Monday, April 28, 2003 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Daryl (Ashrah)

Elias arrives at 2:27 PM. (Arrival time is 16 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

DARYL: Hello, my friend.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Hello, my friend, to you also!

DARYL: I have a whole lot of things I want to discuss with you. I’m going to do the simple things first, and then we can complicate things later.

ELIAS: Ah! Very well! (Laughs)

DARYL: Some focus impressions that I’ve been having — I was wondering, am I an observing essence on the Shackleton expedition?

ELIAS: Yes, and your impression?

DARYL: Am I George Marston? Is that the focus?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: So that’s another George — they’re everywhere, aren’t they! (Both laugh)

ELIAS: Interesting imagery you present to yourself!

DARYL: I want to talk with you about that later, if we have time.

I had a dream that I was a single woman and that I had a baby. I was forced to give the baby to the father, who was either my boss or my owner. Is that an actual focus?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Was the man Myranda?

ELIAS: No.

DARYL: I thought she was associated. Is there any kind of association with her in that focus?

ELIAS: Yes, but not in that capacity.

DARYL: So I can investigate more on that.

ELIAS: This would be in association with a focus that Myranda has identified recently in relation to what you term to be an African-American.

DARYL: I wondered if it was that.

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: So she might know who that is, then?

ELIAS: Yes. I have offered information and expressed an identification of this individual, but you may be investigating an association with that individual as an acquaintance.

DARYL: So her focus is an acquaintance of my focus?

ELIAS: Yes, which offered comfort, so to speak.

DARYL: Because I know it was very upsetting to me.

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Am I an observing essence of George Harrison?

ELIAS: Observing essence, yes.

DARYL: Another George! (Elias laughs) Am I an observing essence of Leonard Cohen, the singer?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Wow. I love that.

ELIAS: Let me offer you another bit of information in association with your impression concerning this first question.

DARYL: Which one, George Harrison?

ELIAS: No, that of the female. For you also incorporate another focus which expresses a similar experience within the time framework of which I have identified to another individual in association with a focus that they incorporate, and I offered information as to the ship of the Amistad.

DARYL: Was my focus connected with the ship of the Amistad, this other focus? This is another focus of mine that had a connection with the Amistad?

ELIAS: Correct, and a very similar experience.

DARYL: Having to do with giving up a child?

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: This is somebody in the forum that I know?

ELIAS: Yes.

Now; let me express to you that the individual that is your focus is not associated with the individuals that were involved with that ship experience. But this individual that is a focus of you did incorporate an association with another individual that engaged an interplay in association with that event, and that is another individual within this forum. If you are so choosing, you may be inquiring of Michael, for this has been a recent...

DARYL: So he’d know the individual?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: This is a weird one to me. Am I observing essence of Adlai Stevenson?

ELIAS: No.

DARYL: Do I have some other connection that would come up? He came to me when I was looking for focuses.

ELIAS: You incorporate a friendship with this individual. Shall you attempt to identify in your impressions who is the observing essence of this individual?

DARYL: Oona?

ELIAS: Yes (laughs), which you are quite consistent in this direction!

DARYL: So one of my focuses knows Adlai?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: And she is an observing essence of Adlai?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: My focus Clayton, I got a birth year of 2195 and I wanted to know if that’s correct.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: With the 11:11 dimension, I felt like I was interacting with one of my focuses there and that the translation of tone would be Bejab, B-E-J-A-B.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: I have more than one focus there, right?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: A few years ago I discussed or asked you about a nonphysical part of Ashrah named Jonathan that I was interacting with. I have a similar interaction with someone who takes the role of a woman. Is that also a nonphysical aspect of Ashrah?

ELIAS: Yes. The identification of gender is a translation, you are aware?

DARYL: Yes.

ELIAS: Very well.

DARYL: It’s like that’s the part she’s playing, that’s all.

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Earlier I discussed with you a focus that I sensed next to my focus of Edna, and you said it was a focus of Oona who was similar to Edna. My impression is that that focus of Oona is Willa Cather.

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: All right! (Elias laughs) I’m real excited about some of this stuff!

This hasn’t happened before, but I dreamed about Willa Cather. My impression is that I am observing essence of Willa Cather.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: So we actually share that focus?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Wow. A future focus of Oona who’s friends with Ashrah and communicates with Oona through feelings in her hand, Oona is thinking her name is Jenna. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: I also at that time got information about a Jennifer. Is Jennifer a focus of mine?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Oona and I got impressions about her future focuses. She was thinking she had 23, and I got the number 48. So can you tell us how many she does have in the future?

ELIAS: Forty-two.

DARYL: That’s certainly not much out of her 2000.

ELIAS: In actuality, you each connected with the first number.

DARYL: So does that mean that both she and I prefer being pre-shift, since we have very few focuses in the future?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.

DARYL: In terms of Oona’s current focus Leslie, she has the desire to contact Leslie, but she does not want to be invasive. She wondered if you had any comments on that.

ELIAS: It is merely a choice. I may express to you, merely recognize that actually generating that action may be less exciting and satisfying than you anticipate. For as I have expressed previously, generally speaking individuals within the same time framework that are focuses of the same essence do not generate much interest in each other if they are physically interactive with each other. It is quite rare that individuals may be quite responsive to each other if they are focuses of the same essence within the same time framework.

DARYL: I’ll pass that on to her, thank you.

I have a bunch more impressions, mine and other people’s. Is Margaret Atwood a focus of Camdon?

ELIAS: Observing essence.

DARYL: Is Jean Houston a focus of Camdon?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Is Michael an observing essence of Rasputin?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Does Allesander have a future focus named Alice?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Is that the woman he refers to as the “art chick”?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Does Alice know Oona’s focus, Jerome Clayton, in the City?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Is Mabel Dodge Luhan a focus of Sandel?

ELIAS: Observing essence.

DARYL: Is Evelyn Fortune Bartlett a focus of Sandel?

ELIAS: Also observing essence.

DARYL: Is Lillie Langtry a focus of Milde?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: All right! She doesn’t do many focuses, but she’s pretty accurate when she finds them. (Elias laughs)

For someone who was called Athenais who was the mistress of Louis XIV, the question is, is she a focus of Nanaiis?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I had the impression that Myiisha is connected with Gertrude Stein, and I’m not clear on the connection although I guess she had a dream indicating that her focus was a lover of Gertrude Stein. Is there a connection there?

ELIAS: Observing essence throughout the entirety of the focus of the partner of that individual.

DARYL: That would be Alice?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: That’s interesting! I had an impression that Myiisha has a future focus named Amanda. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: Does her focus Amanda know my focus Ashrah or share a focus with her?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: That Amanda would be at the Alterversity also?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I asked myself how many focuses I share with Myiisha, and I got 29 and another number I can’t remember but it added up to 11. So is 11 the answer to how many focuses we share?

ELIAS: Eleven, yes.

DARYL: I wish I’d just give myself a straight answer! (Elias laughs)

Now we’re coming to the meatier part of the discussion today. Last time when I talked to you about the fear and breathing that I was experiencing, you verified that I was using it not just for indicating that I was generating what I believed to be dangerous energy but also that I was using it to annoy myself, that I was using it to practice moving my attention, and you also indicated, which was a surprise to me, that I was using it, in the case of the Jungle Jim projection, to indicate that something was not a preference.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: After that session, I became pretty confused about what I was doing in each individual case, because I was still having it to a mild degree. One of the things I’ve asked you about several times is my bird Dusty, and I do understand why she’s been picking her feathers and that she’s been choosing certain actions in relationship with me. I still have fear around her. Is that only because I think that I’m dangerous to her, as we’ve previously discussed, or is there something about preference involved there?

ELIAS: Both, for you do incorporate beliefs in association with your preferences of behaviors.

DARYL: I’m not quite clear on what you’re saying there, that I don’t want her picking her feathers?

ELIAS: Correct! (Chuckles)

DARYL: I’m aware that I don’t like that, especially when she’s doing it on my behalf. I couldn’t figure out the preference part of it. Also, I think I was using the breathing stuff in terms of pointing out protection beliefs, and I think I have protection stuff around her also.

ELIAS: Yes, you do.

DARYL: Is she ever going to stop acting this stuff out and just let herself grow her feathers back? That’s a crystal ball question, I guess.

ELIAS: (Laughs) That would be in association with her choices and with your energy.

DARYL: I was having some of the breathing stuff when I would go out and use my grill. I was using that for meat, and that’s when I began to wonder if that was some kind of pointing out of protection beliefs about food and meat, or if I’m missing some kind of preference there.

ELIAS: In association with your beliefs, yes.

DARYL: The meat thing?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: So I’m not telling myself I don’t have a preference, or I have a preference for something else?

ELIAS: Not necessarily associated with preference, but associated with beliefs in relation to the thickness or heaviness of certain foods, which would be that of your meat substances, so to speak, and that some food substances incorporate less density and less thickness and less heaviness.

DARYL: So I prefer ones with less heaviness?

ELIAS: As I have stated, it is not necessarily associated with preferences but rather in association with beliefs concerning what may be more healthy.

DARYL: That’s what I was thinking it was, so I don’t have to drag preference into it. I like my meat and I want to keep eating it! (Elias laughs)

The other area that the breathing thing came up with several times is when I’m transcribing the official Elias sessions. For a while I thought that that was the dangerous energy thing, but then I also began to wonder if that had to do with preference.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, but not entirely. It somewhat is associated with preferences, but not entirely. It is associated with beliefs that you incorporate and therefore there is some expression of association with preferences, but not entirely.

DARYL: Are those beliefs having to do with working for nothing?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: So I think that that’s a bad thing?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes. For the beliefs that you incorporate in association with that action is that you are not being compensated and therefore not being appreciated. You are not acknowledging your choice to engage the action but projecting in expectation outside of yourself of what shall validate your worth in association with the appreciation of other individuals — which is not necessarily the situation, but it is the belief.

DARYL: Now that I understand that that’s the message, can I just let go of that and not have it associated with the transcribing?

ELIAS: Let me express to you, allow yourself to incorporate an awareness and a flexibility. For as you are aware, Ashrah, at times you incorporate an instantaneous acceptance of a belief and you alter your expression in relation to it and your choices in relation to it immediately. But at times you may express an acceptance of a belief temporarily and in your terms also revisit that belief and present it to yourself more than once.

Therefore, my suggestion to you is that you pay attention to yourself and allow yourself a flexibility, which is also quite significant in association with this particular imagery that you are offering to yourself. For you incorporate somewhat of a rigidness within your choices, that if you are choosing to be engaging a particular action you must continue to engage that action to its end.

Now; that is the rigidness. In this example, allow yourself to be aware of your responsiveness to yourself, and a flexibility. If you are incorporating a particular physical response in a particular moment, notice and allow yourself permission to incorporate different choices. If you are not incorporating that physical manifestation, you may allow yourself to relax and continue to engage the action. But it is not as black and white as you perceive it to be.

In this, you do in some respects incorporate a preference to be engaging this action of transcribing, for it offers you an avenue in which you allow yourself to objectively be connecting with this information in an intimate manner. But you also do express this belief concerning compensation and appreciation, and you equate the two as almost synonymous.

Therefore, in moments in which you are expressing that belief and you view yourself to be struggling with that belief, discontinue the struggle and allow yourself permission to engage different choices, recognizing that this is a strongly expressed belief.

DARYL: I didn’t know I had it that strongly.

ELIAS: In this, it is strongly expressed for it is not merely associated with what you term to be monetary compensation. This is associated with other expressions also, concerning how you view yourself and your offering within your choices to be expressing certain actions and your association within your beliefs of how those expressions should be appreciated by other individuals.

DARYL: So I not only expect that they should be expressing appreciation but I have like a little set of rules about how that should be done.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: I have the feeling that’s operating in more than one area in my life right now.

ELIAS: You are quite correct! (Both laugh)

DARYL: I think that kind of gives me an idea of where I was at back then. See, what happened was I got involved in a relationship and the breathing thing went away, and then it came back full force. I want to discuss that whole thing with you and understand precisely what I was creating during this, because I really think it would help me understand what was going on.

I was having some mild breathing problems and I was kind of confused, as we’ve discussed, about what was causing them. I had kind of put away the idea of an intimate relationship for the past couple of years while I was sorting out the information I got about how we actually create our interaction with others. I know that I was also busy becoming intimate with self, but I feel like I kind of felt unwilling to go with the relationship. Then I presented myself with somebody and began to get to know her. I kind of snuck her into my reality. (Elias laughs) I think I did, you know? I didn’t see it coming, and then I’m like, oh my!

First of all, I’m curious why my breathing cleared up after a few days of interacting with her, if that was some kind of an acknowledgment on my part that I do want an intimate relationship and that I kind of like opened that door back up.

ELIAS: Partially, and also partially a temporary allowance of yourself to be more freely expressing yourself.

DARYL: How come I allowed that at that particular time to be more freely expressing?

ELIAS: To offer yourself an example and an evidence that you can express this and that you can create this. For you are correct in your assessment of what you have expressed in the reasons that you have not engaged relationships within this past time framework; but you also have incorporated another expression and belief in that time framework in which you have doubted your ability to generate that type of expression once again.

DARYL: I know that’s been an area of doubt for me before.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: The next thing that happened was that I became aware of my sexuality and it felt like certain aspects of it were kind of expressing themselves more freely than ever before, including something that kind of surprised me that I would characterize as male energy. I felt like that and sexual activity in general were part of what I considered dangerous energy. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Partially, yes, in your associations. In actuality, it is not dangerous energy; it is your PERCEPTION of dangerous energy, for it is unfamiliar to you and in that unfamiliarity there is an element of unacceptability. For you have perceived yourself in a particular manner for an extended time framework, and you have offered to yourself a noticing and a viewing and an expression of yourself in a genuineness of yourself but in an expression that is quite unfamiliar to you, and therefore has been associated as unacceptable.

DARYL: Shortly after that is when I began having the breathing difficulty.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: So is the sexuality and the unfamiliarity in dealing with that part of why I brought the breathing stuff back?

ELIAS: Yes, for it is threatening. It threatens your association of yourself in your identity of yourself. You have viewed yourself in a particular manner for an extended time framework, and you have presented to yourself different expressions of yourself that you have kept latent in not allowing yourself your freedom for an extended time framework. In allowing yourself to view these unfamiliar expressions, there is an element of threat and fear that...

DARYL: It’s related more to the new elements rather than just sexuality in general?

ELIAS: Yes. This is how it has been expressed and presented within your experience thus far. But even that, in a manner of speaking, was enough.

DARYL: Okay, I guess that’s ... are you there?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I can tell I’m messing with the phone! This must be an area that I’ve definitely feeling threatened in.

I’m still not clear — is it sexuality in general, or those things that I felt surfacing at that particular time?

ELIAS: Those expressions that you noticed surfacing, so to speak.

DARYL: So I’m having trouble with that?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking.

DARYL: I didn’t think I was. I thought it was all kind of a general sexual thing.

When the breathing thing began, it happened pretty soon after this woman and I had what I call a spat, which is another subject that I’d like to get to today. I know that my attention wavered away from self considerably. Is my attention changing also partly involved in the onset of the fear and breathing?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Also I went into a real extreme with the breathing, more than I’ve had in quite a while. Before when that happened I was contrasting struggle and ease, so is this also involving struggle?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Does that have to do with my feeling about struggle adding value to a relationship?

ELIAS: Yes, and conversely this IS a familiar expression.

DARYL: Yes, it is. So things were just going too easy there and I thought I’d gum up the works!

ELIAS: (Laughs) Let me express to you, what becomes quite easy is to project your attention outside of yourself, for it is very familiar to be paying attention to the other individual and concerning yourself with the expressions and the choices of the other individual and speculating and anticipating. THIS is what becomes your dangerous energy.

But also, as I have stated, you have perceived yourself to be expressing some dangerous energy in paying attention to yourself and discovering different expressions of yourself that are a natural flow that you were unaware of previously; but they are unfamiliar and therefore become threatening.

DARYL: In that sense, it was a way to get away from that trip?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Also at this time, I was having a horrible time getting to sleep, and it seemed like I was also scaring myself in the dream state like I have in the past. Some of it may have involved other focuses. Was there something to do with focuses in my dream state?

ELIAS: Yes, but let me clarify to you that you draw that energy to yourself in association with what you are generating in that time framework within your objective experience. Remember, the objective and the subjective move in harmony.

DARYL: I didn’t get much information about the dream-state focus. But I wondered, do I share another focus with this individual where we’re female lovers?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Was that my third century AD Christian focus?

ELIAS: In actuality, you incorporate more than one focus with this individual. But yes, you are correct in the identification of that one.

DARYL: I got killed by a mob in that one, and I thought it was for being Christian. Did it have anything to do with sexuality?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Was I killed for my sexuality?

ELIAS: Partially, yes.

DARYL: But I was bringing that in, you say, as a result of what I was generating objectively with this individual.

ELIAS: Correct — conflict and conflict.

DARYL: I also had a brief impression of a Chinese man who was being tortured. Was that also something I was doing in the dream state, that focus?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Does that focus have to do with that other individual also?

ELIAS: Yes, but in different capacity.

DARYL: She wasn’t there in the torturing?

ELIAS: No.

DARYL: Also within this, I was wondering if my breathing was having to do with stating something regarding preferences. I am still unclear in this, but my understanding is that I have decided in this opening to my natural flow and going towards a romantic relationship that I also want to open to this individual’s family and become closer with them. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: That is a direction that I am choosing that I want?

ELIAS: Yes, for this is associated with your preference and your beliefs concerning intimate relationships and how they are configured.

DARYL: I believe that that would be a natural by-product of the relationship?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: It isn’t necessarily something that I am choosing to do in terms of my natural flow or my intent or whatever?

ELIAS: It is not associated with not being in relation to your natural flow; this is not an association. It is in relation to your beliefs and what influences your choices. It is not a matter of your natural flow; it is not a matter of your intent. It is a matter of your beliefs and your choices, and the influence of your beliefs in relation to your choices.

DARYL: I guess I’m still having trouble understanding this. How is the fear and breathing related to that information? Was I trying to show myself that I was making choices but they’re related to beliefs?

ELIAS: Yes, and preferences. Remember, your preferences are also associated with beliefs. They are beliefs that you prefer.

DARYL: You know, I just got that last week for the first time. So basically I’m saying that I hold these beliefs, they’re okay, and I want to go with them?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes. But at times, you may hinder or block your preferences in association with other individuals, for you also concern yourself with the wants and the choices of the other individuals. Therefore, you restrict your preferences, for you incorporate a skepticism in association with those preferences and their compatibility with other individuals and their choices and their expressions.

DARYL: So I think that my choices might not be compatible with her choices?

ELIAS: Or that they may not be quite acceptable in the manner in which you choose to be expressing yourself. Therefore, you modify to be accepting to the other individual, rather than being accepting of yourself.

DARYL: (Sighs) Even though I do have a preference to go with a similar thing?

ELIAS: In the expressions in which you recognize the similarity, you generate less conflict and you allow yourself to express yourself more freely. In what you recognize as any difference, even if the difference may appear to be slight, you recede.

(Gently) For you incorporate a fear, my friend, of that expression of intimacy and how the other individual shall perceive you. Therefore, you attempt to be accommodating of the other individual and modifying your expressions to fit. Are you understanding?

DARYL: Yes, and I’m aware of that. I don’t know, I guess I thought that I was not aware of my own desires in that area and that they matched up more than they did.

ELIAS: Let me express to you, I am not expressing this to you. I am not discounting your awareness of the compatibility. What I am expressing to you is information, that you may recognize moments in which you generate this action and therefore also present to yourself physical manifestations in extremes to move your attention as a signal to yourself to be paying attention to yourself. This is not to discount what you have engaged with this individual and the compatibility. I am not expressing that to you. What I am expressing to you is to pay attention in moments in which you are generating these signals and to recognize what influences those signals, that you do not ensnare yourself in familiar patterns that you have generated pastly.

I am acknowledging of you that in this scenario you have generated much more of an openness and much more of a freedom than you have pastly, which is significant. But this is not the nature of your question; this is not what you inquired of me. You inquired of me an identification of what you were generating in association with your breathing — not an acknowledgment of whether you were creating a compatibility with this individual, but an identification of what you were creating in association with this breathing.

DARYL: That has to do with me paying attention to myself and noticing what’s going on. I’m trying to get my attention.

ELIAS: Correct! In the time frameworks in which you are not generating that expression and you are allowing yourself your freedom, you are generating a compatibility and a complement, and you are expressing your freedom.

Now; at times, the expression of your freedom also has been somewhat threatening, for it is unfamiliar, as I have stated. This is the point of noticing what you are actually generating, whether it is an expression in association with yourself and your allowance of yourself to be expressing freely in an unfamiliar manner and recognizing that you express beliefs in relation to those actions, or whether you are actually modifying your expressions and not expressing your preferences to be accommodating of the other individual for you are generating a fear in relation to how they may perceive you. Are you understanding?

DARYL: Yes. I did have a period before this happened where I felt like I had a new understanding of keeping my attention on self, and it was different than I’ve had before.

ELIAS: Correct, and thusly you have allowed yourself, in your terms, to risk experimenting and generating an action in which you incorporate an involvement with another individual again.

DARYL: I realized that some of the stuff that’s been going on with this is that soft/soft thing. In a way, it seems like the nasty voice in my head that’s always trashing me kind of comes out through her. Is that basically what’s going on?

ELIAS: And towards...?

DARYL: ...me?

ELIAS: And towards...?

DARYL: ...her?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: So that’s one of the reasons for the conflict?

ELIAS: Correct, which you are already aware that it is significant that you allow yourself to address to your acceptance of your choice of orientation and not to continue to discount or hinder yourself in relation to your orientation.

DARYL: As I accept myself more, that will also be reflected through this soft/soft mirroring, right?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: That could be really pleasant and exciting.

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I just wanted to check that out! (Elias laughs) My understanding is, when I can actually keep my head in the place that I create everything, that I can create everything that I do want with this particular individual, that everything is in place if I just allow myself to create that.

ELIAS: If you are so choosing, yes.

DARYL: As far as I know, I would like to do that. Do you have any other things you would like to say about that, something that I’m not aware of?

ELIAS: Pay attention AND also allow yourself a playfulness.

DARYL: There’s not a lot of that, I’ll say that.

ELIAS: Do not incorporate such an intensity of seriousness, my friend!

DARYL: She’s serious, too!

ELIAS: It matters not!

DARYL: The part of her that I elicit is serious.

ELIAS: And who is creating your reality?

DARYL: I don’t know! Who is? (Laughing)

ELIAS: You! Therefore, incorporate an expression of playfulness, my friend. I am aware that you draw yourself to and appreciate a certain element of seriousness within your focus, but you may experience much more of an ease if you are allowing yourself to attempt to incorporate SOME expression of playfulness.

DARYL: Hopefully we’ll be doing that, too. (Elias laughs)

Let’s see. I’m getting low on time. During all of this, I’ve also had another series of (inaudible) that I’ve gotten that has a different meaning each time. I found this very confusing but I’m sure it’s mixed up in this. It seems to me that it might be a message that I’m considering something a mistake instead of a choice.

ELIAS: At times.

DARYL: I also thought it might have to do with discounting myself without thought, without a thought process.

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Is that the main one?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I don’t even have to think the discounting thought. I can go directly to the discounting.

ELIAS: Correct, as may you all!

DARYL: (Laughs) Does it have anything to do with that dual response, which is the discounting?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.

DARYL: Speaking of preferences, I’m confused about another thing. Currently I’m involved in a plan with some people to possibly revisit Donner Pass where the whole Donner thing happened. This was coming up last week. I know that I was getting something about preferences in relation to the trip, but do I have a preference in relation to not going to that place and doing that?

ELIAS: Yes. You incorporate a preference to be interactive with other individuals and sharing your experiences in relation to now and to other focuses — but in communication, not necessarily in re-visitation.

DARYL: That’s kind of a general thing?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: So I might not want to go to a place where I had a life or something? I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t know whether I want to do this trip or not, because I know I have an aversion to that life. But like you were saying, I do enjoy communicating with Sandel and Oona...

ELIAS: Correct.

Now; situations such as these, or in actuality any situation, is not quite as black and white as you perceive it to be, my friend — remember this. You may incorporate the interaction, you may incorporate the trip and allow yourself to interact with your friends, but not necessarily visit the physical location that may incorporate an adverse response within you.

In a manner of speaking, as an example hypothetically, you may choose to be incorporating a trip with the express purpose of engaging the action of skiing with your friends. You may all meet in that location and they may incorporate the action of skiing, and you may choose not to. Are you understanding?

DARYL: And that would allow me to satisfy the desire to interact but not put me in conflict with my...

ELIAS: Correct! This is the point of listening to yourself in all of your communications and not viewing your choices as black and white.

DARYL: That does give me a way that I could kind of honor what I’m feeling from myself but still have the experience with them.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: Just one quick thing, because we’re running late. I talk to you in my head all the time. One night I was laying there talking to you in my head and I found myself speaking aloud in my voice like in an imitation of you or sounding like you. What was that? Is that some kind of movement towards hearing you out loud objectively?

ELIAS: Correct, and allowing yourself to translate your interaction with myself in language to yourself.

DARYL: It was practice for speaking to you objectively?

ELIAS: Correct!

DARYL: It was quite a surprise! (Elias laughs) It was fun, though.

ELIAS: I have expressed to you all that you incorporate the ability to be generating this type of action.

DARYL: I know, but it seems difficult for a lot of us to actually move there. (Elias laughs) One time I did hear Jonathan say my name out loud, but it really freaked me out. I know I want to hear you, but I know in this other way I’m scared of the whole idea.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

DARYL: I’m hoping I understand this well enough to go on. I do have already another session planned with you in a month because I have the feeling this relationship really might be something I want some input on.

ELIAS: Very well! I shall be anticipating our next discussion.

DARYL: Thanks for all of your information today.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my dear friend. I shall continue to be expressing my energy with you in supportiveness, as always.

DARYL: Feel free to poke me in the ribs or something if I’m not paying attention to something.

ELIAS: Very well! (Laughs)

DARYL: I know you have your many ways of doing that!

ELIAS: Ah, you are quite correct! (Laughs) I express tremendous affection to you, Ashrah. In fondness and anticipation, I express to you, au revoir, my friend.

DARYL: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 3:33 PM.

(1) See 4/26/03.

©2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.