Tuesday, November 23, 2004 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anonymous

(Elias’ arrival time is 17 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

ANON: Morning, Elias. How are you?

ELIAS: As always, and yourself?

ANON: I’ve been having a bit of struggling lately, and I just thought we could talk about that. There have been a number of situations that have come up, and I think what I’m dealing with is power and powerlessness. I may not know exactly the right questions, but if you could flesh it out or help me, that would be really great.

ELIAS: Very well. Perhaps begin, and if you are struggling, I shall interject.

ANON: I feel like I’ve been making quite a bit of movement in this shifting, but I feel really incompetent, let’s say, at understanding the creation of our reality. There are a number of questions I have.

ELIAS: What generates this feeling of incompetence?

ANON: (Emotionally) I’m very competent at creating struggle... Sorry, I’m having a hard time right now.

ELIAS: (Gently) There is no need for apology. (Pause)

ANON: I’ll give you an example. They’re all intertwined. Issues with money seem to be the ones that I pay attention to the most. I have a situation that comes up over and over again. I’ve got the litigations, and I fight for ten years to get paid. Then I invest my money with stockbrokers, and they lose it. When I ask them to make good on their recommendations, for example, I got a letter yesterday saying that everything was done fine. To me, it was like the last straw. I kind of was sitting on this piece, not transferring it. Maybe I was waiting a little bit, to be honest. Then I get the letter, and it’s like I’m creating this again!

I create this situation where I feel absolutely powerless. Fine, I’m creating it; I get that. But I create it endlessly. I know I’m looking at it as black and white, but I feel like I’m in this situation where they said no and in order for me to pursue my interests I need to fight again.

ELIAS: And what shall occur if you discontinue the fight?

ANON: (Emotionally) This is where I feel like they’ve won. I know that ego’s getting in there and pride and all that stuff, but...

ELIAS: (Quietly) It is not a matter of not incorporating feelings, my friend. You are not an object; you are an individual. You are a magnificent creation, and you do incorporate feelings, and you do incorporate opinions and preferences and directions. What you are not doing is incorporating gentleness with yourself.

And what shall occur if the perception is that the other individuals have won?

ANON: What will occur?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I feel like I’m not standing up for myself. I told them that if they didn’t make good on it that I would pursue it. I know I can back out of that and just let it go.

At what point do we get to be consciously creating what we want?

ELIAS: At the point in which you are continuously aware of what you are doing, what influences you and what type of energy you are projecting. At that point, you are aware enough to be creating intentionally objectively what you want. In the meantime, we continue to explore and evaluate, to move into that expression and that awareness, and attempt to not force.

Now; what shall be so incredibly disastrous if you choose not to fight?

ANON: Nothing, and I know that. It comes down to, fine, I have to pay $50,000 to get this transferred. Where I was holding a lot of ease around money, I’m not holding a lot of ease anymore. I don’t know why this money thing keeps coming up, but it does. I feel like there’s a struggle between me doing what I need to do...

I’ve given myself some space here in my life to concentrate or be listening to myself, inside me, and honoring what I’m hearing. I couldn’t do that in all the noise of everyday life. I wasn’t able to do all of that all the time so I’m able to understand my information. Then I have things that I go out and objectively create, and it helps me to actually be present all the time to see what I’m creating and understand it. Can you verify that I’m doing that?

ELIAS: Yes. I may also express to you, you equate a significant measure of your worth, of your value, with money, and therefore you also generate significant struggle with it in many different directions and in many different expressions.

What is it that you perceive that you NEED to do?

ANON: What I need to do?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I don’t know. I’ve been working with relaxing with money, for example, allowing that it will just be generated — I don’t know how, I don’t know when; it just will — but my comfort zone is getting a little bit squished here with it. I feel like I need to go and crank up my career again, but I don’t feel like I’m at the place yet to do that and still do what I feel like I need to do for myself right now.

ELIAS: And what is it that you need to do for yourself?

ANON: (Emotionally) I need to understand what my information is. I’ve never allowed myself a quiet time in my whole life to just listen to what my information is. I just listen to my head all the time.

ELIAS: (Slowly and gently) In this now, allow yourself to breathe. BREATHE. (Pause, while Anonymous takes several deep breaths)

Very well. Continue, and breathe, and allow yourself to relax and receive my energy. I am offering you my energy. Allow yourself to feel it surround you. Allow yourself to feel it as a warm blanket in which you may relax into in a comfort in this moment. In this moment, there is no other action that you need to do. In this moment, there is no information that you need to evaluate or that you need to understand, no other action but allowing yourself to relax into my energy. BREATHE.

Now; in this now, no threatening action is occurring. It is difficult to incorporate clarity if you are continuously struggling with yourself and if you are continuously discounting yourself that you are not performing well enough, that you are not creating adequately enough, that you are not generating movement enough.

You ARE moving; you ARE widening your awareness; you ARE listening to yourself more than you have previously. You may not necessarily be generating clarity in all that you do and all that you express, but you are moving and you are widening your awareness.

I am understanding that you generate more of an ease in expressing somewhat of a clarity within yourself if you are merely involving yourself. Much of your confusion is generated as you engage interaction with other individuals. Once other individuals are introduced into your reality, that creates a diversion and that generates less clarity, for the automatic response is to be moving your attention to the other individuals, regardless of who they are or what your interaction with them is.

How the information of creating your reality becomes incorporated in your individual reality is as a means to discount yourself. You do not incorporate that information in these interactions with other individuals as a point of power — you incorporate that information, that concept, that statement that you create all of your reality as a means to discount yourself rather than empower yourself. As you incorporate it as a means to discount yourself, what you create is conflict, or you create expressions of other individuals that you interpret as another discounting of yourself or disempowering of yourself. In that, you perpetuate the struggling.

What is significant is that you allow yourself to relax and genuinely evaluate what you are doing, what type of energy you are expressing and how that is being projected, thusly creating different expressions within YOUR reality and what occurs.

I am understanding that you generate an intellectual understanding of what I am expressing to you. I am also understanding that the actual experiential understanding has not yet quite been grasped. In this, as you allow yourself to be genuinely evaluating what is actually occurring and how you are creating what is occurring, that statement of “you create your reality” becomes your point of power, not your point of disempowerment. (Pause)

In this, what is significant is the element of struggle and fighting. What is the basis of fighting? What are you actually doing and expressing, and what type of energy are you projecting in that action of fighting?

ANON: I’m fighting completely about non-acceptance and anger and discounting. That’s what fighting is.

ELIAS: What is the one term, the one word that defines fighting? Justification.

ANON: Really?

ELIAS: Yes. Fighting is borne of justification. If you are attempting to justify yourself, you fuel the fighting. Without the need for justification, there is no fight, for it is unnecessary to prove yourself, and it is unnecessary to win or to lose. It is not a matter of right and wrong. Those are the expressions of justification: proving and being right and convincing another individual of that. That generates the struggle and the fight.

ANON: I do it a lot, so...

ELIAS: This is the reason that I inquired of you what shall be the devastation if you do not fight.

ANON: Well, in this one it doesn’t matter. Only my pride will be hurt, and I can just go on. It doesn’t matter.

ELIAS: And what is your pride?

ANON: Pride is the ego thing. It’s like a piece of you that holds a big stick that keeps poking you and provoking you to fight, really.

ELIAS: Yes, and how is this beneficial to you?

ANON: It isn’t beneficial, and I’m recognizing that.

Another instance happened — one with Mary happened, and one with a lawyer happened — and I asked about power. I physically asked a week ago “please show me about power,” so I’m getting all of these examples very, very strongly within a week’s timeframe of all the areas where I go into feeling powerless immediately.

ELIAS: I am understanding. But also recognize that these situations are reflections of what you are doing within your energy.

ANON: Can you give me an example of that? I’m doing this with me, I’m struggling with me?

ELIAS: You are struggling with yourself, and in this, the justification occurs once again. Express to myself, what do you view, what do you see that justification has been expressed in these two examples that you have offered?

ANON: I don’t quite understand the question. What justification did I...?

ELIAS: Yes. What are you justifying? What are you reflecting?

ANON: I don’t know, just to find my... It sounds kind of lame, but my point, I guess, or my rights.

ELIAS: And what is your point, and what is your right?

ANON: My right to have freedom, my right to express what I want to express, my right to be treated fairly.

ELIAS: And in these situations, how have you perceived that you have been unfairly treated?

ANON: With the stockbroker and the lawyer, both the same, I had agreements with them about what they would do and that I would pay them a certain amount, and they didn’t do that. I feel like I have no recourse. It feels like I have no recourse.

When I apply this material about discounting myself, about creating my own reality, then I realize that I’ve created this. It comes up over and over again; I’ve been doing it for 15 years now. I go into a pit. I’m sorry; I go into this pit because that’s when I start questioning. (Emotionally) If I’m even remotely creating what I want, then it becomes about me...

ELIAS: Once again, discounting yourself with the term that you are creating your reality.

ANON: Probably, but I don’t know how to...

ELIAS: What instruction did you offer to the broker which was not followed?

ANON: We had an agreement that I’m a conservative investor and that he was to research all of the stuff on his own, not to just rely on other people’s assessments of it, and that there was a reasonable growth expected without going wild, like not high risk and all that stuff. The thing is that I knew that he wasn’t competent years ago, and I should have changed then. But I feel like there’s no help, like there’s no... (Pause)

ELIAS: And what did he do?

ANON: We had a meeting in January where I just said, “Look, this is unacceptable,” and then he was like, “Okay, this is what we’ll do,” and he recommended more things, and we did it. He did it on margin this time, and it ended up being twice as bad. Anyway, I should’ve listened back then, I guess. I don’t know.

ELIAS: And what did you do?

ANON: I wrote them a letter and I said, “Look, I want you to make restitution for everything that happened from January. I’m not going to go back, but this is important.” I was angry with them.

ELIAS: Which is significant.

ANON: They took three months to review it, and they said, “Forget it. Everything was done properly. We can’t guarantee anything.” So that’s fine, it doesn’t matter, they do their job and they get paid for their job even if it’s badly done. (Pause)

ELIAS: (Gently) The point in all of these scenarios, my dear friend, is not the other individuals. It is paying attention to you and not moving into expressions of false power as a reaction to unexpressed power or what you term as your feeling of powerlessness.

ANON: So what should I have done in this situation, then? Is my whole point here just to continuously work hard and struggle?

ELIAS: No, that is not the point.

ANON: (Emotionally) I don’t get it!

ELIAS: I am understanding. That is not the point. The point is to be paying attention.

Now; these experiences have offered you information, for they have offered you examples of what type of energy you are expressing in certain moments. This particular scenario with this individual and what occurred is an example to you: you are aware that you were offering yourself information and you were ignoring it. You are aware that you DID incorporate impressions and you ignored them.

Now; (firmly) this is not to be discounting of yourself further! Do not incorporate that action. Allow yourself to incorporate this information as examples to offer yourself more of an empowerment, to listen to yourself, not to generate the automatic response of being angry.

For what generates anger? Anger is an emotional communication which is expressed in moments in which you as the individual view no choices. Frustration is an emotional communication that is identifying that you are unclear concerning your choices — you realize that you incorporate choices, but you are unclear.

Anger is the communication that is expressing to you objectively (that) in this moment you no longer perceive that you incorporate any choice. Therefore, you generate this emotional communication, which is, in a manner of speaking, the ultimate expression of your powerlessness. Therefore, what is being projected in energy? That you are a victim. That energy is received and reflected, and therefore what occurs? You become the victim.

ANON: When I was trusting over the past few months that everything would work out all right, I wasn’t doing that properly? I understand that I’m using judging words, but right now I don’t have the finesse to not use them.

ELIAS: That is entirely acceptable. You have been moving closer to that acceptance. You have been moving much closer to genuinely listening to yourself. But this is an unfamiliar action, and there are automatic responses that occur. Rather than ultimately discounting yourself with such harshness, view these automatic responses and allow them to be your examples; allow them to offer you information that is empowering.

Let me inquire: within this recent time framework of, let us say, 24 of your hours, what have you been doing? What have you expressed? What have you noticed? What information have you offered to yourself?

First, what have you been doing?

ANON: Yesterday I had a session with my teacher, Patricia, and it was very good because it was... I wanted to talk to you about the work that I do with her. It was very much about connecting to a place of almost timelessness within myself and releasing. I believe there was a lot of releasing going on; my body was just vibrating with releasing. Then after that, I came home and I was tired, and I had a little bit of a nap.

Then I got this letter, and with that letter I just went over the deep end. I know that I went into automatic response; I knew that I was doing it. I didn’t have a lot of objectivity. (Emotionally) But the dichotomy was so different from what I was doing in the morning, of just being in the now with me, that it was like being doused with cold water again! I feel like here I’ve got one world where I’m listening to myself, I’m in the now, I’m in the now, I’m in the now, but then objectively I create something very different. I create struggle, and I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it does. I’m very efficient at creating that.

I was in misery. I couldn’t stop crying last night. I don’t know if I was releasing or what, but I felt completely... We talk about victim, and I understand that. But I feel like I’m a victim to myself more than anything else. I do accept that we create our reality. I do recognize that when I go and start blaming the other person, and I do try to come back and go okay, what’s really going on here.

ELIAS: I am understanding, and I am acknowledging of you.

ANON: (Emotionally) But when do I get to create what I want in my reality? I don’t even know, months can go by. We talk about this one scenario. Well, almost the whole year I... It doesn’t make... You live in the now and live in the now and live in the now, well...

ELIAS: (Gently) Partially your weeping IS a release, but partially it is not. Partially it is a genuine sorrow that is being expressed in association with your own denial of you. I have expressed previously with other individuals that the one expression that you can create that is so contrary to the natural movement and flow of essence, of consciousness, is that of denial. That is the one expression that may move essence to weep.

What you are denying is your own worth. You are attempting in many different directions to justify your very existence and your value, and there is no justification for your value and your worth and your existence. THAT, my friend, is your right, and it needs no justification. It stands on its own. There is no expression within your reality that measures your value or your worthiness. It is innate within you.

I am greatly acknowledging of the interaction that you incorporate with this other individual and your allowance of yourself to flow in energy with this individual. You do allow yourself considerable ease in this interaction with her. NOW begin to allow yourself to generate that with yourself.

You noticed that you expressed an automatic response upon receiving the letter, correct?

ANON: Yes.

ELIAS: Now; in the moment that you noticed that you were generating this automatic response, what did you do?

ANON: I went right into anger and no choice.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: I was trying for the rest of the evening to gain some objectivity. To me, objectivity is the quiet place inside me where I feel like I’m watching my life and I can see what’s going on, but it doesn’t hook me in with huge emotions or anything.

ELIAS: I am aware. But in certain time frameworks in which you are generating an agitated state, it may be quite challenging to move into that state which you term to be objectivity. Rather than attempting to move into that state from a state of agitation — which is actually merely an action of attempting to eliminate the agitation or ignore it or force energy in opposition to it — what may be an easier expression? (Pause) This we have discussed previously.

Rather than attempting to force energy against the experience that you are generating in the moment, you notice that you generate an automatic response, and subsequently, you notice that you are discounting yourself and generating anger. Rather than compounding those experiences and expressions by attempting to force energy in opposition to them to achieve movement into your expression of objectivity — which you do not accomplish in those moments, and that generates what, more frustration and more anger, and therefore perpetuates what you are attempting to eliminate — allow yourself to acknowledge that moment. Allow yourself to acknowledge the automatic response, recognizing it, expressing an acknowledgment to yourself of your recognition of it. If you generate another automatic response of discounting yourself and anger, recognize and acknowledge that also. In that moment, express to yourself an acceptance and an allowance.

Now; not an acceptance and allowance that you shall stop feeling and expressing anger, but the acceptance that you are expressing anger, you recognize what that is, you acknowledge the feeling, and you allow yourself momentarily to express. Subsequent to that expression, you may incorporate the ability to generate more of a calm and to allow yourself to relax enough to evaluate what occurred in that automatic response, what occurred in which you perceived yourself to incorporate no choice, what is being triggered in your perception equated with your value — for you thusly recognize that you are automatically expressing a justification of yourself to be proving your value, which is unnecessary. Allow your...

ANON: It’s what we think we want or what we want to accomplish or generate and we continuously don’t generate it, but we still need to understand that we have value and that it doesn’t matter. See, this is the hard piece, because I understand that in essence, but we still live...

ELIAS: Yes, I am understanding.

ANON: ...in this physical reality. Why does there need to be all the lessons?

ELIAS: First of all, they are not lessons.

ANON: I know, I know! But they seem to be.

ELIAS: I am understanding. But in this, let me express to you, it is worthy of your evaluation if you continue to THINK that you want a particular manifestation and you consistently do not create it.

There may be an element of what you want, which is being translated in your thought processes, but it may not be entirely accurate. What you actually want may be somewhat different from what you think you want. This is the key. This is the reason that I continuously emphasize, to you and to all other individuals, the most important element to pay attention to is what you are actually doing — which also incorporates what you are not doing.

ANON: The most prominent one, because it’s been so consistent in our discussions, is money. And you know what? If you tell me that that’s not what I want to generate then I’ll just give it up, because to me the struggle right now is just too much.

ELIAS: I may express to you, this is an example of what I am discussing with you. Within your thought process it is quite black and white: either you want money or you do not want money.

ANON: No, that was in response to what you said, to examine...

ELIAS: I am aware of what you want! Examine what you want, and examine that in the evaluation of what you think you want and what you do, which is inconsistent with what you think you want, recognizing, as I have stated, that your thoughts may be expressing a partial translation but perhaps not entirely accurate. Therefore, there may be an element of what you want that incorporates money, but that may not necessarily be the MAIN want. It is the want that you see.

ANON: It’s connected with freedom. That’s what I connect money with, and I understand that it’s freedom. So what do you see, then? Can you help me out here? This is driving me a little bit crazy. You know what? I just don’t want to fight anymore.

ELIAS: And that is what you are efficiently moving yourself into.

ANON: What, not fighting, or fighting?

ELIAS: Not fighting; giving up.

ANON: Giving up?

ELIAS: Yes, which in actuality may be quite beneficial. What I view within your energy of what you want — yes, you are correct — freedom is what you want. That is directly associated with your desire and that is quite strong, but that is not necessarily associated with money. That is your automatic response and automatic association — and that is an element of the snare, which is the reason that it is important to be paying attention to what you are actually doing and what you are actually creating, for this is expressing information to you concerning what you genuinely want.

ANON: So until I get clear on that, I won’t be able to generate money if I want. What’s the harm in me generating money, regardless? There’s nothing, no harm if I can create my reality the way I want to.

ELIAS: There is no harm, and money is not...

ANON: Am I not capable of doing that? Maybe I’m just getting too caught up in it.

ELIAS: That is not the point. The point is what have we discussed previously. What do you create? You create what you concentrate upon. You are quite concentrated upon lack of money and not creating it, and therefore that is what you are creating.

ANON: I was also concentrating pretty hard on letting go and letting everything just flow, and I wasn’t doing it then, either. Maybe I wasn’t doing it enough, I don’t know.

ELIAS: No, there is a difference between thinking and concentrating. Concentrating involves your beliefs and what is being expressed continuously, underlyingly, regardless of what you express to yourself in your thoughts.

ANON: So I need to look at these beliefs again. I have blockages there, is that right?

ELIAS: Obstacles.

ANON: Are they big ones or are they something that...?

ELIAS: I may express to you, allowing yourself to allow yourself is important. Do you recall our discussion concerning your natural flow of energy?

ANON: Yes.

ELIAS: And how you naturally incorporate some elements of rigidity and structure?

ANON: Yes.

ELIAS: I have spoken to you of flexibility in association with control, but not to be struggling with yourself in association with your natural flow of energy, which naturally expresses that structure and rigidity, correct?

ANON: Yes.

ELIAS: Now; in that, what I am expressing to you is to ALLOW yourself. In moments in which you are attempting to relax, you are attempting to FORCE relaxation. In moments in which you are expressing anger or disappointment, you are FORCING eliminating those. Regardless of what you choose to engage or what you choose to do, you are automatically OPPOSING yourself.

Therefore, where is your concentration focused? Upon lack. Not merely lack of money, lack of any expression that you want regardless of what it is. For whatever you engage, you also automatically oppose, and that generates the expression of what you expressed to myself of trying and trying and trying.

Trying does not accomplish. It holds you in a snare of non-allowance, and it perpetuates struggle. You are TRYING to relax; you are TRYING to eliminate anger; you are TRYING not to express automatic responses; you are TRYING to be expressing your state of objectivity; you are TRYING to incorporate clarity; you are TRYING to be accepting. And in all of this trying, you are forcing energy and you are struggling against yourself and you are not allowing.

ANON: Allowing is what you said before about noticing it, accepting it, recognizing it, and then once that happens, my calmness and relaxation will help me to evaluate it more clearly.

ELIAS: Yes, rather than trying so very hard.

ANON: I can do that, that’s for sure. We’re out of time.

ELIAS: And let me express once more to you: allow yourself a gentleness, my friend. You are certainly worthy of it. You would express it with another individual.

ANON: Are you saying that I do, or I should?

ELIAS: You would express that gentleness with other individuals. You do not with yourself. Are you less worthy of your own gentleness than any other individual within your reality? No. Accept from myself.

I shall be in this time framework offering you my energy in a strength of supportiveness, for I am aware that you are expressing quite a fragileness within yourself in this time framework. You have expressed such harshness. Accept my gentleness to hold you until that time framework in which you may more easily express it to yourself. Shall you accept it?

ANON: I was going to say I’ll try! (Laughs)

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! No trying! Allowing.

ANON: That’s a hard one for me, but I’ll allow.

ELIAS: And I shall offer. Allow yourself to receive.

ANON: I really appreciate that. Sometimes I feel really alone and isolated.

ELIAS: And you are not, for I am always with you.

ANON: I guess I haven’t allowed that objective awareness. Well, sometimes I do. Can I ask you if you had anything to do with that crow or whatever bird was there the other day? It was just a weird incident with this bird.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Was that you?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: You were not blue, though; you were black. But you were beautiful.

ELIAS: A Sumafi expression. (Laughs)

ANON: I would love to see you again that way. I was just enthralled with the beauty of that expression. Just amazing.

Just quickly, do I have any connection with Veronica Franco?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Was I her? Is she another essence of mine, or was I in that timeframe?

ELIAS: In that time framework and known to that individual.

ANON: Was I one of her customers?

ELIAS: Known quite well to that individual.

ANON: There’s a strength in her that I connect to very strongly.

Poor Mary; this has gone a lot longer than normal.

ELIAS: Which has been MY choice, and my choice to be offering to you. Therefore, do not discount yourself again and be expressing apology!

ANON: I’ll try. (Laughs) No, I’ll allow!

ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be continuing to express this blanket with you.

ANON: Thank you. I really appreciate it, and much love. Thank you.

ELIAS: To you in great affection, tremendous lovingness and sweet fondness, au revoir.

ANON: Au revoir, Elias.

(Elias departs after 1 hour, 9 minutes.)

©2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.