Saturday, May 10, 2003 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Letty (Castille)

Elias arrives at 10:55 AM. (Arrival time is 18 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

LETTY: Good morning, Elias! How are you, my good friend?

ELIAS: As always, and yourself?

LETTY: I’m doing well today, thank you.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Very well.

LETTY: I’ve been wanting to talk to you. As you know, I’ve gone through some shifts within the last couple of weeks, so I decided I wanted to talk to you. I thought I was very anxiously waiting to talk to you even two weeks ago. But I understand why I allowed it to go until today — so I can acknowledge myself a little more.

ELIAS: Very well!

LETTY: This morning I want to start with a question for Marta.

ELIAS: Proceed.

LETTY: As you know, he had that cyst in his chest, and he went through the routine of our belief systems and the doctors. He’s understanding how he’s creating it and alleviating it. At one point he thought he had made up his mind to just get operated, but he stumbled with too many barriers with red tape and everything. Then he just decided that he was not going to get operated and he was going to work on changing his physical objective imagery to not let that control him, I guess.

He wanted to know if you had any suggestions on helping him dissolve this cyst, even though he does understand why and how he’s creating it. He doesn’t want to go through the medical procedures.

ELIAS: Very well. I may, first of all, offer the suggestion that he move his attention and not be concentrating upon the manifestation as strongly, for as he continues to concentrate upon the manifestation or symptoms he also perpetuates that. I may also offer the suggestion that in not concentrating upon the manifestation, he may move his attention into distractions that shall occupy his attention and generate more of an expression of ease, and in that to remember to incorporate a playfulness, for as he is aware, he generates a tendency to be expressing more seriously, and that generates a form of tension within his physical body consciousness also, which also affects and perpetuates the manifestation.

LETTY: Sounds good for me, too, for anything! Thank you very much.

ELIAS: You are welcome.

LETTY: I want to start this morning working through a very different dream I had a couple of weeks ago. It was quite interesting because I usually have these two or three different episode dreams where it seems like I’m in one dream and then I move into another section completely.

In this one, I walked through almost like a set of different scenarios all within the dream, but I could see myself walking. I was driving to the gym and I was waiting for an aerobics class. Seeing the exercise machines, I was going to go over to that area of the gym, but within a half a step I was already in a different scene. I was at a high school graduation with all these people who seemed all dressed up waiting for the graduates. Then I bumped into a friend of mine with her brother. I’m not sure of the significance of my meeting them but it was very brief, and I think the briefness had something to do with it.

Then all of a sudden I was on the train, like on a subway, sitting with a couple next to me that was kind of like pushing themselves onto me. It was sort of overcrowded, and I was starting to suffocate. But at that moment I kind of shifted my sight. I was walking in the park, and there was a lady with dogs who was trying to keep them away from me because she thought I would be scared of them. Even so, I didn’t feel any fear; I still continued walking. I closed the gate to the park, because there were two other dogs outside and I didn’t want them to fight with these dogs that were inside the park.

Then all of a sudden I got home, what I thought was home, and here I am saying, “Hello, honey, I’m home,” and there was my old, old, old, old boyfriend Cameron. I realized that I had driven to the gym and I had to go get my car, and all of a sudden I was there with Cameron and my parents picking up a car. I could go on because it happened on and on and on.

But then all of a sudden I’m in my bed by myself, and the bed starts shaking. I thought it was an earthquake, and I thought I was awake really. Then the bed started swinging really, really hard like a swing, and I thought oh my god, is this building going to make it with this earthquake? Then I realized it was me! I jumped out of bed and I started telling myself, “Letty, Letty! Stop it, Stop it!” because it was me that was doing all this.

ELIAS: And what is your impression as to this imagery?

LETTY: I think that a lot of it is what I think is going on inside me right now, of moving through many different things and not really staying with it, and trying to make myself feel okay because my beliefs are that you do something and you stick to it and you follow through. Somehow this allowed me to feel at ease in this movement. I didn’t feel strange; I felt almost comfortable to a certain degree, except for the shaking. But then I realized there is something in me that still is not quite balanced, and within that balance the shaking was telling me that. In a way, I was trying to mentally, like an affirmation, tell myself not to fret about it, that it’s okay what I’m doing.

ELIAS: Correct.

Now; recognize that there is a theme that moves through all of these different imageries, and that is what is significant. You generate all of these different scenarios and changing scenes for a reason.

For in this, your impression is correct, and the theme of all of this imagery is a presentment to you of flexibility and allowing yourself to not incorporate as much rigidness as you are familiar with. For in allowing yourself to not incorporate such rigidness and such adherence to this belief concerning follow-through, you also allow yourself much more freedom, for that aspect is another expression of expectation and control.

Whereas, if you are allowing yourself to continue your movement, recognize that in many different directions simultaneously you are generating one theme in association with them all, and that is to be incorporating more flexibility.

LETTY: Oh my god, I just saw how the whole theme of this conversation is going to be this rigidness!

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Which is not unusual. Each of our conversations generally does incorporate a theme.

In this, what you have presented to yourself is an accurate reflection in interpretation of subjective movement in a mirroring and harmony with the objective expressions. It is imagery that you are presenting to yourself concerning your objective movements, that you also within objective expressions incorporate many different directions simultaneously but the theme within them also is to be noticing and incorporating more flexibility and less rigidness.

LETTY: Wow. So is that what I am creating with Leezar? I recognize the shift in my perception of our relationship. I do catch myself going back to the familiar and the expectations of what I put on him, on myself and then again the frustration of not being able to control it. Yet at the same time, within these last two weeks I felt a little shift where I’m starting finally to allow myself. If I’m not creating it, it’s okay and I don’t have to control to create what I continue to think instead of genuinely listen to myself.

ELIAS: Correct. In this also, an aspect of the rigidity is to continue to express in black and white terms and not incorporating for all of the choices and possibilities that you may be expressing, but rather holding to that rigidness and merely directing your thinking, which is attempting to translate your communications but limiting that in the either/or scenarios — which is another expression of not allowing yourself that flexibility.

LETTY: Kind of like saying that if he doesn’t call me, I’m not going to call him anymore.

ELIAS: Correct, or that the relationship must be configured in a certain manner otherwise it shall not be continued.

Now; what in this rigidness and this scenario are you missing?

LETTY: The allowance.

ELIAS: Partially. But where is your attention?

LETTY: On him and his actions.

ELIAS: And...?

LETTY: Not on mine, for sure.

ELIAS: And...? Is it within the now?

LETTY: No.

ELIAS: No.

LETTY: It’s not in the now, of course.

ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, what are you missing? The appreciation of what you are creating in the now, for you are distracted and projecting to the future and to the past. Therefore, you miss the now and the allowance of yourself in flexibility to appreciate what you generate NOW, rather than anticipation and expectation of other time frameworks.

LETTY: (Sighs) This sounds like déjà vu! Have we been here before, Elias?

ELIAS: (Laughs) This is quite unfamiliar territory, my friend, and it does necessitate practice.

LETTY: Within this theme — this is happening to me lately — I keep getting telephone calls, and I’m just realizing in this one moment that those calls when I pick up the phone and nobody’s on the other end are to bring me back to the now.

ELIAS: Correct, and to present a message which is quite clear. The telephone is ringing, you respond, there is no message — which expresses to you what? You are recognizing some of your signals, but you are not paying attention to the message. You are not hearing.

LETTY: Yes, I’ve noticed I just get frustrated and hang up, and I go back to the expectations and anticipations of where I was at the moment.

ELIAS: Correct, and the rigidness.

LETTY: I also lost my sense of smell. So these little things that I’ve been putting to myself are expressions that I’ve created, right?

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: Even like losing a pair of shoes for two days. I had looked for them, they were not there, and then they appeared two days later. (Elias chuckles) Or was that you, Elias?

ELIAS: No. This was your expression.

LETTY: I kind of thought so, too.

ELIAS: I am quite willing to assume responsibility for my playfulness, but this would not be one of those expressions. Ha ha!

LETTY: What about hitting my car? All of a sudden there’s a pole there and I hit it! It gets in my way when I’m driving. (Laughs) But I think I do know the answer. It happened twice. I hit two different things, a car and a pole, when I was going in reverse. To me, the imagery immediately was that I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going because I was not in the present; I was in the past.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: It cost me a lot of money, Elias! But then I don’t put value on money anyway, so that wasn’t a big deal. The imagery was very, very clear.

ELIAS: And also you have presented this imagery to yourself in a manner in which you quite specifically and purposefully expressed a jolt to yourself.

LETTY: Oh, yes, I did! It scared me in those moments. Unfortunately, my first reaction was still the familiar of discounting myself, but at that moment I did realize that I did it for a reason, for attention.

ELIAS: Correct.

Now; in this, Castille, also perhaps you may be initiating a game with yourself. In the moments that you are noticing that you are discounting yourself, imagine yourself to be standing upon a game board and the action of noticing allows you to skip ahead two spaces.

LETTY: I like that!

ELIAS: (Chuckles) This interrupts the familiar action of discounting yourself and allows you to turn that discounting into an acknowledgment.

LETTY: I like to play games. (Elias chuckles) Yes, I do need to do that. I do recognize when I am discounting myself at the moment, but sometimes I don’t know how to shift it, to relax about it, other than just notice it. Sometimes I notice it but then I don’t stop it; I continue to discount myself even though I notice it.

ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, if you alter your response to be incorporating a game, you shall interrupt that pattern.

LETTY: I’m trying to get more assistance from you on this rigidness that I act so well in regards to Leezar. One of the things that came up right now in this conversation was that within my rigidness and my black and white I realized I’m trying to fight and discount myself for not understanding the communication of what I genuinely want.

It’s been fun seeing a change in me with that relationship. Maybe because he’s there, I still consider that I am open to a relationship. I have fun, even though I recognize the stress that I put myself in. To me it’s the experience of... Oh god, I’m making myself all jumbled here.

I guess the point is I have had this belief system in my mind, that it’s the rigidness that until I am more open-minded with my awareness and understanding and more familiar with all of the information that you have given us, then I will give myself the opportunity to have a man in my life, where I don’t go through so much trauma.

ELIAS: Perhaps, but I may express to you also that you can generate that action now and not create the trauma that you have previously if you may move yourself into the moment and hold there, allowing yourself to discontinue the expectations and anticipations of what should be in the future and allow yourself to appreciate the now.

I may express to you, Castille, for the most part this is a tremendous challenge within you, for it is such an automatic response that it clouds you in what you want. For your association of thinking concerning what you want is generally, for the most part with few exceptions, centered around the future. Even this statement that you presented concerning assimilating information and applying the information and becoming more familiar is associated with what you may or shall be in the future, and within that time you may create a relationship that you want.

LETTY: And of course that never gets here because I’m in the now. So I’m kind of on that little hamster wheel sometimes?

ELIAS: This is not what I am expressing to you. What I am expressing to you is that the reason that you do not generate it is that you are NOT paying attention to the now and you are not appreciating what you are generating now. You are waiting for the future and anticipating what may be in the future or thinking about what will be in the future, but not appreciating what is in the now.

In your previous encounter with Leezar, where was your attention?

LETTY: On the future, definitely.

ELIAS: Correct. Your attention was not centered upon the interaction in the now that you were engaging with him and appreciating that time framework and not generating any expectations. Your attention was projected to the future in questioning what may be or what may not be, how you may create that or how you may not create that, and what is it that you actually want concerning this relationship or this individual or yourself — none of which was concerning the now or the interaction that was occurring, and you shut the door upon your appreciation.

LETTY: I really did kind of recognize that, too. The previous time, when he came for my birthday, I did a little better on that one.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: But I did recognize the second time when we had lunch, I was definitely not there.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: I do try to relax, starting with relaxing my body, because I know when I start working on trying to manipulate my physical body energy, it does bring me to the now.

ELIAS: Very well. Perhaps also within your new game you may begin to incorporate an action that may facilitate your appreciation of the now in each day, as you allow yourself to generate fun expressions in whatever you may be engaging in that day, and pay attention merely to them, as in the example of your incorporating lunch with Leezar. Had you allowed yourself to merely appreciate the fun of incorporating that action, you would not be questioning what you want, for you would be allowing yourself that flexibility to generate what you want in the moment — which, as I have stated to you previously, is tremendously powerful and quite influencing, for you project a very different energy in that expression and that is quite affecting of the interaction that occurs.

LETTY: I do recognize that our energies are so connected on an energy level. I understand; I can see it.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: So to lighten a little bit of this whole rigidness and lack of flexibility that I practice, I came in one evening and found a little origami bird, which represents in the belief systems that I’ve grown up with that a tsuru is a little bird, a white crane, which is good luck. It’s white, so it’s even purer. It just appeared; obviously I created it here in my house. So is that...? Because I know sometimes I’m very hard on myself, and I turn around and recognize that I do something nice for myself to remind myself that I don’t have to go there.

ELIAS: Correct, and this was an acknowledgment, a presentment of imagery precisely for that reason, to remind you to acknowledge yourself and appreciate yourself.

LETTY: But then I went the opposite. I’ve been having kind of like stomach pains from my operation to remind me when I’m thinking that I’m looking at myself as a victim of this doctor who didn’t do his job perfectly, and obviously not allowing myself to recognize that I am creating it.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: A lack of acceptance of my choice, too.

ELIAS: Correct, and generating an association that the choice that you incorporated was bad, and it was not. It was merely a choice.

LETTY: I think the theme, besides the rigidness, has to be I recognize how much I need to incorporate more fun, more lightness.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: I’ve recognized how much I have been in that automatic and not noticing or allowing myself in the moment.

ELIAS: Correct. For a time framework you were moving in that expression of practicing that awareness within your day quite effectively, and you have allowed yourself to move into your automatic responses once again. But do not discount yourself for that action either! Merely recognize what you are generating and allow yourself in that noticing to generate choice and change.

It is quite easily expressed to be discounting of yourself as you notice that you may be generating a familiar action in automatic responses, and you expect yourself to be creating better. No, this is not the situation.

It is not a matter of expectations or better, but of acknowledging that you are recognizing, you are noticing now, and therefore now you are also offering yourself other choices. There is no necessity for discounting of yourself. You merely have moved in the direction that you have, and now you are recognizing and now you may choose to move within a different expression. That is the implementation of the flexibility, which is quite associated with your dream imagery, moving from one expression to another.

LETTY: That was a really awesome dream. (Elias chuckles) In a way, I know we do that objectively, but we don’t allow ourselves to see it. We put that wall from one scene to the other.

ELIAS: Correct. In this, also recognize that within the dream imagery there was no incorporation of regret from one scene to another.

LETTY: Of finishing or following through or anything. The best part is I never felt fear. But the part where I got up and kept telling myself to stop it, was it really to stop the movement that I was doing because maybe I was not really going where I wished to be going? The last part of that dream...

ELIAS: ...was quite significant. For what you were expressing to yourself was a recognition of all this movement and the flexibility incorporated in it within the imagery and the allowance of yourself without regret, without expectations. Thusly, you present to yourself imagery of awakening and in the awakening you are strongly expressing to yourself to stop, for you are addressing to the objective awareness in that expression and recognizing that within your objective waking state you do not allow that flexibility; you immediately snap into the rigidness.

Therefore, you incorporate the shaking, the automatic response to automatic associations, which is your presentment to yourself of the immediate creation of automatic responses. Subsequently, you shake yourself and express to yourself quite strongly, “Stop! Stop! Stop! Remember the dream imagery, remember the flexibility.”

LETTY: I understand how I need to shift into that. I was doing really well — again, I’m going to the past — but what works easier for me is trying to remember a feeling of the past. I guess maybe that sometimes makes it more difficult to move to the now.

ELIAS: At times, but at other times not. For if you are recalling accomplishment and acknowledging yourself, you may also reinforce that in the now to be reminding yourself that you do accomplish, you do incorporate these abilities. It is not necessary to discount yourself. You CAN create these expressions of noticing and paying attention in the now and appreciating of yourself and what you create, for you have in the past and you have presented to yourself your evidence of your accomplishment.

Therefore, rather than discounting yourself and expressing to yourself, “Oh my! I am not accomplishing. I have incorporated three steps backwards. I am not creating what I was creating, and this is very bad.” Rather than incorporating that association, perhaps you may stop and allow yourself to recall briefly and express to yourself an acknowledgment: “Ah! I recognize that I am creating quite a few automatic responses recently, but I am aware that I may change that expression now.”

LETTY: Here would be now.

ELIAS: Correct. “I have accomplished previously. I know I incorporate this ability. Therefore, I may also accomplish now.”

LETTY: Thank you for your acknowledgment also.

ELIAS: You are very welcome.

LETTY: This is a lot to assimilate and give myself permission to change without discounting myself, to change my choices.

ELIAS: Yes, and acknowledge your preferences. Appreciate yourself and what you are generating in the moment.

LETTY: Thank you so very much, Elias.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, Castille. My energy moves to you continuously in that very acknowledgment.

LETTY: Wait, wait, wait! I do have one question about your energy! Was that you that walked through the door in my office the other day?

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: And you were announcing yourself through my screen with that beautiful blue flower?

ELIAS: Yes. (Laughs)

LETTY: Thank you! I did have fun. I knew that was you! It was a great feeling.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Merely a reminder to be acknowledging of yourself, as I am also.

LETTY: Yes, that was good timing, too. Thank you.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next discussion, and I shall continue to be expressing my energy to you.

LETTY: Thank you.

ELIAS: To you in great lovingness as always, my friend, au revoir.

LETTY: Au revoir, dear friend.

Elias departs at 11:39 AM.

©2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.