Saturday, August 14, 2004 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael, Howard (Bosht) and Margot (Giselle)

(Elias’ arrival time is 14 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

HOWARD: Good afternoon!

MARGOT: Hi, Elias! (Elias laughs)

ELIAS: And what shall we discuss?

HOWARD: I called Mary or sent an email trying to get an immediate session, which was prompted by a health issue, and in the interim, while it’s still there, the need doesn’t seem to be as dire. So I would like to put that off until the end.

ELIAS: Very well.

HOWARD: Since the phone call, two or three weeks have transpired and I’ve been noticing some emotions. I have been noticing, especially in my heart area, that when I am not occupied doing something that I am obligated to do, as in work... And I have to say that obligation is not the word, it’s something to be done. When I am involved and my mind is occupied in this mundane work, I am not paying attention to my physical body. But when I am doing something at the same time, such as writing stories or poetry, I find myself to be very emotionally involved, and this includes recreations such as watching movies and other things.

At the top of my list regarding reactions and emotions, what I have since learned or what we have called a TFE, took place on my fiftieth birthday. There is a short story that I wrote called “Lone Wolf of the Two Feathers.” Every time I read that story, I become very emotional, and I start to cry. It really affects me. I’m quite pleased that I wrote the story. I am quite impressed with its brevity. It’s one of those stories, TFE-wise or made-up imagination floats, that I am very proud of. There are other memories in my head that are not quite as lovely.

I guess what I am asking is I am looking for confirmation, I guess, that She-Na-E-Ka, Lone Wolf, was a very loved person, who was also very comfortable with himself and his afflictions. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes. (Pause)

HOWARD: I cannot go on with this because I get so emotional.

ELIAS: It is a validation to yourself, my friend, of appreciation, and appreciation is a powerful expression. This is the reason that you generate such a strength in emotional communication. Your emotional communication is your validation of your appreciation and your capacity to appreciate.

HOWARD: Well! I am sure glad that I knew him, or he was me! (Elias laughs) Quite a guy. I’m trying to dry the tears now and change the subject to something I am not quite as involved with.

There was some discussion in the various Elias lists regarding Beethoven and Mozart. Since we, Margot and I, had just returned from Vienna and spoke to you, I believe someone on the list suggested that you were or you had a focus as Mozart.

ELIAS: No.

HOWARD: Which is entirely okay, it doesn’t matter to me, but someone else suggested that he was Patel. (Pause)

ELIAS: No.

HOWARD: That leaves me with me! Since I have felt a great connection to Mozart, I would like to suggest that I might have had a focus of him.

ELIAS: Observing. (Pause)

HOWARD: I’m still not composed yet, so I’ll do a couple of other impressions.

We were watching the Democratic convention, and this fellow Barack Obama, the Senatorial candidate for Illinois, seems very familiar to me. I think I saw his speech three times, and Margot saw it twice. I picked up something in his speech that rang really familiar. I heard him say things in a manner that I recognized, and I thought of Carlos Santana. Are they focuses of the same essence?

ELIAS: No, but express a similar energy.

HOWARD: Is this like a counterpart, or am I picking up the energy, which I seem to do quite often. They’re just similar?

ELIAS: There is a similarity of energies, and you do incorporate other focuses with each of these individuals.

HOWARD: (Laughs) I am sure of that. Since we are on this same subject of impressions, I wonder if Larry Flynt, the publisher who is very outspoken and sometimes called a very vulgar man, whether he was a focus of my friend and former room mate, David W.?

ELIAS: Counterpart.

HOWARD: And regarding David himself, is he still alive?

ELIAS: And shall you investigate?

HOWARD: I could...

ELIAS: You are quite correct, you can!

HOWARD: We have some lose ends, Dave and I, to take care of.

ELIAS: Ah, and what would that be?

HOWARD: It’s called obligations.

ELIAS: Ah, obligations!

HOWARD: Three thousand dollars, and my abandonment of him when he was in need of some friendship.

ELIAS: Which is a choice, and which you continue to carry.

HOWARD: Well, all right, it’s not killing me. But it’s curiosity, currently.

This morning when I was talking to Ruther, I had this thought, just a random one before we start to get more serious again, that she has a focus as Joan Didion, the author of several books including “Where I Was Born.”

ELIAS: Correct.

HOWARD: She’ll be pleased to know that! (Elias laughs) I guess I am not really ready to get to the meat yet.

ELIAS: Very well. Perhaps you may invent a game.

HOWARD: Excuse me?

ELIAS: Perhaps you may invent a game.

HOWARD: (Laughs) All right! I think we established in Vienna that Lisbeth/Sebastia has a focus also of Kathie B., my friend.

ELIAS: Observing. Yes, and therefore you sense a familiar energy.

HOWARD: Thanks for that clarification. Which makes my next question even more curious. Did we agree that Sebastia had a focus as the Baroness “Nica” de Koenigswarter, the friend of Thelonius Monk?

ELIAS: Yes...

HOWARD: Because I thought that was my friend Kathie, also.

ELIAS: Yes...

HOWARD: So what do we have going on here?

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Now; this once again incorporates the subject of the choice of the focus, and that if there are observing essences of any focus, it is the choice of the focus which essence it aligns with more strongly, and the focus incorporates the choice to alter that, which does occur. This is the reason that I do not necessarily generate a distinction between an observing essence and a directing essence. I have expressed that distinction at your requests and for your understanding, for you generate less confusion and more of an ease if you allow yourselves to categorize and place different concepts in neat little absolute boxes. (Chuckles) But those little absolute boxes incorporate no sides; therefore, they are not containers.

In this, this is an illustration of the significance of the individual, that the individual is the embodiment of essence and is not being controlled or directed by some entity that you associate as larger than the individual — that being essence — but that the individual chooses. Any individual that incorporates what you identify as a directing AND observing essences, it is the choice of that individual which essence it shall align with in any time framework more strongly. Therefore, an observing essence may become the directing essence at the choice of the individual. As I have explained previously to other individuals, in such situations, the individual may be one essence and may alter that and subsequently be a different essence AND may subsequently return to the initial essence, if so choosing.

These are not necessarily what you would term to be objectively recognized in any particular moment, but dependent upon the essences that are so-called involved with any one particular focus and dependent upon the expressions and qualities of each of those essences, there maybe some what of a notable alteration in the experiences or the qualities or the personality or the talents, so to speak, of the individual that may be noticed in different time frameworks. For if the essence that is observing becomes the chosen essence of the focus, the essence that is observing may incorporate different qualities than the previous essence. That would be reflected in the experience or in the talents or in the qualities or even in the personality of the individual.

Now; if the essences express similar qualities, the individual may not necessarily display dramatic alterations within their focus, and therefore it may be somewhat more subtle and less obvious. But as I have expressed, in actuality there is no distinction between an observing essence and a directing essence, for it is not the choice of the essence, so to speak, to be directing or observing. It is the choice of the focus.

HOWARD: That might explain some of Mozart’s schizophrenic behavior. (Elias laughs loudly) Would it not?

ELIAS: That is quite possible!

HOWARD: Yes, especially when he was younger with that hysterical laugh of his, which sounds very much like mine. Okay, I think I have an idea initiating — observing and directing, I can see something going on here in terms of my paradigm of understanding. I thank you for that.

So, could I ask you what my friend Kathie B.’s essence name is, please?

ELIAS: You may. I may express, essence name, Naktu, N-A-K-T-U (nahk TOO).

HOWARD: Cool! Now if I could ever find a wedge to introduce that, I’ll see what she has to say. (Elias laughs) She’s more or less on the same plane as all of us, but she’s not really there, or with me, anyway.

The reason I brought up Nica, the Baroness, was that Thelonius’ wife and his mother, I don’t have any real feeling about them. Not that I should, but sometimes when you investigate things, things occur. Not in the same way that I might have about Mary Lee, Jimmy Reed’s wife, or Alberta Hunter, both of whom were focuses of Margot. Mary Lee knew Jimmy and Alberta knew Thelonius, and I was just curious — do I happen to know anybody in this present time or in my present life time — I do want to include dead parents and relatives — did I know them? That is to say, is Nellie, Thelonius’ wife, one of these people? (Pause)

ELIAS: Yes.

HOWARD: Would that person be passed away now?

ELIAS: Yes.

HOWARD: The list is getting very short here. (Elias laughs) And not a relative?

ELIAS: Correct.

HOWARD: The list is very short. Thank you.

I have a conversation that is going on with Anjuli regarding New Testament/old Bible stuff. Since this thought-ball occurred during the TFE regarding the castrations of the young men who were being groomed to be the Messiah, and my knowing so very much that this was an impression of Joseph who was present there, I have a feeling that Joseph decided to be celibate from that moment on. I suggested to Anjuli that Jesus was not fathered by Joseph but by someone else, who was the biological father of. Is my impression correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

HOWARD: Wow! So I suggested to her, and she may have investigated this further without my knowledge, I like Joseph of Arimathea to be Christ’s father. (Pause, and Elias chuckles) That’s it?

ELIAS: And I acknowledge that you WISH that to be! (Howard cracks-up) And also that you LIKE that! (They both laugh harder) And I may also express to you no.

HOWARD: Oh shoot!

ELIAS: But you have offered yourself a playfulness with that idea and that “like”!

HOWARD: I have a room full of playfulness. It’s almost overwhelming, like Styrofoam packing balls. These little impressions just come and go. Next I should like to know who Joseph of Arimathea was.

ELIAS: Joseph of Arimathea! (Laughing)

HOWARD: You’re not playing the game, Elias.

ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha! I am. I am merely playing with your rules (laughs), which creates a more fun game!

HOWARD: Okay. We’ll leave it to Anjuli.

ELIAS: Very well!

HOWARD: That would be appropriate, don’t you think?

ELIAS: (Laughs) I would be in agreement.

HOWARD: Next then, since Anjuli knows that Mary had another child, was that child — and this is important to history — was that child named Simeon?

ELIAS: One.

HOWARD: And was that Simeon known as Simon Cyrene?

ELIAS: No.

HOWARD: Drats! I thought I had something there. And finally with the old biblical stuff, there is a Mary known as Mary Cleopas, the Virgin Mary’s sister, question mark. Was this Mary the focus of Margot?

ELIAS: Yes.

HOWARD: She’ll be pleased to here that. I can’t follow up this biological father of Jesus just yet; I’ll have to do that later or until my mind clears. (Elias laughs)

Sandel, she sent me an email which triggered a memory, and we’ll get into that memory shortly, but first I was just about to tell her that I wanted to experiment, explore a little more of the Bauhaus and the teaching academy and the main personalities. Since I have a great love and respect for Mies van der Rohe, I had decided that Fran had a focus as Mies. Is this correct?

ELIAS: Known to that individual and expresses tremendous admiration.

HOWARD: In that case, that would be Marcel Breuer?

ELIAS: Yes.

HOWARD: Wow, she invented a chair for me. Isn’t that amazing. And then as for Paul Klee, his imagery brought back a book. I was going to send it to my son, Christopher, and this is so much Chris. Was Paul Klee a focus of Christopher?

ELIAS: Counterpart and observing.

HOWARD: Oh! That’s wonderful.

Last week we rented the movie Osama. For those who haven’t seen the movie, it’s about a young girl who reached puberty whose mother disguised her as a young boy so that she would be able to work and bring food home in the Taliban culture of Afghanistan, prior to the war. It’s a movie, it’s just a story. And it was incredibly difficult for me to sit through. I was seeing it through multiple eyes, since in this lifetime I have lived in the Mideast and I know the culture to the degree that I allowed myself to know the culture. I was getting upset with a lot of conflicting emotions. For a while there, I thought it was because of my involvement in the early days of Islam and my friendship with Mohammed. But then my current view, I kept reminding myself, is completely different than what it was in 600 AD. I was up and down, up and down. Standing, walking, pacing, and I have to admit that a lot of the stuff was bleed-through and conflict of the beliefs that I held then and am holding currently.

I was telling Margot that I was certain that the Abu Bakr part of me was very disturbed with the Taliban and their mistreatment of the people and the corruption of the Koran. Whatever was going on, I could not sit still. It was like revisiting events in his life, in Abu’s life, where he spent most of his life, at least the last part, battling the perversion of the Word, which I took to be Islam itself. I got the sense that the real Koran was much smaller in content, not voluminous, and he was the individual who was trying to keep it clean and simple.

So after the movie was over, I went to bed and I started dreaming. Immediately I was obsessed — and I put that in quotes, “obsessed” — with the perversion. I became very dedicated to eliminating, not just neutralizing or incarcerating, but eliminating the Taliban and then Al-Qaeda and then all of the people who committed crimes against the people of Afghanistan.

I seemed to ride a very nice thoroughbred stallion, a black and white horse, which didn’t have a saddle but a girth-like strap that had stirrups attached, and I had three very large hounds — not quite Afghans, more shorthaired like Salukis or Greyhounds, but very large. They were as tall as a small burro, donkey. I had green eyes, an easy manner, something like a pointy-toed slipper-like thing, flowing tannish cloak. I was tall, and now and then I was clean-shaven, and at other times I had a goatee, and so on and so forth. My appearance seemed to change slightly.

Anyway, I would send the dogs out ahead of me, and along the way, we would find out where the hidden land mines were in this present time and explode them. We would find out who would be hiding in ambush and confront them. And whenever I would meet someone they would glow in a color: black was for Taliban, bluish for Al-Qaeda, and red for the criminal. Normal people were white-orange, yellow-orange, green. I seemed to know who everyone was and their deeds. It was a very dream-like state.

In a town, if someone were to ask me what I was doing, I would say — and this is important, because it kept coming back — “My name is Howard, I am called Abu Bakr, I am known as Zadikiel, the protector of the people and the protector of the freedom, and I am here to kill the Taliban and the enemies of the people and freedom.”

Now, Zadikiel, I worked with that name a lot in conscious moments. I had no idea who this was, but it seemed to strike fear in the person, and the fear itself created the colors. The people became more colorful so that I could identify who they were. To make the story short, I would go though the town along with the dogs. I first went through the town and literally eliminated all of the Taliban, and if anyone of these people tried to escape, the dogs would take care of them. And I would come back to the person who asked me and I would say, “I’ll be back for the Al-Qaeda next, and then I will be back for the criminals.” And I would go away.

I have since learned that this Zadikiel is an archangel, who is a protector and a very benevolent person. But the dream had Abu Bakr evoking the name of Zadikiel, and there’s Islamic folklore that I don’t know about. I guess I would like to know what is Zadikiel’s connection to me or to Abu Bakr? Was he a trance channeler of Zadikiel, like Mohammed was of Gabriel? What was going on there?

ELIAS: This is imagery that you are presenting to yourself concerning YOU now, and your associations. It is also imagery that you are presenting to yourself concerning energy and the type of energy that is being expressed in association with expressed beliefs, and what that motivates in action. You generate the playing out of this type of scenario as an illustration to yourself, and you have all of your components in place in association with your beliefs now: that of the spirit that is supposedly guiding and helpful, that of the other individual that generates compassion and strength, that of yourself that is avenging and also, within your perception, helpful in righting wrongs. In a manner of speaking, within your imagery you become the so-called Zorro of the east.

This imagery is significant, for what it presents to you is an opportunity to examine your beliefs and the type of energy that you project, and that in association with beliefs and truths, or your truths, you may in actuality be projecting a similar type of energy to that which you deem to be unacceptable or that which you deem to be bad or wrong. But in the strength of your expression, in a different manner, you may be projecting a very similar type of energy, which is significant especially within this time framework, in which there is such a tremendous potential and ease to be expressing energy in extremes and polarizations.

In this, the point is to be generating balance and to be aware of what type of energy you are projecting and therefore whether you are contributing to the polarization of energy or not. The manner in which you allow yourself to examine that and recognize what type of energy you are projecting is to be aware of your beliefs and which influences of those beliefs you express, and which influences you chose and therefore justify.

For in this, you have offered yourself imagery of what you view to be an extreme situation, which is your imagery offering yourself information that the subject matter that you are addressing in this imagery concerns extremes. In this, let me express to you, my friend, extremes are not always generated in what you view or assess to be uncomfortable situations or in what you deem to be bad experiences. Extremes may also be generated in excitement or righteousness, and in that, the reason they become extremes is that they are associated with expectations. You may be generating an experience that you assess to be good and exciting and even pleasurable, but it may evolve into an extreme if there is an expectation associated with it.

The association of expectation in this imagery of what you view to be good and bad and your elimination of the bad is that once you have purged the bad, it shall change the reality, it shall change the other individuals, it shall change their choices and their philosophy — for your philosophy is right and their philosophy is unacceptable. This is also an imagery that you present yourself concerning your truths. Those beliefs that are not associated with your truths may be viewed as less desirable or hindering or bad, and therefore also need be eliminated. This is an opportunity for you to view how easily it is expressed to generate a perception of black and white.

HOWARD: Yep. It’s the horse.

ELIAS: Correct. And also the strength of each individual’s truths as being absolute and unquestioned, and how very strongly those truths influence your choices and your perception and your motivation. There is much information to be considered in this imagery.

HOWARD: Yes, very much.

ELIAS: I am acknowledging of you that you allowed yourself to pay attention to this particular imagery, for it may be quite informative to you.

HOWARD: Yes, it is, because the feelings that I have are debilitating and stressful, which I think finally brings us to the final question regarding my health.

There is something seriously wrong with me, and I am not at all pleased with it. It involves my heart, which I didn’t know I had an issue with until I went to the doctor and got focused on that, and the other part is my intestines and stomach. I was trying to figure out the proper imagery that I am suffering from, but the closest I can come to is something called a prolapsed rectum. Although it’s not cancerous in any way, it’s a very deep bother to me, because for the most part, for the first six hours of my awake-fullness during the day, I’ve got to be within five feet of the toilet because my sphincter muscle doesn’t work. And it’s kinda embarrassing. That coupled with...

ELIAS: Now, stop. Allow yourself to recognize what you are creating in physical imagery that reflects what you have been doing for an ongoing time framework. What you are reflecting in physical imagery in manifestation is an inability to control restriction and contraction, which is a reflection of what you have been doing for an ongoing time framework, attempting to be expressing control by holding energy and expressing that tension and restriction of yourself and of your energy, and the restriction of allowance and freedom and relaxation. You have incorporated that action for such a time framework, and have not been paying attention and have been attempting to ignore that action, that you are incorporating a different type of manifestation now to move your attention. The physical manifestation is being generated in comparable intensity to what you have been expressing in energy.

HOWARD: I had this conversation with you before I woke up, and I said to you okay, what do I do about it?

ELIAS: First of all, you may begin in creating an inner landscape. The purpose of the inner landscape is to allow yourself to relax, to NOT express control, to NOT restrict, and to trust that your physical body consciousness knows how to function naturally. Therefore, in generating an inner landscape, you do not focus upon a particular manifestation. You generate a landscape, and you allow the expression of your imagination to generate a colorful and a creative landscape that naturally moves in harmony with certain elements of your landscape that consume other elements. But the consumed elements are also created in an expression of beauty, not in an unwanted manifestation. For in that action, you are acknowledging the creativity of what you have manifest and acknowledging the perfection of how it reflects so precisely what you have been generating in action and in energy. Therefore, there is no discounting, there is an expression of trust, and there is an acknowledgment and appreciation, which allows the physical body consciousness to be generating its natural functions.

Now; that is a beginning. I may also express to you to be noticing how often and how frequently and how automatically you are holding energy and attempting to be controlling and restricting your own movement, restricting your own energy unless it may be expressed within the guidelines of your rigidity.

HOWARD: Do I take that also to mean that just in terms of objective stuff, like to have more color for example, going out in the garden planting flowers or... Are we talking about deeds here or just mind-set? Do I buy a new car?

ELIAS: No. I am expressing that you generate practicing an inner landscape. An inner landscape is associated with your physical body, but it is a visualization in which you create a landscape, and in that landscape or seascape, you create the images of creatures and vegetation that move in harmony with each other, and ones that consume the others, but in a natural manner, and that whatever is being consumed within your landscape should be expressed as some element that you appreciate.

As an example, perhaps within your landscape you create a beautiful meadow and within that meadow there are many different delicate flowers and also perhaps small rabbits that gently move within the meadow and consume the flowers. But there is an appreciation of the flowers and their beauty and their fragrance, and there is also an appreciation of the rabbits and their natural movement within your landscape. You may choose any landscape. You may choose any scenario. Whatever is pleasing and preferred to you and whatever may be incorporated with appreciation by yourself is to be included within your inner landscape.

Now; the point of this inner landscape is to offer an appreciation and a trust of your physical body consciousness in its ability to function naturally without your control, for it is not necessary to control. It also serves as an interruption of your concentration. It allows you to move your concentration to appreciation rather than concentrating upon the perpetuation of the physical manifestation. As you continue to concentrate on the physical manifestation, you continue to create it. Therefore, this action incorporates another purpose also in interrupting that concentration and allowing you to stop momentarily your concentration upon the physical manifestation and therefore interrupt your creation of it. It also reinforces your trust of yourself. It also allows you to intentionally relax and to stop holding energy.

In this, that is one exercise that I am encouraging of you to be incorporating. I also shall be encouraging of you to be paying attention to any moment that you notice that you are generating tension in energy within your physical body in association with control and restriction. I am aware that you perceive yourself to be engaging an alteration of certain structures within your focus, correct?

HOWARD: Yes.

ELIAS: Now; in that, notice how frequently you express this restriction of yourself and this tension. For you are not producing in the familiar manner, and that triggers issues of control. All of these factors of restriction are generating reflections in physical manifestations. You are reflecting the intensity of the uncomfortableness of the alterations of your structure with the uncomfortable reflection in physical manifestation, which is quite understandable, for the alteration of the structure is also what you may consider a physical expression. You are physically altering the structure of your focus and what you do.

And in all of these expressions I encourage you to be expressing a gentleness with yourself. DO NOT FORCE ENERGY. Remember, there is a tremendous strength in energy which is being expressed now, and ANY individual may be receiving that energy quite easily, and if not aware of what they are doing, may very easily create extremes.

HOWARD: Thank you. If Margot has any questions — she seems to think the session is nearly over — but if she has anything to add, I would be happy to turn it over to her.

MARGOT: Our time is up, Howard. I’ll make another date with Elias.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend. I shall be anticipating that. I express to you both my tremendous affection, as always, and I shall be offering my energy to each of you in strength in supportiveness and encouragement. And I encourage both of you to be intentionally generating playfulness, which shall generate more of an ease in whatever you are endeavoring to create.

MARGOT: Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome. My dear friends, as always I offer to you great lovingness. In friendship, au revoir.

HOWARD: Good-bye.

Elias departs after 1 hour, 11 minutes.

(1) Howard’s Note: Ha! I am so clever.

(2) Howard’s Note: I had a dickens of a time pronouncing her name! Forgive me Nica!!! Anyway, the Baroness is a fascinating person and there should be a movie about her. She was a child of the Rothschild banking family. She became the patroness of modern jazz, sometime called the “Bebop Baroness.” Charlie Parker, the jazz trumpeter, was with her when he died; she was caregiver for Thelonious Monk for the last years of his life. This is a list of pieces written by the masters of be-bop, and modern jazz in her honor: Gigi Gryce's "Nica's Tempo", Sonny Clark's "Nica", Horace Silver's "Nica's Dream", Kenny Dorham's "Tonica", Kenny Drew's "Blues for Nica", Freddie Redd's "Nica Steps Out", Barry Harris's "Inca", Tommy Flanagan's "Thelonica" and Thelonious Monk's "Pannonica" were all named after her.

I have a personal testimony from my friend Kathie, which I have never forgotten and I will keep to myself for the time being. It was like I was talking to Nica herself, although I did not know the connection between Thelonious, me, Nica and her at the time. That is why Lisbeth/Sebastia was so familiar to me. I love you Lisbeth and thank you and Gerhard/Doro for opening your house to us.

©2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.