I Don’t Know What to Trust
Topics:
“I Don’t Know What to Trust”
“There Is No Fault or Wrong in Easy”
Thursday, June 26, 2003 (Private/In-Person)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Natasha (Nichole)
Elias arrives at 11:04 AM. (Arrival time is 24 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
NATASHA: Good morning, Elias.
ELIAS: And how shall we proceed?
NATASHA: First, I guess I want to get out of the way a few questions from my husband, if that’s okay with you. Then I want to ask just the regular stuff for my friend Inna.
ELIAS: Very well.
NATASHA: He put them in a form so I don’t have to even interpret them.
His essence name is Zynn. What is the origin of that name? Is there a translation of the name itself?
ELIAS: He may be investigating. And you may express to him that, yes, there is a translation within your languages. Suggest that he investigate.
NATASHA: Okay. (Elias laughs) Actually, I was thinking it was a different story. I was thinking that it’s just his vibration, so it doesn’t necessarily have to be a translation.
ELIAS: This is correct, although most essence names as they are translated within your languages have been attached certain meanings within your associations, and this information is available to all of you.
NATASHA: Now, his color, is it purple? That’s his impression, that his color is purple.
ELIAS: A variation — wine.
NATASHA: Wine! Wow! That’s why he likes wine so much, huh? (Elias laughs) Is he a final focus? He has a feeling that he might be a final focus.
ELIAS: No, but I may express to him that the designated final focus is within this time framework, is another focus of his essence within this time framework.
NATASHA: Simultaneous focus? In this time framework as we speak, as we live, or...?
ELIAS: Yes. This is the reason that...
NATASHA: He feels this way.
ELIAS: Correct.
NATASHA: Wow. I didn’t want him to go that fast, because I have an impression that I’m not a final focus. Am I correct?
ELIAS: Correct.
NATASHA: Because I have a lot to do.
ELIAS: Now; recognize that this does not negate choice, for any focus incorporates the choice to be fragmenting at the moment in which the final focus disengages. Therefore, any other focus is not subject to that disengagement.
NATASHA: Does he have focuses in India?
ELIAS: Yes.
NATASHA: Wow, I’m impressed with him. (Elias laughs) Does he have focuses as a musician or a piano player? What is the significance that he has so many musician friends, even though he’s not a musician in this focus?
ELIAS: This is an influence of preference. Yes, he does incorporate several focuses as musicians and may be investigating, for one of those focuses is a famous focus.
NATASHA: A famous focus!
ELIAS: Yes.
NATASHA: Can you tell what instrument?
ELIAS: Piano.
NATASHA: And the last two questions, an exercise for him and a focus to investigate, but a I guess the last one you already answered, focus to investigate. Now he has one, right?
ELIAS: Yes.
NATASHA: An exercise for him? That’s what he’s asking.
ELIAS: In what capacity? For what purpose?
NATASHA: I don’t know. He didn’t write it down. (Elias laughs) Well, I guess to be able to connect better, to connect more.
ELIAS: Express to him my suggestion that he allow himself to be paying attention to not merely impressions, but also communications of intuition. This may be offering another avenue to be offering himself information — and not to be discounting of the avenue of communication of imagination, for this also is quite significant.
NATASHA: Thank you very much.
For my friend, Inna, she was the one who introduced me to this forum. She found it, I think, on the Internet. She was very excited when she found I was going to have a session. I was chickening out before, but now she pushed me and she’s still chickening out of a session. (Elias laughs) But she was the one who showed me.
ELIAS: You may express to her that I do not bite! (Laughs)
NATASHA: May I please have her essence name, families and stuff?
ELIAS: Essence name, Beatrix (BEE uh triks).
NATASHA: B-E-A-T-R-I...?
ELIAS: X.
NATASHA: Beautiful name!
ELIAS: And the impressions of essence families?
NATASHA: She didn’t convey any to me.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And do you incorporate an impression?
NATASHA: Me? Wow, I didn’t think of it. I don’t know.
ELIAS: Essence family, Sumafi; alignment, Ilda.
NATASHA: So we are the same! Wow! Do we have any focuses together?
ELIAS: Yes, many.
NATASHA: She is a very good friend of mine.
ELIAS: Orientation, common.
NATASHA: Oh, yes? She had an impression that she is soft. Does she have any focuses in Italy? She has a very strong connection to Italy.
ELIAS: Yes, several.
NATASHA: Have I?
ELIAS: Yes.
NATASHA: So, that concludes for that. Now I can ask for myself.
ELIAS: Very well. (Smiles)
NATASHA: You know what I was wondering last Saturday, were you around when I was about to have a session and we didn’t have one?
ELIAS: Yes.
NATASHA: Because I have such a huge excitement. The thing is with me that I never know what to trust. That, I think, is a main problem. I don’t know if it’s my logical thinking, you know, cause and effect, or if it’s my intuition. I’m often lost and I don’t know what to trust, and I think that’s my main problem.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, thought is a function. It is a translating function.
Now; you may trust your thinking, but recognize also that many times thinking is incomplete. It is not always completely accurate or precise. More often it expresses general translations. Therefore, it is more accurate to be paying attention to your actual avenues of communication. Intuition is one of those avenues.
For your communication avenues offer you precise and accurate information, and if you are paying attention to what you are expressing to yourself, you shall offer yourself a more accurate translation in thought. The manner in which you recognize whether your thought process is accurate and complete is if it is in harmony with your communications and with what you are actually doing.
NATASHA: That’s where I get lost.
ELIAS: Those two expressions shall define whether your thinking is translating accurately. It only translates accurately if you are offering it accurate information. The manner in which you offer it the information is to move your attention — which is not thought — to move your attention to what you are doing and what you are communicating to yourself.
NATASHA: I see that. But the problem is a lot of times during the day I find myself doing something and not really wanting to do this. That’s actually all my life. It seems that I’m so stupid. I understand this, but yet I’m not doing anything to fix it, it seems to me. I just have an intent, or I think I have an intent, and I’m not doing anything. I see the contradiction between what I think and what I really want to do. That’s what’s happening.
ELIAS: This is quite common. The reason this type of behavior occurs is that you, in like manner to many, many, many other individuals, are very unaccustomed to paying attention to yourself and offering yourself permission to generate the choices that you want. For in association with your beliefs, you express expectations of yourself, and in those expectations you express absolutes, that you HAVE to be doing certain actions and that you incorporate no choice — which is incorrect, but this is what is quite familiar to you.
NATASHA: I understand this, but also I find there are some things that I’m not required to do by anybody, yet I’m still doing them because I’m just accustomed to doing that or whatever. I’m still doing them and I hate myself for it, but I’m still doing it. How could this be possible? Why don’t I do anything about it? Why am I not moving?
ELIAS: For it is unfamiliar, and this is quite powerful. Without experience, information remains intellectual concept until the point in which you actually allow yourself an experience. Once you generate an experience, the intellectual concept moves from concept into reality. Without the experience, you may think that you understand a particular concept, but the implementation of that concept is foreign to you for you have not offered yourself an experience to objectively know what that reality is.
Now; in this, you may practice a small exercise, which you may generate within any moment within your day. As you begin to notice that you are generating an automatic response — which in itself at times may be quite tricky, for automatic responses are precisely that, automatic — but as you notice that you are beginning to generate an automatic response and you recognize that this is not what you want to do, allow yourself to stop momentarily and within yourself offer yourself one point, for you have noticed rather than discounting yourself. Interrupt that pattern and offer yourself one point, and allow yourself to incorporate the physical action of chuckling, laughter, intentionally, for this also is an action that shall interrupt the automatic pattern.
Now; once you have offered yourself a point and you have engaged the action of laughter, inquire within yourself, what do you actually want to do in that moment? And regardless of what your response to yourself is, allow yourself to choose it.
NATASHA: If I don’t know what I want to do in this moment, if I don’t really know...?
ELIAS: It matters not. For in the moment, it need not be any extravagant action or any on-going action. Merely inquire within yourself, in this moment what do I want to do? You may offer yourself a response immediately as simple as I wish to merely sit. Acknowledge that response and allow yourself to implement it.
Now; this may appear quite simplistic initially, especially in association with thought, but in actuality it is significant, for you are incorporating an action which deviates from your known, accepted and familiar responses and patterns.
Even small interruptions such as what I have suggested are quite significant, for what occurs is these small actions allow you to actually move your attention to the now. Many of your automatic responses are not associated with the now. They are associated with past or future. In moving your attention to now, you generate much different actions and different choices.
In this, I am aware that you and many other individuals may intellectually express to yourself this concept of being present in the now, but it is actually a concept still, for the action of that is not implemented very often. This is a method that shall allow you an avenue to move into the now, which may be quite helpful.
NATASHA: Okay. I will try! I will try.
ELIAS: Very well. It also interrupts the pattern of the familiarity of discounting yourself.
NATASHA: I probably do that a lot.
ELIAS: Even within this conversation, you have already discounted yourself several times. (Laughs)
NATASHA: I tried to do something like you just said, not laugh, but I try to not notice. I try, but also I saw myself still doing the same thing. That’s what happened.
ELIAS: I shall offer you two other exercises that you may implement in merely one day, that is all. Merely to allow yourself to notice.
Now; this shall also offer you a much clearer view of yourself and of your choices. In one day from, in your terms, beginning to end, allow yourself to pay attention to all of your actions, regardless of how mundane or insignificant they may appear. Every action that you incorporate within one day, pay attention to, even if it is as mundane as closing a door. Regardless of what you are doing, every action that you incorporate, pay attention to it.
NATASHA: So, it will put me into a (inaudible), teach me how to pay attention.
ELIAS: It shall also indicate to you when your automatic responses are occurring and what triggers them.
Now; the other exercise in that day that I suggest that you incorporate is to note every time that you discount yourself, to physically note. This is significant also, for if you allow yourself to pay attention and to physically note, to incorporate an action of writing each time that you discount yourself, you become much more aware.
Now; that also interrupts the pattern, for once you are aware, you may begin to evaluate and express to yourself “why shall I be discounting of myself in this situation?”
NATASHA: But also I can offer myself a lack of explanation why I might do that.
ELIAS: Ah.
Now; in that, if you justify your discounting of yourself, note that also, for that also is a discounting of yourself.
NATASHA: Okay.
I have this situation with my health. I have this weak thyroid. Now I’m thinking about it, and again I don’t know what to think. Once again, I’m confused between what I feel and what I think. I found on the Internet one surgeon who does it and he claims with no blood loss or whatever, less strainful on a woman. It seems okay to me, even though I’m generating surgery.
I’ve had this for a number of years and it grows. I would like to inquire what is the origin of this, even though I have my impressions about this. I really don’t know what to choose at this moment. I may think that I’m improving myself when I’m really not improving myself, and I may trick myself. I don’t want to let it go for a number of years again.
So, I’m kind of in a situation where I cannot choose. I mean, even if you tell me that it is still my choice, but it’s hard for me right now to distinguish what in this situation with my way of thinking, my way of functioning, what it is that I should really pay attention to and do.
ELIAS: First, offer to myself your impressions, and we shall evaluate this together.
NATASHA: Well, to tell you the truth, first when I went to a doctor in Philadelphia, I had this experience where they told me that it’s like my fears run my life and they manifest in this way. I kind of agree with this, because I get really scared, you know? Even though I may appear very brave, I get scared a lot, I’m afraid for that or that, and I’m worrying about things. It’s probably my way of the presentation of what it is. Also, in my teenage years, I did a lot of exploration and stuff, and I think that really matters, too. I think all that combined.
ELIAS: Very well.
Now; offer your impression concerning action and choices in affectingness of it.
NATASHA: So far I’ve been discounting it. I’ve been functioning like it is not really there, even though it does cause some physical uncomfortableness. I’m still not thinking of myself in terms as a sick person, and I try not to think about it. But physical reality, my system of beliefs and the physical world tells me something different.
So, I’m existing in this, trying to read all this great stuff, reading Seth, reading you, reading the sessions. I understand if I do not fully accept what I’m reading, I’m not really going to be able to alter anything. If I cannot even lose weight for so many years, how am I going to alter this one? That’s what logical sense tells me.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
NATASHA: On the other hand, I have this kind of like a quick pass, you know, a very easy way out, it seems to me, if everything’s okay and I do a surgery. But it’s really not working on myself. It’s just letting somebody else take care of it.
ELIAS: Now we will move into the identification of your beliefs and the identification of a strong discounting of yourself, for what you are expressing is that if you are choosing to move in conjunction with your beliefs, this is bad and you appear to be not as enlightened as other individuals, which is a comparison, which is another discounting of yourself.
Now; let us examine this in association with beliefs. First of all, beliefs are, and they are not bad. Every individual expresses certain beliefs in conjunction with each belief system.
Now; you all incorporate all of the belief systems and all of the beliefs, which are numberless, incorporated within each belief system, but you express a few within each belief system. Each individual expresses a few beliefs within each belief system.
Now; the expressed beliefs are evidenced in what you do and what you create. (Firmly) Expressed beliefs are not bad, either. The acceptance of beliefs does not eliminate them.
Now; I am understanding that as you listen to myself express that to you, within your thoughts you are expressing to yourself that you understand and that you believe that. But beliefs in actuality are independent of what you believe or what you do not believe. An expressed belief may be expressed even if you disagree with it intellectually.
You have offered one already. You incorporate an expressed belief that physicians are authorities and that they incorporate the power to be fixing some physical problem. But you disagree with that belief intellectually, for you do not believe in surgery.
NATASHA: It’s not that I don’t believe. It’s like letting myself go the shortcut, and that’s what it is.
ELIAS: Correct.
NATASHA: I believe that it can help your physical body.
ELIAS: Correct, but you also believe that this is the weaker expression — it is better if you are generating this tremendous power and force within yourself and are eliminating and disintegrating the physical affectingness.
NATASHA: That would be ideal.
ELIAS: Would it?
NATASHA: If I could do it? That means that I would be controlling things, that I can do whatever I want if I can do that.
ELIAS: Ah, but you can and you do, and it matters not what your method is. Whether your method is to visualize the physical manifestation and obliterate it through thought, so to speak...
NATASHA: I tried that. I tried that a few times.
ELIAS: Correct, but thought does not create reality; therefore, that shall not occur.
In this, it matters not if you choose to be moving in conjunction with your beliefs. In actuality, this generates less conflict, less forcing of energy, much more of an expression of ease, and remember, you are creating the physicians. Therefore, whatever action the physicians are incorporating in association with your body consciousness, YOU are creating that. Therefore, you are, in your terms, healing yourself. It matters not what method you choose.
What is significant are the beliefs themselves and how you respond to them, and whether you allow yourself to recognize the beliefs that you incorporate and allow yourself to move with ease with them, or whether you shall struggle against the beliefs that you express and generate conflict within yourself.
NATASHA: That’s what happens right now.
ELIAS: Correct. In this action of discounting yourself, you prevent yourself from your own free expression and you generate physical affectingnesses of yourself, for you are continuously forcing energy against the beliefs that you express.
Now; let me also express to you that in recognizing your expressed beliefs, in some situations those expressed beliefs may actually be preferences. In other situations, they may be limiting. But what is significant is that you recognize that each belief you express incorporates both aspects. They are not as singular as you think them to be. Every belief that you incorporate that is an expressed belief incorporates many, many, many influences in many different forms. In this, in some forms you may deem it to be positive. In others, you may deem it to be negative. But regardless of positive or negative, it does incorporate some value to you.
Presently, as I have been discussing with other individuals, you are all participating in a new wave in consciousness, addressing to the belief system of truth. This is significant, for each of you are incorporating your own individual movement in addressing to this belief system of truth.
Now; in conjunction with you individually, you are presenting to yourself this crossroads, so to speak, which is generating some confusion.
Now; this is significant in this time framework, for this is addressing to your truth. Truth, within your physical reality, is an individual expression and it is associated with your most strongly expressed beliefs. Those most strongly expressed beliefs are unquestioned and you incorporate little thought in association with them; therefore, you do not pay attention to them. They merely are.
“Your physical form is presented in the appearance that it is merely for it is. (Pause) You incorporate certain actions that have influenced the creation of your physical form in the presentment of its appearance as it is now, cause and effect, and therefore it is what it is, and the only manner in which that may change is if you incorporate other actions to alter the physical appearance of your physical body consciousness, once again cause and effect.” This is a belief that has been set in absoluteness. Therefore, it is unquestioned; it merely is. It is your truth.
Now; this is not bad. It merely is. It is your truth. Therefore, in recognizing that belief which has become your truth in absoluteness, you may examine what aspects of that belief or what influences of that truth serve you and are your preferences, and what expressions of it or influences of it are limiting to you. In that, you allow yourself choice. For once you recognize that it is not a truth, it is not an absolute — which is more challenging than you may realize — but once you move into the genuine expression of recognizing and realizing objectively that this is a strongly expressed belief but it is not an absolute, you begin to offer yourself choices.
Now; as to your dilemma, my suggestion to you — recognizing that it is your choice — but my suggestion is that you allow yourself to relax and to stop forcing energy in opposition to your expressed beliefs. In your terms, your easy way out is actually your most efficient expression. There is no fault or wrong in easy. In actuality, this is a very strongly expressed mass belief, that if you are not generating difficulty in accomplishment, it is not a worthy endeavor.
NATASHA: Yes, that exists.
ELIAS: This is a belief and it is not truth.
NATASHA: And I’m recognizing it sometimes. I’m seeing it and I’m thinking why, why should it be that way? Why should it be so hard when I could be accomplishing it? I am recognizing, sometimes.
ELIAS: Correct. What is it that you and many, many other individuals express that you want continuously? You want to be creating easily. And you question why are all of these experiences and expressions so very difficult.
The reason they are difficult is that you choose the difficult direction. You are aware of the easy direction, of the easy choice. For example, in this conversation you are aware of which choice shall be the easy choice. But easy is equated with bad, but you want easy.
NATASHA: Yes!
ELIAS: (Laughs) You view your own contradiction? If you want easy and you know objectively what is the easy choice, choose it, and thusly acknowledge yourself for offering yourself the easy choice, perhaps even reward yourself with the incorporation of chocolate. (Both laugh)
NATASHA: I offer myself too much of that! I reward myself too much with it. (Elias laughs)
We have a little time left. I wanted to ask you about my past life, a couple of people in my life who I said I loved, if I ever had connections with.
ELIAS: Yes.
NATASHA: You know who I’m talking about?
ELIAS: Yes. In other focuses — several, yes.
NATASHA: This one person I met here, what was our relationship in other focuses, that I met here in America?
ELIAS: You have incorporated several focuses with this individual, and in many of these focuses you incorporate what may be termed to be intimate relationships, which influences your recognition of familiarity with this individual’s energy expression.
NATASHA: I remember this wave that just came over me when I saw him. It was so powerful; I couldn’t understand. Again, I’m not trusting myself. I’m starting to logically analyze it, and say is this because he’s so handsome or is it because of this or because of that? And again, I’m not trusting myself. I don’t know what it is.
ELIAS: Listen to your intuition and to your emotional communications. They are correct.
NATASHA: I have too many emotions very often — but such strong ones, no, not really.
ELIAS: This is an accurate avenue of communication. Listen to that, for it does offer you accurate information.
Now; in this also, allow yourself to be aware that you as an individual incorporate the ability to be expressing affection and love in its genuine sense or definition, in appreciation and knowing, in tremendous capacity. You are unlimited in your energy and your ability to express.
In this, it is merely your beliefs that limit you and bind you to the idea that in conjunction with loyalty that you must be focusing your attention merely upon a few individuals and allowing yourself to express your affection and love. That may be expressed in many, many different manners but equally so. In this, why shall you limit yourself and your natural expression in your capacity to be offering an energy of appreciation and affection?
NATASHA: What about the other one that is there, back in Kiev, in Ukraine?
ELIAS: Yes, you incorporate many focuses with this individual also, in many different types of relationships.
NATASHA: Were they intimate relationships?
ELIAS: Yes, in differing capacities, some romantic, some in the capacity of family relationships and several as quite intimate friendships.
NATASHA: Does he recognize any of this, I mean, on his unconscious level? Does he — I don’t want to say “know” — but does he feel it, has he felt it, then?
ELIAS: Somewhat, yes. Not to the...
NATASHA: Extent that I do.
ELIAS: Yes, but there is some awareness, yes.
NATASHA: Okay, great. I’ve got to be finishing the session. I thank you so much. I have so many more questions that are just flying in my mind and I cannot continue this, so...
ELIAS: I shall be anticipating our next meeting, my friend, and I shall be offering my energy to you in encouragement as you incorporate your exercises and in the interim time framework, until we meet again.
NATASHA: You know what, one more question about my friend at work tomorrow. I was trying to involve her in any of this. I was trying to tell her and she’s so stubborn. She has such an analytical way of thinking, she probably doesn’t ... just her draws or whatever. How can I convince her? Because she’s a good person; I believe she’s a very good person, very strong — probably too much strong.
ELIAS: It is unnecessary to convince.
NATASHA: It is not? Well, okay.
ELIAS: The greatest expression that you may offer, rather than attempting to convince, is to be expressing yourself and paying attention to yourself, and therefore expressing the example of the straight little sapling.
NATASHA: She’s going to explain everything is logical, you know, reasoning there’s a logical explanation. That’s her way.
ELIAS: But the energy that you project outwardly in being that straight little sapling becomes quite attractive and curious. (Chuckles)
NATASHA: Great. I thank you so much.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. (Playfully stern) And in this interim time framework until we meet again, be playful!
NATASHA: I try to sometimes. Thank you.
ELIAS: (Laughs) You are very welcome. In tremendous affection to you, my friend, and genuine love, au revoir.
Elias departs at 11:58 AM.
©2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.