Pay Attention to Times of No Conflict
“Pay Attention to Times of No Conflict”
“Beliefs about Weather and the Seasons”
“If You Are Not Generating Fun, You Lose Motivation”
Tuesday, May 6, 2003 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Frank (Ulra)
Elias arrives at 8:04 AM. (Arrival time is 16 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
FRANK: Good morning! Nice to speak to you again! (Elias laughs) I want to start by asking about a dream I had about two weeks ago.
ELIAS: Very well.
FRANK: It was a real long dream, and I don’t remember much of any of it except the very end of it. I was down in the city fishing off a bridge, one of the bridges that go over the river downtown. There were a couple of people with me; I don’t remember who they were. I caught this fish, and somehow in the process of taking the fish off the line I dropped it and it fell back in the river and got away. I was expressing or feeling disappointment over that. Then all of a sudden, I caught another fish which was bigger and better.
My interpretation of that is that it’s sort of a way of telling myself not to be upset when things don’t go just the way I want them to, because I can usually generate something better if I want to.
ELIAS: Correct — or different.
FRANK: Right, because this next fish was actually different. It was bigger and just different looking, different shape and all that.
FRANK: The earlier part of that dream — again, my recollection of it seemed like it went on for a long time — was there other information in that, or was this all about the same thing?
ELIAS: I may express to you that you incorporate imagery in this dream associated with patience and recognizing that you incorporate different choices in each moment. What is significant in this particular dream is to be recognizing that you are offering yourself a message in relation to choices, concerning acknowledging and appreciating each choice and action that is incorporated in the moment for what it is, and allowing yourself to value the experience for the experience — which in actuality is quite a valuable message. For I may express that for the most part, you generate experiences and you value them according to the outcome rather than the process itself.
Therefore, the significance of this imagery is to recognize that each experience may be perceived differently if you are not generating the value of the experience merely based upon the outcome.
FRANK: Can you give me an example of that?
ELIAS: Let us incorporate the imagery of your dream with your fish. In this, you catch the first fish but it slips away, and you are disappointed. Therefore, you are evaluating your experience based upon the outcome. You view the second fish to be better, for it does not slip away.
FRANK: It’s also a better fish.
ELIAS: In your estimation.
Now; the fish is merely different, but it is evaluated as being better. In this, if you are perceiving your experience in a manner in which you are valuing the experience, knowing that this is associated with your choice, you may not necessarily be generating disappointment in relation to the outcome; for you are allowing yourself to value the experience itself and appreciating the choice and the action that you have incorporated, rather than the product.
FRANK: Actually, I’ve heard a couple of times recently people say to focus on the process and not the outcome. Is that the sort of thing you’re talking about?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. For in paying attention to that process and paying attention to what you are engaging and what you are experiencing, you also allow yourself to generate more choices, which allows you to create what you want more efficiently. But if you are not valuing the process and paying attention to the experiences that you are choosing, many times you are also unclear in relation to creating what you want in an outcome.
FRANK: I think I understand that.
ELIAS: For your process is what generates your outcome. Therefore, it is significant that you pay attention to the experiences that you generate within the process.
FRANK: It seems to me that I tend to pay more attention to the outcomes that I perceive as less desirable than what I wanted as opposed to the ones that I’m pleased with.
FRANK: Actually, that brings up another subject. I notice that when things aren’t going well I really do focus more on what’s going on than when things are going the way I want them to go. When things are going well I sort of go on autopilot.
ELIAS: Correct, which is quite commonly expressed within your physical dimension. Most individuals are paying more attention and concentrating more on experiences that are not what they want or are uncomfortable, rather than those that are generating what they want.
Now; this is also quite significant, for in that action you reinforce expressed beliefs in association with what you do not want, for you concentrate upon them. Whereas, were you to be more clearly paying attention to what you are engaging and the experiences that you are choosing in the time frameworks in which you are generating what you want, you also would offer yourself clearer information as to HOW you create that, allowing yourself to concentrate more upon your preferences, your preferred beliefs, than what is not a preference. As I have stated many times, you create what you concentrate upon.
FRANK: I suppose everybody’s probably pretty much the same on this, but let’s focus on me for now. Is this just some natural tendency? Is there some reason for that? Why is it so hard to stay focused when things are going well?
ELIAS: One reason is that when you are incorporating a time framework in which you are comfortable, you incorporate no desire to change. In this, in the time frameworks in which you are uncomfortable, you express a strong desire to change, and that desire to change does attain your attention.
FRANK: That makes a lot of sense. It’s pretty interesting, because right now things are going really well.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And in this, I may express to you, incorporate this opportunity, my friend. In this time framework that you assess that you are creating your reality quite well, pay attention, for there is much information associated with this in offering yourself an understanding of what you are generating and how you are creating your reality in the fashion that is what you want and is pleasing to you. It is valuable to pay attention and to recognize these experiences and the actions and the choices that you incorporate in time frameworks such as this, for as you move into another time framework in which you may be experiencing conflict, you shall incorporate information in how to alter that.
FRANK: As long as we’re on the subject of that, is there anything more specific you can tell me about this information that’s available to me now and how I can take advantage of that?
ELIAS: Yes. Pay attention to how you move. Within one day, allow yourself to pay attention to what you are actually expressing, how you respond to other individuals, how you are responding to different situations, and notice that you are expressing less judgment and notice that experiences and expressions that may be occurring within your day are less bothersome.
Now; also notice how you are responsive to what you generate in association with your environment, for this is significant also. You are moving into another season within your environment, and you are responsive to that creation also. The reason that these expressions are significant to pay attention to is that you do incorporate the ability to alter your perception in different time frameworks if you are allowing yourself to recognize what you are responsive to and what your preferences are.
For example, you experience more of a lightness now within this season than you did within your previous season. One of the reasons that you generate this experience is that within your previous season you offer yourself less freedom of movement; you constrict yourself more. Within this season, there is an alteration of your environment and you allow yourself more freedom. Therefore, you also allow yourself to relax more, and expressions within your day become less bothersome.
FRANK: So what you’re saying is that I can, if I choose to, allow myself the same freedom during the middle of winter?
ELIAS: Correct! This is the reason that it is significant to be paying attention to what you are actually generating.
You and other individuals many, many, many times engage conversation with myself in relation to situations, circumstances and experiences that are confusing or what you term to be troubling to you. Generally speaking, most individuals do not engage conversation with myself in relation to how well they perceive they are creating their reality.
But it may be quite beneficial to be examining how well you perceive you are creating your reality in time frameworks in which you are not generating conflict and you are generating satisfaction and you are allowing yourself to create what you want. For in the genuine recognition of how you are accomplishing that, you allow yourself to recognize that you may also choose in this manner in time frameworks in which you may not necessarily be generating what you want, and know that you do incorporate the ability to alter that and not be stuck. Are you understanding?
FRANK: Oh, yes. I think we should have a new procedure in our conversation (Elias laughs) that we will say that we have to discuss at least one or two positive things in each session!
ELIAS: Very well! I am quite in agreement with this idea! (Both laugh)
FRANK: It’s funny, because I’m looking at my list of things... Before we talked, I was starting to make a list of things to talk about. I look at it and there’s like one positive thing on there and the rest of it is all either curiosities or I guess what I would term to be on the negative side. (Elias laughs)
The one thing that I did want to discuss with you is that while things are going really well in terms of business and pretty much most areas, every area, how much of this is just because it’s a change? It seems pretty amazing, actually.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I may express to you that this is actually a significant factor and not one to be dismissed easily. For you in like manner to many individuals are quite responsive to the changes within your environment in your seasons, and you affect your movement in association with how you perceive your environment.
You perceive your environment in this season and your summer season to be quite open and free, and therefore you allow yourself an openness and a freedom. You perceive your autumn season to be the beginning and the introduction to less freedom, more constriction, and you view your winter season to be constricting and thick.
You affect your movement quite strongly in association with these environmental changes. You allow yourself to be expressing more of a carefree attitude within your warmer seasons. You also generate more of a seriousness within your colder seasons.
FRANK: Maybe I should move to Florida in the winter!
ELIAS: (Laughs) Or perhaps merely allow yourself to perceive it differently!
FRANK: We should have this discussion again during the fall.
ELIAS: Very well! (Laughs)
FRANK: Because between now and then I’ll be carefree and I’ll forget about all this! (Elias laughs) That’s very interesting. I know you have mentioned things about this to me in the past, but I never really totally hooked into what you were talking about.
ELIAS: Let me also express to you, my friend, do you not find it curious that you generate within your society most of your holidays within your colder seasons?
FRANK: I never thought about that before, but that’s pretty interesting.
ELIAS: And the reason that you incorporate these holidays within your colder seasons is to offer yourselves an opportunity to express that lightness and regain that freedom and insert those experiences that you value within your warmer seasons into your colder seasons.
FRANK: So this is pretty much a universal thing? You described it as far as I go, but it applies to probably pretty much everybody, would you think?
ELIAS: It applies to most individuals in association with where they choose to be physically locating themselves and if that physical location incorporates significant changes of environment with different seasons.
There are some physical locations that do not incorporate significant changes within the different seasons. The individuals that choose to be located in those areas are creating that, for the collective energy of the individuals in that area are collectively creating an environment in which they do not alter their physical seasons to any great degree. But there are other physical locations that incorporate quite extreme alterations in different seasons.
Regardless of the seasons and how they are expressed within each different environment, the perception of the seasons is similar. Even though the actual environment may not change much in some locations, the perception of the individuals is very similar, regardless. Those individuals that choose to be within physical locations that do express more extreme changes in the environment associated with the seasons may physically incorporate a stronger association than those that do not incorporate these environmental changes as extremely.
But for the most part, most individuals within your world do experience some elements of this affectingness in association with environment.
FRANK: So really what you’re saying is that the people that are present in my environment — which has tremendous extremes in weather, sometimes from day to day — that we’re here because it’s our preference to be here because of some aspect of our personality that likes these changes.
FRANK: I suppose that if I would suddenly express a different preference, I would find myself moving to Hawaii or California or someplace like that.
FRANK: While we’re on that subject, Lizella has expressed to me many times that she doesn’t like cold weather and doesn’t like it around here. I think that she may just move somewhere south when she’s old enough to do that. Would she fall into the other group, or is this something else that she’s expressing to me?
ELIAS: Yes, she would be an individual that generates a preference of less extremes in association with environment. There are many individuals that generate that preference. I may express to you that much of your world incorporates environments in which there are not these extreme changes in environment.
FRANK: I’ve often felt that I did like the changes in the seasons and felt that it would almost be too boring to live in a place that didn’t have them. But it seems that as I get older, I more and more tend toward the idea that maybe I don’t want these extremes. Is that just that I’m changing, or is it a function of something else?
ELIAS: It is somewhat of an alteration of preferences. Let me express to you, my friend, preferences do change. They fluctuate. You may incorporate one particular preference for many, many, many years within your focus, and in one moment you may alter that preference and incorporate a different preference.
In this time framework I may express to you that you are not entirely altering your preference in relation to your seasons. You are merely noticing how you respond to the creation of these seasons and generating a curiosity of exploring those experiences and expressions in relation to the alteration of your environment.
FRANK: I guess the key message in everything we’ve talked about in these last few minutes here is that I can sort of view the world the way I do now. You’re right — I can be happier and lighter and all that sort of thing during any season.
FRANK: Because actually, if that was the case, then to me the changing of the seasons is really a tremendous thing and one of the great joys of life.
ELIAS: Correct. It is a matter of perception.
FRANK: Why don’t we move on to some other things here. Sterling burned his hand pretty bad about two or three weeks ago, so I wanted to ask you about that and what his reasons were for that.
ELIAS: And your impression?
FRANK: This seems too simplistic, but it almost seems to me like it’s the same as a few months ago when he injured his wrist. Number one, there were some sports activities he didn’t want to participate in and it gave him a reason not to go. Number two, one of the things that was caused by this was basically I spent a lot of time taking care of his hand, putting on bandages and cleaning, a lot of personal attention from me to him, and I suspect that he probably wanted that as well.
ELIAS: Correct, and this is not too simplistic. I may express to you, first of all, you may have noticed the timing, so to speak, of his injury — which you did — which offered you information concerning his choice to not be participating in certain activities and games.
Let me express to you, my friend, perhaps you may engage an interaction with him in which you may communicate to him that it genuinely is his choice to participate or not in these games and that you shall not incorporate a disappointment if he chooses to not, therefore offering him permission to not incorporate injuring himself to avoid these games.
Many times he incorporates a perception that if he is not generating what he perceives to be a valid excuse in association with certain directions that he wants to be moving in, he does not wish to be disappointing. He also expresses a pressure, so to speak, upon himself to generate actions that he does not want if he does not offer himself some type of physical incorporation that shall provide him with an excuse that is not questioned.
FRANK: As I’ve expressed before, I’ve (inaudible)!
ELIAS: (Laughs) And he does incorporate a desire to be interactive with you. His payoff is that he may be expressing more of a closeness with you. But once again, many times — not always, but many times — he generates a perception that he must be incorporating an excuse to allow himself to engage that closeness with you.
FRANK: He feels like he needs the excuse?
Now; do not misguide yourself and incorporate personal responsibility for his choices. This is a matter of his own perception.
FRANK: Let me back up a little bit on this here. I assume you’re talking about the football team that he participates with as the activity that he really doesn’t want to do.
FRANK: Actually, what I have expressed to him... Well, I started to and then I decided I better stop because I didn’t want to push him, I just wanted to support him. I indicated to him that I thought he’d be better off if he didn’t do it. I guess I’m a little confused when you say that he felt like he needed an excuse, at least certainly not for my preferences. Or is this for other people that he feels he needs an excuse?
ELIAS: Let me express to you, this is a matter of HIS perception. Understand that you may be projecting energy to him and in your perception you are expressing, as an example, that your opinion is that it might be better for him not to participate in this game.
Now; how he receives that is his choice, and what he generates in association with his beliefs and what he is creating within himself. Therefore, as you may express that type of statement, that does not alter his perception, for his perception is suspicious of what would motivate you not to be encouraging him to be engaging these sports. Are you understanding?
FRANK: Yes, but what does he suspect? What does he think my real motivations are?
ELIAS: He does not question your motivation, but he is questioning himself. In this, as he is questioning himself, he questions within himself whether he shall be disappointing to you — which is not associated with what you express to him, but it is an element of his perception, for he is questioning himself.
FRANK: He’s done that all his life, I think. Actually we’ve spoken about this several times, and his big concern seems to be that he will lose the camaraderie of the people that he participates with in this activity.
FRANK: That seems like a real genuine fear he’s got. Again, I haven’t said a whole lot about it, other than I think it’s his choice but he doesn’t realize it. Anyway, any thoughts or comments on that? I guess he can generate whatever he wants with this.
ELIAS: Yes, he may, and this is also an element of his questioning of himself, questioning of what he may create and disappointment. As I have stated, this generates the expression of perceiving himself to be needing to express what he deems to be a valid excuse.
FRANK: This is getting pretty obvious!
ELIAS: For if he is generating a valid physical excuse in his perception, he may not be faulted, and that offers him an avenue to continue to be interactive with the individuals that he wants to be interactive with and generate the closeness, but not with the expectation of performing.
FRANK: I see that. That’s very evident.
ELIAS: What he is struggling with is not recognizing that it is not necessary to injure himself or to create physical manifestations as an excuse, and that he may quite well generate what he wants and also express his preferences in what he does not want to be incorporating. One is not sacrificed for the other.
FRANK: In line with conversations we’ve had, I’ve tried to just be supportive. I’m not always sure how to do that! And I’ve tried to let him make his own choices, which obviously is going to happen anyway. But other than what you suggested to me earlier about expressing to him that it’s really his choice to decide what to do, are there any other suggestions that you have for me?
ELIAS: To not concern yourself with his methods. Continue to express your supportiveness and your acceptance and your interaction with him. Recognize that he is generating imagery to himself also that he is noticing, that he is creating obvious manifestations and that they are not escaping his attention, either.
FRANK: But is he noticing it objectively?
ELIAS: Yes. Therefore I may express to you in this now, eventually he may begin to allow himself to trust himself more and therefore recognize that it is unnecessary to be incorporating these physical manifestations. He is somewhat aware objectively now that much of his conflict is associated with his own lack of trust of his ability to create what he wants in the manner that he wants.
FRANK: Do you communicate with him? I presume you do.
FRANK: Subjectively, obviously.
FRANK: I think that his objective view of the communication that you and I have is skeptical; he has a skeptical view of it.
FRANK: And I don’t particularly care. (Elias laughs) At least I don’t think I do! Any more advice on this subject, other than what you said?
ELIAS: No. (Laughs)
FRANK: Okay! That’s quite a bit of very interesting stuff there.
Let’s see. As long as we’re talking about the family here, there’s one thing here to ask you about Cardelete. She had expressed a desire to get a promotion. I think she had an opportunity to get it but didn’t get it. I’m curious about what her motivations were on that.
ELIAS: And your impression?
FRANK: Number one, I think probably a lack of self-confidence or feeling like she deserved it, and sort of a mindset that people don’t value her.
ELIAS: Partially, but also partially not genuinely wanting the responsibility.
FRANK: But she thought she did.
ELIAS: Individuals think they want many things within their realities, and in actuality, they might not necessarily. This is the reason that I continue to express to you all to be paying attention to your communications and to what you actually DO rather than depending upon your thought process, for your thoughts are not always accurate. They are accurate if you are paying attention to your communications genuinely and if you are paying attention to what you are actually doing, which is the evidence of your concentration in association with your beliefs.
Now; if you are paying attention to those expressions of yourself, your thought process shall be much more accurate for you are offering it information. Remember, it is a translating mechanism, and it may translate merely what you offer to it in information. Therefore, many times thought is not accurate, or it may be somewhat accurate but incomplete.
FRANK: I see that. That makes a lot of sense to me. I think we’re achieving that sense of cooperation that we discussed last time regarding the remodeling.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Very well!
FRANK: Actually, that was very helpful to me, what you discussed. The other thing that’s sort of come about as a result of it is — and this isn’t any big revelation; it’s been sort of going on little by little for a long time now — at least on my part, the attitude of kind of like this fish dream, kind of like if something doesn’t work then keep looking and something better will show up. That seems to keep happening here.
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, you are correct. Also let me express to you a reminder that, as you are aware, cooperation is not compromise, and you may express cooperation and it does not require agreement.
FRANK: You’ll have to explain that one to me.
ELIAS: You may be in disagreement with another individual and continue to allow yourself to cooperate. This is accomplished in moments in which you recognize that you incorporate differences, different preferences, different opinions and are not necessarily in agreement with each other, but you are not expressing a judgment of the other individual’s opinion or direction. Therefore, it is not necessary to be in agreement with the other individual and also continue to cooperate.
FRANK: At least with regard to this particular activity, I viewed it as a continuous search for options or choices until we find a choice that everyone likes.
ELIAS: Which is one method.
FRANK: To that extent, that seems to be working very well.
ELIAS: Very well! (Laughs)
FRANK: This is a subject that we’ve discussed many, many times, but I’ll bring it up again. My main business is going really well and I’m very happy with it, and I’m trying to focus on all those good things to keep them coming. But the other business that we’ve discussed many times just continues to flounder and to be on the edge of extinction almost. (Elias chuckles)
In the past you’ve told me that to some extent it’s got to do with my beliefs regarding the limits of my time and energy and other things, but at this particular point in time can you shed any light on it and give me any advice on it?
ELIAS: Pay attention to your preferences, my friend. As we have discussed, recognize that preferences change. Pay attention to your preferences in this time framework, and this may offer you information in relation to what you are engaging with this business.
FRANK: Are you saying that right now I really don’t want to do this?
ELIAS: There are some aspects of that expression that you are generating, but not quite that black and white. Recognize what your preferences are in association with the other business. With this business, recognize and allow yourself to evaluate what you are not expressing in relation to your preferences in association with it.
FRANK: So what I think you’re talking about are the activities that I engage in that aren’t particularly fun for me.
FRANK: That’s there for sure.
ELIAS: And if you are not generating fun, you lose motivation.
FRANK: So the solution is either change the activities or stop doing them.
ELIAS: These are two options. They are not the only options, but...
FRANK: What are some other options?
ELIAS: This is the reason that I am expressing to you pay attention to your preferences in association with this business. In this, you may modify some of your actions and experiences in association with it, and therefore allow yourself to generate different experiences more in association with your preferences, or interact with another individual and delegate different actions to another individual that you choose not to engage. There are many different avenues that you may incorporate. Do not get stuck in the black and white.
FRANK: That’s pretty obvious, but I’m not sure I would have thought of that! (Elias chuckles) Well, the time has passed quickly!
ELIAS: (Laughs) As always!
FRANK: Yes, that’s for sure! Thank you. It’s been a tremendous pleasure, and I look forward to talking to you again soon.
ELIAS: And I also, my friend, as always! And now, within this season, incorporate your fun and perhaps in our next discussion we shall be incorporating conversation of fun!
FRANK: Yes, that’ll be our new rule!
ELIAS: (Laughs loudly) Yes!
FRANK: Our new procedure!
ELIAS: (Laughs) Quite!
FRANK: I’ll try to spend some time talking about what’s going well.
ELIAS: Very well!
FRANK: Thank you!
ELIAS: To you, my friend, as always, my encouragement and my affection. Au revoir.
Elias departs at 9:04 AM.
©2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.