Saturday, June 5, 2004

MARY: I'm Mary, in case there's anybody here that didn't already know that! (Laughter) Usually when there are new people I start out by letting them ask questions about the phenomenon or about Elias or about anything, all that good stuff, how this got started or where do I go (laughs) or anything like that. So if anybody has any questions about Elias or about the phenomenon itself or whatever, this would be the time to ask. (Group silence, then laughter) Nobody? No questions? Nothing?

BEN: Why are there no questions?

MARY: Because everybody already knows everything! Cool! Now I don't have to repeat it for the thousandth time! (Laughs)

I did think that maybe it would be interesting if anybody had questions about this wave that we're participating in or something like that. Sometimes people don't always understand everything that Elias is saying about it, and it's nice to have examples of things in real life and stuff like that - also if anybody had anything that they wanted to share about what they're going through with all these truths and things like that. It seems to be a pretty big deal these days, and people are having a hard time dealing with all of these truths and trying to figure out what to do with it all. (Slight pause)

I guess everybody's really up to speed on that, too, and has no problem with it!

CHRISTINE: I could say a few comments on this. I'm Christine. My essence name is Lurine, but you've never read a transcript from me.

MARY: Because she's relatively new.

CHRISTINE: What I've been noticing is there have been a lot of events that seem to be occurring in my life that are rather stressful in one way or another. I had all these plumbing issues in my house, and I had problems with my ears blocking up and crackling and so forth. I talked to Elias about this, and he said this was a blocking of energy that had to do with the truth of elimination, that there's not a flow going on. So this has been a rather interesting challenge for me.

Also it seemed like every time I came up against something that was stressful for one reason or another - I had a skin condition and there were just little things - he also kept reminding me that this particular wave is not a wave in which we are going to be intellectualizing this stuff. We are going to be experiencing things directly and coming up against our personal truths.

So this has sort of given me a different perspective every time something happens that I'm going, "Ugh!" I have to recognize there's probably a truth involved and that this has to do with this wave. So that's what I've been noticing the last six months.

MARY: Cool.

Well, I am going to talk about one thing before we get started with Elias. I talked about it in Vermont and we didn't tape it, and I got a lot of feedback from people that were really upset that we didn't tape it. I had some experiences this year in figuring out what it means to reconfigure energy. Elias talks about this a lot. I don't know about all of you, but up until I had this experience I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. It was just words.

I noticed that this year, like I have for the last four years, I started getting all stressed out in February. I had a terrible month. I was stressed out because I was anticipating having to do my taxes. Every year I go through this same thing where I get really anxious and really upset and worried and nervous because I just know that the big bad government is going to come and get me and do terrible things to me, and I'm going to have to pay them thousands and thousands of dollars because that's what you have to do with the government. Every year I stress out. I don't know why I do it in February. You would think I'd do it in March, but I don't. So this year I was doing it again, only this year I was worse than ever because I was just completely convinced that I was going to have to pay tons of thousands of dollars to the government for taxes for last year.

I was so stressed out and everything kept going wrong. As much as I was trying to save money so that I could pay the government, everything that could possibly go wrong and that I would have to pay out money for was happening: the dog got sick, I was paying for vet bills, the pipes broke in the house, the car broke. Everything that could possibly go wrong was going wrong, and every time something would go wrong it would make me even more stressed. Plus at the same time I was checking airfares to come here, and I was stressed out about that because every time I would check the fares they were $1500. I was like, "Oh no, I'm never going to be able to afford this!" It just seemed like nothing could go right the whole entire month, and I was a wreck over the whole thing.

By the end of the month, I was standing in my kitchen, cooking on my stove, and I had this pot on my stove and the bottom broke on the pot. This is impossible because the pot is all one piece, so for the bottom to break off is pretty impossible. So I was standing there in the kitchen with this huge mess all over my stove and all over my floor, and I was screaming at this pot, "That's it! This is the last straw! I can't deal with this anymore! Now I have to go buy a new pot! Can anything else happen where I have to go spend more money, when I don't want to have to spend any money at all?"

I was screaming at this pot - thank god nobody was home! - and I started to hear myself, what I was saying. I was screaming at this pot, saying to this pot, "You couldn't do this a month from now? You had to do it now? Next month it wouldn't have bothered me, but now I'm so stressed out about this whole thing."

And I stopped, because I heard what I said. I started to think about it and I was like, "Wait a minute, that's right - next month I wouldn't be stressed out about it. If this happened a month from now, I probably wouldn't even think about it. I would just laugh and say, 'That's an impossible thing to happen,' and I would tell myself, 'Oh well, I've wanted to buy new pots and pans for five years anyway. Now is my excuse to do it.'" I would go out and buy them, and I wouldn't think about it. I would have the money to buy them, and it wouldn't be a big deal at all. But at that moment it was a big deal.

So I started to think about it, and I started to think about what Elias was saying about reconfiguring energy. That was the first time that something had happened that I thought I might be able to do this. I gave myself an example, and I figured, "Well, let me try something. Maybe the reason everything is going wrong every year during this month is because I change my energy every year during this month. I get so nervous, I get very protective of money, I get very stressed out, and that's the kind of energy I'm putting out and so everything goes wrong."

I'm not like that most of the rest of the year. Money is usually something that I don't think about very much and it doesn't bother me. If I need to go and buy something, I just do it and I don't really give it a whole lot of thought.

So I thought to myself, "Okay, maybe if I tried to just do things that I normally do, maybe that will change whatever energy I'm putting out and maybe things will start to change." Mind you, I still felt the same way. I was still stressed out. I was still worried. I was still thinking about my taxes and the government and things like that. But even though I was still feeling that way, I decided to do different things.

So the next day I went out and bought new pots and pans. I spent the money and I bought new pots and pans. I put them on my table and looked at them for three days because they were so cool! (Laughs)

Well, a few days later I went on the computer to check air prices again, and all of a sudden I found an airfare for $500 - which it didn't end up being $500 with everything that they add into it - but I was like, "Wow! This must be a sign to myself that I did change something in my energy." Something changed, even though I was still feeling upset.

Then a few days later I decided to get my taxes together and send them up to my tax lady. She called me a few days after she got my information, and because I did so many trips last year I actually lost money instead of making any money. So she tells me, "Oh, I have wonderful news! Your taxes are very low. You'll get a refund from the state." I never get a refund; I always have to pay! She said, "You'll get a refund from the state, and you only have to pay $600 to the federal government." I was like, "Wow, I thought I would have to pay $10,000. Oh my god, this is so great! It must be working! I must be doing it, even though it feels like nothing changed."

Then a few days after that I got an email from David in England, telling me that the first Elias book got picked up by a publisher and that they would be paying me royalties for the book, which was like free money - oh, wow! So that was really exciting. The very same day that that happened, a producer in California called me to interview me to be on a TV show they are producing that will air next year. So all these things, everything, turned the complete opposite of what it was to begin with.

I think the important piece was that lots of times when people are thinking, "How do I change my energy to make something different," they automatically think that they should feel different, that if they're changing their energy then they should feel fine. I don't think that's necessarily true. I think you can change your energy and make things go the way that you want them to go by doing different things. You might not feel any different right away, but after you start giving yourself examples of how it is changing, because things start to turn around and they start to happen differently, then you start to feel better and start to trust what you're doing.

Many people get into situations, it doesn't matter what kind of a situation it is, and they get very upset or they're sad or they're having a lot of conflict or they can't figure out how to get themselves out of a certain situation or whatever. They just keep trying to think about it, and nothing happens. They keep asking themselves, "Why is all this stuff happening to me?" and that doesn't give them any answers, either. Or they try to make themselves feel something different. I come up against a lot of that with a lot of my clients, where they're in a situation, maybe they're really sad or maybe they're really upset, and they're trying to force themselves to feel something different.

I was speaking with a client of mine just recently who had a death in her family, and she was very, very, very sad - it was her husband, actually. She was talking to me about it, saying, "I keep trying to make myself happy. I keep trying to make myself feel something else." I said, "Well, I don't know how intense that must feel with your husband, but I can tell you that a few years ago I had a dog that was very, very special to me and she died, and I was very, very sad. I just let myself be sad and I didn't try to make it anything different." Interestingly enough, it went away a lot faster. When I wasn't fighting with it so much, it took a lot of the sting of the sadness out of it, so it wasn't like this really hard pain or whatever.

I think that's something to think about also, that when you're really trying to force your energy against something, most of the time it does exactly the opposite of what you want it to do. Then you're really frustrated because you're like, "Oh, I can't do anything right! I don't know how to do this! I'm the only person that reads Elias' material that can't figure it out! I can't make it work!" And that's not true. Everybody goes through all of these kinds of things too, and gets frustrated and has these struggles and whatever.

I think that it's an interesting key to do something different, to notice what you're doing in the time when things are not so great, to notice what it is that you're doing. Your key is what you're feeling. If you're anxious or you're upset or you're depressed or you're nervous or scared, those are your keys to tell you what kind of thing you're doing. In listening to those communications, you can pay attention to what you're actually doing - like for me, trying to hoard money in the bank and not pay for anything because I was trying to protect it and keep it, and that's not a normal flow of energy for me. So I noticed that this was not something that I normally do; I was doing something different.

Sometimes it's a little hard to figure out what you're doing, because you think you're not doing anything. You think that things are just happening to you or they're just happening around you, and so you don't necessarily think that you're doing anything. But you are, and that's what makes things happen in not such a great way.

I just thought it was an interesting example to share with all of you of how to actually do something like that. It's all well and good to listen to Elias say, "Oh, all you have to do is reconfigure your energy," and then you walk away and go, "Okay, what the heck does that mean? I don't even know what my energy is. How am I supposed to reconfigure it?"

BALBINA: But you changed behavior...

MARY: Yes.

BALBINA: ...and then later the emotions and so on changed.

MARY: Yes!

BALBINA: But first you changed behavior.

MARY: And change the actions that you're doing. That makes the other things change, and that then changes the emotion and the thinking, because you can see something.

BALBINA: And this is easier to go this way than to change emotions, for example.

MARY: Yeah. It's pretty hard to change what you're feeling intentionally. You can think about it all you want; it doesn't seem to make it go away! (Laughs) I could think forever, "I hate this feeling in the pit of my stomach!" and it just stays there. But if you change something that you're doing, that kind of...

It's the same principle only in reverse of what you were doing the first time. If you're putting out energy and you're doing things that are making everything go wrong, that's the same principle. It's kind of like a chain reaction. You start doing something and it starts going wrong, and it goes more wrong and it goes more wrong, and it just keeps building. It's the same principle only reversed, where you make a different choice and you do a different action and stop that flow from happening. It's like interrupting that ball rolling and making it roll a different way, and it works in an amazing way! I was pretty amazed, pretty impressed, too! (Laughs) I was like, "Wow, this is pretty cool!"

It's hard to talk about some of these things if you don't have some real examples and you can't share real life examples with somebody. Also what was very interesting about this whole experience or this sequence of experiences was the thing that caught my attention the most was the pot, which was the smallest thing of all of the things that happened. I thought that it was kind of interesting that we have a tendency to look at all these big things and not see sometimes there's a lot of information in something really little.

The whole month all these big things were happening, and I could not figure out how to stop it. I couldn't think of any way to stop it. I was also feeling pretty much like a victim, that everything was happening to me and that I wasn't making it happen. The dog was getting sick - okay, I'm not making that happen! My daughter needed rent money because her husband didn't get paid - okay, I didn't make that happen! Lynda crashed my car.

ANJULI: My session money got lost.

MARY: Oh, yes, twice! That was in that time, too. The money for the sessions got lost in the mail. That didn't happen only with you; that happened with a couple of other people, too. They sent checks and poof, gone! They never arrived. I even went to the post office and talked to the postman, saying, "Is something going wrong here? How come all of a sudden all my mail is getting lost?" He was like, "I don't know. I don't understand." I went back home, telling myself that I'm cursed and I don't know what I'm doing, I can't make this stop, I don't know what it is that I'm putting out that's making it all happen, and I certainly don't know how to stop it and do something different.

But the pot was so little and it was such an obvious thing to me that if I wasn't in that month and if I wasn't feeling what I was feeling, I wouldn't have given that a second thought. At any other time I would have just laughed at it, and it wouldn't have been something that would have made me mad. It would have really genuinely been an excuse for me to go buy new pots and pans, which was really cool!

So even though it was such a small thing, it was a very obvious thing to see that this is why all of these things were happening to me, because I was putting out this kind of energy. I didn't know what kind of energy I was putting out before that, but it really showed me that this is not what I normally do and that's why all of these things were happening, and if I stopped it and did something different, maybe everything would go back to normal. And it did, which was kind of cool.

BALBINA: But even better than normal, no?

MARY: Oh, yeah, actually it was!

BALBINA: Because you had refunds and so on. It was even better.

MARY: My tax lady actually called me a week after she told me that my taxes were going to be $600 and told me that she had found some more write-offs and that they were going to be $350. I was like, "Score!" I actually thought she made a mistake. I was like, "Are you sure?"

It did actually go even better than normal, because I got the book deal and the TV show. Instead of paying out money to the government, people started paying me for the book and for the TV show, for me not to even have to do anything. Checks were coming in! (To Anjuli) It so made up for the lost ones from you! (Laughs) Actually, that's a good point - it did kind of go even better than it would normally, which was pretty exciting.

All right, that's my spiel! (Laughs) That's all I have to say. Now we'll let the dead guy talk.

GROUP: Thank you, Mary.

MARY: You're welcome!

?2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.