all hope is not lost! (Laughs with Gail) Change is the nature of consciousness; therefore, you may assure yourself that you are not stuck.

GAIL: I’ve been hesitating to even go in this direction, but I asked you once before a long time ago what’s the most probable outcome of Danny and I being together, and I’m feeling exhausted from it. Is there a probability or a most probable of us being together? (Pause)

ELIAS: In this now, it is not a strong potential.

GAIL: Mary kind of said the same thing in listening to your feelings. We’ll see what I create!

ELIAS: But remember, this is what we have been discussing, acknowledging yourself and appreciating what you have created. Allow yourself to incorporate more flexibility with your perception. Acknowledge what you have created, and allow yourself to genuinely appreciate that and the satisfaction that you offer yourself with it. Also acknowledge yourself in continuing to explore what you want in other avenues, not merely limiting your attention in the black and white and the either/or, but allowing yourself in your exploration of your preferences to actually express them, and to explore what you want in many avenues, not merely one.

GAIL: I know I haven’t given that kind of attention to myself to even really realize what my preferences are.

ELIAS: And this shall be an interesting adventure, perhaps incorporated as a game rather than a chore.

GAIL: (Laughs) You know me, I never really liked the idea of games, but now I’m even relaxing on that one!

ELIAS: Perhaps you may invent your game of your individual treasure hunt, and what your treasure hunt shall yield is the presentment of your preferences. Those are your treasures.

GAIL: We’ll see what I do! (Elias laughs)

I have to say, one thing out of this whole scenario that I’ve created is that I do very much enjoy interacting with my son who is here, Brad. I know I’m creating him here to reflect back emotions and thoughts to me. Just recently I’m very aware that he expresses a little more physical affection to me, just being gentle and sweet, so I must be showing myself some kind of an avenue to follow.

ELIAS: Yes, and you are also generating companionship in a manner that does not interrupt your movement of your own self-discovery.

GAIL: He’s very accepting. He’s an incredible kid. He’s just very fun; I enjoy him.

ELIAS: And perhaps you may be paying more attention to that element of fun.

GAIL: I feel like I’ve walked a tightrope for so long, I don’t know how to not walk a tightrope.

ELIAS: Merely allow yourself to fall off! (Laughs)

GAIL: Ooo. That sounds fun and scary at the same time.

ELIAS: Incorporating less seriousness and more playfulness shall also allow you to relax much more easily.

I shall express to you an exercise that you may incorporate for a time framework of two of your weeks. In this exercise, once, within each of your days, you shall incorporate some action of fun. Incorporate an actual action of some activity that you perceive to be fun. It matters not what you choose for the duration of that time framework. It may be momentary, it may be more extensive — that is your choice — but to be incorporating one action of fun in each of your days.

GAIL: That’s interesting, but sometimes I don’t even to myself know what fun is.

ELIAS: This shall be your challenge to discover, and it shall offer you the opportunity to practice. That shall incorporate more familiarity of playfulness for you.

GAIL: Okay, I will. I know time is almost up, but I do, as you’re aware, communicate with you quite often in my head...

ELIAS: I am aware.

GAIL: ...and I know I don’t get any verbal response. It is nice to talk to you to hear a verbal response, but I know I get information from you in my head.

ELIAS: Yes.

GAIL: It’s not as concrete as a phone call, but I’m very aware of it.

ELIAS: My energy is with you always

GAIL: I feel it, but at times when I’m questioning, it’s nice to say, “What do you think about this?”

ELIAS: (Laughs) I am understanding.

GAIL: I’ve also decided I’m going to stop taking care of people.

ELIAS: Ah! And that is tremendously to be acknowledged.

GAIL: I noticed that I’ve done that all my life. Not to say that I didn’t have fun with these individuals and learned a great deal from them, because I think that’s part of why I drew those certain individuals to me.

ELIAS: Correct, but it is not your job.

GAIL: I’m done with that now. With Brad, I don’t feel that way. He comes and goes when he wants, and that’s fine with me. It’s a very compatible relationship, I think.

ELIAS: I am understanding. This also is an element of what I was expressing to you in association with your relationship with the other individual, for were he to be physically within your environment, that is another automatic expression that you would readily incorporate, and that defeats the point of your movement and what you are addressing to.

GAIL: Danny does send his hellos and regards.

ELIAS: And you may offer my greetings to him also.

GAIL: I appreciate our interaction, and I’ll work on the fun part and relaxing a little bit, and this whole action thing.

ELIAS: Very well! I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be offering my energy to you as always in supportiveness and encouragement. In great friendship, William, and in tremendous affection, au revoir.

GAIL: Thank you.

Elias departs after 54 minutes.

©2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.