Friday, January 17, 2003 (Private/In Person)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Kevin (Jashue)

Elias arrives at 12:26 PM. (Arrival time is 35 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

KEVIN: Good morning! (Elias chuckles) What I want to start with today is I saw you about a year ago and I just have some questions. I’d kind of like to see where I fit into things.

My first question is — and I’ll give you my impressions, if you like — how many focuses have I had? I don’t know if I can give you an impression on that. My impression is it’s not a big number. (Pause)

ELIAS: You are correct — 196.

KEVIN: I haven’t been able to read as many sessions as I’d like, so I want to ask a question about focuses. Is a focus something in this physical reality or this physical dimension, or all physical dimensions, in which you might have a focus?

ELIAS: Focuses are actually attentions. Therefore, you incorporate focuses in all physical dimensions that you choose to participate within and all nonphysical areas of consciousness.

KEVIN: My impression is this is a continuing focus.

ELIAS: Correct.

KEVIN: Despite that impression, I also have somewhat of an impression of newness to this focus. Not that it’s a new focus, but that — I don’t know where that impression comes from — it feels not familiar. (Pause)

ELIAS: This is associated with the choice that you have incorporated in this particular focus. You are correct; you are not a beginning or initiating focus.

But in this particular focus, you have chosen to be expressing somewhat more of a separation to be offering yourself the opportunity to view this physical reality in a particular manner with a type of freshness, so to speak, allowing you to view this focus and all that you create within it as surprising and different, and as you have stated, a newness in a manner of speaking, which allows you more of a perception of lightness in this particular focus and a motivation for exploration, without allowing for the unconfigured bleed-throughs of other focuses.

KEVIN: I want to ask you about one. I don’t know if it was another focus, but I think maybe it was. It was a woman who lived mainly in the earlier part of this century on the East Coast, who I know as Mary. I’m not sure that was her name; it may just be what I know her as. Was that a focus of mine?

ELIAS: Yes.

KEVIN: So those are my initial questions. Now we’ll get into the meat of the matter. (Elias laughs)

I want to talk today about something that has caused me a lot of embarrassment in my life, and that is that I am a cross-dresser and I don’t know why or what that’s about. Any information you could give me about that would be appreciated.

ELIAS: Very well. I may express to you, first of all, this is not necessarily unusual. I am understanding your expression of embarrassment, although I may also express to you in encouragement that it is unnecessary. That expression is highly influenced by your beliefs concerning what other individuals express or what their perceptions may be, which matters not. They are your choices.

In this, let me express to you, individuals within this physical reality choose in each focus a gender — or not, for there are some individuals that do not choose one gender — but for the most part, generally speaking, most focuses do choose one or the other gender. This choice is an element of each focus’ exploration within this physical reality.

This physical reality incorporates a duality of design. Therefore, every expression within this reality incorporates that duality, which is not bad and not to be confused with duplicity.

Now; at times, individuals may choose a particular gender to be manifesting as, so to speak, within a particular focus, but they may also incorporate within their direction of exploration the desire to be exploring different expressions and qualities associated with the other gender — not choosing to be manifest as the other gender, but also allowing themselves to explore different expressions that are incorporated by the other gender.

Now; you all incorporate many, many, many beliefs associated with gender, and you also associate much of your identity with your gender. In actuality, your gender is merely a choice of physical manifestation and function. For without the beliefs associated with gender, it literally is merely a choice of a particular form and function.

But as I have stated, there are many beliefs associated with gender. In this, there is much to be explored in association with those beliefs with respect to each gender. For regardless that they are beliefs, they are expressed, and this creates a reality in association with them.

Now; this type of exploration is not limited to one gender or the other, for both genders incorporate similar types of actions. There are differences in the associations with individuals of the different genders.

Female gender, generally speaking, may not necessarily express an exploration of adorning themselves in the manner of a male individual. But if they are choosing this type of exploration of incorporating one gender but also exploring some of the qualities of the other gender, generally speaking they present themselves quite differently and many times express an energy that appears to be androgynous. They also incorporate challenge and conflict at times, and confusion at times, in their choice.

Now; male individuals, generally speaking, offer themselves more freedom in exploration of female qualities, unless the female is expressing an allowance and a freedom in association with sexual preference. In these situations, the female gender may allow themselves much more of a freedom of exploration of male qualities although incorporating the gender of the female.

But there are male individuals that allow themselves to be expressing the officially accepted mass beliefs in association with sexual preferences but also allow themselves to be exploring different expressions and qualities of the female gender. In actuality, in many situations the individuals express much fun and pleasure in that exploration, although some do not.

I may express to you that this expression actually fits quite well with what you have chosen in this particular focus in allowing yourself a freedom of exploration in that freshness and not necessarily blocking yourself in association with very strongly held mass beliefs.

Let me express to you, my friend, this is quite a playful expression and quite harmless. There is no need for you to be concerning yourself with the perceptions of other individuals or to be discounting of yourself, for you are merely exploring different types of qualities and expressions in a playful manner and allowing yourself to express your preferences, which is the point.

KEVIN: Is this a choice made in this focus? Does it come from other focuses, is it related to other focuses, or just in this focus I’ve decided to make this choice?

ELIAS: This focus.

KEVIN: When I cross-dress, I’m aware of two kind of threads of what’s going on. One is I recognize what you’re saying. But then there’s also the cross-dressing for sexual gratification, and I’m wondering how that gets tied into it.

ELIAS: In what manner?

KEVIN: I would think that when I cross-dress I would just cross-dress for the fun of it, and I do. But also it seems like there’s a need for a sexual release to kind of end it and return to maleness.

ELIAS: But this is also fun.

KEVIN: Oh, yes!

ELIAS: (Laughs) You incorporated a seriousness in that explanation as though there may be some negative expression in that adventure. In actuality, this also is another expression of the fun and the pleasure of this type of exploration.

In this, there are many expressions associated, as I have stated, with gender. You incorporate many beliefs associated with gender, not merely function. Therefore, they also are interplaying in this action and the exploration of many expressions and aspects of this type of action, which is quite understandable, for this is an aspect of the exploration of the qualities of different genders and incorporating both. (Pause)

I am assessing from your energy that you view this aspect of the exploration as not quite as good as the other...

KEVIN: You’re probably right.

ELIAS: ...and that there is a conflict with this particular expression. What do you assess is the source of your conflict in association with the sexual expression?

KEVIN: I guess that as I’ve gotten older I’ve cross-dressed less, I’ve felt the need to cross-dress less, and yet it remains the primary focus of my sexual gratification. So I was wondering if I had built in that’s how sexual gratification comes and I’m just used to that, even though I may be ready to stop cross-dressing as much. In other words, it seems to be leaving my life to some degree in my normal everyday life, but it still remains in my sexual life 100 percent. I’m wondering why that is.

ELIAS: It is a preference. You are expressing a judgment in relation to this preference, or that perhaps this should change also.

KEVIN: I think it was a fear that it wasn’t changing and it should. But if it’s just a preference, I can live with that. I agree it’s a nice preference. (Elias laughs) I still enjoy it.

Can we go back to the focuses? You said I have 196. Can I ask you how many of those are men and how many are women or other? (Pause)

ELIAS: More women than men, although you do incorporate several that may be associated as androgynous. You also incorporate a significant numbering of focuses that express (15-second pause) other sexual preferences.

KEVIN: So I do that a lot.

ELIAS: It appears to be a preference of essence in exploring in a more colorful manner and not necessarily expressing compliance with societal mass beliefs.

KEVIN: Also, for the focuses, what’s the mix of intermediate, soft, or common?

ELIAS: Interesting question. (Pause) You express a preference to the soft orientation.

KEVIN: Thanks!

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

KEVIN: I think we’re ready to change subject matter now. I have a twin brother, a sister and an older brother. My feeling is that my twin brother and my sister may be connected to me as counterparts. I think it’s counterparts. My twin brother is a born-again Christian, my sister is an atheist, and I’m kind of halfway between! (Elias laughs) So I’m wondering what our connection is.

ELIAS: You are correct in association with counterpart action. You also incorporate several other focuses with each other and generate an ease in this type of counterpart action between you, for you incorporate that type of action in other focuses also.

KEVIN: Is the purpose of this counterpart action to explore that issue of faith versus reason versus something in-between?

ELIAS: An exploration of religious beliefs, which is quite extensive.

KEVIN: The focus that I mentioned earlier, Mary, from what I’ve gotten, Mary lived for a while with two roommates. I was wondering if that was my brother and my sister in other focuses.

ELIAS: Temporarily, yes.

KEVIN: Seth mentioned something about twins. They have a strong connection or it seemed like a strange connection somehow. Can you tell me if there’s anything extraordinary about my relationship with my twin brother?

ELIAS: Let me express to you, at times essences that choose to be manifesting together as what you term to be twins may also choose in agreement with each other to be expressing more consistently and frequently their empathic senses with each other, singularly. Not incorporating the engagement of that empathic sense with other individuals necessarily, but focusing their exchange of that empathic sense with each other in a singular manner, which may be interpreted by individuals as extraordinary connections or psychic powers with each other. In actuality, all individuals incorporate this empathic sense, but the difference is that at times twins choose to incorporate it singularly.

At times — rarely, but at times — one essence shall choose to manifest in two manifestations, two focuses, which may be viewed as twins; but this is quite rare. Many times in those rare occasions the two manifestations are divided and do not incorporate the same family. It is quite rare that one essence shall manifest in two focuses and continue within the same family and the same physical location, but it does occur.

In this choice that you have incorporated in this focus, to a slight extent you and your brother allow yourselves at times to be singularly focusing that empathic sense with each other, but not as often as some other essences choose to be. You have chosen to be manifesting in this manner, I may express to you, in playfulness — in a manner of speaking, in an expression of fun to be mirroring each other, not merely inwardly but outwardly.

In actuality, this is quite a playful expression that you have incorporated. It may not always appear that manner, for you may incorporate some disagreement. But in actuality, it has served you well in reflection of each other.

It matters not that surfacely it may appear that you incorporate different directions, which is another aspect of the counterpart action that you incorporate. For you also mirror each other quite strongly — at times, very strongly — and you do offer yourselves an interesting, playful reflection continuously. But as I have stated, at times you also mirror each other quite strongly. Perhaps you may observe the similarities in what appears to be quite different.

KEVIN: While we’re talking about connections between individuals, let me just ask you something else I wondered about. Is there a connection between my present wife and my previous one? The reason I ask that is because they both use made-up words that no one else uses that I know of. What’s going on here?

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Yes, these two individuals share many focuses together, and therefore there is much of a familiarity. But there is a familiarity in association with yourself also, in an allowance of your playfulness. (Pause)

KEVIN: Next subject... (Elias laughs) I’m just going through the list!

Right now I’m in a period where everything’s going wrong, and I’ve noticed that I have those periods. I’ve now learned to know when I’m in a period like that where expenses come up that weren’t expected, I get sick, and everything just goes wrong. I don’t even worry about it anymore because I know that it’s a period that will end. Most of the time everything’s fine.

ELIAS: And what are you expressing to yourself?

KEVIN: You tell me! (Elias laughs) I don’t know! What am I expressing? That’s what confuses me — I don’t know. Got any hints?

ELIAS: Shall you not attempt?

KEVIN: What it feels like when it happens is that the confidence that I usually walk around with I let fall for a minute and I allow myself to feel there really is a lot of fear there, so now I’m just going to batter myself with things going wrong to see how strong I am against it.

ELIAS: Partially; partially it is an expression of discounting yourself. Partially, more so, you generate these time periods in which you assess or you perceive that many expressions are wrong for you are paying less attention to you. This is the reason that you may assess that at times you allow your confidence to drop, so to speak.

In actuality, it is that you are not paying attention to yourself and paying attention to your expressions. Your attention moves outside of yourself, and as it moves outside of yourself, you are not directing yourself as precisely as you allow yourself to do in other time frameworks.

In a manner of speaking, figuratively, in these time frameworks you may view yourself to be not steering your vehicle. In other time frameworks, your hands are firmly upon your wheel and you are directing yourself and you are paying attention and you are steering in directions that you want. In these time frameworks, figuratively speaking, you loose your grip upon your wheel and your vehicle is moving willy-nilly. (Chuckles) Eventually you grow weary of this action, and you remind yourself to pay attention and you grip your wheel once again!

This is not an expression of control or lack of control; it is an expression of steering your attention and paying attention to yourself or not paying attention to yourself. In the time frameworks in which you are not paying attention to yourself, many expressions occur, many events occur, that may be uncomfortable or what you do not necessarily want or like.

KEVIN: I’ve been told by psychics and the like that one of my major problems is I don’t pay enough attention to myself, that I pay attention to others first.

ELIAS: But at times you are paying attention to yourself and offering yourself your freedom and your preferences, and you are steering your ship in the manner in which you want.

I am not quite in agreement that you are expressing this action of not paying attention to yourself in such consistency. I may express to you, at times you are not paying attention to yourself, but you also offer yourself evidence of that action.

Now; whether you pay attention to the evidence or not may be another question! But you do express evidence to yourself in the time frameworks in which you are not paying attention.

Let me express to you also, that may be another element of your fun, for it is a distraction and it alters your reality for a temporary time framework in which you create very different expressions. As you are aware, you do not continue them and you know that they are temporary. At times, your letting go of your wheel may be merely to distract yourself and offer yourself differences in perceptions. (Chuckles)

KEVIN: One thing that’s going on right now is I have a history of a relationship with doctors, where they tell me I have something and I don’t believe it and it’s not true — kidney stones once, that were supposed to pass painfully and I just stopped going to the doctor because I didn’t believe it; heart problems, where they told me I had an enlarged heart and my reaction was “why would that be a problem?” (Elias chuckles) and then they found out I actually had a fine heart. But recently I’m having prostate problems, perhaps.

ELIAS: And what is your choice?

KEVIN: My reaction to that is well, I can believe that one. So I’m wondering if that kind of reaction to it would tend to bring it into reality, whereas the reaction before of “I don’t believe it” wouldn’t. In other words, am I setting myself up by creating that belief of okay, I can believe that one? Or am I believing that one because I have some inner knowing that is relating to an issue that I actually do have? (Pause)

ELIAS: In association with your initial question, yes — may you be generating an energy to create a physical affectingness in this physical body area? Yes.

Your beliefs are quite influencing of what you create. The beliefs that you associate with and you express are what you concentrate upon, and you do create what you concentrate upon. As I have expressed many times, this is not associated with thought. Thought is merely a translating mechanism. Concentration is not expressed in association with thought, contrary to what you think (laughs), but it is associated with beliefs and which beliefs you express.

For you incorporate all beliefs but you do not express all beliefs, and you choose to be expressing different beliefs in different time frameworks. You also choose to express some beliefs perhaps throughout the entirety of your focus. But they are quite influencing of your perception and your perception IS what creates your reality. Therefore, if you are expressing a concentration in association with a belief that you may create this type of affectingness, so you shall; but you may also alter that in any moment.

Now; is this associated with an issue that you express? Partially — not entirely — but partially in association with sexuality. But in keeping with many or most of your expressions and your directions in this focus, it is also, in a manner of speaking, a type of playful exploration, a daring exploration.

In a manner of speaking, what you are expressing to yourself is “Very well, I shall experiment with this belief and perhaps manifest a physical affectingness and subsequently not manifest it and confound those around me, and I shall view this as quite fun!” For you are not expressing fearfulness, in actuality, but more of a curiosity.

KEVIN: We’re doing great on this list! (Elias laughs) In fact, I think I’m running out of questions.

I just want to ask, is there something...? This is like give me a hint. If you had to pick one thing that I’m missing, that I’m just not seeing that I should be seeing, or one area that’s just going over my head but shouldn’t be, is there something like that you can offer?

ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend, this continues to be an interesting question to myself, which is expressed by many individuals.

I may express to you in response to this question, what you are not seeing or viewing that in your terms perhaps you should be seeing is that you are seeing quite adequately for the awareness that you are incorporating now.

It is not a question of some hidden belief or issue that may be influencing you that you are not viewing, but rather that you allow yourself the acceptance of yourself in this now and the knowing that this awareness that you express in this now is the perfect awareness in this now. Therefore, whatever you are expressing now is quite in conjunction with this awareness, and that is quite acceptable.

KEVIN: Good! (Elias chuckles) One last question and I think we’re done.

ELIAS: Very well.

KEVIN: It’s just a matter of interest for me. I had a Seth group for many years. One evening, a woman showed up for the Seth group who had not been there before and offered some very interesting advice and left at the end of the evening, never to be heard from again. When she left, I said, “That woman is connected to Jane Roberts in some way. That was Jane Roberts here. I don’t think that person really exists in this reality. We’ll never hear from her again, and I just don’t think she exists.” I tried to call her the next week and her number was disconnected. What was that?

ELIAS: A pop-in.

KEVIN: That’s what I thought. That was nice of her! (Elias chuckles) So I was correct. Okay, I’ve crossed it all out! (Elias laughs) Let’s see if I can think of anything else I need to ask before I let you go.

Let me ask you one more thing. I am not aware of your presence other than when we meet in these sessions. Are you aware of me at other times?

ELIAS: Continuously, and if you are allowing yourself an openness and a quietness within yourself you may notice my energy.

KEVIN: Great. I’m glad to hear it.

ELIAS: I offer it to you continuously. Perhaps remind yourself within your own playful expressions that I may be quite playful also and perhaps shall enjoy joining you in your playful expressions! (Laughs)

KEVIN: Thank you very much.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting.

KEVIN: I shall too.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Do not discount yourself. Allow yourself your freedom. You are quite worthy of it.

KEVIN: I will, thanks.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) To you in tremendous affection as always, my friend, au revoir.

KEVIN: Bye.

Elias departs at 1:19 PM.

©2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.