Sunday, May 18, 2003 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael, Margot (Giselle) and Howard (Bosht)

Elias arrives at 4:10 PM. (Arrival time is 15 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

MARGOT: Good afternoon, Elias. I wish I had the “omph” in my voice that you have in yours! (Elias laughs)

I’ve asked Howard to sit in on this because he, very unfortunately, has had to experience some of the things that I have been going through in the last 24 hours, and also because he can remember some things that I can’t, and so he’s here.

It seems, looking over my notes, that we are today to do something like “part two” of the last time I talked to you a couple of weeks ago, in which we addressed my intent to be exploring death. I realized, after we talked, there were some things I should have asked you that I didn’t think to. Also I have learned that I always thought I’d be exploring other people’s deaths, not my own. I do not like exploring my own! (Laughing) I definitely don’t like this!

But somehow I got myself into a place... I know that I created this upsetting incident for myself and it’s been quite an experience. It’s not that I’m afraid of dying, I just feel angry and confused about my sense that I’m not very much in control of things, and you know how I like to control everything! (Elias laughs)

So what had happened is I had an appointment, a follow-up appointment, with a doctor that I’ve gone to two or three times now on Thursday. I was shocked when I got on the scales, which is the first thing you do, because I saw how much weight I’ve lost in about a month’s time. It works out to be the fact that I am, at this present time, losing weight at about a pound a week. I weighed about 117 pounds when I went to see this man for the first time, and yesterday or the day before I was down to 106. This got him quite concerned. I was very concerned because the first thing that popped into my head was the big weight loss that Vicki had, and I have a belief system about that — that I discovered was only my belief system, because I talked about this with Mary yesterday.

My belief system has always been that when the subjective begins to signal that disengagement is at hand or close or whatever, the message to the objective is to begin to lose mass or flesh. I don’t know where I picked up that belief system, but I think that I’ve always felt like that. That was the way I explained to myself after Vicki disengaged; I explained her weight loss and disengaging to myself because the subjective message was there. So, of course, that was the first place I went with it. It was an automatic sort of a going someplace with something.

Oh, and the doctor — I’ll get back to what I was saying — the doctor, he got upset about this and decided that he should put me on a tranquilizer because I was obviously deeply depressed. I do get depressed from time to time, but I’ve never gotten so depressed that I lost weight! I took the first tranquilizer pill yesterday morning and I just went into hell for the day. I was zombie-like and very, very upset and couldn’t think. I couldn’t do anything. I was just so... I don’t know. I was really out of it. That’s what set all of this off. Now, today, I’m just very tired, but I’m not in the space that I was in yesterday.

When I talked to you the last time, I told you that I’d gotten the message very clearly that I’d interpreted to be something like “you have just died.” I decided if that was the case, I had taken enough of my reality with me so that I thought I was still alive, perhaps. That led to our talking about it and the fact that I watched my reality so closely for a while until I convinced myself I wasn’t dead. But I never asked you in that talk if that’s what I’d done! So I guess I’m asking you now.

ELIAS: Whether you have disengaged or not?

MARGOT: Yes!

ELIAS: No, you have not.

MARGOT: Well, thank you! I should have asked you before! (Elias laughs) I got so involved in everything we had talked about that I didn’t.

The thing that really threw me off, as I have told you, is about the weight thing. First of all, the belief that I have about the loss of weight before disengagement, is there any truth in that at all or is that just something that somebody made up? (Pause)

ELIAS: Is there truth to this, or rather is this viable that an individual may be incorporating loss of weight in association with death? Let me express to you first of all, this is not an absolute. Remember, you are addressing to beliefs. Therefore, they are not truths; they are beliefs and beliefs are not absolutes.

Now; there are mass beliefs that express that if an individual is incorporating certain dis-eases that they shall also incorporate loss of weight in conjunction with those certain dis-eases — not all dis-ease, but some. But that...

MARGOT: I really do understand that part, but I don’t have a disease that I am aware of.

ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, the loss of weight in conjunction with mass beliefs, it is understandable and recognizable that your physicians may incorporate some concern, for this is a mass belief.

But in actuality, generally speaking, without the incorporation of a dis-ease you may be incorporating the action of weight loss, and this is not harmful to you. You are not generating a dis-ease. In this, you are merely incorporating an action of decreasing some of your body consciousness weight merely to incorporate more of a lightness within yourself.

MARGOT: And that’s a good thing, right?

ELIAS: In your terms, yes. This is not a detrimental action that you are incorporating with yourself. It is a reflection physically of a direction that you are choosing to be incorporating within your focus, to be incorporating now more of a lightness in your energy, and you are evidencing that to yourself in a physical manifestation.

MARGOT: Does it have anything to do with the Shift, then?

ELIAS: Partially, for it is associated with your movement. Let me express to you, Giselle, you have incorporated in recent time framework changes within your direction. You have chosen to be discontinuing the work, so to speak, that you had incorporated previously. You have offered yourself more time in which you may express your freedom, and in that, you have also been moving into much more of an expression of allowance with yourself, exploring your preferences, offering yourself a new perception concerning your focus, and incorporating more of a lightness and not as much of an expression of seriousness and rigidness with yourself. Therefore...

MARGOT: I’ve been trying to do that!

ELIAS: Correct, and therefore you also are reflecting that within your body consciousness.

MARGOT: There’s one other little point here, too. I really don’t eat a lot because I’m just so damn bored with food. I have always told myself that’s because I’m a final focus and many things become very boring. Food is what bores me the most, and so I kind of just eat enough to stay alive! (Laughs)

So that helps a great deal. One other thing that I wanted to ask about that came up — I’ve thought of it before and I thought that it is just too stupid to ask — but when I get depressed, I very often tend to say or think things like I wish I could die. Now, it occurred to me finally again the other day that every time I say that, my subjective or somebody may be keeping score. (Elias chuckles) And I got to wondering how many times one can say or think that, when they really don’t mean it, that it makes a difference.

ELIAS: Let me express to you, you are not sabotaging yourself. You may be expressing this, if you are so choosing, thousands and thousands of times. I may assure you that you yourself, your objective and subjective awarenesses, your identity that is you, you know what you actually want.

Individuals express many different expressions in association with frustration, and as I have said to you and to many other individuals, thought does not create your reality. Therefore, you may think repeatedly that you wish you would merely disengage; that does not create the action and it does not necessarily influence your choice to be disengaging.

As I have stated, you create what you concentrate upon, and what you concentrate upon is not necessarily associated with thought. It is associated with your beliefs. Your beliefs that you express in this time framework continue to engage curiosity in your exploration. And therefore, you are not engaging an action of disengagement.

Now; let me express another point to you which is significant in this experience that you have presented to yourself. What you did was allow another individual to dictate to you your choices and your reality.

MARGOT: Yes, I did that.

ELIAS: You allowed the physician to dictate to you borne of his beliefs and his concerns, not trusting yourself and not listening to yourself, but complying with what the physician expressed to you and allowing that individual to direct you.

MARGOT: Well, he’s not going to be doing that again! I don’t plan to ever see him again. I did see that yesterday, even in the agony I was in, that I had been kind of naïve. I don’t know why I was so naive, but I did that!

ELIAS: Correct, and in this, my friend, let me offer to you an identification. You may at times move into an expression of confusion, which we have discussed many times. In those time frameworks of confusion, you generate a type of behavior that may be more inwardly focused.

Now; I am understanding that your physicians label this type of behavior as depressive, and I am also understanding that in association with your individual beliefs you label this action many times as depressed. But I may express to you, generally speaking you do not express an depressive personality.

MARGOT: What would you call it?

ELIAS: You move in and out of different expressions associated with transition, which at times becomes confusing, and you may move your attention inwardly. What you do many times in those time frameworks is you discount yourself, and this is what you are labeling as depression.

MARGOT: I can see that, yes.

ELIAS: But in actuality, you are not, generally speaking, a depressed individual. You allowed this individual, this physician, to express to you that you are a depressed individual...

MARGOT: Yes, I did allow that.

ELIAS: ...and you are not.

MARGOT: Well, that’s probably the best thing you could say to me. And to call it discounting, I understand that completely and that’s extremely helpful.

ELIAS: This discounting of yourself generates an uncomfortable feeling, which you are interpreting as depressed. But I may express to you, what you are confusing is that individuals within your physical reality may be generating what may be identified as a depression, and that expression, in genuineness, is different. It is an ongoing expression; it is not intermittent. It is a choice that individuals generate that, for many different reasons, dependent upon the individual, allows them to create certain types of attention to satisfy certain wants.

Now; what you generate is quite different. You are not generating an expression of attempting to gain certain types of attention. And let me qualify in this explanation: those individuals that do express a genuine depression, their expression is not bad or wrong.

MARGOT: I understand that.

ELIAS: Each individual generates that type of expression in association with their own unique reasons and movement.

But the point in this is that this is not what you are generating. This is what you are allowing other individuals to tell you that you are generating, but this presents a defined label to you that you may identify or you may offer to yourself that this is a time framework in which you are depressed. Therefore, you may address to that in many different manners, for you have labeled it.

In actuality, the time frameworks in which you generate what you think of as depression is actually a time framework of confusion, generally speaking associated with transition, and in that confusion, your automatic response to it is to discount yourself and to judge yourself, and therefore you generate upset.

MARGOT: Yes, I certainly do!

If the earth and everything has a blueprint, it seems to me that I have a blueprint, too.

ELIAS: Yes.

MARGOT: My belief associated with this is that in that blueprint, there might be a little tick-mark that is kind of a forecast of how long I’ll live or when I disengage. Is that so?

ELIAS: Somewhat, but remember, it is not an absolute, for that negates choice.

MARGOT: Right, I understand that. I have always felt that my blueprint would have a little tick-mark or something like that at the time I reach 89. This may be because both of my parents died when they were 89. I don’t know how much that’s affected me.

ELIAS: That is an association.

MARGOT: So, you wouldn’t care to tell me if I’m getting close to that little tick-point?

ELIAS: Not yet.

MARGOT: Okay, that’s sort of helpful, Elias! (Elias laughs)

I know that I’m a control freak, but I really feel like I can be objectively knowing when I want to disengage and not knowing, and I’m definitely not in that place now.

ELIAS: Correct.

MARGOT: I also felt because of certain things that occurred last weekend when we were with Quin-Tue and his partner, that had a little bit to do with what I’ve been going through at the end of the week. We came home very tired. Is there any connection there at all?

ELIAS: And your impression?

MARGOT: Oh, my impression is that there is a connection, because it was very kind of debilitating, depressing to both Howard and I to spend the kind of a weekend that we did with them. But we can’t quite nail it down as to what actually was going on there — a lot of judgment.

ELIAS: Correct, and not allowing yourselves to be freely expressive of yourselves, therefore generating a constriction.

MARGOT: Well, I don’t want to go back any time soon! (Elias laughs)

I’d like to go back for just a little moment, back to the fact that I learned the last time I talked to you that I am actually Massenet, whose work I love so much. That tune of “Meditation from Thais,” I got the feeling yesterday, because it once again pulled me back out of whatever I was into, I felt very strongly that he/I wrote that in that time framework explicitly for me in this time framework. Is that possible?

ELIAS: Yes.

MARGOT: I know that within simultaneous time that’s certainly possible, but I just soar when I listen to that tune and it’s such a thrill to me to know that I wrote that. I searched the Internet quite a few times for information about that opera, and I find very, very little. Can you tell me what “Thais” means? Because I connect it with death.

ELIAS: You shall offer yourself this information! I am aware of your investigation, and I am also aware that you are moving much closer to your objective in this endeavor.

MARGOT: Thank you for saying that, because I do talk to him from time to time.

I think you almost as good as told me after I met with you last time that Mary/Michael is Queen Victoria. Can you confirm that now?

ELIAS: No, not Michael. I expressed to you that this is an individual that is quite close to Michael. That was the clue, that this individual is now quite close to Michael.

MARGOT: Oh! Sandy?

ELIAS: Correct! One point!

MARGOT: (Laughing) Okay, got it! (Elias laughs) Also, I have one other point here. You told me oh, quite a while back — and I don’t think these were your words for it — but I’ve always translated it that I am carrying the Shift in my legs; that when I get something wrong with my legs, it’s the Shift.

ELIAS: Yes.

MARGOT: Because while I’m not having the problem with them that I was at that time, they are weak and I have to constantly watch how I walk so that I can stay balanced. I’ve always thought, well, that is the Shift and I don’t have to think about that. This last week, I read quite a little bit of the biography of Alexandra, who, my goodness, I had no idea that she had such a bad time with her legs. It occurred to me because of the timeframe in which she lived, which would have been at the beginning of the Shift, certainly in the timeframe that she lived when there was a revolution, that kind of kicked the Shift off in many areas. Was the problem that she had with her legs the same thing?

ELIAS: Quite similar.

Now; let me express to you that in this time framework there is a fluctuation of energy. You all collectively are preparing to be engaging another wave in consciousness addressing to another belief system. It has not occurred yet, but the fluctuation of energy is presently occurring, which is another factor in contribution to what you have experienced in this recent time framework.

MARGOT: So would you tell me what this is going to be?

ELIAS: I may not necessarily express that yet, for there is some fluctuation in the choice collectively. I have expressed previously that there was a potential to be engaging the belief system of emotion, which there continues to be a potential, but it is unclear of whether that will actually be the belief system that is engaged and addressed to in this next wave. But as I recognize the choice, I shall also be offering that information to you.

MARGOT: Thank you. I can’t say I’m anxious to engage that but that’s okay, I’ll get through it.

ELIAS: What I am expressing to you is information that you may recognize that there is fluctuation in energy occurring presently and that is a contributant to different expressions that individuals may be generating in this time framework, creating exaggerations in their experiences.

MARGOT: Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.

Howard, did you have anything you wanted to say?

HOWARD: No, no, I don’t.

MARGOT: Oh, well, that’s different, isn’t it, Elias!

ELIAS: (Laughs loudly) Very well!

MARGOT: Mary asked me to keep this as short as we could because of the kind of day that she’s had today, so maybe we’d better wrap it up. I can’t thank you enough, Elias!

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my dear friend. You pay attention to you, and do not allow other individuals to dictate your choices.

MARGOT: Never again! Never again! (Elias chuckles) Thank you so much!

ELIAS: As always, I offer to you tremendous affection, Giselle.

MARGOT: And me to you.

ELIAS: You are a dear friend, and I am acknowledging of that. To you both in tremendous lovingness, au revoir.

MARGOT: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 4:47 PM.

©2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

---

Copyright 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.