Saturday, October 22, 2022
Mary’s Not-Talk
Session 20221022
Mary’s Not-Talk
“The Mini”
Saturday, October 22, 2022 (Group/Hinsdale, New Hampshire)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Aaron (Todd), Ann (Vivette), Bonnie (Lyla), Chris (Luthra), Chris (Xavier), Debbie (Tamarra), Denise (Azura), Hazra (Lettecia), John (Lonn), John (Rrussell), Karen (Turell), Lea (Myha), Lynda (Ruther), Mark (Liam), Melissa (Leah), Peter (Stefan) and Yvonne (Zarla)
[NOTE: Mary began her talk by announcing that she was not going to do a “Mary’s Talk” today, which resulted in a lot of group chatter.]
MARY: (Looking at Bonnie) She’s like, “What? That’s impossible!” But you know, I mean, it’s been (laughs) –
BONNIE: I’ve already got “Mary’s Talk” and all the participants. (Group laughter)
LYNDA: Say something. You have to fill in – (Group laughter and chatter)
MARY: (Pointing to Bonnie) She was like (mimicking Bonnie expressing surprise), “What?” Her facial expression! (Laughs) Well, nothing really earth-shaking has been happening. I mean, I got my new machine and I’m really, really happy with it. And you’ve got to see this machine. It’s crazy. It’s wicked cool.
But I don’t know. I’ve been sick for almost a month, so that’s the most recent thing on my brain, is being sick. And that’s not very entertaining or (laughs) interesting to talk about. So I don’t really have anything since the last group session. I’m kind of like out of gas. So…
ANN: Yeah, that sounds familiar.
MARY: So this’ll be… (To Bonnie) You can write down, “The first group session that Mary didn’t do a talk.”
ANN: I’ve got my lottery ticket. It’s a miracle.
MARY: I know! (Laughs)
ANN: Miracles are happening today. We’re all going to win the lottery.
MARY: This is a first. (Laughs) I just really didn’t have anything, like any earth-shattering kind of thing to talk about. The most exciting thing for me is that I have a whole group of people doing (claps) sewing lessons. And it’s going to be so fun! I’m very excited about that. (Laughs) That’s going to be very, very fun. But other than that, I’m like kind of not really entertaining today. (Laughs)
ANN: Well, you don’t have to be entertaining.
MARY: Thank you.
ANN: You’re allowed to slack off.
MARY: Ah! Thank you. I know. (To Peter and Lea) And you came all the way from Australia to not hear me talk. (Laughs)
PETER: We heard about the dog, we heard about the Mini, which Lea’s got a Mini.
MARY: Oh really?
PETER: It’s such a fun car.
MARY: It is! It’s the most fun car ever. It’s like being—
PETER: You know what her number plate is?
MARY: What?
PETER: “JOYFUL. ”
MARY: Aha! That’s perfect. That is perfect. That is so cool. I should get my special license plates for the Mini, because I total love it. Yeah. Anybody that’s ever seen any of the “Fast and Furious” movies, that’s so me. I’m so into it. (Group laughter and chatter)
Poor Debbie. We meet in Massachusetts lots of times and go to this fabric store down there which is really cool. It’s just a really cool fabric store. And she’s got this big old boat of a truck, and so she’s following me back up here in the truck and I’m in the Mini. And I’m just like (makes engine acceleration sounds). (Group laughter) I’m looking in my rear view mirror and I’m like, “Where is she?” It’s like she’s lost. I can’t even… And we get back to the house and I’m like, “What happened?” She’s like, “You just go. You’re so fast!” (Group laughter and chatter)
It’s crazy because you don’t even realize. Like I never even get into sixth gear. I haven’t even gotten into sixth gear yet. I only get into fifth gear and I’m already going, like, 85.
ANN: Wow!
MARY: And I don’t even realize I’m going that fast. And then I look down and I’m like, “Ooh! Road cake!” Of course you know if you ever get pulled over by a cop in a Mini, there’s no way you can talk yourself out of it because it’s got a speedometer (holding her arms out) that’s this big. (Group laughter) Right in the middle of the dashboard! Okay, and it has a second one right in front of you that’s digital, but then it’s got this giant one right in the middle of the dashboard. It’s like, “Yeah, uh-huh, you didn’t notice you were going 90? Sure!” (Group laughter)
YVONNE: Like, “I thought it was in kilometers!”
MARY: What?
YVONNE: “I thought it was in kilometers!”
MARY: Oh, yeah! I should. (Group laughter) I should say that. Yeah. (Laughs) “You know, it’s a British car.” (Laughs)
DENISE: “You’re lucky I drove it on the correct side of the road!” (Group laughter)
MARY: But yeah, it’s really easy to go really fast. (Laughs) It’s like really fun. I get a little annoyed sometimes when I’m going to Keene and I get stuck behind somebody who’s put-put-putting, you know.
LYNDA: A little? (Group laughter and chatter)
MARY: Shut up, both of you! (Group laughter) And we’re not in some place where you can pass, you know, because there’s only certain places where you can pass so you get stuck behind somebody. I’m like, “Can I get out of second gear, people?” (Group laughter) “Come on! Hello!” (Chuckles) I’m like, “This is so annoying!” but yeah, I’m not a very…
LYNDA: Patient is the word you’re searching for.
MARY: (Group laughter) I was just going to say that. I’m not a very patient driver. I’m not. Actually, my granddaughter loves to drive with me, and she tells me every time because she cracks up laughing and she’s like, “You’re so fun to drive with, Grandma, because you’re so hostile.” (Group laughter) I am a hostile driver. I have no patience for other drivers. (Group laughter) I’m just like, “Get the fuck out of the way!” (Group laughter) “Move!”
Or they stop. Vermonters are notorious – probably in New Hampshire too, but Vermonters are notorious for stopping in the middle of the road to let somebody cross, to let another car in. (Group laughter and chatter) I mean they just stop, you know? This is not the rules of the road, and they just stop. They’re like being nice. And they hold up a whole line of cars, and you practically rear-end them because they don’t give you any warning. They just stop, and then they’re like (in a sickeningly sweet voice), “Go ahead!” And I’m like BEEEEP! Yeah, laying on the horn. (Group laughter) I like to lay on my horn. (Laughs) It’s, yeah, it’s a fun car. It is a fun car. (Laughs)
All right. You see, I didn’t have anything interesting to talk about except my fun car.
ANN: Except funny stories.
MARY: (Laughs) And my fun car, yeah.
ANN: And your fun car. And fun is good.
MARY: My fun car that’s costing me a fortune. (Laughs) See, if I had a Chevy, you know…
ANN: Why? Does it take a lot of gas?
MARY: No. It’s excellent on gas.
ANN: Oh, repair.
MARY: No, I had to take it in. It’s in the shop right now, and it’s two things that are super expensive, and so it’s going to cost me a fortune to get it fixed. But yeah. No, it’s really good on gas.
ANN: Oh good.
MARY: Yeah, you can go forever.
JOHN (LONN): It’s a lightweight car.
MARY: It’s heavy!
JOHN: Yeah, it is pretty light. It’s like –
DENISE: Compared to the truck maybe.
LYNDA: It seems like it is because the doors are heavy.
MARY: The doors! It’s really heavy.
ANN: Solid.
MARY: It is. They are. I mean because the doors are really heavy and when you close them it sounds like you’re shutting the door on a truck. It’s like, BOOM! I’m like, “These are some heavy doors.” (Laughs) Wow. But it doesn’t seem like it’s a light car.
JOHN: Well, that’s what makes it quick, quick off the line.
MARY: Oh. Oh. Cool. (Group chatter)
ANN: Now the guys are finally having… (Group chatter and laughter)
KAREN: The magic of cars! (Group laughter)
MARY: Cars are cool.
ANN: We can title Mary’s talk “Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!” (Group laughter and chatter)
MARY: Or “Cars Are Cool” (Laughs)
DENISE: Or “I’m a Hostile Driver” (Group laughter and chatter)
ANN: Or “Patience Is the Word You’re Looking For” (Group laughter) We have lots of titles.
MARY: Which there is none of, when I’m driving. (Laughs) That’s something I could really learn, but I don’t want to so… (Laughs) I don’t care.
Okay, here’s your 30-second warning for Elias, so go ahead (indicating the recording devices).
JOHN (RRUSSELL): It’s already gone.
MARY: Oh, it’s already gone. Never mind. (Group laughter) He’s already done it. (Group chatter) Riveting. All the guys will like it, about the Mini. (Laughs)
(Mary’s talk ends after 11 minutes)
©2022 Mary Ennis. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright 2022 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.