I Like That I Do It That Way!
“I Like That I Do It That Way!”
Sunday, September 28, 2003 (Private/In-Person)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Pat (Ling-Tu)
Elias arrives at 6:18 AM. (Arrival time is 21 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
PAT: Good morning, Elias! I’m not going to ask you how you are because I know you’re so great! (Laughs with Elias) I’m going to launch right into my questions, okay?
ELIAS: Very well.
PAT: In my first session, I asked about my son, Dillon, having a focus who drowned, and you said no, witness to a drowning. My question is, was this a focus of his who survived the sinking of the ship Titanic? (Pause)
PAT: He loves the Titanic! He’s obsessed with it now. Can you give me a name? I don’t know a name.
PAT: I want HIM to investigate!
ELIAS: This would be his choice.
PAT: Yeah, darn it. It would be, wouldn’t it? Is David Bowie a focus of my friend Gail, whose essence name is Minnie?
ELIAS: Observing essence.
PAT: And for Paneus, he would like to know if the name of his Egyptian priestess is Ashamii, A-S-H-A-M-I-I?
PAT: I’m going to read this. This is another question for him, and I’m going to read this verbatim because I don’t understand it. It’s physics. “In String/F Theory, the reason that the theory has two dimensions of time is that the second one is associating with pacing,” then he has in parenthesis, “(frequency of vibrations of the elementary strings that compose matter). Thus, the other dimensions all around us are just shifted, based on a faster time slot.” (Pause)
ELIAS: Partially. It is not a rule, and some other dimensions do not incorporate time in a manner of more rapidity. Some other dimensions do not incorporate time. But I am understanding what the association is with regard to matter; therefore, there is qualification, for some other dimensions do not incorporate actual matter.
PAT: Thank you. Can I please have the essence name for my friend Kim A, please? (Pause)
ELIAS: Essence name, Alietha, A-L-I-E-T-H-A (uh LEETH uh).
PAT: Thank you. And for her daughter, Lexie, Alexa? (Pause)
ELIAS: Essence name, Lauwlin, L-A-U-W-L-I-N (L’OUW lin).
PAT: Is she Sumari/Zuli? She’s belonging to Sumari, aligned with Zuli?
PAT: Just like my daughter Rachel/Vanessa, essence name Vanessa. Do they share a focus where they are sisters?
PAT: That’s so great. For my friend Shannon, her essence name, please? (Pause)
ELIAS: Essence name, Quan Wu, Q-U-A-N, second word, W-U (KWAN WOO).
PAT: I have trouble about her essence families. I’m thinking Sumafi/Sumari.
PAT: She and I share nine focuses together?
PAT: Is the opera singer Adelina Patty a focus of mine?
PAT: Yay! Is the Chinese novelist Ting Ling a focus of mine as well?
PAT: Fran/Sandel gave me that one. I share a focus with my friend Melissa, essence name Adelle, and my friend Jose, essence name Lowe, where I am the grandmother, Adelle is the mother and Lowe is the son, correct?
PAT: How about that! This is so great! What is my connection to the director Robert Rodriguez? My impression, I’m observing essence or similarity in tone.
ELIAS: Your second impression is correct.
PAT: Similarity in tone, right? Now this question, is Selma Hayek, the actress, a focus of mine?
PAT: Is one of my dream triggers a telephone?
PAT: Great. Now, my focus who’s a clown in Cirque du Soleil, is he pictured in the calendar that I have in my office at work?
PAT: Is he the clown in the blue costume with the tail?
PAT: (Screams in glee) I knew that, I’m so excited about that! (Elias chuckles) I know, I gotta have a tail! I love that! (Laughs) That’s so funny!
Now, when I get the shivers like that, that’s my validation and recognition of myself as essence, that’s how I communicate to myself something accurate, right?
PAT: Is Linda, essence name Shiktah, of soft orientation? She believes she’s soft.
PAT: And her husband Leo, is he common?
PAT: Great, thank you for that.
Now listen to this great dream. In my dream I’m sleeping and the phone rings. I kind of rouse myself up to answer the phone and I say, “Hello?” and I hear, “Hi, Pat?” I say yes, very sleepy and he says, “Hi, it’s Skip,” and I say, “Who?” Again he says, “Skip. You know, you anchored me in Room 32.” I say, “What time is it?” and get up to look at the clock in my bedroom, and I see that the time is 2:44 AM. And again, Skip is saying, “You anchored me in Room 32,” and I say, “Oh?” and then there’s nothing there. So I say, “Skip?” and there’s silence. So I go, “Skip?” Silence. The third time I say, “Skip?” and there’s no answer, then I wake up from the dream. Can I tell you what I think this is?
PAT: I was so excited about that dream — I loved that dream — and I was talking with Ashrah and I told her about the dream, that I thought it had something to do with the portals class at the Alterversity. So she said, “I’ll meditate about that; I’ll think about that.”
We talked to each other again and she said when she meditated on it all she heard was that song “Skip, skip, skip to my Lou” and that she doesn’t know what that means. I started laughing, because my interpretation of that was that one of her dream triggers is a toilet, which is also called the loo, which could be a toilet as a portal. So is it about the portals class at the Alterversity?
PAT: Okay. Darn! (Laughs)
ELIAS: Now; allow yourself to examine this dream. What is your impression as to how it parallels with some objective action and interplay that you incorporate? The objective and the subjective parallel and are always in harmony; therefore, what you present to yourself in subjective action you are also generating objectively.
PAT: Well, I don’t know then. At first, I thought it maybe was my wanting to project into other dimensions but having fear, and believing that I need to be anchored before I go through a portal.
PAT: I don’t know the rest of it.
ELIAS: Examine the imagery of “skip.”
PAT: Like skipping? Like that kind of skip?
PAT: Oh, just give it to me! (Laughs)
ELIAS: The idea of skipping, in a figurative manner, in association with jumping beyond.
PAT: In that I think I need steps? Not to skip something, right? That I need to have a certain method in order to do something and I need to cover all of that, rather than being able to just skip to something?
ELIAS: Yes, but you presented yourself with the term “skip” repeatedly to emphasize...
PAT: That I can!
PAT: Yeah! That I can leap, that I don’t need to have that, that I can skip over and I don’t really need to be anchored to anything in order to do that.
PAT: Oh! Well, damn! I wish I just talked plain... It is plain talking; I just don’t understand myself! (Laughs) That cracks me up!
I have another dream. I love this dream so much, Elias. I go into the movies with my husband and my kids. We go to get popcorn and snacks, and they go through one door, and for some reason, I go in a different door. When the door closes behind me, here’s this huge, I mean gigantic, tank with water in it, and there’s a baby whale in there. I jump in to swim with it and I’m playing with this baby whale, having a great time, and here comes this mother whale. She swims up behind me and nudges me onto her back, and swims around and swims around, and I’m on her back. Then she dives under, and I know she’s going to do this so I hold my breath, and we go under. Then she comes up out of the water and I slide all the way down her back, but she puts her tail up so I don’t fall off. She crests up to dive back in the water and I dive off her tail into the water. And it’s so much fun! We do this over and over and over again. (Emotionally) And I can remember — I love the feeling — I can remember what her skin feels like and the firmness of it how smooth it is, and how wonderful it is.
So was that a projection? (Elias nods in agreement) Wow, it’s so wonderful. And it doesn’t have any other meaning except for that, as a projection. Although, oh, wait! It’s significant that she is a mother and has a baby, and that one of my truths that I’m dealing with is around the role of mother, redefining that and widening that definition, and allowing myself freedom to define that any way that I choose to...
PAT: ...and that’s acceptable. It was so beautiful and wonderful. Now, in my redefining that, that role that I hold, that truth that I hold of myself as mother is no longer an absolute for me, correct? I am redefining that; I’m in the process of that. And it is related to what I talked to you about before in December, when I had issues about being mean to Rachel?
PAT: That was the beginning of those experiences I’ve offered myself to address that truth, correct?
PAT: Recently I had — I think it was maybe in June — I had a physical fight with my daughter Ashley, which is along the same lines. That was more of the same, correct?
PAT: It was me doing the same thing. You were talking yesterday about how before you can address to it you have to have experiences, give yourself experiences to address to it. You can’t know unless you’re doing that. That is what that was, correct?
PAT: I made myself sick over that, though. I physically was mean to her too, and then I had lots of guilt about a mother should never strike her child and hit her child like that. I was very emotional about that and started throwing up, throwing up, throwing up, and made myself physically ill where I had acid reflux for almost a week. But I was really paying attention to that.
I feel fine about it now, Elias. It’s like I could see what I was doing, but it was also like what I was talking to you about yesterday, how I also know that I love an intensity of an experience. I like my experiences to be intense, so I create more of an intensity around certain... I like to have it spicy. I like to do that. And that’s okay for me to do it that way. I was worried that damn, there I was with an automatic response again, but while I know that that’s true, that’s acceptable as well.
ELIAS: Yes. It is not a matter of not generating automatic responses, just as it is not a matter of eliminating beliefs. It is a matter of being aware and knowing that you are generating an automatic response and knowing that that is your choice.
PAT: I got that, right, based on those two incidences. I have tried to explain to people that while they have been intense experiences and I did hold some elements of judgment about myself for automatically reacting in that way, it was so beneficial for me to view that it is my addressing to one of those truths I have. And it’s been wonderful. Sometimes I like to do it with that (snaps fingers) force and it’s acceptable to me that I do it that way, that I like that intensity.
ELIAS: Yes, and your response in incorporating the physical illness in relation to what you engaged was also automatic imagery that you presented to yourself, in your association with eliminating.
PAT: You mean the act of vomiting is elimination as well. I know! It’s incredible, isn’t it? I mean it is really layered, if you’re willing to go there and explore that. Let me ask you this. Since I did that, and that was really a valuable experience for me, I can address to many of my truths the same way, right?
PAT: By presenting myself with different experiences whereby I then get to view the layers of that as well.
PAT: Oh, good! I think it’s good. Now, here’s the thing, also. Ashley/Percy, my daughter, just as I was doing that to widen my definition of one of my truths as mother, on her end her participation was for her benefit to address some of her truths as well.
PAT: Was it the same truth about the role of parent or mother?
PAT: But also independence...
PAT: ...and movement towards steering her own ship and not allowing me to do that.
PAT: Wonderful. Now can we talk about one of the things I play with. You know Pat/Fryolla, essence name Fryolla, she and I hold things in real similarity. When we first were on the email list together, people would say to her which Pat are you? She’d say, “This is Pat,” and I’d say, “Well, I’m Pat, too.” She’d say I’m Pat B — because her last name starts with B — and I’d say I’m Pat B, too. She’d say I have a son, Dillon, and I’d say I have a son Dillon, too. So I started calling myself Pattoo, in association with my essence as Ling-Tu, and meaning Pat also.
Then I realized no, I should be spelling it Pat-Tu, as Ling-Tu, which led me to think of how all my life people have said you’re TOO aggressive, you’re TOO loud, you’re TOO fill-in-the-blank, whatever it is. All my life I’ve been telling myself who I am, huh? (Elias laughs) Is that what I’ve been doing? All of my life I’ve been saying that!
ELIAS: It is your imagery that you have presented to yourself.
PAT: I love that! I love that! That’s so cool! I love that tone. So let me ask you this. How do I want to say it? As Ling-Tu, I love that tone of Tu, which leads me to another very purposeful thing.
Lately, I’ve been thinking of myself very much as action, as movement, not solid form but as action and movement. So, in the Elias Family photo album, that website that we have, there aren’t any pictures of me, Pat, except that I created one. I never liked pictures of me because I don’t recognize that image of me as a physical form. It’s so goofy, but I don’t even recognize that person. So I drew this picture, which is a series of turquoise arrows in a spiral as a self-portrait, because that’s how I view myself. The color is very purposeful because that’s my signature color, but also as a spiral action moving in on itself, constant movement, correct?
PAT: Now let’s jump to my association with the fact that viewing myself as action is a Sumari thing, because Sumari is action. But is it just mostly purposeful to me?
PAT: I think about the association when we describe things in action, we say be-ing not be-er. Be-ing, do-ing, view-ing, mov-ing, all of those have “ing” in them as a connotation of action, correct? And it’s Ling-Tu! That is so purposeful, right? As action — Ling as action!
ELIAS: In identity of you.
PAT: Oh, my god! So I got that, right?
PAT: I love that! I am awesome! (Elias chuckles) That’s how I feel, and as I’ve identified that more, I notice that I move a lot more. I am in action a lot more. (Laughs) But I’ve always been that way, you know what I mean? When I look back, I am always... Like sometimes I’ll leap at people when I’m talking to them and they look frightened! (Laughs) Because I’m coming at them with some force or action or whatever. It’s why I love to dance, too, because that’s action and movement. It signifies that. Music has action and movement within it. All of that, every bit of that is related!
PAT: Wow. It’s an immense picture. It’s so big. Me! Just me, Ling-Tu! I told Marj/Grady last night I have realized that I could study me from now until now and still entertain myself from now into infinity!
ELIAS: And that is a significant realization.
PAT: So that’s a significant movement for me, right?
PAT: It feels so tremendous that I swear, some days I’m afraid I’m gonna spontaneously combust! (Elias laughs) Because I feel so huge in force, in power, in action, like it can’t be contained in my physical form anymore!
ELIAS: I am understanding. This is your beginnings of your realization of yourself as essence being infinitely vast.
PAT: Oh man, this is just the beginning of it? (Elias laughs) I’m not going to spontaneously combust, am I? Unless I choose to. Wow, because the force of that, oh my god. I have addressed this with you before, how I’m really aware of my power, that I step into a room and I know when I come in with it and that I can muscle people, my awareness of that. That has only increased, my sense of my power of that. Am I going to frighten people? That’s what I worry about.
ELIAS: No. As you genuinely begin to move more into addressing to your truths, you shall be experiencing the power and the freedom of yourself as essence and as infinitely greater than one attention, but also incorporate the appreciation of the uniqueness of this attention and allow yourself to be expressing that powerfulness, but in a manner in which it shall not be threatening to other individuals.
PAT: Then it’s not necessarily an outward thing as much as it is contained in recognition of me as essence?
ELIAS: It is both.
PAT: Oh yeah, because I’m everything. When I allow myself to move into the gloriousness of let’s say Dean or Carter or Daryl/Ashrah or Myranda, when I let myself move into the gloriousness of that and want to experience that recognition of their unique gloriousness, that also is a reflection to me of my own unique gloriousness. I love that. You know, Elias, I feel that uniqueness of every one of us and that gloriousness, and it has helped me to not compare.
ELIAS: Which is significant.
PAT: I don’t do the comparison thing as much, because what’s to compare? It’s impossible. It is impossible to compare that; it doesn’t even make sense. It’s an impossibility. (Elias chuckles)
It really is wonderful to me, and in fact, I’m having a lot of fun even in the midst of when I had my significant fight with my daughter Ashley and that movement of stuff. I don’t judge that as a bad thing even, and it’s still fun for me. It is still joyous and good. Well, “good” — you know. But you know what I mean. It’s acceptable to me; it is acceptable to me in the way that I do it.
I was doing dishes the other night and I was thinking about how many fights I used to have with my husband and my daughter about you don’t do the dishes that way, you don’t put them in the drain like that, that’s not the correct way to do it, and how I used to get so mad about it. While I was doing the dishes, thinking about that and how now I don’t really care, it was making me kind of giggle about how silly that is, about how it’s my silly Pat-ness. It is the silliness of me, too. Even in judgment, it is gloriously me in my judgments, and that is so incredibly wonderful! (Elias laughs) I get to do that and I get to have those, and they’re great. See, I like it. So, thank you; I love that so much.
I would like to offer a game impression for Sid/Calum, who I love and I’m doing that counterpart thing. I love him! He’s wonderful. (Elias chuckles) I can really appreciate him, too. He’s so great. He would like to offer, in astrological signs, Libra under the essence family Ilda. (Pause)
ELIAS: One point.
PAT: He will be delighted. I would like to offer for myself... (Giggles) This is a tricky one for me, because I can go two ways with it. In movie directors, Robert Rodriguez, Vold.
ELIAS: One point.
PAT: I was also thinking Sumari, but then I thought no.
I have this great picture, someone sent me a picture over the computer of an iceberg. It is a picture that shows the top of the iceberg but as well it shows the whole iceberg, the bottom of it under water, too. They sent it to me a couple of years ago and I’ve always kept it and look at it occasionally. I had Gail/Minnie print it out for me on her color printer, and I mounted it on a piece of cardstock and taped it in my office so I can look to it during the day, all day long. Two things: it is gloriously blue — thank you very much! — but it is also imagery that I use of essence as the all of it, that what you see above the water is focus and that’s what you think is so big and great, but it’s a part of what’s really huge.
PAT: It’s beautiful imagery for me. I see myself trying to give myself more and more imagery about the magnificence of essence, of how big it is, which is my movement presently, right?
PAT: That’s kind of where I’m at right now. So that’s good. I love it; I found it creative.
You know how you and I love to play together, and because I’m playful, one day when I was walking home I found a tiny blue triceratops toy on the street. That was playfulness between you and me?
PAT: Wow! After I talked to you one day, I manifested a green dinosaur, a plesiosaurus, on the bus. That was playfulness between you and me? (Elias nods in agreement) I brought it home that day to give it to my son Dillon as a gift, because he loves dinosaurs. The very day that I brought it to him, in his summer school math program he had done very well for the week and the teacher let him pick two toys. One of the toys that he selected that very day was a little finger-puppet of a dragonfly, which he then traded with me because I love the imagery of dragonflies! You and I created the dinosaur together and I offered it to him, because I created him having the dragonfly for me?
PAT: Now, a third thing! I was walking back from lunch and on the street I found a little teeny-tiny toy angel with a broken wing. (Laughs) I think it’s hysterical! She’s wearing a turquoise dress, of course. That was also playfulness between you and me?
PAT: (Laughs) I’m so goofy, huh? Playfulness is toys to me, right? So I will continue. But I also like to manifest into a physical solid form for myself, don’t I?
PAT: Just like I did with the picture that my friend Susie brought me from her trip to Argentina, which is a painting of the road that my shaman focus walks on and the picture Gail took of me as a dragonfly and gave to me. I like to have something I can touch.
ELIAS: Physical evidence.
PAT: Physical evidence, of it, right? But I’m so efficient at creating that!
PAT: Isn’t that unbelievable? No, it’s not! But you know what, I like that I do that! (Elias laughs) I’m collecting all these cool things! I really like that I do that, like when Gail gave me wings she found. She took them off a dead insect outside and she put them on a little piece of paper. That is playful imagery to me as well in terms of the dragonfly, because that’s what I associate it with, the subjective and objective, the balance.
PAT: That’s why I like it physical like that, because I need the objective proof, evidence of the subjective knowing. I am so cool! (Elias laughs) I like that I do it that way, because it’s really playful for me to do that. Oh, I can’t wait! What else would I like to create? (Elias laughs) Here’s the thing, because if I can do that, then I can create anything. And do. And do!
PAT: My brother Tom, who is Sumari/Vold as well, he creates money like that, doesn’t he, with a complete and total ease! He’s so cool that he does that! (Elias laughs) He really has that, right? He doesn’t have the way some people worry about “I want more money and I want this,” he never concerns himself with that, ever. And so therefore, he very efficiently creates that for himself, always. It’s a given to him.
PAT: I do it to a degree, but... How do I want to say this? I always seem to have money to do whatever I want to do or what I choose to do, but I also create credit card debt in order to do it. But that doesn’t really mean anything to me, either. I mean, I don’t necessarily always consider that real. Like when those bills come and I pay them off, it’s just like a game I play with myself. Right? (Laughs)
PAT: But it’s so goofy, though! (Elias chuckles) I’m not even going to worry about it. I’ll just continue to do it that way. (Elias laughs) Well, anything else you’d like to talk with me about?
ELIAS: (Both laugh) You may continue to direct this ship!
PAT: I know, because I dig doing that! I really like to do that. I feel great about that and also the fact that I will openly discuss this, my relationship with you and my love of you, and how I love the interaction and the participation in this forum. I will just openly discuss that with anybody at all. Some people are afraid to do that. They encounter people who reflect to them something negative, like they shouldn’t be doing that.
PAT: I don’t encounter that.
ELIAS: You do not encounter that for you are not projecting that energy outwardly. You reflect what you are projecting.
PAT: Which is that it’s acceptable.
ELIAS: Yes, and that is the point.
PAT: I talk about it because I enjoy talking about it, just as I would enjoy talking about a particular book that I love or a particular movie that I might love or a piece of music, right? I just discuss that because it’s my preference, and I can talk about my preferences out loud, any time I want to.
PAT: People say to me sometimes, don’t you worry that people will think you’re crazy? But I’m the person who dances at the bus stop or dances down the hall. There’s a lot of things I do to give people opportunities to think I’m crazy, so how is this any different? (Laughs) I still dance down the hall at work if I want to. You know what I mean? Is that keeping my attention on myself and not really caring about anybody else’s opinion?
ELIAS: It is not a matter of not caring; it is a matter of not concerning yourself, and allowing yourself the freedom to be expressing yourself in the manner that you want and acknowledging yourself. It is an expression of acceptance of yourself, and it is genuine. This is what I speak of with other individuals, that they do not quite realize yet.
But there are many of you that are genuinely expressing this acceptance, and it is noticed by other individuals and it is reflected by other individuals and it is acknowledged.
PAT: In fact, there’s a girl who’s new to our department who said to me, “I need to talk to you more. I need to go to lunch with you, because you do this thing that I need. I want to know how to do that.” So I see the reflection of my saying that to myself, of you’re doing great, you’re doing your thing, you are genuinely allowing yourself to do your thing. And it is attractive to other people. It is SO attractive to other people!
ELIAS: Yes, you are quite correct. As I have expressed previously and even within our discussion of yesterday, I acknowledged that there are many individuals and many within this forum that are generating that type of movement and that type of acceptance, in which they are allowing themselves their freedom and not expressing the judgments and generating that reflection.
PAT: (Phone rings) That’s Lynda telling us that time is up and there’s someone else coming. Two quick things: in my desire to redefine myself as mother, the definition of that, I have very much felt Lawrence helping me with that.
PAT: She and I spoke about that before she chose to disengage. So thank you, thank you, thank you so much for that, Lawrence, because that was helpful to me.
Is that the only thing I wanted to ask? Oh, and is there anything you want me to tell Michael? Anything you want to say (kissing sounds) kiss-kiss-kiss-I love you, to her? (Laughs) No? No, you do that other times.
ELIAS: I am acknowledging of Michael continuously!
PAT: I know you are. (Elias chuckles) I guess that’s it for me. I keep thinking I know all this stuff and I don’t really need to have a session with you, but I dig having a session with you because it’s just like visiting with any other friend that I haven’t seen in a while and want to have conversation with, right?
PAT: Awesome! Well, I love you! Thanks. Oh no, the other thing — one of the other people that is doing the same thing that I am doing, in terms of that acceptance, is Myranda, correct?
PAT: That’s why I’m interactive also with both Anji/Myranda and Leslie/Myranda, because as essence they both do it, but they do it in their gloriously Leslie way and gloriously Anji way, and that’s helpful to me as well.
ELIAS: Yes. Michael is expressing quite similarly.
PAT: Yes, I know. I’m good with that, then. Thank you so much. I love you! You’re wonderful! (Elias laughs) As am I! When I call you Me-lias, it is my understanding, my recognition of you as, well, being me.
PAT: I love to say it, I do. I love to call us Me-lias. (Both laugh) Okay, thank you, I love you!
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my dear friend. As always, tremendous affection to you and genuine lovingness.
PAT: (Emotionally) Thank you. Yes, I know, I feel it!
ELIAS: My tremendous fondness to you, Ling-Tu.
PAT: Thank you! And thank you for saying my name twice this weekend, which you know I wanted to hear! (Elias chuckles) Thank you.
ELIAS: Au revoir, my friend.
Elias departs at 7:08 AM.
©2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.