Thursday, September 25, 2003 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Fran (Sandel)

Elias arrives at 7:54 AM. (Arrival time is 19 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

FRAN: Good morning! You know, Mary makes a pretty good warm-up act for you. (Elias laughs with Fran) We almost forgot the time!

I have been going back and forth about how I was going to utilize this session, and I think I’ve decided that it is going to be completely frivolous.

ELIAS: Very well!

FRAN: So, I hope you’re in for frivolous today. (Elias laughs) I have some questions for a couple of friends first.

ELIAS: Very well.

FRAN: The first one is from Dawn and she wants to know if her fourth concurrent focus is Dr. Hakim Awyan — I don’t know how to pronounce it — A-W-Y-A-N, of Egypt? (Pause)

ELIAS: No, this is an observing essence role.

FRAN: As long as we’re talking about her, my son has a girlfriend right now that has a 2-1/2 year old daughter, who’s name is Maiah Dawn, and I connect her with Dawn. Is that one of her focuses? (Pause)

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: She is? Oh, I am so excited! I actually KNOW someone else’s second focus! (Elias laughs) Oh, that’s great! Oh, she’s going to be delighted to hear that! This is such a wonderful little girl! (Laughing) She’s great! Oh, that’s wonderful!

The next question is for Sharon, and Sharon wants to know if the Marquis de Sade is a focus of Camdon.

ELIAS: Observing essence.

FRAN: She got that really strong. It happened when she and Oona and I were all sharing a room in Truckee. I know that Oona has a focus that’s in the same asylum with the Marquis de Sade. Do I have one there as well?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Is it somebody that is at all connected with him, or is it just another person in the asylum?

ELIAS: Another individual in the asylum.

FRAN: That’s very interesting. I asked Hal/Lupice if he had any questions for you and he said, yeah, he wanted to know if the Giants were going to win the pennant. (Elias laughs) I told him that that was a crystal ball question and that you wouldn’t answer it!

ELIAS: (Laughs) You may offer my response, in that if he creates all of his reality, what does HE want? Ha!

FRAN: That’s exactly what he wants! He wants the Giants to win the pennant. (Both laugh)

I have a question about him. He told me one time, and he was telling me this again a couple of days ago, that he has a memory of being a ball player at Shibe Park in Philadelphia, an in-fielder during the late 20s and early 30s. Is this one of his focuses?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I thought as much. I have another question for another friend. This is Janine, and I’d like to know what Janine’s essence name is and what her families are.

ELIAS: Essence name, Jamil, J-A-M-I-L (ha MEAL). And your impression as to essence families?

FRAN: I knew you were going to ask me that. I think she is Sumari/Tumold.

ELIAS: Correct.

FRAN: Oh god, I’m getting good at this! And is she soft?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I thought so. You know, I might figure all of this stuff out yet! (Elias laughs)

Now I have a whole list, I mean a whole shit-load of stuff to ask you about. These are impressions that I’ve gotten over the last couple of years, and they’re just things I want to get out of the way.

ELIAS: Very well.

FRAN: Okay, the first thing is four focuses that I have just assumed are mine — other focuses — and I’ve just taken that as an assumption and I’ve never checked it with you. I have been at odds with myself as to whether I was even going to check it with you, but I’m going to anyway. The first one is John Colter.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Jules Sandeau?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Frank Hurley?

ELIAS: Observing.

FRAN: And Lettice Knollys?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I was three out of four. I have some difficulties between the observing essence and the directing essence, and I understand that is fairly common.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Sometimes I wake up in the mornings with names rolling around in my head, at the end of a dream or it just sort of comes to me. Sometimes I think these might be names of other focuses of mine and I write them down. I’d like to run these past you. The first one is Dr. Albert Snow.

ELIAS: Observing.

FRAN: Is this the same Albert Snow that was with the Discovery Museum in Connecticut?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Another one is, I didn’t get a name, but I just got the impression of a Chinese-American woman who is also a research scientist.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: And that’s a current focus?

ELIAS: Overlapping.

FRAN: Overlapping? What’s the difference between an overlapping and a current one?

ELIAS: An overlapping focus is one that may share a partial time framework of concurrency but is not within the general same age, so to speak.

FRAN: Like for example, an overlapping one for me would be Jule Styne?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: He disengaged during the 80s or something like that, and was born way before me.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: The concurrent ones, are they usually generally about the same age?

ELIAS: Generally speaking, they are approximately similar age, although at times you may incorporate one that may be significantly younger.

FRAN: For example, Maiah that is the other focus of Dawn. Is she a concurrent focus or an overlapping focus?

ELIAS: Concurrent. What generates the distinction is that an essence may incorporate several focuses in the same time framework, most of which shall be approximately within an age span of ten to twenty years; but generally speaking, they do not generate one that is of significant older age.

FRAN: Wait a minute, I don’t think I got that one. Could you repeat that?

ELIAS: As an example, an essence may be generating five concurrent focuses. Most of those five may be we shall say between the physical ages of twenty and forty; one may be quite young. One may be four. But generally speaking — remember this is not a rule — but generally speaking, essences do not generate ONE focus that is eighty and the other focuses incorporating the ages of twenty to forty, for the disengagement of the one that is older is not considered, so to speak. That is not considered to be concurrent with the bulk, so to speak, of the years that are incorporated by all of the focuses in a particular time framework and the experiences are associated more with a different time period. Are you understanding?

FRAN: Actually, yes, I am understanding. I do understand that. Some of us were speculating on our impression that perhaps in the recent disengagement of Johnny Cash and John Ritter that they may be of the same essence.

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: There were a lot of disengagements around the same time.

ELIAS: There have been many in this time framework, from the onset of your new millennium.

FRAN: Right, I notice. I see it come kind of in waves when I look at the obituaries in the local newspaper.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I have some other names here that have just come to me at the end of my sleep, and another one is Colleen Preston. Is that one of my focuses?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: And is that a current one?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: I have no idea where to attach that name, but I suppose I’ll eventually figure it out! (Both laugh) Rita Gould?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Is that the Rita Gould that was kind of an actress during the 30s and 40s?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Howard Pottell?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: And is this a current focus?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Like I said, the names just sort of float in and I don’t know what to do with them, other than that they’re very familiar to me. Then I had a couple of other... Oh my god, I’ve got so many questions here! (Elias laughs) Here’s one of my curiosities. Is Plato a focus of Elias?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: I couldn’t figure out why when I was looking up Homer, I was typing in Plato. (Elias chuckles) Can you help me out there?

ELIAS: And what is your impression?

FRAN: Well, I don’t know what my impression is! That maybe Elias is an observing essence of Plato?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Then I don’t have any impressions.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) It is a similarity of energies.

FRAN: In speaking of similarity of energies, one of the names that keeps popping up, and has been popping up for a large portion of my focus, is Prince Charles. I know I have focuses that are connected with the royal family or in the vicinity of the royal family or whatever. Is my connection with Prince Charles just one of similar tone?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I kind of assumed as much, because there’s a lot of similar interests.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: The name Elandra — I dreamed one night of meeting this really incredible woman. I thought that in the dream that her name was Elandra, and I felt that this was one of my focuses. Is this correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Is that one of my focuses in this dimension, or is she perhaps Atlantian?

ELIAS: In this dimension.

FRAN: Is she a future focus?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: And that’s not my Dream Walker name?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: I haven’t come up with that one yet, but eventually I will. That’s kind of a landmark for me, because I generally tend to have really strong beliefs around timeframes. This is the first time I’ve contacted objectively one of my future focuses. Is she at the Alterversity?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I seemed to be asking her about her 14-month-old daughter. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Another name that comes up a lot, I have a lot of imagery around the name Frances. How many focuses do I have with that name?

ELIAS: And your impression?

FRAN: Oh, I don’t know, 68! (Elias chuckles) I’m guessing.

ELIAS: (Laughs) I shall express to you to investigate with your impressions, but you are close!

FRAN: Almost 68. (Both laugh) So it’s significant?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: It’s a significant tone to me, for whatever reason. Along those lines, is one of my focuses St. Francis of Assisi?

ELIAS: Observing essence.

FRAN: And what about F. Scott Fitzgerald?

ELIAS: Also observing essence.

FRAN: That doesn’t surprise me at all. And what about the woman that worked for him, Frances Kroll Ring?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Francis Scott Key?

ELIAS: Counterpart.

FRAN: I also wanted to ask you about Edgar Allan Poe.

ELIAS: Observing essence.

FRAN: I seem to pick up these observing essences pretty easily. It seems to me that just about anybody that I’m interested in, I’m observing.

ELIAS: Many times, yes.

FRAN: (Laughs) You know, it seems like just the very act of being interested in them and doing research on them almost automatically makes one an observing essence. (Elias chuckles)

Oh, Bosht has the impression that one of my focuses is Sandro Botticelli. (Pause)

ELIAS: Counterpart.

FRAN: While we’re on Renaissance painters, I have really struggled with trying to come up with impressions for my Paduan artist focus. I guess, first of all, I would like to ask you if this is an individual who is famous, that I would know? (Pause)

ELIAS: That you would know or that you have accessed?

FRAN: I have accessed. In our first session I talked to you about a dream I had in which I encountered him. I knew that I was in Padua and I knew it was somewhere around the 16th century. In the conversation I had with him, he said, “Don’t you recognize me? I am you.” You confirmed that, yes, that was a focus of mine, that it was an artist, and then you laughed and said that he was sort of working toward greatness in his own terms. I’m wondering if this is a famous focus.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Is it Andrea Mantegna?

ELIAS: Correct!

FRAN: (Laughs) I am really impressed! (Elias laughs) That’s pretty impressive! That’s a pretty interesting focus. I guess the thing that was the giveaway was when you laughed and what you said, because I know from my research that this individual thought a great deal of himself and was considered quite a child prodigy, and that he broke with his teacher and started his own studio and then married into a very famous artistic family. That’s very interesting. That was the first name I came up with, and then since I don’t trust my own impressions, I waffled around about it for years! That’s great!

Here’s another thing I’ve never asked you, and that is I have just assumed, or maybe it’s just that I just want my focus color in this focus to be Cherokee red. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Is there any connection there with Frank Lloyd Wright?

ELIAS: Counterpart.

FRAN: Here’s a story that I’ve told a couple of people that I wanted to run past you. About a year ago, I was in one of the local bookstores. I belonged at that time to a biography discussion group and I had run into a couple of people that were in the discussion group, although this wasn’t the night of the discussion group. We were engaged in and excited about a conversation that we were having, and a gentleman came up to us and started talking to us. (Elias chuckles and grins) I thought he was quite unusual, and he said to me — and he seemed to be directing his conversation toward me — and he commented on my earrings. He told us that he came into this bookstore all of the time, he was always there, and he had never known that there was a discussion group. He also was holding a book that he was so excited about, and he was pointing to it to me and he said, “Look at this! I found this book! I’m so excited! I have been looking all over for a book about wizards!” It had a big dragon on it that looked like Mary’s dragon from her business card. Afterwards I had the feeling that this was not real. I mean, I know everything is real, but I had the impression that maybe I made this person up (Elias grins again), or that it was somebody, some essence playing with me. (Elias laughs) I even thought that it might even be Michael.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) It was not Michael, but the imagery was significant to offer you a clue!

FRAN: Was it you? (Elias laughs loudly) It was you!

ELIAS: Yes!

FRAN: You know, I have thought that! I really appreciate that you showed up. I thought that was just great. I’ve looked for you ever since, and I had never seen that person there before and I haven’t seen him since. (Both laugh) And the fact that you were dressed all in black and had blue eyes... I loved it! Thank you!

ELIAS: You are quite welcome!

FRAN: You did like my earrings, huh? (Elias laughs) Oh, that’s wonderful! Thank you! What a wonderful gift!

Another one that’s like that is — and I have carried this story with me for probably almost thirty years — and that is waking up, or not necessarily completely waking up, but sort of suddenly becoming conscious or objective during the night and seeing an old man standing or sitting or something by my bed.

This happened way back in the very beginning of when I was first reading Seth. My response to him was really surprising to me. I would imagine that the first thing that I would do would be to be really frightened by sensing that somebody was standing next to my bed, but I wasn’t. I was really, really angry. I said to him, not verbally, but I sent over to him, “I told you that I could do this myself!” and it was kind of like, “What are you doing here?” I was accusing him of not spying on me but just keeping an eye on me.

His response was just totally without any emotion. It was just, “I can be here. I’m not interrupting you. I’m not doing anything.” He also had, I think, a greyhound dog with him. At the time I thought maybe it might be Seth. Is that who it was?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Was this one of my focuses?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Who was this? (Elias chuckles) Was this you?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Okay, I give up!

ELIAS: Tomkin.

FRAN: Oh, my goodness! I have absolutely no objective sense of any of the other essences interacting with me, and I know that that has to do with the fact that I’m not really open to it yet. I’m starting to feel like twinges in my body and stuff like that, which I think might perhaps be interacting with other essences...

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: ...but it’s just barely starting, so I’ll check back with you on that later. I know that I get heart palpitations and that that’s connected with Ayla.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Who touched my thumb on the plane coming home from Vermont and Boston. (Pause)

ELIAS: That would be an expression of my dear one!

FRAN: Oh! Patel? Paul?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I thought about him! I figured he was also the little orange ladybug that came to visit me.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) No, that was your creation.

FRAN: Oh, well, it was a cute one. How many focuses do I share with my current partner, Lupice?

ELIAS: And your impression?

FRAN: That one I came up with as 68. Sixty-eight’s the number today.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Sixty-five.

FRAN: That’s not bad! And how about Jovan, my current son?

ELIAS: Forty-four.

FRAN: Is one of his focuses Maggie Brown, the second wife of Jule Styne?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I thought so. I showed him a picture of her, and I noticed that they were married on his birthday, Chris’s birthday. I showed him a picture of her and I said, “Do you think this is one of your focuses?” and he just said, “Well, it might be, because I just got all the hair raised up on my arms.” (Both laugh)

Oh my goodness, I still have two pages of this stuff! St. Francis of Assisi, when I was reading about him there was a character there by the name of Brother Elias. Is that you?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Another painter that I’m drawn to is Vermeer.

ELIAS: You incorporate a focus in that time framework that prefers that artist also.

FRAN: I’m not one of the other Delft painters?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: How about Artemisia Gentileschi? (Pause)

ELIAS: A family member.

FRAN: Is it her father?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Well, that would explain why I’m drawn to her. Another artist that I’m very much drawn to is Paul Gauguin.

ELIAS: Also a family member.

FRAN: I’ll have to work on those. Do I have a focus as a female orca?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I encountered her one evening in one of my dreams. There’s seven of us out there, counting myself. Is she one of the seven concurrent focuses, or is that another example of an overlapping?

ELIAS: Overlapping.

FRAN: How many whale or porpoise focuses do I have? (Pause)

ELIAS: Six.

FRAN: That’s wonderful! Oh, I love that! That’s great!

This one is totally different — Henry P’u Yi, the last emperor of China. I feel very connected to that court.

ELIAS: You incorporate a focus but not of that individual.

FRAN: A focus in that court?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I’ll investigate that further. I was wondering if I was an observing essence of Leni Riefenstahl.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Some years ago I had a dream about awaiting execution. It was incredibly real. I am sure that I have a focus that was executed, probably during the 16th or 17th century, executed by whoever was in power, like the king or the queen or whatever.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Is it Lady Jane Grey?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Am I an observing essence of her?

ELIAS: Counterpart.

FRAN: So my execution dream was very real then?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: And am I correct, is it in England during the 16th century?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: And it was a woman?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Is this someone I would know historically?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: I have a whole list of other names of people that I am drawn to and I would like to run these past you. I’m very interested in the period of time around Emerson and Thoreau, and I suspect that I have a focus that was a friend of theirs.

ELIAS: Acquaintance.

FRAN: Another writer? (Pause)

ELIAS: An individual that aspires to be that.

FRAN: Now you’re laughing again! “Aspires to be a writer.” Is this someone that was living in Concord at the same time?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: It’s not Franklin Sanborn?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: Do I have a focus as a 14th century French illuminator?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I thought so. And how many gypsy focuses do I have?

ELIAS: Twelve.

FRAN: That is not a surprise at all! Speaking of that, when I first asked you this, you told me I had 1214 focuses. I think there’s more than that now. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: What is the number now? (Pause)

ELIAS: One thousand three hundred six.

FRAN: So I’ve acquired quite a few more. I’m never going to catch up with this, you know!

ELIAS: You have incorporated more future focuses.

FRAN: How many future focuses do I have?

ELIAS: Shall you investigate?

FRAN: Okay, I will do that. (Both laugh) You have a way of shaming me in a very accepting way!

ELIAS: This is not shaming; it is encouraging! (Laughs)

FRAN: I know, I know. The shaming part is my own perception. (Both laugh)

Recently I was reading a book about Edna St. Vincent Millay, and at the same time I was reading it, I think it was Paula that was reading it as well. All of a sudden there was a lot of imagery around her and around that book. One of the things that really struck me was that when I first opened it, I was on my way to our Donner party in Truckee, California. I had bought the book on the way and I opened up the front cover and the first thing that was there was a quotation by Willa Cather, and the first word in the whole book was “Camdon.” I immediately, since I was on my way and I was going to be rooming with Camdon and Oona, I assumed that the three of us are prominent in Edna St. Vincent Millay’s drama, if you will.

ELIAS: No, but you do express similar experiences together in another focus.

FRAN: That like are maybe similar to the three sisters?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: And it’s not at all connected to Vincent Millay?

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: It’s just a similarity of tone?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I guess we will have to investigate that. As I was reading about Edna St. Vincent Millay, I kept picking up the sense of Nanaiis. Is that who she is?

ELIAS: Observing.

FRAN: On writers, I’ve had this impression of D. H. Lawrence being a focus of Lawrence.

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: We’re all still trying to find D. H. Lawrence, because so many of us seem to be connected to him. I know I’m an observing essence of Mabel Dodge Luhan, but I feel a stronger connection to her and to the group, and that feels stronger than just being an observing essence to her. Do I have a focus that is connected to that group of people that she gathered around her?

ELIAS: Clarify.

FRAN: I’m thinking of all of the people that Mabel Dodge Luhan invited to Taos, all of the artists, the writers, the philosophers. I feel a really strong connection to that particular group of people. It included people like D. H. Lawrence, Georgia O’Keefe, Ansel Adams, Carl Jung, numerous people, a lot of the people that were considered during that period of time during the 20s and 30s to be the sort of avant-garde of the arts. (Pause)

ELIAS: You do incorporate a focus in that time framework which generates a strong admiration for many of these individuals but is not actually an acquaintance with them.

FRAN: That’s why there is such an overlap of interest in all of those same people, then.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: In addition to being interested in them now, and appreciating the writings of D. H. Lawrence, this individual in the same time framework felt the same way...

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: ...so it would be particularly strong.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: That makes sense. You know what, we’ve really made some headway here today! (Both laugh) Veronica Franco, am I an observing essence of hers?

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: Gene Tierney, the actress?

ELIAS: Counterpart.

FRAN: She’s the very first actress I ever remember, the very first movie I ever remember seeing, and she’s always been fascinating to me. Rosalind Russell? (Pause)

ELIAS: No.

FRAN: George Sanders?

ELIAS: This is a preference.

FRAN: Gosh, we have about 15 minutes. I wasn’t going to go into the heavy stuff, but I think I will as a special gift to myself. I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been giving myself a really rough time lately... Excuse me, I’m getting a little bit emotional about this.

I know that being Sumari, I’m probably being particularly affected by the wave of truth, and I’m having a lot of difficulties... Probably where it’s manifesting itself the most is with the difficulties with my work, and that is that primarily I have no passion in my work anymore. I don’t want to go to my work and I feel like I’m so trapped because I don’t know how to get out of it.

Do you have any comments, or can we clarify this a little bit? I know that there’s a lot of issues of personal worth.

ELIAS: Yes. But what is your assessment of why you feel trapped?

FRAN: I know that the money part of it is just symbolic, but I have allowed that to entrap me, like not knowing how I would survive financially if I didn’t go to work. Yet I’ve just spent a year and a half of not really being paid for my work, and that’s been a pretty hard thing to go through, but I also recognize that the lesson there is that time is not money.

ELIAS: Correct.

FRAN: My business partner and I laugh about this, I mean it’s like, “Well, we know that we must work for love, because we sure don’t work for money!” At this point, the business owes both of us so much that I feel an obligation to stick through to bring the resources back up again so that I can exit comfortably.

ELIAS: But in this, you are also forcing your energy, which does not allow for you to generate easily.

FRAN: I’m really, really getting stuck on all of my beliefs about responsibility.

ELIAS: Also, in this, you are restricting yourself and restricting your own freedom, not trusting your abilities and not trusting yourself to adequately generate what you want. But you are also not allowing yourself a clarity concerning what you want, for you are concentrating upon what you are NOT creating.

FRAN: I understand that and I don’t know how to get out of it.

ELIAS: I may express to you, first of all, distract yourself. Allow yourself to listen to yourself and incorporate action in association with your own communications. Although you express a fear of your ability to generate what you want, attempt to offer yourself the freedom to generate steps to move in a different direction. If you are not generating a comfort in what you are doing and you are continuing to perpetuate this struggle, stop. Distract yourself.

Distraction, as I have stated many times previously, is a powerful tool, for it interrupts patterns. In the interruption of the familiar patterns, what you generate is an introduction of flexibility. This creates an avenue in which you may change your perception and therefore allow for your creativity, and you may view the situation quite differently. For in that interruption, you generate a different type of energy, and in that different type of energy, you offer yourself different information.

What generates this experience or this feeling of being stuck is that you continue to repeat the pattern and you perpetuate the struggle, which develops into conflict. But if you distract yourself and you interrupt that pattern, you allow yourself to view the situation in a different manner.

FRAN: Can you give me an example of a distraction?

ELIAS: Offer me an example of a general description of your day.

FRAN: Generally I get up, I go off to my work, and I can hardly wait until I come home again.

ELIAS: And what do you do?

FRAN: I haven’t been doing very much lately, but at my work I am a designer and I spend a lot of time interacting with clients and answering questions, interacting with my office mates. There’s a lot of interaction during the day, and I do a lot of complaining!

ELIAS: Very well. A distraction of the routine of your day — rather than discussing designs with other individuals in that atmosphere and generating the familiar actions and interactions that you engage, a distraction would be to shop. Alter the environment; alter the action. Rather than discussing designs, view them elsewhere. Allow yourself the flexibility and the freedom to incorporate the action and not discount yourself or judge yourself, but recognize that it is an exercise in interrupting the familiar pattern.

FRAN: So as soon as I feel myself begin to get stressed, I should just break it...

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: ...and go do something else.

ELIAS: Yes.

FRAN: I’ve gotcha. I understand what you’re saying. Even if it’s just go take a walk.

ELIAS: Yes!

FRAN: I have practiced that a little bit lately, like last week on Thursday morning I just got up and said, “I’m not going to work today.” I just stayed home and I did what I wanted to do. I’ve had this desire to do that more and more lately, so I realize that I need to be taking care of myself.

ELIAS: Yes, and paying attention rather than perpetuating what you have been creating in association with your belief of obligation.

FRAN: I know that it’s quite possible that what I might end up doing is changing my perception about my work and actually getting excited about it again, going at it from a different point of view or whatever. I recognize that as a possibility, but right now my sense is that I’ve been doing this for twenty years, I’m bored and I want to do something else.

ELIAS: Allow yourself that permission.

FRAN: I am intending to. (Both laugh) If I can get past all of this shit about obligations! A little scatological humor there.

I am going to let Mary go now. This has been a very informative conversation and I think I have about as much information as I can swallow for the moment...

ELIAS: Very well! (Laughs)

FRAN: ...and thank you very much for all of your kind words.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting.

FRAN: I will see you face-to-face in Fresno.

ELIAS: Very well!

FRAN: So, we’ll see you then!

ELIAS: And I shall be offering my energy to you in supportiveness in the interim.

FRAN: Thank you.

ELIAS: Remember — be playful!

FRAN: I know. Oh, and that reminds me — thank you for all of the blinking lights! (Elias chuckles) I take that as a remembrance of playfulness and “lighten up.”

ELIAS: Yes!

FRAN: Thank you! I got the message loud and clear!

ELIAS: Very well! Ha ha ha! To you, my dear friend, as always, I offer my great affection to you and express in fondness, au revoir.

FRAN: Thank you, and au revoir.

Elias departs at 8:53 AM.

(1) Fran’s note: Willa Cather is one of Debi/Oona’s focuses.

©2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.